Have a Great Weekend.
What are you up to this weekend? I’ve been traveling for work and am excited to come home to squeeze the boys. In my twenties, I would daydream about bringing treats back from a trip for my future children, like my parents used to do. Now I’m keeping an eye out for cool candy or an airport keychain (what they’d actually like best haha). Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…
Crimped hair is back! Thoughts?
The boys each had three helpings of skillet chicken pot pie.
Banana Republic is 40% off right now. I’m eyeing these comfy jeans, these easy shoes, and this pretty sweater.
This ballet dancer’s 345-square-foot apartment still leaves room for stretching.
Six lessons from Sense and Sensibility. For example, “Do not settle for someone shitty” and “Close the door behind you, take a long and lusty walk. Fill your lungs, stretch out your arms, for you are alive!”
”In fighting for every Black child, did I betray my own?” Fascinating online discourse. Next week, This American Life will feature a conversation with the mother and daughter. (NYTimes gift link)
Great picture of a dog, haha.
An excellent 3-in-1 product that makes my skin glow and my mornings easier.
118 things to do instead of doomscrolling. “Go for a cat-spotting walk…Back a car into a driveway without hitting the house.” Genuinely love all of these. (NYTimes gift link)
Plus, two reader comments:
Says PNW Grateful on 9 readers share their honeymoon snapshots: “When we moved cross country, I found an old card from my dad in a box. He had written, ‘Add this to your honeymoon fund, and have a ball.’ He was an older dad, so he was in his seventies when I got married. Now, when my friends text me about their plans, I say ‘Have a ball!’ as an ode to my dad.”
Says Rebecca on how not to cry while chopping onions: “My husband keeps his *dirt-biking* goggles in the kitchen for when he chops onions! It always makes me laugh to walk into the room and find him standing there in those giant goggles.”
(Photo by Karsten Winegeart/Unsplash.)
Comments
104 commentsI just want to say that I love the photo for this post. It has the feeling of both safety and precarity and I keep going back to look at it!
ironically – we went to the hotel in the post picture for our honeymoon! we were hiking around europe and made a detour to stay there. we stayed in the “hermit lodge” (a room with a bed, one side of the room is the mountain) and no bathroom. still beautiful but terrifying to walk to the main house in the middle of the night (and not slip and fall down the mountain) to pee!
I also remember Cynthia Nixon being a big advocate for public schools in NY. Whatever happened with all her work?
Did anyone else have fun trying out crimping styles with their Pretty Crimp ‘n Curl Cabbage Patch doll? It had stiffer hair that would stay styled and a plastic crimped and curling iron. Here’s the commercial: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Srfnh4Idfdc
Yes! I was obsessed with mine, played with it constantly! I have been on a bizarre nostalgia kick recently and have been acquiring some of my old toys on eBay. It makes no sense — I have no space for them, but it’s either this or I take up smoking again in a vain attempt to recapture my carefree youth of the 80s and 90s. I’ll add this one to my list, thanks for the reminder!
Marci, that sounds so fun! What other toys have you acquired/are on your list?
118 things to do instead of doomscrolling – this will also make some excellent ideas for the advent calendar :)
I feel like the chopping onions problem is grossly exaggerated. even if some onions make me cry, it usually only takes a minute and then it is over. seems disproportionate to take measures to me.
You might consider that not everyone is like you. It’s a real problem for me and not over in a minute.
Sometimes my nose is running and tears are streaming down my face and I have to stop to grab Kleenexes. (And yet I rarely just get out the food processor and use it instead of a knife!)
Do you wear contacts? I never have an issue when I’m wearing my contacts, but if I’m cooking while wearing my glasses, it’s a HUGE problem.
I speak for just myself here: I agree it’s overblown. I pretty much only buy sweet yellow onions regardless of what the recipe says and I never cry while chopping them.
Congratulations! It must be wonderful not understanding the misery that many of us endure.
Julie, love your reply. I’m the same as Margaret. It lasts for close to 10 minutes AFTER I have stopped chopping the onions. Now I just get my son to chop as he has no issues when chopping onions.
I think I must be particularly sensitive to them, but working as a prep cook taught me that only sweet onions don’t leave me with a crying hangover that lasts half the day. With a vidalia, it’s a short unpleasantness, any other onion makes me cry so hard I literally can’t see, and then has people asking me if I’m sick for the rest of the day. So perhaps there’s a range of systems responses to the irritant.
I’m with Amrita and Julie here. What a weird flex and incorrect take.
I wish it was over that quickly for me. The intense burning and eye watering and nose running can last for much longer than just a minute or two and happens with all onions.
I think I’m just being fussy, but why not mention Pulitzer Prize winning Nikole Hannah-Jones by name when you link her piece and mention that she (“the mother”) will be on This American Life? She’s not just some random person…. she has been contributing very meaningfully to discourse about race and education for many years now. Who she is is important to the context.
I noticed today that Kelsey is no longer on the “team” page. Did I miss her departure somehow? I’m really going to miss her work! I wonder if Cup of Jo could do goodbye posts for staff members who are leaving? I bet we’d all love to say thank you :)
Yes, she had a six-month position, and she is a very talented writer. I’ll think about goodbye posts, that could be a great idea!
Oh good catch! I loved the humanity and humor in Kelsey’s posts.
Crimped hair: 1) I don’t think it looks too bad… it’s just a style 2) As a person with lots of naturally curly hair, crimped hair would mean a ridiculous amount of work for me. So it is a hard pass. 3) I associate crimped hair with young people but I am reconsidering. Maybe it would look cool on older women, especially women with fun hair colours like pink. Thoughts?
I want the ILIA product, but I have a new skin product standard. This spring, we adopted two sweet kittens. One of them quickly took to soothing himself to sleep by licking my face. Now he’s a giant 12 pound (and growing! Seems to be part Maine Coon!) baby who loves everyone and everything. He stretches from my chin to my legs, but still licks my face to calm down or go to sleep. Now, when I put anything on my face, I have to ask “Is this safe for Waldo to lick?” Upside, my face is well exfoliated!
Ah, we were just at that guesthouse in July! Kind of wish we were back in Switzerland now. But we ARE in Denver visiting our son and his wife, and we had a fabulous Peruvian meal at Red Llama in Lone Tree last night. Highly recommend! Everyone loved their meals, and their fresh squeezed passion fruit juice has converted me from a hater to a lover. Why did it always taste like perfume to me before??
Ooh, I live in Denver and I’m making a note
Thank you so much for this comment! I needed to know where that photo was from!
Thanks for introducing me to Chun Wai Chan principal dancer!! Love seeing an Asian dude be a boss doin his thing!! – a fellow Asian person
Thank you for sharing the Hannah-Jones article. It’s very thought-provoking. I must say I am too Nigerian to make the same decision the writer made about her child’s education. I have lived long enough to learn that life is unfair, and we do not live in a meritocracy, and therefore one has to use every unfair advantage they have – looks, family name, connections, social class, educational background, etc. – to get ahead. As a Black person, the odds are already stacked against you from birth. So to me, it is simply unimaginable – and foolish, really – to enrol my child in a low-ranked school in Nigeria or anywhere else in the world when I have been blessed with the means to enrol them in a higher-ranked school. I have absolutely no interest in being a martyr who sacrifices her child’s future for ‘the greater good’.
I feel and hear you. I tried to thread the needle with my own kids- give them a rigorous academic experience with some racial, socio-economic diversity. I was deeply struck by this part of the article. “She then said she was glad she had not spent her early years in a white environment as many of the Black students at her high school had, because she’d developed a strong sense of her identity and had the confidence to speak up against the casual racism they sometimes experienced. Najya said that spending the last two years in classrooms full of privileged kids had taught her that these students weren’t smarter or even necessarily better behaved than the kids she had gone to school with before; they just had more.” I think the comment illustrates one of the costs of going to an academically rigorous school that is predominantly white…there are costs and advantages.
In San Francisco, the poorest ranked public schools get preferential treatment in University admissions, so some people, with the means, deliberately send their child to a terrible high school in order to get ahead. Go figure.
As someone who went to a not so greatly ranked public school system in Queens, it was great to learn about other cultures and to experience the true melting pot of Queens. That being said, my school was overcrowded and underfunded. It was also extremely unsafe. I witnessed multiple stabbings in the hallways, had to walk through a metal detector to enter, and kept to myself to stay out of the fray (gangs, drugs, etc.). I was one of the ambitious students who took classes at the local community college and paved a path for myself with no help from the adults around me. Sure, we got preferential college admissions as a school overall, but only about half of my graduating class even applied or knew to apply. We had one guidance counselor who only spoke English and Spanish (not too helpful in a school with too many languages spoken at home to name). There were resources available to parents who spoke English well enough to find them and with a schedule that would allow time to dedicate toward it. Most parents didn’t meet those criteria. Most students didn’t do their homework. Most teachers were near retirement or checked out or so green they didn’t know what to do. I would NEVER put my kids in the kind of environment I grew up in.
I feel the only way to “thread the needle with your own child” as the commenter above said so well, is to consistently make sure your child is up to speed at the level they are aiming (would probably have to employ creative testing and do a bunch of research) and then fill in the inevitable gaps with expert tutoring. If college prep tutors seems beyond essential for even private school kids, how can a public school child even hope to compete, realistically speaking? As the child of parents who denied me the opportunity to advance to college level in the 10th grade under the mistaken logic that I would miss out on relationships with kids my own age (I had zero friends at the time, but they didn’t acknowledge that), I found this article riveting. She should have known better that the schools are not going to educate her daughter – that’s the problem. She should have provided long-term heavy duty professional tutoring on the side – that way her child’s education is provided for and the school experience could still provide the black culture she wanted her child to experience. Her daughter is %100 correct to be angry at being used- ineffectually! – as a tool for her mother’s desires, no matter how well-intentioned. But I feel for her mom, she tried, she just failed and now needs to make amends to her daughter.
I read the article last week and sat with it for a long time. I’ve now been reading a lot of commentary online. Many/most people are talking about what they would do, or are doing, in a similar situation. Or what they think Hannah-Jones should have done. I understand that. But what I can’t stop thinking about are the children in her daughter’s schools who have no choices. They cannot move past those noisy and unregulated classrooms. They cannot hire tutors. They’re underprepared, so they will not score high enough to get into an NYC specialized high school. And worst of all, those children will not have the opportunity to understand what their minds can truly do, because they won’t be challenged in a calm, constructive way. How many geniuses are in those classrooms and what could they do for this world, for their families, for themselves? It’s an age-old inequity and it remains heartbreaking. That’s what Hannah-Jones is writing about. Not just her personal choice, but how education in this country fails so many. Families with choices and power – especially white families – must fight for all children. Her article is a reminder of that.
I’m sure this question has been asked before — and I’m half afraid to ask it because I spend enough time on Cup of Jo as it is — what are other favorite blogs do you read that have a similar sensibility, range of interesting and thoughtful topics, and/or active (and respectful) commentariat community? For example, I really enjoy Ask a Manager, although that’s very job focused, of course. I’d be particularly interested in blogs or lifestyle websites featuring interesting cultural perspectives, or by and for women of color. Thanks!
I’m fond of gofugyourself. It does not have a range of topics, fashion only. But the tone is lovely, written by women, and has a similar friendly comment section. Kottke is also not articles, but rounds up beautiful and interesting design/photography/embroidery!, etc from around the world.
I would love this too! I want to spend less time scrolling on reddit and find reading blogs additive to my life.
If you don’t have a Substack account, you should start there. It’s easy to peruse and build an algorithm around your interests, resulting in a broad source of reading material and community for yourself. And of course, make Big Salad your first subscribe! :)
Modern Mrs Darcy is book focused during the week but she does great Friday links too
Also Happier on Purpose is a great free Substack very similar to COJ
I subscribe to Anne Helen Peterson’s Patreon called Culture Study, which is full of smart interviews, great discussion threads, and supportive community!
Hi, would love some recommendations too! Love reading long-form content 😊
Consider The Sun magazine? It’s always high quality writing, interviews, short stories, poetry. The Readers Write section is one of my favorite things to read ever, better than a comment section because people write stories from their lives. I prefer the paper copy so I subscribe and get it in the mail every month, but I believe they also have an online subscription option. Also, super excellent on substack, and I love this one so much: E-Jane, by Jane Gindin, an ongoing chronicle beginning with the loss of her job with US AID, her bike trip around Europe, and her relocation from the US to The Netherlands, all while living and coping with long covid (a story for our times, for sure! ) Travel/ life / inspiration/ food, delight and wonder, all in one place. I am so impressed with her grit, and her writing ability. Good photos too.
I really love Leslie Stevens’ substack Morning Person!
Mona, I have had that same thought many times! I recently subscribed to Nicole Price’s substack which I LOVE: https://nicolemprince.substack.com along with Zinzi Thomas’s substack (her house was recently on COJ): https://treehouse.substack.com/ both have been a great source of pleasure to me :)
+1 for Culture Study (Anne Helen Peterson). Love the long-form articles, the podcasts, and the bonus content (I now subscribe). Thoughtful content on what can initially seem like frivolous topics, and great comments from readers.
As a veteran educator who has deliberately chosen to work in urban or schools considered “underperforming” AKA…diverse…Hannah Jones piece resonates. Here in Washington state, we also have school choice…if parents are able to transport. and the school accepts the transfer, a student can go to any school, not just in their home district…..and the result is…segregated schools. My district alone, as of 3 years ago, had 400 out of district students….! Some come because it is closer to parent work, or daycare…..but it really does create an elitist culture…not to mention traffic! Also…when you look at rankings of the “best ” schools…what neighborhoods do you find them in? Here in Washington, they are in communities full of tech industry workers and other college educated professionals. Test scores and the number of AP courses are only one, and honestly superficial measure. Thanks for an insightful article…..And regarding leggings…I gave my mom all my old Lularoes……she is considered the fashionista at her retirement community!
Reading the school choice article brought me to tears. I’ll be facing similar choices for my daughter as I aim to send her to public school in DC. I had an amazing public school education in Seattle, in a program that no longer exists because it is now seen as unjust to separate high achieving kids. I understand the reasoning but I also went to a typical school for a few years and was bored. I really don’t know the answer to the question of how to give every kid what they need. As for my own daughter, we have to hope for a good school lottery result and it stresses me out.
This is an interesting and unfortunately currently pay walled article by Matthew Yglesias about how he sends his child to a low income DC public school, for similar reasons as NHJ, and so far it is going fine. He and his wife were involved at the school and they kept a sharper eye on his child’s academic progress and got math tutoring earlier. DC public schools have honors tracking in middle school, where is son is currently doing well in honors math. https://www.slowboring.com/p/why-i-send-my-kid-to-low-income-urban
The answer is school choice. And break unions. Meritocracy for educators.
I had a crimped hair PERM in the late 80s/early 90s, and now as a mom myself I absolutely would not let my kid get a perm. I was a kid! Perms smell awful, just awful.
That small apartment is an absolute jewel box! Gorgeous
I don’t know about crimped hair, but I am forever eager for I-went-to-bed-with-wet-hair-and-now-have-one-weird-swoopy-fold-in-my-otherwise-straight-hair to become a hot new trend.
Same, Kipp, let’s make it happen. PS) finally confessed to my hairstylist that I’d never do anything else to my hair and she suggested a bit of mousse worked into the routes, air dry cream, and a tiny bit of hair oil on the ends (all pre-bedtime). In the morning, some fluffing with a tiny bit of additional hair oil. Life changer!
Same, Kipp! I say we rock it and let the fashion world catch up to our natural beauty ;)
Gift Article: NYT’s 100 BEST TV SHOWS OF THE 21st CENTURY Anyone wanna guess their top pick? I agree with it, though thought Better Call Saul and Arrested development scored too low. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2026/arts/television/best-tv-shows-21st-century.html?unlocked_article_code=1.D1E.DYdn.zHDpgE1CB8FX&smid=url-share
This was fun to read! I’ve only seen 16 of the shows (and only watched all of like 4 shows) so was taking notes on some new-to-me ones!
Those of us who subscribe to the terrific Hunter Harris’s Substack have been enjoying her comments on the NHJ New York Times piece.
I’ve long been fascinated with our public school system. The article is just heartbreaking on so many levels with an endless number of families getting the raw end of the stick. Our whole society suffers in the long run with failing, neglected and under-resourced schools. It seems there have been a myriad of efforts to try and innovate effective solutions and yet, the problem remains impossibly entrenched. In lighter news, I baked my first challah today. The golden color was gorgeous but the shape needs some tweaking. Still felt quite proud of myself! I found this substack article on Unsexy Compatibility very enlightening: https://ruhikashah.substack.com/p/unsexy-compatibility
Thanks for sharing this link! Enjoyed reading.
That NYT article on Nikole Hannah-Jones’ experience as an advocate and mother grappling with the public school system and her own decisions. Oof. It was an excellent read and landed close to home as a middle class and educated mother to a black Latina girl in Oakland’s public school system.
Thank you for sharing the Hannah-Jones article.
I laughed about the boys having three helpings each. Having raised three teen age boys, it was a challenge to feed them something nutritious, that was within budget, AND that filled them up. Trust me…there were never any leftovers.
Hell yeah bring back crimped hair! I’m also all for bringing back 80s leg warmers, maybe even teal eye shadow. Let’s just DO IT!
Please scroll down after enjoying that truly “great picture of a dog” to see several more great pictures of other dogs and a couple cats! Thanks, as always, for these wonderful lists each Friday! Hope everyone enjoys a great weekend!
Crimped hair can look good when done right! It might depend on the hair type, crimper tool, that sort of thing. The looks in the link seem very intentionally stark and eye-catching for a catwalk, in particular. Also, I’ve heard if you chew gum, it’s supposed to help the onion cutting tears. Not sure if this is true. Has anyone tried this?
I feel like everyone I speak to recently here in Philly has read the Hannah-Jones article. People have strong thoughts about it and they are not uniform. It’s an excellent article and I’m excited to listen to the podcast!
I’m on vacation but I’ve been obsessed with rearranging my apartment for the last few days. I live in 447 square feet (a studio) and have a Murphy bed. Eventually, I’m going to buy a bed frame and put the bed up (without the mattress), but that’s not financially feasible right now. My couch splits in half so I have some wiggle room there. Does anyone have any favorite small space design Instagram accounts they love? I’m open to suggestions.
Never Too Small, on YouTube!
@nvtsmall could have some inspo!
seconding this as someone who shares a 500-sq ft apartment and desperately wants a couch!!
https://www.instagram.com/nvtsmall/
Reading my Tea Leaves has a wealth of ideas (and she’s now moved to substack, but her blog is still up and great)
600sq ft and a baby! It’s more family focused, raising kiddos in small spaces but the tips and tricks Alison offers are applicable to anyone in small spaces. She also does some really great small space home tours!
I often use the pot pie recipe that I found right here on Cup of Jo in 2020, and it’s never let me down! https://cupofjo.com/2020/11/18/turkey-pot-pie/
my kids could eat that one every day. it’s a staple in my house. i save it for the cold months when i don’t mind turnign on the oven. (sadly not there yet in los angeles!)
Sarah, I’m in San Diego, and although I love summer and love that it continues here sometimes through January, I’d really like a weekend of cool weather to cook something yummy, or make some soup! Instead, we’re going to the beach lol.
Gosh I remember crimping my hair for my 7th grade school photo and thinking I was the most gorgeous creature that ever graced the earth.
💯🤩👸🏼
You were!
What a gift, to be that age and see yourself as gorgeous 💕
Good for her, not for me: cannot dissociate crimped hair from colorblock, leggings and high tops. Signed, a child of the 80s
Haha, crimped hair is the only one of those things I *wouldn’t* do! (I have a modified pixie, and if I crimped it I would look like Richard Simmons.) I love extreme hair moves that spark joy for their wearers, though, so if this is working for some, I agree with you – hey hey, good for them!
My wacky fashion math says that crimped hair can’t exist without those things but colorblock, leggings and high tops certainly can (and should) exist without crimped hair. What can I say, the 80s really imprinted its fashion on me for better or worse.
I thought that photo must be AI-generated. I love (and am relieved) that it is real 😊 The real world is still surprising and always more amazing! And the Hannah-Jones article is the headline of the week in my world. The nuance and vulnerability of her personal family story leave as much to consider as her original article on this topic did 10 years ago. And my heart swoons at the thought of crimped hair making a comeback. 💞
The absolute most effective thing I’ve found to stop myself from doomscrolling: writing postcards for Postcards to Voters https://postcardstovoters.org/ Just signed up for 10 when I found myself spiraling over SCOTUS’s latest this morning. It checks all the boxes (analog, low barrier to entry, easy to do on your own schedule) and has the benefit of doing something (however small) to lessen the doom.
THANK YOU, Marg! Just requested to be a writer. I’m in Georgia and am wringing my hands about our elections. Our republican candidate will almost certainly win the gubernatorial race, but I’m praying Ossoff keeps his Senate seat! This feels like a great and tangible way to help!
Update! Got approved pretty quickly and knocked out 18 during my kid’s gymnastics practice. Feels good to be actively helping the cause!
My weeknight go-to for a cold and rainy day has been a biscuit-topped skillet pot pie using the biscuit recipe from Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything. I like to rush it a bit by using a frozen chopped veggie medley, dicing some sautéed chicken, and making a quick pan sauce + cream for the gravy.
Regarding “Made me Laugh,” that’s so true. If you ever want to find the interesting, creative people in any city, befriend the waitstaff and receptionists. They’re generally the ones doing the coolest things. The receptionist at my hair salon was a tv writer in LA. She’s got the best stories.
The Ilia Skin Serum was on my wishlist for a year before I finally purchased it. Life changing. I do not like make-up on my skin at all and this stuff feels so nourishing. At the same time it evens out my skin just enough, gives me a little glow, and offers sun protection. I just put on a bit and did up my brows for a “surprise date” my husband is taking me on tonight. It’s been a while since he planned something and I am very excited.
Wow I love that small apartment! Growing up, I lived with my three siblings and both parents in a 610-square-foot apartment. It wasn’t decorated that nicely at all but it WAS designed so well, it really felt like a lot more space than it was. Design is everything!
Oh, that photo – Aescher Guesthouse! My husband & I hiked the mountain in July. This house was halfway up before we spent the night at Schafler. Breathtaking, and one of the best-tasting beers of my life after that uphill hike!
Crimped hair? What’s next—stirrup pants? Jeggings? No thanks.
Seriously, I am having terrible flashbacks to stirrup pants – my grandma thought they were the HEIGHT of fashion and spent years trying to get me to wear them. No way.
hahahahaha! Goodness, this brings back the memory of making my mother spend an hour on Christmas Eve doggedly crimping all of my voluminous hair. I bet her hand was numb by the end. I was indeed wearing stirrup pants! …on the upside, this could also bring back scrunchie socks…
The knees always went floppy in the stirrup pants!
I just saw stirrup pants at Old Navy yesterday! I texted friends “I didn’t wear these the first time around and I won’t be wearing them now!”
Right? Hair crimping is strictly for eigth graders. Or ok, the catwalk.
Thank you for linking the Hannah-Jones article. Very moving and thought provoking.
Yes, even though it’s heart wrenching I highly recommend reading it.
Crimped hair looks like a mistake. It’s like when you fall asleep on a lawn chair and get covered in hatch marks. Hard pass, haha.
Oh how cool, I’ve been to that exact little chalet in the main photo! It’s on the Berghaus hike in Switzerland. And I love a skillet chicken pot pie! One of the best weeknight recipes around.
Love your blog Joanna, I hope it always exists in some form.
Yyyeeeeessssss