Have a Relaxing Weekend.
What are you up to this weekend? The boys and I are going to our neighborhood block party, and I’m excited for Sharon Horgan’s new show, which comes out on Sunday. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few fun links from around the web…
Jon Hamm’s new series, American Hostage, looks compelling.
Chicken au poivre. (NYTimes gift link)
Reader-favorite Old Navy just launched a new sport activewear line called ON Sport, and it’s really good. You could live in this sweatshirt, and this green plaid looks so much more expensive than it is.
Updated Jane Austen titles, hahaha. (New Yorker)
What if online dating wasn’t awful? “In Ramy Youssef’s 2026 HBO comedy special, In Love, he jokes that every guy he knows who should be married is married, and every guy he knows who should be single… is single: ‘None of them got a job, phone always dead, one hoodie.’ Off screen, you can hear the audience cackle along knowingly.”
Seven-year-old chess prodigy Lucie Pichard casually checkmates her opponent.
How to give good advice? Talk less.
These paintings of water droplets are mesmerizing.
It’s a good day to restock your makeup bag: ILIA is 20% off site-wide (I swear by their mascara), and Tarte is offering $206 worth of makeup for $62.
I think about this 2016 blog post every month of my adult life. Should be required reading.
Finally, an enormous giveaway for Big Salad’s third birthday, open to all subscribers (free and paid), as a way to say thank you. xoxo
Plus, three reader comments:
Says Karin on five pick-me-ups: “Last night, apropos of nothing, my 11-year-old started talking about her ‘loose g-string.’ My husband and I looked at each other, stunned…until we realized she was talking about her stand-up bass in orchestra.”
Says Elisabeth on what’s your dream date: “A few months ago, our schedules aligned so my husband and I could donate blood together. It was really sweet how everyone there made a fuss to get us two beds next to each other. Granted it only took 15 minutes but we got free sausages afterward and made the most of that.”
Says Peach on five pick-me-ups: “Stephen Colbert once asked Keanu Reeves what happens to us when we die, and he responded, ‘I know that the ones who love us will miss us.‘” Adds SanFrannie: “Stephen Colbert’s musing on his mother’s death captured my feelings perfectly: ‘I know it may sound greedy to want more days with a person who lived so long, but the fact that my mother was 92 does not diminish it; it only magnifies the enormity of the room whose door has now quietly shut.’”
(Photo by Kirstin Mckee/Stocksy.)
Comments
81 commentsI think that 2016 blog post regularly too! Now I know it’s been 10 years – my sons are 13 and 10 and still get bedtime books (as long as they want them, right?). Except, now, I find myself repeatedly reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid and truly wanting to slap Greg Heffley in the face. Weekly, I tell my boys, “Greg isn’t a good friend.” Despite Greg’s terrible approach to friendship, the teacher encouraged me to keep going, “He is so obnoxious – yes – BUT the vocabulary in the book is very, very good. My sixth graders still benefit from reading it.” I hope so…
The look on his face when he walks away after being check-mated by a pirouetting child, lol! What a fun match that must have been!
Great gifts
As a kid, I was good enough at chess to win “best girl” awards but not the overall ranked awards, so the chess clip really made me smile.
What a cool idea! Can’t wait to see who wins!
Molly Baz also has a chicken au poivre recipe that is sooooo delicous. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEYN3Ek9J44 I use skin on chicken thighs and skin on chicken breasts rather than the bone-in versions she uses in the recipe and it’s still incredible. Will have to compare notes with this NYT version. And could any PNW residents advise which of ON Sport items could carry me through the fall/winter/spring in Seattle? New resident here…
For what kinds of activities? Fall/winter/spring are mostly mild, layering is an art form and you’ll want water-resistant/waterproof outer layers and footwear. I live by Uniqlo’s Heat-Tech base layers!
P.S. And welcome! It’s the greatest!!!
Hi Andreea! In case you return to the comments: mainly chasing after my kids- lots of park and playground time, neighborhood walks, local breweries. Just day to day casual mom- think school pick up via walking in Seattle. As a former NYC and Chicago resident… heat-tech is my secret to cold weather comfort.
Vessi is the secret to comfortable playground days in the PNW! And it’s a Canadian brand if you want to show us a little love in these troubled times…
After 10+ years of reading Cup of Jo, these products feel like old friends 😂❤️ Would absolutely love to welcome a few of them into my home!
My junior high orchestra teacher once shouted out over the din of students tuning their instruments, “Violins adjust your g strings!”
Ha! My band director once said, on microphone, as an introduction to our performance, “the anals of history” instead of the “annals of history.”
The little girl playing (*dominating) in chess made me smile SO much. I want to embody the confidence, chill and straight playfulness she exudes!
For the book Go, Dog. Go!, I’ve always felt a distinct, almost ominous undercurrent in the writing—partly driven by the blatant hat misogyny. Beyond that, I tend to read the recurring interaction between the two dogs as a form of stranger roleplay. They definitely seem to share a deeper, more complicated history than a simple, superficial exchange like, “Do you like my hat?”
I have quite a few friends who come to me for advice. I usually ask, “What do you *want* me to say?” Because that often reveals the answer they were looking for.
Hmm I would find this dismissive & impatient. As if the friend can’t be bothered providing their thoughtful perspective.
I think it depends on the tone. This is the context of a larger conversation. Other peoples lives are their own to live and giving advice is mostly about helping them find what’s right for them, not telling them what I would do.
Joaquina, Certainly this advice (and all advice) comes with the caveat of knowing your friends and doing what you are comfortable. I have started employing something very similar to anon. but I phrase it “do you have a secret something you wish someone would say?” honestly- people don’t really take advice they don’t already sort of agree with- but if someone comes to you, they’re probably seeking support, or empathy, or a wake up call, support to do a brave thing, or a hard thing, freedom to do the easy thing even- people already know what they’re going to do- and getting them to see that you understand that and want to be with them in it- is magic. it sounds like “what do you want me to say” would not resonate with you, and I can see how it might not resonate with others but its not exactly the words- its everything that it represents.
I ask “do you want advice or do you want me to listen” and “should I be brutally honest here or would you like me to just be a supportive friend”. They usually get totally confused and then I sa something like “you already know what to do/what you want, you just need the confidence to do it.”
Lol it makes me think of B.J. Novak’s short story in One More Thing, “The Girl Who Gave Great Advice.” She starts by asking “What does your gut say?” Then after they answer she leans in and says, “But what does your HEART say?” And sometimes mixes it up by starting with heart and ending with gut, until it backfires when she asks what their heart says twice in row.
My best friend in college was a self-proclaimed meathead back then; as much as he cared he just couldn’t talk about feelings. Whenever I went to him with a tortured soul asking what to do, his advice was the same: “Be the tiger.” Be brave, be assertive, do what you already know you need to do. By the time we graduated he’d designed a tiger tattoo for me, which reminds me to this day that I am fierce.
that is so beautiful, Meredith!
The Tarte set was only 52.70 – it applied a “Joanna” code?! Thanks!
I am always surprised to see another Bonnie in here and at first glance I think, what did I write?? Wait, what? Oh… Not me.
I once shared the Keanu quote with a male colleague and not only did he profoundly not get it, he made sure to disparage the quote, too. So, quote = litmus test for who I’d like to hang out with
I don’t get the quote! Am I lame? I guess he just means we have no idea what will happen?
Joanna, I’m a subscriber to Big Salad and it says only subscribers can comment. I can comment on your older posts and it does say on my profile that I am a paid subscriber. Wondering if there is a limit to number of comments on a post and it has exceeded it. I do see lots of comments. :)
Looking into this! So sorry for the glitches! Xoxo
Same here!
Yep, not a paid subscriber so I cannot comment. Thanks for looking into this :)
Hi! For both paid and free subscribers, you may need to be logged into your Substack account to leave a comment. If logging in doesn’t work for you, could you please email newsletter@cupofjo.com? We won’t draw a name until Wednesday… Thanks for reading Big Salad! xo
RE: The dating article, I know two “date him” guys in SF and DC, both are gentle souls who want to be caring partners and fathers. I wish I had women to set them up with but I don’t know any single women!
My sister!!
Joanna’s response made me think we should have pop up singles meet ups in various cities and the qualifier is that you are or are friends with/vetted by someone who loves COJ. It would bring such good people together!
I feel like “Date Him CoJ Edition” is in t he pipeline 🤣
I know many amazing single women in DC!
What about CoJ classifieds in Big Salad? Just for singles we know/endorse. Thinking of how Mindy Isser has a section : https://mindyisser.substack.com/p/bridging-the-momchild-free-friend?r=ddm&utm_medium=ios Obviously you have so many subscribers it could get a bit crazy, but maybe one region each week? Find these people some love!! I have a buddy who I would immediately nominate in the Pacific Northwest.
Omg I have a lovely single friend in D.C.! Beautiful, hilarious, really smart, progressive. She’s 40. How old is your single guy?
The problem with DC men is that they never want to leave DC – no matter how nice they are lol
I’m in the market for new games to play with my school-age kids and adult friends. What are you playing these days?
Sushi Go, Wingspan, Cribbage, Yatzee, Qwixx, DroPolter, Pandemic, Seven Wonders, Power Grid, Banana grams, Ligretto. A mish mash of games in intensity, strategy, and time. Have fun!
Herd Mentality!!! It’s really great for all ages.
Sorry! has been on heavy rotation in my family. We also just picked back on on Scrabble, and will bust out Qbits soon too. But Sorry! has been so much fun that we bought the travel version to take with us wherever we go.
Rummikub (tip – get a small dark nylon popup trashcan and put the tiles in there and they are so easy to clear the finished game and mix … No flipping them all over and moving around on the table)… Skyjo, the card game Tic, Don’t Go Boom, Quiddler, Five Crowns…
Happy Salmon is really fun! Out Foxed for younger school age kids. UNO, Sorry!, Stack Nabbit, and Moose, Match, Mayhem are also fun.
Stephen says that quote when he was on Anderson Cooper’s grief podcast, “All There Is.” It is the most moving conversation. Another wonderful episode of that podcast is about Andrea Gibson who, as she was suffering from cancer, wrote, “My love. I was so wrong. Dying is the opposite of leaving. When I left my body, I did not go away. That portal of light was not a portal to elsewhere, but a portal to here. I am more here than I ever was before. I am more with you than I ever could have imagined. So close you look past me when wondering where I am. It’s Ok. I know that to be human is to be farsighted. But feel me now, walking the chambers of your heart, pressing my palms to the soft walls of your living. Why did no one tell us that to die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive?” She passed away and her partner now says, “Andrea allegedly died, because who even knows what death means.” Such beautiful and unique perspectives on the afterlife.
All There Is! Love it so much. Talk about guests making selves vulnerable. So touching. The drummer from Blink 182 (Travis Barker) – you don’t necessarily think that someone with that public persona could feel so deeply. Really good!
Oh my goodness thank you for sharing that is incredible
The Ilia mascara makes my eyes itch and water. Just me?
omg same. why everybody loves it? worst mascara ever
Nope! I just bought it and it was awful on my eyes all day!!! :(
Some other mascaras do that to me, but not Ilia. 🤷♀️
I believe it also smells like flownase !!
I was also not impressed with ilia mascara.
If anyone needs incentive to check out the ON Sport line, the pieces made of Bounce Fleece fabric are very good dupes of Spanx Air Essentials (IYKYK) for a fraction of the price. I couldn’t believe it when I felt the fabric in store, and they’ve held up just as well.
Just wanted to say thank you for all the beautiful content! I have been a reader since about 2010 and have been grateful for the companionship with everything from getting my heart ready for my mom’s last weeks to enjoying the best falafel in Paris. (I don’t have substack because I got nervous after a bit of a hack situation, but maybe I’ll get my nerve up again soon!) Many thanks – your kindness comes through❤️
This means so much to me, thank you!!
“Madison” from updated Jane Austen titles made me laugh out loud in its simplicity :)
Beautiful comment Peach. I miss my mum so much and as the years she has gone I miss her more! I’m lucky she visits me in my dreams, as I also greedily asked her to do while she was in her last hours of Earth life. Kindly she does come to my dreams and in it she creates “After Life Air BnBs.” In these Afterlife Air BnBs we are all there and hanging out and she is always proud of them. She reminds me gently before I wake up they can’t last but she will be back. It’s so comforting. I also asked her to look over my daughters and once when my eldest was in hospital I dreamily saw her there near her bed. It feels so real so for me it is xx
Loved Karin’s comment. About 4 years ago, my then 21 year old daughter was in school learning to be an EEG technician(the person that puts all the wires on your head when they need to check your brain waves). She used to call me to tell me about her hospital clinical days. Mom, I did 2 hook-ups today!! I’m getting faster! By the end of next semester I need to be able to get 3 hook-ups done in a day! What great news, I would choke out to her, so very proud of my girl that had previously vowed she would never go to school but inside slightly cringing.
I love that! I love hearing people talk about what they’re learning, and recognising their improvements! Bravo to you and your daughter.
It looks like you can only comment on the big salad post if you’re a paid subscriber, unless I’m missing somethinf obvious. As a free subscriber, I see a this post is for paid subscribers box at the bottom and no comments.
We fixed this!
I can now see the comment box but when I click into it I get an error message that says comments are for subscribers only.
We have checked every box on the back end to allow everyone to comment so this is frustrating! I’m getting in touch with Substack to troubleshoot, please stay tuned!
Omg I want to hug you for that post. It is both so hilarious and profound!!! I will never read go dog go the same way.
I am dizzy with anticipation for this weekend that includes both Talk Like a Pirate Day and the start of Fat Bear Week.
My husband doesn’t share my enthusiasm for Talk Like A Pirate Day!
Love love love Block Shop. I must have the peacock table cloth.
What a round-up of comments! Karin’s had me laughing out loud (much needed, thank you!), Elizabeth’s warmed my heart (I can definitely relate to turning something rather routine into special time with my husband), and Peach’s had me feeling teary (oof, I miss my mom). <3
The link to the 2016 blog post does not seem to work? Thanks!
I think we crashed her site, it will likely work tomorrow after the initial wave of CoJ readers haha :)
I miss Ugly Volvo. “A 10-month-old’s Letter to Santa” got me through many a hard day and night. Thanks for the refresh!
That clip of Keanu Reeves always makes me cry. Even just reading about it sends chills. It’s so well said. I haven’t seen the Stephen Colbert clip, but that is also poignant.
Karin’s comment had me cackling aloud.
I’ve searched high and low and cannot find the blog post you shared (maybe from a guest author?) about grief. There’s a line where she says she learned of a friends loss and her mom told her to call right away, before she loses her nerve. Does anyone know what I’m talking about? TIA!
Yes! https://cupofjo.com/2025/07/21/how-to-help-kids-who-lost-their-parents/
Oh I love that blog post about Go Dog, Go. Since I first read it (I believe thanks to COJ), I’ve changed my reading of GDG (which I otherwise love) with my kids- instead of “Good by! Good by!” I always end their little interactions with her saying “I do not care! I love it!” I’m so appreciative that somebody noticed that and gave me the opportunity to correct it for my kids!
Please please share a link to the post!!
Oh I get it! It’s the link that crashed the website 😄 Please ignore my comments