7 Ways to Make Back-to-School Fun (For Real)
During my parenting career, I’ve ushered my children through back-to-school season 12
times. That’s 12 nervous bedtime cuddles, 12 first-day-of-school breakfasts, and 12
squeezy hand-holds on the walk to school. Over the years, I’ve learned that a little festivity can make a big difference. Here are a few of the tips I’ve picked up, to make things more relaxed and fun for everyone…
1. Bake morning muffins. I challenge you to name a yummier weekday breakfast than warm muffins. We’ve made these zucchini ones (with chocolate chips) a gazillion times, and I already got the ingredients for these apple cider muffins, yummmm.
2. Consider a cake for the night before. Ever since the boys were little, we’ve served cake the night before the first day of school. The boys pick one out from our local bakery, and I light candles for them to blow out. Even as they’ve grown older, it has helped nerves feel a bit more like excitement.
3. Browse for school clothes. When I was growing up, going back-to-school shopping was a highlight of my year. Driving to the outlets with my mom and sister, while listening to ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’? Nothing better. Nowadays, Quince has excellent kids’ stuff, including cotton sweaters, piqué polos, and colorful backpacks. And how cute is this dress?
4. Stock up on socks. You know those kid habits that drive you crazy but you know you’ll secretly miss once they leave the nest? My list includes my boys’ socks scattered ev-er-y-where. To keep everyone supplied, we get a bunch of white socks for Anton and black socks for Toby. (Bonus: Giving each kid a different color makes laundry much easier.)
5. With little ones, read The Kissing Hand. When two-year-old Toby first started preschool (how tiny was he?), he was beyond nervous. A CoJ reader named Tracey recommended this wonderful children’s book. In the story, a raccoon mom soothes her anxious son as he prepares for his first night of school — kissing his paw, to help him feel brave. It’s such a sweet classic, and helped remind Toby that I was always rooting for him.
6. Give teens Apple Gift Card. Now that Anton is 13 and Toby is 16, we are in full-fledged Teenage Land. The boys have one foot in adulthood and one foot in childhood — case in point: Toby slammed his bedroom door at night, then shouted “Aren’t you going to cuddle me, at least?!” — so I’m always looking for safe ways to give them more freedom. I’m giving them each Apple Gift Card this fall, so they can buy (or save up for) AirPods and accessories, as well as favorite games, TV shows, music, movies, you name it. *Sponsored mention
7. Put a friend on speed dial. Do you ever get weepy on the first day of school? Last fall, I walked past an elementary school one morning and spotted a crowd of parents at the gate, standing on tip toes, trying to get even a glimpse of their little ones heading in through the big front doors. The love of a parent! Enlist a friend — ideally, one with older kids, who’s already been through it all — to give you a pep talk, if you need one. And remember: You’re doing a great job.
Thoughts? What would you add? I’d love to hear…
P.S. Toby’s very first day of school ever, and the phrase that finally helped soothe my kids’ separation anxiety.
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128 commentsTransitioning back into a daily routine after summer always takes a bit of time for our family. To make the shift gentler for my youngest, I like to set up a short quiet-time hour with some free preschool worksheets or coloring tasks while we talk about what to expect at school. What little traditions or games help your kids feel comfortable during that first week?
Similar to number 2 – I’m in a bit of an ice cream making era, so this year we celebrated going back to school with a “back to school ice cream”. I made a vanilla base and added crushed chocolate hobnobs and alphabet sprinkles. It was a huge hit!
Many years ago, when I was having trouble transitioning from half-day Kindergarten (with a caring, organized teacher) to full-day First Grade (with a more disorganized “free-range” teacher). My mom’s sister suggested that she pick up small, inexpensive toys or doo-dads, to gift me one at the end of each school day. I remember my aunt saying, “That way, she has a little something to look forward to.” Think stocking-stuffers or things sold on blister-cards. Nothing fancy or pricey. And yeah, it really took the edge off for me. It was also a reminder that there was life *outside* classroom hours. It must have worked…I made it through First Grade, all the way to grad school! :D One time I got an ArrowCopter…and boy, I freakin’ LOVED that toy! (and I’m happy to say they’re STILL being made almost six decades later!)
Another thing comes to mind: Around 1984, PBS re-aired a series of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood episodes from 1979 dealing with back-to-school anxieties youngsters might have about attending Kindergarten or First Grade. I was nervously getting ready for my first day of grad-school when this came on, and you know what? It helped! I actually felt less anxious! From that moment on, Fred had a permanent spot in my personal “Cool Folks Club.” I think it’s currently streaming on YouTube, so he’s there if you need him.
My kids are neurodivergent and both struggle with school. We try as hard as we can (diff schools, placements, all the festivities we can think of) and it can still be rough. Just a reminder for those struggling that sometimes nothing you do will make it magic (or even just neutral). You’re doing your best!
Wow! That is a great idea!! Love it & am going to try it- thank you
Jana, I apologize. I meant to post my “great idea” reply about the Donut Day below. That said, I have one who is neurodivergent and I’ve lived this for years and years. Thank you for sharing your encouraging message – you are so right! Also, what helps my neurodivergent one is saying, this feels hard for other kids too, you aren’t alone in feeling this way and it isn’t always going to feel like this. Then a hug if he’s up for it. Sending a hug and that message to all the parents and kids and everyone who had to adapt to a new change. 💕
We’re in the same boat, Jana. It’s painful to see neurotypical life moments celebrated in particular ways that have been out of reach for us–even “just” the tradition of hanging out at the neighborhood pool over the summer or playing outside, and that is just not our family. You’re not alone <3
We do Donut Day the day before the first day of school to help adjust to the new schedule. We get up & do morning routine just like for school, then grab backpacks and get in the car to be on time for school. But instead of driving over for class, we head to the special donut place nearby. After 14 weeks of summer vacation, that first early morning can be a doozy, so this is literally a sweet reward for all of us. Credit to some smart mom who posted about this on IG years ago.
This is brilliant!
For the littles, “Marco Goes to School” by Roz Chast was a lifesaver for my anxious preschooler (who is now about to leave for college!). It helped us make inside jokes about starting school every time some well-meaning adult asked if he was excited to start kindergarten. ‘Skool? What is skool? Can I eat it?”
The zucchini recipe was delicious. Made it today but in a 9×9 as a snack cake. Baked 350 for exactly 20 minutes. I didn’t have chocolate chips to add and didn’t even miss them. I think the almond flour gives it a special taste and richness. So so good.
The Kissing Hand! Such a dear read. And I think I may now be the one who needs it most!
We host a neighborhood-wide popsicle party in the street on the first day of school, around 6pm. I text all the families I know in the neighborhood and tell them “no one isn’t invited” and ask them to bring anyone. I put out a big cooler with trashy popsicles and healthy popsicles and everyone stands around chatting or going down our front yard slide, and it makes the first day of school feel like a party.
I love this so much! Making great memories happen.
My youngest starts school one month from today!! I am ready and not ready. But also, there’s a lot of huge family and household and life admin coming down the pipe and I know I will be booked and busy. Trying to remember to take time to do things I like, too.
I think it is helpful to remind my kids and myself that even if the first day isn’t perfect, it is one day and there will be a whole year to figure things out. I used to be a first grade teacher and my VERY first day of teaching was a mess. At one point I was trying to recruit the custodian into my room to help since things were not doing as planned. The kids left and I felt terrible. In my mind I had ruined their entire first grade year. A wise teacher suggested I just do day 1 again the next day. Day 1(repeat) was so much more wonderful. I was able to add the little touches that I wanted to and realized that I could always start again. If day 1 would have gone perfectly I wouldn’t of had a funny story to tell. It is a lesson that I have to return to again and again.
I prepare a countdown calendar with extra, fun supplies. I use a shoe organizer on the back of her bedroom door and put small things in envelopes or wrapped in brown paper. We do a 10 day countdown and she gets things to be a little excited about. The mini stapler to start 5th grade was a big hit. Sometimes it is the fancier version of something off the school supply list. A bracelet or scrunchie… It helps get the sleep schedule in line, too. You can open a surprise if you are ready for bed at the school year bed time. The day before is a spa-like afternoon, nails, facials, relaxation. The morning of I wake her up reciting the same board book I have recited to her since she was born and then she gets ready and we hang out in the driveway and take pictures until the bus comes. She starts Middle School this year though. I feel like the patience for my shenanigans will fade quickly. Although, all her friends still ride the bus to our house on the last day of school because they love the “finishline”. Running through crepe paper streamers and a rain of silly string still gets them excited and has turned into a whole cupcakes and lemonade celebration.
Oh my dear heart! All of these, and all of the love that motivates and animates them. The night before the first day of school, we read a blessing to our daughters. Thank you goes to Sarah Bessey for the idea; we changed some of her language to be bit more neutral. We follow it up with some leftover fourth of July sparklers! https://artandtheology.org/2022/08/14/a-blessing-for-back-to-school-by-sarah-bessey/ We also all ride to school together on the first day, whereas I am the primary dropoff/pickup person the rest of the year. I love all of these ideas and will borrow so many of them. Thank you COJ and little Joeys (or whatever the community calls itself <3, I guess jojos could be fun too like the TJs cookies ;) — help me, I can't stop)!!
We made a happy-end-of-summer-back-to-school chocolate cake tonight, thank you for the inspiration!
These are so sweet! I don’t know if this qualifies as fun, but as a longtime first grade teacher, my first-day tip would be: ALSO go somewhere! Even if you are a stay-at-home parent, somehow show them you also have places to be. Often the littles who have the hardest time are the ones that just *know* mom is at home without them, where they feel very strongly that they, too, should be. Maybe even practice leaving the house without them in the days or weeks leading up to it. If they know you’re all leaving the proverbial nest together (and ahem, you can do a fakeout and go back home), and you’re not just there waiting for them, it can take the edge off.
We had recently moved to Rhode Island and decided to take our two girls for a walk on the beach the evening before the first day of school to get the jitters out. When we arrived at the beach it was magical! The beach was full of families soaking in the golden hour before the chaos of a new school year. It was so relaxing and we felt like we had found our community.
In our family of three (mom, brother, sister), we each write a letter of encouragement to the kids starting school. Big brother usually has some sparse, but well meaning advice for little sister, sister is an excellent cheerleader, and it ends up being a place for me to mark milestones for them. I’ve saved every letter since preschool, and will give it to them when they graduate!
WHY did I not think of the coloured sock trick? One husband, 3 teenage sons later, I feel it is too late. I have wasted so many hours.
My kids are going into 10th and 12th grade and I am definitely the one having the hardest time with back to school! They are both excellent students and really work hard at school but this year I am forcing a few more missed Fridays because I need a little more time to celebrate and have fun with them. It is the most heartbreakingly wonderful gift to watch kids grow up.
Teachers get back-to-school anxiety, too! I teach 10th, 11th, and 12th grade English classes. It helps me to remember that the kids are nervous, too, and that we all will benefit from gentle transitions. ♥ Nature helps! I take students on a nature walk-and-write activity on Day 1 to help ease all our jitters. Students are more comfortable meeting/chatting on a walk then making eye contact at a table. An after-school walk with your kids might be a great option after all the sitting! It’s also a great idea if you have neurodiverse kids or kids who struggle with the huge transition to go to school a few days before it starts to meet/chat with teachers and map out their daily route to classes. Sending you all love as the school year! Remember that your kids’ teachers are already holding your kids in their hearts and are planning how to help the students feel like they belong!
Love all of these. We draw a heart on the back of our hands – sort of like an extension of the kissing hand, but carried with you through your day. We’ve been doing it since the kids were in a 3s class and each year I’ve wondered if it will be the last that all of them want it. My oldest is entering 6th and, though the hearts he requested in 4th and 5th got smaller, he still wanted them! Not sure what this year will bring in a month… I learned this from someone, and wish I could remember who. Definitely helps with first day jitters, but something they ask for on a particularly hard morning occasionally throughout the school year, too.
We always had a special back to school dinner on day 1. My son got to pick the meal (usually spaghetti and meatballs), and there was always a special cake for dessert.
We call the night before the first day “school years eve,” make a cake, and let my only child pick the dinner menu. I make enough for leftovers the next night, so we have an easy dinner she likes on the first day of school. We also go out for ice cream as soon as I pick her up. I’m a teacher, and I do the same things for myself when I go back (minus the branding of “school years eve”). Something about expecting a really comforting dinner and a quiet night at home makes first day nerves easier!
I love this :)
I think we should normalize buying things for children (and ourselves) when we need them. My kids do not get new backpacks, clothes, and shoes until they need them. Our back to school shopping is only to replenish school supplies. For future generations, it is more important now more than ever to focus on sustainability and reduce waste. I love all the other ideas though.
After three years with the same school bag, I caved this summer because my kid’s school bag had become disgusting. But I fully agree, we don’t really do new stuff for the school year, we repair and replace as we go. I help organize a clothing swap at the beginning and end of each year at my kid’s school and it’s where I get 80% of his wardrobe.
True – unless a backpack is broken, what’s the point of replacing it? And some school clothes will fit in September. Side note – do kids return to school earlier in The US? Ours don’t start back til September so the holidays have just begun!
Isn’t that what back to school shopping is? A chance to see what still fits and what you need more of? My son has grown through 3 sizes of pants this year. Just bought round 4 for the school year. I’ve stored the grown out pairs for his younger brother. We had a shop through the archives this past week for the younger one.
I got our kids Land’s End backpacks in first grade. They used them until they started high school, and probably could have continued to use them except the patches we chose from Land’s End when we got them were probably a bit too childish for high schoolers.
Any other teachers having back to school anxiety? I truly love my job so much and will be overjoyed to see my students and coworkers but at the same time having a bit of pre-grief around saying goodbye to the relaxed and well-rested summer version of myself for the next ten months…also I am not a morning person and our start time of 7:30 a.m. is also giving me some major dread as it does every year and I wonder why I haven’t gotten better at it over all the years haha
Hi piper!! I’m a former teacher and I had to check in every morning at seven fifteen am! Was horrid and it gave me so much anxiety. Stay i’m at home mom now and i’m still not a morning person!!
thank you for being a teacher 🩵🩵🩵
I always get 2 weeks into the new school year, look around and go “Oh, all the other kids have new bags and clothes and haircuts. Did I miss the memo?” Like it’s new to me. I never seem to remember, but my kid hasn’t ever noticed either so I guess it’s fine! We get around to doing all of those things sometime or other. On another note – Joanna, I’d love to learn more about what your boys have in terms of devices/gadgets for listening to music and staying in contact. Do they have smart watches? Alexas or music apps on phones? We’re thinking of what to get our 10 year old :)
We just got these delightful old school phones for my11 year old and his crew. Only approved numbers can call in. It comes with an adorable phone manners booklet: https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/tin-can-review/
Well of course my instinct is to shout NOOOOOO STOP THIS IT IS STILL SUMMER!!!!! Because I forget that school is done differently elsewhere. NYC kids go back Sept. 10th so I’ll circle back after Labor Day because summer is truly glorious and I refuse to give much thought to the unrelenting, hectic school year while life is still so blissfully summery and luxurious. (I have a full time job that is very busy this time of year and it yet does not impact my views on summer!!) PS, Autumn is the worst season.
Great timing! School in LA starts next week and my 7 year old is having a tough during his last full week of summer. He said he wishes he could stay in summer camp year round. On Monday, he had a big meltdown when I got him from camp and lost it about everything. I could see the end of summer was hard even if he didn’t recognize that’s the cause of these outsized emotions. He even slept walked and peed in the hallway (which he does at the end of every school year). Little rituals are a great way to smooth the transition. I’m going to let me kid pick the muffin flavor.
My girl is entering 8th grade (HOW did that come so fast?) and had a rough year in 7th. She’s grown a lot, (inside and out), but I still worry about possibly another dicey year…middle school truly is the WORST! She is such an awesome kid, I sooo wish I could make things better in that school space where I have almost no influence at all. Probably managing my own emotions and expectations is the most helpful thing I can do for her. And make those muffins. Going out for almond flour right NOW.
Feeling this EXACTLY for my son. 8th grade! WHAT? How did this happen? Also I HATE the Chromebook.:( STUPID SCREENS!!!!
Hi, Kim. Mom of 3 girls here, and former middle school teacher. You can exhale. Seventh grade is a unique and special hell for girls. There will be other tough times ahead, but none as f#cking nebulously miserable as 7th grade.
The Kissing Hand makes me cry EVERY SINGLE TIME
My kids are 6 and 10 and are not early risers, like their dad. A couple of things work for us: they sleep in their clean clothes for the next day, so they can just roll out of bed, use the bathroom, put on their shoes and be in the bathroom in 15 minutes – and it often is that short! I also made the decision to give them breakfast in the car – it means I’m not hustling them to eat – we can drive the five minutes to school, get a good parking spot, and have a peaceful few minutes, during which I tell myself that 3 bites and a gulp of milk is better than nothing. I use a visual timer app, I think it’s called Little Timer on my iPad. it has an egg and a circle graphic, and when time is up a cute animal pops out – and you can take pics of their favorite stuffies to pop out. I am trying to use a visual to-do list more frequently (on post-its on letter size paper in a plastic sleeve from the dollar store – super easy! They use a whiteboard marker to check things off.) I keep notepaper in the car (I’m so not this person but I got a notepad on Shutterfly with my name, phone and email on it) to write any teacher notes needed in the car. Summer break has been fun but I hate the disruption to our routine – we start next Weds and I can’t wait!
The personalized note paper for the car is an AMAZING idea! Stealing this :)
Thank you for these ideas! My four year old grandson is starting pre-K next week, and is definitely not an early riser – or eater. My daughter is worried about how he will cope. I told her he will figure it out, as we all did, but I’m glad to have a couple of suggestions for her.
The Kissing Hand is the sweetest, most wonderful book! I’ve read it the night before every first day of school, starting at kindergarten, and still read it to all three of my kids (ages 20, 16, and 13). I’m usually crying by page two while they’re all laughing at their emotional mama – I know they secretly love it!
I love all of these ideas. We always take pictures on the first morning before school, which feel exciting and special. Question for the cup of Jo hive mind – my oldest often leans negative and will say he doesn’t want school to start/hates school. How do I help him go focus on the exciting parts – like seeing his friends every day – and still validate his feelings? All tips appreciated.
Rach I’m sorry I don’t have tips but can say I’m right there with you, solidarity!
It is so hard to watch our kids/teens struggle! As hard as it might feel, I would try to honestly let go of an agenda to help him focus on the exciting parts and just try to validate his feelings and let him know that you get it. Often, when kids feel heard/understood, that starts to create that little bit of space to start noticing the other, more positive possibilities. If that doesn’t naturally flow, if it were me, I’d try to bring it up separate from when my kid was talking about the negative – either with humor (how great is it going to be not to be around your younger siblings arguing every day?). perhaps at a neutral/calm time, you can engage by asking if it’s okay to focus on some of the positive aspects together? Best wishes for all! My daughter is 100% a kid who needs to be validated in the negative before she can connect with the positive, so I very much get how hard this can be.
I would try to find out if there are legitimate issues at school that are causing your son to not want to go. My 4 year old recently revealed that he was repeatedly teased and excluded at preschool. I feel so bad that I kept making him go for two years even though he resisted mightily every morning. But, I had no idea what was happening and he didn’t have the vocabulary or the understanding to tell me earlier. We are going to homeschool this year.
There is an excellent book for children that lean negative called “what to do when you grumble too much”. Helped my 11 year old (and me) in reframing negative responses. It’s a workbook that you can do together.
Our daughter was the same when she started school last year, it’s a big change. But as the school year wore on she stopped saying she didn’t want to go and gradually started to love it. Hopefully it will get better in time, but it is so hard every morning!
Kathleen is very wise. Make sure you are validating the child’s feelings before you give a thought to but your friends/activities/so fun! etc. My son would rather be home too, so this is a recurring conversation at our house.
Our friends turn their minivan into an ice cream truck. They hang a sign with the menu and play the ice cream truck music as they delivery ice cream bars to everyone’s front yards.
This is amazing!!
School is fully back in swing here in the south, and I get teary eyed thinking of my kids making friends, sharing school lunches, figuring out where the bathrooms are…not because I’m sad they’re growing up (I love how they’re getting more and more independent and fun to talk to!!) but because I get nostalgic for that time of MY life lol. I loved school and honestly thrived there, and I have all these hopes and dreams that they will love it too! I also get misty eyed when I drive through town during school pick up/drop off time (which ranges from 7-9am in the morning to encompass elementary all the way to high school) for this same reason – I think about generations of parents and kids waking up early, getting their shoes on, heading out the door, getting on the bus/bike/in the car, homework in hand, ready to face the day! And I think about how great school is for our kids and our society, and how many people and institutions come together every single day to get our kids safely to school. It honestly is so beautiful.
i love this! i tear up at buses driving around the sacred cargo of our community’s kids … it really is so beautiful!
We have a tradition of having pancakes at a local restaurant on the first day and last day of school each year. I have a senior this year, so this will his last pancake meals while under our roof, and I think i’m having some feels about that. I might have to drive to his school next fall and take him out for pancakes on his first day of class if he will let me, i’m not sure i’m ready for the tradition to be over yet!
Our three kids started school already. One of them (9 y/o) is having a tough time transitioning home. She likes school, but often falls apart once home. Because her school starts/ends so early, we have 6 hours together before bedtime. Perhaps we’re spending TOO much time together?? Any tips/tricks for transitioning to home (sports haven’t started yet).
My kids need to decompress when they get home. No homework, no pressure from me to engage, etc. Just let her come home and flop while you give her some space – get her own snack, watch a show, go out to ride her bike, etc. By dinner time my kids are in a better place to engage. Good luck!
Sammy, when he was little, Toby used to cry when he first saw me after school (whether it was right after school or later when I got home from work). And I realized it’s because I’m his safe place. He would hold it together all day — and liked school overall — but then when he saw me, all the built-up stress from any worries/hard moments/etc would come out. He could just relax and let it out. Once I realized that, I would just cuddle him and let him do whatever to feel better. Sweet kids!! Wanted to share in case this rings true for your daughter at all xoxo
My child struggles with transitions & the thing that has worked well is letting him know what will happen ahead of time. As much as possible, we try to stick to a routine, but we realized even more than the routine, it helps if we go over the day beforehand. For our kid, we chat about it briefly at dinner the night before & then reminder before school. When we pick him up we just make a short statement, like ‘school’s over, now we’re going home for a snack before …’ and seconding both the previous responses. My child needs a solid hour outside at the end of the day & often a soft parent to land on. Good luck!
It’s called post-restraint collapse. It’s a real thing, it stinks, and (in my kids’ case) can be lessened with application of immediate calories and quiet.
I read this somewhere last year, and did it with my preschooler, and will keep doing it: when I pick her up from school, I give her a hug if she wants, buckle her in, and then reach around and drive with my hand on her foot (safely). I don’t ask any questions or say anything, it’s just calm and bonding and it seems to really work until we get home, I get her a snack, etc.
If you pick her up from school, I recommend a small bowl of cut-up strawberries and silence for the car ride home. They’re fresh and sweet and then the recuperating starts before they even walk in the door.
My twin boys are only 2.5, but one of them has really struggled with the transition from daycare to home. we’ve found that a stroller walk home vs. a car ride is lovely for all of us, if it’s possible for you. But the main thing that works is snacks + water + sit on the couch for a show immediately upon returning. only about 10-15 minutes but it really helps him ease into dinnertime and playtime. Sometimes my husband will take our other twin on a walk – he doesn’t need transition time – but my sweet little Twin A will choose to stay home and just chill. He knows what he needs.
Welp- you’ve done it, folks! Thank you for all of the tips and for making me feel less alone in this one! Happy to report that a delicious snack, chill time and a 10-minute dance party made for a smooth transition. She was calmer the whole evening (and even this morning), and the sibling bickering was at an all-time low. Wins all around!
I got this tip from an Instagram parenting coach – an ice cold drink served without speaking (maybe just a “I missed you!”) immediately when you see them after school (whether that’s at pick up or at bus drop off) and then some time to just decompress, whatever that means for her. Works wonders for my son’s transition difficulties.
Great advice-we take a ‘mini soak’ right when we get home from school…rebranded early bath :) something about the water/clean clothes (not to mention germ removal!) really helps us shake off the good or bad of the day.
We’ve been enduring chaotic summer camp schedule all summer, so I think ALL of us (rising kindergartener included) are ready for getting back into the consistent rhythm of school. He’s a very routine oriented kid and can’t wait to see his friends every day.
I have 3 girls and it’s funny how they all have different needs for that first day. My oldest thrives on us being chill. I still remember making a big deal about her going to kindergarten and it back firing on us. So much pressure when everyone is asking all summer long “Are you excited to go to (fill in the blank) grade?!?” My middle one is all about back to school shopping and celebrating. Give her all the pencil pouches and new clothes. My littlest gives me all the feels. Everything is always the “last” time with her. So crazy how something so simple brings out very different emotions in our kids and US!
My kids and I make matching friendship bracelets that we all wear for the first few weeks of school. It seems to really help them to know we have that little tangible reminder of each other all day long.
Hahahaha thank you so much for the *sponsored mention note on the Apple gift cards, I was started to get all yarn-wall-conspiracy-theory about the frequency with which they were popping up! You know you spend too much time on a blog when….
Yep, me too Was like ohhhhh get it. I didn’t notice the other recent mentions were sponsored.
I was also thinking “why are apple gift cards getting mentioned so often lately?!”
Yes same!
Love these suggestions :) Another thought I’ve been repeating to myself over and over is that back to school is a season, not a day. My kids had their first day yesterday, and leading up to it, I could feel MY anxiety ratchet up, anticipating flipping the “school mode” switch. My anxious kids don’t need an anxious mom, so we’re eaaaaaaasing into the year. We’ll go back to school shopping next week, haircuts eventually, and we’ll still sit outside and eat ice cream in the sunny afternoon, soaking up the summer wind-down. Oh! The other thing I ALWAYS forget at the beginning of the year: restraint collapse is so real for little ones at the end of the school day. Just add water, cuddles, calm and quiet is helpful for us both!
ITA it’s a season. I always think the second day is the hardest, although the second week is rough too. The newness excitement is over, and now it’s just the slog. The Berensten Bears Go to School book agrees :) Highly recommend for kindergartners …and the older siblings listening in.
My heart! This is bringing me back to my own days of going to school… clothes shopping with my mom and my brother. Wondering who I’d know in my class, if the kids would be nice, luxuriating in the expansion of my world. As an aside — any older parents (or do we have any posts on older parents out there?!) with experiences to share? I’m 32 and unsure if my relationship — where we were deciding on MARRIAGE how did we get here?! — is going to make it. My partner is SO kind and SO loving and holding my hand through this entire process (so why am I waffling so wildly anyway?!). All that to say that I am so, so afraid of what the future holds, if parenthood will be in my future, and what life might look like. Could really use some wisdom from COJ readers.
Big questions, Aria! Sending hugs! One big question: do you feel your partner is aligned with your values to steer your family shop through life’s twisty unexpected turns? There’s a LOT of writing questioning the value of marriage for women. Much of it is so important to consider. AND I think marriage can be a beautiful way to establish a family partnership. I was married for 10 years and as painful as divorce is, I am SO grateful for my marriage and divorce. We’re now very solid coparents to two children. Though the marriage element of our partnership ended, we’re lifelong partners in our commitment to raising our kids with our shared love and values. Oh! And do get a prenup :)
I had my son at 43 with no medical interventions. That said, I wouldn’t wait quite that long. But you definitely have plenty of runway. BTW – my partner and I are not married, I’ve never been married and I don’t intend to be. I also know several professional women who had a kid on their own via medical means and they are all thriving. There are LOTS of ways to live.
Fun fact – you don’t have to get married. It’s completely fine to stay together and not have that burden of marriage hanging over you. If your partner is kind and loving and letting you figure out what you need, just listen to your gut and forget the rest. First step – figure out if this is who you want to be with. The rest will follow.
My kid’s been out of school for more that a decade but we used to have a first day of school dinner party, usually with her “grown up” friends, not kids her age. The guests would bring her a present for school, pencils or socks or something else inexpensive. It was a great distraction for me to plan and cook the dinner and something for her to look forward to at the end of the day.
If anyone has tips on helping a very sleepy five year old wake up in time for kindergarten, please help! Our daughter happily snoozes until 9 which has been fine for her flexible preschool but I’m dreading 7am wake ups in a few weeks
A couple weeks before school started would move wake up time 15 min earlier every morning until we got to the time needed. Then we’d keep it at that time the last week of summer.
Music! I made a little wake up playlist that I’d play while giving some cuddles, and that always did the trick. My sleeper-in-er is 9 now and mostly does ok. Oh, and take it slow. Start the wake up process like 15 minutes before you actually want her up. My eldest leaps out of bed like a freaking rocket ship, but the little one needs time to adjust to consciousness (as do I).
What time does her bedtime routine start? It’s likely it will need to be much earlier, like have her fed, bathed and in the bed no later than 8:00 or 8:30. Stay on the schedule as best you can. It helps.
A light up alarm clock is a nice addition – they begin to light up gradually about a half hour before the alarm goes off so often once you get to that point, it’s a smooth wake-up process. Keep moving bedtime back so she’s still getting the right amount of sleep for her needs. Even if you’re losing evening time.
do everything you can the night before (pack lunch, let her sleep in school clothes, etc.) don’t expect her to be ready to eat breakfast. larabars are lifesavers for us my child and i are both morning zombies so i keep expectations low and play nice music to make it a little easier 🙂
Ditto Sarah and Traci. Start the transition now, make sure bedtime is appropriately early, and stick to the routine. Between now and school, plan some fun morning outings to give the waking up a sense of purpose and motivation, like getting a pastry or going to a new or favorite playground.
Breakfast in bed worked for us. Then they’re up but not “up”. It made the transition easier if they had fuel for the getting-out-of-bed part.
If you’re a fan of the “Betsy-Tacy” books, you’ll recall that morning muffins were a first day of school tradition in Betsy’s house!
Yes!!
I was thinking the same thing!!
Yes, Betty! I was going to comment that. I’m not a teacher or a parent, but I live in a college town and some of my extracurriculars will start up in a few weeks. I’ve been thinking to bake myself muffins to mark that time again.
I have a senior and a freshman this year, and I think I’m the one who’s having the most feelings about back to school! A cake the night before is such a perfect way to kick off what will be a year of celebrations – the first and last of so many milestones. Thank you!
my 16-year-old and i just had a much-needed conversation (school starts next week) about how much we depend on each other in this family, and how we need to get back to basics with good manners. instead of assuming or feeling entitled to all the things as the school year ramps up, we will ask each other nicely, say please and warm thank yous, and that might keep us all happy and feeling appreciated. it can’t be sarcastic! the sentiment must be real. ‘please can i get a ride?’ ‘thank you for doing an audit of your tshirt drawer, i know it’s a pain’ etc.
On my son’s first day of preschool, after a terrible drop off, a middle school teacher (who’s also a parent) saw my husband and I standing by the gate, trying to hold it together. He laughed and said, “Aw guys, it’s going to be OK!” And enveloped both of us in a big hug. It’s been 3 years and I’ll never forget that physical act of kindness when we both really needed it.
The morning of the first day of school, my daughter and I take turns drawing a heart on each other’s hand with purple eyeliner and I tell her, “We are connected all day long! My love follows you wherever you go.” This started in preschool when she was nervous but now she asks for the matching hearts. <3 I also sneak a note and a special surprise treat in their lunchboxes!
I love that picture of you and Gemma, you can feel the love pouring off the screen! best friends and full hearts!
Great timing – does anyone have suggestions for a cool yet functional backpack for my daughter, who will be entering 6th grade this fall? She’s nervous about moving into middle school.
Jansport is all the rage and good quality
Just got my rising 6th grader a Jansport! She had a particular color in mind that we could only find on eBay. Good luck!
Lululemon?
Lands’ End is our go-to for backpacks.
I think I saw a recommendation on here last year for Ergobag, from Germany. They are pricy but super solid and last for years. I found my son one for under $50 on Ebay. One year into hard use (plus however long it had been used before) and it still looks great. One of the best parts is you can change the torso length to grow with your kid and it has chest and hip straps to balance out the weight distribution.
Comfrt brand has some cool looking backpacks. They are a little spendy, and i’m not sure if that brand is still cool with her age group, but if it is, it might give her a nice confident boost going into a new school era!
North Face or Jansport
My kiddos (6th and 8th) are reusing their North Face backpacks again this year. A little pricier to purchase but they’ve in like-new condition after washing on delicate/air drying. Good luck to your daughter this year!
Not cheap and maybe bigger than she needs, but I recently got myself a Cotopaxi backpack and love it: https://ca.cotopaxi.com/collections/all-packs/products/batac-24l-daypack-del-dia?variant=45383199490188.
Our North face backpack fell apart after a month last fall. Would not recommend. I don’t know about cool, but Osprey has been awesome for durable and functional.
I remember I would spend the entire month of August planning my first day of school outfit! Back to school shopping was always the best!
My first starts kindergarten later this month and I’m already fighting back tears reading this! He got so scared the other day and asked, “Will I have to spell words I don’t know how to spell?!” He’s more than ready and I know that all involved will be more than ok, but what a wild time (and what will sending him to college be like????!!)
Kindergarten teacher here–yes, you will be sad, and they will be so happy to go! (even if it does not appear that way at first!) You WANT your child to skip off happily without you–truly! Independent + happy= parenting success, they’re not moving out yet! ! And now that I’ve sent my first to college, that is a THOUSAND times more gutting. Nearly broke me last fall.
When my nephew started Kindergarten last fall my sister and I were texting back and forth all day waiting to see how it went. We spent all summer reading him the book, Mom, It’s My First Day of Kindergarten in preparation. When it was pickup time I kept checking my phone for updates. Luckily, the first day was “Amazing!” and now he’s gonna be a big ol’ first grader!
My daughter started kindergarten last September. In the weeks leading up to it, she had been memorizing this cute storybook about a penguin. I thought she just really loved the book so we read it all the time. Cut to her first morning of school, which parents joined for the first hour, and I found out she’d been memorizing it in case she needed to demonstrate that she could already read 😭 She was so nervous about being unprepared. Her teacher and I both quickly reassured her and she had a great day and year but it breaks my heart to think about her quietly and nervously trying to prepare herself for what was to come.
Another kindergarten teacher here (also named Andrea, coincidentally!). I agree with what the other Andrea said, and also want to add that I always tell parents that how well their kids do/don’t separate on that first day is not a reflection of their parenting or their relationship. Kids surprise us all the time! I think the separation is often harder for the grown ups than it is for the kids, but trust that we’re all on the same team and it will be OK. And, hard no to spelling of words at the beginning of kindergarten!
Aww, me too-I’m having sleepless nights!! Not sure if screens are your thing, but there is a Franklin episode that addresses just that, including the fear of spelling! Franklin has nerves, powers through, has a blast…sorry for the spoiler :) here’s to a great year!
Mine are grown, but we used to create an activity checklist for the 2-3 weeks before school started, including one big one they could invite a friend or 2 to join, like a day at the water park. They were ‘slow transition’ kids, so one of these activities was a dry run of getting backpacks/lunches/etc together and leaving the house like we were actually going to school–but we’d go to breakfast instead. This practice sesh reduced everyone’s first-day stress.
The pre-first day breakfast was a tip I got from a coworker when my kids were little. It’s a great suggestion! We still do it now that we’ve got high schoolers :)
This is REALLY smart – my kids are daycare kiddos so have been used to the morning rush all their lives (aw this makes me kid of sad haha) but this is genius!
Just a note to say that I have made those zucchini muffins linked above so many times over the years that I now know the recipe by heart. They were a lifesaver when I had gestational diabetes during my second pregnancy and I was craving something baked and cakey but was forbidden from eating just about anything in that category (do a full cup of almond flour and a 1/2 cup of whole wheat!). Make them! They’re so good! It’s zucchini season and now is the time!
Oh, yes! We also make those muffins every week or two year-round, usually a double batch! I sub Bob’s Red Mill GF flour for the flour and Unsweetened Coconut Yogurt for the ACV + Buttermilk. They also freeze well! They’re a staple breakfast in this house :)
Second this! 10/10 totally recommend those muffins. So so good.