What’s The Best (Non-Physical) Compliment You’ve Ever Received?

“You make everything nice” from my then 4/5 year old snuggling at bedtime. Or from one of our daycare providers, “Your children are very peaceful”. Of course they also had meltdowns, etc but I took that to mean that I’d managed to create an ease and safety within them – best compliment since my own was very hard earned! Lovely reading all these and recalling my own!

A good friend told me when she had her twins that out of all of the girls in our group, she’d feel most comfortable leaving them with me. That was huge considering I’d never had kids and never would! My partner told me I was the most adaptable person he’d ever met; that he could drop me off in Outer Mongolia and three months later he’d find me sitting in a yurt chatting with the old ladies and drinking yak milk. 😂

When, unbeknownst to me, a friend was having a difficult moment, a mutual brought me over to her and asked me to embrace her. “She needs to be in a safe place,” he said. It is quite possibly the best compliment I have ever received. <3

I actually keep a Notes app file called “Nice Things People Have Said to Me” to read when I need a boost. Mostly and lately I’ve gotten comments that my presence is “joy”, by both friends and strangers. This means so much to me because I have been through HELL the last few years (horrible divorce, kids in serious trouble, lost everything I own in the Palisades Fires) and I have worked hard to stay myself joyful through it all. I cry, I grieve, I feel all my sad and confusing feelings, but I also dance wildly and laugh loudly and am generous with my time and energy towards others.

Sooooo late to this post and comments, but a friend told me that I was the human equivalent of a Swiss Army knife. I think I was making a campfire at the time, but it makes me feel that I can do anything.

this is completely right, i do prefer a compliment that is unexpected because is not easy to see. for me, when someone says something good to us that is not related with the appearance and related with something that we are good at like giving advices, being funny and warm with other people, talk with an stranger, help someone else in an autectic way or something related to our values or standards means tha we still having something to give to this world and that is someone out that can still notice

I’m late to this comment chain but what a joy to read! A few that come to my mind: -Someone once told me that I’m the best at celebrations. I celebrate big things and small things and listen when people talk about the things that they are excited for. Sometimes I value celebrating just getting through a hard day. -I’ve been told multiple times and by different people that I’m like glue to our team at work. I hold us all together, I keep us moving in the right direction and I keep us focused. I love the thought of being glue to a team of highly capable, creative people. -I’ve had many people tell me that my handwriting should be made into a font. That’s just a fun one!

Someone from Boston told me I was wicked smart. Doesn’t get better than that.

I am very late to this, but needed to add it, for the record. I recently had my 20th high school reunion, and someone told a friend and I that we “made being smart cool” and if it wasn’t the best thing I could have heard!

A college friend told me “When I’m around you, everything’s…funnier.”

I just had a doctor’s appointment, and my physician (who is a very new doctor but quite awesome) said to me out of the blue, “thank you for being such a kind person. I have a lot of patients that make comments about my age, and you are so respectful and encouraging.” I always like to ask the doctors why they chose their profession/specialization (it always just interests me to hear their stories) and thank them for taking care of me. That really made me feel good.

I wish CupofJo had a ‘heart’ option for each comment (like they do on Patreon) so that I could fully like/love each of these comments! I never want to ‘junk up the feed’ by writing ‘me too!’ or “Sounds amazing!” as a comment but if the web development team could add a ‘heart’ option, that would be very lovely (and inline with this community supporting each other).

In college, my best guy friend once told me “You know what you want, and you know exactly how to get it” (context: he was gay, we’d been out drinking, and I somehow got him to kiss me). But 20 years later, I still remember that often, and it gives me confidence if I’m ever doubting myself.

My husband told me when we first started dating, “You’re not like anyone”. He still tells me this today and I think it’s the greatest compliment. I’ve also been told by several people that I’m very efficient which I personally love since my biggest pet peeve is inefficiency.

I read every single one of these comments

We have a family birthday dinner tradition where everyone goes around and shares their favourite thing about the person who is celebrating their birthday. We do it in our own family and we get it started when we are guests at someone’s birthday. It’s great dinner conversation and it feels great to be a part of the circle of love for the person being celebrated. And it’s magic for the birthday person!

In a darker moment of my life, my best friend gave me the best compliment: “You’re very powerful.” She said it with such confidence and certainty that I could feel solid ground beneath my feet. That moment was a turning point. She opened a door to a part of myself I didn’t yet know existed — she’d seen it all along, and welcomed me inside a more empowered version of myself.

I finished my degree as ab adult. One day a woman walked up to me and said I was responsible for her completing her degree. She said during an exceptionally difficult time in a math class I told her we were NOT GOING TO DROP THE CLASS. We could do it. We were the two adults surrounded by young students.

My secret belief about myself was always that I’m a black hole and swallow all the good mood around myself. During my education as a therapist (go figure), we had a group task having to tell another person about an imaginary place we feel safe in. As I was describing, the other person suddenly stopped me, smiled at me and said: “you’re such a bright rainbow, you’re personality shines through everything you talk about”. I was stunned and the belief I had about myself healed a lot because of that person :)

After mothering my six children for over 25 years, my MIL said i had done a very good job of raising them. Thats a serious compliment for a MIL to make. I appreciated that veey much.

I once was told I have an effervescent personality. That was over 25 years ago and I still love that because think do too. My now husband told me he told his roommate the first time he met me, “that girl has the best ass I’ve ever seen.” In my opinion I have the lumpiest, ugliest ass ever so I’ll take that compliment!

A few years after graduating high school, I was home for the summer and out for the evening in the local pub (small town Canada). Halfway drunk, in the bathroom washing my hands. A girl I didn’t recognize, a couple of years younger than me, came out of one of the stalls. She, also halfway drunk, said “I admire you so much, you’re so pretty but you are always kind to everyone”. The backstory: I was not well-liked in elementary school, an experience that made me determined to be kind, especially to those whom others were unkind to. Let me tell you, once I became one of the ‘popular’ girls, I relished that social power. Turns out it amplifies kindness just as much as it amplifies cruelty. This happened more than 25 years ago, and I’ve held it in my heart ever since. Greatest compliment of my life.

A friend’s daughter said she could tell a social media post was mine just from the picture. As a wannabe professional photographer, my heart swelled.

I’m in a group chat with friends who cheer each other on through our goals (mostly health and fitness, but also business and family), and recently one of them suggested we each message each other saying how we see the other person. Her reasoning was that sometimes we get stuck in our own heads, and it helps to have an outside perspective. It wa the most wonderful exercise. Friends told me things like I’m compassionate, thoughtful, brave, have a fierce passion for those I love, and that they love my spunk. I felt so seen and uplifted! I highly recommend telling your friends how you see them.

Just here to find out whay candle it was. !!

I often help students in my high school with their senior essays. A student whom I didn’t know came in once to make an appointment and said, “I’ve heard you’re useful.” I’ll take it!

While giving notes after a rehearsal, a high school theater teacher once said that everyone else was better when I was on stage. I don’t act any more, but I’ve never forgotten it because it feels pretty core to who I am and want to be.

I appreciate compliments that aren’t in words. Three different coworkers, who did not know each other, came out to me before anyone else at work. Or coming out at all at work. Two are openly gay now, one in a completely different job. The third I’ve lost touch with. But 20 years ago in a corporate job it could be risky and I was honored they trusted me. I am the only non-relative a friend allows to babysit. And I don’t have kids! She admits she’s a helicopter parent and it means a lot she trusts me with her son.

Such a good word!

Someone told me that I have the most genuine smile. I know it’s physical, but that one landed. My face, like my mother and my grandmother’s before me, is riddled with smile lines. I’ll take it!!

I once told a young mom and her tween daughter that they spoke to each other with such emotional intelligence. Imagine my horror when the mom thanked me and attributed that to the time they’d both spent in therapy after their husband/dad suddenly passed. In front of them! Had I opened a wound? Yes and no – of course there would be no getting over him. As Ruth Chan told us, grief is like butter in a puff pastry. I think it brought her some satisfaction, though, in an outsider’s proof that they were headed in the right direction.

I give compliments alllll the time. To the ppl I love most, to strangers on the street. I love saying the quiet part out loud. A few of my favourite compliments to give (to ppl of all ages) – I like the way your mind works To babies / on baby announcements – welcome earthside, you are already so loved And to receive – my husband once told me that I’m like a lighthouse – when the light of my attention is shining on someone, it makes them feel like the most special & important person in the world. I still think of it often.

I’m a special educator and our board had a tour of the school, including my room. We weren’t doing anything particularly exciting, just normal routine things- writing I think. After school, my principal popped in, “I wanted you to know what they said about you, ‘we know all your teachers love their kids. But you walk in her room and you can FEEL it.” Best compliment I’ve ever received.

The other day I picked my 6-year-old daughter up from camp. One of the other moms, who is also a teacher and has known her for years, said to me, “I like her because she’s such a fun person but she also can stand up for herself. You’re doing a good job with her.” My daughter is more self assured and confident than I ever have been or ever will be, and I don’t know that I can take credit for that, but it was really nice to hear.

Two stand out in my mind: Firstly, when I was wobbling on my big move to the USA from Australia (having already arrived in the USA mind you!) my best friend said “You’re so brave.” What I thought was foolhardy she admired as being courageous. And you know what? It made me feel brave and fearless! I ended up staying in the States for 12 wonderful and successful years. Second best compliment I ever received was when I worked as a tour guide at a hydroelectric facility in upstate New York. I had shown a third grade school group how electricity travels in a “circle” (circuit) with silly little devices that lit up and made a sound when a circuit was made. We made circuits with our bodies by holding hands in a circle with increasingly more people, we tried out different conductive/non conductive materials, then I set them loose to be “scientists” and experiment. They were testing rocks, leaves, anything they could think of to see if they could make a circuit happen. One little guy ran up to me and in his excitement screamed “YOU’RE THE BEST SCIENCE TEACHER EVER!!” and ran off to test something else. It is on my LinkedIn as one of my proudest career acheivements of my life.

My 6 year old daughter was hugging me the other day and she kind of moaned and inhaled and then said, “why do you always smell so delicious?”

I’ve been told that I am really good at keeping in touch. Every time someone says that it makes me feel seen and that the person appreciates the efforta I’ve taken. From the time I studied abroad and wrote “aerograms” (indicative of my age, sigh) to setting up WhatsApp groups to get everyone on the same page, it feels good to be appreciated and noticed even if most of the time it does not take effort for me to keep in touch because it just is in my nature to do so.

I’m good at talking to babies and young kids. 0-5 I absolutely thrive. I’ve heard it from other new moms, but also from dad friends and older ladies and nannies. That means so much to me! A core part of my parenthood and personhood is explaining the unfamiliar, and since I’m parenting in two languages I’m sometimes a little self conscious. I’m very comfortable talking to other peoples’ kids too, it makes play group and the playground such a joy.

My dad’s job made us move every 3 year. We had traveled around the globe by the time I was in 10th grade. Once I was telling my English teacher once, how this meant I never had a best friend. He said I always wondered how you came across “so cosmopolitan”

After reading a book to my daughter’s second grade class where I did voices for the different characters a boy told me that I “reminded him of someone who works at the library.” Best compliment ever.

Love all these comments! Reminds me of a little dinner time/drinking game my friends and I played in college known as the “Compliment Game.” We’d sit in a circle and you have to say a compliment about the person beside you. Though it wasn’t a rule, most of these compliments were non physical ones. Coupled with a few drinks in us, the compliments we came up with really made everyone feel so seen and left us all feeling great. Highly recommend at your next gathering!

What a lovely question! Two stand-outs come to mind, even though they happened years ago. In college, I lived with a difficult and often abrasive roommate who a lot of other people didn’t like. I tried hard to befriend her and live peaceably together, despite our differences. One day, a close friend who knew about the situation said to me, “You know what I like about you, Jenna? You give people a chance.” Several years after that, when I was back in my home state for a short trip, another friend of mine expressed surprise at the old friends and neighbors I had already visited and said, “Wow, you never forget about anyone.”

A fellow parent on my son’s soccer team—a dad—told me that I was a good mom and that he liked the way I interacted with my son. It really stayed with me. It’s not often that someone tells you, so directly, that you’re doing a good job as a parent. Hearing it from a dad was extra surprising.

There are a few that have stuck with me: A young woman I worked with when she was in her late teens and I was in my 30s recently told me that she really looked up to me and that wanting to be more like me made her break up with an abusive boyfriend she had at the time. She referred to me and 3 other women who were all there at the same time (and are all my friends to this day) as “Her version of Charlie’s Angels”. It makes me cry every time I think about it. I am a certified yapper and I am curious about literally everyone. This can make me very good at making people feel welcome or it can make me overstep people’s boundaries. At party a few years ago, a friend who is a bit of a Lothario brought his newest girlfriend along and she was the only person in the group who hadn’t known everyone else present for several years. I parked myself next to her and asked her about herself for most of the party and later wondered if I’d been too much. She and my friend broke up and I the next time I saw her was when she came to the salon where I worked as a client. She remembered me and told me she’d been nervous about going to that party and that my effort to get to know her had put her at ease. Lastly I live in a small walkable college town with a pedestrian mall. We have a small population of unhoused individuals who hang out there and I have a neighborly rapport with most of them. This means that I often get called out to when I’m walking downtown. The comments vary but one day I was headed to pick something up at a local shop and a man called out “You have a very confident walk!” and that made my whole damn year.

1. My english teacher telling me that I was good at enunciating.When I had just moved to the united states 2. A friend telling me that I walk really well in high heels. such a random but specific compliment 3. I get compliments on my voice.and how youthful it is. Once when I was on the phone with the call representative, they said I had a really cute voice, honestly, a bit creepy, but I just like that I get compliments on my voice 4. I just fractured my wrist.Rollerblading, and i’m forty one years old, but I loved how my aunt told me at least you were having fun. Which feels like a compliment to me?Because I was having fun before I fell!! Now i’m terrified to go back, so I think I need to stick to safer things.And I have young kids to take care of..

A younger activist friend told me once “If fascism comes back I would trust you to hide me” and it moved me to tears. (we are in Italy)

I was sitting on the paper-covered exam table thingy and being asked a million questions for my Dermatologist visit. Before walking out the door to get the Dr, the nurse turned around and hesitated a second before saying I had really good energy. It kinda came out of nowhere but it really made my day!

I would like to pass along a non-physical compliment: I was a little sad seeing Joanna’s weekend signoff that she’s visiting relatives in England, thinking we’d be away from fresh content this week (happy for her, obvs). But the CoJ team is doing a fantastic job of keeping things going! Great topics and discussion!

One of my best friends tells me she would listen to my podcast based on the voice notes I send her. Another friend once told me my husband and I are their “reliable friends” – we don’t flake on plans and are usually up for hanging/helping out. Both of those have stuck with me.

A customer at work told me I had a laugh like Carol Burnett. I’ll never forget how that warmed my heart! I love my laugh.

My son’s (incredible, beloved) daycare teacher/babysitter/now friend made photo albums for all the kids in cohort as the kids graduated to the preschool room and added really personal notes for all the parents (I told you, she’s the best). In ours, she wrote that if she ever decides to be a parent, she hopes she’ll do it like my husband and me and highlighted our mix of playfulness, directness, and compassion. This boost, when parenting has not always been easy (oh hey neurodivergence in the fam!), by someone so skilled in the art of childcare, hit so hard. Also, the other day we were trying to prep for a camping weekend and I tried to talk meal planning. My husband seemed overwhelmed and was saying he could think about it tomorrow, so I told him I’d take on grocery shopping and “just figure it out” and he said, “thanks, you’re good at that.” I needed to hear that, especially bc in our relationship he tends to be the structured project planner, and I sometimes feel like the Type B goof. Seeing that he recognized that even if I’m not as structured, I get things done and figure it out meant something.

I volunteered as a “guest reader” in my daughter’s 4th grade class, reading a chapter or two of a novel each week. The teacher told me I was really good at reading aloud, and it thrilled me.

This is so timely. Just last night when I was tucking my four-year-old son into bed, he said, “Mommy, I love the way God made you.” Oh, my heart!

My mother in law once told me, after I’d made some save-the-day decision on a family vacation, “You’re very competent.” Which sounds like tepid praise (competent < excellent) but in fact was a meaningful compliment! What she meant was, I come up with solutions, I'm decisive, I get sh*t done. I take pride in that and when I'm juggling work/parenting/home-owning etc. that memory buoys me.

I have been told I make people feel good, no matter the situation. Once, at work, in a job I actually hated – one of the facility cleaners told me they would always remember how I made them feel (good!). Another time, from a friend who lives a drastically different lifestyle than my own (I’m a mom, he’s a fun, gay single guy who has a lot of…fun:)) and he said “I feel like you never judge me, so I always tell you everything and you make me feel good!” No one will ever remember the PowerPoint presentations I did or the Excel spreadsheets I updated. But, hopefully, in the midst of the work, they’ll always remember I made them feel good :)

It was the summer I was starting my own business, and working so hard at markets every weekend that were hot, exhausting, and often disappointing. I had so much to learn, and I often felt like giving up. On a particularly tough market day, a very kind woman was looking through my stall and turned to me and said- “I can tell you work very hard.” It was exactly the recognition I needed to hear in that moment- still makes me tear up when I think about it!

Recently during a session helping a family plan a wedding at winery I work at occasionally the mother of the bride stopped me as we were doing the walk through and said “you’re so good at what you do, we feel so relieved to have found you”. After two years of career chaos and having felt like I haven’t found my feet since we moved, coupled with two male bosses who have consistently knocked my confidence I nearly hugged her! It was just what I needed to hear and a reminded that I am competent and capable and can make people feel at ease.

Years ago, when my son was maybe 10 years old, I was semi-jokingly bemoaning my small stature and overall weakness as I get older. :) I said, “I’m just a little old mommy!” To which my son promptly replied, “With a big old heart!” I still think about that, almost ten years later. I would MUCH prefer to be “big-hearted” than physically big and strong. I’m so grateful for this sweet little line from my sweet little boy that I’ll always remember.

I was on a group “adventure tour” with both hiking and whitewater rafting, and at one point, we were challenged to jump from about a 20-foot promontory into a quiet part of the river. Some people didn’t go for it, but I joined the crew to go up there. I got to the edge, looked down–and turned back. I’m scared of heights! But then I thought, no, dammit, I came for an adventure. So I went back to the edge and jumped. When I came up and got to the waiting rafts, two of the guides were cheering like mad for me specifically, and one of them said, “You went back! Lots of people get up there and turn around, but you’re the only one I’ve ever seen come back and jump!” I don’t know why that’s resonated so hard with me, but it’s always in my mind as this reminder that failure doesn’t have to be final.

A colleague’s 10 year old recently told me that “I’m funny” and she asked to be my penpal, which I think is pretty much as high as I can go in life? A few people have recently also told me that I’m good at making friends and building community, which makes me really warm at the core as someone who feels incredibly socially awkward at times and have had to learn to just forge through it as a result of many international moves by myself over the last 10 years.

Waiting to deplane after a long flight, an older gentleman sitting across from me told me I was a very focused reader. He said he noticed me reading at the start of the flight and paid attention to all the pages I was turning. I think about his kind observation every time I fly. Be still my heart, you’re right sir! I love to read!

A few years ago in the grocery store, an employee stopped to tell me that I had great spatial reasoning as he stared at my Tetris-ed cart. It’s still one of the best compliments I have ever received.

After quickly crossing three hectic lanes of beach area traffic to get to the sudden exit that we needed, my very by-the-book sister said that if she ever committed a crime, I would be her getaway driver.

I saw my college boyfriend at a party and asked him about his lovely new girlfriend… I asked, Does she make art, what does she do…? He said: She’s like you. She doesn’t make art; she is art. I’ve been thinking about that compliment for 25 years.

After my son had an injury, I was leaving dozens of voicemails a day for doctor’s appointments and physical therapists and felt like a robot. I rolled into one of those PT meetings exhausted, in sweatpants and messy hair, and after checking in one of the therapists rushed out and said, “Oh it’s you! I had to know what the person with the most beautiful voicemail voice I’ve ever heard looks like!” I felt like a queen for the rest of the hour!

A friend in high school called me a “showcase friend”, meaning that he was proud to bring me around, and could rely on me to be fun, respectful, engaging, etc. with family, other friends. The phrase stuck, and I still regard this as a sweet compliment.

I was trying to get out of a contract at my gym (ugh) and resorted to looping in my attorney father, who later told me I ‘write very professionally!’ Had to tell those bros I meant business!! I’m a CASA (advocate for a child in the foster care system) and one of the attorneys on my case was an absolute ass who brought my kid to tears more than once. My supervisor praised my poise and confidence in saying what needed to be said and not backing down against this person’s aggression.

At the end of a major, multi-year negotiation, the opposing lawyer (far senior to me) told me I was a formidable adversary and a good person. It was profoundly moving and I go back to it when I’m in the trenches.

My 15 year old and I were wrapping up a particularly tricky emotional conversation and I was praising her for her insight, maturity, and fierce self advocacy – let me tell you, this girl will be fine when she gets out into the world, no one will be pushing her around 😁 – and she said ‘well, I learned it by watching you’. To be seen, for this, by my teenager…the best compliment ever

I struggled in math all during secondary school and hated my teacher. once, when I was sixteen or seventeen I had to draw a graph on the blackboard in class and she said “you’ve got the feeling for that graph” and to this day I think of myself as a confident and competent free hand drawer.