How Has Your Partner Surprised You Lately?

I love this post but is this coffee recipe elaborate hoax? I’ve been stirring this egg yolk and sugar for over 10 minutes and it’s unchanged. Besides having someone else do the stirring, where did I go wrong? SEND HELP MY ARM IS BURNING. I’m too sweaty for coffee now.

I love this.

as a texan who moved to MI and deeply misses tex mex..please share your barbacoa recipe !

How wonderful is Max! And how wonderful is the lady in the Instagram link? How nice to see something being made normally and with enjoyment rather than something glossy and choppily tempo-ed for social media. Lovely all around!

I love this. For our 15th wedding anniversary, my husband found an amazing t-shirt of my favorite tennis player, Matteo Berrettini. This might seem unremarkable until you go look up Matteo. I think I am single handedly responsible for a gaggle of 25+ middle aged women tuning into ESPN for his matches. I laughed so hard I was crying when he gave me the shirt. It was pure love and joy.

My husband is learning more about BTS for me! (we have tickets to see them later in the month and while he knows a bit about the band, he’s slowly getting more into the fandom, it is really sweet share more of my love for BTS with him and to see what his reactions to everything are. His favourite thing we watched this week was Jin’s music videos for Super Tuna, he thought they were hilarious)

My husband has started bringing me coffee in bed!

Right now, the low-key thing that makes me the happiest is when I come downstairs in the morning after he has left for work and see that he’s done dishes. It’s a relief and gratitude feeling!

When I had a blood draw last year I was having a great conversation with the phlebotomist and when she was done asked if I could have a sticker since I was so well behaved. She laughed and said of course I could. The Bluey sticker has been on my computer ever since. Yesterday I had surgery and as I reached into my bag afterwards I saw that my husband had somehow procured another Bluey sticker for me while I was in the OR. He’s a dear. (Also, I’m 54 with adult children and no grands yet, but really do love Bluey. 😄)

When all we can afford/have time for is a date night in, cooking dinner for ourselves, my husband makes it feel like an event. I sit on the couch; he comes in with a handwritten menu and acts like a waiter (who hits on me). Almost always, he comments on how “new” he is, but that he aims to please. I first receive a thoughtful cheese board and glass of wine while the “chef” (also my husband) continues cooking the main dish. He will occasionally take off the apron, which means my husband has returned, takes a gulp of wine, chastises the “waiter” for hitting on me, then excuses himself to “go to the bathroom” (finish making dinner). It’s the most fun. Eventually he finally sits down, asks me how the service was, and we start a movie. Typing this out reminds me of how insanely lucky I am to love him and be loved by him! <3

He is handsome and this is adorable! I am also married to a thoughtful man who changes, incredibly lucky

When my husband and I were dating our biggest issue was how much he worked. Like he worked all the time, a very intense job that was much more than 40 hours and usually at least one or two freelance jobs at nights or on the weekends. But he’s passionate and interested in what he does and it’s genuinely how he wants to spend his time. Work actually recharges him. Still, when we talked about getting married and having a family he said he was scared of working less or that he wouldn’t want to be with kids as much as at his job. But when our son turned 8 months old, I broke my leg and with complications ended up in the hospital for more than a month. And I was unable to take care of our son when I got home for over a year. My husband without thinking took paternity leave then scaled back to 10 hours a week at work (something we are very lucky he was able to do). And he put just as much attention and focus into taking care of me and our baby and then toddler — literally never complaining about it before. I loved how passionate my husband was about his work. But seeing him be fully involved in caregiving for our son has been the biggest and best surprise of my life, and a sweet silver lining to my health troubles.

My husband and I have known each other for 21 years, together for 9, married for almost 7, and he is admittedly a very thoughtful, acts of service kind of guy so I’m very lucky to be used to lots of loving kindness, but recently our youngest was teething and only wanted mama and I was a wreck from lack of sleep. Two nights in a row he, without any fanfare, started early on all of the tidying, chores, and next-day prep that we usually do together after our kids go to bed, so that I could go to bed at the same time as our kids (7:00pm lol) without having to think about any of it. The relief that came from that extra sleep, and the mental load that lifted knowing that everything would be tidy and organized for the next day was exactly what I didn’t know I needed in that moment!

We joke that we’re a mixed caffeine couple-I drink coffee and he drinks matcha. We both have learned how to make the other’s preferred beverage in the morning and it’s been very sweet :)

For ladies dating or soon to be dating, I’m dating a lot and have been so pleasantly surprised by these chivalrous dudes ! One guy let me sit on the inside in a restaurant (something I love but I know a lot of guys also love so it was so nice when he automatically gave me that seat). Another guy took me to the beach and made burgers for lunch with meat he went to the butcher to get !! He packed both still and sparkling water and napkins! Not to mention finding a new restaurant after the first two didn’t work out. Another guy carried my jacket, pulled out my chair… All tiny things but things I have appreciated! There are so many good men out there !!

My husband of 16 years started reading a short story I couldn’t stop talking about, and he’s now reading the entire collection of short stories. He’s more of an business audiobook guy, so when he started reading a short story about aliens, I knew the spark was still alive!

I love this! My husband of 18 years and we just started using an app that has been super fun- it’s called Paired and has a cost, but we’ve been enjoying it.

Years ago, I was recovering from an injury where my doctor suggested I try getting into running. I charted a “couch to 10K” plan and early on I came to him in tears over how hard it was- partly because there was no guarantee it’d help and not even a fun thing to make it worth it at the end. He found the arbitrary end date of my plan and coordinated a full on 10K race for me. He marked a course in the local park, had bagels & coffee in the parking lot, and surprised me with about 30 friends in t-shirts that said “Race for the Tangible Goal!”

This wasn’t exactly a surprise as I requested it. For a recent milestone birthday, I asked my husband to write something for me. I’ve been feeling super disconnected from him and like we are no longer aligned on some values the way we had been. I requested a list of things he liked about me. I only asked once – a few weeks before said birthday. I had no idea if he’d even remember or would respond. The surprise was not only that he did it, but the number of items on this list matched my age (no small feat). Talk about feeling seen! I cherish that list!!

We’ve had a bit of a stressful season where we are feeling disconnected from one another because time is at a premium (we have an almost five year old and another on the way). I found out that my husband set a reminder in his phone for the same time everyday with just my name, which is his reminder to pause and give me a kiss and tell me he loves me. During pregnancy, I also stress about food safety (I have anxiety around listeria and toxoplasmosis exposures during pregnancy). He cooks 80% of our meals, and does so with utmost care and attention (extra attention to food temperatures, reheating leftovers to temp, using produce spray and extra washes for fresh produce, etc.). He knows that it is overkill, but also does it without asking because it reduces my anxiety. Who knew that over-cooking chicken could be so romantic?

“Like cook barbacoa tacos, or memorize lines from his favorite SpongeBob episode” = the cutest ever

This is so tricky for me. In every past relationship or early dating phase at least, the man has done lots of very sweet and thoughtful things, just like all the things mentioned here. These are the things that make the relationship feel special and genuine to me, that would make me believe he really cared about ME. But inevitably, when it would come down to committing, they never would and I would be so hurt and confused. And I would really lean on those when trying to figure it out…. like… how can he do all of those sweet, true things, but then also not want to be with me? Sometimes I think these behaviors are about men wanting to tell themselves they are “good guys” and feed their own romantic notions/egos, rather than actually conveying genuine emotion to the woman in front of them.

Oh my gosh, I would swoon too! Great coffee in the morning with three young kids? Heaven. My husband has made me coffee in bed since we started dating 10 years ago. I take forever to come online, and the mug hitting my bedside table makes me feel so loved. He also recently drove my car while I was on a work trip, was so grossed out by all the crumbs (2 littles will make an amazing mess) that he got it detailed before I was home. He didn’t say anything, and when I got into my squeaky clean car I genuinely cried from joy. We laugh that its the most romantic thing he’s ever done for me, but it’s true! He had two young kids solo and still spent time thinking of how to take care of me while I was away.

swoooooon! love this so much.

Maaaaaax! Love this so much. There’s something about an unexpected, thoughtful gesture that’s really touching. The other thing? He was proud of himself: nailing a new recipe, and being so excited to share it with someone he loves most. That’s hot!

When I was pregnant with my first, I wanted to be more intentional about getting enough protein. My husband began making me an omelet every day throughout the rest of the pregnancy and I felt so taken care of and loved. Now, almost five years and 3 kids later, he still makes me an omelet every Saturday and Sunday morning without fail and without complaint. He is the best!!!

This is it!!! These small gestures are everything! 43 years in December and fun (nearly) every day. I’m so thankful— and wish the very best for all the couples here—

When my fiancée charges her toothbrush, she does mine too 🥹

We started working with a financial advisor for the first time and she was asking us all these questions about our life goals, when we want to retire, etc. It’s been longstanding knowledge in our coupledom that I am good at, but truly hate, corporate life. I’m an artist at heart, and in 20+ years of working life this has remained a constant that will not go away. My husband is not similarly affected and more or less likes his work. So I do what I can creatively in the margins and even just had my photography accepted into the MN State Fair Fine Arts Exhibition (!!!). But the overarching narrative as we’ve been parenting 3 young kids has always been that we also just have non-negotiable financial obligations. I’ve felt doomed to keep working in this way to support our family until retirement. I don’t even want to be someone who retires! I just want to get in a better lane of work for me, and do that until I die. Anyway, my husband’s answer to the financial advisor about retirement almost knocked me off my chair: “She should retire [from this kind of work], before me, and as soon as possible.” Even if that is a ways off from now, that’s okay. But I don’t know if I’ve actually felt more loved, and acknowledged. As far as two fiscally responsible people go.

About four months after we met, my boyfriend went on a trip to Japan. He brought me fun earrings, chapstick, and a small zipper pouch. I felt so seen and loved because he had noticed – I love fun earrings, am obsessed with chapstick; and carry a giant tote bag full of small zip pouches instead of an actual purse. (He continues to surprise me with things that he notices….like buying my dream house – tiny, pink, with a woodstove, in the forest – two months ago!) As an aside, this egg coffee drink is so interesting!! Is anyone else wondering how the coffee doesn’t cook the egg? Does it taste eggy? Will 100% be trying this asap.

This is SO SWEET, and such a great reminder of how to show love and care. :)

awwwww so sweet…love you, Max and my 3 ggkiddos MUUUUUUCHO♥️😘

My husband and I have been together for 27 years (22 married) and this last Christmas he got me a book that was totally up my alley and one I haven’t read and a new to me author. To me picking out a book for a person is so personal and I love that he took the time to research and find something I would enjoy. P.S. the book was Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon

This is sweet, I hope you and I have more moments like this.

My boyfriend and I are celebrating a year on Friday :) He’s played soccer his whole life and it’s very important to him. I watched the World Cup games with him (why not? it’s so fun!) and he was always so grateful and happy that I was keeping up with it or joining him to watch.

We took a three week long road trip near Lake Michigan some time ago. After a about 10 days, I had no books left to read. When we stopped in Holland, Michigan, he purposefully walked through the streets, refusing to say where we were headed Until we came to a wonderful bookstore where I stocked up! I felt truly seen and loved.

Cup of Jo ladies, I’m crying reading these comments. I separated from my husband of 16 years this year because it felt off, he felt so distant and busy ask the time, and our relationship didn’t feel important to him, just functional and made his life easier. Seriously, I didn’t know marriage could be this good. Trust me, I know it’s hardwork, but I’ve always thought I have too high of standards or too needy… I’ve been hoping there’s a guy out there that treats me like all these men in the comments. I honestly am shocked. I’ve never experienced being treated like this. All the thought, care, and attention to needs and details is just WOW. I’m blown away. Thank you for giving me hope and helping me realize maybe I’m not crazy after all.

Just this morning I mentioned to my husband that we probably needed to clean the filter on our dishwasher and I’ve been putting it off cause it grosses me out. Then I hopped on an hour-long Zoom and when I was done he had cleaned it! And I’m normally the person who does the icky stuff like cleaning the sink drains. To me that was pure love.

what is his favorite sponge bob episode?!

My husband has recently started packing my lunch for me. After a decade together, from a guy who ‘doesn’t cook’, to marinated tofu & lentil bolognaise (‘for your iron levels’). It’s been a good reminder that just because I can do everything myself, doesn’t mean I have to.

I’d been making the case for a couple of years that we should get a turntable. There’s one place in the house that makes sense for it, on a sideboard, and we had a typewriter there that my husband loves, so he kept vetoing the turntable. I kept pointing out how all his favorite hotels had one in the room and how much we loved it at a friend’s house. For my birthday this year he got me a turntable and 10 albums, chosen to represent different eras of my life (I’m 56, so I’ve seen a few!). It’s been six months and we’ve had so much fun learning what kind of music we like to listen to this way, when the turntable is the way to go, and more about one another’s musical tastes. He thought I didn’t like jazz because I was always asking him to turn it off if it was background music, but with music that calls for your attention more, jazz was the first thing I bought! 29 years in, still having fun.

My husband of 14 years once kept a logbook of our days for an entire year and gave it to me for my birthday. The log included things we did, his thoughts on us, what he liked about me, etc. The year (2018) turned out to be a very pivotal year in my life – my dad died unexpectedly and we were becoming parents ourselves for the first time. His gift allowed me (who has a hard time accepting kind words/compliments/positive feedback) to see me how he sees and knows me. It still makes me teary 7 years later.

I wrote down this comment from an old Cup of Jo post years ago and reread it frequently – it really struck a chord in how I think about my husband! Thank you to the original poster Nancy. Here it is: Nancy says: Being married for 23 years, it’s easy to find the flaws. So I challenge myself to find the exceptional qualities and ways my husband has changed for the better over time. It is like finding clues to a mystery–how is this person different today than they were yesterday? It is the best exercise for finding contentment and appreciating my spouse for doing the hard, hidden, and unappreciated work in himself and, by extension, for us as a couple and our family. I am not a person who believes in “soul mates” or “there’s only one person for me out there”, but I count myself as the luckiest girl in the world to have found this particular man who loves me so completely and well.

This may be off topic but reading your comments made me think about my current situation .. Ive been running in circles for weeks now . I have a major crush and I don’t know what to do about it. He’s extremely , painfully introverted. He’s my neighbour and months ago we started talking about geopolitics , a subject we’re both passionate about . We see each other once a week , sometimes to have dinner together ( with other neighbours ) , other times to just talk geopilitics ( yeah I know ..) . We text too ,almost everyday. .The problem is I started to have feelings for him early on and I have no idea what he thinks about me. I keep thinking does he see me as a woman or just a neighbour which is very frustrating. I’m terrified of being rejected and since we live in a very small village and have lots of mutual friends , it only makes it worse . How do I know if he’s interested without asking him bluntly.

Go Max!!! What a cutie and what a delicious coffee treat! My husband Pat always makes sure the kitchen is clean and there are some flowers from the grocery store on the kitchen table when I get back from work travel…the whole house is asleep when I creep in at 1 or 2AM on a Friday morning from a late flight back, but seeing those flowers and a clean kitchen makes me feel so loved.

We’re deep in the IVF trenches, so I’ve been a moody mess lately. My husband recommended I read old favorite books. As I was lamenting having lost everything in a natural disaster years ago and “not remembering” my faves, he handed me my e-reader and explained he’d captured photos of all my bookshelves before fleeing, and then recently added ALL OF MY BOOKS to my e-reader. I’m smitten all over again!!

My husband surprised me for my birthday with a mosaic making class! He said he heard me complaining that I didn’t have any hobbies, and he also remembered that my late Mom made mosaics. It was five three hour classes filled with banging tiles in a kid free environment and was just what I needed.

Lol, I read this question as: what is something surprising about your partner that you didn’t know. It reminds me of around my first wedding anniversary when we switched from dryer sheets to wool balls and he just totes casually picked them up and started juggling and I was like “WHO EVEN ARE YOU?!?!”

We should also be showering our friends with random acts of love like sending them flowers just because or dropping off a bottle of wine at their front door after they had a shitty day.

Thank you for introducing me to Rita Gigante, her video inspired your hubby but her accent and storytelling took be right back to my Jersey roots. Marone, Go watch it, you wont be disappointed!

I laid down to take a nap with the kids while my husband built shelving in the garage (he was already getting lucky with this), and when I woke up there was a chocolate candy bar and bag of jalapeño cheetos sitting on the counter next to my book. Two of my favorite treats. He’d run to the gas station to grab them for me. I love these little thoughtfulnesses! We both had a lot to learn when we first got married and being thoughtful was one of them.

Soo sweet. And I love all your rapid fire questions, Jannelle. “Are you taking me out somewhere?!” And yes, frequent surprises through the past couple decades are the best. Not gifts, as that’s not my love language, but hb’s surprises = putting in plants he grew from seed that bring baby bunnies & hummingbirds closer to the patio, cooking a meal I mentioned in passing that’s wrapped up in a special childhood memory of mine, or, constructing an elaborate – modern clothes line because I love the salty – fresh air on duvets. And that’s just a few from summer. Always grateful, but also, women are generally amazing ,and it’s wonderful to see them / us paired with green flag partners.

This is so sweet. My husband and I have been together since we were baaaabies (20 year olds!), and are coming up on 18 years together. This past week, I went on a business trip and was super stressed and didn’t have much time for phone calls. When I came back, he’d bought and set up nice things to help me destress and to make my home office more comfortable (better lighting, a foot rest, cord organization). I was so touched that he’d taken the time to make my everyday life a little more comfortable.

Max rocks!

My husband surprised me with a customized Moleksine notebook to jot down what I’m dreaming about (I tend to have vivid, intricate dreams every night). He surprised me last week by leaving it on my bathroom vanity so I’d see it while I got ready for bed. He’s the best gift giver! <3

How did it taste???? I’m so curious! I’m not doing added sugar and I don’t know if the yolk would froth with something like monk fruit extract. I will try it and report back. The lady from the video was so funny. I grew up in New Orleans and know many Italian ladies that sound so similar. My husband’s mom grew up on a farm and drank coffee as a kid, seems like it was common years ago? (One time she babysat for our kid whne he was 2 1/2 and he asked for “coffee milk” which is what we called the extra frothy milk my husband would give our kid, sans coffee and my MIL calls us to ask how he takes his coffee and at 6pm no less! Years later this story still cracks us up. I hope to be lucky enough to a grandma one day and do something my kid thinks is utterly unhinged.

Aww, love how he was so delighted to make your day, and how you were so appreciative! Also that coffee egg video was great- I’m going to try surprising my husband with this. (We also love our Moka pot!)

Attention and intention is hot! Max is a hottie!

Ca phe trung? Indeed the most exciting coffee in the world.

That is so sweet! I think consciously being pro-active is great is and will keep things fresh. What a catch Max is!

We’re celebrating our 20th anniversary this week, and we spent the weekend hiking to a different town and back with our son. On top of the picture-perfect pass that divided the hike, my husband surprised me with a necklace (3 intertwined rings for our family of 3), sparkling wine, and macarons. It was such a sweet and thoughtful surprise, and a pretty perfect way to celebrate 20 years together.

Love the little smug smile in the last one like “I’m getting a COJ post about me bc I nailed it” haha 💘 so sweet love the idea and reminder

We were camping this weekend and my husband ran into a gas station to grab a block of ice. He came out with the ice, a fountain sprite on ice, ice cream bar (it was 100°), and a Reese’s. I’m keeping him for another 34 years.

Jannelle, you will be married for 60+ years because you and Max have the secret sauce! Thanks for sharing!