Have a Lovely Weekend.
What are you up to this weekend? The boys and I are going swimming at Freddie’s community pool. I’m the official diving board stunt videographer! Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…
Oooh, the trailer for Don’t Say Good Luck looks compelling.
The #1 pants I’m packing for Europe. (Also, these perfect tees are finally on sale.)
Things you didn’t put on your resume, sobbbb.
How beautiful are these frames? I’d love to frame a restaurant matchbook and the four-leaf-clover Anton found at the park.
Playing with playing cards.
Having a baby after age 40. “I remember waking up and going, okay, I’m 40, I don’t have a mother anymore, and thinking, ‘The window really is closing. Maybe let’s try this.’”
If you’ve been thinking about getting a rug, here’s a huge sale. I like this one and this one, and this is my bedroom rug.
Who’s up for tomato red nails? (Elle)
How to decorate a small bedroom.
Love that Ayo Edebiri and Ebon Moss-Bachrach are real-life friends. (NYTimes gift link)
Finally, I did an ask-me-anything on Big Salad — about romance, babies, and moving to England. So many good questions!
Plus, three reader comments:
Says Cat on three summer beauty products our editors are loving: “I’m returning to work soon, after having a baby. I went to my local beauty shop and asked the lady there to help me with a quick routine that will make me feel put together. She helped me so much! The one product that blew my mind: Trish McEvoy’s Instant Eye Lift.”
Says Kim on three summer beauty products our editors are loving: “The other day, I was wondering if I should or shouldn’t put in the effort to do my makeup — and I didn’t. And then I met my new therapist and she wasn’t wearing any either, and it felt so lovely.” Ed. note: Doesn’t this feel quietly revolutionary?
Says Christina on what’s your Larry David sandwich: “I was very sick during pregnancy, and the only meal that tasted good was a meatball sub from Heidi’s Deli near my office in Denver. Months after welcoming my daughter, I took her downtown to meet some work friends for lunch, and that’s when it hit me that I’d named my daughter after a sandwich. Heidi is now three years old and in her toddler pickiness eats meatballs as her main source of protein. It’s so, so funny to me.”
Comments
179 commentsI’m curious about a lot of the no makeup comments. I feel like anytime someone tells me they don’t wear makeup, what they actually mean is, they don’t do a “full face.” They say they don’t wear makeup, but they actually might do a little undereye color corrector, a tinted moisturizer, etc. For all of you commenting that you don’t wear makeup, do you literally mean zero?
I literally mean zero. I live on the west coast of Canada in a very casual area, and while I’m sure I’d look a little more bright and polished if I figured out a subtle makeup routine, I just can’t be bothered. I do use moisturizer occasionally when my skin gets flaky, but it’s not tinted or fragranced. In this region, make-up wearing is roughly 50/50 so I don’t feel any sort of pressure about it. I’ve dyed my eyelashes and brows before and liked it, but not enough to do it regularly. I did some laser hair reduction sessions (I was annoyed by coarse leg hair getting tangled in my wool socks, wow I feel like a PNW stereotype), and shave what’s left about once per season.
I got married in my bare face, I do public speaking in my bare face, and I do televised interviews in my bare face. Literally everything, for over 30 years, bare-faced. Please don’t feel any pressure to wear makeup for anyone’s benefit but your own.
These comments about makeup are so interesting! I wear makeup most days and want to say that I am still proud of my face. I don’t do it for others or because I feel under the heel of the patriarchy. I do it for myself, because its a nice short ritual (takes less than 5 minutes) and it makes ME feel good (similar to how I feel if I wear certain clothes, or my hair behaves the way I want it to etc.) Everyone should do what feels right by them, and please know that those of us who choose to wear makeup don’t necessarily do it out of shame or compliance.
All the makeup comments are so interesting. I love makeup and wear it every day. To each their own!! We are all beautiful.
Late to the party, but I am so happy to add my comment to those who don’t wear makeup! I did for years—loved playing with it as a teen especially—but during COVID and year 3 or 4 of hormonal acne, I just quit. I covering up the acne felt like too much effort and it just made me feel worse about my face, not better! This approach worked for me, even though the acne was all I could see for a long time. Then a change in career took me outside, physically laboring, sweating off my makeup in minutes and it became impossible to maintain. Luckily, after a pregnancy and switching birth controls (non hormonal copper IUD) the acne has resolved. Makeup has not returned to my life, however!
I don’t wear makeup for a few reasons. Time, especially in the evening to wash it off. Sensory, I don’t like anything on my skin, including sunscreen (trying to do better with that one). I have very rosy cheeks, even more so when I was a teen, and I flush/ blush very easily too. I wore makeup then to try and hide that because people just loved to point it out. “You’re SO red!!” Seriously, who does that?? It’s so incredibly rude. But as I got older, I lost my fucks, and decided to stop hiding my face. If someone is dumb enough to be rude to me like that, they’ll get some sharp sarcastic remark back. I realize now, that it’s MCAS that makes me rosy and flush. And it’s hEDs that gives me the sensory ick and makes me dead tired by bedtime. And all of that makes my skin super sensitive too. And makes my eyes very watery, and lots of sneezing – all very rough on eye makeup especially. I also cry a lot. My hands hurt a lot and it’s difficult to hold things like a mascara wand. So I think of no makeup up now in disableism ways – all the stuff I have going makes make up a bad choice for me. I bet a lot of other folks are similar. I recently took makeup with me, on a trip for a funeral, just thinking, I really should be respectful and look my best. I still didn’t end up wearing it. I also wore crocs. The earth didn’t stop spinning!
Sasha, we could be friends. Bendy body, histamine issues (a long lifetime) and many chemical aversions. My special hell is the idea of being stuck in a facialist’s chair while someone slathers stuff all over my face! Even walking down a perfum-y candle aisle is tough. Steer toward the workable and away from the triggers, always.
Count me in as part of the zebra club too.. I spent this past weekend zooming into to the annual EDS foundation global conference and it was informative but also depressing that we still face so much poor treatment from the medical community. I feel like there are so many more of us than they realize!
Oh Laura, I hear you! Many days i can’t be in stores at all – the smells get me. I can’t ever do the laundry aisle. I love thrifted clothes, but I’ve mostly given them up because of the laundry scents that get in and you just can’t get out (I mean, with a lot of time and effort, maybe, but I’m tired girl!!) The good news is with my long arms and dislocatable shoulders, wrists and fingers, I can reach that thing no one else can!! Ha! Silver linings and all that :) Hugs Laura!
Oh Ann, how fascinating. I would love to hear more about that conference. I don’t know if I’m actually neuro divergent, but I’m at least pretty different, and when folks talk about their *special interests* I just start nodding. One of my many is all the stuff wrong with me. I think it alleviates anxiety for me to understand, and it’s an outlet for my curiosity too. It’s a fascinating syndrome, mystery, group of individuals. If either you or Laura, want an online zebra friend, hit me up. It always feels good to chat with someone who really gets it. I know there’s a few others who have said they are zebras, but I can’t think of names right now, if you’re out there, you’re welcome too. Bellabirthing@msn.com Sasha Lindberg in Bozeman MT on FB or IG.
I own the Yaya pants from AYR. They fit exceptional well especially for 5’0 tall lady. I reach for them often. But I do have a few gripes… For the price tag there isn’t a high level of craftsmanship – the rivets have denim pushed through in a frayed way and the stitching isn’t very high quality. I can live with all of that. But, I emailed AYR’s customer service about the frayed rivets and received no response. I can handle a lot – but bad customer service? Nope. I am finally at the point in my life where I can afford more expensive things and I am not giving my money to businesses that cannot answer a simple email. Rant over. :)
I have a pair of their pants and like them fine, I guess. Not sure I would purchase again. These days I refuse to shop online sales where the items are labelled “final sale”, which I consider a customer service adjacent issue. For online shopping the policy makes no sense from the customer perspective, because you can’t know how an item will fit until you try it on. It tells me they will abandon customer support when it is convenient for them to do so.
The makeup comments are fascinating. I wear makeup; exactly what I wear depends on lots of factors, but I really always like having on some blush and some mascara. But sometimes I add concealer, or eyeshadow, maybe lipstick. And when I’m on a beach vacation, I’ll probably only put on some mascara when we go out to dinner. I really only care about my makeup. I don’t know who on my team at work wears makeup and who doesn’t. I don’t really know which of my friends do or don’t. Everyone should feel comfortable in their own skin.
Wow! A LOT of people don’t wear makeup! I don’t either and thought myself one of an awkward minority that never learned the art of properly applied makeup. Glad to see that many women don’t wear makeup for many reasons and do so with pride. I am also impressed by all the women who have learned the art of applying makeup. We are all beautiful!!
Adorning one’s face, hair, body has long standing roots. My husband and I were just listening to an audiobook over the weekend about Captain Cook’s journey along Nootka in British Columbia in the late 1700s. The native women there were completely adorned in reddish decoration – on their faces and bodies. It is all very interesting.
True, and for men as much as women, historically at least. Not sure what’s up with modern men make zero effort. Sad. But thank you for your comment because it is so important to realize that this is not a practice grounded in shame about one’s looks. It is MUCH deeper than that. That said, I wear very simple no make up, make up. A bit of concealer on the inner corners of my eyes and in the nose creases where it’s red, then eyebrows. Mine are disappearing and I’d love to get brow hair implants if they exist! Then a tiny bit of blush. If I exercised more I wouldn’t need blush but c’est la vie.
With such acne prone and sensitive skin, I prefer no daily makeup, despite working in an office setting. I only wear makeup for a wedding or going out/special occasion, or if I have some important presentation. I still love all other girly things–I highlight my hair, care about my outfits, wear earrings, groom my brows. I would just rather use the extra time in the morning to make a nice breakfast or work out!
I don’t wear makeup but and religious about sunscreen, which I remove like it’s makeup and is a step I could do without. Any recommendations for a daily sunscreen that doesn’t need to be double cleansed off?
I just kind of use daily sunscreen and don’t wash my face a lot and it is fine? I actually got complimented on my skin the other day by a friend and I was like SPF, retinol when I remember, and I wash my face like twice a week. It probably depends on your skin sensitivity etc, but ignoring it works for me. I definitely don’t double cleanse—at most I either use an oil to remove anything or I use whatever face wash is around and again that’s like twice a week.
@ kay I don’t want to change my pillow case daily! Otherwise you are sleeping in your body’s dead skin cells, whatever environmental toxins sit on your face, like car exhaust, other peoples germs, etc. Personally I can’t sleep if my face and feet are not washed before bed. I’ve tried and I end up having to get up and go do it so my body will go to sleep, lol.
Let’s solve this problem, Vanessa! I agree, sometimes I’m avoiding sunscreen because I’m so sick of washing it off.
@Jane yeah I’m just kinda gross I guess. I don’t really worry about it and I don’t change my pillow case daily. I’m glad you’ve found a routine that works for you.
If I just wear sunscreen, or sometimes when I’m truly too lazy to wash my face even with makeup, I use La Roche Posay’s micellar water on a cotton pad or two. Then I put on my regular moisturizer (also La Roche Posay) and call it a night!
I remember while attending Catholic school, a (very pretty, clear-skinned) classmate gave up makeup for Lent, and I was so impressed by her bravery. I had bad acne in high school and college and still bear the scars. During Covid I didn’t wear makeup for a month or so and realized that was the longest time I’d ever done so. I learned to like my bare face more. The sheer makeup trend is comfortable for me, since I’ve never quite figured out how to paint a cat eye etc. Brows and mascara usually does it for me on the daily WFH.
Such an interesting conversation about the choice to wear makeup in these comments. I keep thinking about it! I wonder though if many of those who choose to go makeup-free are already more on the conventionally attractive/socially-acceptable end of the looks-spectrum? I feel like this is what I observe in real life – it’s the already-beautiful that have the privilege to go sans makeup?
We are all beautiful <3
For me, it’s the opposite. I am pretty plain looking, my skin bears a lot of acne scars. Makeup does little to change my looks or make me look better. To try and compensate for the scars always meant a lot of makeup, which I would always end up touching and messing up. IMO, people without makeup just look like people. We get used to the made up version of people, but that’s almost like another category.
Eh, I’m average, and I do fine without it. But also a lot of social privilege in my job is based on what I know and not how I look. My girlfriends and I go without makeup for social time and we are all ranges of conventional to unconventionally attractive. Caveat: I do wear makeup for YouTube if not for social media scenarios.
Hi Anon, so: I love myself (most days) and can more or less neutrally say that I am – if at all – UNconventionally attractive. But I really like it if my cheeks are red after a run in the rain (to catch the bus), or my hair stands up after sweating cleaning out the basement (whoever invented basements, I am not a fan :)). It feels like my body made a really cool movement and put in some effort, and my face was also there to witness it and make me feel good.
Interesting! I think about this article a lot: “Why Do We All Have to be Beautiful?” https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/06/opinion/sunday/women-beauty.html?unlocked_article_code=1.01A.d3dx.I9RnVDfnlM8T&smid=url-share
Just wanted to add that I think it’s also very cultural/context-specific. I grew up in rural New England (Southern Vermont, Western Massachusetts, Northern New Hampshire) and people just don’t wear a lot of makeup here. I never did growing up and still don’t. I think I would weirdly feel more self-conscious wearing a lot of makeup here, because no one else I know does.
Lucy, I agree! Why is beauty–something that is, by definition RARE–something that women take on as a second job in America? Why do we call makeup and skin care “beauty” as a category? The vast majority of humans look average. We’re are not all objectively beautiful. Why do we take on the project of trying to modify that?
Hello Everyone! I am very plain looking as well, moreover with many facial scars from several surgeries. My face has red, bluish and very pale tones. Makeup feels very heavy on my scars, hence my choice to be makeup free 99% of the time and I feel very comfortable with it.
Anon I’m actually curious about this too. Some commented below that they’d love to see a CoJ post of women who go makeup free, and I’d love for that to include women who aren’t “conventionally attractive” or who have dark baggy under eyes, splotchy skin tones, acne scars, etc. I’ve seen time and again women who say they don’t wear makeup, but their skin tone, undereyes, etc naturally look like what I’m trying to achieve with makeup. It’s hard to word this comment in the way I’m thinking,
I’m a little jealous of people who don’t wear makeup. Most of my days off I skip it, but I wear eye makeup and blush to work. Customers choose how much to tip me if at all, so looking sick, tired, or god forbid old will cost me.
$265 for pants? They look great, but yikes O_O
I never wear makeup! I think I probably come off as pretty girly in other ways, but I just don’t like the way it makes my face feel, and at this point it just doesn’t feel like “me!” I don’t even own mascara anymore! I do get my lashes dyed about four times a year, which I like.
Makeup is so very very optional! I sometimes adorn myself with fancy eyes for special occasions or when I’m walking into a situation I’m insecure about. I doubt anyone can even see it behind my big glasses though. I learned the hard way that my dry, sensitive skin is happiest if I leave it alone, so I barely even wash it and just rub in a little jojoba oil. I also got radicalized into the no-makeup lifestyle as political statement by Jessica DeFino, as well as maintaining a protective barrier of dead skin cells. Now I don’t put any kind of acid or anti-aging product on my face, in addition to committing to not concealing anything. Faces with texture are more interesting anyway!
love this comment! I also stopped consuming and using ‘anti-aging products’ and recently subscribed (paid) to Jessica DeFino’s invaluable Substack. I learn so much from her research and find her content so empowering and refreshing. I hope you end up feeling beautiful and confident on days that you apply those fancy eyes! Do it for you, not for anyone else xo
Wait…is Joanna moving to England?? When was that announced??
no, she responded to the idea of moving to england in big salad
Perfect timing of all the “pregnancy 40+” comments. I met my husband when I was 37 and we were long-distance for the first two years. I had never really felt a strong desire to become a mother and firmly believed I was too old now to still consider it. And I was perfectly happy! We bought and renovated a house and once we were done with that two years later, at age 41, we all of a sudden had this “why not?” feeling so we just went for it (me actually believing it wouldn’t work anyway – “but at least we tried”)… and then I got pregnant on that very first attempt! However, it wasn’t meant to be and at 8+3 weeks I miscarried. So just to add my perspective to all the other comments – some of us may well be blessed still with fertility at this stage of our lives, but of course I knew that my age also put me at higher risk of chromosomal or genetic defects which is what likely caused the miscarriage. It’s a risk, but worth taking if otherwise healthy. I just finished healing and after a short wait recommended by my doctors we’re ready to try again in a few days (now at age 42) – wish us luck!
Good luck!!!
Good luck, Vanessa! I had a son at 42, after a miscarriage. All the hugs.
It’s so fun reading comments from other folks who don’t wear makeup, so I’ll add mine :D I’m 32 and have never worn makeup in my life. My mom wore some growing up, and I can particularly remember her putting it on in the car before church, but she never made a big deal out of it. As I watched my peers experiment with it, it always seemed just a bit too femme for me and my somewhat tomboyish self. And expensive! And time consuming! So I never bothered. Not for my wedding or anyone else’s. My face is my face, and if I have dark circles under my eyes or have acne or whatever, great! Why shouldn’t people should know I’m tired? Let’s talk about the hard or fun or mundane reasons that my face looks as exhausted as I feel. And acne? Part of life. I’m excited to continue watching my face change, my smile crinkles deepen, and new freckles appear. What a gift it is to age! I like not being dead.
Maybe dead will be great too? Lol. Sorry. Your comment made me laugh. I like not being dead too Claire! And it’s awesome to just look our age and like real humans too.
I’m envious of everyone who doesn’t wear makeup – and I also suspect you have naturally clear/relatively clear skin. I’ve had bad skin all my life and type 2 inflammatory rosacea (the kind with LOTS of texture) that has been unresponsive to any of the OTC and prescription treatments I have tried over the years (please hold your suggestions, I promise I have tried everything on the spectrum of natural to pharmaceutical, gentle to aggressive, minimal to maximal, internal to external). So I feel deeply uncomfortable at the thought of being seen without concealer and foundation. It would be nice to not have to think about this for once in my life!
Im glad you’re dying what’s best for you! I don’t wear makeup often so it feels very strange to me. But if I had taken the time to learn what works for me and didn’t have to think too much about it, I probably would wear makeup a lot more often. Maybe someday :)
I so appreciate this comment! I had acne as a teen and it was traumatizing! I never break out anymore and get a lot of compliments on my skin but still – i feel like i look better with a bit of concealer tho i also wish I didn’t feel like i need to wear it. I wear make-up mostly every day. I feel like i just look more alive and awake. It takes 3 mins (mascara, a little eye shadow, concealer, lip balm) and it’s very light but still – i would love to feel like i looked great w/o it and i loathe the beauty standards placed on women but don’t feel fully free of it. But I also grew out my silver hair and it looks fabulous! So, both things are true lol
For me, not wearing makeup is a sensory thing. I can’t stand the feel of it on my face. This made no sense to me until I became a mother. Once I started to learn more about my neurodivergent children, I started to understand so much about myself.
Nope, lots of acne scars. It takes too much makeup to counter that and I am fine letting people see me.
I also have rosacea and without makeup, I get LOTS of comments about why I am so sunburned. I am never without it outside the house. I just feel better with it on.
I see you on the rosacea. the combination of very pale skin if I don’t wear make up people ask if i am OK – either ill from or sunburnt. My make-up routine takes literally 3 mins (i have timed it)… but makes a world of difference. As I am getting older I have noticed that a swipe of lipstick makes a world of difference on Teams calls.
I seem to be one of the few people here who love makeup. It feels like painting which as a creative person, is fun to me. Having said that, menopause has made my eyes so sensitive that I can no longer wear eye makeup so I focus on moisturizer and the occasional swipe of lipstick.
I am here too! Huge makeup lover and in particular I like dramatic makeup, like a smokey eye or intense lip, it just adds to my day and makes me feel like life has a bit of fun to it no matter what else is going on!
I love wearing makeup as well!
Is that cover photo Freddie? His calves, holy cow! Does he walk to school uphill both ways? :)
Hahahaha thank you for acknowledging this! I said a silent Wayne’s World “Sha-wing!” in my head lololol.
I left a comment last week asking for a post on deciding to have kids later in life, so I just wanted to say thank you for the link to this essay. My path isn’t what I thought it would be. I went from married and planning to have a kid in my 20s to divorced and exploring my sexuality in my 30s to now in a beautiful relationship with someone I actually truly really want to have a child with. Except now I’m 39. Whoops. I am trying to hold out some hope while being realistic about the possibility.
The whimsy and personality that emanates from all of those small bedrooms is enviable!
I wear a little makeup every day that I leave the house, but my God do I have a lip balm obsession. It started with being given lip balm as a kid to stop me from having seriously chapped lips, I think. Anyway, it’s a problem. Every coat pocket, purse, backpack, travel bag, you name it, has at least one. My lipstick is tinted balm and there are so many great ones, including old fashioned Dr. pepper chapstick.
Same here. I am loving the Blackberry tinted lip balm by Nivea and also a honey lip balm (untinted, in a small glass jar) that I purchased in Hawaii (Big Island Bees). The latter has cured my persistently dry, chapped lips completely.
I just put the Nivea suggestion in my cart!
Same girl, honestly I’m neurotic. I don’t wear make up but I do wear tinted lip balm. I like Burt’s bees if you haven’t tried them? My all time favourite was hemp organics tinted lip balm but they don’t make them anymore (so sad about this). Would love any reccs for anything similar – I like colour of the Nivea ones but I can’t do a sort of fragrance at all.
I came across this lovely post on stylish women and wanted to share with the COJ hive: https://saracatharinedaniels.substack.com/p/things-i-always-notice-about-stylish “They have signatures. A staple lip color, a pair of earrings they never take off, a hairstyle, a vintage accessory passed down. Whatever it is, they have something that’s just a part of their identity. They find little details that speak to them and repeat until people begin to associate those things with them — like they’re saying, “this is me. I like this. I’m keeping it.” They prioritize their style over trends. They know what doesn’t suit them, what doesn’t fit with their lifestyle, and they skip it. They understand that trends are simply suggestions, not instructions, and that just because a hip girl on TikTok told you about an it item, doesn’t mean you have to buy it. They’re not forcing something to work for them simply because it’s “in style.””
This is me! Pixie cut every six weeks. Diamond studs. Vintage gold bangle. Fun ring on my right index finger. For a long while, leopard flats and a solid scarf were part of the set up too. I find something I like and stick with it. It’s one part style, one part monetary, one part ease.
The other day my six year old girl asked to use my face sunscreen so that she could “look like me”. Loving this chorus of women who likewise wear little to no makeup… may all the little girls in our lives try to sneak some of our sun cream on.
sometimes i don’t wear makeup. i have very rosy skin some days and some scarring from a bad-skin adolescence. i ached with jealousy over my friends who had perfect skin in high school. i was 15 when clean+clear and clearasil were the thing, and i surely did very much damage to my young skin so in need of healing aids, not drying ones. i bought bottle after bottle of “ivory”-colored covergirl foundation (i have fair skin, too). finally i figured out that oil was helpful–coconut oil especially. i had been on antibiotics and the pill for my skin at this point. but i still wear makeup. i wear makeup that protects my skin (spf), and which feels comfortable. i don’t feel like it’s face paint, or some horrid clown makeup. it makes me feel pretty, which makes me feel good. i don’t wear it every day—now that i’m 40, my skin has become a much calmer organism, though i still have many rosy days. i am gentle with my skin now, but i can’t forget what it was like to be the only pimple-faced kid in a high school with so many clear-skin-havers. i can say i was grateful for makeup at 15, 16, and on up through 25, and i’m grateful to be gentler with my skin now. i do wonder, though. what if i’d been taught it was okay to have flawed skin? perhaps i wouldn’t have the feelings about makeup that i do. this is an interesting conversation to have!
Christina, I used to work by that Heidi’s too! The French dip was my standard order. I realized we named our daughter after our favorite salsa (Sadie’s), and our son’s middle name is from the underwear we used to buy them (Tucker and Tate).
haha! Love that, Sasha!!! (the cajun turkey is my standard order when I’m not pregnant!)
There’s definitely nuance to the makeup conversation. Humans have adorned themselves with cosmetics since the dawn of time and it can be empowering, culturally unifying, gender affirming, a real art. The current industry is so oversaturated and exploitative — Arabelle Sicardi’s book the House of Beauty is a fabulous critique that comes from a place of deep love for cosmetics and beauty. I stopped wearing it as daily maintenance a while ago because I honestly couldn’t be bothered but still have a stash on hand and when I wear makeup I want it to be OBVIOUS. There’s sparkle and pigment and pizzaz. The purpose isn’t to make me look more “acceptable” but to be expressive and intentional and a little tacky.
Hi Betsy. As a woman who hardly ever wears make up, I just want to say I found your comment thought provoking, lovely and charming. I would love to see how how do your makeup! :)
Love this comment. I am a 45 year old woman who has never worn makeup but LOVES watching some make up channels on tik tok for all the reasons you express here. The artistry is stunning!
If I could add to my resume all the small miracles I make happen on a weekly basis, maybe I’d get a dadgum call back for an interview
Preach! Whenever I see a job posting that looks interesting to me, but for which I am unqualified, I want to scream, “If you only knew the small miracles I make happen on a weekly basis, you would see that I am beyond qualified for this role.”
I’m also a no make-up gal. I hardly ever give it a thought, but I’ve been traveling a lot for work lately, and have wondered, “should I add a little effort out of, like, respect for these people I’m meeting?”, which is a weird sentiment in itself. Ultimately, I don’t, and each time I’m validated when I’m meeting with physicians and clinical staff during their busy days, who are often also women wearing no make up. The respect is in showing up prepared and getting the work done, how we look is literally the least important factor. I know other sectors aren’t as pragmatic and have a lot more expectations about women’s appearance, but hopefully it’s becoming less so with time.
I’ve always desired to not wear makeup, and have recently begun not wearing any. I love not having makeup on my face. I’ve realized that I like how I look, that I think I am beautiful without makeup. Without makeup, I am me. It’s wonderful to grow in to yourself and allow others to think what they want about you, to become someone who cares the most about your own desires, preferences, and opinion of yourself, to become free.
I stopped wearing makeup during covid (i only wore eye makeup) & at first, I’d throw some mascara on for client calls, but that quickly went out the window. Anytime I’m in person, I’ll add a little more pizazz & people always comment about how good i look 😂 it’s honestly hilarious!
HEAR HEAR!
Physician here who also doesn’t wear makeup at work. Solidarity! Would never occur to me to think a colleague less prepared bc not wearing mascara.
I’d also love to see a post on women who don’t wear makeup! Frankly I’d love more posts (I know you’ve done childfree and maybe single and changing careers) about women pushing back against the patriarchal systems we reside within. Women traveling alone! Living alone! Living with friends! Living with their cats! Working cool jobs! Never getting married and never wanting to! Never dating! Doing cool art! We need more examples of this.
AMEN!!! Echo this!
Yes please!!
Yes! It’s me, we’re out here! I’m SIX of the things you listed. They tend to feed on each other and self-reinforce.
I’m 45 and I’ve never worn makeup in my life! I worked at an ivy league university for more than a decade and have had many other jobs. I don’t know, it never even really felt like a choice for me. I have no idea how to do makeup and the couple times I tried lipstick for fun it felt *so* uncomfortable that I realized any “professionalism” or social currency I would gain would be lost due to my decreased confidence and comfort. I can’t really say I’ve noticed any negative consequences. I’m happily married and have a wonderful social life!
Yes! I used to wear makeup daily when I worked, but I became a SAHM 7 years ago and I just cannot find it in myself to make the effort. I have a bare face (plus sunscreen) 99% of the time, and then if I’m going out with my husband or something, it feels special to put on some mascara ahd blush.
Yesssss
I love this, Sage. Hoping to see more of this type of representation here.
yes!!! it me!! would so so so love this. Excellent idea.
Same!! I never wear makeup except for weddings, and I…like the way I look without it? Would love to hear from more women who choose not to wear makeup or do other quietly radical things like you mention!
Hear, hear! I consider myself fairly minimalist when it comes to makeup but I’m still clinging to my mascara and tinted sunscreen (sunscreen isn’t going anywhere for me, #irish) but some words of encouragement around… just waking up and going would be so appreciated.
Yes please! Would love to see more of this type of content on COJ!
Kids’ last names! I knew even before my first pregnancy that NOT giving them my husband’s last name felt like a small, but fundamental, rejection of the patriarchy. They’re 22 and 26, and none of us have ever regretted them having my last name only, but I know it can feel more complicated in some families.
They had a great post about women with gray hair at all ages! Just one example of CoJ doing a post in line with what you are talking about.
That would be a fun article! I do wish though the conversation didn’t tend towards extremes, like I do X (e.g. wear makeup), or I make a bold, brave choice to not do X. I don’t drink much, and it wasn’t a huge decision, I just don’t like it. I also don’t wear makeup much, or blow dry my hair, but it’s really more of an efficiency decision. If more of my scars were on my face, and/or my hair wasn’t as manageable, I might make different choices.
I also agree with this! And women of all ages.
Another vote for all of the above, please. I’m almost 40, but I never stopped questioning if the typical way to live is best for me. When I’m presented with a cool woman or nonbinary person doing things their own way, the feeling that comes over me is that of a tween beholding a pop star – absolute awe. Forever searching for that inspiration!
My 3-year-old was born when I was 43. My mom naturally conceived my youngest brother when she was 46. Two aunts had babies after 40. They empowered me when cancer put conception on the back burner for years. I’m grateful for my son and grieved that other health concerns mean he’s an only. Motherhood isn’t for everyone, but it has brought to my life the fullest version. Still, when I was in the throes of cancer treatment, our therapist gave my husband and I an invaluable gift. “You are a complete family. You are complete humans. This is true with or without a child.”
Thank you for sharing this! What amazing women you all are!
I only wear the tiniest bit of make-up now and often (mostly) go without. As a teenager I wore it regularly – with interesting outcomes…- but fell out of the daily habit decades ago. I never ever wear foundation or blusher because I immediately look like about ten years older than my actual age. But the real reason is simple – I can’t be arsed. It takes time and effort to put it on, take it off. Last weekend I went shopping for some nail polish and for the first time I realised just how much skin care is now out there. Astonishing.
I haven’t worn make-up for nearly 12 years, apart from a few special occasions. I had I stopped when I was 32 and the first time a guy friend of mine saw me he thought I was ill. How sick is that? That one’s natural face comes to be seen as as deficient. I don’t want to contribute to that. I once read a quote along the lines of “Imagine what else women could do with all the time, energy and money they spend on make-up and beauty products in their lifetimes”. The answer: ANYTHING! I know it’s uncomfortable to hear but the beauty industry is a tool of oppression and I would encourage everyone to stop feeding it, if even just a little bit. Show the world you’re enough.
Standing ovation for this comment right here!
I completely agree, Jacquie! I never read any of the beauty posts- they don’t interest me at all. It is perplexing how many women are so into it, while you would never hear men go on like that about beauty products! And the money! And the time! Definitely something that deserves to be pondered, after all.
I am not sure that is true. My husband blow dries his hair most days (unless he is wearing a ball cap all day / we are camping with no power), I do not. My hair takes me 3 mins (scrunch wet with hair product) My make up takes my literally 3 mins. So we both spend = time daily grooming on a workday. we both looks presentable for our senior level corporate jobs. Would messy hair / rosacea cheeks prevent us from doing our jobs? Of course not, but I do think it would hold us both back. NOTE: it takes my hairdresser an hour to blow dry my hair – that is time i am NOT willing to put into personal appearance. I get tons of compliments on my wild hair from women. Not sure men like it …. but yes you have to draw the line somewhere.
I had not one but two babies after turning 40. I was born in 1979; my eldest arrived in 2023, and my second was born this past February. Both pregnancies were incredibly difficult, but we were also incredibly fortunate: we now have two healthy children. We simply couldn’t afford to start a family any earlier. Or perhaps we only thought we couldn’t. We are both artists and it took us some time to get our foot on the door, I guess. When we finally decided the time was right, we discovered that I have a physical condition—a short cervix—which meant I needed surgery during both pregnancies. Ironically, it’s a complication that would have affected me whether I’d become pregnant in my twenties, thirties, or forties. I have had to keep bedrest for months for both babies and it’s been difficult but we are now a very very happy family of four and we are just so happy. We are so lucky! I can’t believe we almost missed the chance to become parents to these two beautiful boys of mine! All in all… I don’t really know why I’m sharing all of this! I suppose it’s because I’ve always loved COJ, and I’ve always felt oddly connected to both its content and its readers. It just feels like one of those places where sharing something personal somehow makes sense.
That POEM. I just tucked my kids into bed after a day hiking through the woods to a natural waterslide in the Cascade Mountains and am thinking how many times I’ve taken them on adventures and then come home to brush their little teeth and do my best voices as I read. So sweet to have that named and seen.
This is my time to comment, as I grew up in the 60’s during hippy times and never have worn makeup and I had babies at 24, 38, and 42. The long dry spell was not choice, we tried but it just didn’t happen. I was overjoyed at 38 to have our second child, then astounded (and happy) to have another at almost 43. I feel so fortunate to have had all three naturally, as we could never have afforded any medical assistance.
Oh I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing it, Ingrid.
I had babies in 1997, 2004 and 2015 at ages 20, 27 and 38. 3 babies in 3 decades. It is a wild ride.
I’ve not worn makeup except for special events where I wanted to feel fancy for the past 10 or so years. You know what shocked me? One day women in my office were talking about how expensive it all was and how they wished they didn’t have to wear makeup every day to work. And I piped up and said, ‘Well, you don’t have to… I don’t!’ And they all looked at me and literally squinted at my face and that was the moment I realised no one had ever noticed. Here I was thinking everyone might be saying in their heads, ‘Oh there she is, not wearing any makeup, how weird!’ and they’d never even cared.
After reading these comments, I would love to see a feature on readers who have chosen not to wear makeup. (Or does this already exist?)
I don’t wear make up unless it’s a very speci event like someone’s wedding ! I am worried it will ruin my skin in some way and try to focus on skin care instead
Hi Jess. I come from a long line of women who choose not to wear make up. I used to wear makeup for special occasions but even that stopped. Now, for very special occasions (maybe once or twice a year!) I might put on a bit of lipstick and maybe (maybe) a touch of blush (and nothing else). I cannot remember the last time I wore mascara. I feel attractive nonetheless and have very healthy skin thanks to not wearing make up. I’ve also probably saved a small fortune not buying hardly any beauty products. It works for me, but everyone is different.
I like the conversations below. I would love an article, too. I mainly opt out, save some lipstick. When I see what people can do with makeup, it’s weird to me. I watch women on YouTube cover their whole faces in layers of so many different products. It raises so many questions—how much does it cost, aren’t you worried about putting all those chemicals on your skin, how do you not touch your face during the day? Since I never really learned, I am not good at what I want to do, which is to put on mascara. Plus, even when I have worn makeup, it hasn’t been transformative and I don’t look that much better. The idea that women should always be trying to maximize our looks seems to be the underlying message we get in America. Another costly job.
I’m another make up free friend! I’ve hardly ever worn it, and now that I’m almost 42, it’s even less important to me. I clicked on the link to the under eye stick above and had to scroll to understand what it was even for. I’m headed to a family reunion today and I’ll put on some mascara, so I don’t want to suggest I nevvvvver wear it. But generally it’s not something that consumes my thoughts.
Haven’t worn makeup since high school. I suppose I’m lucky that in my field (academia) and social milieu (queer ladies) that’s not unusual. Whenever I wear it (only when forced to, ha, as a bridesmaid) I feel so not myself!
Same! And also on readers who choose not to wax visible upper lip hair, etc…
Would especially be interested in hearing from people with acne. Still suffering from it in midlife (despite all the derm appts etc!) and when people say they never wear makeup it feels like such an immense and unrelatable privilege to have skin that wouldn’t attract negative attention without makeup!
I also dont wear makeup anymore, I am 45. I used to and then during covid- I am an nurse practitioner- I stopped wearing it in an effort to not create a situation where I would need to touch my face, I felt like mascara was always getting in my eye. Anyhow, I just never went back. And I don’t miss it. I moisturize my skin and wear chapstick/sunscreen. I think it has been a broader evolution in myself in decentering men /male gaze/patriarchal beauty standards and dressing/being for myself alone. I try to ask now, what feels good to me? and I do that.
I’m another makeup free friend! I stopped wearing it during a long international trip because it just felt like too much to pack, and never went back… that was about 15 years ago (although for my wedding 4 years ago I threw on a swipe of mascara). It feels freeing!
AES, I’m in my thirties with bad acne. I almost always have big spots on my chin and cheeks, often those big lumpy ones under the skin that actually alter the shape of your jawline…it’s not fun. But I don’t wear makeup often at all! The most I’ll do is brush some loose powder over the lower half of my face to give a sprinkling of coverage, but it doesn’t hide the fact that I have acne. I just…am who I am. And while I am self-conscious about my skin, I just don’t have the energy to – quite literally – keep up appearances for…potentially ever. Solidarity:)
The meatball sub comment has me in stitches!! 😂😂😂
Same. All I wanted when I was pregnant with my first was an Italian deli sandwich (and is what my first meal post delivery was). Now the kid’s name is Sam/Sammy. Oops. We only think we are in control 😂
I work on a very small team, of which 5 employees are women. Only 1 of us wears makeup on the team. I love that I never feel like I have to present a certain way – I do light makeup for public facing events, but day to day I never wear it. I feel really grateful that I didn’t even realize this was a novelty until I read this post!
As a 36 year old in the IVF trenches, don’t assume you can wait until your 40s. I started TTC when I was 34. My gyno told me that she expected me to get “knocked up” within months. Here I am nearly two years later.
Also struggling with infertility and really not sure how that article, especially the comment about how people always wonder if she needed IVF and she doesn’t see why it matters. I think it was meant as anti-stigma but the fact that she doesn’t say (which is nobody’s business of course) maybe perpetuates the stigma or othering of people who need treatment to conceive. When we started trying to conceive, I really thought I’d be fine with however it goes, but that’s just not true for me anymore. Good luck to you!
Good luck on your ivf journey!
Seconding this. We started trying at 28 and are now approaching 40 with no baby and no answers. Thankfully, we’ve been fortune enough to afford IVF the last 4 years, but even that isn’t the silver bullet we hoped it’d be. Sending you baby dust, Carly!
I’m glad I’m not alone in my response to this article! Yes, SOME women can get and stay pregnant spontaneously in their 40s but that isn’t the case for most of us. (40, trying since 36…) I don’t think it’s in bad faith but I did find this essay a bit glib and unintentionally misleading. I also feel like articles like this both expose and further the idea that older people can “just do IVF” to get pregnant. Before I started with all this I think I thought that on some level too- I was genuinely flabbergasted to learn than the biggest factor in IVF success rates is age. Oh to be that naive again! Good luck to everyone going through it. 4th egg retrieval at our 3rd clinic tomorrow!
I had a baby after 40 and nearly died as did my daughter. I’d say I’m learning to hold two things at the same: that it was harder physically and mentally than I could have ever known and had I known, I’d not have done it, AND that my child is the treasure of my heart and I can’t imagine life without her. Also rolling from postpartum into perimenopause is kicking my ass, whew.
How funny, I am making chilled vegetarian borscht right now and I am not familiar with Eben Moss’s recipe, so will take a look! Reading this post while waiting for my beets to cool…
It seems a little unrealistic to write a story about having babies in your 40s without having a single one of them ultimately need ART (assisted reproductive technology). While there are lots of examples of women in their 40s having babies (Anne Hathaway, Usha Vance – with Hathaway acknowledging that she struggled with infertility), the reality is that it is very hard to conceive at that age, and women in their 40s should not expect to just “get pregnant” without assistance, especially with their first. Stories like these mislead women into thinking they have infinite time to build their families, when the physiologic and medical reality is not quite so reassuring.
I know 3 different women in their 40s who have had babies, all without ART. I don’t think most women think they have infinite time. I waited until I was in my late 30s and that was very much a conscious choice with full understanding that it may not happen for me.
@ellekim As a woman who has conceived and given birth to two healthy children in my 40’s, I actually wish I had had more knowledge and empowerment about a women’s body. Trust me, we’re inundated from a young age that late age pregnancy is NOT NORMAL. We’re taught to fear, our bodies, the ticking biological clock etc. I did not get married until I was 39 and was fully resigned to the fact that it was too late for me. I wish I had known what was possible and that the “normal” has been shifting. I sought direction and wisdom from my OB and a fertility specialist but, ultimately was able to conceive naturally with both of my babies – one born when I was 43, one at 45…two months ago. Giving women hope is never a bad thing and encourage fertility knowledge, health and awareness.
Thanks for pointing this out Elle. There are serious considerations when choosing pregnancy later in life, including the health of the baby, as the risks are much higher as a woman ages. I don’t want to be discouraging, but there are risks, especially if you are not a millionaire with your own medical team supporting you.
An article is not unrealistic because it doesn’t throughly cover every related aspect of a subject, and women are not so easily misled. Most women understand fertility is finite, and sometimes fickle. It’s also not solely dependent on age.
Agree with Aliison! I thought I was in peri, not pregnant. Society acts like it’s near impossible to get pregnant in your 40s….but it’s actually not for many of us. My heart goes out to those who struggle with infertility, but I really dislike the discourse that women need to get pregnant at 30, or not at all.
I don’t know a single woman who believes she has infinite time to conceive. On the contrary, it is almost a ceaseless anxiety among my friends who wish to have children but haven’t yet (mid-30s, if it matters, although I’d say the anxiety sets in much earlier than this age). If anything, this article and comments from other readers here feels like a massive comfort and reminder that we aren’t doing something wrong just because this is the season motherhood has come into our lives.
Bless you! I also know many women who conceived and birthed children after 40 (and cancer!), they delivered vaginally and many did so at home. I hear your concern for the health and safety of women and their babies. I think we all share that. Good relationships with care providers, regular well-care, and conception planning are vital to ensure that women can welcome children when it’s safe and wonderful to do so.
Yes, seriously. There are very real risks that are specifically tied to age. It’s not fear mongering, it’s not discouraging women, it’s not reinforcing the ticking biological clock metaphor, it’s science. I never wanted kids and continue to not want kids and can’t even imagine having kids so I get my perspective is obviously shaped by that. It sounds really isolating to be 65 at your kids high school graduation.
I love that resume poem. I read that before but can’t remember where. Thanks for the reminder. I’m crying. It’s beautiful. That last line about the mountains and the ocean. Sob as Jo says. I’d do it all over in a heart beat.
Currently 44 and pregnant …after my first baby at 42! It’s totally doable :)
I have worn mascara from approx. 18 (my mother was dead (and I really mean superdead) against it and then some blush until 25. I spend so so so much unnecessary money (from my pov) on putting colours on my face! I am flabbergasted to imagine the amount and what I could have done with it instead. Travel! A dog! A skateboard! A sign language course! Imagine how we would feel if our eyes and ears would be in 0 contact with advertising for 4 weeks! What would our brains tell us then ? I did not wear make-up the last 23 years and it makes being spontaneous so much easier, and I look how I really look, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I looked and felt brilliant, and also there were days where I thought, why do mirrors exist. I kept this also during my corporate jobs as head of department. And here, simply because it is joyful, beautiful women: https://www.instagram.com/p/DV7CEUqEWIQ/ https://www.instagram.com/p/DWg2_64CBO1/ https://www.instagram.com/p/DJ_uvRTOYrA/ https://www.instagram.com/p/DOE8FarkuMb/?img_index=1 (I think applicable to any topic: We don’t need any examples: Be the first to do it.) https://www.instagram.com/p/DOd1neWjvla/ https://www.instagram.com/p/DSC1V01Ddd9/ https://www.instagram.com/p/DU8J5ZAjB_d/ Wishing you a happy weekend!
Thank you for these wonderful links, Ava!
LOVED these, thank-you Ava!
Thanks! These were fun to see
Ava, thank you for this beautiful gift. Your thoughts, the clicks, all provoking and wondrous. This made my day. PS I don’t wear makeup either. It’s just freedom for me – never worry about how it’s holding up, or the 5 minutes to put on and again take off. No time to shop for it. No worries if I’m using the right thing in the right way. No expense! And I can rub my eyes at will lol, or cry! I love what you said about looking how you really look, it’s an act of self love.
Thank you for sharing these links!
Best post ever! Thank you. Another makeup free woman who is proud of her face. J
I feel like I am having a mid life crisis – and the only thing that could possibly make things better (my brain is annoying when it says things like this) was to go blonde (Yes I know – huge cost and lots of time looking after it it)… I have lots of serious allergies so the hairdresser wisely did a patch test – three weeks later the chemical burn (even though organic dye) is still there. So I will not dye my midlife crisis away. But on the topic of older mums, I was 38 so heading there but my nan gave birth to my dad aged 55 – and she did it at the midwife’s house in a small town. Because of her I thought childbirth was going to be a piece of cake…. seems how you give birth is not inherited (but thin hair is).
I’m so sorry about the chemical burn! Wishing you quick healing
I love that you accidentally named your baby after a meatball sub. That’s so sweet. 🥹
I had my baby at 45, a week shy of my 46th birthday, having decided 45 was my cut-off for trying (IVF and in the end, donor eggs). When we started, that felt like an unimaginable choice, but if you are reading this and thinking whether you do it, I can tell you that I never feel that it is not my child. Some things are harder and some things are easier. It didn’t seem like my pregnancy was necessarily harder than those younger, but I think they may have more energy than me for running after the toddler (menopause and toddler at same time is a bit wild). We are in a different phase of life to my kids’s peers – we are not still building our careers, we’re more concerned with saving for retirement than trying to buy a house. We were very close to having a life of free time, easy and frequent travel and doing whatever we wanted to do. I do miss that AND I am so glad that now we get to travel with our kid and introduce them to doing the things we love. They are growing up so quickly and I want to enjoy as much as I can.
Wow, this comment was meant for me today. We’ve been in the IVF trenches for nearly 10 years and I’m about to turn 40. Never in a thousand years did I think this would be my lift, but now we’re grappling with some impossible choices. We have one embryo left but after yet another early miscarriage this week, we’re realizing that donor eggs are realistically our best chance of success. I’m grieving the loss of a biological child, but ultimately our desire to be parents is stronger that our desire to pass along my genetics. Thank you for giving me a glipse of what life could look like on the other side.
Christina’s comment is the cutest most heart warming thing!
I get styes every time I wear eye makeup, so I don’t wear it. Sometimes it feels like a loss but mostly I think it’s good. Also, there are lots of microplastics in makeup, which can be unhealthy during pregnancy, so I do think it’s easy that I already wasn’t wearing it.
I’m sorry, but could someone please tell me what it means to get “styles” when you were I makeup? I have never heard this expression.
Oh, Anon! Micah wrote “styes,” not styles. And now that I’m replying, I actually don’t know how to describe them lol. It’s like a swollen, irritated eye, that can get itchy and puffy. Usually due to dirt/chemicals that irritate the eye/eye lid. (Not a doctor here! Maybe google it : )
Sure! A stye is a bacterial infection in your eyelid caused by things like makeup, sweat, and dirt. If you google “stye” you can see pictures! Red, painful, itchy, and take a week or two to go away. Not worth it for me!
For Anon: a stye (not style, as autocorrect so badly wants it to be!) is an uncomfortable little bump on your eyelid or under eye that’s caused by a bacterial infection. It’s not normally serious but it can be really unpleasant.
42 and pregnant (for the 2nd time) over here. Go older moms! We got this.
42 and pregnant for the first time ever! My mother also died (and my brother) and it turned a NO into a YES. I was waiting on my BRCA testing during Covid and it really challenged me to think about my future. I realized I needed my family to be fuller.
Congratulations Jac! I went through a phase of being boggled at the idea that the only way to recreate the sense of family I so enjoyed as a child now that so many loved ones had died was to grow my own new family members. Like duh, that’s the way it’s been forever, but still kinda odd to think about!
Jac, similar experience here. After the loss of a family member, my “I don’t know” turned to a big fat “yes.” Just found out I’m pregnant with my second this week!
Oh my gosh, my mom died when I was 36 and about six month later, I had this new and persistent desire to become a mom. I wrote it off as grief doing weird things to my brain, but nope. Three years later and the feeling is stronger than ever.
That is such a beautiful wish, Jac: “I realized I needed my family to be fuller.” Wonderful.
There’s a fantastic interview with Ayo and Don Cheadle on the In My Opinion podcast with Michelle Obama: https://playbill.com/video/imo-nbsp-podcast-with-michelle-obama-ayo-edebiri-don-cheadle
In the last 12 years, I’ve worn makeup three times (each time as a bridesmaid). I’ve gotten jobs, dated, traveled, been photographed, all without having to use makeup. I don’t enjoy applying it and I’m much too cheap to pay for it, so I’m so happy, every day, that I don’t feel like I have to use it.
It definitely is a relief when you decide to give it up! I remember the days when I wouldn’t leave the house without mascara on lol.
I’m sooo curious to know more, about this, about you, about everything! (as someone who is very much against the idea of women feeling like they need to wear makeup, yet who rarely leaves the house without it on…)
Emilie – I think the pandemic and becoming a mom really broke me of the need to be fully made up. I wear a little makeup most days for work, but not near as much as I used too, and I also have zero problem going into the world with zero makeup on anymore. When I do wear a fuller face of makeup it is a lot more fun now!
We’re socialized to make ourselves attractive to heterosexual men. The male gaze. All our clothes, high heels, makeup, plastic surgery, etc. The idea of plastic surgery revolts me. Getting sliced into so old creeps think I’m hit still? No thank you. I am still shocked by how much I’ve aged some days, especially when I am tired. But I want to show the youths of tomorrow that you can be an awesome mostly hetero kickass woman and not have to be a princess. I was socialized literally not to leave the house without makeup. I was a beautiful girl. I actually regret so many things I’ve done and spent in the name of getting a brief ego boost from someone that I could care less about finding me sexually attractive. Once I separated the two-which I feel I have, I felt so different. The other day I was pulling into my disabled parking spot (literally cause by stress from men, ha!) I saw a young woman toddling into Whole Foods with like 6” platforms that she couldn’t walk in and she and her bf were like inching to the door. I couldn’t help myself but laugh. She looked ridiculous and I mean this in the nicest way. I also think K Jenner’s facelift and everything at 67 or whatever- why would you want to look like that at your age? I just don’t get it. I’m scared of anesthesia and surgery, though.
I never use makeup either. Many people I know don’t, except for maybe a little mascara. And I don’t even use that – maybe twice or thrice the past 10 years. It’s just a non-issue, nobody has ever said anything to me about it.
Also not a big makeup wearer (I occasional swipe on blush stick if I’m looking pale). I like seeing the same face in the mirror regardless of activity or time of day!
PREACH and came here to say the exact same thing!! Haven’t worn makeup in probably 8-10 years, excluding – at a few black tie weddings – a swipe of mascara and lipstick. I’m also white and able-bodied and hetero-coupled etc etc so I have a lot of privilege that enables me to get by au naturel. But whooooo baby, I LOVE not dealing with it at all!!
Hi Kkkristine – it’s so nice to hear that someone else is make up free. I’ve never been comfortable in makeup but as I’m getting older I do feel like I get more comments from people about my choice “e.g. you’re so brave”.
I’ve never worn makeup a day in my life. I tried it when my friends did as teenagers but I thought I looked ridiculous.
It is very refreshing to hear other women express these ideas.. And Kim, I understand how you feel about plastic surgery. It kind of depresses me that every celebrity’s forehead looks exactly the same. Botox and fillers are the normal now and a natural forehead with some lines is surprising to see. I am here to say that I celebrate individuality; I love the lines that share the history of your life. Cosmetic procedures make me feel like I am apologizing for my age, ashamed of who I really am. Maybe it is hard to go against all the pressure, especially when one starts to see real signs of age on one’s face, but I want to embrace each stage of life and not waste my time trying to hold on to an age that has passed. I want to be healthy, I want to learn more, I want to grow.