Have a Delicious Weekend.

Ha ha, yes! Same here!

Haha me too! I feel like reading this blog is a bit of a cultural opening to life in the US!

Oh Clara, it’s so hard! I’d honestly start to think of it like a gym routine for your brain and mental health. The situations that can cause anxiety only get bigger, unfortunately. Can you try out some new practices and see what works for you, the same way you might try out a gym routine or class? And if you find some that you enjoy or at least tolerate, remember—just like a workout. It takes a while to feel competent at accepting anxiety and finding the right tools for you. Best of luck!

As a graduate of IVF school I feel your anxiety Clara. My only advice is – fully pack your days with activities and seeing people. Distraction is key! Art exhibitions, lunches out, long walks, shopping if only to browse. I found it much easier to take my mind off the worry/hope/impatience combo being physically out of the house.

Hi Clara! I just came through this with my first (I’m now 12 weeks and on my way to my second OB appt) and I would say TELL SOMEONE. I had two best friends who I told in addition to my husband as soon as I got that positive pregnancy test and they were a balm for me as I waited for that first appt, especially bc one was also pregnant with her first. I don’t know why we’ve stigmatized it so much, waiting until 12 weeks to tell the world, tell whoever you want! I’m 35 and this is my first and I was like, you know what, I’m going to do what I want so I’ve been telling everyone for over a month now and it just is so FUN. It has reduced my anxiety and just filled my life with joy bc there is nothing better than sharing GOOD NEWS. Hooray for you!

This community never disappoints! Bless you, and thanks – you helped me decide that I will tell my friend today, just so I can chat about it with someone who understands it more than my husband, who (bless his heart) tries but just doesn’t fully get it :)

I do that too :)

Good news – this is a series! The first one is The Murder of Mr Wickham! Start there (The Perils of Lady CdB is number 3 in the series)

Thank you for pointing to Louise Erdrich, this comment could have been written by me. My daughter also loved the Little House books, and I introduced Louise Erdrich’s Birchbark House series, which led to many good conversations about experiences other than our own and is at least a little bit responsible for my daughter’s interest in nature. I am a big fan of Louise Erdrich, and my daughter and I visited her Birchbark bookstore in Minneapolis!

Yes yes yes! We started with Little House and were so thrilled to find the Birchbark House series (my kids liked that series even better!) and had so many rich conversations from these books.

Isn’t it just? I’d love a thoughtful post on the topic too!!

I would love to hear about this too. My marriage is hanging on by a thread. We are in couples counseling and we are both fighting hard to make things work but, occasionally, I wonder why exactly I’m trying so hard. Because it seems complicated to part ways, especially with kids? Because I’m way more dependent on him financially than I would like to admit? Because society says I would be failing at something and even though I know that’s not really true it’s a hard concept to shake? Because starting over again seems daunting?

It would be so encouraging for me to read more stories like this! We just filled out divorce papers and I wake up daily feeling like I’m living a nightmare. Our marriage was very difficult so my rationale brain knows there are positives to this choice but I am still so scared and sad, particularly because I am older and still want children.

No one has figured it out. I could write a book on this. I once heard of a therapist who worked with a client with the same problem. She told the client to ‘imagine a clean, orderly house and then notice that no one else lives in that home with you and ask yourself if you really want to live there.’ I’ve reflected on this so many times, and my answer is: ‘Yes! I really do want to live there!’ I am much more at peace with the situation now because 1) my children are adults and have moved out (and they both complain to me about messy roommates), I hired a professional to clean my house every other week, I leave my retired husband a list of things to clean, and (this is the most important part) I have given up!

I relate, Annie!!! The laundry/dishes/chaos piles never slow down, the recycling is somehow ALWAYS full/overflowing, and the bathrooms!!! While a lot of my friends do have help, I actually think (maybe?) this perpetually state of semi/full chaos is pretty normal? We’re bombarded with photos of beautifully staged homes at every turn on social media these days, which I think can create a perception that everyone is living like that. Not the case for me at least! It sounds like your home is bustling with love and energy and sometimes that takes the form of a dusty bookcase and stack of junk mail :)

Hi Annie! Try this site for one answer to your question about keeping a home clean. https://bemorewithless.com/ Also, I definitely read this on CoJ and wished I had framed chores like this with my now 18-year-old. Instead of giving kids lists of chores, you can ask, “What do you think needs to be done?” and ask them to do that. This takes away some of the mental load of writing and begging for things to be done, plus it encourages them to evaluate and take ownership. Maybe one of the CoJ can find the source of this?

Also, I first learned of Cup of Jo through https://bemorewithless.com/

No advice here, but solidarity – two teens/tweens, two working parents, no pets but a small urban house. It’s impossible to keep up with the clutter! I love seeing the same at other people’s houses because it feels so real to me! Oftentimes we’ll have a cleaning event that the kids get really into – my son plays a character he calls Cleaning Bot – and we blast a particular playlist that is motivational and upbeat. We have a cleaning lady who does a deep clean once a month, and that works very well. We have no time to deep clean ourselves, and the days before she arrives we are forced to tidy up the floors. Then when she’s done the house is sparkling… for a good few days

The article about the new show makes it pretty clear it’s not MAGA coded, I think!

In my personal experience of living in different houses sometimes in a spotlessly clean house and sometimes in a house that did not feel tidy even for a day, even for an instant – first and foremost the house design needs to align with your needs.. can’t win over a bad/misaligned designed house.. then, it’s a matter of everyone pitching in, making it a habit to live in kind of tidy space, but if you really want to live in a clean home, then it never gets too too messy – a well designed, well organised space needs about 15 minutes to get back to tidy again and about two hours for the deepest clean. Would love to hear how others answer!

Loved Yesteryear! I have a houseful. My teen bonus twins, my adult daughter, and my four year old grandson four days a week. I am a reformed clean-nut. Now I tell them to close their doors, and the door to their bathroom. I demand our living room / kitchen area stay picked up, and my bedroom is my oasis. I only clean things out if they are making me insane – the junk drawer, crumbs in the other drawers, or the fridge really needs it. I HAVE to let the rest go or I will go crazy. It’s been a really good lesson.

You may find great benefit in checking out the many great podcast episodes of The Lazy Genius, or her book

I am just finishing up Yesteryear, and was enthralled with it. So many things to think about and talk about! I can’t decide what I think about most of the women in the story. Re: Housework, I do my best, but it never ends, and is that how I want to spend my wild and precious life? It is not. I will say it all gets much easier when the kids go to college, as many things do. FWIW, I used to vow I would never hire someone else to clean my house, as if I was superwoman or something, but now I wonder what the point of that way, and what I was trying to prove. If I had the money today I would do it in a heartbeat. There are plenty of people who houseclean for a living, do it way better than I ever could, and who would love to have the business.

I think some people have the house cleaning/organizing “gene” and some don’t. I’ve never figured it out either. But I could usually keep kitchen half decent. Now with my full-time job even that is falling by the wayside. I never did dust much and I mean very rarely. For one thing I refuse to spend my precious free time tending to these matters. Even when I worked very part time though, it just wasn’t a priority for me. My friends and some relatives’ homes are spotless. I have no answers, just major solidarity ! I started organizing my bedroom March 2025 thinking it would help me feel organized starting my new job after a blissful 2.5 years not working. I got half done and have yet to revisit it. Shrug emoji.

Hi Annie! I didn’t do this when my kiddos were younger but I wish I had. My friend’s brother, wife and kids had one set evening a week that they all cleaned and organized. They turned on music and everyone cleaned for 2-3 hours. It motivates the kids to try to keep things a little neater throughout the week so the cleaning night was easier for them. After cleaning it was pizza and card games. I think this is brilliant and wish I thought of it.

Hey Annie! About the house…I live in a 1BD apt in Brooklyn and cannot keep it clean. I feel insane! I’m learning to accept that this is ok, because I love my dog and we are busy living life. I hope that makes you feel better. Oh and another tip: our one non-negotiable is we clean the kitchen counter before bed. That makes me feel slightly better!

We hire someone to come every week and it’s still chaos. Part of it is I’m just too exhausted to care, and the other part is I chafe at the notion that my house needs to look some kind of way. Tweens live here! I live here! There’s going to be clutter and mess and that’s ok. Honestly, if I walk into a house—especially a house with kids—and it looks like something out of a catalogue or a magazine, I’m instantly freaked out. Those are not my people. Lean into the mess Annie! Make friends with the other chaos families! Were fun, I swear! We’ll clean when the kids move out.

I struggled for YEARS to keep a clean house and could never figure what other people did to keep their houses from being a cluttered mess. However, I discovered some minimalist and decluttering groups. It turns out that the secret is to declutter your home until it feels manageable. After 3 years of ongoing decluttering, I can say that I love being in my house and it takes no longer than 10-20 minutes to have it ready for guests. The biggest help to me has been this youtube channel. Wishing you all the best https://youtube.com/@theminimalmom?si=kMa3VyMBo1k_Cnpv

Annie: one does not keep a clean, organized house, at least thus far. I’m not very good about giving my kids chores, but sometimes I’ll set a 10 minute timer and assign everyone a space. What helped me feel sane was figuring out where my line of sight goes when I enter a room and keeping that area in order vs the entire room. I also try really hard to pare down the amount of crap we own, but this has varying success rates.

Our trick is “clean as you go!” We rarely let dishes pile up, we tidy a little each afternoon or evening. Somebody might run a quick vacuum. Our kids are typically expected to pick up their stuff when done (especially in common areas). We just dust, wipe down, clean toilets when they look dirty or dusty. So it’s a little each day and just maintaining it. We both work and have 2 tween boys. I will say kids rooms can get more cluttered, so that’s one where we have to remind or just say, “You’ve got to put these Legos and laundry away before doing anything else.” We like it because the cleaning is less overwhelming and you get to have a tidy home most of the time! I feel like this only works for us though because both of the adults in the house are into maintaining the clean space.

I’ve kind of given up on keeping house lol. Well, keeping things tidy is super helpful. We taught our kids from a very early age that everything has its place and after finishing an activity, the space must be tidied up. It keeps things feeling manageable. So, if you pick up that stack of books arranged just so on the piano bench, you will absolutely see a perfect outline in dust, but…who’s picking that up and judging me?! We are very rural and so only entertain a handle of times a year, which is when the house gets cleaned top to bottom. And I try not to look around too much! It works.

I both accept that my house will never be as clean and neat as I’d like it until my kid(s) are out, and hire a housecleaner. She only comes every other week, but it’s a huge boost. I would consider which aspects of hiring help to clean the house make you uncomfortable, and if there are ways to address. You can find well-paying cleaning companies that offer healthcare etc, if you live in any reasonably sized city. And if its the asking for help part, well….think on it.

OK, first of all, I didn’t realize how much I would love to see some cleaning/organizing posts here, so thanks for bringing this up! I don’t have kids, so YMMV, but here’s what I started doing: I made myself a big list of all the non-daily chores I could think of (things like dishes, wiping counters, etc. were excluded as I do them when needed, which is usually daily). Then I color-coded the tasks in my list based on how often I thought they needed done (e.g., organizing the garage needs to be done less often than vacuuming). THEN I made myself a spreadsheet with a cell for each day of the year, & dropped in a task per day, making sure weekly tasks show up weekly & quarterly tasks show up quarterly, etc. Now each day my husband & I address the task of the day (& still maintain the other more frequent things like dishes/trash/sweeping/etc.). Having a schedule that requires a single task per day has really helped! A task a day usually feels doable, & I’m also routinely doing things before they get to be too much. I know all of the things I want to do will show up on my chart eventually so unless I have guests coming over, I just ignore most things until they pop up on the chart, which helps with the brain clutter. Honestly it took a lot of work up front to make my list & sort everything out, but after doing this for a few years now, I know it’s made a big difference. Hope this helps :) PS. We also don’t have a cleaner & barring any changes in our health or work schedules, I can’t see us ever going that route — I’m also not comfortable with it for a whole ton of reasons, so I understand what you mean! PPS. For a great nuanced take on Laura Ingalls Wilder’s life, may I recommend the podcast episodes that The History Chicks did about her life?

Cleaning has become easier the more clutter I get rid of. I read one of Dana K White’s books “Decluttering ay the Speed of Life” and have been continuing to go through things with the company of YouTube videos on the topic. I think more people struggle with this than you expect, so please don’t feel like youre the only one!

Update: it looks like the first book of hers was read was actually “How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind,” which seems very relevant! I recommend the audiobook.

Check out the Minimal Mom – some great ideas. Don’t have many cups, mugs, dishes; too easy to pile up before tackled and then a chore. I didn’t know anyone to is hiring help – but do know a lot who have really cut down on things that accumulate on counters and also cut flat surfaces that attract piles. She has great ideas if you’re tired of the clutter and ready to make a change.

Annie, grab your vacuum, I mean this kindly, but, the harsh reality is that your home probably has too much stuff. Life happens, things pile up, and with that many people on deck there’s bound to be a lot of things. Less is more. Purge. Buy consciously. Make a routine and flow with it. Assign tasks to days, laundry, too. Buy lovely baskets to heap eyesore clutter, keep cleaning supplies accessible by rooms, make lists of the things you want to tackle and hold yourself and all participants accountable, teach yourself and your family how to take a little time throughout the day to make things feel right and look nice. Let your partner and children learn how to wash their clothes, and run the dishwasher. One honey bee doesn’t take care of the entire hive. The more sprinkles of a cleaning routine throughout the week, the less daunting bigger tasks will become. Make cleaning feel easy. That’s it.

Don’t worry! The new Little House is not MAGA-coded. It’s also not “woke.” (Though I suppose one will see what one wants to see…) The creator and writers (my best friend being one of them) were actually striving to humanize a range of families on the prairie at that time. Depending on your political leanings, you can use it as a launchpad to discuss all the -isms (Colonialism, racism, sexism, feminism, etc.) with your children, or you can just enjoy a show about family (marriage, sibling rivalry, friendship, building a community). I watched it with my 9yo son (who had initially refused, assuming it was a “girl show”) and he was hooked immediately. I was thrilled that he was into a show with a female protagonist, so I threw out our usual screen time rules and watched the whole series in 3 days. (It’s rare that he and I share the same taste in tv shows!!!) You might consider giving it a try…

This is the method that works for me, milage may vary! I’m ruthless about getting rid of belongings we don’t need, and try to keep unnecessary stuff out of the house in the first place. I think having a manageable amount of stuff is just as important as having a place for said stuff. Kids do their own laundry, and help with other chores, I keep moving on small cleaning tasks so it doesn’t pile up, and pets aren’t allowed in the house. Ha, five kids is enough mess for me!

Hi Annie – this may sound judgmental, and I promise you it is not. It sounds like you have too many “things” and you’re not feeling like there is space to breathe (eg, a clear countertop). I’ve had to work through my own narratives around hiring help, but once I did – my life is so much better. I am simply unwilling to spend my non-working, non-parenting hours cleaning. It brings me no joy to clean, but it brings me so much joy to have a clean home. Hiring a cleaner (who only comes every 3 weeks) has been such a big help. I also recently invested in a robovac/mop – also incredible. The rest of the clutter is on me and my family. I’ve gotten RUTHLESS about what is allowed to stay in the home. At the minimum, if “surfaces” are cleaned up once a day, that feels good enough to be. (the robovac helps with encouraging the kids to clean up the floors of their detritus – if it’s on the floor, it may get “eaten” by the vac!) Best of luck in figuring out your process. For me – hiring the cleaner was a big, big value-add. And the easiest thing to outsource in this situation.

I read a tip from a mom of four that she swears by for keeping clutter at bay. Every day, she sets a timer for ten minutes and the whole household rushes to clean up as much as they can for ten minutes. Try it!

OMG I feel you on the organization pains!! We have two teens and a tween, two working parents, and one pet! I try to keep my bedroom and home office as sort of safe, soft places – mostly by decorating with all white, having candles around, etc. The rest of the house feels like constant entropy (my husband’s term lol) and instead of trying to control the chaos, with books/sports stuff/random junk always around, I’m honestly just trying to learn to accept it ha ha. We do have chore lists for the kids but it’s hard to enforce esp during the summer! Little House – I’ve watched a few episodes and I find it very sweet and charming! I didn’t read it as MAGA-coded. Hope you try it out and enjoy it! Yesteryear – I am down to my last few pages and have mixed feelings I guess but am glad to have read it just to be part of the zeitgeist. Many in one of my book groups have read it and we’ve been discussing it off and on as well.

I definitely haven’t figured it out! Maybe Instagram/social media makes it seem like everyone’s houses are in perfect order. I bet most people’s houses are more messy than not … Also, I’ve seen friends with “perfect” houses and I think it drives them crazy where they can’t truly relax. I’m working on letting go of shame with the mess. Just recently googled to see if anyone else’s house got extra messy during their luteal phase and this Reddit post made me feel better! Hugs! Give yourself some grace <3 You're doing great! https://www.reddit.com/r/PMDD/comments/q1ghuw/pmdd_and_a_messy_house/

Not sure I have the answer but get the KC Davis book “How To Keep House While Drowning” for a perspective shift on the whoolllle thing. (It’s a quick read, not a tome, I swear – it’s super popular in ADHD communities if that tells you anything!) The struggle is real! Rooting for ya, mama <3

Dear Annie, I have decided (for my own sanity) that no one has it all figured out. They are likely throwing things into cupboards and doing a mad sweep before guests walk in. For my flat and it is only myself and my husband, I do a bigger clean on a Wednesday morning when I WFH and my husband is in the office, and then another reset on Sunday so everything is in order for Monday. Though I will confess that there is ironing awaiting my return tonight and I really hope my husband has washed the floors this morning whilst I am in the office…

Dana K White, ‘How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind’ is your answer :) Her YouTube is a treasure trove too.

I have “just” one 12 yo child and she is staying with my mom for 10 days a couple states away. We have a housecleaner who comes once a month and she came this past Thursday. It is now Monday morning. Last night my husband remarked that it has been 3 WHOLE DAYS since the housecleaner came and THE HOUSE STILL LOOKS GOOD!! haha! Usually it only remains ‘looking good’ for a whopping 24 hours after the housecleaner leaves. Even the dog hair seems less at the moment. So, yea. It is not just you. Even with a housecleaner the house looks cluttered and MESSY the day after the housecleaner leaves due to The Trail of Things my daughter leaves behind her wherever she walks. We consistently ask her to pick up her things, but sheesh, it is TOUGH. We are relishing the next few days we have of being able to keep the house looking good, among other things. ;-)

Our house is messy! I work part-time and it’s still messy! I cannot believe how often I have to mow the lawn. My husband is against hiring most vendors (his parents were do it yourself-ers growing up) and we have the teens do assigned chores and keep their rooms clean. I purge and donate twice a month. We are in the phase where we’ll be empty nesters very soon so it really doesn’t bother me anymore. Would I have a last minute hang like Jo, though? Not to that level :)

As a person whose family comes from the service industry I am a strong advocate of hiring cleaning and household care companies whenever possible. It helps you stay sane and it helps other people! (yes, you need to find reasonable companies but often self employed people are in these industries and do great work!) There is zero shame in hiring out and even my aunt who was a housecleaner hired someone to clean her own house because she said that cleaning your own house feels much harder than the job of cleaning other people’s houses!

At our house it has always been a disagreement about what constitutes ‘dirty’ or ‘clutter.’ Bless my sweet husband, but we have different views on when and what to clean. My threshold is really low for crumbs, dirty bathroom, pet hair, gritty sheets, smelly towels. Husband just does not have that as evidenced by his dirty car. Thirty years into this and just accepting that there are some chores I own due to attrition, and others he will step up to. When guests are invited, he definitely spruces up the place to make them comfortable.

This is such an interesting question, and I really think it depends on what your definition of “a mess” or “clean house” or “chaos” or “order” is. We all have different ideas of what that looks like. As an admitted “neat freak,” I get stress relief from cleaning and organizing. My husband, who de-stresses with naps, thinks that’s crazy. Two things changed my views on what a “mess” is though: first was getting a really hairy, sheddy dog. Second was having a baby. My dog is sadly no longer with me, but my son is now 2.5 and I’ve definitely adjusted to what I can handle. Spots on the bathroom mirror? Fine, don’t care. Toys all over the living room every night? Nope! So I just prioritize what matters to me and let the rest go. It really helps to make a very concentrated effort to buy less. The less STUFF we have, the less clutter there is. I often go through and get rid of my own things, and I cull my son’s toys constantly. Ones he doesn’t play with get donated. Ones he might still be interested in go into a “toy library,” aka a big cupboard above his closet. If he wants to “check out” something from the toy library, we exchange something he hasn’t been playing with for the “new” toy. It’s been working well so far for us, but I also acknowledge that this will surely change in time.

Hi Annie, I hear you! Two working parents, one four year old, one dog, and I too find myself on the back foot with a lot of household stuff. I also don’t feel comfortable hiring help (I’m sure I could unpack a lot there), but there are a few things that have helped move the needle for me. 1. Lowering my expectations, and then when I think I’ve sufficiently lowered them, to lower them some more. I apply this to both what my house looks like and to what I’m able to reasonably achieve chore-wise. 2. My husband and I try to do one to two household tasks each weekday so we (mostly) don’t have to do them on the weekend. This means a lot of the deep cleaning/big stuff just isn’t happening at our house right now. 3. Staying aware of how much of an impact seemingly small tasks can have, both for better and for worse. There’s a light and a dark side to doing little things. Light side: how much of a time saver/clutter buster it is to put away bags, lunchboxes, shoes, etc. right when we walk in the door. Dark side: drowning in one small task after another in a If You Give A Mouse A Cookie kind of way. If I’m not careful, I could get lost in these insidious small tasks and forget to actually live. I echo other comments here that it’s much easier to keep things clean when you have less stuff. This is an aspirational goal that is constantly running in the background for me. For those who have mentioned hiring someone to do deep cleaning, can you share what sorts of things they do? As I mentioned above, a lot of the deep cleaning tasks aren’t happening at our house right now, to the point where I’m not sure what “deep cleaning” even means anymore. Curious to know more!

Still figuring this out! I’ve found the Clutterbug framework to be helpful, though. https://clutterbug.me (I discovered Cas through an ADHD podcast and then checked out her book The Clutter Connection from the library.) I discovered that I’m a “bee”–I have “out of sight, out of mind” tendencies, so I need to be able to see my stuff. Knowing this has helped me figure out storage systems that work a bit better for me.

Hi Annie, I work as a professional organizer and move manager. I can confirm that you are not alone! And I can confirm that my home isn’t where I’d like it to be. A few tips: Body doubling is helpful to many clients. If this isn’t a familiar term, I just mean working with someone at the same time on a shared goal. Start with a small project. Preferably something that isn’t sentimental. I find that I have to start and then the momentum comes. Not the other way around. So don’t wait to be motivated and don’t count on this with others. Creating a schedule can be helpful. Group like items whenever possible. This helps you see what you have so you can use up or get rid of duplicates and what you don’t need. Always keep a donation box in process. And get in the habit of dropping things off.

I don’t know why you are hesitant to hire help but if its why I was, I think it is worth interrogating. 1. People who help, its their job, pay them fairly as an employer and it should not be any more awkward than paying an electrician. Unless you think a cleaner is a lowly job. Which, of course, you don’t. And then there is the aspect of being too bougie to clean your own home. But you are already too bougie to milk your own cow, build your own walls, make your own clothes … so where you draw this line of self-sufficiency is arbitrary. In short, if you have the funds, hire any one willing to do anything for you that you cannot or do not want to do. Share your money, and always pay fairly.

Sorry, my message was cut off. Throw grated parm and some olive oil on sandwich 2. Easier: hot buffet! Put out all kinds of toppings so people can pick their own: sauerkraut, mustards, chili, etc. Another buffet is everthing to customize a salad: quartered hard boiled eggs, chopped tomatoes with herbs, olives, etc.

This sounds delicious and simple in the best possible way. Thanks.

Omg the regulars! I LOVE that.

The CoJos. Me like.

Vote goes to The CoJos!

I love the idea of a name! CoJos does make me think of Cujo – anyone else? :)

I like white walls as well, and because i usually do my own painting, i find white easier to work with, more forgiving. :) But … i love seeing how others use colour! And, yes, sometimes it’s just hard to decide and commit lol so white with art work is the way to go.

Same, Tyler!! When I was in my 20’s and we bought our first house I went crazy with paint. Now I love a crisp white wall! It’s refreshing.

Yes, agree! And the Calamity Club is 650 pages so that’s no easy feat. It is so well written and compelling. Such great characters. Unlike Yesteryear, which was poorly written in my opinion and I just didn’t get the point. My book club had plenty to talk about last night when we discussed, but none of us were impressed or gave it a five-star review.

Tinned fish on sourdough with avocado!

I want to second this idea! I am in the process of getting divorced and I’m dreading cooking just for myself. Cooking was how I showed love to others, but the idea of making myself a whole meal is not something I’m looking forward to. I’d love some inspiration!

Not divorced but my husband traveled a lot for work for years. When my kid was small and I was cooking for one I saw it as an opportunity to cook things that I liked but he didn’t: lamb chops, salmon, big salads with combos of my favorites. It can feel like good self-care if you think about what you are craving.

Shrimp cocktail

Steamed mussels and a cold glass of wine.

In my part of the South (Arkansas) the bottled Coke with cane sugar is marketed as Mexican Coke.

Me too. It’s painful for me to walk slower. Recently at a big family reunion, I couldn’t keep pace with how slow the full group walked. I tried to walk slow and kept ending on the next side of the cross walk ahead of everybody else.

It’s definitely me at Costco when my husband tags along. I love him so dearly, but why are we sauntering???

I love this! When my husband and three boys are away, I have tater tots, siracha mayo and red wine

When my kids are with their dad, I make the fanciest beef and mushroom stroganoff I can OR roasted tomatoes and garlic with burrata and toasty bread.

Meeta, mentors are incredible! Mine passed away three years ago, but I will think of her regularly, especially in the workplace we both shared, and I hope that I continue to make her proud with my decisions that she has so clearly influenced in her own way. Mentors in life are invaluable, and I hope we put more time and thought into that practice!

Miss Bates Emma Revisited: A Novel By Catherine Cliff

thank you, juni 🙌

Same! This is so accurate! Ha!!

Ha! Yes, I almost forgot that protocol!

That is so funny, Karen. I was taught to say “my parents are unavailable,” which definitely meant they weren’t home and I was making soupy Kraft Mac n’ cheese on the stove and counting the minutes until TGIF started.

yes same!!

Oh my god, TGIF! Depenga was my style icon.

When my niece (now 18) was about 5 or 6 I taught her to answer the phone with “Hello you have reached the [X} family, how may I direct your call?” It was very sweet while it lasted (not long).

I was very into making up some unhinged hyper specific reason why they ‘couldn’t some to the phone’ to make it ‘more believable’ e.g., my mom is cutting my dog’s toe nails and my Dad is practicing piano, can I take a message?’

I think a number of kids i knew used to say “my mom is in the shower” which now sounds just a little too personal and specific?

I remember being about 8 or 9 and the phone rang whilst my mum was on the toilet. I told whoever was ringing that my mum couldn’t answer the phone because she was on the toilet. After she finished I told her what had happened (I was proud of myself for answering the phone without being told!) and her response was not what I was imagining 😂

Or in the shower! Haha

My little sister once answered the phone and said “my mom can’t come to the phone right now because she is moving her bowels”. Haha.

Growing up military we all knew to answer the phone, “Sgt. James’ quarters, Marshall speaking,” or “Col. Bowman’s quarters, Vicky speaking,” or whatever the case might be. Military brats learn fairly formal manners, if nothing else.