What Conversation-Starting Questions Do You Ask on Dates?
The other day, one of my boys was heading out on a date (new parenting frontier!), and he asked me what he should do if there were an awkward silence. “It’s okay to be quiet sometimes,” I reassured him. “But you can always have some back-up questions ready, if you want.”
I remembered a funny This American Life episode, where people shared loaded questions they ask on first dates. Editor Emanuele Berry asks potential partners what they think of Beyoncé, since “it’s a question that tells you how they feel about a powerful Black woman.” Another woman challenges her dinner dates to name their favorite Tom Hanks movies; she says the question serves as a low-stakes personality test.
On a goofier note, this McSweeney’s middle-of-the-date questionnaire made me laugh out loud. (#3. When the bartender came over, did you put on a little voice, or do you just talk like that?) (#37. Did I take too long in the bathroom, or was it weirdly quick?)
And when we watched Love on the Spectrum, Tanner, a 20-something in South Carolina, asked his date rapid-fire questions about animals: “Do you like lizards?” “Do you like snakes?” “Do you like tortoises?” “Do you like frogs?” “Do you like toads?” “Do you like sharks?” “Do you like jellyfish?” “Do you like octopi?” “Do you like squid?” “Do you like whales?” The sweetest.
Of course, I ended up telling my son my own go-tos — on first dates, I’ve liked asking about favorite movies, sibling birth order, and irrational fears, since those topics often lead to funny stories. He took it all into consideration — and later that night returned home with the news that everything had gone very well. :)
What questions do you ask on first dates? And what dating advice do (or would) you give your kids??
P.S. My sister’s brilliant dating advice, five things that surprised me about divorce, and the sexiest podcast omggggg.
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117 commentsI need your readers help. My 31 year old son is ready to date after focusing on career in his 20’s. Ideas for how to meet young ladies beyond the apps. We’ve discussed an exercise or cooking class, church, eating dinner alone at the bar, putting yourself out there by talking to every random stranger you can i.e. open a dialogue. I need more concrete ideas!
I don’t know if this is first date level but maybe second or third date level. First date would more be: what was your last vacation and what is your next vacation. But my fun question is: If you were going to take a vacation, where are you going and what are you doing? Timeline: Part 1: Weekend Part 2: 1 Week Budget is irrelevant here as it’s fun to dream but you can do this with what their realistic budget as well. Then maybe on a subsequent date, ask If you were going on vacation together, where would we go, what would we do, and why? This will give you an idea of the types of interests they have, what their destination choice says about them (adventurous, cultured, etc.) and if you can gel or visualize yourself travelling with them. (As that’s important to me — another caveat – it can determine if they don’t like to travel and if that meshes with you).
On my first date with my now husband, we went deep on which holidays were the best and worst. We realized we liked all the opposite holidays – which for us was good because it meant we each got to keep our favorites and go with the other for their favorites. He talked a lot about how nice his Thanksgivings were with his extended family. This is not a big holiday in my birth family but now I’ve spent many wonderful Thanksgivings with his (now my) extended family! It’s a great topic because it can be playful, but really give opportunity for someone to talk about their values and views on family!
My first question to my husband was “favorite meal of the day- breakfast, lunch or dinner?” We agreed- breakfast for dinner. The rest is history. :)
On my first date with my now-husband, I was so over the dating scene and so asked absurd questions to keep myself entertained: 1. Who would win in a fight: a zombie squirrel or a zombie falcon? (The follow-up questions are very important!) 2. If aliens landed from outer space and you could only play them one song to introduce them to the Beatles, what would it be and why? Thankfully he found these questions and my passionate push-back charming. For the record, the correct answer to #2 is A Day in the Life. He errantly said Octopus’s Garden…which is now our song, and was our recessional music when we got married at an aquarium.
One of my go to ice-breaker questions is what are your go-to gas station (1) chocolate bar (2) salty snack (3) ice cream treat (4) chewy or crunchy candy. If you just say “favourite _______” it’s easy for them to trot out some fancy Spanish chip or pitch-perfect Tony’s Chocolonely, but at the gas station is where real personality comes out!
This is funny bc I never go into a gas station unless it’s a trip and we need the bathroom while filling up … And never pay gas station prices for that type of snack so I’d have to get past that – like what’s sold there vs somewhere else. I’d be thinking wow this guy is flush to afford buying food in a gas station!! Haha
I am here to report that this list is a gift to parents if teenagers! Last night we were at a restaurant with my two boys, who are lets say less than chatty. My husband was grumbling that they won’t contribute to the conversation so I whipped out this list, and we had a GREAT conversation about our three favorite ways to eat potatoes! Planning to return to this again and again, this post is the new “just add water” parenting hack
Came here to say I’m so so glad Toby had a good time & that it made me tear up remembering that he was so into romance & dates as a little kid (right?!?) and now here he is going on teenage dates! So fun. The sweetest! 😊😊😊
remember this? sobbbb https://cupofjo.com/2015/03/16/in-which-toby-goes-on-a-date/
I just went back to the 4yo Toby date post, and started tearing up at your “love face” looking at your sweet boy, Joanna. Oh how lucky they are to grow up with mama who looks at them like that.
Has anyone seen the film Peter Hujar’s Day? It’s a film about the artist Peter Hujar telling his writer friend, Linda, in minute detail what he had done the previous day. I found it so moving. It’s such a gift to be listened to so closely, to be really seen and cared for. That’s my dream date, being so comfortable you can talk for hours about nothing with little breaks for coffee and snacks.
That’s such a sweet way to prep your son—having a few go‑to questions really does take the pressure off and can turn an awkward pause into a fun story swap. I usually lean on asking about a favorite childhood book or a weird hobby; it’s surprising how often those lead to genuine laughter and reveal a lot about someone’s personality. Thanks for sharing the Tanner animal rapid‑fire bit—I might steal that for my next first‑date icebreaker!
I like asking anyone new, “Who are you in your friend group or family?” As in – are you the party friend? Maybe the friend who everyone can rely on when they need help? The one who gives the best advice? You can learn a lot about someone (and their friend group and family), and you usually get some stories out of their answer!
This gives me an opportunity to bring up Heated Rivalry, which I’m always looking to do (although the fire has tamed….for now haha). I love when Shane and Rose first meet, and she asks him what 8-year-old Shane was like. What did he like to do, what was he feeling, etc. It’s such a nice way to get to know someone and have a sense of their past and how they view themselves. Rose is the GOAT!
But…how is Toby the BABY able to go on a date?!? Seriously! 😭😭😭
I always think of “She’s the man” with Amanda Bynes–“Do you like cheese?” Fair question! I am so grateful to be married to a fellow cheese lover.
Why yes, my favourite’s Gouda!
I love to ask “What’s your favorite thing about yourself?” I find this question excites most people and you learn so much about them. I especially love when they like so many things about themself that they hard time choosing. Also, “What’s your favorite way to feel?” (more specific than happy.) I have asked soooo many people these questions and never get the same answers!
I always ask about favorite books or most impactful books or if they’ve read anything good lately etc. Can learn a lot about someone and also add to your TBR list. Not really an amazing date question per say, but I always need to know how people take their coffee/ tea if they drink it and generally what they like or don’t like to eat. I really feel like I don’t *know* people until I know these things.
Gotta vote for food and drink questions, too! It’s not QUITE as big a deal to me, but answering a sincere question of “What did you eat today?” from one of the foodies in my life has long comforted me. Both intimidate and mundane at the same time, I feel – that seems perfect for a date.
So, my first date question is the same question I use at parties or with new friends and it is “What are your top three ways to eat a potato?” It is WONDERFUL because you get this beautiful patchwork quilt of someone’s life! In my experience, people don’t just say “fried, mashed, baked” but rather, “the steak fries at the local diner where I used to go with my best friend in high school” or “the kettle chips that my aunt would have at her house whenever I went over for sleepovers” kind of thing!! Those details make for the most delicious and juicy first date! Plus, it’s kind of a silly question and everyone needs a little giggle on a first date, am I right!? I used this question on the first date with my husband and I was able to learn that he loves food and had traveled to super interesting places. I also used it with my best friend and we bonded over our love of potatoes!
A tip for neurodivergence I learnt from my lovely. Asking what is your favourite throws a stick in his wheels. He completely jams up with the pressure to name his PERMANENT ALL TIME BEST something. So instead I ask “if you could manifest any dessert right now what would it be?” Or “if there was a jukebox here, what song would you play?”. It leaves space for whims and lowers the very pressure of asking what your literal all time favourite is.
I LOVE this. My anxiety brain gets hives when asked to name favorites for much the same reason — and also because I fear(ed) being low key or not so low key judged for my preferences.
Exactly, Beth. And, if you do it this way you can recycle the questions. Like right this minute I would devour a chocolate lava cake, where as yesterday I wanted nasi goreng. Neither would I describe as my FAVOURITE FOOD. It opens the door to more questions too, it’s cold here today, I feel PMSey, cozy.
I can totally relate to this! If someone asks me about movies I like, I can talk about a lot of different films. If someone asks me my FAVORITE movie…not a single title is coming to mind, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie in my life.
Yes to this! I freeze when someone asks my favorite of anything.
I love this tip so much! Thanks Tracey!
Why have I never thought of this? “If someone asks me my FAVORITE movie…not a single title is coming to mind, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie in my life.” YES KAT me too.
Ah, my kiddo is one of these. I always try to ask “what was one good thing today,” or “what was something annoying today,” or, if I know this is a better fit, “what are your top five [thing]s?”, because picking the top or the most good/bad thing will get him entirely flustered.
Oh Kat, I relate so much to this. What is a movie? 😅
I love asking people “do you have an inner dialogue and what is it like?” and also “how well can you visualize things?” There are so many good follow up prompts (close your eyes and picture a blue apple – what shade of blue? Where is it?) and creates interesting conversations about how each of your brains work. It also tells you a bit about how reflective someone is by asking them to tell you how their brain works in a low-key way, and also how nerdy they are!! (Helps if you are someone who geeks out about brain science.)
Oh wow I love this xo
I love these questions, too! Similarly, I’ve started asking people if they hear a voice when they read (subvocalization) and if yes, is it their own voice? As someone that hears nothing when I read to myself, this blew my mind about other people.
My kiddo’s fifth grade class did projects at the end of the year. It could be on anything they liked (except for slime, which a lot of them are obsessed with, and first-person shooter video games). They’re a pretty weird bunch (and I mean that in the best way possible – I love them!). They had to fill one of those big cardboard tri-folds and also could have props/items on the desk. There were the common ones, like soccer, and baseball, and outer space. But then there was “carrots” and “astrology” and “why people think things are cute” and “weird/mysterious/beautiful houses” and “quail” (complete with the student’s actual two pet quail). It was such a fun thing and made me want to ask adults in my life: “If you were going to do a presentation at an event here in town this month, what thing would you want to do it on? What are you nerding out about right now that you would love to share with people?”
I’m trying to imagine how much slime talk went on in this classroom that the teacher explicitly banned it.
Omg! My daughter’s class does the same thing and my husband and I were remarking on how wonderful it is to see what all the kids pick. My kiddo did arctic foxes last year and betta fish this year. Her friends did recycling the earth, the birth of Christ, pizza and the animals of Europe!
RWD, they periodically earn a special event for a few hours/day, and they usually vote on it (Stuffed Animal Day, extra recess, Pajama & Movie Day, etc.). I cannot tell you how many times it’s been Slime & Putty day this year!
“Does chili belong of french fries?” This is a kind of goofy question but my teenage daughter has asked this question a bunch of times and it is low stakes, everyone seems to have an opinion, and has created conversation.
Closely related: Is a hot dog a sandwich? What about a hamburger?
Pro Tip: My favorite question in almost any social situation is “What was your first concert?” — it invariably leads to more conversation about the event, the band, commonalities… and often great stories.
What would your last meal request be if you were on death row ready to die? This tells me: how well can you roll with the weird and out there? how ok are you being uncomfortable? what are your favorite foods? will you take me seriously even if with very random questions? You learn a lot! And it always leads to interesting places! And if they scoff or won’t answer or are too freaked out to answer, I know I don’t wanna hang out more so it also weeds out the more regular folk
I think about this quite often (yes, Im slightly odd!) so here is my answer for today (it might be different tomorrow). Scallops and Black Pudding with a Pee Puree. Steak Rossini served with Mashed Potatoes Chocolate Torte served with some cream and berries. All washed down with a pint of Fresh Orange Juice (but not bits) as I am not allowed to drink Orange Juice but if I was going to die anyway, I would have as much as I could possibly have! I love food!!
Who is your favorite muppet? I read somewhere recently that this is a good ice breaker question in office scenarios and I am dying to put it to use. I feel like it’s a good judge of a person’s sense of humor and of what they think of themselves. I’m Miss Piggy all the way, though Fozzie is up there.
Rizzo!
I love the weird dancing slinky-like ones from the Java sketch (or any similar ones) but of the named muppets, it would be Gonzo. My partner’s favorite is Beeker. Miss Piggy is my least favorite!
1. Do you have a hobby (hobbies) and what is it 2. Biggest challenges past and current 3. What do you like to cook/eat 4. Bonus round do you play tennis and who are your favorite professional tennis players past and present
1. What was your favorite Halloween costume of all time? Or at least, most memorable? This can give insight into so many decades of life, fandom, social stuff, into childhood and it opens people up to a level of whimsy and fun. 2. What was one of your favorite pets? Why?
One of my favorite dating tips from Love on the Spectrum: if you can’t think of what to talk about, you can say, “I don’t have anything to say right now, but I’m having a nice time with you.” My husband and I use that on each other. :)
Lol, my hubby and I say this to each other now too.
Driving back from a late meeting with a coworker last night as the sun was sinking down around 9pm I asked what the farthest north he’d ever been was. It turned into a really interesting conversation on travel and spirit of place and more! On the way there I asked what’s on his low-key summer bucket list and he had no idea haha.
“Who is your favorite Muppet?” I do this at conferences where I have to attend author dinners. Most people are surprised, then laugh, and the answers are always funny (bonus points if you answer someone more random, like Sweetums).
“If you got knuckle tattoos” – assuming they don’t have knuckle tattoos – “what would they say?” “What happened the last time you found a big spider in your house?” “How do you feel about power ballads?”
Knuckle tattoo would be WW on one hand and LD on the other. What would Larry do?
Larry!!!
Lauren and Grace, you need your own comedy show!
Same question for kids and adults! When is your birthday and if it is within last six months the follow up is what did you do for your birthday? If the date is in the upcoming six months the follow up is what are you planning to do for your birthday? You will be amazed how much people LOVE to talk about their birthdays!
this is so cute!!! I ask kids this question, and also “what cake did you have?” / “what kind of cake do you want to have?” always a banger haha
I use this question on my summer interns to start conversation, but I’d use it on a date – “if you could only listed to one musical artist for the rest of your life, who would it be?” I then go and listen to that artist as it’s usually someone I don’t know (I’m way older than the interns!)
ooh that’s a fun one!
My always and forever answer: Bach Bach Bach. Aside from loving his music, I would never get tired of it because he wrote a billion pieces for many different combinations of musical forces. The cantatas alone……
18YO girl and 16YO boy over here. 16YO boy has been dating a girl we love for 6 months. She has motivated him to get along with his sister better and made him a better texter and phone caller, lol. 18YO dated two boys, each for three weeks, and says her turnoffs are they cannot be MAGA and they cannot do drugs or drink (no vaping). Both of them have been reminded to use condoms and at least one other form of BC although no activity that I know of. They also needed the reminder that intimacy is more emotional and might mess with your head before you’re ready if you take that step.
I did an activity with my family a few months ago, and I kept thinking it would have been a great question for early dating (maybe first dates, but better for a follow-up between dates one and two, because it gives you a lot to talk about on date two). That question is: what are five songs (doesn’t have to be songs, could also be movies) that have had an impact on you/ shaped you/ changed you. It’s easier than favourites, and it encourages people to share more about themselves! For instance, when I asked my parents for their answers, my mom talked a lot about her immigration journey and a song she listened to a lot as an immigrant teen in Canada, and my dad shared so much about his university days! I even asked my teen nephew and he talked so much about his parents (my sister and brother-in-law), which was so so sweet! It’s great for ages 13 and up, it’s amazing how much teens already think about things like this!
aww I love that you asked your parents, too — that makes me feel so weepy xoxo
YES, this is the Desert Island Discs approach! I use this with groups all the time, it is a wonderful icebreaker and it’s so sweet to hear the stories behind a lot of the picks. For my dad’s 80th birthday recently my siblings and I had him go through his 8 Desert Island Discs, and it’s now a playlist we all share.
Not a question but advice for first date: spill something. My husband did this on our first date. His reasoning is that it shows how someone will react to a tiny problem. Then, if you end up in a relationship with them, you will have a glimpse of how they deal with issues.
Omg took me multiple sentences to realize you meant LITERALLY spill something. I thought you meant, “Spill something intimate about yourself.” lol. Love this idea!
I would not enjoy being secretly tested. Eeks.
I would also not like to be secretly tested. Also how I react to a drink (honestly, not contrivedly) spilling is not really demonstrative of how I deal with “issues,” which is super-broad. Depending on the issue, the time of day, what other issues I have going, my mood, and a ton of other variables, my response is going to be different each time. In general, questions that are asked with a specific (unspoken) type of response awaited, by which the asker is trying to “classify” me or judge me or make assumptions about much larger views and values based on one specific answer, that would make me NOT want to date the asker. In what way would my response about how I feel about Beyoncé be able to be extrapolated to how I feel about black women generally??? Some of these questions feel like the opposite of openness and curiosity, which are essential to building a real, true bond with someone.
my husband did this on a first date, too. i found it annoying (the test, not the spill) but 25 years later here we are – annoying each other, loving each other, compromising, not compromising, going through ups, downs, and all arounds. looking back, in that moment, he learned two things – i’m pretty easy going but also don’t test me, bro
Way back when I was dating in the early aughts, I used to love to ask: when you were in kindergarten, what did you want to be when you grew up? It usually led to lovely stories about childhood or inspiration for their current career or a funny story about how they realized it wasn’t for them or raised a red flag if they said something off (like saying something obviously to try to impress rather than being authentic). Plus it was a great tool for a light hearted follow up text: “saw a fire truck and thought about you and how you were going to be the driver!” Your boys are so young though so this question doesn’t work for them!
What makes you light up What makes you feel at home/cozy/secure (as in the German word geborgen) Do you cook, if yes what, if no, would you want to do/learn it What makes you cry/emotional the most: poems, sports, films, music, books, humans etc. Do you want to go to a comedy show with me Are you kind to yourself Which pasta shape is the best, no discussion If I would drive a new car as a beginner and you would sit next to me, how would you feel/react Could I hold you hand What is your favourite thing/spot in your flat/house What is your favourite space in your town and why I wrote a 1 page story I really like. Could I give it to you and no, I do not expect you to like it. But I want to tell you what is important to me. And I like my story :) Can we go for a walk This Sunday, would you like to meet at 4:47 in the morning to see the sunrise on that hill Do you speak different languages? Why? What makes you panic Do you like Jeeves & Wooster and Derry Girls Can I tell you what I feel right now? I want to be honest with you. I like you a lot already.
I flat out sobbed reading this to my husband this morning. Very touching. <3
This is poetry. I feel I know so much about you from just the questions!
Just lovely.
Oh, I love this so much. Do you write? If so, can I read more?
This probably doesn’t apply so much to dating as a teen, but in my 30s I would try to work in the following within the first 1-3 dates: I would casually mention how much my nephews love when I gave them manicures/pedicures. My date’s response/reaction usually gave me great insight into their feelings about masculinity/gender constructs, as well as let me know pretty quickly whether I would want to potentially raise a child with them. My now-husband’s response was to ask what their preferred color was. :)
Auntie of the year, Abigail–I love this.
Not necessarily first date questions, but whenever I have a few minutes of one on one time with my nieces/nephews, I ask rapid fire questions (favorite candy, animal, drink, color, this OR that.) It helps with future gift-giving and its fun to watch them think through their answers.
this is so cute. my niece always asks me, “tell me about a time you got in trouble….on purpose.” I was such a good girl growing up, but I do have a few stories for her!
Its funny you mentioned Love on The Spectrum, because my GREAT go-to conversation starter references that show. You know in that show when the introduce someone new, and they list 3 things about them that are fascinating, usually 2 likes and 1 dislike? I ask them if they had to introduce themselves with 3 unique facts, what would they say about themselves? This has led to LONG and fun conversations with friends. Lots of laughs too.
this is so much fun! we did this at a ‘school moms’ hang out once, and one of the moms revealed that she’d been the personal assistant to……TOM CRUISE. like!!!!!
I heard someone on a podcast once say they like to ask people, “What are you working on?” because people can take it in so many directions–their actual job, personal improvement, side projects, etc. Also, most people love to talk about whatever they’re working on!
I really like this question (!), and have used it lots- mostly when meeting new people in general. I am a perennial grad student (on my 4th degree in the humanities), and so my social world includes a lot of graduates who might have just spent the last 5-7 years of their life on a degree, only to end up without a job (for now). At a drinks reception a few years ago, I remember hearing a professor ask my friend- who had just recently been awarded her PhD but hadn’t yet landed a job- what she was working on, and it allowed her to interpret that question however she saw fit and now have to explain that she was still looking for a job (I think she ended up talking about a book she was working through). It also showed that the prof was interested in what interested her most, rather than her employment status at that point in time.. For dates, my first question is *always* something like “what did you to today” or “what’s been on your plate today/this week?”…unlike a question about favorite bands or something, they don’t feel like they need to respond in a way that shows they’re compatible, and they can answer in any way (“I’ve been really into this book”, “there was a catastrophe at work”, “I hit a new PR at the gym”).
Ooo I love this. A very low pressure and kind thing to ask someone. Some of the loaded questions above would be a big turn off to me – I hate the idea of someone overly judging my response to what Tom Hanks movie I like best. If asked, I’m pretty sure my mind would go blank and I would panic pick whatever came to mind quickest. Later I would regret my choice and wonder why I was put on the spot about Tom Hanks content. My date would think I’m adventurous (or weird?) for choosing Cast Away when the right answer is obviously the whole Toy Story franchise :D
I love this one too! I hate talking about work lol so I usually phrase it as, Are there any personal projects or goals you’re working on right now? People have shared with me about the art they’re making, training for a marathon, etc!
Such a great question. I don’t use it enough. One time I asked my normally reticent 15-year-old neice that question and she launched into a loooong story about training her dog to do a trick. It was so great!
Liz, I would be suddenly unable to remember a single movie with Tom Hanks in it!
Yes!!!! Similarly I like to say “tell me something about your family” – instead or more pointed questions like how many siblings do you have (many people have a sibling that died and this is a complicated one) or I say “tell me something about where you grew up” – I find these open ended questions usually lead to really deep and personal answers that I would have NEVER fished for but adore when they’re offered up
I love getting to know new people! Here are some of my go-to questions: -What has been bringing you joy lately? -What is your favorite type of vacation? -What’s your earliest memory? -If every opportunity you want was given to you, what does your life look like in the next 5/10/20 years? -Do you have a travel bucket list? What’s on it? Does your soul belong somewhere other than where you currently live? -What would your last meal be?
What were you like in high school? (Best if you’re a solid 10 years out of HS lol) People can take it introspective or funny direction, but adolescence was weird for everyone.
Dating advice for the next generation… you’re fabulous, not everyone is going to appreciate that, that’s ok. Find someone who’s kind, who makes you laugh, and who you enjoy talking to.
Great dating advice for any generation, Suz! :)
I love the way small talk can just stay pleasant, or build up to more, using all those tiny tells and revelations that we use to determine compatibility. Thinking back on dating in NY, I’d often just ask what I was curious about—how’d they get to the date (walk, cab, subway), what they did that day, etc. If I was asked icebreaker questions I’d feel like I was in an office and want to leave.
yes I agree! I love small talk for this reason — simply asking, how was your day? often leads to great insights — like “I had to run home to feed my rabbit” or whatever! and “how was your day” is WAY better than “how’ve you been?” which makes you forget anything you’ve ever done in your life.
I’m so glad kids are still going on dates these days!
What are you reading / watching / listening to is basically what I ask everyone, all the time haha! That’s my go to when chatting with friends I’ve known forever, with coworkers, or new people. It’s a good conversation starter and also I come away finding new stuff haha. My other favorite is “have you traveled anywhere recently or have any trips coming up?”
‘Any trips coming up?’ is my go-to for my in-laws. They LOVE to travel, and it always gets them talking for a while.
Two thoughts: a) I don’t know if I would do well with the dating world now that there are so many apps–how does one navigate the getting-to-know-you questions, if lots of those are answered within a profile you already agonized over creating aiming to present yourself authentically? b) my husband and I agree on nearly everything …so I’m often trying to find something we can playfully debate! Often I’m building lists of those kinds of questions for our inevitable lulls in conversation. Often, it’s my house reno ideas v his that bring out longer conversations because we really have to work hard to blend our styles!
I love how you say “inevitable lulls in conversation.” I adore my husband, but sometimes I blank on what to talk about, and it made me afraid that we were growing apart! Realistically I think it was more that we were spending a lot of time together so there was nothing to update each other on 🙂
There’s an old “Mad About You” episode where the main married couple are sitting on a plane and the husband declares “that’s it – we’ve run out of things to talk about” and then they sit a little glumly but it’s also kind of comfortable haha. I love when you don’t need to talk and the companionable silence is comfy and good.
I used to like to jokingly say “tell me your life story, start at the beginning and don’t leave anything out!” Now married for a decade and still finding out!!!
I absolutely love this.
I was a huge fan of, “What is your favorite YouTube rabbit hole?” They were varied and fun, and I was prepared for when my now husband gets home from a stressful work day and turns on a two hour basketball stats deep dive to decompress.
hahahah oh my gosh I love this and I know all my friends’ answers
Here are some questions I find guys love answering: -What’s your walk-up song? -What’s your perfect Saturday, within the confines of your actual life – no jetting to the Maldives or something. You get $100 extra to spend though. -How many bones have you broken?
omg I love these
I’m a straight woman and I LOVE the “what’s your walk-up song?” haha and think about my answer often. If only someone would ask me :)
I knew my husband was the one based on his answer to the Saturday question! He was an early career lawyer at a big firm when we met, so his personal time was super limited. On maybe our second or third date, I asked him to walk me through an actual, typical Sunday in his life, since that was the one day he reliably wasn’t at work the whole day. His description really revealed his truest self, and I was all in!
I love the walk up song question and really think about that way too much in my adult life. I was actually just talking about it lol. and mine is walking on sunshine by Katrina and the Waves. Well, that’s been my answer for a long time- but maybe I need to revisit. What is yalls?? Now I want to know Joaquina and Allie!
Joaquina – we would all love to know! :)
So Joaquina – what is it? Dying to know!
One of my best friends decided his walk-up song would be “Happy Birthday,” and that answer has been making me laugh for 20-plus years now. Chaos is a ladder!
Joaquina – why are you leaving us hanging? :) (mine is currently Tom Petty’s American Girl, mostly just because it’s so fun to walk to) xox
I’m horrible at small talk and typically try to end it at all costs, but if I’m actually TRYING I might ask “have you watched/read/listened to anything good lately?” It’s not too personal but gives you insight into the persons interests. I’ve asked it on new friend dates and it’s been good I think. I’m interested to hear others comments because sometimes when there’s a lull in conversation I can’t think of a single thing to say or ask. Thank god I’m done dating hahah.
first-date questions are very similar to new friend date questions!
For new friends l like to ask about travel. “Favorite place you’ve visited?” and “What destination is on your travel bucklist?”