Kids Figuring It Out

Personally, I WOULD like a plaque commemorating my daughter now going poopoo on the potty. It’s been a rough few months y’all.

I’m relating this wisdom to my experience with helping my mother navigate dementia. Children and folks with poor health certainly deserve their dignity, but it can feel tough to slow down and let them have it. We mean well. We give ourselves grace. Thank you, Ruth.

Ruth’s artwork is always so adorable, funny, and poignant. It makes me feel all the feels in a good way! Thank you!

It is aaaaallll an exercise in relinquishing control and trusting

When my kids were little and I’d feel (unfairly) frustrated at them not doing something properly or fast enough, I’d later do that task (e.g. brushing teeth, whisking eggs) with my non dominant hand to remind myself that it’s hard! Helped me be more empathetic. And a bit more ambidextrous.

So spot on! The pride on their face when they finally do it <3

So true. No little kids at our house but we’re still trying to navigate that with grown up family, friends, and co-workers! I think it never stops. I keep reminding myself that “done” is better than “perfect”.

This is incredibly relatable. I find this to be one of the great challenges and invitations of parenting and life in general: when do I intervene and when do I step back? There is so much nuance and depth to this question, because of course there are situations in life when you do need to step in, and many many times when you need to just allow and wait. There is no rule book for this, no algorithm. The only tool I have to whittle is my judgment, and I’m grateful for the (endless!) opportunities to practice. It’s incredibly humbling. There are so many times when I catch myself over functioning for my son and even for other people. In general, I’m coming to see that the less I try to help directly, the more helpful I actually become. I’m more patient, more capable of tolerating discomfort, more aware of what’s in my control and what isn’t. As a result, I indirectly help build these traits in my son. The roots are bitter but the fruit is sweet.

This is beautiful. That last frame is perfection ❤️

I love this comic! As someone who is not a parent but works in child behavior, this “do for” culture (which is driven by our increasing need for quick fixes and frictionless existence) is part of the reason why so many young people have low frustration tolerance and poor problem-solving skills. Letting kids struggle through things is so important!

So true!

my kid just turned 16 and i still feel this way — training yourself to allow them to tie their own shoes is a great proving ground for future driving lessons! [gulp.]

Pediatric occupational therapist here. Jean Ayres, who developed sensory integration therapy, said something I hold onto while I watch kids struggle: “If you can solve a problem with your body, you can solve a problem with your mind.”

So true and so relatable! My kids are older now – 10 and 14 – and are largely able to figure stuff out on their own with minimal intervention. Even so, the urge to jump in and facilitate the challenges persists. I remind them, and myself, that growth is what happens when we work through the discomfort of a challenge and stay persistent.

Your patience will be worth it! ☺️ Have her “practice” when you’re not in a hurry. Children will figure it out! They’ve learned to walk, talk, feed themselves, etc. They are smart, capable and want to be independent! “I do it!”😉

Ruth – these are so funny and so poignant and so beautiful. I am not a “young” mom, but I do have a baby (she just turned 1). And while we are not yet at these phases of life, I already know these feelings that you described are on the horizon for me. Thank you for helping to put words to an inner feeling that’s bubbling below the surface.