What Did You Do This Weekend?
How was your weekend? A few months ago, a CoJ reader named Molly asked if everyone could share weekend recaps now and again, so here’s mine, and please share yours in the comments, if you’d like…
First off, this happened a couple weekends ago, but you guys, Toby turned 16! Sixteen whole years since tummy time and wolf hats, and it’s been a wild and wonderful ride. xoxoxo
He now towers over both Freddie and me!
Meanwhile, the Knicks are in the NBA finals, and the entire city is going bananas. I love all the blue-and-orange bagels and posters and balloons and outfits and donuts. Even though our family are Warriors fans, the energy is contagious.
Another major competition is happening in Brooklyn haha: a chess face-off between Anton and me. We’ve both gotten super into the game (thanks for your tips), and while Anton has more experience and has been beating me, the games are at least getting a little closer!!!
He also finished up his school track season. Did you ever run track? If so, what distance? As a lifelong non-runner, I’m always very impressed.
My friend Tembe — a beauty and culture writer — has a side hustle, where she and her wife make ridiculously delicious biscuits in Brooklyn. She brought some over the other day, and oh my gosh, you guys, if you are biscuit fans, RUN DON’T WALK.
Last but not least, we went to my friend Leah’s son’s bar mitzvah, and here are some of the fun photos! It was a black-tie pizza party with dancing, blackjack, and roulette. I wish every party could be planned by 13-year-olds :)
What were you up to this weekend? Any great books? Movies? Gossip??? :) I’d love to hear the ups or the downs, as always…
P.S. More weekend recaps, and lots of books recs.
Tags: personal, toby, weekend recap
Comments
187 commentsHow did I miss that you & Freddie are back together? That’s amazing!! So happy for you!
That’s amazing news! Huge congratulations to you!
Our 11 month old quickly decompensated with his breathing from pneumonia from rhinovirus after a sudden fever. After an ambulance ride, high flow oxygen, steroids, critical care transport, 2 nights in the picu and one on step down, we are finally home. We felt very loved especially since I work at the hospital we were at, but it was all so surreal. Grateful, tired, and relieved.
So glad everything is okay!! Sending love.
ooh way to go, Anton! I ran the 800m in high school track. Was never first, but wasn’t last, either. There are certain whiffs I catch on some late spring afternoons that take me straight back to being 16 at track practice. That and Love Spell body splash that I wore as a refresher.
I have an incredible bit of gossip, since you asked :) Last weekend I was at a cabin with my co-workers turned very good friends. We were chatting with one of my friends about a tough breakup he had gone through recently, including hearing a very cutting poem this ex had sent him. Through the course of his story we discovered that his ex- girlfriend is….. my therapist!!!!!! I guess therapists are real people after all- messy breakup poems and all!
Omg Marissa!!! Here for the goss!
I’m retired now so every day is now the weekend. This Saturday I worked in my vegetable garden, 26 tomato and 24 pepper plants, I think I was overly ambitious! On Sunday I went with a newly retired girlfriend to a Pride month drag brunch and had so much fun!
Oh my Lord!!! I still cannot believe the boys are so grown up already!! I remember Tobys birth like… I cant say yesterday haha, but surely like it was just a few years ago! May they both be healthy, as you all in your family *warmest hug*! PS. I`m dying over the grey-green color coordination between Toby and Freddie!!
Go Liberty!!! The ladies are more fun!
Yes!! I recently discovered that I don’t dislike sports the way I thought I did, I only dislike MENS sports! I love, love, love women playing sports (especially basketball!)
GO SPURS GO!!!
My 13 year old (soon to be 14!) daughter plays Varsity Track and Field. Her events are the 800 M, 1500 M, long jump and either the 4x 4 or 4x 8 Relay. She also does XC in the fall!
Happy Birthday Toby! 🥳 You are a true Memory hero from the video where you remember all those athlete’s name. Joanna, If time could go back, then I’d pick you for my mom. Last weekend I did much if nothing as a diverticulitis flare up slowed me down to sofa time.
Jo, you and the fam should become Valkyries fans!!! Next time you’re in SF, see if you can get tickets to a game. They are sooo fun (more fun than the warriors imho). Every time I wear my Valkyries shirt I get excited comments on it :)
I think it’s so funny that Elmo is having a PR crisis because he said he hoped both teams had fun in the NBA finals. My husband said “Elmo better not show his face around the firehouse” – a joke that will probably only land with people who have/had toddlers who insisted on watching “Elmo Visits the Firehouse” thousands of times.
hahahahahahahahah
Friday: Invited some friends over for appetizers and drinks. I made spinach and artichoke dip, deviled eggs and ordered wings from Publix. My husband served as bartender. Saturday: Two hours of yard work followed by several hours of endless reading and tv. Sunday: Church followed by an afternoon stroll with my two besties. We grabbed coffee and then walked to a park and chatted about life. A perfect weekend!
Jo I’m sorry ily but it makes no sense for you to be a Warriors fan. I thought you were a new yorker
hahaha Alex grew up in the Bay Area, so he got us all into the warriors when the kids were born! :)
okay fineeeee
Thank you Anna. I was wondering the same thing!
I had a full hip replacement last Monday, but managed to walk without any crutches on a nice event organized by all the parents of my kids school : an outside bar with Spritz and beers and hot dogs and lots of kids running and playing outside on a sweet Spring evening. What a blast to be able to walk around without any hip pain surrounded by beloved friends and kids! My son even met his old and favorite teacher from when he was 5 and 6 yo!
Wow wow wow wow congratulations on your successful hip surgery and walking unaided so soon !!! Surgery last week ??? Wow , happy for you ! Signed, presently hip challenged.
Welcome to the hippie club Margaux!! I’m so happy your recovery is going well. I’ve had both mine replaced and it’s truly been a miracle for me. Running a many trail miles as my other parts will allow, sleeping well, and much less back pain too. Take care of yourself and make sure you get enough rest too.
Just commenting that the URL for this post is making me laugh – “brooklyn-chess-bar-mitzvah-biscuits”
hahahah
We hosted a Bounce House, Bagels, & Bubbles party as a summer kick off for our friends and neighbors. We rented a bounce house, bought bagels (I made my own schmears!), and had both prosecco (bubbly) and play bubble toys galore! People just hung around for hours in lawn chairs on our front lawn and had a great time.
this sounds like so much fun!
OMG I’m stealing this!
On Saturday we went to the local Renaissance Faire with friends and watched the animated Robin Hood (iykyk) and on Sunday we went shopping for a rocker recliner for our nursery! It felt simultaneously like a recognition that we’re in this strange liminal moment between being parents and not, and also a reminder (so many babies at the Faire!) that we will find ways to keep doing the things that bring us joy.
Took my youngest horse to the oldest and most prestigious show in the country where he won lots of prizes (YAY!). Took a roadtrip to lunch with my husband, played in the garden, took a nap, recovered from horse showing, and tried not to stress about life/the world/etc (mostly unsuccessfully).
We spent Saturday driving home full of gratitude and freshly made memories from celebrating my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. Having lots of existential thoughts lately about the brevity of life…I can’t believe I’m mid-forties and that my parents are at this milestone! What is time? Sunday I taught 7,8, and 9 years olds in Sunday school (the BEST, spongiest ages), taught my kids how to do their laundry, and loaded up on food from Costco. Back to life…back to reality.
I have never thought I could feel more like an outsider on this blog than I do for the house tours (geriatric millennial destroyed in 08 who will never and has never recovered and will never own a home) or the week of outfits or suggestions for clothes that are hundreds of dollars (thrift for life) but reading these weekend updates, sheesh. I am so happy and glad everyone seems to be living their best life, but like, how do you afford to do all these things ? truly, not being flip, but saying it as a public sector employee on the razors edge of forever being doged in a red state–what did we do? we went to free day at the science center and I went to three different grocery stores to maximize savings for our grocery list of the week, since you can no longer just shop at one store anymore. what is next weekend? the library and the park while saving up for a trip to the zoo and maybe the aquarium before we get to the end of the summer (while trying to not stress myself out about how we are going to afford or handle summers when our kid is out of preschool and needs to be in camp.)
I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time right now. Reading through these comments I see a huge mix of things. Working, reading, doing chores, swimming at a friend’s house, going to the movies, along with things that are perhaps more costly. Everyone has a different life story and different stage in life. There have been times were I could not afford to do anything that wasn’t free and others when I’ve been fortunate to do something that does cost money. Sending you lots of love and hope that it gets easier!
I can totally relate to your comment as a retired Boomer in a red state! The budget struggle is real. Yet I continue to read blogs and watch home improvement shows. I do avoid influencers & Oprah’s favorite lists though-too pricey – haha. This weekend I went to a free art exhibit. I’m always watching for free things to do all over town and do lots of library eBooks. I also watched the latest property Brothers show called “Property under pressure”. I usually cry at the reveal as it would be such a dream. My weekend treat is going out for a cup of tea or coffee (less expensive than dining out).
Karen, I just want you to know that I see you and your struggles. It’s hard out there, and even harder online when all we see of others is the fun, frivolous stuff and not the hard parts, the boring parts, the scary parts.
karen, I see you. the discrepancies in everyday life in america are terrifying. thank you for the work you do in the public sector. it’s clear from your comment that you are a woman of strong values and care—your kiddos are so very lucky!!!
Hi Karen. I hear you and while I don’t have kids in the equation (which I’m sure can be a source of an enormous amount of stress and financial worry that I don’t have to carry), I too often wonder how people can afford to do all the things they do. My husband and I have been searching for new places to move to, but with entry level houses starting in the $400K range, 95% of locations are not feasible. Add on gas prices (still $4.45 / gallon near me), and we have reduced our trips away from home. But, if you really dive in, most people seem to be spending time with family, potlucks/bbqs with friends, reading books, working, gardening – mostly free things. One thing I’ve been working on is looking at all the things I do have and not focusing on the things I don’t and trying to excited for my friends that just bought a 2nd house and 2 new cars and have trips planned every few months this summer. It’s hard to change the mindset from jealousy to appreciation – not saying you’re not doing this, but I have to remind myself to do this. I also find that a lot of things/activities I have to pay for aren’t always worth the expenditure so finding free things to do can feel way more enjoyable than opening the ole wallet.
I hear you. I love reading here because it’s not as aspirational as other lifestyle blogs and CoJ team makes this space friendly and approachable despite the $150 summer dress recommendations but affordability struggle is real and the growing wealth gap in this country is worrying.
Karen, hugs. I see you. I’m a preschool teacher (at home, I literally make almost nothing) Husband is state employed grounds keeper. Red state. On one hand, we spend most of our precious money on medical bills (2 medically complex people, + some stupidly bad luck). And groceries because we live in one of the most expensive places in America (wasn’t always, and I was born here). And on the other…… we love each other so very much. We love to give our dogs a great life. We adore our baby grandson. We delight in the full lives and accomplishments of our daughters, we couldn’t be prouder of the amazing humans they turned out to be. They were raised in thrift clothes, on garden tomatoes and strawberries, at the public library and on hiking trails on public lands. Not a silver spoon or trip to Europe in their childhoods. A lot of tents and beans and books. I think this *method* turned out exceptional adults. Love mattered more than anything else. You hang in there. There are more of us just like you than you think. I come here for you. For all of us. Who cares about a fancy house in the UK lol. It’s probably damp and cold :)
Keep in mind that most of the house tours are people with MONEY. Not normal money either. They are living in expensive apartments and homes in places like NYC. The rest of us don’t! Yes, I own a home, but my mortgage is lower than cost of rent in my state and is under $2K a month. I also graduated college in 2008, so I am probably around your age. Finances vary from person to person, but like the other commenters have said, sometimes the best free activity is just being with friends. You may have already considered this, but may I suggest a “fee only” financial planner? They can help you get out of debt, start saving even if it’s small, and have your money work for you, not against you. Even the tiniest thing like adjusting your 401k to accumulate more in the current market makes a difference. And, put your savings in a high yield savings account instead of collecting pennies in a regular one. Sorry for the unsolicited advice – I hope it gets easier!
Thanks for these comments, friends. It helps to feel less alone here. sarah: we don’t have any debt, kind of hate the implication that debt must be what is keeping us down, but we live in a HCOL city in a red state with lower than cost of living pay because it’s a right to work state, so there’s no getting ahead unless we win the lottery, j guess.
I don’t know why the @Sarah Levy turned into a named tag, sorry for whomever that is!
I am here not for the curated or causal homes (Catherine Newman’s remains my fave) or for the fashions or what’s your top skin care splurge or save or what to pack for a trip not taking. I’m here for the community as one of three blogs I read regularly. The other two are frugal/thrifty blogs. So I’m not buying a $70 dress or a $20 throw pillow. I take my grandkids to the library, always a hit, and to the dollar summer movies on half price popcorn day. The big hit this week? Invisible ink pens and notepads. Playing restaurant, making treasure maps, hotter/colder to find a hidden toy… We’re not taking them to the wildly out of our budget children’s museum, but to the playground in the park. We buy store brand everything that we can to maximize our grocery saving. I guess I come here for the love of friends, children, parents, partners, the art in conversation, the small and big joys, the chance to lift someone who is maybe struggling and reached out on this blog, or to thank someone who posts a kind note or teaches me something new from a cool British TV series I need to put on hold at our library, a cooking tip or the dog photos (and Anton and his never-ending dog-love) even though we’re a cat family now after our dog passed. I guess I come to COJ for the people, not how they decorate their lives. By me finding my community of like-minded thrifty folks at TheFrugalGirl and TheNonConsumerAdvocate I feel right at home there. I learned and shared many tips and ideas for saving money and making money grow.
Thank you for those links Bonnie!
Well said Sasha from Montana. I agree wholeheartedly and lived pretty much the same lifestyle. While raising our daughter and living our lives, we often had 7 bucks in our bank account. My friend used to say ” I don’t know how you live like that ” But I never thought much about it. I’d take time over money any day ( I worked part-time ) and my daughter, husband and I had a ball. I’m happy your life is full. :) The sacred is in the ordinary.
You are not alone. At all. The majority of us are going through it. I just had to deal with my “friend” coming to my house, which I’m struggling for and say “it will be cute someday”. The level of privilege was disgraceful. She has NO concept of respect because she’s floating through with a beautiful remodeled home and a pied à terre thinking she hot a home run when starting on home base. The bottom is about to fall out and everyone is eating cake.
Karen, I see you. It’s a month-to-month life for us too, and we aren’t in debt, apart from a mortgage. We’re in our forties and drive a paid-off 1999 CRV and 2007 Rav4. Where are all the other families like us?! (I address that to the void, a la Meg Ryan, not necessarily to the commenters on this blog, whom I love!)
What a lovely weekend! :) Over here, the weekend was all about the movies. On Friday, my husband and I went to see *our* film, ‘Lost in Translation’, at an open-air cinema on the rooftop of a building. It’s one of my favourite things to do in spring and summer (and was also one of our first dates ever a few years ago). On Saturday, we went to the Japanese film festival and finally watched the cyberpunk classic ‘Akira’ in a packed cinema with over 700 people. They were incredible experiences. To round off our film-loving weekend, we watched Oldboy, the Korean classic, from the comfort of our sofa.
Took my 14yo son to his two-day volleyball tournament. He is an absolute delight to hang out with and he’s the middle child so he appreciates the one-on-one time. At the hotels he likes to talk right up until he falls asleep, which is so exhausting, but is also the sweetest thing, so I remind myself: drink it up, drink it up, drink it up!
Signed up for a library card- the librarian was so nice and showed me how I can use it for museum tickets. Wandered around the garden at Lake Merritt in Oakland CA then are delicious Afghan food on 14th Street. Saw “The Sheep Detectives” and laughed then cried. Called to get a better price on my Mom’s internet plan and the person who helped me on the phone was so nice!
Lake Merritt is such a beautiful place to walk! Did you visit the bonsai garden while there? It’s one of our favorite places when we visit the East Bay.
I finished American Fantasy by Emma Straub, and was so inspired by the Boy Band thing, I cranked up One Direction and That’s What Makes You Beautiful while pouring coffee on Saturday morning! Spent most of Saturday paying bills, paperwork, vacation reservations….man, it takes time! Sunday went to a lovely outdoor art show. went to my husband’s symphony concert…a very Sunday thing to do, and had a delightful mint chip iced matcha! Stepped on the scale this morning, and for the first time in 28 years, I am below 200 pounds, down 89 pounds in the past year and a half! And yes, I am pretty damn proud of myself!
Congratulations Martha! That’s a wonderful achievement!
Congratulations!! I am in the throes of perimenopause and losing weight is HARD!
I went to my college reunion and was delighted by how many faces and names I remembered, and the pleasure of talking to people I once loved hanging out with, even if we haven’t seen each other since. It was so fun and way more joyful than I had anticipated!
I so relate to this! I went to my college reunion two weekends ago, and it was such a joyous time. I was so reluctant to leave and so grateful that I went.
What began as regular weekend of chores and kid wrangling casually turned into a milestone moment. Somewhere between dinner and bedtime my 7 year old returned from a neighbor’s house after a couple hours playing with her friend to ask if she could spend the night. She grabbed her pajamas and crossed the street for her first-ever sleepover, leaving me standing there wondering when exactly she got so grown up. Just like that, an ordinary Saturday turned into one of those parenting moments that feels both completely normal and impossibly big.
I was just talking to my husband about how parenting is so many ordinary days and then BAM.
Sleepovers! I’d love to hear about your process here. This is something my husband and I talk about frequently. Are sleepovers still a thing? How do we ensure safety? Do we allow them at all? I lean no, but I know that’s not everyone! Isn’t it incredible how quickly they turn into precious tiny adults?
Renee, I completely and totally get your concern. My mom would not let me go on sleepovers until I was in 3rd grade and all the other kids I knew were allowed to much earlier. I love that my mom was protective, and I think it was good to have her meet the parents and feel safe about it..but what I will say is that so many core important memories of my childhood were at sleepovers. Being slightly mischievous, getting into a bit of trouble. My mom told me that she knew one of my friends parents were probably more relaxed than her…when I told her, as an adult, what we had been up to…she just laughed and said… well glad I didn’t know at the time. We were just having adventures though. But those are core memories. I highly encourage you to let them do it!
Renee, I tend to think of sleepovers as a lesson in responsibility for the kids and trust for the parents. You’re never going to know every single second of every single day if you child is making the right choices, doing what you’d do, and you can’t control them! However, you can “collect the data” as my therapist has said, and make a safe choice for sleepovers. Get to know the parents hosting, make sure they’ll be home, ask questions if you need to (“are there any guns in the home”). Above all, trust your gut – but not out of blind fear that something will happen when there is no evidence for it.
Pushed save too soon! Cont’d for Renee – Also, make sure your child knows personal rules and boundaries for sleeping at someone else’s home. AKA no adult should make you feel xyz way, you don’t have to watch a movie you’re not comfortable with, etc. If they feel uncomfortable at any time, they can use a code phrase to text or call you and know that you’ll come get them.
Here to add to the question about guns. It can be easier if you start with, “We don’t have guns in our home, do you?” or “We have guns and keep them locked in a gun safe, separate from the ammunition, do you have guns?” or something like that. When my kids were little, they weren’t allowed in a neighborhood home as the police officer homeowner kept his loaded gun on top of a curio cabinet. I asked about his six year old daughter, and he said, “Oh, she doesn’t know it’s there.”
I added water! One of my besties has a grabbing. Friday I made olive dip and brought some cold sauv blanc to her house, where we spent 4 hours swimming and gabbing. Saturday my husband and I went out to breakfast, grilled for dinner, and we listened to music and then late night watched a movie, Sunday I watched baseball and read my book.
Opened my camp in Maine and sat on the porch and watched two loons on the pond through my spotting scope while drinking coffee and chatting to my husband about our garden beds. It was pretty perfect.
How fortunate we all are to live our best weekend lives! My husband and I celebrated our grand nephew’s two weddings. One wonderfully thoughtful ceremony in a mosque and the next day an equally thoughtful ceremony overlooking the pacific ocean. In these crazy times we feel especially thankful to be able to share and love and learn from one another.
Wound up working A LOT on Saturday. Sunday I got some park time and a long walk in, started ‘Mad Honey’ by Jodi Picoult and finished the second season of 4 Seasons on Netflix.
Did anyone else pre-order Ann Patchett’s latest book and tear throw it this weekend?? I got it in my PO box on Saturday afternoon and was done by Sunday at 5pm. Whistler is probably my favorite yet, though The Dutch House is also just fantastic. As a child-free woman in my late 30s, I also recognize I have a lot of privilege to be able to read an entire book at the drop of a hat on a weekend…
Me!! I am trying to not devour it, but already almost done. I love all her books, essays, interviews. Have you heard her Wild Card interview? Highly recommend!
Liz, I was reading your comment and thinking fondly back on my pre-children days when I could whip through a great book! I hope knowing you can while others can’t makes it a sweeter joy, not one with added guilt. When I’m busy with playdough and bike rides and naps, I love to think there are people out there living that singular pleasure on a weekend and enjoying it so. I’ve embraced a slower pace of reading for now, but I have a long weekend away soon and I may just reserve myself a copy to immerse myself in…
I’m trying to savor Whistler – I haven’t underlined anything in books for years but I have a pen handy for this one…so many memorable lines. I loved Dutch House too. Also Elizabeth Strout – The Things We Never Say. Summer reading at its finest.
I will listen this morning on the way to work – thank you Sue!!
Also a child-free woman who is 39 and loves to read whenever I feel like it!
Love love love the weekend rundowns. I went to Montreal for the first time to celebrate my friend’s bachelorette! She lives in NYC (we used to be roommates there) and has friends in Montreal. We were out dancing at the end of the knicks game 2 and frantically refreshing the score and I have a great photo of her ECSTATIC response to the win while wearing her bride-to-be outfit (veil, beaded sunglasses, etc). Then we slept in a fancy hotel room split four ways which was the perfect girls trip sleepover vibe. Next day was spa time and watching mamma mia in bathrobes and eating all the gummy candies and chocolates etc etc. I was very, very sad to come back to real life this morning!
My best friend and I watched Matilda with a live orchestra performing the soundtrack, and Danny Devito narrating! Then got autographs from him – lovely man. My best friend, an artist, is a HUGE fan of Danny Devito, and hand painted a shirt with his face on it. Seeing their reaction to meeting him was just as much of a delight as the rest of the evening had been.
You must be in CLeveland!
More Cleveland orchestra love, I was there too!
My daughter is also a huge Danny DV fan. She brought a life sized cut out to our family pictures session years ago, so he made it on to that years xmas card.
I flew to meet my freshly minted college graduate in his new town – Atlanta – to help him set up his first apartment before his first day of work – today! We spent the weekend scouring Facebook Marketplace, Goodwill, Craigslist and estate sales to furnish his cute little one-bedroom. We enjoyed quality time and deep conversations. It was bittersweet: I’m so proud of him, yet I’m worried about him being on his own and sad that another chapter of parenting is over. I’m already looking at flights to visit in October.
The Kinicks vibes look so fun and I’m here in Melbourne Australia. My husband is into basketball and told me why it’s a big deal. I love it. Your weekend looks lovely. My daughter is still in hospital so saw her and caught up with other parents on the halls and nurses we adore. Then on Sunday I took my Dad to the movies to see H for Hawk. Recommend! He loved it and found it relatable thinking of grief. I took him to a bar after and it was packed with young people in 20s playing chess!! I thought of you Jo. Then Monday took my youngest shopping to get outfits for Freya Skye concert on Thursday. My Dad also organised us to meet to talk about his Will and wishes and we had burgers. He is fine just wants to be organised! I guess it was a weekend with many parts of life!
Our favorite Nashville farm to table restaurant, Margo Café, said goodbye this past weekend after 25 incredible years. I’ve only lived in Nashville for 4 yrs and every single meal I’ve had there has been unforgettable. My hubby and I thought we had until the end of the month to get one last dinner in. Then on Friday, he very spontaneously suggested we try our luck and show up about 45 minutes before they opened, no reservation, just hope for a table or to snag a couple seats at the bar. Little did we know that June 5 was actually their final day of service! So there we were, first in line of what became a very long line ,crossing our fingers. AND we got seated! We ate all the goods, drank the loveliest chilled Cinsault, soaked in every dang delicious bite, cried a little with our server and felt so grateful to be there one last time. Nashville won’t be quite the same without Margo Café, but we’re beyond grateful we got one last super yummy meal there. Cheers, and thank you for the space to share this Cup of Jo fam. I love this community so so much. ❤️
Fellow Nashvillian here!! I’m born and raised and love Margot and all it represents so much. Definitely grieving the loss alongside you! Cheers to a last lovely experience there and also remembering to support the remaining local places!
I had a really nice weekend! Friday night was what I call “Bougie Bookclub”, which is a delightfully over the top book club where we go all out for each book- costumes, themed food/decor,etc… The best part is that 3 people host each time and everyone else just shows up and participates, so you only have to do the “work” every 1.5 years or so. It’s a wonderful group of women and always a fun time. On Sunday, we met with our small group (5 couples, we’ve been meeting for dinner two Fridays per month for over 20 years!) Our friends surprised us by making it a celebration for our 30th wedding anniversary- champagne, balloons, special cake and thoughtful questions for us to share about our experiences, memories, wisdom, etc…. It was extra special because we hadn’t really done anything to celebrate due to our home being tented for termites and our anniversary falling on a Monday. We felt so celebrated and loved by our friend group!
Bougie book club!!! This is my dream! How do I get an invite! Haha
We visited the Treue der Union monument in Comfort, Texas, which memorializes 68 mostly German Texans who were brutally hunted down and slaughtered by Confederates during the Civil War because they were anti-slavery. It was just a little thing on the side of the road across from a Lutheran church. It was good to remember that sometimes being a hero means being an ordinary person who stays true to your values even under threat of violence.
I spent this weekend putting the final touches on a big move. I’m leaving a state where I moved for my dream job, learned so much about myself, and built an incredible community, and I’m finally joining the person I love after nearly two years of long distance. I’m definitely feeling a mix of emotions. I’m anxious about having to “start over” again—meeting new people, making friends, building a new community, and finding a new hairdresser, doctor, and all the other little things that make a place feel like home. I’m going to miss the friends and community I’ve built here so much. At the same time, I’m excited to build a life with my partner together—in the same state, under the same roof! My partner came up to help with the move, and as we disassembled furniture and packed boxes, we kept laughing about how much easier everything was with two people. It felt like a fitting reminder of this new chapter we’re starting together.
I watched my daughter graduate from high school! The day before graduation, seniors are all bussed back to their respective elementary schools for a parade through the hallways. All the elementary kids line up with posters they make for the occasion. Then the grads play on the playground for about 30 minutes in their robes, alongside the rest of the elementary kids: tag, tetherball, foursquare, jungle gyms. All the parents are together again and taking a zillion photos. It is pure magic. The right after the graduation ceremony for grad night, all the families line up on the Main Street of our small town and the busses depart parade-style with police and fire engine escorts. All the graduates hang out of the bus windows and we all scream and wave happily at them. My good friend owns a wine bar so our extended family had flourless chocolate cake and red wine while we waited for the parade. Small-town living at its very best.
This is so beautiful!
We adopted a dog and he is wonderful but he is not sleeping at night. He gets super anxious as soon as night hits and spends hours pacing and whining, and nothing we do seems to help or soothe him. He’s from the shelter and spent a long time there, so probably has some trauma and is still decompressing. But we’ve had him for a few weeks now and have tried different meds proscribed by our vet and they are not helping with his sleep or anxiety. I want to be excited about our new family member, but am stuck in the “wtf have we done” stage. Especially because we have a toddler who also does not sleep through the night. Feeling sad and regretful as my husband and I zombie our way through our days.
Gosh, this sounds so hard. Thank you for adopting a shelter pup! I hope you all can find the right medication soon! It took several months for my shelter gal to relax, but I can only imagine how hard this is when no one in the house is getting good sleep!
Aww please stick with him. You are doing such an amazing thing! There may be some suggestions out there on the internetss that can be helpful. This pup will be in love with you all soon. Give him love and a chance ❤️
I’ve had a couple of dogs who did ‘sundowning’ like this, and meds did help a bit when we found the right one. Other ideas are a thundershirt, which can calm the nervous system, and creating a routine around bedtime with extra comforts, like getting brushed if your dog enjoys that. or a white noise machine and night light. Other dog owners say CBD for dogs has helped theirs. Settling in can take awhile, thank you for being so patient and willing.
Ugh this sounds like such a hard stage. It sounds like you’ve tried everything. We were in a similiar situation, feeling like we were back in the newborn stage. Someone recommended we try a YouTube station for dog anxiety music and…it was truly a miracle! Since a lot of rescue pups are used to noise throughout the night, a quiet home can feel unsettling. (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6JdLjyKObzQ)
Amy Elise. Something that might help is to consider the sensory environment around sundown. Turn off the tv. Turn on amber toned lamps, make sure the air is a good temp, keep conversations calm and consistent. White noise. Repeat this routine. Earplugs if the pup is safe and just going through the motions. I think. In time, the dog will learn the new routine and feel safe. Oh and food at bedtime so its not hungry, we do a sardine in oil.
Ohhhhh, Amy. Big hug. I went through that 5 years ago and it was brutal! We adopted a senior beagle who wouldn’t sleep and wasn’t house trained to add to my 2yo who wouldn’t sleep and refused to potty train. I remember the lack of sleep, daily sobbing, and constant regret/resentment for about month (maybe 2?). I had to throw away 3 area rugs that were just ruined. No melatonin, l-theanine, or benadryl worked for her either. But she did eventually settle in. She was my kids’ best friend! We had her 3 wonderful years until she got doggy dementia and we made that super agonizing choice to put her down. I’m so sorry it’s hard now, and I hope your loving home will help your puppy calm down and feel safe very soon. Sending you peace.
Can he sleep with you guys in your room?
Sorry if this is an obvious/simplistic suggestion, but does he have a crate? My dog goes into his on his own at a certain point each night. We don’t shut the door to it until we eventually go to bed but it’s where he goes when he’s doing with the family space and really wants to sleep. Not a shelter dog so I know it’s not the same but if yours was a shelter dog he must be used to sleeping in crates. Ours is a metal one and we just drape something over the top for that den-like feeling.
‘done’ with the family space. Wishing you good luck – I had non-sleeping babies as well and I feel for you!
Yes, it will take a long time to decompress. Some ideas: leaving the lights on, a sound machine, a few kibbles in the middle of the night in case he’s hungry, sleeping next to him.. Our dog chose a loveseat as his bed and he wants us in the loveseat with him during fireworks, thunderstorms, etc. He feels safe and sleeps so much better.
Have you crated your pup at night? A crate really helps our boy settle down at night. Put a blanket over it and it’s a nice cozy cave. I know some people have a hard time with crating but really it’s not a bad or mean thing to do. I think the house can feel too big and scary at night.
We dealt with a similar situation with a dog in the past and our dog trainer recommended that we put her in a crate at night. They explained that most (perhaps not all though!) dogs feel safe in a crate and view it as their den. It worked for us. We currently have a cat that is the same and we use a crate for her during the night to keep her from pacing, howling, and climbing the curtains all hours (she’s also extremely destructive and bites all of us regularly so it’s all just so unpleasant and I’m with you in that I feel regrets rn).
as the dog mom/ whisperer in my house, I sat with her on her bed and massaged, soothed and shusshed her to sleep every evening. CBD honest paws or something like that also helped. Use liberally in the beginning. This also helped my girl, I did the holds until she shifted or licked her lips. I know it’s a lot to ask with a toddler, be easy on yourself. do what you can. (the method helps humans too. Co regulation is real) https://www.instagram.com/jenniferbradleyjsj/ Please keep us updated
I’m so sorry this is happening but thank you so much for adopting! Until the pup sorts it out (and maybe even after, because toddler), my #1 tipper is every other night, y’all switch who’s “on duty”. The other person sleeps in a different room with white noise, sleep mask, and ear buds. This way, one grown-up has always had a full night of sleep every other night, at minimum. Don’t mess with sleep, it impacts literally everything else!
This is so difficult. We had a rescue pup who ended up having extreme separation anxiety, and it took months of my husband working with her for us to be able to leave her at home. We also had the “WTF” moment a couple of weeks in. However, it was 100% worth the effort. She is the best dog in the whole world – kind, loving, quiet, good with kids, playful, and brings immense joy to our family. If you can afford to bring a dog trainer in even for one session they can help you with training strategies. You can do this!
Hi Amy! We have a lot of experience adopting dogs with severe anxiety – think puppy mill rescue dogs. They are all a little bit different. If you haven’t done it yet, maybe try a crate. Put the crate in your bedroom and drape a blanket over top. It gives them the illusion of a cave or safe spot. Established routines also go along way for rescues. Same time for outside, breakfast, walks, bedtime etc. Also, meds work miracles. Don’t give up on prescription meds from your vet. They may just need to tweak the dosage or prescribe a different combo. Once he feels comfortable, he will ease into a routine. Good luck.
Amy, I am giving you permission to consider rehoming him if none of these suggestions work. Sounds like you might not be the right family/environment for him, and he might not be the right dog for your family. It does happen.
Here’s something my mom did whenever we got a new puppy. She would put a ticking clock underneath a couple of blankets, along with a heating pad on low, in the bottom of the dog’s kennel. It sounds like mom’s heartbeat and calms & soothes them.
All the hugs to you. I know first hand how difficult an anxious rescued pup can be. You’ve got lots a great suggestions here. I will say adding a crate to our room made a big difference when our dog first came home. We did not think we would do that but the monks of New Skete say it’s the best way to make a dog feel secure and part of the pack. These treats were also essential to helping our dogs anxiety: https://zestypaws.com/collections/calming-collection/products/advanced-melatonin-calming-bites-for-dogs. Last but not least your dog may respond to DAP (dog appeasing pheromone). It’s not effective for all dogs but for those it works for it can work really well. You can buy spray or even a plug in that releases it.
Sorry if this has already been suggested. I loved a uniquely neurotic Dalmatian for 12 years, and a couple of drops of Bachs Rescue Remedy in her water bowl worked wonders.
It takes a long time, more than a few weeks, for shelter dogs to re-regulate sometimes. You may have to give it a few months, while still working on his soothing options. I’m sure he’s grateful to have a family!
Seconding the dog crate, UNLESS you know he experienced trauma in a crate. Start by giving treats to reward when going in, taking it a little at time (you can’t just throw him in there one night and shut it). Teach him it’s a place of comfort and not punishment. Draping it with a blanket when it’s fully time to sleep is also helpful (again, if he has no trauma around that).
I know it’s hard, but try to give him more time. A few weeks isn’t enough. This is coming from someone whose dog was in a shelter for years prior to us adopting her.
I had our second daughter on the 26th May so this weekend was our first parenting both kids solo! My parents came down to help the first weekend we were back from hospital. The best I can say is we survived. The night feeds are brutal when you know you have a toddler wake up deadline just a few hours later …so glad my husband has decent paternity leave (8 weeks) so this first chaotic phase is a true partnership.
Had the most wonderful weekend! Traveled to the wedding of our lovely niece in Minnesota, what a great event. The couple, family and friends are very down-to-earth, and the wedding reflected that. The lovely ceremony was held on a ski hill with view of the Twin Cities, and the visitors went up on the chair lift (or the shuttle, for example 95-year old grandma). The weather was warm & breezy and everything was just right. So much fun to see the family (and watch them being all a little tipsy in a good way …). With growing children, we mostly see each other at family events, and in recent years, there were sadly a number of funerals, so it was even more fun to hang out with everyone including our own kids for a fun event, get a manicure with my daughter, have a barbeque in a relative’s backyard and so on. And then coming home and watching her drive away in her camp counselor uniform for the summer. The seasons of life …
Dropped hubs off for his military deployment after visiting a farmers market :/ super weird and surreal to be surrounded by people fussing over dogs in strollers and scarce iced coffee, then 30 minutes later crying in a parking lot with a C130 parked in the distance. This comment is meant to be agnostic to politics, just sharing a part of life some people don’t get to see in this country.
Hugs!!
MM, My prayers are with you and your husband. If you want to share his name, I will add him to our parish prayer list. (And if you’re not religious, please know that my thoughts and energy are with you). Signed, an Episcopal priest. (and sorry if this is weird)
Having gone through 2 deployments (hubby is retired now), I can sympathize. I helped a friend pack for her next PCS (military move) while she’s also eagerly waiting for her husband to return this week after 9 months deployed. I don’t miss those days, but I’m grateful that I got to experience it. It is surreal, and isolating, and complicated in today’s climate (as it was 20 years ago, too!). Hugs from a fellow military spouse!
May he stay safe, M M! *hugs*
That’s hard, M M. It’s a downside of military service being so isolated by economics and sometimes geography in the US. I grew up in a town with a base and had friends whose parents were deployed. It is so hard on those stateside.
Thanks for sharing! My heart is with you❤️
As a Navy family, sending you caring wishes for continued connection, safety for all, and a huge thank you… To both of you.
Sending lots of lot from another military spouse. You can do hard things! Will be praying for your service member and for the ones he leaves behind xx
M M, I remember when my husband left for his last deployment which happened on a July 4. We spent the morning swimming with friends, I took him to the airport, cried my eyes out, and went back to the pool where my friends distracted and entertained me in a way that will forever induce gratitude. Good luck to you and him on the deployment, they are so difficult! I did my best to enjoy my time with friends and myself and our pets and his daughter, but it was still weird. Thinking of you!
I had the most wonderful weekend away with my oldest childhood bestie who lives in a different city than me. We rented a small cabin in a nearby mountain town. We enjoyed slow mornings, delicious local restaurants, a lovely hike (with a long stop for reading our books overlooking a lake), a little shopping in town, watching 90’s rom coms in bed at night with snacks and tea. But the best part was just being together and ALL the catching up/processing/encouraging each other that we did. There’s something so soothing about being with someone who knows all your quirks (and your weird relatives) where no background explanation is needed! We’ve both been in the midst of some hard things, so it felt especially good to slip back into the ease of a 35+ year friendship!
Sounds like a beautiful weekend! Congratulations on getting back together with Freddie! Since you’ve mentioned your anxiety several times I would love to hear how you manage with while parenting. For example when I’m anxious I can be reactive or dismissive with my teens when they ask a lot of questions (which is totally normal). I do all the things (therapy, meds, exercise, etc.), but I would love to be a gentler mom especially as my years with them at home are winding down.
I’ spent the weekend reading “The More Beautiful World our Hearts know is Possible” and it’s articulating a feeling I’ve had for a long time that something is fundamentally wrong with our world. Even though it’s a heavy book, it’s also quite up-lifting. Curious if anyone here has read it? My brother sent it to me. We’ve been out of touch for a few years in the land of young kids and it’s been special to reconnect with him over this. Our spiritual paths seem to be converging and I got to have a lovely phone call with him on Sunday. The passages I read last week and over the weekend inspired a substack post – https://trippingoverjoy.substack.com/p/the-best-kind-of-magic In so many ways Cup of Jo embodies the world I want to live in. Intentional, kind, community-oriented, slow-paced. I especially appreciate there are only 1-2 posts a day and you take weekends off. There is a deep respect for our time and attention and I truly thank you for that.
Yes!! Thank you for reminding me of this book! I read it in high school, 15 years ago now. Will have to read it again, I remember it being a formative one for me.
Saturday – worked all day BUT – I work part time in a neighborhood jewelry store that’s been in the same neighborhood for 113 years. I stumbled into it back in October when I lost my job and it turns out it’s the most fun EVER. Helping kids pick out presents for their parents, helping young couples look for engagement rings, getting things fixed for people, seeing the estate pieces that come in, tearing up over some of the estate pieces that come in. I finally got a job in my actual field and will be leaving the store at the end of the month but it’s been the most fun ever and I’m so sad to leave. I’m in education and I’m going to come back and work over my two week holiday break that’s how much I love it. It’s in a super diverse neighborhood and we do all kinds of rings for same sex couples too and it makes me happy to be a part of anyone’s journey to happiness just as you are and to be a safe space for everyone. We are an “all are welcome here” place and we mean it! Sunday brunch with friends and packing to move to where my new job is – out of state, but not too far. On to the next adventure!
I love this!
I’m in a season where I do t remember what I did on the weekend, it’s so busy. Two birthday parties, emergency support services (call-out at my job), a swim meet and a 6 mile run. Can I get a weekend from my weekend?
Omg yes to a “weekend from my weekend”!
Babes… watch Widow’s Bay on AppleTV. Maybe we’re late to the party, but being a lil’ bit scared in the summer is really fun!
I was sick Friday and binged the whole show all at once! Absolutely lost my mind laughing in every scene with Patricia, but she outdid herself in the final episode. Adored the whole thing.
We spent the weekend moving my 16 year old into the dorms at my undergrad alma mater (a big state university about three hours away) for a three week summer program that promises to be life changing for him. I enjoyed traipsing him around town for the “Mom and Dad Nostalgia Tour” (oh, my old apartment building is still there, here’s the coffee shop where we had our first date) and then was very proud that I held all my tears in until we got home to our now so empty house. I’m finding this season to be so incredibly deep with the conflicting emotions – extreme happiness at his bravery and joy as I watch him grown into adulthood but also just so terribly sad because I miss him.
Oh man, this sounds like a program I attended 20 years ago at Mizzou – the Missouri Scholars Academy. I loved it! It gave me so much confidence and a window into college life. We all felt so independent, but there was quite a bit of scaffolding (i.e., we were safe!). I also met so many wonderful people and kept running into them over the years: when I went to college, studied abroad, went to law school, and so on. Whatever the program is, I hope it will be an encouraging time of positive growth and an absolute blast for your son. I also empathize with you so much! My son was at sleepaway camp last week and my other son is at sleepaway camp this week. It is so strange when they are out in the world without us – all the feelings!! <3
LETS GOOOO KNICKSSSSS!!! We are eating, living and breathing the Knicks. That’s all, until they win the chip!
took my son to NYC this weekend and yes vibes were HIGH – also Apollo Bagels 3 times as one does
My parents gifted us a membership to the Berkeley Botanic Garden back in November and we finally used it! Time seemed to stopped while we wandered around and we left feeling rejuvenated.
It was a good week end! I went to the market and bought lots of summer fruits and that makes us all happy. I took my 12 y old to see an exhibition about the life of Marylin Monroe and it was sad to see how much she was treated like an object. I hate the 50s. At night I went out with my husband and it was fun to come back late and see all the youth and party in the metro. On sunday we went to listen to my friend sing in a choir, Haendel’s Messiah and it was fantastic… we came back and ate a bit of our happy fruits to end the day… happy week to you all, and happy (and conscious) pride month. Love from Paris
Agree with you about the objectifiation of Marilyn Monroe (among many others). Glad you had an otherwise great-sounding weekend. Stylistically, the 1950s are generally not my thing. But I can’t hate that decade … it’s when my grandparents finished raising my not-yet-my-parents (and my aunts and uncles), then my parents met, fell in love and brought my siblings and me into the world! Best wishes to you!
How did I miss you are back with Freddie? Ahhhh…be still my heart. I guess I need to catch up on Big Salad. So happy for you!
My thoughts exactly! Congratulations, heart swoon!
Me too! Was it all really on The Big Salad? Good news anyway!!!!
Objectively I had a wonderful weekend! Chatted with parents at my daughter’s friend’s birthday party in the park, spent Sunday out taking the ferry on the water with great friends and all of our kids. Went for family bike rides (my almost 5 year old can ride on her own now) and saw a rainbow, which my kids loved! … But I haven’t been feeling like myself lately and I am struggling hard with feeling inadequate because I don’t feel like I am part of a “group” anymore. My close girlfriend group dissolved a number of years ago and while I have a good number of wonderful friends, we are all in the stage of life of young babies, toddlers, and little kids, and they are all separate friendships. Plans can be hard to make. I guess I am struggling with feeling like I want to be part of a big warm group of women that invite me to fun things and weekends away etc. etc. Anyways. I had a lovely weekend. And I think I need to work on my insecurities!
JR, you might have to be the one to start the trend! Why can’t you invite a few friends to something fun or a weekend away? It may be some heavy lifting up front, but if this is something you want, it might start with you!
Hey J R, I can relate to that feeling of not being part of a group at the moment, even while enjoying warm long distance friendships. No advice to share, but you expressed something I’ve been experiencing and that I understand. Sending you a high five. We’ll find our way.
Your comment resonates with me – also in that phase of life and also find myself yearning for larger hangs of female friends instead of just 1-on-1’s, but most of my friends aren’t part of a larger group. Maybe it’s on us to try to bring different friends together? Not sure, but just wanted to say I feel you! Would love if any other readers have been there and successfully “started” a new group…
This happened to me a few of years ago, when my kid was younger. I had SO many individual friends, but not a “group” and I totally understand the difference. Somehow by the alchemy of luck and intention, I find myself part of four different communities that fill this need: An artist group of 4 other older women (ages 41-70!), a dance group that meets in the park once a week, parents from school, and a group of friends that I resisted initially, they are SUPER into board games and that’s not really my thing, and I didn’t really think they were “my” people, but over time, I’ve gotten to know each of them and wow, am I lucky to have these sweet, bang-up weirdos to call friends. J R, I hope you find yourself with some new friend groups in the coming years. I believe strongly in the power of intention and saying that is what you want is the first step!
I jokingly think of friends as my Board of Directors — what roles are missing? Right now, my Board is almost fully staffed but there’s a position available for someone who likes to go to/understands the ballet. Maybe just work on filling some Board slots and create your own group!
I feel this J R! Life is so busy for me as a working mom of four kiddos 9 and under the girl time falls by the wayside unfortunately. I would love to have a group that I go on an annual girls trip with but it feels so overwhelming to figure out where to start. I agree that perhaps it’s on me to create that for myself. I hope that it will improve as the kids become more self sufficient!
Oh, these tux tees! My coworker gave my then 5 year old one for his birthday. At 6.5 years, it’s still his favorite shirt. “My fancy man shirt!” Is his reply for anything that’s special—the spring sing, kinder moving up ceremony, you name it, he’s in his fancy man shirt and patched hiking pants.
We had friends visiting from out of town so we got to be tourists and took a whale watch from Boston. My 3 year old daughter had the whole boat smiling with her shrieks of delight during all of the whale activity!
My husband and I are taking a belated honeymoon in October to celebrate 20 years married and today we found out that we won the lottery to take part in the largest Japanese bike tour, Cycling Shimanami 2026! You get to cycle across seven inland sea islands and over 9 impressive bridges. Can’t be more excited!
Okay, that is the best news I’ve heard today. Congratulations!
Our family went to our end of the year potluck for the climbing teams at our local climbing gym. My kids just joined and I’m a new coach there. Two of the older teammates (2 girls that are 15 and 16) presented (all unprompted by their coaches) about how competitions work and were just so encouraging and kind to the younger teammates that I teared up. “We want to be mentors to you so please come and talk to us. Older teammates helped us so much when we were younger and we want to do that for you.” The kids are gonna be alright you guys!
We celebrated a family member’s 90th birthday with a big dinner in a restaurant’s private room, how lucky we are to have older, wiser folks in our lives! And then later in the weekend we checked out the FIFA set up in our city, popped into our favourite Japanese vegan cafe for lunch, went to a magazine shop to peruse (how great are they? I wish we had more of them around still!), and puttered around the garden. My dahlia’s are sprouting and I am eagerly awaiting their blooms! All in all, a very charming and relaxing weekend.
Said goodbye to my soulmate pup, Scruff on Thursday night which made for a slew of the toughest days I’ve ever been through. I am at the depths of heartache and feel like I lost an appendage. Did manage a very tearful hike on Sat AM (that she was supposed to join me on -damn!) which I guess now will be a tradition on the first weekend in June. Planted a white peony bush in her honor as well. What a tumultuous ride, but it’s nice to just get these words out there.
Nothing prepared me for the pain of losing a dog (I’m not even a dog person!) I’m so so sorry.
Oh Emily, I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. I know how devastating it is to lose a dog. How unfair it is that we have so little time with them. Hugs to you
Really sorry to hear about this, Emily. I also have a soul pup and even though she’s only 4, I find myself dreading that day. Cry it out as much as you need to. Hopefully the blooming peonies will be a cheerful reminder of your time with her.
I am so sorry for your loss, Emily.
Emily, I am so so sorry. I said goodbye to my dog in March. Those walks/hikes that they were supposed to be on are so hard. Cry away, Scruff will always be with you and loves you. What a beautiful way to honor her.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Emily. You are right that it feels like a lost arm. Hope each day gets a bit easier and that the peony thrives and serves as a wonderful memory of your friendship.
Hey Emily. Fellow Emily here who lost a soul dog two years ago, when she was just 3 and a half. It’s excruciating. Things that helped me: building a small altar / ofrenda in my home, with photos and her ashes and her collar etc, that I could talk to when I missed her most horribly; and advice a friend who had recently gone through a miscarriage told me: grief is energy that needs to move and be felt. When a wave comes, get down on the floor and wail, let it rack you, and you’ll find that in 20 minutes max, you can breathe again. From one person who has been on the floor over a little scruffy girl, to another – I see you. Holding Scruff and you in the light. ❤️
What a perfect name for a perfect pup. Sending all the hugs
I am so sorry. I still miss my pup a year and a half later.
I am so sorry for your loss of a good and trusting friend. Words often perform a knife-glance rather than enveloping the real feelings one has when we lose our animal soulmates. The best words I have been told over the years and over our losses: My world is better for having known my (pups, kitties, horses). Their world was made better by being in mine. I do hope this is true, and this is what I send to you.
Oh, Emily. I am so sorry. We lost our soul dog, Bear when he was just 4. It was excruciating and we did a lot of sobbing. It was helpful for me to talk about him, and I said good night to him every night (I still do), and that has been healing. Sending you so much love.
I am so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself, animals are such a huge part of your life when you have one and when they are gone the hole is enormous.
My heart goes out to you. Losing a pet is one of the hardest things.
I had the pleasure of taking my 9-year-old son and his best friend to see the He Man movie. Love a movie that knows it’s ridiculous and just goes with it, and I was delighted by the costumes and the music. But mostly delighted by the running commentary next to me including “he is definitely not wearing enough clothes!”
I also saw Masters of the Universe this weekend! Enjoyed it!
My husband won 4 live lobsters in a fundraising raffle for a local library and met the lobsterman on Fri for the handover. Cooking them FREAKS ME OUT so our friends who like doing it had us over, they cooked, we brought potato salad, ice cream and choc sauce, they made slaw, and we ate in the backyard. Seriously summer-y. Also I finished Willa Cather’s My Antonia which somehow got away from me in my Cather reading and I can’t stop thinking about it. Such beautiful writing, such a sense of place (I’ve been there, her hometown, Red Cloud NE, so it rings true) and almost meditative. And so very American in the best ways which made my heart hurt in our current moment. It was good to remember a different time…….
Everything about this sounds like the beginning of a novel set in a charming small town full of quirky characters (with names like Mouse?)–I mean live lobsters? from a library?! Side note: I read Cather’s Death Comes for the Archbishop four years ago and still think about it all the time…
My best friend of 30+ years and I crashed our college reunion. Not because we are rule breakers but because we are procrastinators. I’m so glad we didn’t let it pass us by!
Romy and Michele, the college version!
a moment for Tembe’s sunglasses. men tend to hates. luckily for me (and maybe a lot of us) dressing for the male gaze is o-v-e-r and all center-of-life (i like saying that better than middle aged, ew) woman need! i have a pair with yellow lenses that will instantly brighten my mood! i also have a pair with rose lenses…literal rose-colored glasses!! these bad boys have pulled me out of a funk on many a long walk or drive (and that’s not easy seeing as how i am in the throws of menopause and live with two teens that are very, very good at teenagering. get ya some!!!
Could I have a hug? I feel like I am not even meandering through a labyrinth but a plain plateau, able to see in all directions and still with no idea where to turn to next. Sniff.
Yes Ava send you the biggest hug!!! We have all been there. Xoxoxo
Ava, the collective tribe on Cup of Jo would deliver you homemade chocolate chip goodies, really good books, and a bottle of whatever you like best if we could. Your compass will find North eventually. Until then, deep breaths.
Oh Ava. Sending a hug and peace while life untangles. Be gentle and soft with yourself. Something will reveal itself. It’s so hard to wait. xoxoxo
Send you a big hug Ava!
Hi Ava. Sending you the biggest, warmest, heart-fillingest hug possible.
It feels so safe to be held by women I will never meet but they still get me and they root for me. Will have another good cry now, roll up my sleeves and try again. Because there has to be a way out into the sunshine. Thank you very much.