Have a Relaxing Weekend.
What are you up to this weekend? We’re going to a bar mitzvah with a “black tie pizza party,” which sounds really fun. Also, Anton and I are getting into chess together, although he beats me almost every time. I need to brush up! Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…
I want to read books on crisp sheets all summer.
“My most valuable inheritance? My granny’s gay gene.” (Vogue)
Great photo of the Knicks courtside seats! Also, the Knicks subway station. Also, Knicks bagels.
Who’s up for an adventure knitting trip?
The secret to getting dressed in under 30 seconds: a really good summer dress.
Um, the most adorable library.
This made me laugh so much. My British dad indoctrinated us into “May I please have…” from the moment we were born.
What a cheerful house in London.
My friend is hosting a movie night next week, and I’m voting for this under-the-radar comedy.
Who’s in the mood for a tuna melt? (NYTimes gift link)
The Zara x Caramel collab is really good.
“Oh, THIS is why people have sex all the time.” (Big Salad, paywalled)
Plus, three reader comments:
Says Kay from Queens on a very low-key summer checklist: “Hopefully we’re starting off summer with a Knicks sweep!!! We’re also headed to Michigan, where all we’re doing is swimming in the lake, reading by the lake, sleeping by the lake, playing by the lake, climbing sand dunes by the lake, and eating cherries by the lake. I can’t wait to sit back and watch my sun-kissed babies play their little hearts out.”
Says Emily on a very low-key summer checklist: “Recommendation for ‘Big Book Summer’: The Calamity Club by Kathryn Stockett, which had some of the best female characters I have ever encountered in a book. I devoured all 600+ pages.”
Says Olivia Jane on a very low-key summer checklist: “My newly minted seven-year-old loves making graphs, so she declared we’re making two to compare: how many watermelons and how many ice cream cones we eat, and we’ll see which wins. Best summer project ever.”
(Photo by Febe Vanerman/Unsplash.)
Comments
117 commentsEating a bazillion Rainier cherries is definitely on my to-do list this summer. Had some at a friends house recently and was reminded how delicious they are! I actually remember having my very first cherry at her house when we were kids next to their family pool. Maybe that’s another reason they feel special.
Gah, the cultural anth major in me just had to come in to say that “politeness” is culturally constructed and so of course it is uncomfortable when you find yourself in a different culture that has different rules for what is “polite” it doesn’t actually mean that another culture is “rude” it just means you don’t yet understanding the rules for engagement or you are bringing your cultural baggage into a setting where it no longer applies. One thing that’s interesting about many places in the US is that we often have a more direct way of communicating that often comes from the need to communicate across cultures, where subtleties might get lost in translation. The more you can rely on shared expectations of how an interaction will go, the less direct you need to be. Anyhow, I just always find this stuff fascinating and that clip about saying please is such a good illustration.
This fluctuates so much across just the US, too. I am a born and raised East-coaster but have colleagues from the Midwest. I answer the phone and want to get down to business. They answer the phone and want to chit chat haha sometimes I don’t mind, but I do always find that overly happy and cheery people annoy me!
My two cents on the ordering matter: “May I please have the…” – Question – Polite “I’ll have the…” – Statement – Neutral “Give me a…” Command – Rude(ish)
Just here to say that I love the picture! It’s Lake Bled in Slovenia, where I’m from. It made me feel warm :)
My mayor is Muslim My bagels are Jewish My Christian Dior MY KNICKS IN FOUR!!!!
Doulingo chess !!!!
I love a crafty adventure tour! I’ve done a bunch before, and I’m actually going on a knitting and embroidery cruise through Asia in February 2028. It would be really intimidating of rme to try to put ogether my own itinerary through such great places, but this is a fun way to do it – and then there’s loads of knitters and crafty folk to chat with, as you alll have something in coomon. Always such great, positive vibes on crafting tours. Travel and low key hangs and learning new skills. Curise info is here, if anyone is interested! https://knittedbliss.com/come-with-me-crafting-cruise-through-asia/
I wonder if someone at CoJ might find time to check your recommendations against the Palestine boycott list each week. Zara is very much on that listfor a number of reasons: https://bdsmovement.net/news/boycott-zara-dressing-apartheid-and-genocide . I raised this same point about Clinique a few months ago and got a reply thanking me for flagging it, but then there was another share of the same Clinique product last week or the week before. You have real power to direct consumers towards or away from certain brands and it would be nice if that power was not used to benefit companies complicit in genocide!
100% agree! Thanks for highlighting this. Purchasing power is a real power. Economic and sporting boycotts were key factors in the fall of apartheid in South Africa.
Thank you for this Nina. I won’t but clinique any more, and won’t purchase from Zara either. I appreciate the reminder.
Thank you!
My Kindergartener did chess club so I’ve been getting into it with him :) I’ve learned a lot from the ChessKids YouTube channel. Here is some of Fun Master Mike’s wisdom distilled (Grand Masters please chime in if you disagree) 1. Move your pawns to take the center of the board 2. Develop pieces early: Specifically, knights and bishops. WAIT to take out your queen. 3. Castle in the first 10 moves 4. don’t move your F pawn. As Fun Master Mike says, F stands for forget about it :) My kid enjoyed doing a couple chess tourneys as well! xo
These are all great tips! Thank you!!
You guys. Off topic question. I am 54. Am I too old to wear baggy/loose cropped denim overalls?
Baby, aging is about not caring anymore! We are all decaying in our weird, wonderful ways, and if you spend more time thinking about how wild it truly is to have a body at all than what that body looks like you’ve really cracked the code! If you love them, and YOU feel good, have at it!
wear anything you want, Laura! Sounds comfy :)
Never too old for that !!! I’m 67. I got overalls too this spring. They are pink and orange flowered , my fav color combo ! I have not worn them yet because the straps are too heavy to walk around with. Omg I’m pathetic. But I will rectify that and wear them ! Yours sound grand and comfy.
No
Rock those overalls, Laura! I bet you’ll look super cute!
You are not too old to wear anything you want, and you never will be. Period. I’m sure you’ll look great!
No, no you are not! :) I’m 58 and just got a pair
I’m 63, I just bought some. Every one of my girlfriends compliments them! I like the legs rolled up a bit but you do you
…please wear what you wish
absolutely not!
NO! Absolutely not too old to do anything (expect maybe low rise jeans, but really, no one should wear those)
Laura! You do you! But also, I decided to make this style a mainstay in my preschool teacher wardrobe. If I want to be a little chic, I throw on a fitted tee or French boat shirt, tie a cotton scarf around my neck and fix my hair a bit. Other days, all baggy all the time. Have fun! Be comfy! Do good!
Wearing overalls right now! (53, I’ve worn since i was a baby, including all the many years when they weren’t at all cool). Here’s what you shouldn’t wear tho: Anything that doesn’t fit. Anything you don’t love. Anything that rubs or itches or feels scratchy. Anything that’s too much fuss for you (like needs dry cleaned or has delicate fabric or too much fabric – FOR YOU). Anything that doesn’t, for whatever reason, suit you. Please do wear whatever it is that brings you joy. 50 ish is no time to worry about rules or what others think. (Except us, who are giving very good advice right here).
I just saw this, Laura–Just yesterday I complimented a neighbor on her outfit which included cropped overalls. She is in her 90’s and still a fashion icon of the block.
I’m 68 and bought barrel pants (not overalls) and I love them. All that matters is if you like them!
Thank you everyone for all your wonderful comments and support! And all for a question about overalls! Peace and love to all of you.
Cannot believe you missed the opportunity to use the caption ‘You like tuna melt?’ for the NYT recipe. Do I have to do all the Heated Rivalry references around here?!
Yes.
The comments on the tuna melt recipe were also disappointingly light on stuff like “serve hot, eat, have a sexy rendezvous with your lover on the couch, do NOT walk out on him.” Alas.
You guys, my husband ordered me a wand you put your debit or credit card in and then tap to pay, and I can’t stop laughing.
Hahahaha
just bought.
😂😂
When I was a young kid, my mom taught my sister and I to ask “may I please be excused?” once we were finished with a meal. We were instructed to ask this before standing up to leave the dining table. My mom was adamant on table manners. One summer she babysat for a boy our age from the neighborhood. She did not give him the same table manners direction, because he was a guest and did things differently at his house.But he picked up on it in his own way. The look on my sister’s face was priceless when we heard him yell, “DEBBY, CAN I BE DONE?”
For years I encouraged good table manners in my sons (now 40 and 45) by pointing out; if you are ever invited to the White House, you’ll need to know how to behave. We’re still waiting on those invites, but recently my son found himself in a small-ish group of gentlemen which happened to include President George Bush. He relayed their short conversation to me and I’m relieved to announce, it was perfectly well mannered and respectful. So hang in there, parents. It might be decades until you have evidence that the children were actually listening.
Can Freddie write up a Father’s Day gift guide? I have the latest Jack White book but am otherwise lost. Thanks!
oh I’ll ask him!
i knew that was going to be tom holland on good hang! loved it. also loved paula pell, did you hear that one? tremendously sparkly interview, so affirming.
As an Aussie with a British Dad currently visiting America the not saying please habit is something I immediately noticed.” I’ll Have” and “Give Me” make me full body cringe.
The one that confuses me is “I’ll do” …. to my mind that suggests you’re going to go into the kitchen and make it!
Ugh sometimes I am guilty of saying “I’ll do” and I immediately cringe at myself and add an excessive amount of “please”s to make up for it. Where did this come from and why did I learn it lol
Agreed. Going on my third decade married to my British husband, manners have come by osmosis and hearing an ask sans polite request feels so incredibly aggressive.
Sometimes we watch Wheel of Fortune with our kid. Every time, when a contestant yells, “Give me a B,” at least once my English husband mutters,”Say please!” I cackle each time.
Question for the commenters (or perhaps a future post!): When do you guys read?? When is your favorite time to read or place to read? I started going to bed much later since I had a baby (because late evening is the only time I get to myself) so I don’t read before bed anymore and now I’m like “When do I do this?” Waiting in line, audiobook at the gym, in a cab, or just flopped on the bed in an afternoon? Any suggestions??
I’ve only recently gotten into audiobooks but i do them whenever I’m in the car or washing dishes and sometimes when I’m eating lunch alone.
Audiobook doing chores, driving, walking, laying around (flopped on bed is perfect)
As a mom of three, I listen to a lot of audiobooks while folding laundry even through my preferred method of reading is a crisp new hardback book. Silver lining, sometimes the voices are delightful!
There were many years when my kids were first born that I just didn’t read! Be kind to yourself, and read whatever you can fit in – even if it’s just a blog post. Audiobooks are a great suggestion, too. You can listen during a middle-of-the-night feeding in the dark with your eyes closed!
I did all of my post-newborn reading on my phone on the Kindle app during feeds or contact naps. I prefer real books, but desperate times call for desperate measures! I definitely still prefer “real” books, but having a book on your phone is so convenient and also replaces pointless scrolling in those inevitable 10 minute windows waiting for an appointment, etc.
A lot less in your stage of life… But the times that always worked, even with young kids: – the toilet (We both knew that “I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll go upstairs” was code for “I need a moment to myself and will take forever”). – during naptime (you could also clean the house instead but my idea was that cleaning with a baby/toddlers around is doable but focused reading is less compatible). – on the train: I have a 50-minute commute (one way). I often get some work done on the train, but my deal with myself is that – unless I’m completely overwhelmed – I can claim at least half of my commuting time for reading.
I got a kindle which allowed me to read in the dark willst snuggling down next to my kids waiting for them to go to sleep. Kindle app on the phone is also game-changing, means you can read anywhere. You’ll work it out :-)
I try to read at least one page of something every day. That’s easy to sneak in but it does require me telling myself: read, don’t scroll. I’m an editor so I read for work, and I definitely struggle to read for pleasure. A chapter on the couch before bed works. I keep a book in my purse at all times so I can pull it out when I need it.
Always, every single night, in bed before sleeping. Sometimes it’s a paragraph, or even just a sentence, but I have to do it to fall asleep.
I always read before bed my whole life, then stopped when I had a baby, then started again when he was like 18 months old. The baby stage is so fleeting and you WILL go back to a lot of habits you had before. Having said that, in the baby stage I listened to a lot of audiobooks! At first overnight when I was feeding, and then later to fill the hours of alone time with the baby then toddler, when he was quite content noodling around on the rug or tottering around the garden and I would meander around after him for hours with my earbuds in.
First, congratulations! I know exactly what you mean! I mostly do audiobooks now – when doing house chores, dishes after a diner party, in the car… And I realized that it is an amazing way to immerse myself in the story. An interesting dynamic happens though you have to like person reading the book, not just the author and the story.
When I had babies, my reading definitely dipped exceptforwhenIwasbreastfeeding. I have the Libby app on my phone and I read basically everywhere: waiting in line, on long drives (when I’m not driving obviously), in the morning in bed, while I’m waiting for an oil change, in the bath…really anytime I have 5 free minutes.
I think about “seasons” of reading, as much as times or places. I read in the winter and spring more than the summer. I read when I am commuting by public transit. I read when I have dropped my child off for a program but have to stay on-site. I read sometimes on my lunch break, because it reminds me to take one. My daughter is 8, and I am back to reading before bed. You will get back there too.
Same as many people, I switched to reading on the apps on my phone, mostly while nursing and/or contact napping. After my first was a little older, I switched to “dinner” books on paper and “dessert” books on digital, and that is what I still do.
Like Clarisse: “Always, every single night, in bed before sleeping. Sometimes it’s a paragraph, or even just a sentence, but I have to do it to fall asleep.” Sometimes, it’s a lot more. My baby is an adult now, and I remember going through a period when I did not read while he was a baby (and other times here and there over the years). But those Years are so fleeting, they pass so quickly, I am glad that I just enjoyed that season and didn’t worry about reading.
The key is setting the bar low to maintain consistency. Challenge yourself to read 30 minutes every day for a month. I’ve been doing it two 15 minute increments (setting a timer) because that feels achievable. The more consistently you read, the more you’ll want to read and find way to sneak it in. Having a Kindle really helps because you can hold it with one hand and read in a dark room.
Oh, goodness, as someone who reads 60-100 books per year, I can honestly say that I read very little (if any?) full length novels during the infant years. My husband could move slowly through a book two pages a night but I was asleep before I landed. It was hard to find good chunks of time until they were older. Audiobooks during commute Poetry or books with short intervals (like the book of delights or the disappearing spoon) Picture books! There’s a fantastic world of reading there :) Later you’ll have oodles of time waiting at kids activities, so keep a book on you! I like having a kindle/paper book for waiting in lobbies and an audiobook for waiting at sports practice or general pick-ups (so I can keep eyes up).
For me, it’s usually on my lunch break!
I, too, indoctrinated my (not British) kids to say “may I please have” which usually came out of their mouths as “maplzav” from an early age. I stand behind it, even though the meaning was often lost mid-toddler-tantrum: “MAPLZHAV I’M NOT TIRED!?” Also, I have never (ever) laughed harder (in a real life movie theater, no less) than I did early in my running days (RIP) with my fellow bad runner friend, watching Run Fatboy Run.
I’m a long time reader from Iceland, had to share this with you – music session from your “dream house” in Ellidaey in Vestmannaeyjar (Westman Islands) – the musician is Junius Meyvant – https://youtu.be/vtHqj-cL428?is=lNB5UvZzlC5rAxkc
Two Vogue articles are paywalled? I don’t remember that being a COJ thing before…
There are a ton of gift links on COJ, but sometimes not. Let me introduce you to: https://archive.ph/ Use that to avoid paywalls. :)
Just read the Big salad issue and due to a totally lacking of a Sex Life (10 years together, 2 Kids, fulltime Jobs, last years caring for my Terminally ill mother, now mourning her Death and at the Same time trying to Sell our formerly stupidly Overpriced bought House and so on…) I was wondering if anyone can recommend a vibrator such as „The Wand“ sold in Europe/Germany? I am so inspired, finally. So thankful for the Big salad issue.
Hi Anon, try the satisfyer. It’s sold at dm or Rossmann. Enjoy!
I’d recognize Lake Bled anywhere! Hello from Slovenia!
Hello back, It is my country! However, I think this picture doesn’t make Bled a favour. It is much more beautiful in real life!
Bled is such a beautiful place and I have the fondest memories (except hiking down Vogel)
Kirsten, my mom and I visited Slovenia and Lake Bled last year – WOW! I was blown away by the beauty every where I looked. I have been telling everyone to visit the “third most forested country in Europe” (per our Slavic tour guide).
I recognized Lake Bled right away, too! I’m an American who visited beautiful Slovenia in 2014 :)
I’m a middle school teacher. There are 9 days left in the school year. You will find me resting the weekend. As for reasonably priced summer dresses…I’ve gotten a few online from Bloomchic!
The Knicks~lead up to World Cup energy around the city is unmatched!!! Not even personally a sports fan but I love A Moment!
Gosh I know it’s not what the article is about but I couldn’t get over the manspreading on that Knicks front row photo. Tina Fey and Kylie Jenner tucked in taking up as little space as possible. Maybe it was just a fluke photo but it looks uncomfortable!
Tina addressed this on the Kelce brother’s podcast and was hilarious! She said for as much space as Timothee is taking up in the front is equal to how much her booty is taking up in the back 😂
Any more recs for sundresses, not crazy expensive and petite friendly? <3
American Eagle! Has short options and nice material and not crazy expensive
Old Navy had some fab t shirt colorful dresses, scooped up two.
QUINCE!!!!’
Look at some you like online, then try to find the same re-sold on Poshmark :) Cheaper and more sustainable.
KAY FROM QUEENS, so excited for you! TRAVERSE CITY AREA IS THE BEST!!!
I came here to say Kay was heading to Traverse for sure! Lol! I grew up in that area. Summer is so lovely by the lakes. Everyone must do some grade A garage saling there if you’re headed that way and hit up the Rock Shop in Honor.
I’m feeling so nostalgic for a place I haven’t been to yet! I just discovered the Cherry Bowl Drive-In and can’t wait to go with the kids! I’ll take any of your recommendations of places to see, shop, eat, coffee, play etc.
my husband and I met in TC so it has a special place in my heart– our first date was a hike at sleeping bear dunes <3 I hope you have a lovely trip! Check out Moomers for Ice Cream.
Crisp sheets: When I change sheets, I always refer to them as “crisp sheets”. When my kids were little I’d hype up bedtime with, “it’s crisp sheets night! You’re going to sleep so good”. After many years my youngest finally asks, “so why do you call them Christmas sheets?”
Hahaha! Imagine all the nights of confusion! We hang our sheets to dry on the line (except in winter) and I love the feel and the scent of them after they’ve been in the sunshine for hours. I always tell my kid that their bed is full of sunshine and freshness when it’s fresh-sheets day, and sometimes do an extra wash and line dry if they had a bad dream the night before, so that the bed is all new and sweet and rid of bad dream vibes.
Hahaha!
My Granny’s Gay Gene reminds me very much of a Lily Tomlin film called ‘Grandma’. It sounds very much like the character she plays.
Guys I’m sure it’s not but it looks like your copy might be AI generated – a “black tie pizza party,” which – that punctuation formatting is a dead giveaway! Oops!
Wait what? Haha we would never use AI.
What are you on about, Alexa? The formatting is totally normal.
So…correct punctuation is a dead giveaway? Sigh.
Lol, no. Some of us have been using correct grammar, punctuation—and yes, even em-dashes—all along. We’re the ones who taught large language models like ChatGPT how to do it. : )
I hate this shit. AI was trained on humans and writes like them. I will not bend to the pressure of changing the way I write because some stupid robot does it too, no. The expectations on writers to change their REAL WRITING so as not to sound like themselves cos a robot mimics them is obscene. Gah! Rah!
Hi Alexa, English professor here. I’m not sure what punctuation formatting you have in mind here, but maybe it’s the fact that the comma goes inside the quotation marks? That’s actually standard style and usage–check the most recent edition of the Chicago Manual of Style to see typical US rules spelled out. (Conventions are a bit different in the UK, I understand). One thing I’ve noticed is that ChatGPT follows a lot of very commonly taught elements of style–things that people used to learn in high school and university–and some of them are now getting flagged as “AI giveaways,” when in fact they’re just really accepted rules of writing that magazines and advertising have followed for a long time. Another classic example is the em dash. All of a sudden, people are saying that the use of em dashes is a sign of AI use, but in fact it’s a very well accepted feature of a lot of polished prose. It’s just that AI learned to use it, as well. So, again, I don’t know exactly what “giveaway” you have in mind here, but you might check into it to see whether or not it’s just a convention of usage that you haven’t come across in other contexts.
Maybe Alexa is AI because that comment makes no sense.
This makes no sense lol it’s very in line with how they write I get that it’s confusing these days with what’s AI and what’s not but, I used em dashes before AI quite a bit and now I feel like I can’t ever which is fine but also having to change minor grammatical habits because of this is annoying! My grandma who was an English professor and died before ChatGPT used them and I picked that up when she would edit my essays growing up. Sometimes people just use quotations or grammar more formally!
Question, how else would you format this?
I’m LOVING all of the grammar nerdery this comment has inspired. I have given Strunk and White’s _Elements of Style_ as a graduation gift more times than I can count.
lol AI COULD NEVER come up with an idea as creative as a Black Tie Pizza Party! (It’s ours!)
Guys – it’s ALEXA. THE ROBOT. She’s clearly just f*cking with us. Nice try Alexa. We see what you did there.
I use dashes so much when I write (I always have) that I’m beginning to worry when I apply for jobs I get tossed into the “written by AI” pile and this comment is confirming my suspicions!
Ronny Chieng said it so well at the Harvard College Class Day 2026 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZLQ9y-ywD3/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet
Usually the AI giveaway is em-dashes. Not quotation marks. Jo and team write every article themselves.
There is nothing better in the summer than slipping into a dress and being ready to go! Gap has some amazing 100% cotton ones right now too.
I am also very here for the Zara x Caramel model’s Woman Getting Pestered by SVU Detectives Asking Question After Question About Her Best Friend’s Lurid and Mysterious Recent Murder When She’s Just Trying to Unload a Truck vibe. Does she LOOK like she has time for this?
At first I was a bit lost as to what this meant, but then I saw the actual photos with the model and immediately went “I see” XD A neat aesthetic, I just don’t know I could pull it off!
I am a soccer fanatic who barely knows the rules of basketball but BING BONG. The vibe in the city is palpable!
I loved watching Oh hi! And then told all my friends to watch it because I had so many thoughts and needed to debrief.
Speaking of under-the-radar comedies, I cannot recommend Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie enough! it will probably never be streamed on any of big services, so you have to pay out to see it, but it’s SO GOOD and (so much emphasis needed here) the less you know going in, the better. Seriously, don’t watch a trailer, don’t read the synopsis, just watch it. It’s so, so great.