What Did You Do This Weekend?
“Would you ever consider a Monday update?” a reader named Molly commented a while back. “It could complement to the ‘Have a Great Weekend’ posts. I’m always curious how the party went, which dress you chose, how the movie was, etc.” I’ve done a few weekend recaps since then, and here’s another — and please share your own in the comments…
Long-time readers may be as shocked as I am that Toby is LEARNING TO DRIVE. Time flies! We’ve been taking our old VW to empty parking lots so he can get the hang of accelerating, braking, turning, parking, and giving me a heart attack every now and again.
Also, on a walk through Manhattan, I came across an all-cat bookstore in the East Village. I took a photo for my cat-loving niece, along with a promise to bring her there next time she visits.
On Saturday, we went to the bar mitzvah of a beloved family friend, which was an absolute joy from start to finish. He did an incredible job standing in front of a synagogue full of 12- and 13-year-olds (the most discerning audience) and sharing his interpretation of the Torah.
Afterward, we sang, danced, ate pizza, and played arcade games…
…but the preteens were probably most entranced by the self-cleaning toilet across the street. It was low-key sick, as they say.
I was also moved by this congratulatory note from the boy’s uncles. What a wise and beautiful sentiment to hear at age 13.
Also, over the past week, I photographed people in Brooklyn for a street style issue of Big Salad (free for all)…
…so I laughed when I ran into a stranger this weekend and realized we were dressed exactly alike.
Finally, the boys and I are celebrating Mother’s Day tonight (since they were with their dad yesterday) and might see the movie The Sheep Detectives — we keep hearing great reviews. “In the 1980s and ’90s, movie studios routinely released family-friendly, PG-rated movies that actually lived up to that rating: They were intended for the whole family to watch, with parental guidance,” wrote Alissa Wilkinson in The New York Times. “Mature themes — death, divorce, other of life’s darker elements — might be mixed into lighter comedy. They weren’t kids’ movies that adults could endure, but meant for audiences of varied ages.” Have you seen it?
So! What were you up to this weekend? Walks? Books? Ice cream? I’d love to hear the highs, the lows, anything you’d like to share. xoxoxo
P.S. Lots of fun things, and are you religious?
Tags: anton, personal, toby, weekend recap
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147 commentsMy husband took me out for Mexican Saturday and then we went to see my Son in law to be and his band. I felt like a teenager again 😂. On Mother’s Day we had dinner in Tsawwassen BC Canada with our daughter and her partner. I received flowers, a hanging basket and a bottle of cider. I felt royally spoiled!
I love that note from the uncles – how lucky he is to have such a supportive family. This weekend was jam packed. Highlights were seeing & Juliet at the theater – what a great show! Funny, sweet and the music was fabulous. Had a rough start to my work week so Tuesday evening I made an easy sheet pan dinner for the family and went to the movies by myself as a total escape- saw The Sheep Detectives and very much enjoyed it. Laughed, cried, embraced the messages about grief, ate buttery popcorn, and went to bed after feeling a bit better post mini escape. And it was bargain Tuesday movie night as a bonus!
Oh sounds fub! And I love how the woman is carrying the Ikea bag. Makes me a proud Swede 🙌🏼
We saw the Sheep Detectives on Mother’s Day & enjoyed it! Funny, cute and held everyone’s attention, ages 7-41 ☺️
After six consecutive jam-packed weekends where not a moment was spent actually resting (basketball tournament! horse shows! Easter away!), I got two hours completely to myself at home just me and the dog on Saturday morning. It was blissful. I made myself a breakfast tray and had coffee watching reality tv and letting a sheet mask do its work. On Sunday it was back to normal – cheering my kids on in the show jumping ring and on the basketball court. But I will carry Saturday morning with me for the rest of this month.
I live in Minneapolis and am training for a marathon. I have been craving pancakes (Saturday was the longest training run I needed to do and my body wants carbs!). So,for Mother’s Day, I requested an early morning pancake breakfast at Ideal Diner (per your post a few weeks ago). The pancakes were unbelievable and the best I’ve ever had. The 3 person restaurant staff was amazing too. They have a sign that says “Ideal Diner. Where regular people feel special and special people feel regular.” That’s exactly the vibe there.
Oh I’m so glad you got to check out the original pancakes at Ideal Diner! It looks like such a great spot.
We spent Mother’s Day with a visit to the Whitney Biennial and then West Village brunch and the really cool Monstrum sturgeon playground at Pier 26. We’ve relocated to CT since being city-dwellers and most of the time it is so so lovely. But I get a real pang of homesickness when we “go into the city” and it feels so familiar and our daughters are having a ball and I want to move back!
I hosted my mom for the weekend and it was the first time in The Trump Era where it felt like we were truly connecting again. It’s been a rough decade with our differing views and I’m feeling very grateful for this reset. *Zero politics were discussed.
If you don’t mind sharing, could you share a few notes on how you made this happen? How does one connect again, knowing, even if not discussing, the deeply held beliefs of a parent, especially a mother, that shreds one apart? I am really struggling with my own mom at the moment.
Learned that my parents and all of my siblings and their families went out to eat together for Mother’s Day, without mentioning it to me at all. I had a sweet day with my husband and children but I have to admit that this one stings.
So sorry Anon. That must be really tough. Sending love.
Anon, I also feel sad that my nephew invited all of my siblings and their families to his wedding next month, but didn’t invite me or my family. I admit we aren’t close, but being left out does sting.
My boys showed me the trailer for Sheep Detectives and said this movie was made for you! I felt so seen! I love murder mysteries especially the cozy kind and I love cute animals so they were dead on. They are teens and its a beautiful thing to realize that they are paying attention to you too now. We went to see for Mother’s Day and really enjoyed it.
Toby driving?! It was just yesterday he was going on friend dates in his blue sport coat with gold buttons!
I saw Sheep Detectives on Friday with my 8-year-old, and we LOVED it. It was charming and moving and I cried. We’ve been singing a made-up song to each other: “sheep detectives! *clap clap* They detect sheep! *clap clap*” Also, I’m someone who can usually guess whodunnnit within the first third of the show/movie/book (it drives my husband crazy but he also begrudgingly respects it), but this one really kept me guessing until the very end.
There’s a book called Millions of Cats which our cat loving family has read over and over so much that the spine is now taped together. Highly recommend it for the cat loving kid in your life.
I LOVE Millions of Cats. I remember reading it as a kid ( I’m 67 ) and have the book from my daughter’s childhood also.
I had a cheerful weekend, we hopped down to the Toronto Flower Market where I picked up orange and red tulips to put in my blue and white Chinosarie vase. Went to a charming cafe (Ratelier for those in Toronto) and drank a very good yuzu matcha. And on Sunday we ate mung bean crapes (regional food from Tianjin, China. They’re very good!) for Mother’s Day.
Sunset on the beach on Friday where a HUGE great heron flew what felt like five feet above us (they are silent flyers! wild!), dinner and a friend’s punk show on Saturday, hung with the MIL on Sunday and grilled lobster, shrimp, and salmon! And of course ended the weekend with the Sunday scaries :)
My husband and I had our parents (and one of our kids who’s nearby) over for Mother’s Day breakfast. Then, later in the day two friends and I went on a Mother’s Day trek during which we walked to get books, plants and mugs as special treats to celebrate (one of us also got a new perfume oil–fun!).
I recently realized that all my planning skills go into actively parenting my toddler, which means that I’m no longer the sort of spontaneous-plans-haver that I once was. But then I realized: I can once again be a plans-having person with a little coordination! So now on Thursday afternoons I have a weekend planning date with myself and it’s going really well! This weekend we got food truck dinner at a street festival, had an at-home session with our dog trainer, got mid-afternoon reservations at a fave neighborhood Italian spot, and had dim sum brunch on mothers day! We even carved out a Friday afternoon movie-on-the-couch date before daycare pickup. I had to attend my university’s graduation on Saturday night (I’m a college professor), so getting an early dinner was the perfect way to ensure the day felt like a real weekend day with ample family time, not a work-obligation day. When I left to get to campus, my husband and toddler joined some family friends in heading back to the street festival, partly so that our kid could reprise his Friday evening feat of eating his weight in empanadas. And I had as relaxing an evening as one can in billowy regalia. I sat with work friends I don’t usually get to see and we did a NYT crossword puzzle together, passing a friend’s phone up and down our row. My only regret was packing a tiny water bottle for the 4 hour ceremony. Don’t sacrifice function for form, friends!
He’s learning to drive?!?!?! I remember when he was born! The passing of time never fails to surprise me.
We have an all-cat store here in San Diego called Purrgatory. How cute is that name?!
I went to an absolutely beautiful AND FREE exhibit of Matisse paintings, sculptures, and drawings that are mostly held in private collections at the Acquarella Gallery on E 79th street, right around the corner from the Natural History Museum. It’s leaving soon and is just breathtaking.
I would love Monday posts. This is the only blog I follow religiously, along with Big Salad. My daughter has been taking flower arranging classes at our local community college, and for Mother’s Day she made me a beautiful ikebana arrangement. My family also treated me to brunch, and afterward we went for a long walk exploring the neighborhood together. On another note, my son is moving to NYC for work this fall. I’m honestly not sure who’s more excited — him or me. I can’t wait to visit him and explore the city. I’ve actually been adding ideas from Cup of Jo and Big Salad to my NYC travel notes for the past few years. A friend recently mentioned that Airbnbs aren’t really allowed in Manhattan anymore, so I’d love to know what other options people recommend besides big hotels. Are there any cute boutique hotels or neighborhoods nearby that are good for short-term rentals when I visit? My son will be living with roommates, so I’ll definitely want my own place. Thanks in advance!
Where did you get your glasses Jo?!
Hi! Here’s the pair she gets from Warby Parker :) https://go.shopmy.us/p-57889412
The Sheep Detectives for me, was delight. The story, the filming, the voices.
Tried to see The Sheep Detectives this weekend but it was SOLD OUT! Going to see with a coworker tomorrow :)
Same! Trying again tonight with the family!
I bought myself a pair of overalls for gardening in for Mother’s Day, and was happy to put them to work for a few hours each day over the weekend. Went to lunch, then took my kiddo to a new park, where she proceeded to have an epic meltdown. (I’d almost forgotten park meltdowns, and that is perhaps why I forgot to bring snacks, water, hats – you name it, I did not have it. Sometimes I forget that she’s 6, not 16!) Sunday was better: she made me breakfast in bed (yogurt parfait ftw) and we went to the garden centre and then spent the afternoon drawing and making cookies and pizza for dinner. My mom died five years ago and ever since then Mother’s Day has been a day tinged with grief for me. But we got through it!
My family does this weird thing where if there is a day that is intended to be fun, we make it miserable (birthdays and Christmas are prime targets, but clearly Mothers Day is not immune!), so my weekend was a test of patience. But I know those kids love me, every day of the year. Maybe we can hold it together for Father’s Day?
This sounds familiar! Did I say “worst Mother’s Day ever” to myself on Sunday, yes :) But we will keep trying. I know the love goes both ways but some days are really tough, especially when I have the expectation of a “special day”.
YES. This is why I now travel with two friends (also mothers) every year for the weekend of mother’s day.
My nephews used to do the same with my sister! Before her birthday one year I was like hey buddies, sometimes you’re kind of jerks on her birthday so why don’t you think about how you’d like to be treated on YOUR birthday, and then do that? And then I started texting them reminders for stuff like Mother’s Day, “reminder to be nice to her tomorrow!” Being gently called out on it seemed to actually work, miraculously? Some of it is them getting older, but even on that first birthday they were pretty young and I was so happy they listened because they were the absolutely worst on her birthday and Mother’s Day for years!
If they make it miserable, then next year ship everyone but you out of the house and enjoy the peace and quiet and whatever you’d like to do. Or, leave them there and spend the day at a spa or another fun activity without any chaos.
We went to a handmade pasta making class that was geared toward kids and it was magical. The instructor had the kids come up to the front of the class where she demonstrated how to mix the dough or how to shape the pasta and then released the kids back to us (the parents) to teach us. It was so empowering for the kids to feel like they could lead us and correct our technique. And added bonus, my normally picky 7 year old devoured her pasta with red sauce. Such a treat! I also usually ask the kids to go on a hike with me on Mother’s Day morning. We had to pivot to a walk to our local park due to muddy hiking trails but when we were at the park, my kids suggested a parents vs. kids game of capture the flag. Friends – this was SO much fun! We laughed, cheered on our teammates, and spent the walk home rehashing the game and planning our next outing. A new tradition has been born.
I got to spend ALL weekend with my youngest daughter, who lives abroad. She bought me a bouquet of tulips and wrote me a long, heartfelt Mother’s Day card (reader, I wept!) On Sunday, my sweet oldest daughter called (also lives away from us, sob!) and we had a lovely brunch with my mom who is going strong at 79 despite several serious health issues in the past 5 years.
My boyfriend and I went out and played darts (somehow I won a game??) and I realized how I don’t practice basic math often enough, as scoring was tripping me up. Then I celebrated my exuberant niece’s second birthday. Watching her run around the yard with her balloon all afternoon and look for rolly pollies was such a simple joy.
Non related question, and sorry in advance to be THAT person asking for links, but I have been curious for SO long! Would you share where your glasses are from please? Are they prescription? Do they have transition lens? They always seem like sunglasses in the daylight but seeing glasses indoors. So many questions lol Thanks so much!
I believe she gets her glasses from warby Parker
Hi! Yes, this is the pair she gets from Warby Parker :) https://go.shopmy.us/p-57889412
That sentiment is everything! What a place the world would be if every 13 year old could hear that re: becoming a man or a woman! Filing that away for my children’s & niece’s teen years. :) +1 rec for Sheep Detectives!!! I’ve been not-so-subtly begging my husband to become a shepard with me since seeing it on Friday. Also, I haven’t been to a movie theater in many years and did everyone else know how fancy they are now?! Reclining lounge chairs?! Servers delivering you food & drink to your seats?! I’m basically going around telling everyone “you guys, have you heard of going to the movies?!”
Well done Molly for suggesting this. I loved hearing about your weekend. I have often wondered the same thing and wanted a recap of your weekend. For me, we went to the V&A museum to see the Schiaparelli exhibition – my husband is getting used to looking at a suit or dress and having to make interesting comments on it. The rest of the weekend was spent gardening, watching Arsenal, oh and a tip run which I had been putting off but took about 10 minutes – what is it with the tasks that seem so cumbersome but are easy and quick when I finally do them?
My two oldest kids play high school and travel baseball, so this weekend, as in all weekends past this spring, I found myself traveling a couple of hours to watch baseball. I was never a baseball fan (in fact, I was the only child to a single mother, and sports just wasn’t something I was into). But I am now. I’ve learned most of the rules, and enjoy watching my kids play at increasingly high levels. It’s been so fun to watch them go from playing t-ball to coach pitch, to hitting off of guys throwing 70-80 and making some tough double plays. My son who had the tournament this weekend pitched wonderfully. His curveball was moving and causing all kinds of trouble. And his team ended up runners up. It was my first Mother’s Day without my own mom and grandma, both of whom passed this fall and winter. I was glad to have this beautiful weekend of excitement to keep my mind off of my losses. It was a wonderful way to spend Mother’s Day.
Loved this post – such a fun packed weekend ! :-) I was celebrating, big day for us Hungarians! Finally, after 16 years we got rid of our corrupt goverment and Saturday was the inauguration of our new government and PM. Emotional, happy, crazy times … which seemd unimaginable few weeks ago. Proud to say I’m Hungarian again! it was the party of the year!
The amount of times I discussed & rejoiced with my sister and anybody that wanted to hear it talking about Péter Magyar/Hungary, Zohran Mamdani/NYC, Emmanuel Grégoire/Paris, Dominik Krause/Munich etc etc I AM SO GRATEFUL! To many more. It feels really good to see so many lights at the end of a very dark murky tunnel.
On Saturday morning I was awakened by the sound of my husband crying in the kitchen. My heart and mind raced with fear and dread at what might have happened. I yelled out as I hurried to the kitchen and found him streaming tears of joy and relief while watching the inauguration of Magyar Peter.
Kata, this is such a beautiful poem, it made me cry with tears of relief. I am so happy for you, and Europe.
Russian here, so happy for you Veronika! We sadly have long forgotten what it feels like when a president changes…
Your weekend sounds so much fun! Random question, how do driving lessons work in New York (or in fact any part of the States). In Scotland, we have to do driving lessons, most of us go to professional driving instructors although some parents do teach their kids (my Mum and Dad did not!) and then after a few lessons, our parents quite often take us out in their cards in between lessons. Once we are at a stage where we think we are ready to get our licence, we do our theory test (the results for this last 2 years), our hazard perception test and then our practical test which is about 30 minutes out on the open road. We can get up to 14 minor marks against us (I think) or if we get one major then we have failed. Once we have passed, we would still need special licences to drive buses, lorries etc. Anyway it would be interesting to find out how other countries/states approach driving. My weekend was nice. My new sparkly kitchen is up and running so friends came to stay to christen it on Friday night and on Saturday we went for a 13km walk round Aberdeen which was nice. Sadly my friend came down with a 24 hour bug so we had to come back my house earlier than planned where she spent all night being sick. On the Sunday they had to drive home to Inverness which was not the best! My daughter was away at Scout Camp where she had a fab time and we had a lovely time on Sunday evening watching some of our favourite vloggers. Love a wee Sunday evening with her!
Growing up in the Midwest, here was my experience: Age 14 or 15 (depending on the state), study a book and take a written exam about road safety (sounds like your theory exam). If passed, you now have your driver’s permit. This allows you to operate a car with a licensed driver in the front seat. I then took a weekly driver’s education course over the summer (other kids take it through their school) where you have a driving instructor giving you feedback as you learn all the skills and practice driving on real roads. You have to complete a certain number of practice hours – usually done with your parents. At 16, you take a practical exam where you drive around your city with an official tester who is evaluating your knowledge, skills, and safety. If you pass, you’re officially a licensed driver! Alternatively, you can wait until 18 and take the practical exam without any record of practice hours.
In this right now. In CO, you have to hold a permit for 12 months and have 50 hours behind the wheel to get your license. So if you want your license at age 16, you take drivers Ed at 14 1/2, permit at 15, license at 16. Drivers Ed is $$. I think if you wait until 18 to get your license, requirements change. My 15 1/2 year old has done 2 out of 3 in-car sessions for drivers Ed and the second one they had her drive in the mountains!
Thanks Cate and Morgan for replying re driving. My friend moved to Houston about 20 years ago from Scotland (she had never learnt to drive here) and her test seemed to be driving round a Parking Lot and reversing in a straight line which didnt seem to be a lot! Sounds like that may have just been Houston though!
The sheeps detective sounds hilarious! I’ll check if it’s in France! I spent most of the week end reading, Intermezzo by Sally Rooney, thanks to a cupofjo reader! It’s soo good. One chapter to go, and i find it really hard to go about my daily activities. Love from Paris
I had ACL surgery 4 werks ago and can‘t wait to walk without crutches and move again! So my weekends are pretty limited right now, but it can only get better! :)
Hang in there!! You got this :) I’ve had ACL surgery before, too and was so happy when I was finally off crutches!
There has been so many great book recommandations on this blog lately. I just wanted to give special thanks to the readers who recommended the Unselected journals of Emma M. Lion serie by Beth Brower, it is such a delight, while also dealing with some serious themes with surprising beauty and grace. And to the readers who recommended the What should I read next podcast with Anne Bogel: it’s so good! Also, the driving. I remember my mom (who is NOT a chill driver) taking me to an empty parking lot to teach me how to drive (with a stick shift!). It was, of course, a disaster.
Yes! I agree! Whoever first posted about Emma M. Lion, I owe you a Coke of your choice. I loveddddd it!
Ooo I am so happy you are enjoy Emma M Lion, I think I might have been one of the gals the recommended it. I keep talking about it where ever I am on the internet and irl ahaha… but I love this series so much and I believe the ninth novel is out later this year! Cannot wait to read it.
Another Emma M Lion sreies fan here! I am on book 4 and just LOVE the audiobook narration. It is amazing, soothing, funny, sharp, feminist, romantic, charming, delightful. Plus, each book is under 5 hours on audio so easily completed.
emma m. lion books are the best!
I saw The Sheep Detectives. It’s OK. Hugh Jackman is in it for 60 seconds. Watch Remarkably Bright Creatures on Netflix. I ugly cried. So happy to see Sally Field still at it!
Oh cool! I read the book (RBC) and didn’t know it became a movie – will watch tonight, thanks!
I read that book and loved it and totally spaced that there was a movie until seeing it on Netflix – I stayed up way too late Sunday night but gosh it’s good!
A ferry ride and a craft show…I never met a craft show I didn’t like, and found a few treasures…namely, earrings! Happy Mothers Day to me! Mothers Day was pretty chill…husband and I went to an oyster pop up at a local wine tasting room…and live Irish music! Then home for a soft shell crab dinner!
My parents were due to visit for the weekend but their flight got cancelled so it meant I got to go and visit my bears for free (the park allowed free entrance for David Attenborough’s 100th birthday), squeeze in a tough climbing session and have my snowboarding lesson this weekend. The snowboarding is so fun but I hate the button lifts :'(
Sammi, from somebody who has snowboarded since 1996… I STILL hate the button lifts!! You are not wrong, they are hell, just put all your weight on your front foot and pray. They do get easier, but they never get fun!
That sounds like a great weekend. The clothing twin! Hahah! That is funny! AND you both look equally great! The Bar mitzvah looks like a beautiful and heartwarming event. I had to laugh about the self-cleaning toilet. A good friend of ours was travelling through Europe and using one of those and somehow was inside at the wrong time and get washed with the bathroom. We laughed so hard when he told the story (which he told much better than me!)
On Friday I hosted a “Reading Party in the Library,” which was an event I donated to our school auction. I had 12 kids, kindergarten through second grade, come to the school library in the evening (!), in their pajamas (!!), with their stuffies and sleeping bags. They ate approximately a thousand bags of microwave popcorn, drank hot chocolate–and we had only two spills–colored bookmarks, choose take-home pencils and stickers, and picked several books to keep in our book swap. We watched online read alouds and then the night ended with kids snuggled in their bags and blankies while I read a couple books aloud. Several kids said it was the best night ever and I loved it, too! The only negative feedback I got was from one child who told me today, Monday, that he had really wanted more popcorn. Haha! I love them, and I love being their school librarian!
That sounds like so much fun for everyone !! I’d love that ! :). The online read -alongs are pretty neat. I use them to preview books I buy for great niece and nephew gifts. Great niblings I guess you people on here call them ! Ha, I’m catching on ! But yeah what a great time you provided.
You sound like an amazing librarian! Every child should have a librarian who inculcates a love of reading like this!
I haven’t seen sheep detectives yet but it’s gotten me excited for a rewatch of Babe and its under-appreciated sequel, Babe: pig in the city.
I love Babe. “That’ll do, Pig, that’ll do ” So dear. I never saw the sequel. I just put the book Three Bags Full on hold at my library. There is a wait list ! I just read on here Sheep Detectives is based on it.
I’ve had a book club for almost 20 years. A dozen years ago my friend suggested we read this book narrated by sheep…who solve a mystery. We had our doubts but really enjoyed it, and it’s a rather renowned book club selection. It was delightful to finally see the movie, and to see it give people so much joy–I hope the book gets a second life as a result!
Re: the movies, our family just re-watches movies from the 90’s (and 80’s, which is more my husband’s childhood era). Last night we watched Babe and it was really sweet and funny, my 9 year olds enjoyed it and I did as well. Other recent watches: -Mighty Ducks 1&2 -National Treasure -The Goonies (obvi) -Honey I Shrunk the Kid (and blew the kid up) -Mrs. Doubtfire My kids are always floored when the plot points would be solved by the Internet or a cell phone and I explain we didn’t have those things in the dark ages!
Mighty Ducks is so great!!
“Help is on the way dear!” “It was a run-by fruiting!”
What lovely weekends everyone had! Mine was spent dedicated to 6 year old birthdays and play dates on Saturday, made lovely with sunshine and catching up with old friends. On Sunday I received the obligatory Mother’s Day pancakes, a wander and ice cream around a local tourist market Coombs “Goats on The Roof” where there are, indeed, goats on the roof. Followed by a garden supply stop, and my husband and I put together a growing arch for my garden! The season of abundance is here!
So you live on Vancouver Island! :)
Sheep movie review! I also saw that video in the NYT and want to take the fam.
We went on the Historic Homes Tour in Galveston, Texas yesterday. These grand old homes survived the1900 hurricane and have been updated while preserving past features, including a former brothel (one of many on that street back then, per the tour guide!) – now an Airbnb near the cruise port.
We saw the sheep detectives movie this weekend with our 8 and 10 year old kids – it was so great! We all thought it was funny and sweet, and it was our kids’ first real experience of a ‘who done it’ movie – they loved it.
Your weekend sounded like a lovely mix of adventures and kicking off a new era with Toby learning to drive! I started a new job today , and after being nearly 100% remote since 2020, am on site 5 days a week, so the weekend was some last minute shopping and major overthinking about everything! I’ll be revisiting some of the COJ style posts for sure : )
Congrats! I’m the final stretch of interviewing for a great role that will put me on site (1200 miles away!) so I am eager for any tips you have to ease the transition back into the “real” world. Good luck on your first week!
Best of luck on the final stretch, Melanie! So far it’s actually been less jarring to me. I would suggest giving yourself a lot more time than you think you need to get ready and get out of the house in the morning and do some test runs of outfits, shoes you can be in all day without pain (learned this the hard way yesterday), packing your work bag etc. I am also trying to leverage the change to add in better boundaries (like taking actual breaks instead of working straight through when I was remote) and using the commute home as a ritual to let go of the workday. Change is good and teaches us a lot about ourselves – I’m always blown away by how quickly humans can adapt.
I got to sleep until 2pm, which is mind blowing since I have a 1 year old. Unfortunately he got up at 5:30am and I heard him on the monitor so of course I couldn’t get back to sleep. But I lounged in my bed and holed up in my room for 8 full hours until I re-joined society. I finally felt rested for the first time in a year.
So so so happy for you ⭐️⭐️ Raising/loving/feeding/soothing etc etc a baby to 1 is such an accomplishment. Good job mama!!!!
I’m a teacher and have an alter ego “Summer Kate”. Though classes aren’t over yet, she miraculously showed up Saturday morning and I had the most amazing weekend, free of stress and feeling relaxed. So, it’s officially Summer Kate Season and I invite everyone to join in on the fun.
Tell me more!
I don’t have summer off (early Ed teacher), but i can still relate! Summer Sasha is here and loving life. No more bundling in snow suits and toddlers crying because they hate their snow boots. Somehow they just tolerate sun shirts and hats and sun screen so much better. And we spend almost all day every day outside and it’s glorious. On weekends, there’s bbq garden burgers, and long drives to amazing trails followed by milk shakes and long trail runs every Friday and camping and so much sunshine!! Summer is so short and we don’t waste a second. Heading to a cabin this Friday!!! Wild flowers!!! Butterflies! Outdoor concerts! Jumping in lakes!
We took our three-year-old to Ikea to look at outdoor furniture Saturday, not anticipating the Disneyland wonder he’d experience perusing every little household set up. So many couches to sit on and kitchens to observe. “Look, Mama, an oven! A fridge! Another one!” Giggles when he pretended to use the potty… Veg chicken nuggets and french fries and helping his dad push the cart with our boxes… Sunday, a long run with two mama friends then the playground with my brave boy, ever climbing higher and farther on the big kid side of the park. It rained in the afternoon so instead of grilling as planned we shopped the prepared foods section at Whole Foods and had ice cream. Grateful for a weekend that felt like a reset.
our kiddo grew up near an ikea, and it was a free palace of wonders when he was little — especially when it rained. the kid’s section allows them to try out the bunk beds and play with the little kitchens and tool sets (or at least ours did), and there are all those bins of stuffies gently off-gassing. it was great.
I can’t believe Toby is learning to drive, wasn’t he just born??? Weekend was nice—lots of prep work for our impending baby’s birth—the nursery is getting there (though I keep reminding myself that he’s unlikely to spend much time there for a while!) For Mother’s Day my husband, daughter and I hung out—husband brought us pastries in the morning, we had a beautiful drive to Goat Rock Beach (Sonoma County, CA) not too far from our home where we were able to see the harbor seal nursery—every year (April-Juneish) mamas come there to have their pups and care for them when they are young and the way they move and sun is just adorable. We stopped for ice cream in Guerneville on the way home (Nimble & Finn’s—I had honeycomb & lavender, highly recommend.) Then home again for an easy dinner and a walk.
Ooo they DO have good icecream! My mom friends and I did a Mother’s Day getaway there a couple years ago and we were just talking about how good it was this weekend- for this year’s mom’s getaway weekend. We are trying to decide on next year’s location. Somewhere on the west coast, ideally a cute walkable town, and adult summer camp vibes with delish dinner options. Any brilliant suggestions?
Oh my lord – Toby behind the wheel just rocked my world I so clearly remember reading along with your pregnancy and his birth and my mind is completely blown
My mum took our kiddo for a sleepover and my husband and I went to see THE DRAMA. I loved it! Performances were awesome and a fascinating premise. A thoroughly modern film. As the credits rolled, I leaned over to my husband and said, “Now that was a great runtime!” I’m so sick of seeing films that are SO UNNECESSARILY LONG and full of scenes that didn’t need to be there. In the last half hour of Project Hail Mary I muttered to myself “just let them die in space!” Reminded me of this incredible SNL sketch https://ew.com/movies/netflix-short-ass-movie-category-saturday-night-live/
Melinda, yes! I’m off the opinion that there are VERY few films that should longer than 90 minutes.
I spent Mother’s Day crying with severe pmdd. If anyone has found worthwhile solutions … happy to hear !
Avoid protein and caffeine (you WILL be craving them extra hard) like the dickens. (This includes sneaky protein like peanut butter and sneaky caffeine like dark chocolate). It will make a major difference.
Big hugs <3 I like this blog, Morning Person, and she talks about her experiences with PMDD. Sharing in case helpful https://www.morningpersonnewsletter.com/p/issue-132-how-tracking-my-cycle-changed
So sorry May, sending hugs. An SSRI really helps me with this – ask a GYN or psychiatrist about varying dosage through the month.
I’m sorry for your suffering, May. Do you have experience with Yaz? My 18 year old suffers from terrible pmdd. She’s just finished her first cycle on Yaz (generic) and so far it’s been a miraculous change. Much more effective than SSRIs. I’m generally opposed to synthetic hormones but this could be life changing for our family. Good luck!
Prozac!
So sorry, May. The timing always seems to be terrible, doesn’t it? I use high dose (2000 mg) vitex agnus castus (chasteberry) plus magnesium supplements to live with PMDD. For me, its the difference between living in despair and feeling just fine. There isn’t a lot of research on safe dosing unfortunately (I’ve scoured the clinical literature), but I use the high dose anyway because it *really* helps me. Worth talking to your doctor about.
I’m on continuous hormonal birth control (no placebo week – was also dealing with heavy bleeding and migraines). It has helped me a lot! I hope you get some help with this, it can be very tough.
Finding out I have adhd and treating it has helped mine a ton!
My PMDD was a total bear. It snuck up on my in my early 30s and I’d fall down into a black pit of despair in the days preceding my period. The only thing that helped was continuous birth control with a bleed every few months. Godspeed. PMDD is the worst.
PMDD is a menace – I’m sorry you’re experiencing it too. Vitex and saffron supplements as recommended by my ND. SSRIs unfortunately don’t work for me but these alternatives have really helped. Cycle tracking so I can anticipate PMDD symptoms and plan accordingly/set up supports. Reminding myself that these same thoughts and feelings come and go every month and PMDD is not a reliable narrator of my life. I will feel better in x amount of days (this is where cycle tracking has been really helpful and shockingly accurate for me ).
So sorry you’re experiencing this too. The only thing that I have found that works for me is an antihistamine (specifically, I take Levrix, levocetirizine). This brings me back relatively quickly (a day or two) from the dangerous precipice of panic and suicidal ideation. It sounds too simple to be true, but I understand there’s a bit of anecdotal evidence which you can read about on Dr Jolene Brighten’s website.
Hello May, I am so sorry you are dealing with PMDD. It is so hard. First sending you a BIG hug through the universe. 🤗 Second, below is a link to a short snippet if a conversation btw two experienced practitioners Tami Rowen of UCSF & Mary Claire Haver about effect of Progesterone on PMDD. This was revelatory for a friend who had crippling PMDD. I hope this helps you. https://m.youtube.com/shorts/Z9C5BNf-rMM
hi everyone on this thread, i am also on continuous birth control for terrible periods after childbirth, and am now reaching menopause age. has anyone else gone through this? how do you transition? do you just go off the pill and then have the worst few months of your life? if i miss even one i have a three-day migraine. would love to even see a post on this somewhere, doctors are kinda vague, and in general i can’t seem to find how to (or even if i ever should) step away from continuous birth control.
May, I’m so sorry! F*ck pmdd! I used to get it severely as well — a couple of things helped: 1. Cutting out caffeine entirely 2. Reducing your stress as much as you can (look into Rhodiola for help with that, Gaia Herbs is a good brand) 3. Check to see if its histamine-related. Easiest way to do this it to take an OTC pepcid when you’re mid-pmdd and see if you feel better when it kicks in. If you DO feel better, adopt a low-histamine lifestyle for a while. 4. And if none of that is working, you may want to check this new medical device out (https://www.samphireneuro.com/en-us/products/lutea)– I’ve not used it (because I got pregnant right when it arrived), but I have it and plan to use it after baby arrives if PMDD rears its ugly head. It’s expensive but this company seems to be on the cutting edge of pmdd and pms research right now. Hope you feel better soon x ps. Histamine was my culprit — I managed that and my PMDD went away. I still had gnarly physical symptoms pre-pregnancy, but that felt far more manageable vs. physical and mental symptoms
The pod cast Ovary Reactive, two ob gyns who specialize in perimenopause nonsense, will help you! I promise. They will have ideas you can take to your own Dr. And it might be pretty simple! Really and truly. (It could also be a lot of trial and error, it’s OK, you WILL solve this) This was me at 40. It was brutal. And my Dr had a solution for me!!! (For me it was continuous birth control pills, your solution might be different). I was better in a month. Like 100% better. I consider this simple intervention life saving for me. I wish you the best of luck!!!
JDP, this info is from my Dr and two ob gens on the pod cast Ovary Reactive (highly recommend). I started continuous bc pills at 40 for pmdd and other symptoms of peri gone off the rails. Worked a charm. It’s generally considered sage to continue until age 55. At 50, I added an estrogen patch and estrogen vaginal cream to treat some mild menopause symptoms. I’m 53. My plan is to switch to a progestin/progesterone pill (I still have a uterus) at 55, and go off the pill, and potentially increase my patch dose.
Thank you to everyone who responded on this thread. I am going to look into each option as the monthly mental hell is unbearable. It truly takes me from a somewhat normal person into not suicidal but wanting to be dead and feeling utterly hopeless which is awful when I have two children and need to be stable. It’s gotten worse as I hit perimenopause and as you all know, it’s exhausting! Truly appreciate the advise and excited to research these !
Severe PPMD is hard to beat without meds. Please ask your OB or PCP about this. There’s no reason to suffer and keep putting yourself through this!
seeing toby learn to drive, when I remember reading about his birth during my university class, thinking how I’d never be old enough to have a child of my own. and yet here I am. 35 with my own daughter. and there you are, with a son learning to drive, and another not too far behind. what a pleasant marker of time this blog had been for me :) thanks jo!
Teenage boys make me weep these days. I know there are some damning documentaries but where I live there seems to be a large resistance to this culture. I see big groups of boys on bikes with fishing rods. Lanking around, all limbs, ribbing eachother in who has the best lures?? I see five twenty year-olds chatting enthusiastically to an old man at a garage sale. I see them code switch into ma’am respect when I talk to them. One time, in the ocean, a teen boy saw me bristling at the biting cold water and shouted “you can do it!! Let’s count her in” and they did. 3,2,1 and then from under water I heard the cheer.
Thank you so much for sharing, Tracey. How exquisite.
This made my day! “3,2,1”!!!!
Yes! I love teenagers. At their best and also at their most mediocre, they inspire hope for the next generation. For example, they are constantly picking braces colors to match their friends, scheduling getting their braces off with their bestie, or being wonderful to little siblings. They are constantly inspiring.
this is just the most delightful comment. <3
Absolutely beautiful.
I saw this comment in the Friday roundup and had to find it to comment. This is JUST BEAUTIFUL and beautifully written. It gives me hope and makes me smile. If you aren’t a writer, you should be! Thank you for this.
Same! I saw it in the Friday round-up and came here to see the original. I teared up reading it. I have two elementary-aged girls who are friends with many wonderful boys. I see the boys at their school being very tender with each other and it brings me such joy. Your comment is a wonderful peek into the future–thank you for sharing.
Where do you live ? This is lovely
Had the best refreshing weekend after a really tough week. Lunch and pedicures with a friend, then my fam and I hiked around our neighborhood for the annual secret garden tour (so cool!) and had a snack tray/ movie night. Then Sunday, I laid in bed with my kid and snuggled for a while and then moved to the couch while they made me pancakes. We went to the plant nursery and had lunch, then came home and went to the pool. My husband got me the new Noah Kahan album on vinyl and my daughter got us matching water guns (we ran around the yard cockling and getting soaked after school today). 10/10, no notes.
My girl has played softball since she was 4, and…has never really felt great at it. She loves the sport, her teammates, but never felt skilled enough to really be good at it. She’s worked with a batting coach for a while, but between hormones, EXTREME growth spurts (which affect her joints and center of gravity) and the curse of 7th grade being the worst year of most people’s lives…was having a terrible time of it this year. Missed some games and practices, almost quit “But who AM I without SOFTBAll???”, etc. They got into the final playoffs this weekend, she got 2 monster hits, (she rarely gets any hits) got a run, and brought in 2 other players, AND THEY WON!!! I cried so hard (but privately!). I am not a Sports Monster Mom, I’ve always said, if it ain’t fun, we ain’t doin it. But this was so important to her, I am so so thrilled that she FINALLY got to feel good at it, and truly helped her team win these games, for the title. At this age, it is getting very competitive, parents are taking it (way too) seriously, and we just hoped she could stay in for the season and have some fun like she used to. And, dear COJers, SHE DID!!!
I loved this mini story – so happy for your daughter!
Love this! Such big warm fuzzies! Thanks for sharing!!
Joanna, you look radiant & it’s fun to see the lovely things you’ve been up to lately! Could you please share who makes your beautiful blue-striped Oxford shirt? Thanks so much.
I had the best Mother’s Day I’ve had in a long time. My youngest daughter took me to lunch and we went shopping. She brought me flowers she arranged and some self-care items. My oldest who lives in another state and my son-in-law contributed to the occasion. Plus my youngest made me one of her beautiful handmade cards. My husband cooked salmon for dinner.
Saturday I got my hair cut and colored (i do this about twice a year) and it turned out amazing! Then on Sunday my husband got my mother and I tickets to see Devil Wears Prada 2, followed by a baked potato bar with my kids for Mother’s Day dinner. The movie was better than I was expecting – actually i really enjoyed it! And the baked potatoes…yum. Delightful weekend overall!
My almost 4 year old spent what felt like the entire weekend having a meltdown. I tried every strategy and felt like a complete failure. He cried. I cried. We contacted 4 restaurants, to find out none were doing takeout last night. More crying. My husband brought home ice cream and has promised a Mother’s Day re-do. Today my son has had a much calmer day, and said to me, “mama, it feels good to have a good day. I’m so proud of us.” So maybe I’m doing something right?
Solidarity, Elle! I’ve got a newly 4-year-old daughter and whew, we’ve had days like that. So sorry that it happened on Mother’s Day! And what a sweet thing for your son to say :) Little ones at this age can be the hardest AND the sweetest. Enjoy your re-do!
Skipping the takeout was genius. I once stood in a vestibule of a restaurant for an hour and 15 minutes waiting for takeout on Valentine’s Day. It was really the worst. You’re a genius.
Oh, Elle! You are doing so many things right! I have been there. You are not a failure- I guarantee you are absolutely the perfect mom for this little guy with big feelings and his sweet words today are definitely evidence of that. Hope the ice cream was delicious.
We had to redo mother’s day as well. Spent actual mother’s day visiting narcissist stepmother and then a 4.5 hour drive home. 13yo had a total meltdown as soon as we got home and we ended up having Trader Joe’s frozen stuff for dinner. We decided a Do Over was in order. The family made me dinner last night, complete with flowers, wine, and dessert. Most importantly, 13yo got to feel better about himself by contributing to a better mothers day.
oh Elle, that is so sweet – what a mature response from your boy! it reminds me of the time my son threw an EPIC tantrum in the ski lodge. I finally threw in the towel and said i didn’t even want to ski anymore, we should just go home. he just looked up at me and said “but Mom, at least we are spending this nice time together!” I died laughing and then we went skiing.
I firmly believe that on Mothers Day, birthdays, whatever day you want to call your own – you can remove anything and anyone that will get in your way. Even if that means leaving the kid and partner and home and spending the day at a spa or reading a book somewhere other than the stress zone. Even walking around a grocery store by yourself. Whatever you want – but with no cause for stress on a day meant for you.
I spent a long weekend in Brooklyn, visiting my bff who moved there after college. Drawing upon CoJ recs, I visited Books are Magic in Brooklyn Heights wearing that exact same outfit. I strolled the promenade, sat on park benches sipping a turmeric latte, and just generally saw what life without kids or pets or a 9-5 would have been like. It was a wonderful weekend AND I was grateful to wake up in my own bed this morning, surrounded by pets and a child breathing hot air on my cheek.
IKEA bags are the bomb! 💙 Lower cost and more durable than paper gift bags. My grandchildren each get a medium-sized bag filled with their Christmas gifts every year.
The note! Oh, so wonderful! Learning to drive is such an experience. I did the teen version; the adult version is… wow… maybe one of the most profound parenting milestones. They seem so old and so young sitting in the seat. And it take so much effort from both of you to teach and learn, and not scream, cry, or die, and then they can drive! Which is still really scary, because they are out there driving without you! Whew. I’m going through this, too. Obiviously, lol. The matching outfit is amazing. It’s remarkably similar! And extra funny because I’d already noted the two teen girls looking at the toilet are wearing very similar outfits. (That whole photo made me smile!) And a cat themed bookstore?? lol!!
I like these Monday comments so much. They feel like a 10 minute call with a friend after a busy weekend. My son’s piano recital was Sunday and he did a really wonderful job, especially with his bow. Cute.
I saw The Sheep Detectives w my mom and brothers yesterday and I loooved it! I did cry several times lol