Have a Lovely Weekend.

oh my gosh, sob, Andreea. thank you so much for your kind words. I do have some thoughts on this, and would love to hear thoughts from others, too! I’ll think about how a post might work. thank you again xoxo

I will look forward to that post if it comes to be, thank you both!

random coincidence! I bet it was a nod to the Seinfeld episode :)

That’s such a fun coincidence. My husband grew up around Joshua Tree and down in Palm Desert. We are retiring in just a few weeks for his mother’s memorial service. It’s not ideal timing, beginning of May. I haven’t been there for decades. And I’m very anxious. I have a medical condition that makes fying on planes difficult and another that means i can’t regulate my body temp properly, so heat is really hard (over 80 and I’m usually not feeling well). In addition, family, death, grieving….. you get it. I am going to be thinking of your Big Salad fun hat! And I’m reminding myself that we will have a pool at our rental, and the water is going to feel really cool and nice. And I’m going to get fully recharged on vitamin D too!

Sasha, the weather in SoCal has been weird this year, so perhaps you will luck out with decent weather. I’ve lived in LA for almost 20 years and have been to the desert a few times, but this trip I finally GOT it. I’m on a deep spiritual journey and I felt fully in tune with what the desert had to offer. I saw the beauty of the desert – the tiny pops of color in a sea of beige and tan that shock you. I also had really wonderful human experiences and had surprising and deep conversations that made me so grateful to be alive.

Jo, this hat is so you. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a photo of you wearing a hat this color. What a sweet coincidence.

Sarah, that is just so beautiful. I’m going to really (really) try to see the beauty this time. It’s most likely the last time we’ll go. And I’ve never particularly loved much about the place. But there’s much that my jams has loved, and i want to share that. I’ve got my menopause neck fan (lol), I’ve got my loose linen outfits, I’ve got my electrolyte packets, I’ve got the pool, and best of all I’ve got my toddler grandson who LOVES the water like no kid I’ve ever met. I think we’re gonna love playing in the pool together. Thank you for helping me shift ❤️

@Sasha Consider one of those around the neck usb charged neck fans maybe. It’s a chunk of plastic but can also be helpful for someone with a condition like yours. There are also ones that emit a continuous mist of water into the fan which seems good? There are neck cooling gaitors you can dampen then where but I personally can’t bear anything around my neck in hot weather.

Jalee, I have one of those fan things! I’ve never tried but I’m bringing it. Thanks for reminder. And giant thanks for the gaitor idea. I do that hiking in the summer, but hadn’t thought of it, so will add to to my bag. Bandanas work really well too!

You put all of this, so succinctly. Can you please copy this, and paste it in every single time ANYONE tries to get us not to vote for whoever is against the fascists in the coming elections? We absolutely can not aim for anything like perfection. My issues: Not the fascists Not p3d0s or SAers. I have a very long wish list of things I would LIKE….. but we have to get the fascists out before we are even SAFE. I will not be swayed by anything else. Not this time. Our planet is at stake.

Sending all the good vibes your way, Meredith! You got this!

Sending a prayer your way Meredith — best wishes! 🙏

I’ve got you.

You’ve got this!! ((((all the good vibes for Meredith)))

Ahhhh! Meredith, so exciting. I–a stranger on the internet–do not want to jinx you by hoping for just this one, so just know that I hope you get the best job for you and your family…whether it is this one, or the next one, or one you haven’t even met yet.

Sending all the positive vibes your way! You’re going to be amazing!

From one Meredith to another — sending you all of the good luck and positive energy! I’m rooting for you. I’m also facing a big work-related transition, so fingers crossed for us both.

Oh, Meredith. I am hoping for the moon on your behalf. xox

Good luck! Crossing my fingers for you :)

Sending all the good vibes, I hope it works out for you! It’s stressful to be the sole earner.

Sending you the biggest goodest vibes!!!! Please report back ❤️

just said a little prayer for you!!! I hope you crush it and you get everything you want!!

so what happened?? how did it go???

Wow, respectfully, you have no idea what the American people are trying to do. I don’t condone much of what the United States as a country has done, but don’t you dare put that on all the millions of people who live here who ARE trying to do better.

Realistically, Heather, the fall of the American empire will do nothing but inflict pain and misery on the rest of the world, even worse than at home. Iran is a good current example. If you’re angry at the people of America, I’m just as angry at the people of the rest of the world for not standing up to trump (or Bush before him) and allowing all of this to happen. If we are somehow magically super powerful under hegemonic one party fascism, you all are even more powerful under your decently democratic socialist states, right? DO SOMETHING. HELP US. In case you haven’t been paying attention the last 3 elections, at least, have had significant illegal interference, and the last was most likely out right stolen (according to Trump and musk). We have several illegal members of the Supreme Court. The entire republican party is infiltrated with Russia ops. Our current govt is all too happy to turn its weapons on US, as we’ve seen in the massive protests of the last few months. And the gestapo are stealing people right off the streets. Not to mention a bizarre number of military and scientific persons just disappearing or being unexplainably murdered or dying. Please do tell us exactly what we should be doing to stop this? And tell us what you are doing to save yourself?

Based on your comment, I wish better for you too, Heather. Love from the US.

Also curious where you might live, Heather. Because if the answer is Europe, then pretty sure that means you guys ought to be in for a reckoning too. Do we also pray for the downfall of France, Belgium, and the UK? I don’t pray for the downfall of any nation, because the health of every state/people is beneficial for all.

And what country are you from, Heather?

Sheesh, I think it’s a lot better to work on improving “the system”, guess who suffers if the US gets murdered? Not the elites, who have long brought their money elsewhere I would assume. It’s the people in the middle, yes, including black and brown people. Glad you appear to live in a perfect country. So easy to criticize if you don’t live here.

I’m hoping for a better world — a more peaceful world — too.

that is certainly an opinion, if nothing else. and which country are you writing from? do you live in the US?

Heather, I’ve often wondered why Canada hasn’t opened up their borders to the unvetted 8 to 10 million people who crossed our southern border into our country during the biden administration. Many came in unlawfully, many claiming asylum, many looking for work and wanting a better life. ICE has acted horrbly. Heather. If you are from Canada, please urge your government to open its borders to these people. If you are not from Canada, please urge your government to open borders to these people. They need all the help they can get. I pray for peace too.

Heather- I’m making a guess as to where you’re from based on your name and the fact that you appear to speak native English. I could very well be wrong, but the precedent for incorrectness has been set! OMG what is this take

Do better, Heather. There are many, many, many good American citizens who for the lack of power and money cannot simply change our government. Please do not wish pain on suffering on more innocent people.

Easy there, Heather. Pretty sure the United States has saved Europe a few times already. Where have they been? Those Americans that don’t support this could use a hand. Although, with a name like Heather I’m thinking the call is coming from inside the house.

Heather, just gonna say, I see you. To everyone else, if the people of a country are not responsible for its actions in the world, then who is? While I would never judge an individual by their country’s practices, I think we as Americans need to better reflect on the great debt we owe to the majority of the world in terms of the pain, suffering and lack of freedom our country has inflicted. And if you truly don’t know what I’m talking about, I would recommend that you start by looking into the School of the Americas and Operation Condor. May we all know better so we can do better.

While I don’t agree with a lot of Heather’s post – murder, really? She has a point about our system. Frankly, most Democrats in Congress have also failed us. Schumer, Fetterman, Durbin, Jeffries, I could go on. They are all beholden to billionaires, AIPAC, etc. Many are voting against party lines for reasons I don’t understand. Legacy media is also failing the American people. I do think we need to tear down our system and rebuild otherwise nothing will ever change.

Jane I totally agree. The majority of congressional Dems have left us down for years. I’m a broken record when I say ” except Bernie ” but it’s true. There may be a few others but not many. The fact that they did not vote for Medicare for All speaks volumes. They are beholden to their lobbyists and personal agendas. Like save the ACA at any cost. I know the ACA was a start, but I’ve had it and it does not work well for a lot of people. I posted on here before about my relationship with the ACA. Their refusal to adopt Medicare for all when they could have speaks volumes about them as people. Medicare for All is just one example. They have not done much this year either as democracy crumbles at their feet. I also read that the reason many of them are not speaking out against this war more is because the blunder of it will benefit them in the midterms. So they are willing to lose lives and our tax dollars for their political gain. Guess they can’t win any other way. People are tired of most these congressional Dems. We need something else. Will anyone ever show the courage and consistency Bernie has ??????

High school history teacher here. I make it very clear to my students that the US is not perfect (no country is). I also make it clear to my students that the US has done some great things (assisting the Allies in beating Hitler, for one, and leading the Allies in rebuilding postwar Europe with US aid $ through the Marshall Plan, numerous inventions and innovations in medicine, science, technology, winning the space race, negotiating a peaceful end to the cold war) along with some really stupid and dangerous things (mistreatment of natives, CIA ops in the 20th c., the entire Vietnam ‘War’ debacle, Operation Paperclip, failure to follow through on Stalin’s purges and other human rights violations post-WWII, and so on). It’s so important to understand the bad and the good TOGETHER and to realize that a nation accomplish both throughout time. That doesn’t make a country or its people inherently righteous or inherently evil. It just makes them human.

How dare you, Heather. I can agree that America has done things poorly, our politics suck, etc – but how F’ING DARE YOU claim we are doing nothing, when we are doing everything we’re able, including dying for the cause. Keep our name out of your mouth and step on a lego barefoot.

Traci, “The call coming from inside the house” made me spit out my coffee!! Thank you ma’am.

Oh my, here’s Erin, coming in with facts and context and ending with “we are human”. Yep. It’s usually the history teachers that explain, history, and current events within historical context, with the most accuracy and clarity. Thank you for all you do Erin.

This is a shameful and ignorant comment, Heather. But it’s ok because here, you are allowed to speak freely. And that’s just ONE of our strengths.

I took a 3 week “May-mester” US history class in college at CU-Boulder in the late 90s. Every day for 4 hours we were taught about the absolute atrocities that the US government had been behind through the first 3/4 of the 20th century. On the last day, though, the professor made sure to make very clear that it meant something very AMERICAN that he was able to share the negative detail of our country without risk of arrest or murder. I’m not sure he could do that today – and that is because of Trump and the Republican party that has deserted their history and platform. Heather, I am so deeply offended by your comments. They are no better than Trump threatening to eliminate the Iranian civilization.

I am not an Oberlin alum but have friends who went their 20 years ago and ABSOLUTELY it is the place where anyone who has felt like the odd one out can find their tribe.

Not an Oberlin alum. Have sent two kids to college though. And here’s the thing; you won’t really know if your kid will thrive wherever they go. There’s so much out of your control and much much more in their control. Your role is changing–you are now more than ever on the side line–OK the very front of the sideline–cheering them on. But you have to let them go into their adulthood and experience it all. Be there for them when they call and let them know you’re thinking of them when they don’t. Trust that you have instilled in them the skills and wisdom they need for this step. You’ve got this, Mama!

Hello Anon! I attended Oberlin a long time ago. It’s definitely a place where people can find niche communities. Being non-binary would not be controversial there. The music conservatory and art museum create some entertainment options there that wouldn’t be available in all small college towns. If your child already has a strong sense of what they’d like to study, or guidance from you or other other mentors, they’ll be in good shape to choose their courses of study (there are not a lot of requirements in the curriculum). One thing that surprised me there was how many students struggled with the weather; it’s overcast/cloudy most days from fall to spring, in my memory. Bu they have a long January break, which helps.

Still the place! Not an alum, but know recent grads and students…

Anon- I did not end up attending the Oberlin conservatory a handful of reasons, one of which was my own parent’s issues with a more open community (for the record I am a cis-het wasp pianist). So it definitely has that reputation! I attended Susquehanna University, in PA, instead, and I was really happy there. I think if it feels like a good fit, it will be. If possible, my top recommendation is to visit in person, and tour, and meet some people. Fwiw this is often easier for people in the arts bc of auditions! And also, if it’s a money issue, I recommend talking to the financial aid office because their goal is to help people afford their choice and make a success of it. Good luck!

I’m a college professor, not at Oberlin, and I will say that one of my favorite things about MANY schools (and maybe smaller schools in particular) is how they naturally tend to create spaces for people who’ve struggled to find acceptance and understanding in high school, or who worry about not being able to recreate a healthy high school experience somewhere new. I’m at a small school and we consistently have a few students who major in our subject not as much because it’s their number one intellectual curiosity, but because they feel at home in our department. We have a fridge and a coffee machine for students, we have comfy couches in shared spaces and quiet corners just for students in the major, we have professors whose (neurodivergent, queer) kids have graduated from the program their parent teaches in. And I love it so so much. Not only do I make a point to be mindful of student identities and brain architectures, but so do their fellow students. My first few years, we had a student in the department who now has a career far outside our discipline, but who was financially independent, going through the closing steps of having been emancipated as a minor, and who had never traveled from the small city where our school is located. They identified us as an allied space, signed up for the major, leaned into the academic and interpersonal support we could provide, and now has a travel-based career, free from the family who’d made high school an impossible challenge, and free to be themselves. While I don’t think that would happen at [insert every/any school in the country], I also think this is happening at campuses in every corner of the country and for many, many students. I know it’s gotta feel like a tightrope, where your kid has to pick the exact perfect spot, otherwise the chance to become who they are will vanish, but what I’m saying is, the magic is more about your kid having the experience of college, and probably a number of schools would be, in retrospect, that ONE place where this all unfolded.

Hi! I went to Oberlin 20 years ago. Folks are right that the weather is a challenge, esp if kids are coming from someplace warm/sunny. TBH I struggled during my time there, but in retrospect many of the perspectives I learned have very much shaped who I am now (both personal practices/priorities and my professional trajectory) and I’m grateful for the experience. If your kid has niche interests, there are likely ways to grow them there. The academics are good. It’s a pretty welcoming place, esp for folks who have struggled to find their place otherwise. Best of luck!

Oberlin is a great choice for your kid ❤️

You seem like an awesome professor, Rue — love this perspective!

Thanks for the warning. Frankly, I am not sure why any book needs to have graphic depictions of such a thing. Should that be “entertainment”?

Thank you for this! I had placed a Libby hold and will now pass because I can’t read that.

::high five:: always appreciated this one looked like a winner, and we have everything on hand, so it’s on the list this week

Midge, just hopping in to say you are not alone. My kid’s first choice has a price tag we can’t afford and the second choice waitlisted her. She’s looking at accepting a school that was nowhere near the top for her. It’s such an incredibly stressful process for everyone. I feel you. Good luck to you and your kid in this journey, whatever the outcome.

Hi Midge, Mom of a senior here. It was truly a topsy-turvy ride of a college decision process at our house. My daughter did not end up committing to the place we thought she would for the last few years. I kept telling her (even on days when I wasn’t so sure) that she’ll end up where she’s meant to be and I truly believe that’s what’s happened, even though it’s different than we thought. This whole thing is such a crazy ride and it’s almost over. Here’s hoping that whatever ends up happening feels right for you and yours, even if it’s different. The rejection is so hard! I get it…..

Sending you hugs. College apps is on my list as one of the least fun parts of raising a kid. The amplified emotional soup is so hard, especially in high performing high schools. My first rec is for your child to submit a letter to Carleton requesting an application re-evaluation and letting admissions know Carelton is their first choice (This is important as admissions is evaluated on the acceptance % of admits). It’s still early. I have seen waitlist acceptances as late as August as some kids get waitlist accepted to their 1st choices and drop their current spot. Best of luck to you both. xo

Replying as someone who was waitlisted at Carleton back in 1998 (!). Ultimately I didn’t get in, and while it took me trying another school before transferring, I wound up at what ended up being the perfect school for me. In many ways it was the polar opposite of Carleton–it was in Southern California and I got to lounge around on the lawn amongst the orange trees in January, instead of trudging through snow! In hindsight, it my first experience with Cheryl Strayed’s Ghost Ship theory… I’ll never know what my life would have been like had I gone to Carleton, but life turned out to be very sweet anyway. All that said, going through all of this as a student was excruciating and I can’t imagine doing it as a parent. Hang in there, rooting for you and your student!

Same boat! It’s not easy, I keep trying to let go and trust but it’s hard.

Oh gosh Midge! I was waitlisted at Carleton in 2013 (!!!) and was so heartbroken that I cried. It is such a charming and lovely school, very rigorous, so I can totally see why your child’s heart would be set on it. I really hope it works out for them. I didn’t get in and instead went to college in a more urban area and had access to amazing internships and opportunities, which ultimately led me on my path I am on now (which I love). No matter what shakes out for your kiddo, this is just the first step in finding what is right for them!.

Really enjoying this show!!

I am enjoying Rooster so much! I got my mom hooked on it, too.

I am really enjoying this, too! It’s just so funny and wholesome (broadly speaking… not necessarily kid friendly!) and light.

I’m really loving this show so much. Bill Lawrence really knows how to make funny, human, good people shows. I love looking forward to this every Sunday night.

Yes to your comment Kitty!! Evolving away from sterile, mulch-heavy landscaping or vast lawns and more towards “messy” or natural gardens and landscapes that incorporate many native plantings is such a HUGE way — made up by small efforts! — we can all pitch-in for healthier environments, and combat climate crisis and support biodiversity. And in turn, we reap such amazing health benefits for us all!!! Not only do the plants and soils themselves benefit thrive, but pollinators, insects, birds, wildlife, and us humans too of course as we are part of nature :). The simple act of gardening/planting has made a huge personal impact for me in healing anxiety and depression, as well as so many other countless benefits to my overall health and wellbeing as well, such as physical strength building, healthier diet from homegrown foods, cognitive health as I expand my knowledge reading and learning and just being curious, family bonding with my kiddo as we plant pots and tend, community connections and social health by joining my local gardening club and volunteer work at my kid’s school garden, etc, etc. Note for the Cup of Jo Team! I love to browse House and Gardens UK for inspiration and enjoy these links you share often, but I would also love to see more links or posts featuring native gardens closer to your home base in US! And also more native gardens globally too, since this readership is broad. Coming to mind I think would make a really cool piece, would be maybe an interview or photo spread of Rebecca McMackin’s work with the Brooklyn Bridge Park?? I recently stumbled across a talk of her’s on Youtube from the Beth Chatto Symposium un the UK in 2024, and just am fascinated by that park now and would love to see a photo tour and learn more!!

When I stayed in NE Portland last summer, I was pleasantly surprised to see many signs indicating the yards are free of landscaping/pestitcides/leaf blowing, etc. The gardens and yards all looked less curated aka natural. it was so visually refreshing! I live in coastal southern CA and wish this type of movement would gain steam here. +1 for Portland, Ore.!

Love this idea!!

Thank you so much, Parisa! Xoxoxo

That’s so sweet <3

The only things my kids ever got out of my mothers purse was a tissue and a tic-tac. My grandbaby knows which little bag in my purse is for her. She never knows what it will hold. But there is now and always will be something special for her there. He older sister was not this way. We have different things between us, that belong to just the 2 of us.

St Olaf grad here! (The other college in Northfield.) and I visited the cookie house across town a few times! So delightful! Anyone visiting MN- add Northfield to your list of fun places to visit! Hopefully also a great place to grow up!

Writing from the Netherlands but I grew up in Northfield too! Sarah, do we know each other? Anyway, its nice to feel the coziness of the universe (and be reminded of the coziness of Northfield!).

I’m not sure where you are located, but if this peeks your interest now, you should look for a local 4-H program. Search for your local county extension office. They have wonderful cooking and baking projects for kids and trust me, we are always looking for a volunteer and usually the groups are a small group of kiddos

I am currently coaching my son’s soccer. The league is always desperate for coaches, but I really appreciate hearing your reasons why you didn’t coach. I guess there is something for everyone! I am never the arts and crafts mom, so oh well.

I was the play dough parent for my child’s kindergarten class. Every few weeks the play dough parent brings in a new batch of home made play dough for the classroom. I colored and scented mine according to the seasons, using spices or drops of essential oil or vanilla. No one would ever want me to coach a children’s soccer team, but I think I was a good play dough parent. Maybe this is your calling too!

I spent a season trying desperately to avoid coaching soccer case no one was stepping up. I have never played team sports and it’s just not part of my skill set. I used to feel guilty but it’s made me think a lot about what I AM suited for. Need me to write a letter of support for your grant? An article for your newsletter? Organize a spreadsheet? Set up a candy bar? Pack care packages? Hype you up? I’m your gal. But please don’t ask me to coach sports. We all have our strengths. Maybe this is what the cookie house teaches.

As a former kind of intense child athlete I can tell you which cookies I still dream about from a particular mom after games—we always had coaches but we didn’t always have cookies, and those snickerdoodles made my day every time. There’s SO much pressure on parents to do all the things and you know what? Being a good parent does not have to include becoming a soccer coach!

I could never coach my kid at sports. What a disaster that would have been. However, their high school team had the best run concession stand in recent memory. Use your skill set!

Toma, I agree and draw a distinction of baking vs. raw. If I am making lime sugar cookies, which requires 4 tablespoons of lime juice, it is fine to use a good brand of bottled lime juice but when putting lime in a salad dressing, I only use freshly squeezed.

it’s all relative right? everyone has different tastes. I am usually with Ina on the fresh citrus, but open to trying something new. Do you have a brand? Also, I live in San Francisco and I would would hard pressed to make better sourdough at home than I can buy from Jane’s ( just one for the many amazing bakeries we have here)I mean, they grind their own flour! Also, I don’t want to. I am a good baker, but committing to the starter?Meh. My cousin makes her own ( haven’t had it yet) My “uncle” Eric makes his own ( he was a chef for many years, found that he could no longer eat commercial bread) he uses the Tartine method ( another one of our famous bakeries) and it’s amazing)he also makes brioche, croissants and cinnamon rolls. :)

I’ve been using Santa Cruz Organic Lemon Juice, which says it is not from concentrate.

Sorry, I meant Lime Juice

I use the key lime pie brand of bottled juice, both lemon and lime, all the time. I’m not gonna feel bad about it. It’s awesome

Robin, this sounds magnificent…

Garden tour!

love this so much. my garden is also stacked with natives and is messy and beloved by all creatures, including small humans and bees and chipmunks and birds and and and. messy gardens forever!

Love this! Would you mind sharing what Zone you’re in and some of the native plants?

I love that quote, AND ALSO am a little “hmmmmmm” about the show. Perhaps a good thing?

Haha I finished it and was like “Ahh I’ve been telling people for weeks that I like this show!!!”. Not *necessarily* let down but also…. Not NOT? Felt like a bit of a disconnect to me. But you saw it was based on a real essay in the New Yorker? I am still thinking about it, too – it’s an unusual story, the actors were great (Joy Sunday! Wow!) and the cinematography / set design were killer. Love how much it gave me to work with!

This is us as well! We try to do at least one National Park every year (this year is Isle Royale). My kids participate in the Junior Ranger program in each park- any fun ideas on how to display the pins??? We also get our stamps and stickers in our National Parks passport.

Hi Kay! We were just at Redwood National Park last month, I hope that you love Isle Royale. It’s supposed to be beautiful! I haven’t come up with any fun pin display ideas yet, my daughter has hers laid out on her bookshelf. We saw some people who had the pins on hats, which was cute, but I don’t know how comfortable it would be, and I’d worry about it getting lost. I guess you wouldn’t have to wear it though! All three of my kids have the passports too—they are so much fun to flip through and reminisce about each trip.

Kay From Queens: I nannied for a family that loved Disneyland and collected the Disney pins. They had a huge corkboard and stuck all the pins into it. You could do something similar—I wonder if you could find a corkboard with a U.S. map on it, or make one with string, and then place the pins near their national park location? Just spitballin!

Your comment made me smile AND tear up! Thank you so much for sharing <3

Is it because adults are mysterious? Why do they do what they do? Their objects must hold some clues! I agree. To be honest I’d probably still love looking for clues about who someone is by what’s in their bag.

I want to look through other people’s bags! It’s interesting to see what people have in there. Little unique treasures. So I understand why kids would want to!

Same!!!! Killin me!

Yup, me too. A subscription to Big Salad is in no way in my budget, and I’ve asked to be comped, but I guess there are too many of us :) Ah well, I’m thankful for the free reading here. Ya gotta make money and ya gotta protect your privacy. *shrug*

Elle, we give one to anyone who asks! Maybe your email got lost in the shuffle — please email again and we will set you up! Xo

Same here. My medical bills = no subscription extras in life these days. Maybe my doctor can write me a note that I need this info for my health? 🤣

Sammmmmmeeee!!!!

Yup, my little family has gone down to one income, a teacher’s no less.

Ditto!

right? it seems a little unfair to tease that in the general weekend post and then keep it behind a paywall

Thanks for your notes! We offer comped subscriptions every month for anyone who requests one, just email newsletter@cupofjo.com xoxo

I think there is a waitlist for comped subscriptions :) I was told that 50 were given out a month and after that there is a waitlist (if this is helpful for anybody).

If it helps. I buy one month twice a year. Like, literally subscribe, immediately cancel. And then I have a month to read the “back issues”. So maybe this is easier to swing?

Bit of a side note. Maybe a post idea? Just folks sharing struggles…… Many of us have financial struggles, esp right now, esp because of inflation of gas and groceries and housing and daycare…… and esp because of health/ medical costs. Wouldn’t it be reassuring in a way to read about others who are in the same boat? My personal story – just one medical event/catastrophe after another for the last few years have depleted our savings. (At least $7k, every incident, with good insurance). Then in December my husband had a horrible accident and was out of work for 8 weeks. No pay for most of that as he qualified for FMLA but it’s unpaid in our state. I resorted to begging on the internet, for the first time in our lives. Thankfully we have an incredible community and people showed up, but if they hadn’t……. couldn’t……. we couldn’t have paid our mortgage. It’s terrifying honestly. I just want others to know, I SEE YOU.

I like Sasha-In-Montana’s idea about sharing stories of people in diverse income brackets. And yet I also don’t love the framing of gated content as unfair. Everyone has to make a living and Joanna has been more than generous. It’s ok if you choose not to pay for something, but I certainly don’t consider it unfair.

I don’t know how to word this without sounding rude or like I’m trying to argue! Not the intent at all – just curious. I’ve paid for a subscription since Big Salad started. Happy to support and fun to read the more “private” content as well. Joanna mentions that they give free subscriptions to anyone that asks. Do you worry that people will take advantage of this? Feels like it defeats the purpose of paying for a subscription to have access to this content and support your work, if anyone can just get a free one if they simply ask for it.

thank you so much for your support, Anon! Big Salad is reader-supported, so we depend on readers to sign up for paid subscriptions in order to keep it running, and we are so grateful for those who do! the comped subscriptions are really meant for anyone who can’t afford a subscription during this chapter of their lives, as a way to make sure readers don’t feel excluded because of tight budgets — but otherwise we hope people (who are able to) will support the newsletter financially. we are happy to support other newsletters we love, too, so they can all keep getting written, photographed, and produced! xoxo Joanna

Came to comment the same- themes include child sexual assault. It’s very very dark.

Thank you for this. I love a good mystery/ thriller, especially if the writing is skilled, but don’t need a book to freak me out. Real life is enough of a trigger lately. Looking forward to Tana French’s new novel, and Louise Penny’s too (there are always croissants).

Nele, wishing you, your mother, and your whole family peace and ease. I can tell you are all surrounded by so much love. Allow yourself to feel it all – the fear, the relief, whatever comes up for you. I will keep your mom in my prayers.

Holding you in love and light.

Went through this with my husband of 58 years last September…there is absolutely nothing I can say that will help or make it any easier. What I can say is that everything will be okay. You will feel grief and joy. You will feel relief and unutterable pain. You would rather die yourself and you will be so grateful to be alive. I am still grieving but I am fine and that is good.

Nele, I’m so sorry. I can read such heartache in your message. Sending love to you and your family, and hoping that you have or can get the support you need as well, to be able to take care of your mom in these final days.

Holding you and your family in my heart.

Nele, wishing you strength and love and peace in your heart. <3 Libbynan, your comment made me tear up. Sending you so much love too. XOXO

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s amazing that you and your family have such a close relationship with your mom – you are doing the best you can and I can tell the last moments are filled with love. Sending you strength

I’m so sorry. Did this with my own mom as she died of metastatic lung cancer, and I’ll never forget it, the sadness and the terror and the relief and the trauma, too. You will be strong and brave and help her at the end of her life, and her suffering will come to an end. Know you are not alone in this position; you are bringing her peace and an end to her pain.

Nele, when my mom died ten years ago the Cup of Jo community was such a balm. Please know there are a sea of us carrying you in our hearts during this time.

Oh Nele, I’m holding you in my thoughts. Last October, we were by my mom’s side when she died of advanced cancer at 70 years old. Sending you strength and love, and also a reminder that it’s okay to crumble and feel all the things. Be incredibly gentle with yourself for as long as you need.

im with you in spirit as you navigate this last gift to your mom, caring for her as her life ends.

Send you all the love and prayers. Strength and peace and beauty. You’re an amazing daughter. Hoping your dad holds her hand as you let hers go.

All love to you, Nele. And Libbynan, I am going to copy your comment and keep it for the times that are surely ahead of me. xo

I’m so, so sorry, Nele. Sending love from a stranger (but I know what you’re going through)

Sending lots of love, your mom is lucky to have you.

Nele, sending you love and stength and my deepest sympathy to you and your family. 13 years ago, I lost my beloved mother to cancer at age 73. I was relieved that her suffering was over, but also devastated at the loss. All these years later, the pain is no longer acute, but still comes in waves. I miss her everyday, but we (her children and grandchildren) speak of her often, laugh, tell stories. Her memory is a blessing. xx

I am so sorry to read of her illness. Your family sounds like you are all a gift to each other, bound by so much love. Wishing your dear mama a gentle and easy transition, and peace, kindness, and healing to you and your family.

Nele, praying for your mom and for you as you walk through this valley. I did this with my Mom last fall. It is hard and holy work. But also a blessing. May she transition gently from this life.

Nele, Heartfelt hugs to you and prayers for you and your family to handle the grief. No words can make the pain easier. I would give anything to be in your shoes and wish could have said my goodbyes to my mom. She passed away in the most tragic way. She was there 1 day and gone the next when she was only 48 yrs old. The shock, the grief, the guilt of surviving was all too much to handle. I have thought for years if there was ever an easier way of losing a loved one and I don’t think there is. Glad you can be present in her final moments and make it easier for her.

I’m so sorry, Nele. I’ve been there. Sending you strength, love, and visions of your mom and Dad together again at last. XXOO

Praying for peace for you and your family, Nele. You sound like a remarkable family and I’m sorry you’re walking through this valley.

Oh Nele, I’m so very sorry. I hope you have moments of love and clarity and magic with your mom and family, that will stay with you always. I was lucky to get some of those with my dad. I think of those moments every single day. It’s very hard to be with someone as they die. It’s also a gift. Sending you, your mom, your whole family, so much love. I hope all of us taking a spoonful of your sadness will help in some small way.

Amen!

Two Christmases ago, I requested the set of 8 Craft Low Bowls in cream. They’re like pasta bowls and super versatile for big salads or sheet pan dinners with sauce or (natch) pasta. Winner product!

I love their glassware! Whiskey glasses to be exact, if that’s your thing.

We love the Logan Stacking bowls. We actually thrifted them several years ago. They’re still in use every day, and completely chip free. We also have a set of white pasta bowls. Not sure which ones, but they are porcelain, which are very durable. We obviously like what we call “dinner in a bowl”!

When I got married 14 years ago, my mother-in-law encouraged us to register at crate and barrel, so we still have and enjoy using kitchenware purchased there. My FAVORITE are the rosti mepal mixing bowl set with lids. They are so expensive for mixing bowls but I still use them daily! https://www.crateandbarrel.com/rosti-white-pebble-margrethe-bowls-set-of-3/s507607

their flour sack towels are great for dishes, but also handy as quick-dry hand towels in the bath, napkins for a picnic (because chances are you’ll need them for something else….)

Crate and Barrel has the best stemware- I’m partial to the Camille collection and the 15 oz Tour white wine glass. Prices are extremely fair for the quality and have not risen much, if at all, in the past 5 years or so. Fun fact, the Camille red wine glass was sold out for months when Scandal debuted on TV- it was the glass Kerry Washington and her guests always used to sip wine on her couch.

The giant wooden pizza peel. I don’t think it’s even called a pizza peel, something like a serving board. My husband and I registered for it sight unseen thinking of cheese boards and were shocked to receive this enormous round paddle in the mail! But it has to be our most used wedding gift. We make pizza weekly and it’s so beautiful we hang it on the wall in the kitchen, which is super handy.

I love all of my dishes and cocktail glasses from C & B. I’ve had the Aspen dishes for years and they’ve held up really well, as have our assorted cocktail glasses. Oh, I also have a set of mixing bowls! Geez, I need to branch out. Hope you find something fun!

All of my dishes (and flatware) are crate and barrel, and I love them! 10+ years old and have held up great with daily use. I can’t remember the specific line, but they are plain white. The bistro-style bowls are a particular fav.

Anna,I have many items from C&B in my home. Their glassware is great. I have the Hue shallow bowls ( unfortunately they no longer make the pale pink shade I have)for many years, only one has a small chip. I recently bought the white heart salad plates from the Marin dinnerware collection and love them. if you don’t own any dishes or bakeware from Portugal, I highly recommend it. I bakeware is easy to clean and bakes beautifully and the dinnerware is very durable ( is also very affordable). I do not recommend buying upholstered furniture from them. I ordered a lovely olive green performance velvet sofa with matching storage ottoman: nightmare! There is absolutely no quality control at their manufacturers ( which is in the US). Maybe it’s a post pandemic problem as I feel than quality control in all areas has really fallen since then. They had to redo my ottoman three times. It’s still not right, but it’s not that noticeable ( I finally gave up after talking to several of the “designers, in store staff). Needless to say their furniture is not cheap. The good news is, it’s beautiful and comfortable. Have fun shopping!

A CoJ reader recommended the CB2 Marta Optic Fluted line of glassware and they’re my favorite! They have thee most delicate, thin lip and feel luxurious to from.

There is a French steak knife brand or at least one with a French name. Some of the colors are dishwasher safe (we have white). They’ve been a delight and true quality of life upgrade.

I have a stack of the Mercer porcelain low bowls. Love them, would buy again.

If they still stock Marimekko those are some of the loveliest crockery to eat from / drink out of…. In my opinion. These choices are an expression of personal taste (& we are lucky if we get to express ours)

Glassware is what I’ve bought most reliably and it has all held up nicely. I love that they have lots of stackable options for limited space. We’re not fancy stemware folks but I was really pleased with the Nick and Nora glasses I bought with a gift card: https://www.crateandbarrel.com/nick-and-nora-8-oz.-glass/s444582