How to Do Anything
How is your week? Anton and I are visiting our family in England, so we’re pausing the site and will be back this Friday, April 10th. The rest of the team will be working ahead on posts and projects.
Thank you, as always, for being here. This community of smart, funny, thoughtful women (and a few men) is the great joy of my life, and I love hearing your insights on all things, big and small. If you’re in a blog-reading mood, here are a few favorite past posts…
Fashion:
How to style a button-down shirt.
How to dress for an interview.
How to build a capsule wardrobe.
How to look on trend this spring.
How to always have nice underwear.
Beauty:
How to smell good all summer.
How to get glowy skin.
How to find your next makeup hero.
How to look fresh after a flight.
How to remember you’re beautiful.
Home:
How to live in a very small space.
How to decorate a “full” house.
How to paint your house with fun colors.
How to feel at home in a new country.
How to fill your space with surprises and delights.
Culture:
How to find a funny show.
How to embrace sexy book season.
How to build a chill playlist.
How to find a truly good read.
How to dress like an iconic leading lady.
Food:
How to wow a loved one at dinner.
How to make a delicious salad dressing.
How to bake killer bread.
How to cook a really good dinner in five minutes.
How to get kids chatting at the dinner table.
Travel:
How to plan the best vacation.
How to pack for Paris.
How to survive holiday traveling with kids.
How to prepare for a long flight.
How to find a great hotel.
Relationships:
How to ask someone to marry you.
How to write a condolence note.
How to have fun with your friends.
How to level up your career.
How to be kind to yourself.
Parenting:
How to know if you’re ready to have a baby.
How to play with your kids after a longgg day.
How to raise kids around the world.
How to bond with your toddler.
How to talk to teenagers.
Life overall:
How to choose a banger karaoke song.
How to grow a garden.
How to have fun while passing time.
How to have an orgasm.
How to live a whole life.
Thank you so much for reading. Have a wonderful week! xoxo
Comments
30 commentsAnd in other good news to make you feel invited to the fact, that life can also be good – and give you power to fight for it: Our Welch Chapel Dream on Channel4 UK. A gorgeous couple (potter and artist) give an old chapel in Wales new energy and make a community center, pottery and their home out of it. I feel empowered, light and so joyous!
Purchased a pack of underwear this morning after realizing (with all my good ones in the washing machine) I CAN JUST BUY MORE. Thanks for the encouragement!
lol, this is me sometimes. Also, when I realized I can just order my working favorites online instead of trekking to Nordstroms to look for the fantasy “dream” pair I am ever in search of. What a relief.
Good news in light entertainment: TASKMASTER NETHERLANDS just launched. Jipppeeh :)
If anyone is reading the comments this week, here’s a fun thing: The Authors Group Chat Nobody Asked For Ep. 6 https://www.instagram.com/p/DWq6pT_iW5M/?igsh=MWphOGhncThpZDhsYQ==
THANK YOU. That was a gd delight.
I went back to the How to Find a Good Read link and discovered Emily’s post regarding Laura Gilpin’s poem Two-Headed Calf … and now I can’t stop crying.
I’m writing to ask for some energy support. One of my close friends just had a baby girl three weeks ago. They were doing amazing until the baby got late onset GBS over the weekend. Now I don’t know that she’s going to survive. She’s in the ICU. If she does survive there are likely going to be some long term effects. All of our community has been lighting candles every night and sending positive healing energy to them. If any of you can do the same, I would appreciate it. We’re hoping for a miracle. My poor friend is destroyed. I got to deliver supplies to her in the hospital yesterday and we sobbed together. It’s her first baby and she’s always wanted to be a mum. Our babies (I just had my second in January) were supposed to grow up together and be best friends. Please send what loving energy you can towards them. Thank you :)
Maddy, I am sending your friend, her loved ones (including you) and that sweet baby girl of hers so much love and light and the hope that everything turns out better than expected.
She died.
Maddy, I am so very sorry. Prayers for you and your friend and her family at this difficult time.
Oh Maddy. I am so deeply sorry for your friend and for you and all who love that beautiful baby girl. What an awful heartbreak. I am sending love to you and your friend.
Maddy and Mother’s Family, I am so sorry for your loss. Thanks for all you do during this difficult time.
Oh Maddy, this is beyond horrible. I have no words. CoJ team, I know it would be a difficult thing to present, but maybe a post about baby loss? With a focus on what loved ones can do to support? And give space to those grieving to just feel slightly less alone.
Oh Maddy, I’m so sorry to you and your friend and her family… so terrible…
So heartbroken and horrified that our tax dollars continue to be used to bomb innocent people and commit war crimes, also so deeply worried about my in-laws and other friends/relatives in Iran. Please please please consider calling your members of Congress and demanding they reconvene Congress, vote for War Powers Act, and impeach Trump. It really only takes a few minutes (personally I love using 5 calls but you could also just call the switchboard or look up their numbers of course) and is at least one tiny action we can take. Thank you for considering and sending love to everyone and all of your loved ones during these dark days.
Hi, Have a suggestion for a post: How to transition back to Life after a vacation. (responsibilities: school, work, home stuff…) Wonder if anyone else has trouble?
I love this suggestion! I just took a much-needed week-long vacation last week, and I’m really trying to be mindful of how I think about returning to “real life” afterwards. It’s easy to feel so down facing all the responsibilities again.
ugh same here. my best tip is to come back one day earlier than you think should. or even better: take one day off when you’re back and send the kids to school anyway! order your groceries, schedule a massage, cook while listening to an audiobook, make things as easy as possible for yourself.
Hey Joanna & team – have a great break! I wish I could fit in your suitcase and spend some time in England… I have a suggestion for a post, when you get back: crone advise. What kind of advise do crones wish they had heard when they were younger, what do we have to offer? Lately there has been some great discussion here regarding the importance of being involved in our personal finances, which is really important. On another topic, my advice, as an active 65-year-old, is – keep active! If you can sit comfortably cross-legged, do it. If you can stand up from a cross-legged position without using your hands, do it – just once a week, keep the ability. Put socks on while standing on one leg? Do it. Climb hills and stairs? Do it. When we are younger we take these skills for granted, but they can become very challenging as we get older and, once lost, the ablilty can be difficult to regain. Keeping up with these practices – even just once a week – can make such a differnce. So – that is my Crone Advise. I would love to hear what others might have to offer!
ooo…i think catherine newman touched on this topic a couple of years ago! because it’s a good one. https://cupofjo.com/2024/07/16/what-does-menopause-feel-like/
I still have problems with the word ‘crone’. (That goes for ‘cougar’ as well.) “Crone” is applied to women at the same age men are usually considered sexy older men and I am not really onboard at all with that kind of classification and I know the proponants will rail against my protests. But hear me out. I don’t think women should try to own these terms – I think we should ignore them and instead BE the changes we want to see in our selves and in the world around us. We don’t have to adopt a word like ‘crone’ to have our wisdom and power taken seriously by others. We have to simply move away from dolts who don’t appreciate us at any age. I know it is easier for women to adopt a slur and “own” it then to reject an immature idiot but really, we need to embody our radient, brilliant, sexy truths and live up to THAT, instead of taking on their classification word that describes us as sexless, old women. WTF.
To be clear, I am not against aging as a woman. I am just about owning our beauty at any age. What if you are not beautiful? Well, you are! By your 50’s and onward, you should know your value and if you appreciate that about yourself it is evident to all. If you don’t, then it is NEVER too late to begin doing the work you need to do to love yourself. Loving and caring for yourselves well is all anyone needs to do to radiate self-respect.
Wow Eva, this is not the discussion I was hoping for. Maybe Crone is a bad word to you; you see an old bent lady with a wart on her nose. I see an ancient sisterhood of wisdom and love with a desire to share that wisdom to help younger generations of women. It is possible to take ownership of a word and change it’s meanting for good. I don’t care what it says in the dictionary. Whatever. I won’t be back to see any more of this discussion, got a life to live. (So much for trying to help.)
Hi Diana! I hope you do decide to return to this conversation because it is helpful! I personally don’t like the word “Crone”, but I love your idea. And to expand upon it, as an older reader myself (58), I love to keep learning from my similar-aged peers. For example, after reading your post, I decided to implement a regular practice of push-ups (on knees to start with) and getting up and down from floor without using my hands. I really don’t like sports or working out per se, but I do love dance and have been involved with dance classdance class and the teacher is probably in her 70s with most of the studentses almost continuously since my late 30s. Most recently I joined a country line being my age on up. I think the biggest thing that I have to share is that it is never too late to start something new! No matter your age, if you start something today and keep up with it, just imagine how much better you’ll be at in in one year, or five, or ten! As a person who uses dance as exercise. I make good use of free YouTube videos and will spontaneously do a Zumba or bellydance class. I also like Essentrics for gentle elongating movements. I also have a MindBody account through which you can sign up for various in person or online classes. Today I spontaneously signed up for a Gaga class – sort of improvisational movement guided by the instructor. It was so much fun and boosted my mood and energy enormously. I guess my advice is the same as Diana’s – whatever active pursuit makes you happy and/or you can incorporate into your lifestyle – do it! It doesn’t have to be huge – the small stuff counts! Would love to hear what others are doing!
Oops, my reply got somewhat garbled as I was typing, lol. I was trying to say that I have been taking dance lessons since my late 30s and in my line dance class, the instructor is in her 70s. with most students being my age on up.
I’m solo parenting my 3.5 yo and 5yo tonight, and YOU BETTER BELIEVE I’m going to play “What’s On My Butt?” with them. Will report back on length of time consumed/hilarity of the objects they choose.
I printed the salad dressing recipes onto a magnet that hangs out on the side of the refrig where I keep the oil and vinegar bottles. So handy! ♥️ a CupofJ food tip!
Wishing you a lovely time! :)
Coming back for the “how to have an orgasm” post (pun definitely intended) and reflecting on the season of in-between marriage and divorce and singleness and not having a partner and not wanting a partner and finally feeling safe in my body and experiencing the instinct to have sex (for the first time!) and feeling overwhelmed and thankful for it all. I think about accessories sometimes, but I’m also so thankful to enjoy the slowness of my own body. Thanks for this space :)