Have a Sweet Weekend.

the pants sold out! they’re the AYR stratus black pants, and you can find a few on Poshmark: https://go.shopmy.us/p-53970949 good luck! joannaxoxo

Raising my tea mug and hot buttered toast in her honor!

Hahaha! I’m a different Katie, and this sounds hilarious.

Reading the quote I thought, “I also want to be buttered bread.” Delicious. Comforting. Happiness. The kid is going places for sure.

or 2026 in Maine. Our bank still has one and I LOVE it. :)

Louisa, this is precious.

I am still jealous I never worked in a supermarket that used these. I did thoroughly enjoy my time as library monitor in the early 90s, using the pen wand to swipe barcodes to log borrowed & returned books!

My dad always took me to the bank as a kid. He told me that a little mouse carried that cannister back and forth. I would BEG him to let me bring a little piece of cheese to give to the mouse :)

I always associate these with the moment in Tommy Boy(?) when it took of Rob Lowe’s(?) shirt! I’m second guessing my memory on both the movie and whether it was Rob Lowe, as this is a childhood memory, but I know it was one of those canister shwooper things, and that moment has always stuck in my memory, ha!

Mamma, try the football hold. Grab snacks, let her pick a movie and sit together on the couch. Fold her in and see if it helps take the weight of the world off her shoulders for a short time. They are taking on a lot at that age. Maybe she just needs a minute to be a baby again. Knowing that I nap best at my mom’s house, I regularly kidnap my daughter and her kids. I tuck her into my bed and entertain and love on her babies for a while. She gets an actual restful break. I get to make a mess with grandbabies.

ooh that can be so hard. But it means you are Safe. Keep it up, mama, you’re doing a great job.

Sarah, this is so beautiful and true! I also have an 8th grader and will make sure to try the football hold for her and give her space to be babied 🥹❤️

Sarah you are the best grandma I’ve ever heard of. I don’t have this kind of maternal figure in my life (I love my mom and my mother-in-law but this just isn’t them) and I’m tearing up a bit thinking about what this would be like. And how I’ll be able to do this for my daughters someday. Thank you for sharing this tiny little window in :)

Rebecca you are doing an amazing job. You can hear it in the tenderness you hold for her (“8th grade- poor thing!). She’s so lucky to have you!

I, too, am getting the Ali stamps. I was a teenager in the 60s and he was such a hero to my cousins and me. Miss him to this day….

Libbynan – I wasn’t alive in his younger days, but I remember him at the Olympics and have admired him after viewing documentaries about him. What an inspiring man!

You are not being excluded. We are all trying to absorb everything, overwhelmed, and can’t always acknowledge everything, every single time. This is all too much for all of us. I can’t even mention a lot of it because it’s just too much. If you were here, I would give you a hug. Working so hard to figure out what to do to help. If you could include links that would help. Sending love and support if that helps at all (it seems so little)

I too was looking for some acknowledgment of how scary (and lonely) it is to be Jewish right now.

I’m sorry for not linking to a piece about the attack. It was truly horrifying. I appreciated Bess kalb’s newsletter issue about it; that’s what I would have linked to. It was on my mind so much this week and I’ve been talking a lot with friends from Michigan including friends who are still members of the synagogue (the Michigan post I linked to in this link list was actually written by one of them). The town is next to the town where my mom lives, and I actually worked closely with one of the rabbis — Rabbi Jen — at that synagogue who performed my stepfather’s funeral service. She was incredible, we were so grateful to her. and the community is wonderful. I’m so heartbroken for what happened there, it really is a scary time in this world. Sending so much love to Jewish readers. Xoxo

Thank you Joanna for the kind acknowledgment and response to my comment.

honestly, and I say this as a Jewish American, but whenever I see comments like this, I think about how the person writing it would feel or think of someone of another faith consistently complained about being excluded when it is clear that it is not personal and the intent is not to make invisible. I am assuming you are as horrified that not one, but two explosive devices were found by Mayor Mamdani’s mayoral residence, and the House Rep who said Muslims should be removed en masse from the country, and on and on on. Like, of ALL the places, Cup of Jo is working to inclusively cover all the heartbreak of life and this is just too much, and it happens, too often. Assume positive intent rather than some cosmic snubbing, my god.

Karen- what a painfully insensitive, dismissive, self-righteous comment. It just really felt so unnecessary. I felt a genuine gut punch reading it this morning. Assume some compassion, my god.

Thank you for this. I am Jewish, from the town in Michigan where this vicious attack occurred. A terrorist attempted to kill Jewish toddlers. There is such little conversation about this in the media and it feels lonely, scary, and isolating to be Jewish in the world today. The increasing amount of anti-semitism is so dangerous and advocacy on public platforms like this is a really helpful start to protecting the Jewish people, we make up .2% of the population and are the victims of 69% of all reported religion-based hate crimes.

I am heartbroken about what happened in Michigan but I am done with assuming bad faith about good places like this one. You assumed bad faith with a broken heart, I get it. But look around, cup of Jo is a place that is trying their best. I’m sorry if you did not like my comment, but again, I am done assuming the worst about a good place, and suggest you do the same.

I’m sure you could have conveyed that point in a less unkind, condescending way. I too cherish this wonderful community, and Jo’s response to my comment was sincere and heartfelt and made me and I’m sure others feel validated and seen. Be well.

There is a new, fresh horror every single day and I don’t expect Jo or anyone to be able to name them all, but you are not forgotten and your experience is important to us and I am speaking to you, Anon, and to every single one of us in the CoJ universe <3

love this! How special

I hear you! The surprising thing to me was that he was a cookbook author and the rest of his recipes were carefully homemade (he was doing testing) and so thought out etc — so I loved the contrast. Anton had Doritos last night at home but I loved seeing them at a “fancy” dinner as well, I hope that makes sense! I get how it could come off differently and I’m sorry.

What a take. Like you’re walking around all day finding reasons to be offended. How exhausting.

Thanks for your response! I understand that it was unique given the situation, but again, this wasn’t the first instance, which is why I commented. I appreciate you & the community you’ve built here. Thanks for your thoughtfulness and engagement.

Thanks, Ashley. Im going to think about your comment. And I do talk a lot about chips, I admit :) https://cupofjo.com/2023/03/22/ruffles-french-onion-dip/ https://cupofjo.com/2021/03/31/julia-turshen-recipe-fish-cakes/ https://cupofjo.com/2025/08/19/five-pick-me-ups-4/ https://cupofjo.com/2022/10/05/dinner-party-starters/ https://cupofjo.com/2023/09/06/four-fun-things-10/

“And I do talk a lot about chips, I admit.” hahahahaha. This is such a humorous conversation to read over at the office on a weekend.

Ashley, I think this point is very well taken. Roxie, why do you think this kind of perspective reflects a desire to be offended all the time? I thought Ashley’s point was thoughtful. Maybe you haven’t been in circumstances where your class background was taken as a source of costuming or play or “tourism” by your peers? Not everyone has, but it does happen…the classic example when I was in college was all of the wealthy hipsters at my Ivy League university who would only drink PBR. Here’s an interesting think piece about that cultural phenomenon: https://vinepair.com/articles/hop-take-pbr-phenomenon-will-never-return/ . This stuff can be really harmless, but when it veers into exoticization, it can be painful and humilitating. It’s not bad to be self-aware about how these things can emerge in our own practices of hosting or play or costume or entertainment. The goal isn’t to be constantly offended; it’s to develop ever-increasing situational awareness, in order to develop ever-increasing situational empathy. And why not?

Joanna, lol! I *think* about chips a lot, so same? Roxie, I wasn’t offended! But how we talk about food matters! We have myriad cultural divides, and unfortunately, food is one of them. Think about how the McDonald’s CEO was derided for how he ate a burger … or how Trump is made fun of for how he eats his steak. I’m not advocating for one take over another (if I’m going to deride Trump, it would be for war crimes and ICE tactics and bigotry and all the other horrific things), but these takes aren’t only about food, they are about the cultural trappings around them too, and it’s important to be aware of them, especially when you have a platform. Joanna is of course absolutely welcome to present her platform any way she wants, but part of what she has fostered here is a forum for voicing diverse opinions. I voiced mine! Have a great rest of your weekend.

Ashley, your thought wouldn’t have crossed my mind but I really appreciate it and am really enjoying just thinking about class / food in general at this moment. I read it as criticism maybe in the best way, like a looking deeper rather than a “egh change this” comment. Opinions and expectations about food obviously does show a lot about class, and it’s nice to “bend our ears” to how something can feel to a different reader, as Tracy k smith (a poet) has remarked on. Also I say all this having realized there are certain people (that I love and am close to) who can’t help but act a kind of way when I mention regular familiarity cooking with canned chicken, canned vegetables, instant potatoes, whatever. Sometimes we don’t realize how or what we reveal about ourselves, and I like the chances to have a mirror held up. Even if your criticism wasn’t precisely on point with what Joanna intended, it’s an interesting thing.

I get it Ashley. I don’t think Jo looks down on chips but i sure used to! I suffered from orthorexia for decades. My daughter, home for a visit, just remarked this morning “you guys eat CEREAL now?!?!” Laughing. Yep!! Husband needs the extra calories after an illness. And I no longer have orthorexia, so good is just food. But what’s relevant here is that with wellness and orthorexia, classism is 100% a thing. If it was cheap and processed it was bad, and I deeply believed that. I appreciate the call in, if only to highlight that. There’s more orthorexia out there than ever with MAHA etc. Again, I don’t think that’s what’s happening with Jo in particular, and I appreciate the critical thinking.

That’s an interesting way to think about chips! I received this differently ~ as a universal comfort. As in…who doesn’t know and love Doritos?! That, to me, is the delight ~ not that they are foreign or exotic!

I put out Zapp’s Voodoo chips.

Ashley, thanks for pointing out the social class aspect. I hadn’t seen that and I appreciate you bringing it up. The comment also jumped out at me but for a different reason. Doritos are carefully “engineered” with things like monosodium glutamate (MSG), sugar and glucose syrup to enhance cravings. So to me ‘everyone freaking loving them’ over Casey’s carefully “prepared” dishes seems like a good example of the heavy hand of food companies like PepsiCo (Food Fix Uncensored by Hark Hyman, MD).

I keep thinking about these comments — the discussion is so smart, thoughtful, and nuanced. I think what I was trying to get at — clumsily! — was the high/low vibe of the night which was really fun. He was a cookbook author and still chose to serve Doritos bc he knew everyone would enjoy them. It felt like if you were at a wedding and they brought out chipwiches or popsicles for dessert. So good and fun but also surprising bc of the sort of fanciness of the event! Hope that makes sense :) keep the comments coming!

I like chips. But sometimes the salt will make my fingers swell up and then my rings fit more tightly.

Sometimes a Dorito is just a Dorito, and that is okay.

Ok, so overall, we need a post on chips that’s a love song. I will say, we had a political leader in Australia eat a sausage sandwich at a voting event in COMPLETELY the wrong with (from the middle outwards, not end to end), and it united the whole country in horrified banter.

Ashley, thank you for bringing this up! I actually reacted to that line too, and had a brief thought of like “wait, is my family the only one who still eats Doritos!?” And then I pictured a bunch of cartoonishly fancy New Yorkers completely delighted with how exotic doritos are. I appreciate Jo’s response, and the rest of the dialog here too.

Ashley I have had the same reaction, both here and in the past. Like not mortally offended by any means, but I’ve noticed this too. SO much is simply amazing about CoJ that it seems silly to point it out, but I do think you’re on to something.

I mean, “cheap and processed” IS BAD and that’s what shouldn’t be denied or tried to be made to seem “normal”… It’s sad that these highly processed-to-be-addictive-by-hired-food-scientists chips are considered party fare but do not be fooled – they are not something ANYONE should be buying so when someone who knows good food puts them out and guests are delighted, it only shows how uninformed they are about what they are eating. DO NOT eat these, people. Read: Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us and change your ways. Unless you don’t care about taking care of your health and being responsible for your body, then do what you want. But don’t try to normalize toxic crap and cry poverty. The poor are the target demographic for engineered foods like this because they do not inform themselves. (And I grew up in a poor, abusive household, going to terrible public schools, yet, I did learn to read and used that skill to educate myself, so, it’s not a matter of privilege.)

I’ve noticed this on COJ, too! Especially when you talk about your friends and family, Joanna. I remember one year the gift guide for moms included a wax seal set for sending letters in the mail and other fancy things, and the post was basically like “ALL MOMS LOVE THIS STUFF.” I wanted to comment, maybe rich, white moms, but if I gave my Mexican, middle-class mom a wax seal kit, she would be like what? Why? What is this? Obviously, everyone has a point of view shaped by our class, race, gender, ability, and other socially-significant intersections, and it would be impossible for Joanna to represent everyone (plus, it’s interesting to read about your fancy life hobnobbing with cookbook authors!), but it would be cool to recognize your perspective as a perspective rather than the norm. It would be even more wonderful if COJ’s editors and contributors were more diverse. I can already imagine the comments saying how COJ is so much better than other blogs, but the bar is pretty low, you guys, and I think COJ and Big Salad can handle my gentle criticism. I read this blog pretty much every day, and it does so many things well. I wouldn’t critique it if I didn’t think it was worthwhile.

thank you so much, smoothliminal and the other commenters in this thread. I really appreciate reading all of these, and I am always listening and learning. I have learned SO MUCH from this community over the past 19 (!) years, and Cup of Jo is so much better than it ever would have been because of everyone holding us to such a high standard and sharing their perspectives and feedback so clearly and consistently. I really, really appreciate it. that’s all :) thank you again. xoxo

Even the fact that Doritos are considered lowbrow is telling. In this moment of widening inequality, I’m sure lots of people consider name-brand chips a luxury. It’s a hard thing to consider but worth considering, imo

Thank you for listening and giving us space to share our thoughts! Unrelated/extremely related: did you end up making the Spanish tortilla with salt-and-vinegar chips? I cannot imagine what that tastes like, and I’m so curious!

I’m not quite as petite as you (5’2” and x amount of lbs bigger 😂) but Levi’s wide leg shaping jeans in the shortest inseam are the most flattering jeans I’ve ever owned, especially on my tush.

im 5’2 and 105lbs. Paige denim always fit me super well. if you want something less expensive and longer lasting, Levis wedgie cut in any of their fits are always good for me. if you want great trousers, Big Bud Press has a huge range of sizes (im petite 0) and their work pants an d work shorts are the best ever.

I’m a smidge shorter and heavier than you (4’11”, 109-111lbs), but the most wow-those-fit-you-amazing compliments I think I’ve ever gotten have been for this pair. The size 1 required no tailoring on me. I like the odds that a 0 would work on you. I was astounded at what they did for my butt, ha. These aren’t the right size range, but to give you an idea… https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/4365978814/vintage-2002-gap-flare-jeans-cotton?gpla=1&gao=1&amp;

I’m 5’1” and 120lbs, but I like my petite perfect vintage madewell jeans! I have two pairs in the same size (26P) that I bought secondhand (thredup a few years ago) and one fits perfectly, the other is a bit big.

Hi! I’m 5′ and 105 pounds and I LOVE the Madewell Stretch Crop Flare Jeans. Crop is a misnomer as they’re full length on me. They fit like a dream. Good luck!

Hi! You should check out Extra Petite. It seems she’s mostly on Instagram these days instead of blog, but it’s the most up-to-date info for petite ladies.

Madewell! I’m 4’9, 105 lbs, and the 25p stovepipe cut fit PERFECTLY. I also have a pair of 26p when I am hormonal and need a comfier fit.

Love this question! 4’11” and 109-111lb woman here. If we’re talking black pants specifically, I thrifted a pair from the Quebec shop Bertrand Marois that make me feel like a million bucks. I think this pair was from the late 80s or early 90s, but he’s still at it! They’re high waisted and lightly pleated and made of the loveliest natural fiber that I don’t see listed. Most of the other pants I wear lately are quite different. I love a mid or not-too-low low rise. (And I don’t worry about my lack of abs.) I love finding Old Navy pants from the early 2000s – the quality was really nice. If you can find a pair of Golden Horse flares from the 70s, every example I’ve seen has been petite friendly! Finally, they’re not 100% consistent, but the Gap has been good to me throughout my life. I don’t have much in the way of hips or bum, and they’ve always helped me work with what I’ve got. Good luck with your search.

5’2” 140-150 lb, weightlifting/small waist/bigger butt and thighs person here – the pants question is a real challenge. My current favorite black pants are J Crew Petite Camp Pocket wide legs and Levis ’94 Baggy black jeans, 29” length. The J Crew pants fit my booty and have a relatively small waist gapping issue. The petite length and wide leg feels good for wearing with sneakers, sandals, and flats. Love the pockets, the fabric holds it shape, and the pants feel like they fit into a variety of outfits from work-formal to date-y. The jeans are of course more casual. They’re no-stretch and feel sturdy; the length is either a little long (pleasantly pooling at the cuff) or perfect for rolling up, and again the shape works for my curvier shape (caveat: I sized up). I put both of these on all the time.

I love Anthro’s Colette pants by Maeve in magic fabric. I have a pair in full length petite and a pair in regular crop (which are like full length on me) and I love them! So comfy and flattering. They’re not too wide and I think they make my butt look good!

Twin in shoes! My teen was moved to compliment me on my new Frame jeans today. I purchased them at a 50% off sale, and they’re bootleg cut, which is a real throwback for me. Also went with a lighter wash for Spring, when / if Spring ever arrives.

I got these a couple years ago based on a rec here, and I love them! More fitted up top with a flare, and cropped with stretch – I find them very comfortable and I like how they look on my short “athletic”legs. They’re on sale now, it looks like: https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=826943002&vid=3&autosuggest=true&searchText=crop%20flare%20ev&position=1&results=6#pdp-page-content

This is such an amazing idea to break the ice! Because who isn’t curious to see their next door homes/apartments?! 😊

Martha, thanks for the memories. My mom always swore by hot-and-sour soup for cold relief. Back in the 60s when my dad was stationed on Guam, we had a Philipino neighbor who always showed up with a jar of homemade soup whenever anyone had a cold. Her fabulous hot-and-sour made a believer out of my mother.

hugs, Debbie.

Sending love Debbie, I can only imagine how heavy this is for you.

Hi Debbie, just wanted to say hello from another Iranian-American in the COJ comments <3. My dad fled to the US alone at 16 due to the revolution and I was lucky enough to grow up visiting my Iranian family in Tehran often. We still have relatives in Iran, most of whom are in the part of Tehran that’s been heavily bombed. It’s so scary and I feel so hopeless. Whenever my uncle is able to check in and let us know his family is alright, he asks about the baby growing in my belly with excitement and hope. She’s the one thing my entire family in the diaspora and in Iran all have to look forward to in the near future and I’m grateful for that. I hope this stupid war is over soon. This approach to regime change has never worked for the freedom of the people, and so many lives are at risk because of greed and lack of leadership.

Oh, Debbie. I feel so much love for you and yours right now. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Hey Debbie, I can deeply relate to the feeling of all parts of your identity being at war with each other. It’s incredibly painful, and at least for me, is a pain that can feel very isolating. Big hug. I hate all of this so much.

Nothing good comes of war. Wishing you so much kindness and love, the warmth and support of community, and peace everywhere, everywhere, everywhere.

Iranian-American and sending you love & hugs. What a time to be a Jew. If I’ve got big, complicated feelings, I can’t imagine what you’re going through.

Amy, Kim, Naseem joon, Josephine, Mia, Nobody you know, and Sheila joon – I am moved to tears by your kind words and support. Thank you for reaching across the internet to share your kindness with me. It is so appreciated and treasured. Sending each of you a warm hug back. Wishing for peace for all <3

Hugs Debbie. We have a friend from Iran. He can never go home, and is not a US citizen. He has an Iranian name, very strong accent, looks epically beautifully Iranian. I worry for him and feel heartbroken for him 24/7. I worry even more for his hundreds of beloved friends and family back home. I feel just sick we are all living through this dystopia. May peace prevail. Somehow.

I think it’s time for COJ bring back the reader comment key chains.. If I could be reminded daily that “when I grow up, I want to be buttered bread,” life would just be better! This comment is (Kerry)GOLD!

Haha! Thanks, Karen!

SAMEE!!!! I had to do a double take it looks SO good. As someone who has never dyed my hair, it made me think… what if I looked THAT good with some other color!

Omg I love this so much!!!

I read through a week of cupofjo Saturday & Sunday mornings with my cup of Joe in hand and toddler playing at my feet, before the hubby is up 🤭

I do the same! Went out last night so I saved it for this morning. Savoring it with my cup of coffee. Look forward to it every week

Justice for bowls!!! It is a nice way to eat food!

You need to lighten up. Unclench your whole uptight body, it’s gonna be ok! Burrito bowls, and I say this as a Yaqui Mexican, are delicious. My 3 year old students aren’t as rigid as you lol.

Annie, I follow a TikTok dad who always reminds us to “unclench our jaws” and I want to very kindly suggest you unclench your fists. It’s Friday after all, and you can go bowl free into the weekend. Another Annie, I’m with you though!

Justice for bowls indeed! Delicious and easy. Being a human in the world is hard, let’s let people eat in ways that bring them comfort.

Oh how sad! Bowls are my favorite way to eat ANYTHING!

Bowls are amazing, especially if you have a family. I put the bowl ingredients on the table with a yummy sauce and everyone can pick out what they like. I love bowls. They make my life on weeknights a lot easier. A protein, some filler (rice, quinoa etc.), veggies, fruit, a yummy sauce and whatever else is in my pantry (nuts, fried jalapenos from TJs yum), et voila, dinner is served!

One perk of bowl versions of food is that you can choose your own adventure. I cook for my family of 6 every night and we regularly have guests for dinner. Lots of kids and dietary restrictions and pickiness. Bowls are my saving grace. I can put out all the different options (and it’s amazing how many condiments/toppings are cuisine-versatile!), insist my kids eat at least two bites of protein and fiber, and everyone can build a bowl that is more or less to their liking.

I’m also sick of bowls! I think I overdid “bowls” for a long time with my work lunches.

Annie, I’d hold hands with you in agreement but my fists are also clenched at the word “bowls”. I think it’s the mixed nature of them that makes me think “Yuck”. And of course my daughter LOVES bowls and calls all casseroles “goo” so go figure.

Hate for bowls? Oof. I hadn’t really ever thought deeply about “bowls” as a thing, but I’m now realizing I turn most things into a bowl because my hands don’t work right. I have Ehlers Danlos, and my thumbs kind of, dangle? Sorry, it grosses me out too. My ligaments are torn all the way through in my thumbs, on top of having dysplasia in all of my hand/ finger joints, so nothing fits properly. The result is pain and dysfunction. By dinner time, after a whole day of working using them, my hands are weak and tired, and holding anything Burrito or burger or sandwich like hurts, hence bowls. There is a pretty successful surgical fix (2 surgeries per hand), but the recovery is super long without being able to use my hands, and I can’t afford the time off work, because… America. Anyways, bowls. I love my bowls. If you can hold a burrito, I’m happy for you.

You are a costume queen! So many great ones!

Cuuuuute!