Adult Diapers, a Love Story

This story literally made me cry. This is love.

This is one of the most beautiful love stories I’ve ever read. Truly. This is the definition of love. Seeing what your partner needs, even when it’s strange and difficult, and fulfilling that need without being asked. I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Bravo Jack!!! And keep up the incredible work Hallie ! I hope you’re feeling better

I’ve used Hinge Health to help with my pelvic floor for about a year and loved it. It’s a physical therapy app through Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance that’s free through my employer. If you already have BCBS you might already have access to Hinge Health so you can use it before or during other medical care you might need for this. I have been able to improve my own symptoms at home; it’s been great!

I’ve had 4 babies in 8 years and recently had a cough that had me peeing my pants. Thanks to this community, I’m going to talk to my doctor about it at my appointment next month!

In awe of both the post and the many comments. Joanna, I’m sure this is a really annoying question/suggestion, but any chance we can have a ‘like’ or ‘love’ reaction button? So many amazing comments that I want to show love to, but not with a comment necessarily. I know something that sounds simple is probably complicated/expensive, but wanted to throw it out there. Thanks as ever for this space <3

Thank you for this. I’m a mom of three–no twins–and this became a thing for me immediately after the birth of no. 3. Thank you for seeing those of us who have dealt with it, and sharing this love story.

This made me weepy ❤️ oh to be loved like this.

This reminds me of when I was just post c-section and did my first poop and my incision was so tender that I couldn’t twist to wipe my butt and I had to ask my husband. He (who is usually Mr comedy) came in and with such matter of fact gentleness and with only the words “yep I got you” wiped my poopy butt clean, pulled up my mesh underwear and walked me back to bed. 10 years later he’s still got me.

Hallie, can we be friends? ❤️ While not native, Dayton is my adopted home!

I’ve never have kids and had NO idea . . . Wow! But I get cough-variant asthma, triggered by post-nasal drip, when I have the flu or a bad cold, and I cough so hard and uncontrollably that I can barely use the albuterol inhaler I keep strictly for those times. It usually happens when I’m asleep, so all hell breaks loose in the dark as I scramble for the inhaler. If you’re waking up coughing so hard that you are fighting to breathe, and this is a pattern for you, it could be asthma, triggered by post-nasal drip and irritation. An inhaler can help, even if you never need one the rest of the time. You know the drill: “Talk to your doctor.” We got the new Flu A on Christmas this year, and I’d wake up coughing so hard that I couldn’t use the inhaler correctly. That was scary. A doctor friend recommended a prescription nasal spray, Ipatroprium. It stopped the post-nasal drip, which stopped the asthma. Once again, “TTYD.” My PCP was a bit reluctant, since it’s an off-label use, but my friend knew first-hand that it works. There are other medications that help, too, so don’t suffer needlessly!

This hits home. There was a period of time when I suffered from severe IBS. While hiking at park on vacation, I couldn’t make it and soiled myself. My husband wrapped his coat around my waist, held my hand walking back the two miles, made sure the coast was clear when returning to our hosts’ home, then cleaned my soiled clothing and shoes while I showered, repeatedly reminding me it’s a medical issue and nothing to be ashamed of. All as if it was nothing. It’s really those moments of inconvenience and potential embarrassment where love shines the brightest.

An absolute love story. It’s those thoughtful things that really make a marriage!

As much as I appreciate the sentiment but ladies, please, incontinence is not something to just bear and accept. Please see your ob-gyn, please get help from a specialized physiotherapist. They exist and they can help you reverse a prolapse, severe incontinence, even years after the fact. The notion that “this is the way it is and has always been” is a lie purported by a male-centric view of medicine. https://womensagenda.com.au/latest/birth-injuries-are-a-feminist-issue-an-obstetrician-explains-why/

Oh this is SO timely! I have had a cold and accompanying cough for almost two weeks and if I’m not positioned right (usually upright so o can immediately cross my legs) I pee a little with every dang cough, so much so that I have just taken to wearing pads in my underwear and chafing them out so I don’t smell like pee all the livelong day…and so have been feeling both very sorry for myself and also very pragmatically determined to keep a stash of adult diapers on hand, because really, they rock. My one pregnancy was three years ago now and my lifelong wimpy bladder mostly returned to its usual wimpy state but this coughing bout has made me think I do need to seek out some pelvic floor PT, which was offered to me postpartum but I was too overwhelmed to take it on along with everything else. Oh, and having a kid also brings the joys of tummy bugs, and that puking sends things shooting out of every possible body cannon, so again- adult diapers trumps redecorating the bathroom like a puke/pee/pooping Picasso.

Laying in bed for the 4th day un a row feeling so despondent over my recent debilitating recurrence of fissures and hemorrhoids, which I’ve had surgery for in the past (I do not recommend), and wondering if I needed to buy adult diapers again. This comic and this thread feels so kind and warm and normalizing for me. I’m so sorry this is so resonant for so many of us in so many ways, and I’m also so grateful for your sharing. Hoping for healing and ongoing support for each and all of us.

❤️❤️❤️ PSA that if you have urinary issues, seeing a GYN or specialized urogynecologist might be really helpful! Options from PT to meds to surgeries big and smallish.

Oh my heart. What a beautiful story. And not to be weird, but I also live in Cincinnati and now want to be friends with Hallie.

I love Hallie’s story, and all of the comments too. Love is not a bunch of flowers, love is all of the above (and below as more comments roll in)

Reminds me of this card… ☺�?format=pjpg&v=1728495452&width=1100

I am 34 weeks pregnant, and have had a cough for the past several days accompanied by incontinence. It is so uncomfortable and demoralizing! Thank you for this beautiful story, I really needed it.

Fellow twin mom here. Now THAT is romance!

If there was ever a time to share this act of love, I guess this is the time. After my fourth baby was born, I was afraid of the infamous first bowel movement, and it didn’t come for two days, and when it did it was so painful and I cried on the toilet and it wouldn’t come and I felt like I was in labor again. Reader, enter the husband, who manually disimpacted me while I cried in anguish. Reader, he had to do it again two days later. It still brings tears to me eyes.

My dad is in his late 70s, diabetic and has been having bathroom dilemmas. My husband, the other day, drove over to my parent’s house to pick up my dad for a doctor’s appointment. Before they pulled off, my dad had an accident and soiled himself. Needless to say, my dad was very embarrassed. He later told me my husband gently brought him back into the house, found clean clothes for him, soaked the dirty clothes and threw it in the laundry, while waiting for my dad to clean himself up, then drove off to the doctor as if nothing happened. I couldn’t love my husband more and for me, this was truly an act of love.

what is parenting, if not crawling around on the floor looking for an invisible pill that will kill your child, coughing so hard you pee yourself? (so happy to see Hallie here, I love following her parenting art, and was so so moved by her recent essay about healing from an eating disorder. Link here, if you’d like to read: https://substack.com/@halliebateman/p-184991736)

Hallie, your story – and the comments to follow – provided me the swoon I didn’t know I needed today. (Definitely not too early for Valentine’s content, come to think of it.) Too, too romantic. After more than 10 years with my partner, we still haven’t needed each other’s help with toileting/hygiene, but I’m sure it comes for everyone eventually. If we’re lucky, it will look like some of the beautiful relationships here.

This is so beautiful! After knee surgery I was constipated like crazy-6 days without a poop, stupid Percosets. That night it finally started to happen-it was so uncomfortable that I got naked except for my knee brace, I was so hot and it was so painful. FINALLY I was able to exorcise my demons, so much to the point that the toilet clogged and overflowed. I had to wake up my husband while sobbing, naked and tell him that I needed him to clean the bathroom floor. He got me fresh jammies, helped me into bed, and mopped that floor at 2:00am. The next morning I was embarrassed and he asked me, to make me laugh, just how much I pooped. “Babe…I shit out a baby bear.” We still quote that to each other.

This post just reminded me – a few days after I got home from the hospital, post–C-section, when I accidentally pooped my pants without realizing it. I still wasn’t able to dress or undress myself after surgery, so I had to call for my husband to come help me. He’s quite a germaphobe and squirmy about mess, so this was no small ask. He showed up with such tenderness—helped me undress, get into the shower, cleaning up the aftermath and never said a word about it. It was such a sweet, intimate time—the kind you’re never quite prepared for before marriage and children, but now makes you swoon. I’ll treasure that vulnerability in my mind – of my sweetheart standing patiently before me, helping me into my giant, hospital-issued mesh underwear and padding, then gently returning me to bed – forever.

My husband of almost 20 years had to help me take out a stuck Diva Cup once. He approached the task with the utmost care and concern, and succeeded in the mission. Despite the region, there was not sexy about this task! This is love and what having a kind, respectful partner means. But we can totally look back and laugh now!

ALLLLL that to say – thank you for writing about prolapse, thank you for writing a comic that includes prolapse, thank you for using that specific word. I desperately need to see this normalized.

This one detail (of so many!) really got me: “…my pelvic floor prolapsed a few days ago.” MINE TOO except it was actually a few months at this point, but it happened completely out of the blue – I’m under 40, 7 years post-final delivery, never any peeing issues/leaking, lifetime strength training, no coughing. It has not “resolved” and has been really hard for me to deal with, mentally/emotionally. I’m seeing all the right providers (and love them) and am working on it (“it” being strengthening my pelvic floor, *and* accepting the apparent normality of this), but damn if it hasn’t occupied 75% of my daily thoughts since it happened. What women go through in this life is WILD.

THIS is what real love and romance is about: Doing something you needed but were too embarassed to ask. Without you asking, your partner took it upon themselves to get you something you truly needed for your comfort. I like stuff. Who doesn’t like flowers, candy, a nice dinner out and other “stuff.” Nothing wrong with that. But it’s how you and your partner interact on a daily basis that really shows they care. Gifting one day a year isn’t a sign of love and caring if your partner is thoughtless the rest of the year. Loved you sharing this story. Reminds me of how one friend’s husband took off (no pay) to stay home to help his wife for six weeks after she gave birth. And this was in the 1980s and not something guys generally did (It’s women’s work…still, to this day, to many men.) Not only did it help his wife, but he bonded very early with his son in those six weeks and it continued. Today, the adult son and he remain extremely close (he was a dad who was present for his son, he said, because he knew what it was like to not have a dad who was around).

Love this! My husband is not especially ‘romantic’ and is a pretty ‘traditional’ man in many ways, but freshly postpartum he did so many little things. He would always have washed and dried a seemingly endless supply of my cloth nipple pads ready for me (“they’re warm, I just ran them through the dryer ok”), would buy me fresh fruit and cut it up for me, wordlessly and thoroughly cleaned the carpet where I shit myself lol, straight after coming in from a factory nightshift! Love him 💙

This reminded me of an incident in my life. Some years ago my mother had colon cancer. Before she was diagnosed and had her surgery, she had spurts of uncontrolled bowel movements. After one such episode in my house, she was really low about it. I cleaned up after her and put her to bed and just cuddled up next to her. My sister suggested I buy her adult diapers. I did, but just left them in her room. For the life of me, I could not bring myself to ask Mum to use diapers or hand them over directly to her. Those diapers sat there for the rest of my mum’s stay, waiting to be used if things got that bad again. Fast forward a couple of years, my mum had her surgery and is fine now. I think we still have the diapers somewhere, a lurking reminder that no matter how bad life seems sometimes, little things do help make it better. Not a romantic love story, but a story of love.

Bedpan, a Love Story I suffer from severe episodes of violent vertigo where walking is impossible. A recent one started very early in the morning, before I had a chance to get up to pee. My husband said “I’ll be right back” and soon came home with 2 bedpan options. I also told him how romantic I found it 💕

Thanks for sharing this sweet love story and your illustrations with us Hallie! Proof that love can show up in so many ways and forms for us when we need it the most. Hope you are feeling better soon!

I took too many stool softeners postpartum after experiencing painful constipation and then literally pooped my pants. My husband was working on a different floor and I had our newborn and toddler with me. We have both since screen shotted my “SOS I SHIT MY PANTS!” text 😂 I also peed my pants many times while pregnant, every time I vomited. It happens!

Hallie and her husband are incredible – her openness to share, and his truest gesture of love. This article is also eye opening as to how common unintended peeing is, this is not talked about enough, and one shouldn’t have to keep suffering in silence. I hope this helps some. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/dec/30/peeing-after-childbirth-incontinence-sui-solution

I love that your husband did this for you. But I also love that you wrote/drew this for us. It’s such a beautiful way to open up the conversation about this topic / these kinds of issues (fairly common, yet rarely discussed openly). Turning adult diapers into a romantic story. You are incredible.

I love Hallie Bates!! So glad to see her here!

In case anyone needs another excuse to watch Bluey, go watch the episode “Romance” (it might be called “Smoochy Kiss”) – same vibe as this story.

After I had my first child, I found myself logging for a pair of sweatpants and I kept borrowing my husband’s because I couldn’t bear to wear leggings, which were all I really had. The next day he came back with all my requested postpartum supplies and a big pair of soft, comfy sweatpants. He said, “I thought you might want these?” In the sweetest way. This comic brought me back 💜

I also have this bronchitis! And because I’m currently 38w pregnant, my pelvic floor is not hanging in there. I opened up the depends I bought for postpartum and am almost out. May we all get better soon.

Big thoughtful hugs. Cherished.

Had to have an emergency hysterectomy a few years back, but I kept my heavy flow days period undies for those times I have the incessant cough that makes me “pip”. Best decision ever! Don’t get rid of them when you hit menopause, ladies!

I’m 9 months postpartum from my singleton and finally starting to feel like my pelvic floor is working again (and I went to pelvic floor PT!). I cannot imagine the recovery after multiples. Women’s bodies are incredible

I’m feeling this kind of romance… I have a concussion history and recently went night skating with my boyfriend. While wearing an adult helmet (which he insisted I wear for safety), he held my hand, helped me practice my skating, took photos of me, and kissed me under the stars. He’s a keeper I think …

ok, I have a story that I have been treasuring for a few days now, trying to think of the right person to tell it because it’s so romantic and special, and….. of course this is the place!! a few days ago I was feeling depressed (combination of period/perimenopause/dying mother/money worries/what else have you got) and I shared it with my husband. we’ve had issues in the past, and me sharing my difficult feelings is one of them. this is what he said: “I know I’m not always the softest landing pad, but I’m yours, and I will always try my best to be there for you” READER, I would marry him again and again and again.

This makes me teary in the best possible way. Some men are so amazing. Six years ago we had a stillbirth. Not completely unexpected but soul crushing. It was my first pregnancy so the birth was a shock but the after was more shocking. We got home and I had no supplies. I don’t wear underwear and don’t use pads. My saint of a husband told me he would be right back that he was going to take care of it. He went to the store and literally filled it with adult diapers, granny panties (the soft kind he assured me) and super pads. Literally a car trunk of supplies. I didn’t think I could love a human anymore. ❤️

Coughs so bad, it makes you pee a little are the worst. What a great hubby.

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL AND YES, ALL CAPS NEEDED BECAUSE THIS IS THE KIND OF TRUE LOVE WE NEED SHARED WITH THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. Bless you, Hallie for sharing your love, art, and story. Also, bless your husband for being the kind of man this lesbian dreams of for all y’all hetero gals out there. You deserve THIS kind of love, too! May you find healing from the coughs soon; it really is so terrible to cough, cough, cough the days and nights away.

it’s the little big things :) you are both so lucky to have each other.

I love this!! Such a loving gesture!!

“工 GOT THE FANCIEST ONES THEY HAD, WITH THE COOLEST LOOKING LADY ON THE PACKAGE.”😭😭😭

@Hallie Bateman: I’ve still got a pack of ugly “adult briefs” I bought for after my sling surgery (to fix my post menopause breakthrough pee problem). I also used them when I had my colonoscopy. They’re not cute but not as uncomfortable or noisy as I was afraid they were going to be. Things will get better, so hang in there!! PS Jack is awesome! I had to buy a pack for my brother after he had prostate surgery (he was too embarrassed) but I got him the generic kind. :-)

❤️