Have a Lovely Weekend.
What are you up to this weekend? My mom is visiting for an early Christmas celebration, and the boys are ecstatic. She arrives this afternoon, and we made shortbread last night in anticipation. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…
Warby Parker is offering 20% off two or more prescription glasses. I wear these and these every day.
Bess Kalb’s hyper-specific gift guide made me laugh out loud. “I love a fly-fishing dad. I have a fly-fishing dad. One day I will become, in my own way, a fly-fishing dad.”
Whoa, these shrimp towers!!! (NYTimes gift link)
Have you seen this old Aziz Ansari sketch about commercial jingles?
The everyday gift I’m giving my sister. (I swear by mine.)
Six months with mom. “As a teenager, Danielle, a straight-A student, has the chance to live with her mom, a wild spirit with a dangerous streak who has disappeared into the witness protection program.” (Via Gloria)
Beautiful advertisement for a pen, of all things.
Love this blue stripe.
Corduroys and sneakers are winter’s most stylish combo.
“I’m the ponytail guy from Good Will Hunting, and I can’t enjoy fries anymore.”
Freddie brought up marriage, but we’re stuck on one part. Would love your advice! (Big Salad, paywalled)
Plus, four reader comments:
Says Christina on 11 readers share their favorite photos of the year: “I know the thrill of the first guess Wordle win! Nothing can take away that high. Once, I commented on my friend thread about how badly I did on that day’s Wordle, and my friend Barb wrote, ‘You’ll always have ATONE.’”
Says Addi on four fun things: “I’ve learned how to make my favorite fajitas at home. We use two chicken breasts, bell peppers, onion, broccoli florets, yellow squash, zucchini, Kinder’s ‘The Fajita Blend’ seasoning, and the secret ingredient is… fresh pineapple! Cook it up, add your favorite tortilla, and bam: the best fajitas you’ve ever had. In the comfort of your own home. With the Sopranos in the background.
Says Anonymous on something weird happened last night: “Our family is going through an unbearably hard season — my husband is currently incarcerated, and I’m taking care of our two little kids alone. Navigating the holidays feels impossible, but not creating joy for my kids this season – who are so young and have no idea what’s really going on – is unthinkable. ‘I can do it with a broken heart.’ Thank you for this encouragement.”
Says Ruth on Kate Bear’s house tour: “The way I GASPED when I realized we get to see into Kate’s house. Kate, it’s just so you — quirky, warm, and reassuring. Meeting you in Brooklyn was the highlight of my year. If I lived closer, I’d be over for board games asap. xo”
(Photo by Julien Chatelain/Unsplash.)
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Comments
142 commentsCannot find that comment on the ‘something weird happened’ post. Was it deleted?
Hi Joey. Nope, here it is. We didn’t include the first couple sentences, just because they referenced a different comment. ❤️
isn’t the comment from Erica’s “The Fragile Heart’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays” post and not Joanna’s “something weird happened” post?
Ah, yes, you’re correct! I overlooked that when I replied with the link. Thanks, Carly!
as usual, came here to avoid the news. the news! this past weekend! sucked so very hard! but here people are honest and kind. thank you. joanna, this site is the fruit salad question to me in the middle of the night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPpzXlWrdic I was late to the Brandi Carlile party a few years back and once I caught her live (tears of joy during most of her show) I now take BC mental breaks just to have her voice run through me. Few artists have that effect on me so deeply. So, if you find yourself a touch stressed out, I highly recommend finding that generous musical voice/backroom sound that just brings you right.
Hello from a fellow Hilary who is OBSESSED with Brandi! Such a powerful voice, such a good human being. If you can ever see her at Red Rocks, it’s life changing. RR is just a few minutes from my house, but it’s worth a pilgrimage if it’s far for you!
What a venue! I saw The Lyle Lovett Band at Red Rock and Sheryl Crow years ago there. Brandi just announced touring plans in the YT video concert I linked. Can’t wait! Excited for BOTH of us!
Well I came to the COJ comments section for some levity after a very intense and stressful meeting at work, and just a few comments in, here comes Hillary with 2+ hours of my absolute favorite! I have been listening for the last hour, what a balm. I shared with my bff, and she is listening from her office now, too. The COJ domino effect continues.
@Betsy Thorleifson, you made my day. Domino success.
Chiming in to say that I fully support Joanna’s choices on what she writes about, and what she chooses to put behind a paywall. She is more generous than any other blogger I read. Armchair quarterbacks are so loud on the internet and I always remember this Roosevelt quote when I read uncharitable comments like the ones on this post. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.… —Theodore Roosevelt”
Wholeheartedly agree !!
Agree!
Thank you for this quote!! I am putting it on my wall immediately :)
Let’s not get too dramatic about this. Theodore Roosevelt, really?!
Just coming here to throw my full support behind Joanna for her decisions regarding if, when, and how she writes about her life and her family. I think she navigates the lines between openness and privacy, free and paid remarkably well. As one of my favorite lines goes “You can’t please everyone. You are not coffee.” (And even that doesn’t please everyone!)
Agree!!
It does not. I love coffee but it does not please my stomach! :’)
Also agree!
Yes!
I’ve been thinking of you, Anonymous. I hope you get to have some of your own holiday magic this year
Who knew that the link to shrimp towers would turn out to be so triggering or ice-bergish! Sorry to see that the COJ supportive vibe is in short supply this week. I will assume we are all struggling with end of the year stress. I know I certainly am. Sending best wishes to Joanna and all for a restful end of the year. <3
Hahaha I only went to look at the shrimp tower link after reading the comments and somehow I was still shocked :D
Haha same!!
It’s sunday morning and i’m still in bed, having just finished devouring Fresh Water for Flowers. I heard about it in the comments sections a couple of months ago and added it to my library holds immediately. I want to say thank you to whoever recommended it. Some books change you at your core, I lived a thousand lives reading this stunner. I hope this comment convinces someone else to read it. You will cry, but you’ll see the world brighter after.
Ditto x 1000000
Good to know, I just ordered a gently used copy of it last week.
Yes, me too! I read my library copy and am going to buy my own copy because I loved it so much I need to own it. I cried too.
This is so interesting to me. It is the only book my book club has ever cancelled. I think one person finished it, and she didn’t get the email allowing us to just stop reading. Not every book is for everyone, nor should it be.
Oh I read it several weeks ago. It was one of the most moving books I’ve ever read! Just magical in so many ways. I am thankful for the person who recommended it.
My feelings (and personal situation) are close to Joaquina’s when it comes to content, paywalls, etc. It seems to me that Joanna has made reasonable policies and choices. I think it’s important to support and celebrate women both receiving and giving good value for written content. We have inevitable transitions now, and in the future, so that blogs, essays, reports, etc. are fairly compensated. Let’s celebrate affirming the tangible value that informed writing brings to us. Now, off that soapbox: our 4 year old received the most obnoxious multiple sound “laser gun”. (Yes, this present was not only loud but also introduced toy guns). My husband disassembled the gun after bedtime, and lined that thing with a fat layer of duct tape, and then reassembled it. It really muted the sound effects! I highly recommend it for loud toys.
I spent last Christmas seeking to create joy for two young kids in the midst of a lot of chaos and trauma (dad in addiction etc). Anonymous’ post hits so hard and I just wish I could send her the biggest hug and I hope she’s proud to be able to show up for her kids in this moment. Things are better (not perfect or easy but better) here this Christmas and I am so damn proud of what I created in the midst of that train wreck last year. We can do hard things and the kids will be alright. And I hope she has a good therapist and good friends. Xxoo
I loved this comment and want to underscore a word that moms (and dads, and other caregivers) probably don’t feel enough. Pride. We raise little humans to be big humans and we criticize ourselves endlessly for what we are doing wrong and yet we rarely feel pride for our work as caregivers. We feel pride at work or when our house is clean, and we feel pride that we have great kids when they do something special in sports or school as if they ended up like that on accident, but pride for our parenting? Pshhhh. I’m so glad this commenter recognized this. And to Anonymous–you are doing an amazing job in an impossible situation. May you feel that just a little bit this holiday season.
I used to love corduroys when I was a teenager, and wore them all the time in the cooler months. I’d love to revisit that with a nice pair of dark navy wide legs but I hesitate because corduroy can make that shoop shoop sound when walking…and I don’t know why I am sharing this here. The holidays might be making me a little crazy.
I, for one, love that you shared this!
I don’t have a Big Salad subscription so I don’t know the precise question being wrestled with, but as they say: the cloud clears as you enter it. Wishing you joy.
Just saw this article on NPR about breaking couples “rules” that speaks to your question, Jo! comic:%20A%20couple’s%20therapist%20says%20you%20can%20break%20these%20relationship%20rules%20%0A%0Ahttps%3A//www.npr.org/2025/12/12/g-s1-101179/comic-a-couples-therapist-says-you-can-break-these-relationship-rules
I sent my sister the pen ad because she used to always twist her hair up like that, and she pointed out it was created with AI. Gah!
For anyone who appreciates a good Aziz throwback, this is the video that made me a fan 15+ years ago while I was also walking around Washington Square Park :) https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/57ntn4/aziz_ansari_walking_around_new_york_blasting_the/?rdt=55465
it’s so weird to be posting in the main post and comments video from someone who sexually harassed and assaulted a woman.
https://www.timburtonlifeintheline.com/ Fans of Tim Burton’s work, keep an eye out for this 4 part docuseries. Years ago his work on display at MoMa blew us away. Fans ever since. Heading to Death Becomes Her tomorrow. Perhaps the first snow day? Halfway thru The Correspondent. Loving the style and pace of this novel. Our son returns for a visit-sure to be fun. No way on shrimp towers-iced shellfish a must. Holiday cheer is here!
I would love more discussion on Marriage. I would love to hear from people who have remarried. I’m so curious how it feels to find someone & want to commit to them knowing you have done it before perhaps with an outcome you didn’t expect. Does it feel different the second time around? (I’m astounded & endlessly impressed at people who risk their hearts again and again) Have you done something differently this time? (Would you do something different at the wedding itself!?) I’m beyond curious.
I’m remarried! It’s more complicated this time, as we both brought children along, and one of us has an overbearing ex and one of us has a very laid back ex, which brings some resentment an complicated feelings. But it also feels a lot more intentional, as we’re both older and it didn’t feel like something we “had” to do because it was what everyone our age was doing, but rather like something we chose to do very deliberately. Some days it feels harder because our kids or exes add a layer of complication that didn’t exist in our first marriages but the relationship itself is far and away better, I just was not in love before this. As for the wedding, we didn’t do anything because we were “supposed” to because we paid for it ourselves lol. And we only invited people we wanted to, it was divine! Pretty much everything is better when you’re older, as it turns out!!
Agree with Jade’s request and THANK YOU Joy for chiming in with your experience. A full post with advice, anecdotes, tips from more folks like Joy would be very interesting and welcome!
I remarried 4 years after my divorce was official, now over a decade ago. at the time I cycled through stages of extreme fear of love and eventually realized deep down inside that I really did want to make a family with someone else. I couldn’t be happier. I grew so much as a result of my divorce and credit that with at least half of what makes my second marriage different. I learned to communicate better and we even went to a few couples counseling sessions early on to nip a couple of small issues in the bud. in my first marriage, I would’ve just buried those feelings deep inside and let our issues fester. I also found an incredible husband who gave me everything and I needed and more.
I’m very happily remarried. As with Joy – it was more complicated because we both had, at the time, younger children. I had 3 – 10, 12, 14 and he had one 9 years old. His ex was a bit heavy handed and mine was totally absent. We pretty quickly had another child together, and another a few years later. It was very hard those first years due to teenager hell, but my husband was made to be a step dad to teenagers going through teenage hell. On top of that, we met in October and married in May! We did not dilly dally! We made it through and have been married for 32 years. I feel so lucky to have connected with a man who cherishes me and absolutely puts his family first. I think moving so fast kept me from chickening out on the whole thing. Our wedding was a hippie wedding, in a field, pot luck reception, standing in a circle, and lots of dancing. The only thing I might change is to just elope. I’m madly in love with my guy and feel so glad I didn’t let him pass me by.
Yes! As someone at the beginning of a divorce process, with someone I loved dearly but who changed pretty dramatically due to substance abuse and mental health issues and just life… It makes me.skeptical that there are people out there who I could trust to be my partner again. I want to hear stories of people who made it to the other side and want to do it again!
I love to talk about this! In my 20ies I felt like I needed to get married and even though there were things that were not good with my bf, I was too afraid to break up and start anew. So after being together for 9 years, we got married (small morning wedding in the mountains followed by a brunch, just what we wanted) and then had a baby. Things got very difficult afterwards, he is a narcistic person and I suffered a lot of neglect/abuse from him, especially after the baby was born (I am in therapy now). But everyone says marriage is hard blablabla so I tried to make it work until he announced that he was in love with someone else. Long story short, we are divorced. Roughly a year after splitting up, I met an amazing man, from whom I finally learned what unconditional love is. The contrast with my previous relationship was so big, and we were so in love, that we very naturally decided to get married. He was not married before and no kids, but in a long-term relationship. Everything is easy with him, he is a fantastic step father, we are super happy and this second marriage is the real deal to me. The first one was always so difficult and should not have happened. When I met my second husband, I just knew that he was good for me, and 5 years in, everything is still easy and natural. Regarding the wedding itself, since you asked, we again had a small-ish wedding that fit us very well and was also different from the first one (which was still very nice, I do not regret that day because we did something that had meaning to us). To summarise this novel (sorry!), in my opinion, marriage/relationships should not be work, they should be mostly easy, and for weddings, do something that YOU want, and you won’t regret anything.
Also, when I say easy, I mean just the relationship between the two persons. Of course in cases where both have kids and exes, things can be more complicated logistically. I would have loved to gain step children through a second marriage, but maybe we would not have gotten along. Obviously, as Joy said, a second marriage can have several added “layers”, and our situation is realtively simple, I am aware of that and didn’t mean to be judgemental of more complicated situations.
I too would love to hear more stories of non-traditional families, divorce and second marriages. I have been married for 8 years with a perfect on paper man, who whom I deeply appreciate and have a lot of love for. With that being said, there has always been doubt in the back of my mind that I was truly in love and attracted to him. I always wrote the doubts off as “grass is greener syndrome” and my own problems and insecurities. 8 years later, a lot of therapy, a wedding and a 2 year old son and I am starting to come to the realization that my intuition was right all along. This has devastated me and I fear what the future holds. I always imagined the nuclear family. I always thought we would have more than 1 child. But I feel like I cannot reject myself any longer and my husband also deserves someone who loves them unconditionally, without pervasive doubt. I am desperate for stories of divorce or uncoupling gone well, beautiful blended families, and healing and acceptance after what you always envisioned changes. Jo’s blog has been a balm as I witness her divorce and relationship with Freddy. More content like this please! Or any other stories in the comments to help me feel confidence in my uncertain future.
Aziz Ansari performed at Riyadh Comedy Festival, Saudi Arabia.. just saying
YUP
Corduroy’s and sneakers!!! A friend handed me down some old Levi corduroy’s that are hanging on by a thread, and I’ve been slipping on my 5 year old Nike’s with them and I am so comfortable! Made me laugh that my comfort outfit made it to Glamour! (And made me feel on point! Mom of 4 kids here, and definitely in a ‘comfort clothes’ kind of season right now)
Love the pen ad, but don’t love that it was made with AI! Doesn’t that just kind of zap the coolness out of the photo? I don’t know if it’s just me, but something like getting a pen to perfectly twist and hold up your hair is so impressive because it sort of defies gravity and physics. Creating the image with AI just flattens all of that. Not trying to criticize Cup of Jo for posting it – it is a sweet and funny way to advertise a pen. I just find that all of the AI I see makes me crave real humans in all of their imperfections and messiness!
+1 to all of this!
Those food towers were a sensory nightmare! I legit could not eat a cookie from the same table! Also, if the author is storing and reusing her foam tower, I have some bacteria-related questions! If the pick goes through the shrimp and greens into the foam(is that how it works?), wouldn’t that poke shrimp and greens bits into the foam? That is then sitting on a fridge top for a year? Honestly, though, thanks for sharing—this is 100% the nonsense debate I needed to calm my brain as I lie awake after a hard, anxiety-filled day!
Anonymous, I’m rooting you on from afar. I hope you find twinkly joy for your kids and moments of peace for yourself in what sounds like a heartbreakingly, lonely situation.
Ok I read that shrimp tower article before seeing it on COJ and was profoundly disgusted by it. I like shrimp! I’m not a germaphobe, and I will eat seafood not on ice. But those pictures are horrific…all the little eyes on the shrimp at the bottom of the Bon Appetit tower…the impaled shrimp dangling like limp noodles on the other picture…I can’t unsee it, and it makes my skin crawl
lol came to see if anyone else was supremely icked out by the shrimp tower!
Anon converter with the incarcerated partner: if you’re inclined, please drop a Venmo. I realize this might not be your situation, but I know a sudden drop to a single income can be tough, as can the many costs of incarceration. ❤️ we can’t unbreak your heart but we can make your holiday a little less stretched!
I guess I was making a FACE because my husband just looked over at me with concern and said “what’s wrong!” And I had to reply “shrimp towers”
LOL
Anyone else watching Down Cemetery Road?? Gah, riveting,!!!! My husband has to work tonight so I’m not watching (we take show monogamy seriously over here lol) and it’s killing me. We’re 4 episodes in and I’m like, how can there be 4 more?? Where is this going? Also, bless Mick Heron. One of my favorite writers of all time. I’m so excited there are 4 books in the Zoe Boehm series, and I hope that means we’ll get a bunch more seasons of her bad assery. Emma Thompson and Ruth Wilson and the entire supporting cast are just bonkers good. Also, real faces!!! That express. It’s so refreshing.
Yes, and we also love it! And are likewise crazy about Slow Horses, which we find enormously entertaining in every way. Excellent cast, all holding their own alongside Gary Oldman and Kristen Scott Thomas.
Finished it, liked it OK, it’s no Slow Horses and for the life of me, I could not ever figure out the Ruth Wilson character’s motivation, like what? You risked everything to deliver a card? Not well-thought out…
Andreea, can’t speak for the author, but there’s a small conversation between Zoe and Sarah (on the boat i think? ) in 2nd to last episode, where Zoe tells Sarah than she reminded her of her husband….I think Sarah’s motivation is revealed there. And also….. she’s looking for an exit (Downy yells her HE won’t be her exit), and she’s lost and searching and BORED. Her husband…. ugh. I also think there is some OCD and neurodivergence hinted at, that can explain obsession. And also, if not Sarah…. Dinah would be dead. At the end of day, Sarah was brave and GOOD, and put her life on the line for another human. So we love in a world where that’s become unimaginable. Personally, I sobbed when she met Dinah, and again when she sent her off to live her life. I want to be brave like that.
I had a gift giving aha moment this week and I wanted to share. I realized that I’m stressing over whether the gifts I’m giving to the people I love adequately communicate JUST HOW MUCH I love them. But once I put it like that, I saw the flaw: love is infinite. No gift, no pile of gifts could come close to enumerating my love, because love is not a number.
Amen, Suz! My nephew asked me to draw him a bunch of hearts, which I did, and he asked, is that how much you love me? I said, nope, I love you forever, infinity.
I love that, Rachel!
Anyone else think of the book Lessons in Chemistry when they saw the pen advertisement?
Which recipe of shortbread did you use? If you could, please share! I love shortbreads!
About marriage: there are NO rules, you make the rules… now, personnally, I would say that marriage is certainly not about changing anything; just get married and keep on living your life! thank you for sharing such a personal experience and be prepared for all the comments .-) Love from Paris
This. Getting married doesn’t mean anything needs to change. You don’t HAVE to move. You don’t have to do anything. You and Freddie get to choose and it sounds like what’s happening works. Why change it? Cause you’re “supposed” to? Bah.
Cosigned. One of my coolest aunts lived in a house beside her husbands, connected by a little bridge! It’s the best. Some of the family is very judgy of them ‘not sleeping together’ and ‘clearly troubled’ but she has never cared and there is just so much love in their marriage. It works for them!
Yes, Agnes, Yes!!!!
… Good point about making marriage what you need and want it to be for yourselves, as a couple. I would caution though that marriage is a change in itself. If you don’t want anything to change, then probably don’t change things. But going into marriage with the expectation of nothing changing is setting yourselves up for failure. Life changes as you go, it is inevitable, and marriage is a change. Expect change.
The shrimp farming industry is horribly unethical. 90% of shrimp eaten in US is imported from SE Asia. Enslaved labor is used to farm and process shrimp. Shrimp farming requires vast Mangrove tree removal, which leads to millions of human deaths (Mangroves provide protective barriers against natural disasters). Shrimp are tortured, the female shrimp’s eyes are cut out without anesthesia to encourage reproduction. Read more here: https://www.fastcompany.com/90833406/shrimp-farming-unethical-vegan-alternative Everyone can live without eating shrimp. Considering how your actions contribute to these horrors.
Aaaah!!! I had no idea! Thank you so much for sharing this. Looking into it.
Jesus. I had no idea. I’m vegetarian for 40+ years, and extremely allergic to shrimp so already on this bandwagon, and this is extra affirming. Thank you for sharing so that perhaps a few others can make a kinder choice.
Thank you for sharing. The eyes being cut out of female (mother) shrimp is horrible. I didn’t know any of this.
Thank you for all of that info (seriously, not being sarcastic) I will definitely research and probably not eat shrimp anymore!
Thank you for posting this information!
Now this is the comment I’d like on the Readers Comments list – something that would make the world a kinder place. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this. If it is like that, I’m on board. Can defo live without eating shrimp.
Yes!! please do not eat shrimp
I appreciate your passion, but this is information I didn’t need to have.
What an insane reply to an innocuous link about a shrimp tower. Get off your moral high horse.
They are also the majority of farmed animals in the world. This is another article on the topic: https://www.currentaffairs.org/news/shrimp-are-the-most-abused-animals-on-earth. I think it’s arguable that eating factory farmed pigs or octopus is worse – they’re a lot smarter than the shrimp. But I do cringe at the shrimp towers.
Wow, thank you so so much. I really had no idea. This is such powerful information. I was always told that seafood was a more ethical option than meat. This is very helpful to know.
Thank you for posting about this! I knew shrimp were problematic from an environmental stand point – shrimp results in a lot of additional fish being caught and wasted (bycatch) but I didn’t know about some of these other problems. Also glad to see most people thinking critically about your comment instead of immediately shutting it down. I can’t stand the “oh you must be fun at parties” comments when people bring up legit concerns or hard truths for people to consider.
Couldn’t disagree more, Jade. Having ethics and morals is a good thing.
I greatly appreciate the info about shrimp. I’m allergic so I don’t partake but I know many who do who might be shocked to learn about the industry and would want to know. I personally had no idea.
Jade, I’m confused as to what kind of worldview actively seeks less compassion and kindness. What is the purpose of attacking people who genuinely want the world to be a better place? How does it make you feel better? Thank you for posting Lydia, we all should be striving to be more humane, especially in these times.
For all of you interested in the shrimp conversation (the ethics, farming, enslavement, environmental cost side, not the “wow, a tower . . .” side), I just taught Benjamin Lorr’s fascinating and troubling The Secret Life of Groceries to my college composition students and would highly recommend it. No clear or easy answers to the problems, but he lays those out carefully, and the book is enlightening! https://www.powells.com/book/secret-life-of-groceries-the-dark-miracle-of-the-american-supermarket-9780553459418?srsltid=AfmBOoq7WaoE_S-ixXkZeOFA27RY-1K6X0alkTa8ipE7ntZCBozwrZwN
Anyone remotely interested in social justice would be horrified by the reality of any animal product whatsoever, and the work of the people who bring those products to us. I often say, If you don’t want to be a vegan for animals, do it for humans (often undocumented immigrants or essentially enslaved laborers overseas who are forced to torture animals for a living and receive no support). But swearing off shrimp is a good place to start!
I am heartened by the many thoughtful and caring comments here. I don’t judge what other people eat (that would be exhausting, and I don’t want judgment either), but I feel like more and more people are trying their best to be kind and ethical with their consumption in all the ways, and I find it really hopeful.
Off topic: If you are looking for a charming story-line that spanned over 18 series, tadaahh: “Heartbeat” on ITV. As you can imagine I am not from the UK having just discovered this cute thing and currently marvel in series 11 (village life with police and sheep and lovely people, and obvs crime). Like Agatha Christie as in a story you can trust, but in a very different setting (sounds confusing but makes sense in my head). I am having a real let’s pretend it’s 1992 or sooner moment: you know the whole no internet thing and so on. I find it simply delightful. That’s it. Wishing everybody a lovely cozy peace-embracing weekend!
Oh and I forgot: it has the best soundtrack! It is as if somebody collected the best songs over 18 years and put them all into this series for us to enjoy. It feels a bit like when you listened to the radio waiting for your favourite song in order to tape it on cassette :)
Adding this to my list! I’ve been looking for a new Brit drama to binge, and this looks great!
I watched this when I was a kid and I can still sing the whole theme tune! Agreed that it has a fantastic soundtrack.
I loved The Grudge’s hyper-specific gift guide! Beautiful and soothing to read people’s descriptions of their loved ones (with an undercurrent of anxiety because, well, gift-giving is hard!). “Particular about her appearance in a way that’s hard to intervene in.” “Actually nurtures his male friendships, including long calls with his best friend across the country. Not a sports guy.” “She hosts and produces a science podcast, so my previous go-to gift (the coolest, weirdest sciencey book I could find) never works because she invariably read it two years ago when she got an advance copy.” I hope all these recipients have a wonderful holiday with these people who love and see them so clearly.
I had the same exact thought! What a delightful read.
The only “tower” seafood should ever be served from is a tower of crushed ice. I said what I said.
Agree! it’s the room temp nature of these towers that makes me shudder.
Hahahah Jennie, I’m glad I’m not the only one who looked at that and thought, “Mm, food poisoning, delicious.”
I love shrimp. I like towers. But the shrimp towers give me the heebie jeebies. Anyone else?
That phallic-like shrimp tower in particular gives me the creeps.
The penis shrimp tower is obscene on a number of levels. Yikes.
I kept thinking about room temperature rubbery shrimp, shudder.
Yes! Completely unappetizing
I love shrimp too. I find these revolting.
Good LORD they are all horrifying, getting worse the more i scrolled down! The speared ones, the phallic smoking nightmare, worst of all those headless gnarled witch finger ones!
I have the Brimmer frames and get so many compliments even from strangers! I have a bit of a big head haha and they fit great!
I was given a wooden paddle brush just like the one linked by my friend Jonathan as a bat mitzvah gift in 1996. And I still have it!! Still going strong 29 years and counting. I don’t brush my hair anymore (curls! my 12 year old self would have loved to know what to do with her curls!) but my beautifully straight-haired 10yo uses it now. Who would have thought it would be the bat mitzvah gift I hung onto the longest!
this made me chuckle.
yes, I started big salad as a way to talk about dating without it being on the open Internet for my neighbors and exes to google! :) so I keep the more intimate stuff there behind a paywall. hope this makes sense!
Has anyone seen The End of An Era docuseries? I can do it with a broken heart – how she rallies for her fans after being stricken and sobbing before going on stage I found so moving. Anonymous’s heartwrenching a beautiful message here made me think of that; got Anonymous is rallying for her kids. Much love
Is 6 Months with Mom a true story? Want to know before I start reading it. Thank you.
Yes, it is a true story. I read it and had to double check afterwards! The site only publishes and commissions true stories.
Some of us cannot afford a subscription. I feel that we get left out of the good stuff because we are not subscribers. Honestly, I’ve read you for years and am part of the many who helped you achieve the level of success you have (which you deserve) It doesn’t feel like community when you don’t share stuff about Freddie here, for example, as all of us who have been reading for years are invested in your happiness.
I hear you, Irena. Thank you for your lovely note. I keep certain things behind a paywall because I don’t want just anyone (neighbors, exes, my kids’ friends) to be able to google it, or for things that are nuanced to come up with a quick google search of my name. That said! I totally understand that some long-term readers can’t afford subscriptions, and I don’t want anyone to feel left out. Our solution, after thinking about it deeply, is to offer a number of comped subscriptions every month. Just email newsletter@cupofjo.com to get on the waitlist — we offer a lot of them, so the list moves very quickly. Thank you so much for all your support, and for understanding!!
The entitlement. Goodness.
We do not have a right to know things about Jaonna’s personal life, though, even as those of us have read Cup Of Jo for years. I can not afford a subscription either but I support people’s endeavors to make a living with their writing. This free site has so much other content to enjoy!
Oof typo! “Joanna’s”
Agreed with Joaquina. “I got here first” is not a viable (or reasonable, kind, fair) claim on Joanna’s writing endeavors. If she wrote a book, would you expect us to get a free copy? No. Why is a blog any different? Joanna, I appreciate your continued calms and graciousness when navigating the comments.
Aww Irena, you sound really frustrated about this! I know in my own life that when I feel upset that someone’s using their own autonomy and agency in a way that frustrates me, it’s usually because my own autonomy and agency don’t fully feel like mine at the moment. Joanna is free to share whatever she wants for whoever she wants. I really hope you feel that way in your own life!
Irena, Joanna does share deeply personal stuff about Freddie on here. Did you miss her post on Monday about their phone call when she had a panic attack? Or Freddie’s desk photos? Or the recipes he’s allowed her to share with us? The entire Cup of Jo team has generous shared FREE content with us for close to two decades. I am so grateful for that… AND I choose to be a paying subscriber of Big Salad. Not because I’d feel left out if I weren’t, but because I choose to support COJ after all they’ve given me – for free – for so long. (And truth be told: I don’t even really read Big Salad that often. I read COJ daily, and Big Salad mayyybeee every few weeks. I personally like the content here more!). My subscription amounts to $4 per month. While I don’t want to make assumptions about your budget, I do wonder if you could find one small expense to cut out if you truly wanted to subscribe to Big Salad (or heck: get on their waitlist for free subscriptions, which they also generously offer!). You don’t have to be the victim here.
I applied for a free subscription and was kindly gifted one very quickly.
What a wild take. Nobody is entitled to information about someone else’s life.
Joanna, you don’t have to be so nice all the time :) bless you, woman!!
Jo, the elegance of your answer – you amaze me 🥹
Respectfully, Joanna does not owe anyone the details of her personal life! Paid or unpaid
I completely agree that we have no right at all to know anything about Joanna’s personal life. There is something that feels icky though about selling updates on your relationship. I think the way this type of thing is posted in the weekly roundup just feels kind of odd and unappealing. AND I completely agree that Joanna has the right to make a living with her writing! For me, it’s not an issue of feeling like I have a right to know anything, so much as reacting to the general vibe of selling access to a relationship.
Yikes! This does not feel like a supportive viewpoint. I don’t have a subscription either, but I support Joanna’s ability to earn more without paid advertising for terrible companies. She’s still providing a free website with great content.
I get why you’re frustrated, but it’s worth remembering that Joanna is a writer—this is her work. If we’ve been enjoying her content for years, that value didn’t come from nowhere. Writers don’t have a secret income stream; this is how they’re able to keep creating. Supporting the work is part of how it continues to exist.
Irena, I can feel the frustration in your comment, and while I agree with those who’ve responded, I wanted to add that I’m hearing a deep sense of being left out and excluded that no one has acknowledged. This hurts, especially when it’s probably a matter of money. And the responses must only be adding to that feeling. I hope you will try for a free subscription. I hope you feel like you do belong here. And I understand that even a small amount of money can be insurmountable for some of us (there are so many content creators I really want to support, but I’m a preschool teacher with no retirement, close to retirement age, there’s just no way ). Anyway, I see you.
I hear all these comments, I feel somewhere in between! I think Joanna totally has a right to not share personal information unless it’s behind a paywall, but I feel like a paywall doesn’t really keep things private? Just inaccessible to people who can’t afford it. Ya know, students, exes, kids friends, would just have to have 6 dollars and maybe the help of a friend with a credit card to read anything they want. But! I totally want Joanna to make lots of money and keep paying her wonderful team well. I feel like maybe just not writing extremely juicy things like “marriage question” on the weekend roundup, might feel more respectful to readers who can’t afford a subscription. Just thoughts!
That Bon Appetit shrimp tower…that’s deliberately (?) a penis, right?
hahahahahhahaha now I can’t unsee it
And it’s *smoking*! If I walked into a party and saw that, I’d need to go tell an adult.
Read the comments in NY Times – they universally “skewer” the article. 😂 And also “I’d need to go tell an adult” – LOL girl!!!
I had the same thought! I was very surprised that it was a Bon Appétit party not a bachelorette or similar lol