How Was Your Weekend?
“Would you ever consider a Monday update?” a reader named Molly commented last week. “It could be a mini complement to the ‘Have a Great Weekend’ posts. I’m always curious how the party went, which dress you chose, how the play/movie was, etc. Would be a fun way to jump into the week.”
What a sweet note! And I love hearing about other people’s weekends, too. So, let’s do a little catch-up, if you’re in the mood. How was your weekend? Did you celebrate Thanksgiving? Watch any good shows or read any good books? I’ll go first…
My dad came to visit (the boys were visiting Alex’s side of the family), and it felt so special to have one-on-one time, which we haven’t had much of since before the boys were born. For Thanksgiving dinner, we drove to spend time with Freddie’s family.
We did the New Yorker crossword puzzle en route…
…and I brought a bag full of treats — a fun puzzle for Freddie’s sister, fancy hand wash for his mom, Italian wine for his dad, and the best book I read this year for Freddie. Also, I wrapped the presents in John Derian wrapping paper, which comes with gift tags and is so gorgeous!
The evening was lovely — here, Freddie and I were heading out for a quick walk before we all sat down to dinner — and we also played foosball and goofed around with kids and ate the most delicious creamy green beans. I always find it fun and fascinating to join another family for Thanksgiving because people have such specific recipes and traditions. Side note: Why don’t we eat pumpkin pie year round??
My aunts — Janey and Lulu — sent photos of their celebration over in England, too. How cute are they? Would you be interested in a beauty uniform from Janey? (Lulu’s was really fun to put together:)
Once we returned home, my dad and I watched Frasier reruns, as one does. My mom always says Daphne reminds her of her own mother, and since her mom died when I was two, I love watching the show and thinking about what she must have been like.
My dad also balanced my car tires (legit did not know that was a thing) and helped me update our living room photo wall. Every couple years, I try to swap in photos of the boys at their current ages, so it doesn’t end up feeling like a shrine to their toddler selves!
One evening, we had friends over for a casual snack-y hang, and my friend’s son showed off his magic tricks. How cute are the grandparents?
Whenever we have a houseful of people, I think of Catherine Newman’s home tour. “Our door area is chaotic,” she says. “When I saw this poster at a friend’s house, it made me think, Oh right, this mess is a value instead of a liability.”
Speaking of Catherine Newman, she gave her daughter an L.L. Bean bag with these monogrammed letters “just to make her laugh.” Made me laugh, too!
Finally, after my dad headed home to Michigan, I had a few hours to myself, and I visited the John Derian shop and admired the cakes at From Lucie. Life has had some ups and downs lately, so this weekend felt like a tonic. Now I cannot WAIT for the boys to come home — always feels so good to have the chickies back in the nest!!!
Now, please tell me, if you’d like, about your weekend — the highs, the lows, anything you’d like to share. Lots of love, as always. xoxo
P.S. 10 readers share happy moments, and the best movie I’ve seen in ages.
Tags: personal, weekend recap
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149 commentsYes, please, to any post from your aunts! Beauty, fashion, life advice, all welcome!
My weekend was fun and restful! I work in retail so my Black Friday was spent on early morning calls and solving issues at work but on the weekend, I gave a ride to my newest friend (an elderly lady at church) and rested my body. I also did some light shopping at Athleta as I return to working out after a recent health procedure.
I’m 39, and my mom still says “always feels so good to have the chickies back in the nest” when I arrive at my own home from a vacation or business trip. :)
Late to the party because we’re on a short trip to Paris, where my husband had some business. We visited with my his family the day after Thanksgiving. We live in Boston and his brother and his wife live in NY. As we sat around the table, my husband mentioned that we were going to Paris in a few days. “So are we!” said my sister-in-law, who asked, “When are you leaving?” “Thursday night,” said my husband. “So are we!” said my SIL” We discovered that we are flying home on Monday (tomorrow) within an hour of each other, and we are staying in small hotels in the 5th arrondissement, with a 10-minute walk between them. We were pretty staggered: it is the weirdest coincidence ever. My husband and I haven’t been to Paris since 2017; they’ve only been once, long ago. I sense the ghostly presence of the boys’ mother, who loved Paris and all things French. Alas, our paths didn’t cross during our whirlwind trips, although we tried, but we might get together at the airport (same airline).
This sounds like such a good time! I love it and that photo with the grandparents and adults watching the trick…heart melts! Lately I’ve been thinking to really really pay attention to the time I’m in right now because it all goes by and changes so fast. My 16 year old daughter and I are heading to see Lafy Gaga tonight and I can not wait! We are excited to see the outfits and I love that my daughter made a lot of hers and she is helping me choose mine. The young people in a store I went to helped me when I said I’m looking for something a bit gothic and they were all over it! They said the mum should feel special too. So sweet!
Love that poster! It reminds me of the novel the Fortnight in September, which has a sentence in which the narrator describes the tidy, almost bare entryway coat rack of a lonely older neighbor’s house and contrasts it with the family’s overflowing coat rack at home—helped me get over (some of) my despair at our own constantly overflowing family coat rack!
Yes, please – a Beauty Uniform with Aunt Janey!
Oh, I just love this post so much! Everything everything everything.
My favorite Thanksgiving moment came five days later when I spotted a post of Candace Bergen captioned “Me, avoiding politics at Thanksgiving.” Ladies, she was wearing a cashmere sweater that said “Bring back Barak.” First, I laughed and laughed. Then, I screamed, “I love this woman!” Last, I yelled to my daughter, “I want one of those for Christmas.”
[Immediately RUNS to order a VAG monogram item for sister]. Funniest thing I’ve seen in months
This is the best because it lets everyone vent in a safe, low stakes place. An exhale, for all!
Sunday would have been my dad’s and my godmother’s birthday. They shared a birthday, a blood type, and a love of my mother that started in college and spanned more than 60 years. My dad died two years ago on Christmas (rude!) and my godmother died just a few months ago. To celebrate the amazing people they were, I baked a coconut cake (my dad’s favorite), from scratch (to meet my godmother’s rigorous dessert standards), ate it standing over the sink (like Dad would do), using my silver (generously gifted to me by my godmother throughout my life). Then I took the leftovers to work on Monday and shared “My Dead Dad’s Birthday Cake” with coworkers. The combination of reverence and irreverence felt like the perfect way to honor the amazing and funny people they both were. True Thanksgiving.
I’m so sorry for your losses — what an amazing family you sound like, and what perfect celebrations of your people!
I had a weekend overnight hang with friends. We played board games and chatted all day and all night, ran errands, and swam in the pool. I had a lovely weekend and it was nice reading about yours!
Yes please to a Janey post! I live in England (near Bath) so I especially love all of your posts about your family and your Cornish adventures!
Hello Lucy, I too live near Bath in UK and am so thankful for CoJ every week. The enjoyment of ‘our’ beautiful Cornwall being shared across the pond is so uplifting. Isn’t it great to have all these sisters around the world. Janet
My first Thanksgiving on my own, kids were with their dad, and I was with some family. I came home early, took a lot of magnesium, and went to bed. I have my kids 80% of the time and we’ve been sick off and on for two months. I want to just sleep forever. I have a wild crush on someone and I’m not anywhere near being able to accept a move if he were to make one, which he isn’t, but I hope he might be at some point. And that’s all okay :)
This was so lovely to read. I hope those ups and downs even out a bit for you. I’m so glad you got that one-on-one time with your dad. My whole pre-kid young/adult life, I’d join mine for simple things regularly–matinees, Costco visits, hikes straight up a local hill. I remember being pregnant with my older kid and mourning that things were going to change for me and my dad. And they really did. Much was lost, and much was gained. I lost him a year ago August and miss him so much. He was a great dad, and a great grandad. Cheers to all the great parents and grandparents we’re missing this holiday season.
well, it was horrible bc my lsat score was 10 points below my practice exams, went down from my first try.
Be kind to yourself.
I’m not a lawyer but I’m married to one, and practically everyone else in the family is too. Just want to say, give yourself some grace, you’re just doing your best. My sister had a near perfect LSAT score and got waitlisted at the same school my husband got in to, with a mediocre score. Fast forward 15 years, they have wildly different careers (did end up at the same school with similar grades). So many factors, and no matter what you will be ok!
Loved this post! I had a breakthrough surfing this weekend. Bolstered by a sunny Thanksgiving with my husband, who lives 1000 miles away from me this year, I found the bravery to paddle hard past big breaking waves and extra peacefulness sitting on my board, patiently waiting for the perfect wave to catch. As in surfing, as in life…
Any Australian readers may be interested to know that Percival Everett is coming to Australia in early March 2026 for Adelaide Writers’ Week!
Oh amazing! Thank you. I’m a Sydneysider but always love a Writers Festival trip!
I swear the weekend is already a blur! Does anyone else feel like they have.a terrible short-term memory these days? Is it phone related? Parenting young children related (because let’s be honest- it’s kind of Groundhog’s Day)? I can hardly remember what I did two hours ago, nonetheless all weekend, but I want to try! We celebrated Thanksgiving at my cousin’s country club which was. . . . not ideal when you have young kids. No one wanted to host, so it was easy and now #neveragain. We went to his house afterward for games, more pie and drinks by the fire which was so fun! Then Friday, I made gingerbread houses with my nephew, twin nieces, and daughters. It was chaotic but fun. My family left, and my (Jewish) husband went with me and the girls to buy a Christmas tree. He doesn’t love this activity, and then trying to get it standing while hanging our 1 and 4-year-olds . . . it didn’t feel fun and festive at all. I’m not sure what to do in the future but I just don’t think it’s serving us to try to force him to do these Christmas things (makes me so sad because I love Christmas and I try to be equally excited about Hanukkah for him!! He just isn’t a very enthusiastic person about holidays). I was with my girls on my own the rest of the weekend because my husband had his 20 year high school reunion. We had a great time! We decorated the tree, watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer from the 70s, and the new cartoon Grinch movie. We got a cookie cake to celebrate my daughter 4 1/2 bday. We went out to lunch, and played at the playground (chilly but sunny). It was a great weekend, overall!
I also have a husband who isn’t enthusiastic about holidays…to include birthdays and anniversaries. In the early years of our marriage I tried to change his attitude, then later I just went along with him until it reached the point where Christmas was the only celebration of the year and muted at that. Now at the age of 64, I’m going for it. Why would we not celebrate every chance we get?! It’s going to be a struggle for me to keep committing to saying yes to it, but I managed a first Thanksgiving dinner in years, so I know I can do it. All that to say: Don’t give up!
Darn. This makes me feel a little sad (likely me projecting) as I have seen this happen to my sister with her husband. They have two amazing daughters and of course I wish for them to have such fun holidays / childhood is so fleeting and magic is sparse in our lifetimes. I have found it hard to not feel mad at my BIL for his i ability to put his s$i# aside (or at least kick up the pretending a notch), to allow the girls (my sister included) to have some fun (he’s a year-round grinch). He has sat holidays out, shown up grumpy, made snarky remarks about our family traditions enough so that my sister is exhausted from the constant work to deal with him (well, we’re all exhausted by him TBH). Wow, when I began this reply I didn’t realize I needed to vent so much about him! It’s deeply pained me to see the weight my sister has lived with under his moodiness etc. it’s been near-impossible for me to disguise my annoyance with him over tru years. While I don’t have any great advice here for you, I just think about the small sacrifice my BIL could make for these precious, few holidays they get to have with their kids and he can go live in his grinch cave every other day of the year. I don’t always feel great about the holidays, but you can be sure that the kids in my life (my nieces and nephews) would never know it. I have always done whatever I can to make fun memories for them every year. His behaviors affect everyone in the family. I learned later in life that my mother struggled a lot with the holidays when we were kids, but I can look back and see that she tried her hardest to be there with us and didn’t let her troubles affect our special days—especially when we were younger.
Your short and sweet Friday posts are something I always forward to, so a Monday recap feels like an excellent addition for the start of the week! More, please! :)
My Thursday/Friday was a fun — we hosted 9 friends for a lovely meal and Friday I went thrifting with a friend as part of her holiday gift, as she wanted a refreshed wardrobe but gets very overwhelmed. I was ready for a very busy weekend at the bookstore where I work, but Chicago got dumped with snow, so we had the slowest Small Business Saturday since 2020. We’re trying not to sweat about it, but after such a financially hard year (paying a living wage in a retail space with small margins is hard in the best of circumstances and 2025 has not been the best of circumstances) it’s hard not to stress. But! We got our holiday gift guide out and I’m very proud of it!
I’d love to support your bookstore! Do they have an online shop?
May I request a link to your gift guide?
Thank you for asking! We have an online shop and we ship anywhere in the US — I’ll even wrap your books and write a note! Here’s the gift guide which has links to our website: https://simplebooklet.com/womenchildrenfirstgiftguide2025
This is a fantastic gift guide! So many great book recommendations!
Yes to Monday updates! And the aunts are so precious… yes please to a style guide from Janey!
I had the lovliest long weekend! I worked from home on Wednesday which allowed me to do some prep, specifically making cranberry sauce from scratch which brings me a ridiculous amount of joy. Like they burst and bubble and turn the most gorgeous shade of red! Thanksgiving day, my husband and I hosted both sets of parents plus some family friends. It was lovely and chaotic and sentimental all in one. My in-laws felt the need to show up extra early (as they do to every holiday gathering) which throws me off when I’m trying to finish that last 15-20 minutes of prep before you know people are probably going to arrive. I didn’t lash out when people were just idly standing in the kitchen, but politely told my husband that he better move to another room before I stabbed him with a fork. All the parents and friends enjoyed the 80 mini pumpkins I hid throughout our house because whoever found the most won a prize! And once my in-laws left, we played a fun card game and yelled at my dad (lovingly!) for doing things wrong ;) It truly was joy and love all rolled into a day. And then I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday taking my time decorating for Christmas. Some years I feel the need to perform a Christmas miracle and see how fast I can possibly get everything decorated, all the Christmas dishes swapped, all fresh greens cut and adorned and it damn near kills me. So this year, I decided that it was allowed to take the full weekend. And it was glorious. My husband and I watched 3 Christmas movies (if you count Die Hard as a Christmas movie, which we do.) And now, i’m so happy with my decorations, I could burst.
I LOVE your mini pumpkin game! What a great idea for a house full of all ages kids, thank you.
Mini pumpkins = genius. Will do with candy canes when I host ok Christmas Eve!
Of course Die Hard is a Christmas movie! Our family has appetizers and watches it on Christmas Eve. :-)
Had some lovely relaxation time over the holiday weekend – interspersed with extended family and friend time. A few recos: – Devoured “Heart the Lover” by Lily King in one day. Highly recommend. – Re-watched “You Can Count on Me” – a movie from 2000 that introduced Mark Ruffalo to the world. So worth a rewatch and reminded me of how much I love both his and Laura Linney’s acting in just about anything. (And rekindled my crush on Mark — the scene of him soaking in the bath!) – Started watching “The Lowdown” on Hulu with Ethan Hawke with my husband and we’re loving it a few episodes in. Darkly funny.
Wow, I watched You Can Count on Me and The Lowdown over the holiday weekend, too! It was my first time to watch You Can Count on Me, and I loved it. (Thank you, Criterion Channel.) And I’m in Tulsa, so The Lowdown was extra fun to watch.
Love this idea and love reading how everyone’s weekend went. We had canceled Thanksgiving plans (I’m at the age where this is incredibly exciting) due to lake effect snow in Buffalo. So no awkward and strained and cramped and judgmental holiday at the in-laws. Still need to make this visit up so really just kicking the can down the road. We spent a cozy weekend watching football, brewery-hopping, reading, waiting for my sister’s second baby to arrive, and playing with our 10 year old German Shepherd who is all playful puppy on the inside. We made dal, and a Smitten Kitchen baked pasta, and went out for the best burgers in Columbus (Street Thyme food truck) but I was craving a leftover turkey sandwich so badly we ended up doing a Thanksgiving dinner for two on Monday night. The holidays are so fraught as an adult, I’ve enjoyed reading here and experiencing how modified traditions and changed plans can be filled with their own kind of magic.
Oh I loved hearing how much you enjoyed your unexpected holiday “off”! We lived away from family for many many years and refused to travel during the madness of the weekend and we leaned how to have amazing Thanksgiving weekends just the two of us. My husband travels constantly so we use the weekend to cook whatever we feel like (or last snack!), binge watch shows, go for walks, and wear pjs all weekend. Now that I am in my “I’m free! 50s”, I want more freedom to spend my precious few holidays as I please. This year we are skipping Christmas and traveling to the UK for 2 weeks! We leave on Christmas Day—so sorry! Family drama reached new levels for each of us over the past 5 years. I am DONE with that baloney. Eldest daughter here finally got some therapy to help me break free from the chains of my dysfunctional family. Wish I had done it years ago!
Went to a holiday Dark Market with my daughter. Fun ! Finished the 8 episode limited series All Her Fault on Sunday while my husband was at work. It’s good ! The little boy in it is such a good actor. I was amazed . Read Wreck by Catherine Newman in 2 sittings. I laughed out loud at parts. Ate pumpkin pie and pecan pie both with 5 inch towers of redi whip. Spent time in the kitchen with my dear son-in-law. Spending time with these lovelies is why I moved 3000 miles away from East Coast Pizza. :) Thanks to all for these fun recaps.
I loved the Monday updates, and living in Brazil, we don’t have the tradition of Thanksgiving, so it’s really nice to experience it through you.
Yess Monday updates & Janey beauty uniform!!! My weekend was so lovely – our first Thanksgiving with our 8-month-old baby and we kept it cozy at home with just the 3 of us (babe + husband) and our dogs. I made apple cider muffins in the morning and we did a lasagna from scratch for dinner. Wasn’t sure if the little one would let us make a complicated dish but we kept him entertained by popping out from behind the kitchen island and yelling SURPRISE every few minutes. Baby giggles are the best soundtrack to making dinner :)
*Yes to a Beauty Post from your aunt! * Yes to Monday updates! * I recommend following @coffeecakescafe on Instagram…I followed her for a long time because I loved her artwork. Well…she published a book of that work called Dear New York I Love You. It has been very well received and she has published prints that are being sold. I just wanted to let others know about her lovely drawings…I have her print of John Derian’s store hanging on my wall! *. Your gallery wall is great but it is making me want to come to Brooklyn to straighten them! I am almost running to the car!
LOVE this post, more Monday updates!
Yes, yes, yes for a beauty uniform from your aunt Janey. I like so, so much all your posts about your English roots and family! They are so sweet!
Another vote for a Janey post!
I have watched The Holdovers and cannot remember to have seen such a wholesome movie in….ages really. The story sets during Christmas, so we can say its a new Christmas movie! :-)
I loved The Holdovers also !
I love weekend recap posts, they are my favourites. I had a lovely weekend! Managed to get a lot of housework done which does not sound exciting but I was so pleased to get it done. My daughter played her first game of Rugby with her new team which was fab to watch and I caught up with friends who were over from Australia. Listened to my favourite Religious Christmas Songs since it was the first Sunday of Advent, hung up my daughters Advent Calendar and watched Home Alone. Was just lovely :) Loving reading what everyone has got up to. This should be a regular post :)
Loved this post. As you wrote it feels interesting to join another family and it’s almost as we joined yours this time! Seeing you and your dad together is a tender thing as I’m coming up to the second Christmas without my dad, so it’s bittersweet, but I like to think he would have helped me with my tires in the same way (that sounds so much as a dad thing to do!). I’m on a trip to Japan and my weekend was full of beautiful foliage and delicious food, can’t really tell the difference between weekends and weekdays on a trip :) have a good week everyone.
5 hour road trip Thanksgiving Day to spend with my parents and siblings. We stayed at a darling Airbnb in Albany, OR. Husband and the kids had to return to work the next day, so I enjoyed 2 days with my parents and sister…dinners, Wicked 2, shopping . But I especially enjoyed my alone time! Had the whole Airbnb to myself and enjoyed 2 Diane Keaton movies, morning walks in the hostoric district, grabbing coffee and scones at a neighborhood coffee place that also conveniently was having a mini artisans market…..coffee, scones, and hand made wares…3 of my favorite things! Loved the time with family, as my parents are aging, but savored my alone time too!
I discovered sling scapes over the weekend, and I can’t stop watching! Anyone else watching them?
mixed feelings about substituting actual nature for ai nature…I’m deciding it’s ok in a pinch, like if I’m having a panic attack and it’s attached to the biurnal beats relaxation video – ok fine. But I try to bookmark the drone nature videos instead so my brain stays wired for truth instead of acclimatizing to ai. And I try to get into actual nature more and more. These ai “nature” scenes are making me crave actual nature the way a baby monkey wants it’s mommy instead of a wireform substitute…
I enjoy watching them. They are very calming and bring a warm atmosphere to the house!
Oh my – the grandparents, riveted by the magic trick. I think grandparents understand the James Baldwin quote better than most: “The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe …”
Last year my husband was deep in a terrible addiction this time of year. He is now clean and we are meandering towards separation and probably divorce, because that was all (and continues to be) a lot. But we are also getting along better and co parenting better than we have in years. So, though my marriage is super sad and complicated, my kids are doing better and I have a co parent and I don’t feel.panicked constantly. So, about my weekend – my mil being self centered and defensive, my toddler being an (age appropriate) sociopath, etc all just feels a lot lighter. And I’m grateful for that. Also did so much online shopping and found a new kids show that Has been good family viewing. A good weekend all told. Life is messy but also good. Really enjoyed this post!
That’s a lot, Anon. One thing I’ve learned is the person in addiction doesn’t always remember much of what went down, but the loved ones definitely do. It’s trauma. You sound like a considerate person and thoughtful mama. Sending you thoughts of strength and peace, especially during this hectic season.
Anon and Diana – appreciate you both. I’ll be traveling to see my parents tomorrow. One’s been a high-functioning alcoholic his whole adult life – he recognizes this – and the other is newer to the habit, but possesses no moderation or self-awareness. It’s rough and I often feel bad about it, but therapy helps! While I have a lot of empathy for the reasons behind addiction, of course I know we can only take on so much of the load ourselves, right? Anon, I’m so glad your husband is headed in the right direction. My own parents were able to do their jobs much better separately than together, so I feel like your kids really can’t lose here. I’m proud of us. :) Folks who’ve seen addiction up close are a sturdy lot.
Oh Anon, I felt every word in your comment. This Friday I will wake up officially divorced from my addict husband. It is bittersweet, as I did not get married with getting a divorce in mind. And yet, self-preservation and happiness became more important than staying in something that was the source of so much trauma. The panicked years are (hopefully) behind me. He is now sober, stable, and we are good friends. That’s how I’m choosing to view our next chapter – our friendship era post-marriage era. I wish you much happiness on the road ahead.
We took my baby grandson and his mama and our new puppy Mo and his bff, our girl Nora, to get our Xmas tree. It was cold and so beautiful with the sun shining through the trees and the sparkling snow. We found what might be our worst Charlie Brown xmas tree ever (that the puppy has already chewed on), and drank cocoa and ate cookies. And I thought a lot about our sweet pups who passed on this year, and their last hike to find a tree last year, and how much i miss them and that time just matches on, whether we are happy or sad or happen to even notice it passing. Trying hard not to let the sweet moments pass without noticing. Happy December to everyone. I hope you are warm and have plenty of light in your life.
So, friends in the comments may recall my saga, but the relevant info here is that last Thanksgiving, I had a two week old baby (who had arrived three weeks early, to boot), so we made a (fantastic) vegetarian shepherd’s pie and called it good. Which means that this year was not only the first “real” Thanksgiving with our son, but it was also the first big holiday where we actually had to navigate having lost both of our moms in the months before our son was born. So these first few Novembers are so delicate: celebrating him, missing our moms, knowing we are unburdened from the difficult dynamics of each of our moms but of course not finding that to be a decent consolation prize in the face of them not getting to hold this beautiful baby, excuse me, toddler. We went to some extended-extended family. It was overall nice, but also a little weird. I could imagine this plan solidifying into a tradition, but parts of it didn’t feel quite right as our New Forever Thanksgiving plan.
Love this and yes please to Janey’s beauty uniform! This weekend was nice—I’m in the early (8 weeks) stage of pregnancy (after three losses post-my daughter who is now 10) and feeling nauseous and anxious. I’m divorced and remarried and my daughter was with her dad and his family for the holiday so we had done an earlier big Thanksgiving meal on the previous Sunday. On the actual day my brother and sister who are local came over to spend the day with my husband and I and it was so nice—the most low key Thanksgiving I’ve had in years. We went for a morning hike and then had cheeses and snacks and played bananagrams and cooked a slightly more low key meal—turkey, Gruyère potatoes, shaved & cheesy Brussels sprouts, and for dessert I made a chocolate French silk pie with a very decadent Oreo crust, homemade whipped cream, and Straus vanilla ice cream. Friday was a day of rest, and on Saturday my brother came back over to put Xmas lights on the house with my brother and we made tamales from scratch! Sunday was another day of rest (important in the first trimester and always really.) I was grateful for the bit of business to occupy my worried mind. Tomorrow is my first prenatal appointment. *fingers crossed* Grateful always for this community.
Dear Christa, I hope you are getting wonderful news today! I had to comment because I too have a 10 yrs old from a previous marriage, and we tried several years for a baby with my new husband. After two losses, I could not go on anymore and we called it quits. We are now enjoying our little family but I wish you the best of luck and that you will hold your baby in your arms in a few months!!!
Thinking of you, Christa! I hope you get good news.
Thinking of you and your pregnancy! Hoping for good news at the OB appt. My partner has a now 12-year old from his first marriage, and we had a baby girl this past January. The age difference has been SO fun and the 12-year old is just absolutely tickled by the baby and also great at helping and playing with her. Stay well rested xx
Hi Jo! Thanks for the Monday update and sorry for the recent ups and downs. To answer your question about Janey – 100% would love a post about her. Weekend was a little rough as Ingot sick on Wednesday, so traditional Thanksgiving shenanigans didn’t happen. But mustered enough energy to get our tree and house decorated for Christmas. Have a great week!
I went to see the pantomime! At the winter garden, which is this fabulous old theatre in downtown Toronto with (fake) tree trunks instead of pillars and leaves covering the ceiling. It was Robin Hood this year and the bad guy was channeling Labyrinth-era Bowie and the dancers were very sassy (channeling Will Ferrell if he could really dance) and there were multiple instances of theatrical slo mo, K-pop demon hunters references and lots of audience participation. So fun.
I am very into these Monday weekend recaps! I hope you keep it up. Your time with your Dad sounded so special and muh needed. I did very little on actual Thanksgiving, but spent the rest of the weekend with friends enjoying a few of my NYC favorites – Central Park, the Met, Prospect Park, The Brooklyn Art Museum, good coffee and food. Pumpkin pie (pumpkin everything) should totally be normalized for year round consumption.
Love the idea of a Monday catchup! As one commenter stated, it makes you seem so “real”, haha. Could this be a regular feature, like your Friday round up posts? I would also LOVE a beauty uniform for Janey please! My Thanksgiving weekend was perfectly fine. The holiday was spent at my uncle’s house, which always makes me very thankful the holiday only happens once per year. Dry turkey, meh sides, slightly insufferable relatives, the usual. BUT most of my relatives are getting older, so while I’m thrilled the day is over it was nice to be able to spend time with extended family I don’t see often. But on the bright side, I had 5 days off work to enjoy the holiday (granted by the governor) which was great. This allowed me to leisurely make my Thanksgiving dessert on Wednesday, decorate for Christmas on Friday, visit a local artshow and lovely local restaurant on Saturday, and veg on Sunday as I did my usual chores. The ratio of a 2 day workweek to a 5 day weekend was awesome!
LOVE weekend update so much! Thank you Joanna.
Old Lady here … without a clue. Would someone ELI5 the monogrammed L.L.Bean bag? Thanks!
Another Old Lady here (I had to google what ELI5 means), but I read VAG as vagina. In trying to explain it I don’t know why that’s inherently funny, but it made me laugh nonetheless.
Hi Kate! I think you’re asking that someone explain the monogram on the bag? If so, prepare yourself as it’s a bit crass, but trust me, crass is hilarious. The monogram isn’t actually initials. In fact, it’s the letters “vag” which is slang for vagina. Can you imagine!? I hope that it gave you a giggle because it really is funny!
The monogram looks like it says “vag” which is short for “vagina”. Hope that helps!
Love the update! My highs were seeing my friends’ 10 month old who was smiley and giggly, deep late night conversations with other (child-free) friends and a good Pilates class. My low was a big fight with my partner – I’m 7 months pregnant and raised that he hadn’t been pulling his weight with logistical prep (eg buying baby items, researching childcare), even though he’s been very caring and supportive of me (eg coming to appointments, picking up more chores around the house etc). I’m a bit worried about his mental health when the baby comes as I feel like he’s somewhat in denial at just how big this change will be, hence avoiding baby-related discussions and activities. I’m finding it hard to navigate the balance with him, particularly knowing I’m also hormonal, nervous and more sensitive than usual as a result. Sigh. Welcome any advice / similar experiences :)
Totally relate. I think things often don’t get as real for the spouse til baby is in the arms. Pregnancy can feel lonely. My advice is talk about it! And talk about division of labor. Now is easier than when you’re sleep deprived with a newborn. And if nursing is in the cards, it is time intensive. I love this thought provoking piece by one of my favorite writers. Read all the way to the worksheet https://mollywizenberg.substack.com/p/i-did-not-expect-to-have-this-story
Jane, you are not alone! Pregnancy was TOUGH for me, and one of the things I struggled with the most was doing so much of the “invisible” work. Not just, you know, actually growing the baby, but mentally preparing for his/her arrival. I agree with Esss; I think for the non-pregnant partner, it just doesn’t feel as real until the baby is actually there. And that’s so hard for the pregnant person. But what helped me was writing out a big list of all the things I was doing or even just thinking about and sharing that with my husband. It helped him visually see that mental load I was carrying, and even just that made me feel better. Definitely talk about how you want to divide things up now before the baby comes — will you be nursing? How can your partner support you while you’re doing this? Do you want to try pumping/formula? Who will prepare the bottles? Who will wake up at night? Who will change nighttime diapers? etc. But, most importantly, know and be open to all of these things being fluid!! It’s so hard to know what it’s really going to be like until you’re in it, it’s good to know that your plan for sharing the load will probably change again and again and again. And most of all, you got this and you’re doing great.
He needs to go to a men’s baby prep group, do these not exist? Like, where ever your baby prep group meets there should be one for men? This kind of thing is why I chose not to have children, honestly. Men really need to step up.
Sigh..: my sister went through something similar with her husband. All I can say is I highly and strongly recommended the do some couples counseling (I am a therapist) before the kiddos arrived (they didn’t, and I still wish they had. It’s been a struggle—like beyond what any of us could have predicted. And strangely, this was a major issue with two of her best friends- clueless and unhelpful husbands. This was especially trying for my sister (and me to witness)because our father was a 1,000% dad to us in our childhoods. I suppose he set the bar too high for my BIL. Just don’t expect it to get better. The problems that are in place now can potentially exacerbate once the massive responsibilities of parenting arrive (and sleep deprivation). Occasionally men will surprise us and step up once the little humans arrive. But early intervention-oops! I mean, therapy might help bridge the communication voids and alleviate some of your worries sooner. Good luck.
Here I am – a little late to the game. I was home alone for 10 days! The longest ever. On Thursday I worked at a free community dinner that served about 1000 people. I had such a great time connecting with new people! Then I was on the couch with a serious headache the rest of the weekend. It wasn’t fun, but not unfamiliar. I binge watched and napped and by Sunday was feeling better. I love reading about everyone’s experiences. Thanks for sharing.
More of this! I love these kinds of posts, especially this year, which has felt difficult in many ways for a lot of people.
I got benign results back from a breast biopsy and spent the weekend feeling great relief and tremendous thanksgiving. PSA: Get your mammograms!! Also, if you have dense breasts be sure to ask if additional ultrasound/MRI might be needed because it can be hard to see just with mammogram. Get checked!!! Even if you’re under 40, good to also do one of the breast cancer risk tests to see if you need to get screened earlier.
Congrats, A A! That’s a great reminder. My friend and I – ages 39 and 42 – were just, like, should we get our first tests? Could we book them back-to-back and go together? It doesn’t look like fun, but peace of mind is in invaluable, right?
So happy for you, AA!
This is wildly off topic but I’m not sure where else to post. I’m planning a trip in early April for a week to New York with my husband, teenage son, and dad. I’ve gone to New York with my dad in the past but have always had friends or relatives to stay with. That’s not an option this time so I’m starting to look into places to stay. Anyone have recs for great Airbnbs or hotels? I’m leaning Airbnb just for ease of lounging all together in the evenings but I could also see us doing a hotel and getting two rooms. Any and all suggestions welcome.
Airbnbs are illegal in NYC. They displace actual tenants in a city that needs more housing. I would look for an aparthotel. Or stay in Jersey City at an airbnb and take the PATH train in.
Thanks Andrea! Not attached to an Airbnb, just kindly asking for suggestions. I don’t live in New York so just feeling out options that work for a group that needs multiple rooms.
We used to stay at the Casablanca near Times Square BECAUSE it is. Completely soundproofed building! I had stayed in “regular” hotels there before and didn’t sleep a wink because, well.. I discovered the Casablanca somehow and let me tell you, I didn’t hear a peep from even the hallway! It’s nice, even has some apartments so it feels boutique-y. It’s around the corner from TS, and it has a comfy feel, as opposed to typical hotels. I would definitely stay there again on my next visit.
Would love a beauty uniform from Janey!! I’ve noticed her fab style and hairdo in your England posts!
Whoever suggested this, I want to give her a big hug. I love this so much. Thanksgiving was a whirlwind but in a great way. Spending time with family and friends is so different as you get older. You don’t take things for granted and you also have boundaries in place, as an adult you can make healthy decisions for yourself but also indulge to your heart’s delight. I got hang out with friends and rides bikes while plotting our next adventures. It’s always so nice to have a long weekend to remind yourself that the world is still a great place.
My mother-in-law lives above my garage and invited a group of friends and family over for Thanksgiving. She didn’t invite me, her son or her grandchildren so my husband and I spent the day downplaying the ackwardness of it for our girls. For the record— It was weird!!
That is so weird!
Is you MIL a bit nutsy, or was this a Friendsgiving? Seems like if she lives on your property, you must have a good relationship? Or did she think the invitation was implied? LOL not sure why, but I am so intrigued. It’s like a mystery. But, you aren’t alone – cheers to weird families (or maybe just mothers). xx
Ok yeah, with you on that Emily. I can understand Friendsgiving on a different day but on Thanksgiving and essentially at your home? Even a small mention ahead of time would have appropriate. Sorry you had to deal with that
Ooof, I’m sorry, Emily. That is weird. You sound like you’re trying your best to balance the awkward arrangement!
I’m in the “I have a weird MIL” club also. I now do my own thing. I’m happier for sure.
1. Please do this always – every Monday. 2. I actually DO eat pumpkin pie year around. Highly recommend. 3. Nikki McClure is someone who i have followed for years, and years and years. i always buy her calendar and last year i splured on a wood cut from the previous years calendar – Pro tip – she sells the originals when the calendars are done. Spendy, but worth it. 4. Anyway…please do this always, every Monday – I loved it. Thank you xxxx
I love Nikki’s stuff too. I have every one of her books and have also given them as gifts many times to kids and adults. I buy a lot of her cards too. Neat to send, frame, or just tape to the wall bare back ! :) The interview / video done with her by local PBS was really beautiful to see.
I listened to audiobooks over ~24 hours of driving spread across the week. James, which was PHENOMENAL as an auditory experience, and Be Ready When the Luck Happens (Ina Garten’s memoir), which was every bit as delightful and earthy as you’d expect. Love the Monday check-in and so delighted to hear that you got some quality time with your Dad and Freddie!
Definite yes to a beauty uniform from Janey! I’m in Germany so no Thanksgiving but it was a lovely weekend – my oldest daughter visited and we watched a bunch of movies and went to our town’s little Christmas market. We aren’t home for Christmas this year so next week already I’ll be hosting Christmas dinner (we’re calling it Nikolaus dinner) for my in-laws. Anyone have ideas for a non-fussy main dish for vegetarians?
Ohh hi fellow German! For non-fuss main, maybe a quiche? Works for all veggies and the oven does most of the work :)
Hi Nathalie! You could try this nut roast https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/nut-loaf …but if too fussy maybe this (which you can prep or make ahead): https://www.nigella.com/recipes/pumpkin-and-goat-s-cheese-lasagne Greetings from Berlin!
Thank you for the suggestions! Quiche is a great idea and I’ve added that lasagne to my recipes, I’ve never made pumpkin lasagne, sounds so good. Gruß aus Taunus!
Ok Joanna, what kind of voodoo magic is in your gene pool? All the women in your family look amazing! I would love another beauty uniform!
I like this post as a regular rhythm to bring in!
I got what I wanted and had the crew watching the Macy’s Parade while I used puffy pastry to make basic apple pie bites and sausage rolls, and then we did a seasonal puzzle. I was eager to see Jonathan Goff do his Broadway song and my elementary boys were jazzed to see K-Pop Demon Hunters perform (I do wish their outfits had contrasted more – the black was so dark among the back-up dancers). And Jewel? And Shaggy? The surprises kept coming!
I genuinely laughed out loud seeing Shaggy on the Jennie-O turkey float!
Where are those gorgeous boots from?
I’ll try to track down whose they were!
I love these Monday updates! On average, we had a pretty good long weekend (for a family with two small boys). BUT last week my husband broke his right foot (HIS DRIVING FOOT) and that has made our life really tough logistically. Practically, it means that all physical tasks have fallen to me (all driving, kid pick up/drop-offs etc). Also, as an added bonus, we live in Minneapolis and have navigated two back to back snowstorms during this first week of his broken foot. Anyway, that by Saturday evening, I had already shoveled our front and back sidewalk and alley parking pad 3x, and twice on that same day. My 4.5yo son had been out “helping” me much of the day and he opened our backdoor and excitedly yelled, “Mama, you can’t even see our path anymore!”. I looked out and sure enough, the snow had covered all the shoveling I had down that day. I gave a big sigh and went back to cooking dinner. When I looked back at my son, I saw that he was putting on all of his snow stuff. I asked him why and he said, “I’m going to go shovel, Mama, so you don’t have to do it again.” And out he went in his little snow pants and jacket and did such a good job. You guys, MY HEART. What a thing to be seen by your children. I swear my heart grew three sizes.
My partner tore his Achilles last weekend. Also his driving foot! I feel you so much with this post and I’m sending you good vibes. It also makes me feel less alone. The caretaker roles isn’t easy! Onward to the spring! :)
Omg I am just crying! So sweet!
Oh, Emma! That is the loveliest story! Thank you for sharing. (And for those who fear the teenage years, mine regularly says — in all seriousness – “you’ve got this, Mom. You’re awesome.”)
Emma, that sounds like a tough situation! if you want a hand with shoveling or errands, I’m in Minneapolis as well and very happy to help my neighbors! My anon Gmail handle is caatamaraa (not typing it out so I don’t get spam!), feel free to send me a note there and I’ll give you my number.
AWWW! That is so wonderful. My second grader is like that – seeing them decide to help without prompting seriously makes me tear up. You’re raising a great human!
I am just so grateful for this community – it’s so nice to be able to celebrate small wins with others who really get it. Anon- you’ve got this! You aren’t alone! And Cath – what a generous offer. We are lucky to have family in the area so we are making it work but would always love to connect with fellow Cup of Jo readers in the area! I’ll send a note.
Joanna you are such a glimmer! My weekend had some ups and downs also. With grown children, aging parents, and basically entering another season with things shifting and changing as they do. Ah well, life. Would love a beauty uniform from your aunt…you have a family chock full of cuties!
Oh yes -a beauty uniform from Janey!
Well, my Thanksgiving was a bit of an adventure. We hosted dinner at our house – just my mom and in-laws who are all very easy going and don’t need much fuss. When I volunteered to do this it was weeks away and I figured “it’ll all work out” even though my executive functioning around both cooking and planning are big weaknesses for me. Then – suddenly – it was the night before and my husband asked, hey, how long does it take to defrost a turkey. And, turns out? Four days!! I guess everyone else just knows this. We had to give the turkey lots of immersive salty baths which the kids and I thought was funny because we had just watched an episode of Stranger Things Season One where they put Eleven in a pool of salty water. We had to work quickly because the turkey had an appointment the following morning at 11 am with a team of guys down by the river who set up a bunch of deep fryers and will deep fry your turkey for you for $20. But, it turns out if you deep fry a frozen turkey it will explode! Which the kids and I also thought was funny but my husband did not anything about any of this was funny. C’mon! We’re sending the turkey to the Upside Down! Also, my dude, there are real problems – the big ones in the world and the little ones in our own home. Also I wanted for the kids to see us rolling with it and improvising and recognizing the limits of our influence and control and so, well, that was a bit of a letdown to see my husband get so stressed about it. But it was also a signal to me that maybe the big and little real problems are getting to him and he needs an outlet. So: the next morning I took the turkey to the river and told my husband he should grab some down time and relax. The old men down by the river in their greasy aprons and big work gloves put their heads together like a team of surgeons (if a team of surgeons had been drinking cheap beer since 8 am) and came up with a plan for my, as one man put it, “frozen as f— turkey.” They were really nice about they were just having a great time together I could tell. Older people laughing together just as delightful as baby laughs. When they asked what seasonings I wanted to add I said, “Chef’s choice.” In this case the chef was a very buzzed fellow who would probably always rather be fishing so the seasonings were Old Bay and Old Bay. Everything turned out fine. Other than some big kid emotions in the afternoon it was a good day. We all watched Freakier Friday together and everyone laughed a lot. Recommend! One of the fryer men lives down the street from me and now calls me “Frozen Turkey Lady” when I see him out walking his dog, and I’m great with it. Like Nora Ephron taught us, Everything is copy.
This was hilarious!!
You are a great story teller!
Laughed out loud at this one! Especially about the “frozen as f—- turkey!” Way to keep your cool and figure it out. Great story
I love that your town has old guys at the river frying turkeys ! WOW. So cool. Your kids will never forget these times. Awesome. And kudos to you for rolling with it and making it an adventure. And now you’re Frozen Turkey Lady !! :)
The turkey in the upside down 😂 thank you for this weekend update!
I love this
Your copy was great Kristi X
Heather, this is an Ephron-worthy essay waiting to be published! Please tell me you write somewhere. I’d love to read more! As a fellow Stranger Things mom, you had me laughing about sending the turkey to the upside down, my dude.
10/10 story and telling
Love this story, and the grace with which you dealt with the situation and sent your husband out for some time to relax!
Love! A holiday your kids will always remember. And a Mom who they will always look up to for having such a great spirit! They’re so lucky!
I love this weekend update! My focus for Thanksgiving was making the recipes my mom used to make (she passed away a year and a half ago): cranberry chutney, cream cheese nut roll (a Polish treat enjoyed for breakfast), homemade Chex Mix, and warm cinnamon apples for breakfast. It was such a balm but also made me miss her so much! I wrote about her Thanksgiving recipes for a November issue of Cooking Light magazine (RIP) many years ago and they sent out a photog to take pictures of the two of us, so I got out that old issue and paged through it with so much love for her. I also made my first pecan pie — holy moly pecan pie is basically a candy bar in pie form!
All of your mom’s old recipes sound perfect. What a wonderful way to keep her love there with you.
I was home visiting my parents and brought my teenage daughter so I watched everyone scroll on their phones while I did puzzles, made Christmas bracelets and baked. My mother was listless and moody and told her granddaughter that Thanksgiving leftovers were for her and my dad to enjoy Friday evening for dinner (after we flew home) so she wasn’t allowed to have that extra turkey sandwich around midnight. Imagine telling your granddaughter hands off the food? I dutifully fly home (solo since my husband opts out of the torture) but it’s more for my daughter to see other family members while I hold onto my sanity with two tightly clutched fists. Once home, I slept for ten hours and loafed around all weekend without judgment and I just felt the wonder that I really love my life and can do anything I want and I grew up and made it out of that heavy, depressing environment. It was some serious post Thanksgiving gratitude.
Woof, I feel this Cheryl. It is hard when the holidays are not fun– especially when you have to travel back to family that aren’t easy to be around. I’m glad you got a long weekend of loafing and I’m glad you created a life you love <3
You’re too kind Julia. Happy holidays to you!
Whew. I feel this too Cheryl! Hopefully you will soon be in your “I’m Free! 50s, like me, and you can reclaim your holidays sans annoying in-laws/family members. We fly solo now for holidays. It’s amazing. If my husband gives me any lip about the holidays and his family blah, blah, blah, I tell him to have a great time with them and I will enjoy my precious few holidays on my own terms. I’ve had it with dealing with annoying family members at holidays. I’d rather spend them solo than with people I’d never choose to be friends with if we weren’t related.
Our sweet dog, Ruby, had a seizure the day after Thanksgiving and we had to put her down. She was 13 and my little “pumpkin”. We have all been so sad. I keep thinking this random thought that there must have been a little puppy on his way to heaven that needed a mommy to take care of him. God just saw little Ruby at the end of her life and thought I choose her to be his mommy. I hope this is true.
Oh no! This is how we ended up having to put our dog down too and it is awful. I am so, so sorry. I saw a drawing recently about a dog talking to her human and at the end of her life and she tells her human, “Thanks for everything, I had a wonderful time.” It was such a balm, but also I sobbed my eyes out.
Oh Jill, what a thing to lose them. It sounds like Ruby was so loved, which I’m sure she reciprocated ten fold. They always do. I know that Ruby is mommy-ing that puppy in the sweetest way. Sending you many wishes of comfort during this time. <3
Oh I am so very sorry for your loss of your sweetheart, Ruby! I read a beautiful quote: “I hope love lands gently in your broken heart”. Take good care of yourself as you grief this loss. I know what that feels like.
I’m so sorry for your loss of Ruby.
So sorry Jill. . FWIW I think you’re right about Ruby. Even though we never met, I know she was the goodest girl. Take care.
I’m so sorry, Jill, with the loss of your Ruby. A very hard time to have a fresh hole in your heart.
I’m so very sorry for your loss of Ruby. I hope she found the bestest puppy to take care of on her way over the rainbow bridge.
So sorry, Jill. I’ve been there twice and I expect my 18 year old rescue doesn’t have much longer. It’s always bizarre and awful when a being who has been present in your life is here one moment and literally not, in the next. Just awful. I suspect you created a wonderful life full of love for your girl. Focus on that, and know that so many of us here are with you in spirit.
It’s a hard season. My mom died around this time a few years ago and my family doesn’t really gather anymore. And a couple of my siblings are experiencing some very serious health concerns, one with a reasonable prognosis and one with potentially a more dire outcome. I was able to rest and meet up with friends and have the best pumpkin pie I’ve ever had in my life. So a mixed weekend in the middle of a hard time. I do love John Derian stuff and got his sticker book this weekend.