Gift Guide #8: Your Girlfriend (or Wife) Who Puts Her Hands in Your Coat Pockets and Loves You to the Moon.
A big comfy sweater in a cool color, $150, plus a ribbed tee or reversible beanie. (Get up to 40% off — including on cashmere.)
Green Goddess candle that’s refreshing, original, and radiant, just like her — with notes of freshly picked basil, mint, and rosemary. $51. (Get 20% off almost everything right now.)
A pasta letter or emblem charm — like wisdom, love, or courage — for her to wear close to her heart. From $102. (The entire store is 20% off or more.)
A book she’ll absolutely devour during the holiday break, $26. (It’s so smart and compelling!)
Plus, a bookmark to make her laugh, $6. There are so many good ones.
Ice cream in her favorite flavor, like coffee with sugar and cream, coffee crunch, or affogato. From $11.
A little beauty treat, like lip butter, a brow upgrade, or a sexy surprise. From $16.
Pointelle underwear, $85 for three. (Also love these $35 muslin pajamas.)
An address stamp, $27, for her correspondence. This cat one is cute, too!
Tickets to see a play, like Two Strangers, which, when Freddie and I walked out, we kept saying was “invigorating,” “life-affirming,” “joyful,” and “a love letter to NYC.”
A love note, $8.50, and a kiss. xo
P.S. The 2024 gift guide for wives, the 2023 gift guide for wives, and the 2022 gift guide for wives.
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Tags: 2025 holiday gift guide, gift guides, gifts, gifts for, gifts for women
Comments
79 commentsI would love another (9th?) gift guide that would be something like ‘Your neighbors who act like surrogate grandparents, and take your trash bin in from the street without asking.” People like Jenny and others could contribute their favorite recipes for homemade gifts or basic crafts.
Cup of Jo, thank you for all of these fine ideas! P.S. I would love to see a post of stocking stuffer ideas – smart/useful/fun things that are $15 and under. I am always racking my brain for ideas and I feel sure the CoJ hivemind has many!
***Colorful Dixon Ticonderogas, laser etched with your kids’ (or etc.) names, inside jokes, or etc. via your local library’s maker lab! The services are usually free; you just provide the item! My local one also features sewing and embroidery machines and a 3D printer. Just found out about this service and did the pencils myself this week; going back with sweatshirts, mugs, glasses, thermoses, you name it, in the future! ***Electric toothbrushes? Because my kids are obsessed with the idea. ***A compass. :) ***Fun washi tape of their own. ***A chocolate orange. ***An inexpensive ornament that relates to a memory made over the year. ***Books. You can’t go wrong with a book! A chocolate orange for the win.
***P.S. The electronic light-up flying ball thing–it’s very fun and you can order a version from Walmart for $12. My kids gave my husb. one last year and it was a blast (till it disappeared over a fence, but still). Every non-immediate family member who comes to our gathering and is usually tough to buy for is getting one this year. Done, and fun! :)
CoJ hivemind, please help! I am struggling to find an appropriate gift for my brother and sister-in-law. They live in a different country than me, so usually something that can either be shipped to them locally, or a gift card/experience type gift works best. They have a 3 year old, and another baby on the way very very soon. He is a lawyer who works far too hard, buys all his clothes at once (because if it fits, why not get it in every colour), and is a very very closeted nerd but will never let you see. She is a stay at home mom who is brilliantly smart and has the best taste, and loves pop culture to plan cute activities for her family. Any great gift ideas for them (either as individuals or as a couple)? Please help!
A gift card to a nice restaurant near them and arrange for a sitter!
Create an at home themed experience for after the baby arrives – have a meal delivered, create a playlist to set the tone for the evening, pick a movie to go along with the theme and pay for them to stream if necessary, maybe add a flower delivery or dessert as well.
Oh wait! I see the discount now! Never mind!
Unfortunately, that sweater is $250, not $150. Sigh.
I don’t know if most women would rather buy their own underwear, but I need to throw in a suggestion for the petites you may have in your lives! I have a very short and narrow torso, but I’m not super thin – think 4’11” and 109lbs. The reigning popularity of high waisted, French cut underwear does not suit my body type whatsoever. After much trial and error, I found a style I love – the fit, the price, the comfort and how it holds up with washing – Old Navy girl’s hipsters. https://oldnavy.gapcanada.ca/browse/product.do?pid=807441003&vid=1&searchText=underwear#pdp-page-content I find it can be tough to find petite appropriate staples, so I had to share!
The gift that is supposed to be a nail upgrade links to tweezers. Is that correct? Thanks! And happy Thanksgiving!
Oh sorry! I meant to write brow!
Question for the CoJ hivemind. My husband and I have spend a fortune on IVF this year, but we haven’t told anyone. We’re broke, but expected to participate in the gift exchange on a shoestring budget without it being too obvious money is tight. Any ideas of thoughtful, low-cost gifts that recipients would appreciate?
Erika, sending you so much love and peace in your IVF journey. I think anything homemade would bring absolute delight to your loved one’s hearts. Thinking of that homemade chocolate sauce post a few back, which has lots of amazing additional ideas in the comments section. This includes, but is of course not limited to, my suggestion of these which I continue to STAN Debbie of Smitten Kitchen for: https://smittenkitchen.com/2012/10/apple-cider-caramels/ Some non-food ideas if you’re like, YIKES to a kitchen project, are painted taper candles (get in bulk from IKEA with a few fire safe paint pens), short stories or poems about the people/person it’s for, etc. It’s so rarely about the “stuff” of it all, and usually so much more about knowing a person was really holding you in their heart when they made/got/bought the gift for you. Best wishes, and all the love and good fortune for your journey.
Hi Erika, I think one thoughtful gift per person is often appreciated more than multiple items. A special photo of a shared time together in a cheap frame; a game or puzzle for a family to share; a new or thrifted book each; a jar filled with layers of cookie (or pancake)ingredients with the instructions tied on with a bow and a festive cookie cutter; a ball or yoyo for the kids…or simplify your shopping by buying everyone the same special chocolates or treat that were your own childhood favourites. Good luck, and best wishes for your big secret xx
Hey Erika – Of course I don’t know what your family spends, but gifts I’d love – one of the many cute bandannas, even a small gift certificate for a local bakery, florist, or coffee shop, darn tough or smart wool socks, something for my flower garden. Hope the list gets your wheel turning.
Homemade chocolate bark or granola or cookies in a glass jar with a beautiful ribbon? Time is money!
During a tight time, I recently gifted people a collection of our favorite grocery everyday treats like our favorite teas, hot cocoa, and chocolates. For us, these were Bigelow Whispering Wildflowers tea, Twinings Lady Grey, Swiss Miss hot chocolate (a nostalgic fave lol), Jet-Puffed Marshmallow bits or Dandies vegan mini marshmallows, and Tony’s Chocolonely Tiny Tony’s (individually wrapped milk chocolate bites.) People seemed to like it, not sure if they could tell I was feeling the financial squeeze or not lol Thinking of you! Hope you have a lovely holiday season and feel some relief soon❤️
Homemade food like cookies, jams, and hot sauce. You can crochet coaster sets on a budget. Propagate houseplants if you have them. I think the perfwct small gift is the sweet spot between generally inexpensive and outrageously expensive for what it is. I love Zum detergent for its wonderful scents but it’s a frivolous expense. Good sunglasses cases, glass nail files and plastic cast iron pan scrapers have felt like luxurious upgrades at points in my life but are not particularly expensive.
Do food gifts feel appropriate? If so, do you live near a place with good bagels? I worked at a Montreal style deli for years, and my goodness, the reaction I got when I gave them out to friends and family exceeds anything that I’d ever spent real money on. I still get former customers stopping me on the street to thank me.
Hi Erika! First of all, sending you love and good wishes on your IVF journey. Second, some gift things I’ve done in the past when on a tighter budget : homemade granola or a spiced nut mix in a cute jar, along with some thrifted dishware and a tea towel; print a nice photo of you with the gift recipient or someone else important to them and place in a thrifted frame. So I guess the theme I’m leaning into here is a mix of thrifted and homemade! Xx
Make granola! Classy and everyone loves it.
Home-baked goods, thrifted things, your own unwanted household things, plants. So long as things are in good condition I don’t subscribe to gifts having to be purchased.
Some gifts I have done that are budget friendly: -homemade granola -used books (library sales and used bookstores and Thriftbooks have all been great places. Gorgeous photography books for $7, novels for $2-$5, children’s books for $1) -6 pack of bottled beer dressed up as reindeer (using pipe cleaners and googly eyes) -framed photo (maybe you took a cute pic of a couple or you can grab a nice photo they’ve shared on social media. The thrift store has tons of frames and so many people don’t bother printing photos that they will feel touched to have a tangible memory) -a game or craft kit (like a deck of cards and printed rules for a unique game) -for kids you could do: flashlight, roll of tape with cardboard pieces for creating with, a box with 5 blown up balloons that each have a $1 bill inside), a stuffed animal you sanitized from the thrift store
I like homemade food gifts – time consuming to make but relatively cheap. I did cookie boxes one year, which were very well received. Maybe something themed? Like a set of funny shaped pasta and a jar of gourmet-ish sauce for a date night. I personally always love a book that’s been thoughtfully picked out for me! Also, sending you all the good, sticky vibes for IVF.
Erika, Hi from a fellow IVF mom! Here are a few things I’ve brought to gift exchanges in lean years. -Homemade cookie dough (shape into balls and freeze in little bags, write baking instructions on bag, tie with a ribbon), bonus: add a small container of flaky sea salt -A candle holder with a candle in it. You could also include a cute little pack of matches. This combo from IKEA is under $8. https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/fenomen-unscented-pillar-candle-natural-20528411/ and https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/bladfagel-candle-dish-green-70607043/ -Books are buy two, get one free at Target right now. If your family likes books, you could get each family a book and get a few free ones. Or you could go to a used book store to get books for everyone! -Homemade popcorn is super economical. Air pop some or make it on the stovetop. Add caramel, M&M’s, or drizzle with chocolate and put in little bags with ribbons. -If you are at all crafty, you could make felt ornaments for people. I have never done felt crafts, but I am making a letter ornament for each family! Felt is inexpensive, and it looks easy enough. Sending love and good luck with the IVF process. xo.
Here’s an idea: Baked treats for everyone – same kind – customized to whatever the greatest food concern is (sugar, dairy, gluten; etc) in nice boxes/containers that match. Plus something for each from the dollar store or church store if you’re Catholic – $2 budget per person. You can probably do it for $100 to $200 depending on size of the crowd. Best of luck on your treatments! And Happy Holidays!!!!!!!
Maybe go for a signature gift – so the sane thing for everyone to make your life easier and keep budget to a minimum . For example a book they’ll love (try second hand book stores) and a candle or pair of lovely fluffy socks. Or add a homemade edible treat if you have the time/energy (like the hot fudge recipe recently featured on CoJ). Wishing you luck on your journey and happy holidays.
One year I made a curated gift basket of all my favorite Trader Joes novelty treats for my dad. He loved it! Go thrifting and call it vintage!
Hi Erika! First of all, sending love to you as a fellow reader with fertility struggles of my own <3 Of course it depends on how high the budget is set ($50 versus $200 would be a big difference!) but some ideas that have been swirling in my head: – used books that look new plus a nice box of tea, a book light, and a teacup and saucer from a thrift or antique store, for a little “cozy reader” theme gift -second hand glassware (we just got a set of 5 beautiful etched cocktail glasses from a thrift store for $4 each!) plus a bottle of a favorite liquor, or a cookbook (can also be second hand!) -framed black and white photos of the family or whoever makes sense and a nice frame, again can be second hand or from somewhere like Home Goods. Can pair that with some taper candles and candle holders for a “mantle decor” themed set – always LOVE gifting ornaments, and of course those can range in price! And pair it with some sweets -but my favorite of all is anything homemade. Beats an expensive gift any day. So a crocheted blanket, homemade jams, knit scarf, embroidered anything. Those to me are soo special. Good luck and hope it’s fun!!
Hi Erika, I’m so sorry that IVF has done a number on your finances. My partner and I went through 4 rounds but also wanted to maintain our privacy! Please be gentle with yourself; if others perceive you as cash-strapped or somehow take offense at a different gifting bracket this year, that is truly their own issue to deal with. That being said, the custom address stamps in this gift guide seem thoughtful. And I’ve made breakfast kits in the past (think homemade granola, jam, everything seasoning, berries) that went over well. Keeping you and your husband in my heart. X
Sending lots of positive energy your way, Erika. IVF can be quite the investment- emotionally, physically and financially! Not sure who you need to buy for, but for foodies – a nice bottle of olive oil or a basket (places like value village or Salvation Army store often have baskets or tins etc) filled with little foodie gifts like olives, jams, pages, crackers etc. You could search around for things that look nice but aren’t necessarily super expensive- check out Asian/international food stores too for interesting/fun finds. Also lots of online print shops are offering discounts right now – you could make a family calendar for everyone on each side of the family, etc.
Wow, wow, wow!!! Thank you all!! You’ve brought me tears with your kindness and thoughtful suggestions. There are so many amazing ideas here and I really appreciate the reminder that it’s knowing the person and the heart that goes into the gift, more so than the cost. I feel so much lighter going into the holiday season. Sending love to all!!
Hi Erika- Sending you love as you continue in this journey. I agree with all the gift ideas below and also give you permission to not need to hand make items if it’s too overwhelming. Do you have a Costco near you? They have the most amazing throw blankets that cost $10 each! I got them for my team members at work and they LOVED THEM. It’s only been 2 years, but I think I’ll get them for them again! Much love!
Long-time lesbian reader piping in to say thank you so much for including a girlfriends/wives gift guide. I will never take inclusion in things as seemingly benign as a gift-guide, for granted. Inclusion matters in all the ways, and thank you CoJ for being such a welcoming and supportive community. To my fellow queers, especially those that feel even more othered/alone during holiday times: I love you! I am sending you joy! We deserve happiness too! Even when/if our families of origin disagree and have us question ourselves for decades, we really do deserve all the warmth and comforts of not betraying ourselves for others. Mwah! Happy Seasons! You are not alone!
love to you, Lauren! <3
Bisexual reader here – I will never forget my privilege in that my orientation has never been an issue to anyone in my life. May such peace find you all, my darlings. Maybe it’s time to get the FREE AUNTIE HUGS sign ready for the next pride parade. xo
Thanks for this comment Lauren. I enjoyed looking over this gift guide today —feeling so much joy as a girlfriend to a girlfriend this year, and felt into warm ease from inclusion with posts like these 💜
My wish this year: a new wardrobe a la Rose Byrne in Platonic. Every single time she came on the screen I said to my husband, “I love that outfit!” But seriously one thing I really want is like a cozy, oversized (?) cardigan I can use instead of a robe. I am not a robe person but I want something warm I can throw on over pajamas when I take the dogs out in the morning. I feel so frumpy these days in my joggers and sweatshirt, I want to elevate it. Any ideas??
Adidas track pants, a cute but oversized sweater, blazer, nice sneakers
Yes! Her wardrobe is great in that show.
The ones I’ve had aren’t necessarily the warmest, but I’ve found that vintage men’s Lacoste/Izod cardigans make great robe substitutes! The 60s through early 80s were a great period for men’s knits in general, I find.
Babaa has warm oversized cardigans. And their annual sale is happening on Black Friday.
Quince for sure!
I am a big believer in Nap Kits (chic pajamas + throw blanket + book + reading snack) and would assemble something like: Block shop PJs https://www.blockshoptextiles.com/collections/apparel/products/short-pajama-set-lilac A Cold Picnic blanket https://coldpicnic.com/collections/blankets/products/sparrows-knit-blanket The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2025 https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-best-american-science-fiction-and-fantasy-2025-nnedi-okoraforjohn-joseph-adams?variant=43878861111330 Smashing Pumpkins x Vosges Tonight, Tonight chocolate(!!) https://www.vosgeschocolate.com/products/smashing-pumpkins-tonight-tonight-chocolate-bar-2oz
Can we be friends, Lauren!?! What a cozy hug these ideas are!
Omg perfection.
Dang, other Lauren! These are nice picks! My ideal gift.
+1 on the Catbird jewelry rec – I’ve been wearing their jewelry for almost 15 years, and their pieces really stand the test of time.
I would die for that candle
Dear Joanna + readers, I need your help with a link: in this article https://cupofjo.com/2024/10/01/what-scents-do-you-like/ you recommend a scent “like she’d just stepped out of the shower”. I would love to gift such a scent to my mother, but the link is inactive.. Does anyone remember which scent it is?
Oh I remember! It’s the jones road one called Shower: https://www.jonesroadbeauty.com/products/fragrance-shower?country=US
Laughing at the omission of “because that’s all she really wants anyway”. Take note Freddie.
Hahahahaah I was just trying to mix it up!
I literally thought the same thing!
Dear readers, I have a question: I am looking for a perfume or scented body spray (?) that is very very light like a “coming out of the ocean-beachy”-vibe. My mother asked for this scent although she never asks for things. She was diagnosed with terminal oesophageal cancer last year (out of complete health – like ice-bathing, sporty, fun health) which is progressing rapidly. It is a more than difficult situation for me (I am her only confidant, at the same time her doctor, dog-sitter, mother of two children of whom ther 7-yr-old swears she loves my mother “as much as you, mama!” – even more difficult times ahead). Maybe one of you has an idea for a scent for her?
I’m so sorry, Nele. The vacation sent smells like sunscreen and beach so that might be a fit? Bobbi brown also has a fragrance called beach but I’ve never smelled it xoxo
I’m sorry your family is going through that. This could be a good option: https://champagnesocialist.com/products/the-saltwood-trail-wood-sage-sea-salt-dupe-perfume-oil
I am sending you a giant virtual (non creepy and only if you want it hug) Maybe try MAISON MARGIELA Replica Sailing Day Eau de Toilette? I have to go because I’m literally running out the door in a storm so this shorter than I Would like and written on my phone so prone to errors! But please know this note that other people want your non to get this gift too because it matters to her AND it matters to you. Sending you warmth and beachy vibes during this hard time!
Check out the Kai line of products, especially their Body Glow? The products are available from the company website as well as various retailers like Nordstrom. https://kaifragrance.com/collections/kai-signature
try the demeter scents! https://demeterfragrance.com/collections/water
I’m so sorry, Nele. For a beachy scent, I love the Maison Margiela ‘REPLICA’ Beach Walk.
Sending you love and strength from across the seas, Nele ❤️
That is so sad. I hope you’re able to catch a moment of peace for yourself here and there. I’m no expert on perfumes, but I’ve ordered from perfumeniche.com, and I’ve been so impressed with their descriptions and broad selection. I suspect Gwen, the owner, would have some great suggestions for you.
I am visiting NYC from Australia in May & have already booked a ticket for a Solo date to see 2 Strangers – cannot wait.
Yay! The vibe recs are back on COJ :)
A few years back my kiddo requested 36 Magnum ice creams on their Santa list…. Santa left them in the freezer and put a little note under the tree with a clue of where to go searching to the next note… to the next note (treasure hunt style) for the kid to follow. Well Kiddo opened the first envelope with a clue inside, walked to the freezer and opened every drawer to check the ice creams were there and then merrily followed all the clues back to the freezer again.
Ha ha ha
going through a painful breakup so I think I’ll buy myself a few rings and a nice candle since Christmas is going to be different than expected :)
Sending you love!
Sending you (((hugs)))
Hang in there, and if you can, spoil yourself with something symbolic of your awesomeness/or your future self or something comforting.
Buy yourself whatever you want and also make sure you have epic food and awesome books, movies and shows et. Gearing up for a single holiday season over here as well. :)
How are we meant to put the ice cream under the tree??
I can’t tell if this is obstinate or playful
We often give ice cream as a present and will wrap an ice cream scoop and maybe a nice ice cream bowl or two under the tree and then stash the wrapped pint in the freezer (and a note in the bowl or scoop to check the freezer :-)
Wrap a box with a note inside that says “check the freezer”!
Those are all shippable! Some people live afar and need to mail their gifts; what a delight to get ice cream in the mail
Ice cream was – is – one of my very favorite foods. I got a half-gallon for Christmas every year. My sisters also got their faves. It’s one gift I’ll always remember. My youngest children – the last two at home – got a fresh baguette and a jar of nutella as part of their stockings. A gift they loved. Maybe I’ll do it again this year!