Have a Great Weekend.
What are you up to this weekend? Tonight the boys and I are ordering Thai food and watching a movie. We’re thinking Eighth Grade? Hope you have a good one and here are a few fun links from around the web…
I’d love to wear this outfit to Thanksgiving dinner.
How lovely is this 530-square-foot London apartment?
Three-ingredient cranberry chocolate bites. (NYTimes gift link)
Lily Allen and the delusion of the perfect house. “No one who saw that house ever forgot it. Seriously, I’ve done a vast survey using a sample group of six women at a dinner party in North London… There was also something dreadful about that house. Something vacant in the pupil. It was beautiful and doomed… It’s the delusion that if we can just focus on the details, fuss and fuss and fuss, eventually we will make everything perfectly perfect and shiny on the outside and the inside will naturally follow suit.”
Thanksgiving or perimenopause?
I’d love to try writing a newspaper blackout poem. Here are three cool ones: house, teenager, and time.
Alexa Chung’s Madewell collection is so good.
This Irish comedian can make even stone walls funny.
Dark chocolate snobbery. “This one is so intense, it comes with a list of side effects.” “Mine comes with a therapist.” “The taste is so grown up.” “Oh, mine’s massively grown up.”
Cool building wrapping paper.
This gift set is on my wishlist.
Plus, two reader comments:
Says Ella on my first Thanksgiving without my dad: “Thank you for sharing your dad with us, Kelsey. Our family isn’t religious, but we have a habit of lighting a candle each night before bed and sending wishes and love to those we feel inclined to. Tonight, I’ll be sending you and your girl a wish from me and mine — that you catch glimpses of your dad all around you this Thanksgiving and for all to come.”
Says Joy on 10 gifts for friends: “I have entered into whatever stage of life causes me to suddenly feel delighted at the idea of a grownup sticker book.”
(Photo by Siddhardha Kancharla/Unsplash.)
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Comments
86 commentsThe post about Lily Allen’s house kind of threw me! With the new release of her album with the horrible divorce and how he cheated on her many many times!
I know this is a big ask – but – would you ever consider a Monday update? A mini compliment to the “have a great weekend post”. I am always curious how the party went, which dress you chose, how was the play/show/movie was etc. I know sometimes you’ll do a full blown post about the weekend trip or so but just a tiny glimmer would be such a fun way to jump into the week! As always, thank you for sharing your life with us.
oh my gosh, I love this idea! Molly, thank you for asking :) I’ll chat about it with the team, it’s a very fun idea.
Love this! Like a weekend review.
This is a great idea! Would love to see a Monday update
This might across as churlish, please understand I mean this in the best sense. I actually love the idea that not everything needs an update just because we are so familiar with and curious about the CoJ universe. It’s nice in this age to have some things open ended and unsaid. I know I don’t have to click on these updates xx
Lykke, I don’t think that’s churlish (had to look up what that was haha) at all! I get that, it’s almost poetic, like an open ended letter that we get to read and not know every detail. I was thinking more water cooler style, a quick line or two of recommend this now that it’s been seen, highlight an article enjoyed, a song on repeat, or visited this local place etc. just kinda a softball into the week ha. But love your pov too and totally get it :) Thanks for considering, Jo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdUXDhIBxis A little levity this busy week. 🦃🍗 Have a happy!
Thanks, Hilary! That was wonderful and great instruction for how to roast and serve a turkey. Plus Alton Brown is very funny.
As a Belgian, I’m convinced that the world’s obsession with dark chocolate stems from the lack of good milk chocolate outside of Belgium. There, I said it.
I agree. I always buy milk chocolate at duty frees because the milk chocolate in the US doesn’t compare!
I did not know this – thanks for sharing! Now I will seek out milk chocolate when I visit other countries. Always more to learn about chocolate [mostly by sampling!]
You sound like an expert, and I agree. I love milk chocolate the best. Guittard (the silver bag chocolate chips) and Chocolove and Tony’s Chocolonely are my favorites.
ha, ha, good article about the Lilly Allen house. We have really become obsessed with staging our own lives, renovating and building more than perfect homes. Instead of starting to live as soon as possible, dedicating ourselves to people, partners, family, ourselves. People spend months and months looking for the right sofa, bathroom ceramics, chandelier. I myself would never spend more than 4-6 months on the renovation of a house or apartment. A waste of time, a waste of life for all these material and so fleeting things…. It is tragic that someone will even buy that house at this unreasonable price. And probably completely strip it down and redo it again….
Knowing there are several industries employing dozens of pros at every stage of this kind of project makes me less apt to respond to exclusive examples but your comment did. Covering the Celeb angst of the day in itself employs many. No joke.
Oooph! As someone who curates their home slowly and with purpose I can say that nesting via design can enrich life significantly (if its your jam) and I for one love the process. It is possible to do it mindfully AND also it will not on its own make for a happy life.
It’s possible to do more than one thing at a time! Dive into a major project while maintaining meaningful relationships, for instance. Living in a beautiful space really contributes to feelings of happiness for me, and I don’t begrudge others who feel different their experience, but neither should you begrudge me mine!
I see a few different points tangled into your critique, Maja. I agree that there has been a heightened tendency to “stage” homes, since the popularity of Instagram in particular. And there can be lots of waste involved in renovating over and over again. But decorating one’s home has been a part of human life for centuries. Some people – I count myself as one – are very visual and influenced by our surroundings. I am not wasteful with my money but I have noticed a difference when I paint my room a certain colour or take time to find an object that I use or look at all the time. And not to mention the skill and craft of all the people involved in this work. As to the time involved, I found your critique curious. I bought an old home that had not been updated for 70 years, and even though it’s small it took me months to bring it up to code and make it both safe and lovely to live in. Doing it faster or more superficially would have been worse.
Re: the delusion of the perfect house article…. it reminds me of a passage I just read in Catherine Newman’s We All Want Impossible Things. “And I didn’t like the expression ‘home for sale’- as if you got a whole life with your real estate: plates of meatloaf, a doting wife, enough wood for the fire. As if it were the house itself that would keep you safe, that would make you happy.” Mic drop.
Yes, I always think it’s sort of strange when people talk about selling a home. You’re selling a house! Or an apartment or condo or whatever. A home is what is made when you’re inside a building. Semantics, for sure, but meaningful.
The photo by Siddhardha Kancharla is giving all the feels in the best way. Also, just want to say thank you to Jo & team for the gift guides this week, they are so gently and wonderfully made. You make it look easy, but I’m sure there’s a lot of work involved.
Lots going on in the Leah Mclaren piece. Very good writing, but it also made me feel I’d walked into a conversation way too late to catch up. I stuck with it to the end though, and found it was worth the time. We can never have too many reminders that superficial gloss and dazzle won’t fill an inner void or an empty life. It also brought to mind Joyce Carol Oates recent social media comments about the wealthiest man in the world: “So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates— scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); pride in a friend’s or relative’s accomplishment; condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated , uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the ‘most wealthy person in the world,'”
I loved her post about Musk— such an epic takedown that clearly bothered him, and yet it’s simple and true.
Jo! Watch Eighth Grade before watching it with the boys. Although, maybe I just have a really low cringe threshold….
I just love that apartment and wish I knew how to create a space that felt that cohesive and personal myself! Design sense is the skill I always would wish for if I could add something I knew how to do naturally. I went down Kate friend rabbit hole after seeing the photo in the piece. I wish she sold prints!
Eighth Grade is one of my favorite movies!
The stone wall video! The chocolate video! The McSweeney Thanksgiving or Perimenopause? Hilarious in a week where laughter was much needed. Also adore the London apartment. And I would be so happy if someone just gifted me the building wrapping paper. What a terrific find. A+ weekend roundup. Thanks, Cup of Jo.
Friends have started asking my husband and I if we have a preference of our first baby’s gender…I know everything about the birth order in their own families by how they finish my sentence which starts ‘as the eldest daughter, of an eldest daughter, of an eldest daughter, of an eldest daughter…’ Of course, in reality, we’re just excited to meet our child and get to know them throughout their life…but also….
When I was little my grandpa was a chocolate factory engineer so he invented machines to make chocolate! He used to get a lot of samples of straight up unprocessed chocolate at home from different countries. When I came over for vacation to visit him we would always slice one brick or another to taste it. It’s always dark. I never liked it! My mom on other hand as that what she grew up with it always loved it! She always brings dark chocolate with her when she visits.
I am so glad Lily Allan seems to be experiencing freedom. I am currently on a weekly chemotherapy regime, moving house, and trying to re-arrange all the STUFF (read: shit) I’ve collected for no reason over the years. The stress and physical pain of it all seems to be begging me to notice the truth… None of it matters. My kids don’t need the shelves to be stocked with more vases. They want to see me healthy and smiling. Pray for me, those who are inclined <3
Thinking of you, Laura, and I’m glad you know your kids just want you healthy and smiling! Sending you love from a former chemo patient ❤️
Laura, you are in my prayers–I pray you find a phrase or word (maybe it’s “healthy and smiling”) to motivate you through these weeks. Maybe its a different joy. Last year, I framed the Julian of Norwich quote “All shall be well” in my office, just to remind myself the season was finite.
Prayers, Laura, for your peace and healing!
Sending you the warmest wishes from Germany, Laura!
It’s true, they just need you. I hope they get you for another 60 years – and also, do not under estimate the power of mother love. My mum was told multiple times that this next cancer would end in death, absolutely… it was too big, too long unnoticed. The first time was when she was 34 with two young kids, then at 40 and then again at 78. Guess what? She’s making pavlova this Christmas and still bossing me around. I send you hope and care. But also, if you need another vase for some flowers, that is also really cool.
Laura, I am praying for you – for your physical healing, your peace, your energy, your heart, your children, your support system, your care team’s wisdom and expertise, and your move. May miracles abound. May joy increase. May power suffuse you. May Earth’s blessings be lavished upon you and your loved ones, and spill outwards in their abundance in natural waves of blessing for decades to come. May your grief, fear, pain, suffering, fatigue, and sadness find safe harbor and space for expression. May the richness of love, care, solace, and comfort you’ve shown others in your life blaze back into you ten times over. May sleep be a nightly and daily easeful blessing. May your digestion be easeful and any interruptions attended to with speedy intervention. May the little tape edge in the tape dispenser always be easily findable by all those participating in your move, and may the good markers be close at hand.
I will, Laura ❤️ I don’t share this hope in a flippant way at all (bc I viscerally know the weariness that debilitating sickness brings), but I hope that, miraculously, joy would become your strength. Wishing for much health and many smiles for you and your family!
Thank you for sharing this Laura! I’m currently at my 1st chemo for a weekly regime too, after a diagnose of breast cancer last September. I too have a much needed sorting of my stuff to do after some renovation work in my apartment. I hope I’ll be in good health and energy enough to do this! 💪 But no kids so it will be less work to do! Also I’m not religious but I loved reading your intentions and prayers. ♡
Consider hiring an organizer from task rabbit. $30 an hour for one of the sweetest and most sincere (and helpful) young business woman ever. Task Rabbiting pays her bills while allowing her flexibility she needs for her young kids she re-establishes her business after a major two year health setback took it all.
I’m learning to knit! At 60! It’s been on my list for a while, and I finally bought a little kit and started out a few days ago. It’s like meditating (once I got the initial moves down ha ha!) And it just feels so peaceful and cozy in these times.
Ahhh, the Thanksgiving or Perimenopause piece is mine! I co-wrote it with my friend Julie. We had such a good time writing it together, we were like, “If no one else thinks this is funny, at least we do.” Thank you for including it here! :)
I’m not even in perimenopause and this made me laugh so hard. Thanks for a great piece, Janine!
Laughed so hard–it was fantastic!!
It’s fabulous. The good feels come through!
On this dreary Saturday I’m reading Remain by Nicholas Sparks and M. Night Shyamalan which I understand M. NIght is already turning into his next film. A romantic ghost thriller-so far, so very good. The cranberry sauce chocolate treat is a newish favorite chilled snack. That gals recipe development is truly unique.
One question, does Gemma recommend that make up set? OK, two questions . . . Would you consider a post on make up for perimenopause? Ie: skin that is no longer plump and beginning to show it’s age but also still suffers from hormonal acne? I’m not much of a make up person and definitely prefer a no-makeup look but am having trouble finding products that even out my skin and cover my occasional blemishes without also making my skin look even older than it actually is. I really need some handholding.
Explore the it cosmetics site. The founders story might resonate with you and I love their concealer…
I am 49 and Tarte works well for me (Tarte Maracuja tinted moisturizer) I keep re-purchasing. I tried Nars and even got a consult on the shade but it feels heavier and almost itchy on me – bummer.
Oh my god 8th grade BROKE ME. I saw it with no expectations or knowledge about it ahead of time. I couldn’t believe it was written and directed by a man!! It felt so so true to life that I thought it HAD to be created by a woman. I think it should be required viewing for boys (girls are already living it). It’s so hard to be an 8th grade girl and teenage girls get such a bad rap!! Justice for teenage girls!! (And everyone watch this movie!!)
Ella’s comment was so lovely, and also made me think: at what age will bedtime be calm and peaceful enough that we could handle an actual lit candle as part of it?! Or, does lighting the candle calm things down? My kid is five right now and yeeesh bedtime is still a bit of a chaotic mess. I would love to be able to add such a lovely component as lighting a candle, but that seems so far beyond our capabilities right now.
The lighting calms it down! Our kids are 3 and 4 – one is a human tornado, the other a gentler breeze – but both are hush at the magic of a flame in the darkness, eager to send their wishes and love into the world (though we did have to work on not interrupting!), and always happy to delay bedtime by five minutes or so. 😉
well, I didn’t see this coming, but that mcsweeney’s “article” made a lightbulb go off for me hahahaha
What is House and Garden *UK* doing calling that a tiny flat?! 50sqm is the size of my two bedroom flat and I have never considered it tiny. Very standard for the UK!!
God, I was really hoping you’d troll us by linking that thanksgiving outfit to something atrocious and holiday sweater-y just for funsies.
The Irish comedian is so so funny!! His clip about the Santa forecast almost gave me a stitch. I first saw his German vs Irish person accepting a piece of cake on coj but never knew his name. Thanks for the laughs!!!
You CANNOT tempt us with the, “I’d like to write a poem….” And not actually be writing those poems!! Even if you don’t share them!!! I would love to see your blogger to poet arc…maybe you are already writing them / they are already asking for you to come on through…. One of my favorite prompts for poems is roughly pulled from camoghne Felix’s “born. Living. Will. Die.” poem. In her poem, huge things like never doing something again are then paired with a tangible image like the moon. The prompt is then, write 3-5 couplets (or more) where the first line is something abstract and perhaps unwieldy, then the second line is a specific and-or sensory based thing. So “I feel so sad today and can’t figure out why / and there’s a little hole in the sleeve of my sweater” or “when will this be home / the sky is blue with an edge of orange.” It’s low stakes almost like a mix and match, just playing with language and seeing what happens. It’s so interesting to move between the huge and specific, the feelings that feel too big to say and an immediate sensory detail…. Maybe someone will find that sweet to try this weekend.
Such a gorgeous poem, and such a toothy prompt. Thanks for cracking the door in my head a bit today
As someone in the throes of perimenopause, that McSweeney’s article made me cackle. My husband didn’t see the humor which just made it funnier.
I watched eighth grade years ago when my daughter was still a baby, and it still gives me anxiety about how she will eventually be in junior high. Kind of like how several people told me they stopped watching the Bear after the Christmas episode because it was just too much like their real life. It’s great movie though!
Yeah I thought it was a great movie too. I saw it in the theater when it first came out.
Ella’s lovely comment makes me think: I’d love to read a post on different folks’ family traditions! I’ve got two young boys + I feel a yearning towards more family traditions, but am not always sure where to start! I’m sure the CoJ comments section would have so many good ideas :)
I grew up lower middle class, but what we lacked in money, my parents made up for in love and small splurges where they could. One of my favorites. Every February, they’d get a “nicer” hotel in a nearby, bigger city for a weekend. The hotel had an indoor pool and that’s basically all we did all weekend. And we’d get a good dinner out. Years and years later, we went on a family trip out west. We decided to eat dinner at a steakhouse in Jackson. I remember my dad asking my mom if we had enough m-o-n-ey. Yes, he spelled it out. And yes, I was in my 20s. My mom once said to us that she purposefully baked in traditions to give us good memories. We made gingerbread houses and colored Easter eggs and all the stuff. Went camping and fishing and hiking. But what I really remember is that my parents were present and loved us and let us be ourselves. No agenda. Pure love. That’s what I’ll truly remember.
Seconded! Especially ones that aren’t religious. I have no regrets about not raising my kids to believe in a god but I do feel they miss out on the ceremonies – they could use more rituals in their lives :)
That would definitely be a fun post. My family and I don’t have too many, but I feel like they tend to be influenced geographically. We’re Cornwallites, but not like Jo’s kin are. We all congregate by the Saint Lawrence River, eat cheese curds from Saint Albert’s factory and listen to Akwesasne Mohawk radio. Alright, now I’m homesick. 🥲 I recommend Eastern Ontario for visiting!
As I start building a family, I would love that too! I have less religion, less family and less community than my parents had bringing me up so I too wonder where to draw inspiration for family rituals and traditions.
Every year towards the end of November, our family of four potato prints brown packing paper to use as Christmas wrapping paper. We save the paper throughout the year, and part of the fun is deciding which shapes to carve and seeing how well (or not!) they come out. We just did it this afternoon and agreed that the snowflake and stable designs were the most successful, the Christmas tree and donkey less so!
Oh, Jane. What a lovely childhood you had! It really warmed my heart to read how loved you felt and I’m sure continue to feel!
There have already been posts here about rituals! I remember reading about crazy hat day and things like that in the readers’ comments. Try searching “rituals” on the main cupofjo page.
we’d love to do more posts on rituals, and here are some from the past, as well: https://cupofjo.com/2016/12/19/holiday-food-traditions/ https://cupofjo.com/2022/05/26/9-great-reader-comments-on-rituals/ https://cupofjo.com/2020/07/30/reader-comments-on-rituals/ https://cupofjo.com/2012/12/10/motherhood-mondays-an-ode-to-rituals/ https://cupofjo.com/2020/07/20/family-rituals-ideas/
Clicked on the Lily Allen link and …woah!… Leah McLaren! There’s a name I’d forgotten! Weird story about Leah — once, at a party, she tried to breastfeed a stranger’s baby. (She wasn’t nursing at the time so I’m not sure how she thought that was going to work) Fortunately, the baby’s father walked in, caught her with her shirt unbuttoned, and took his baby away. All this might have remained a secret except years later, the baby’s father ran for a leader of the federal conservatives and Leah chose that moment to actually write about what she’d done in the Globe and Mail (that’s Canadian’s national newspaper. It’s normally a serious paper). The column was quickly pulled but the internet never forgets so here you go: https://web.archive.org/web/20170326224152/https://www.mbnews.one/ca_news_158305.htm No matter what Leah McLaren does or writes, this is the only thing I will ever remember about her.
This was the weirdest article maybe ever? What the actual….heck? I have no response other than this was extremely unsettling and not ok. (and now like you, this is all I shall think of when I see anything by Leach McLaren!)
I learned that I could use eyeliner on my waterline from a Leah McLaren column in the Globe, which was a revelation for me and my non-existent makeup skills years (decades??) ago, and I still often think randomly of her while doing my makeup!
Whoa this was so strange lol. Thank you for the gossip sesh 😂
Oh gosh, and then I remembered something else. CW for SA… Leah McLaren also wrote a memoir and in it she told her mother’s story about being abused as a girl by a much older riding instructor. After the book was published, her mother said she’d used the story without permission. Her mom wrote a really touching essay about the whole thing. I can’t recall where I read it but I found it so sad and terrible. Such a violation of boundaries.
I discovered something this week that (I assume) will be as big of news to the CoJitariat as it was to me: Trader Joe’s Homestyle Cherry Pistachio Pecan Granola is a dupe for the granola Eleven Madison Park would send home with guests after their meal! (I never went to EMP, this is based on comparing the TJ’s ingredient list to the EMP recipe as recounted by NYT cooking.)
I’m sitting here with two different batches of emp granola so I will need to see!
I just got back from TJ’s but will now have to go back. Eleven Mad’s granola is so, so good. Thank you for letting us know!
Pro tip!!!
Yes, it is! Though having tried it, I think making it at home (using the NYT recipe) is far better- you can really taste the olive oil and salt. But, it’s great if you don’t feel like making it.
Oooh Eight Grade is a bleak movie.
I went shopping with my best friend’s 10 year old daughter this summer and bought us each a few adorable sticker sheets of tiny bunnies and cats, etc doing cosy things (making tea, tucking into bed, reading books). I didn’t know what I would use mine for, just couldn’t resist and I delighted in the joy we both got from looking at and choosing them. Then her birthday rolled around this month and I made her a card creating little scenes out of the stickers. It was so much fun and I loved the thought of her opening the card and getting more joy out of “our” stickers.
That sounds like so much fun, I’m sure she loved it!
Really like the London apartment, very inspirational, shows what’s possible. Beautifully designed. (Altho’, i admit, i would not be able to share the space lol, would have to just be me.) Tree lighting outside my building tomorrow (Surrey, BC). Will prob just watch from my apartment.😁
My breath was on hold as I read Ella’s comment. I’ll be lighting candles for you and yours. Aren’t we lucky to have people like Ella in our lives? Thank you, Jo, for creating the space that makes it easier to find the Ellas, xx.
What an absolutely beautiful comment to Ella’s loving comment, Farhana!
Forever and ever yes! 🕯️