What Is My Body Doing?
They don’t know exactly what is wrong with you…
And this not knowing takes forever and never ends.
For one thing, you have a purple rash from neck to wrist to ankle that will not budge from beneath the military-grade ointments you are required to slather over it. For another, some of your organs are failing tests, failing you, failing in general. You spend half of your one wild and precious life in your online patient portal looking at inscrutable graphs of the wrong concentrations of hematological components you’ve never heard of. The absolute lymphs are too low! The absolute monos are too high! The immature granulocytes are juuuuust right. Since when did your blood become Goldilocks and the Three Bears?
“Stay with your group,” you can hear your fourth-grade teacher say on the museum field trip — and you would like to, you really would, but you seem to have wandered off and now you are lost and gazing alone at the ruins of Pompeii while everyone else sits in the cafeteria with their bologna sandwiches.
There, on your way to the bathroom, you run into your favorite doctor — the one you are there to see — and she hugs you and says, “I was so happy when I saw your name on my schedule!” Later, when you’re sitting in your papery gown on her papery table, she will say, totally convincingly, “We are on it,” even though they don’t totally understand what it is.
The phlebotomist in the black Pumas asks about your flying-chipmunk tattoo, and her eyes fill with tears when you explain that your daughter has the same one. She and her mom have matching tattoos, too, and she rolls up her sleeve so you can see the red of the heart on her biceps. “We’ve talked about this before, haven’t we,” she says, and you laugh, and she says, “Did I cry that time, too?” She did.
In the CT scan waiting room, a lively and ancient man wearing more than one wool sweater clinks his bottle of clear contrast solution against yours and says, “Cheers, baby! To our health.”
Afterward, your husband gets your ticket validated and holds you in the elevator of the parking garage while you cry a little. Then he takes you to lunch at your favorite café in this hospital town — the place with the platters of Middle Eastern dips: garlicky tzatziki and earthy baba ganouj and tangy, vibrant muhammara to scoop up with warm, spice-freckled pita. Sometimes, while you’re sitting there sipping your mint iced tea, the results start dinging into the portal, and he makes a yikes face to make you laugh.
Driving home you respond to the many texts from individual friends and friend groups, everyone checking on you, sending you nonstop heart-based emojis, offering to bring you soup, caring if you live or die. If you didn’t keep these appointments a secret from them, your parents would call, too, and you would reassure them that you do, in fact, plan to outlive them, although the possibility that you won’t hangs above your head like a bad lightbulb. You are approaching 60, and still it’s possible that nobody will ever love you as much as these two. You cry into the cats’ fur about it, and the cats lick your salty face even though your tears are a little deficient in magnesium.
Ten days from now, your daughter and her bestie — both of them living in your home like balls of actual sunlight — will take it upon themselves to remove the biopsy stitches from the back of your shoulder after they catch you trying to do it yourself in the medicine-cabinet mirror. They are science majors, they work lab jobs, they are fearless and knowledgeable, and they only start laughing when it becomes clear that the kitten has chewed through all of the sanitized packaging of the suture-removal kit. “It’s fine,” you say, “just wash it with soap and water.” They use alcohol swabs instead. When you see their two perfect rosy faces bent so carefully toward your wound, you believe in something like the power of mystical healing.
Some days, yeah, you still feel like you’re wandering around alone, studying the ruins while everyone else eats lunch and peers at irrigation dioramas. But you’re not alone, and no one will let you forget it. So lean in. Reach out. Let the ashes rain down around you while you count your blessings.
Catherine Newman is the author of the novels We All Want Impossible Things, the New York Times-bestselling Sandwich, and the brand new Wreck — out today! — which, she says, “is kind of like if this personal essay were turned into a novel, but funnier, ideally.”
Thank you for this personal essay, Catherine. Congratulations on your new novel. xoxo
P.S. Catherine Newman’s joyful house tour and her love of cold plunging (“a sea of thigh and boob”).
(Photo by Nick Karvounis/Unsplash.)
Comments
119 commentsI LOVE this book. Borrowed it from the library but just bought a copy so I can pass on to friends (this is my love language). Question: can we get Rocky’s recipes? The muffins (with or without nuts!), the ribs, the lentil simmering in herbs in a slow cooker…?! Would love a bespoke cookbook, but links to recipes would be just as appreciated.
Catherine, I pre-ordered Wreck, having no idea what it was about, just knowing I’d love it, like I love all your books. So when I got to the part about Rocky reading her hepatic panel results in her patient portal, I got the sudden eerie feeling I was reading a novel about myself. I’m a mom of two as well, and I was recently diagnosed with the OTHER cholangitis. (PBC instead of PSC, but also an incurable liver/bile duct thing.) So, Rocky and I are 2 in 200,000. From a loyal reader of yours, I’m so sorry if you’re going through medical stress and uncertainty, and also thank you so much for writing this novel. For making it so hilarious, so bursting with love. Thank you for making this feel less lonely.
Finished Wreck at about 1:30am. My favorite parts are always the incredible descriptions of the mother loving/missing her children. But I was also cracking up in the hair salon. So good.
I just finished Wreck today, and I couldn’t stopping crying and laughing alternately and at the same time throughout the whole book. I love how Catherine brings so much joy without negating all the pain of living. It’s all there, together. Her writing has helped me through so many hard times, and I hope she feels the love flowing back to her from all the people whose lives she has impacted.
Cathrine, I too have a body that does whatever it wants with me and the doctors don’t know how to help. My interesting observation after living in this imperfect vessel for so many years, is I’m never as alive in my life as in these moments of pain and suffering. To be honest, I can’t remember a time when I was in significant pain. I’ve learned for me that pain is a constant reminder that I’m alive and I can’t take any moment for granted. It takes my awareness and forces me to look beyond the pain into the beauty of the day and moments of experience, like you described with your daughter taking out your stitches. I’ve had so many years of this type of living that I now accept where my body is and look at this as a “new normal”. This new normal changes over the course of years and forces me to adapt. Now I have several potential life altering and potential life ending conditions that are not operable or treatable beyond some level of pain control. I’m constantly working on seeing this and looking forward to what I can do and not what I’ve lost. Sending you love and appreciation for your lovely words and thoughts of some resolution to your illness. Keep the fight and fire in your life. Your words mean so much to so many,
This essay is my introduction to Catherine Newman and I’m hooked and ordered a copy of “Waiting For Birdy.” Way different subject matter, but full of the same difficulties and small triumphs as being ill. I was very ill last year with HLH and had so many needle pokes that my veins scarred. It’s a strange way to be, and it’s hard to articulate when you’re in the thick of it, but this essay manages to do so beautifully. Thank you.
Dear Catherine, I love you and your writing. Sending you BIG HUGS from Ireland.
I just saw Catherine speak at the Boston Book Festival last weekend—she is just as funny, warm, and witty in person as she is in her writing!
So grateful to have read this today, as I also wait for the results of a CT scan. It is a scary and lonely place to exist, in the realm of the unknown, and you write about it so beautifully. Can’t wait to read your new book.
sending so much love to you, Jen. xoxo
I, too, have been in this liminal space you’re in right now, Jen. You are braver than you think, and even when sitting with those lonely feelings you are never truly alone. Sending a big warm hug your way xoxo
I see you Jen! Scanxiety is the worst. Sending you love and strength as you wait x
Catherine, you have been such a gift to my life. I’m sending all my best vibes and care bear stares your way. Thank you for sharing so beautifully with us.
Catherine, it’s a good thing we don’t have your number, because the number of heart-based emojis and texts of caring we would stream your way would be just too much. Instead know the whole CoJ community is carrying you along in our own way. Big hugs, Catherine. Big hugs.
this times 1,000
I swear that as I was reading this gorgeous essay, I thought, “this really sounds like Catherine Newman” and OF COURSE IT IS! I love her voice, her work… yet another gem introduced to me via CoJ. I’m a healthcare professional and damn, has she ever nailed the patient experience. Wonderful Wednesday magic.
Sending you strength, humor and support. It sounds like you have an army behind you – know that there are many in the world who love your words and are cheering you on as well.
“Let the ashes rain down around you while you count your blessings.” Be still, my heart! Reminded me of these poems which are among my favorite: https://www.thesunmagazine.org/articles/22794-selected-poems
These poems made me cry and I love them. Thank you.
The Sun Magazine is the best magazine forever and always.
Everyone needs to listen to her interview with the amazing Kate Bowler! https://katebowler.com/podcasts/so-much-love-so-much-to-lose/
I am wishing the best for you, Catherine. Thank you for your beautiful writing. I hope you have art that is sustaining you the way yours has sustained all of us.
I have nothing eloquent to say because I am not a writer but I want to say I love your writing, it thrills me. You are my favorite. Wishing and hoping for the best possible health outcome for you and I can’t wait to read Wreck.
Dear National Treasure Catherine Newman, I will convert to new religions to send prayers up for your health and happiness. May all of the wisdom and love and joy you send out into the world come back to you tenfold.
Love this!
This is beautiful, Jennifer. Also your name is epic!!! It feels like it must be uttered with a reverential, hushed tone. So regal!
Congratulations Catherine on another wildly successful book! Your writing is stunning and magnificent. I adore the intensity with which you describe loving your children. Great job on GMA! You bring extra light into our world.
Still Laura here. Sincere apologies Catherine. I was so excited to see your writing that I missed that this was a personal essay. What hard times you are going through. Sending hugs and healing thoughts.
Echoing all the hugs, concern, gratitude for your beautiful person-ness, delight in your writing, and love that all the others here have expressed and will surely keep expressing – you have touched my life and made me feel more whole through your words, Catherine, and I am deeply grateful for you. Thank you for being who you are. We are all with you in spirit.
As someone going through a nearly identical scenario, keep going Catherine (I’m also speaking to myself here, allow me the indulgence!). There is NOTHING wrong with you; your body is working perfectly to keep you well and as thriving as possible. Miracle. Let the word be miraculous… You ARE a miracle and your healing IS miraculous. That is the capital ‘T’ Truth. There is no further distillation of that Truth. BRAVO Catherine for being BRAVE and letting your people SEE you through this! That is my biggest challenge, as the mother who gives gives gives gives gives, in every realm of her life… Time to RECEIVE. God bless you and your people, Catherine! It’s a MIRACLE, this life!!! May our lives be our medicine!!!
Amen Laura! Beautiful- thank you!
sending love to Catherine xo and for fellow readers she’s on Oldster today: https://oldster.substack.com/p/this-is-57-bestselling-author-catherine?utm_campaign=email-half-post&r=1vumf&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email
Thank you for sharing!! Loved it xx
“Another thing I like, perhaps more significantly, is no longer being ornamental. I mean, I was never purely ornamental, obviously, and I am still ornamental, in a good way, to the sensible oldsters who understand how deep my hotness runs. But I mostly move through the world unmolested by the free-floating, aggressive, and presumptuous sexual energy of men, and I like it. I love it.” Oh. My. Word. I feel this in my bones. My husband likes my ornaments, and that’s plenty enough for me now. Catherine, sending you healing and supportive vibes!
Thank you for sharing, wow I loved this interview so much! Everything she said was so specific and yet universal.
Every night while I rub lotion on my feet (sorry) I send a little something out into the universe. Tonight I sent it out for you. That you may find a wise, kind one who is for you what you’ve been to so many of us. I read Waiting For Birdy like a religious text: reassuring me it would be okay. In fact I even sent you an email during that weird sleep deprived second baby time (and you so graciously responded). Go well, Catherine. We are all here for you too.
Catherine, I just reread SANDWICH while waiting for WRECK to come out. Oh how lucky I felt last night to crawl into bed with tea and your wonderful book, my legs bandaged since I just got my varicose veins operated. I heart every sentence and have to stop myself from reading too fast because I know I will be waiting for your next book as soon as I finish the last sentence… I really do feel connected to you and thank you for being a Woman to keep in my thoughts when I am down and feeling the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. Congratulations and sending you healing vibes. Love from Switzerland
Dear Catherine, I adore you and your writing. I’m sorry that you know what it is like to be a patient and have that unsureness of not knowing what is happening with / has happened to your body. I remember when I had a stroke after giving birth, in the first few months I breathed a sigh of relief for the weekends, because I could rest knowing that I could take a break from managing my health (the messages in the portal, the tests, the therapy and specialists appointments and the insurance/billing/paying) over the weekend. Sending all my love. <3
I’m really sorry to hear about your stroke, and I hope you’re doing as well as can be 🩷
I love you and your writing Catherine. May positive answers find you soon. In the meantime I will just cry and cry over the beauty of this writing.
Writing to add to the chorus of voices saying we care what happens to you and sending healing vibes and hugs and soup and long walks on sun kissed beaches with arms linked to ones we love and so many more garbanzo bean recipes.
Leave it to Catherine to capture the quotidian comedy, tenderness, and joy in the hardest moments. Prayers for your healing and thanks for your words.
Dear Catherine, I am sending you a G I A N T hug!!
Catherine’s writing always has a way of tapping into my tender, exhausted heart and pulling out joy and connection
You nailed it, Amy. I feel the exact same way.
Yes! What a perfect way to describe her writing.
Currently sitting in the ER for another weird thing with my body because my doctor failed me, and there office let an inexperienced tech practice their skills on me without permission and it made things worse. Thankful the doctor her sees me as a whole person and even cares about my mental health (it’s a whole grab bag of hard) It’s days before my 40th birthday that I’m slowly realizing/accepting I’m not going to celebrate the way I had hoped and we need to cancel the hotel before we loose the money. This post hit me in all the feels and made me feel less alone as I wait and wait to hear my next steps. Thankful who thankful to be one of the lucky ones with th insurance and the support network to be here, even when it sucks.
I’m sorry you have to cancel the plans for your 40th. What a disappointing and lonely feelings. Sending love.
Oh Erin, this really sucks. I too fell sick just before my 40th… part of my illness was developing anaphylaxis to something unknown …. so I had to cancel my 40th. The laundry was full of fun – 6 cases of champagne and 4 cases of french red and 4 of french white wine…. but you know what, that was enough champagne to be able to pop a bottle for any reason for the next couple years. There’s nothing good about being sick what so ever, so just be kind to yourself and find the things that bring you joy… and good luck with the doctors… I finally met a specialist who said to me “People keep looking at medicine like it is a science, but we don’t know enough, we’re finding our way. Maybe it is more like astrology”. I hope you have the capacity to treat yourself in a way that is kind, and that honours who you are and the love you receive. Also just remember how to celebrate your 40th is not a prediction of the rest of your life, or the one you have lived. I get that it can feel like a bad omen.
I have been writing privately about my body. It’s strange, the writing, and my body, really. My health declines, disability moves in, I feel weird about sharing it. The all-consuming nature of it all feels so mundane, who would want to read about it? And then I read this masterpiece.
All of this Tracey 💕
I picked up my pre-ordered copy of Wreck from my local bookstore today. Championing Catherine Newman near and far.
Catherine, thank you for sharing your story with us. Everything you write is such a gift to this world. This CoJ community has so much love for you. We’ll all be hoping that gentle answers come soon.
Catherine – may your health be as strong as your brilliant writing. I am not religious at all but I am praying for you and your family the best way an agnostic can. Much love.
I read an advance copy of Wreck over the weekend and loved it. I texted my friend midway and said “this new Catherine Newman has me in all of the emotions today, especially laughs and tears! She’s just great at pinpointing life, and life as a parent.” Thanks for another wonderful read.
Catherine….your honesty never fails to break me…. Be it motherhood or health concerns, I have always marched in solidarity beside you. This will be what it will.be and you will triumph once again. ♥️ Sending so much love.
I snagged a copy of “Wrecked” on my library’s “Express” shelf today, and it made my day. I went to hear you speak in Sandwich, MA, and got to love you even more than I already had, Catherine. Sending you so many good thoughts and wishes for a full and speedy recovery.
What a gift you are, Catherine. Sending love and strength xx
Could not have said it better. This simultaneously made me cry and made my heart swell with appreciation for the beauty of it.
I am currently visiting my daughter at college who is suffering from extreme fatigue…. and no one knows why. She can barely make it to class and has to rest for hours afterwards. She is frustrated and pale and getting depressed. And I am telling her we will figure it out and then hiding to cry. This essay made me feel seen.
Nicole, I’m so sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. My extreme fatigue and ‘post exertional malaise’ (exertion can include just going to class) led to a diagnosis of ME/CFS and POTS, unfortunately more common now after covid. I am mentioning it in case it helps in your figuring it out. I hope that you can find some answers soon!
My kid was recently diagnosed with POTS as well. There are somewhat straightforward tests for it. I’m sorry you are going through this. Wish I could give you an in-person hug.
I’m so sorry your daughter is feeling this especially in college. This is so hard for you both. I hate throwing out medical suggestions but I know how it feels to have constant fatigue and desperate for answers. I had something similar years ago and I could barely function. Finally two years later, the 7th dr figured out it was a histamine sensitivity or mast cell activation issue. A decade later, my niece (also in college) now suffers from something similar. Her dr has her on a similar anti-histamine treatment (zyrtec and pepcid ad helped her the most), plus she has to avoid gluten and rebuild her gut biome. I don’t know if this will help but I felt I needed to just throw it out there because you never know. xo
Hi Nicole – so sorry you’re going through this! The docs have likely checked for this already, but I got mono in college and it lasted almost a month. I thought I was just tired/depressed until a professor picked up that something was wrong and insisted I get tested for mono. Good luck getting to the bottom of it!
Has she been tested for Glandular fever / Epstein-Barr virus (EBV)? I had extreme fatigue during my college days; my doctors couldn’t nail it down initially, either. It was not detected in routine blood tests. I hope you get some answers soon. Hugs!
My partner had the same, blood work was „a mystery“, organs were swollen and inflamed, lymph nodes huge, and at the end it turned out to be Mono. The quick test came back negative, but the proper test was positive. Good luck and best wishes!
My son is in the same mode as your daughter! Finally got him home and took him to his pediatrician to get tested for vitamin/nutrient deficiencies (D, folate, B12, iron/ferritin), which was the cause. Mentioning in case it may help, they’re not always included in the testing.
Nicole, I was finally diagnosed five years ago with the EDS/POTS/MCAS trifecta after exhibiting some of what you describe happening with your daughter. For what it’s worth, it’s diagnosed without having to do anything painful or invasive. My old college roommate was the one who figured out the POTs after reading about it. I went to a cardiologist specialist ‘just to rule it out’ and instead, it was the beginning of some real help. It took years because the assumption was my low ferritin levels that would dip and out of anemia were causing all the problems. For what it’s worth, doctors often check for iron deficiency without also checking ferritin levels! Please ask to have that checked! I’m really hoping they can fix whatever is going on with your daughter and that she feels much better very soon!!
My bro-in-law felt similarly recently (he’s in med school) and he was positive for mono! Not just a high school sickness!
Gosh I wish everyone experienced this level of support, care and love around them. I wish that for myself too.
Emily, I hope you are feeling loved, cared for, and supported.
I love the way you write!
Echoing all the love already on this page. What a gorgeously talented, big-hearted gem of a human you are.
Much love and positive vibes to you, Catherine. This is never fun. I am glad you have your people, and hope you feel the love of so many of us.
Oh Catherine. How indescribably difficult. And yet you have described it. Perfectly. You have put into words the feelings of having an undiagnosable, chronic disease. I will be thinking of you during my next blood draw and CT scan. And hoping very much that you will be well enough to continue writing and sharing a beautiful life with your loved ones. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable and heartbreaking essay.
We know exactly what is wrong with us…Gaza. “So lean in. Reach out”. Stop the genocide.
Hello, Farhana. I see you and I hear you and I honor you. Thank you for keeping the light shining on this. Wishing you well and always glad to see your name here.
Beautiful writing, as always. I couldn’t help but think…wow, how amazing would it be to have this kind of doctor. There, on your way to the bathroom, you run into your favorite doctor — the one you are there to see — and she hugs you and says, “I was so happy when I saw your name on my schedule!” Later, when you’re sitting in your papery gown on her papery table, she will say, totally convincingly, “We are on it,” even though they don’t totally understand what it is.
I can’t tell if this a book excerpt, or a personal essay from Catherine? Hope she is ok.
Personal essay! Xx
Oh whoops, I also thought it was an excerpt from Wreck!
Wishing you strength and solace. Thank you for all the times you’ve shared your work with us! This line from your house tour – “I had approached motherhood as hosting this really good, multi-decade party” – immediately flipped my thinking and made me a much better parent under stress.
Same. I have gone back to this house tour more than once.
Me too. I love everything about Catherine. I started a wall of framed peaches and pears in my kitchen- inspired by her!
Your prose is filled with such heart and exquisite tenderness. I’m coming to see you on November 13 in Baltimore and this only added to my excitement!
I will be there as well! I am reading my copy of Sandwich right now in preparation.
This rings so true as I cared for and loved someone with cutaneous lymphoma- an unknown and underdiagnosed disease. Sending you so much strength and thank you for writing this essay.
Oh, Catherine… Know that you have so, so many of us in your corner sending you love and caring wishes. As you say, you are NOT alone. Let us hold you up with positive vibes over the miles and miles.
Catherine, when I read your writing, I feel like something essential and necessary is sliding into place. Thank you for always offering us something so true.
This is exactly how I feel. Thank you for putting it into words Jenni. And Catherine, you beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing. I am picturing you getting hugs from your husband and care from your daughter and friend. May you find strength deep within you and many many friends when you need to be propped up a bit.
Okay, this is wild! I literally just set “Sandwich” down to check CoJ, and here’s this beautiful, raw essay by Catherine Newman! Sending hugs and a big congrats on “Wreck,” Catherine! I can’t wait to read it!
Beautiful writing. I lost my mom to cancer a few years ago, she was in her early 70s and I still miss her desperately and find myself in shambles some days. I’m not quite ready to read this but I’m glad it exists and may pick it up one day <3
Oh gosh I just realized this is a personal essay. Very sorry for what you are going through. Wishing you strength and healthy days ahead.
Dear Catherine, you have the gift of recognising, and giving words to, truths that are invisible to me until the moment you give them form. When reading your books, I feel the deep comfort of feeling seen and not being alone even though I think our lives are very different. Thank you for your beautiful and courageous work that you so generously share with the world. Sending you strength and grit to manage this x
Oh Catherine, I love you so, all these years. Such wonderful writing about the good things and the hard things. I just went online to look: I’ve been making that green dip ever since you posted it 20 years ago. Sending all best.
I care very much if you live or die, Catherine Newman.
same same same
Amen!
So much yes to this chorus. You are an incredibly beautiful human. The world is lucky to have you in it. Sending you a hug from far away.
Amen 🙏🏽❤️🥹
We love you, Catherine. ❤️
Everyone in my family knows there is a new Catherine Newman book coming out. They know because they group hugged me when I finished We All Want Impossible Things and was sobbing in bed while on holidays with them. And they know that Sandwich is my favourite book of hers. Catherine you are a treasure and I hope you are okay x
Is this an excerpt from the novel or a personal essay?
A personal essay xo
Thank you so much for this question. I had it, too, and that was terribly distressing. Knowing it is not fiction, while very sad and concerning, is somehow less terrible than wondering if it is fiction. I’m visiting my mama right now, helping her with some stuff around the house before winter makes it hard to get to each other, so I just put a task on my calendar for the day I return home which says HANG A PRAYER FLAG FOR CATHERINE NEWMAN. Which I shall do at my window-which-is-also-an-altar next week. Long ago I was taught of a study that said people who prayed for healed faster, but only if they knew, so I tell people. And me, I myself don’t think anyone is listening, but I do think everything hears, and I believe that it matters when I stand at my window and light candles and sing to the trees and the sky and say LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. You are a gem of a human being and so very loved, Catherine. I lived in the SFBA for 25 years and am about your age, which means we probably have a friend in common somewhere, or went to the same concert once, or shared a dentist, or sat on either side of a restaurant having brunch some time. I always like to imagine that when I read your posts and think about how I adore your love of life: we’re probably just a smidge apart! May you have much more of life. May you find answers. May they be gentle. May you keep laughing and know how precious you are for all your breathing days.
Dahlia, thank you for telling me about that study. I am praying for you Catherine!!!!
Couldn’t love you more, Catherine! An absolute joy to hear you speak at the Boston Book Festival this weekend. And thank you for writing about this! I spent two years in my late twenties trying to figure out a diagnosis for my health issues, and it was such an anxiety inducing, earth rattling process. Comforting to know I’m not alone.
Just checked my library account and I’m #16 out of 29 on the hold list! Can’t wait to read it and know it will be another favorite :)
I’m 14 out of 22 copies right now !
I grew up in Massachusetts and now live far away with my own spouse and kids. I have been gone for half of my lifetime. There is something, though, about Catherine’s writing that makes me feel at home in ways that are hard to describe. In my head, I hear the voices of my elementary school teachers, my music teachers, friends’ mothers, and librarians: women who suffer no fools, mince no words, and love ferociously. There is that rare combination of power and gentleness that I so aspire to.
Yes. This. She makes me feel like I am home in New England with the women who raised me.
I love Catherine Newman.
Oh, Catherine. Your writing is a vibrant, vivid universe.
You always break my heart into a million pieces Catherine Newman. <3
I don’t know if I can woman up and read this. I know I will, but how much sobbing should I be prepared for on a scale of 1-10? Love your voice and your work, CN. Big hugs.
Came here to admit the same <3
Gorgeous writing
I must have caught this the moment it was posted. Honored to be among the first ones to comment *absolutely stunning* and I can’t wait to read the whole thing <3
I didn’t know why I loved this writing so much until I got to the end and saw the book cover!! I have had Wreck on pre-order for months and it just shipped yesterday. Cannot wait to devour it. Catherine is a glowing ball of actual sunlight herself.