Have a Delicious Weekend.

My husband went to kiss me goodbye super early one morning while I was still mostly/half asleep. My response? “I want a Kenny Loggins birthday cake”. Neither of us knows to this day what the heck that means but we still laugh about the absurdity.

hahahahahahahaha did you get your birthday cake?!? That is hilarious.

omg…

Wow, I would not have been thrilled about that

I was mortified Sara B. The dream was wack, all my dreams are. Thankfully the analysis was absurd so aside from the weird overstep from my friend I didn’t have lingering feelings about it.

Definitely get the lamb ribs and cabbage date salad from Eyval!

Brooklyn Heights is a really pretty neighborhood to walk around and sit by the pier. Then eat at Al Badawi!

My favorite of hers is Father of the Rain, although I have not read Heart the Lover yet.

Agreed! Such a wonderful collection of stories.

I sweated just a little when I read Jo’s weekend plans so you’re not being weird alone ;)

That made me feel very stressed also!!

you are so sweet, anon! thank you for your note xoxo

I will definitely listen to this, Bryn! I think about the Kid Logic episode (“Kids using perfectly logical arguments and arriving at perfectly wrong conclusions”) and the Libraries as Rooms of Requirement on a weekly basis. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/605/kid-logic https://www.thisamericanlife.org/664/the-room-of-requirement

I mean, different people can afford different things. Cup of Jo has never really been a frugal living blog and it’s a cute hotel!

Around NYC, high priced hotels sometimes stand in for a mini break. So, you pay for a night in a hotel and then use the days on each side to do fun, less expensive things. So, instead of paying 200-300 to fly or go by train somewhere, you go nearby for a shorter thing at the same cost. I took my husband to a spa hotel for his birthday and it was expensive, but $300 of that was the spa.

And also two people paying their share is 50% of that number (much like rent or a mortgage are if there are multiple people sharing them). And also people save up for things that matter most to them.

There is always room for a book !!

One of the great things about being in love in sitting in quietude next to someone and being both in your own world (a book), and cozy in their company.

The thought of not having a book available on a trip makes me anxious. This comment is probably meant to be jokey but it’s reading as kind of weird to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thank you for sharing this! I loved it!!

Gave me shivers, how lovely!

Hi Melinda, I finished it last week and dying to chat about it too. Blood, Bones & Butter is an all-time favorite food/memoir. I am still trying to figure out what I thought about this one…

light neutral! xo

Hahahahaha

cracking up lol

Hahahaha

I understand your viewpoint. Hopefully it makes you feel better to know that all the bears in my zoo (the one in the linked photo) are rescued from the wild and were deemed – by Forest Service personnel – unable to survive unless kept at a monitored facility such as our zoo.

Could not agree more.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The late great Jane Goodall believed well run zoos played an important role in conservation and our fight to save species from the current mass extinction that we are inflicting on the natural world. But I also understand your sentiment and feel especially for certain species who would be better off in well managed protected areas. I work in international forest conservation and think about this a lot – it’s just heart breaking what we are doing to our planet ❤️

Thank you for saying this.

Thank you for this. I believe one day we will look back on zoos and gasp at the cruelty of imprisoning feeling, thinking, complex beings (as are we all) for entertainment, education, science, conservation… Even zoos that rescue animals deemed unable to survive in the wild are committing egregious wrongs. Survival is subjective and length of life does not equate to depth or quality. It is laughable and sad to look around and then hear humans so convinced we have The answers to what makes life worthwhile for another living being.

Honestly who cares what Jane Goodall thought? She was nothing but a “White Savior” and we need to stop making heros of these people. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPkwuU3jW2T/

I agree! Does keeping giraffes here in my corner of Indiana benefit any wildlife in Africa, where their habitat is being destroyed? Does having a bear pacing in its cage benefit any bears in the wild?

I’m with you, Sasha in Montana. Rachel, that is VERY good to hear but I think zoo’s are not at all clear on that message, and unless that fact is VERY well advertised with signage all over every exhibit as the Zoo’s primary reason for being, then it does nothing to educate the public. I avoid zoo’s after my first experience as a child, where I was overcome with sadness at how contained all these wild creatures were. But I did have to go to one recently for work (visit supervisor for foster kids), and while the Seattle zoo is wonderful, I had to put aside that same sadness, especially with one very old and solitary elephant. Just knowing how social they are and that this one had so much time locked up was heartbreaking. But perhaps they were a rescue and would not have lived long otherwise, and hopefully they had a happy life. How do we know if we are being cruel or not by prolonging their life? Death is not always the worst thing.

Rachel, I appreciate this viewpoint. I wonder if some are “problem” bears as well? Bears that become habituated to humans, can happen in many ways, and become dangerous to humans and therefore have to be removed. Either way, as harsh as I may sound, I think euthanasia is preferable to life in a (very posh, very pleasing to humans, very natural “looking”) cage. If problem bears, (if not your zoo, definitely others, there’s one in my area that is entirely problem bears), the problems are entirely caused by humans. 100% caused by bad human behavior of those living in bear country. 100% preventable. I like to think the best of humans, and that just maybe, if they knew bears would be euthanized vs “rehomed” to zoos, they might just maybe do better. Where i live it’s a huge issue just with grizzlies and trash. Solutions are so simple, and humans still don’t implement them. Re Jane Goodall. I love her. She’s one of my personal heroes. And I’m positive she knows more than I do about almost everything. I will add, this doesn’t change my mind about bears or wolves. I’ve watched both, just me and my dogs, quietly sitting, for hours, in the wild back country. I can’t even describe the way your heart feels knowing these wild creatures exist out there, that they can live out their lives like they are supposed to. They are free in ways we can’t even imagine. To take that away from them?? To me it’s the same as humans in zoos. Maybe even worse. Finally, these are black bears in this story. They are not endangered. Anywhere in N America that i am aware. They are abundant across the US and could easily be studied for conservation purposes in the wild, where the info gained would actually be useful to the well being of the species. And grizzlies? They have made one of the greatest comebacks of all animals and can also easily (well, kudos to griz researchers, NOTHING they do is easy) in the wild in many places. Their behavior inside a zoo wouldn’t begin to be applicable to their existence in the wild. I appreciate the feedback, I knew what I said would be hard to read and I appreciate the kindness in this community always. I obviously feel strongly about these beautiful animals.

Like Liz, I’ve spent years working in the ecology/conservation biology space (in my case, primarily poaching in developing countries in tropical forests, though some of my colleagues work in North American forests, marine systems, etc.). And like Liz, I appreciate the role that zoos play, and the science, teaching, and conservation work that zoos are involved in. There *is* useful science that comes out of animals in captivity–some of which conservationist biologists can use to argue for better protection of these animals in their natural habitats. Of course, not all zoos are created equal. But the reality is that a lot of folks–in Montana and around the world–do not want to these animals to cohabitate with themselves (and their livestock). Or they want to put their habitats to other use, be it for subsistence or legal/illegal profit. For an increasing number of species (we’re in the Holocene extinction), zoos serve as refugia. Working in the field, reading weekly updates about mass forest losses, species extinctions, etc., I’d rather see these animals in a non-ideal environment than see them go extinct. It’s easy to criticize folks doing this hard, poorly-funded work. It’s much harder to put in the work to move the needle on real conservation measures, even locally or at the state level.

I’m going to add orca, beluga, pilot whales and dolphins to this list. To put an intelligent animal that can travel100 miles in a day into essentially a closet is beyond cruel.

Hear hear!!

Anon, you bring up a good point, funding for conservation. Many zoos are multi million dollar operations. Tickets and season passes are very very expensive (and I guess this bring up class issues too- education about animals for some), I would love to see all of that money go to people like you, wildlife biologists etc, in the field, doing the hard work of saving animals in their natural habitats.i worked for a conservation org, The Greater Yellowstone Coalition, a group that was instrumental in bringing wolves back to YNP, and later in keeping grizzlies listed. A whole department of our group was fund raising. We relied on people like Ted Turner and Jane Fonda for funding. I encourage folks to find groups like this in your local area and donate, esp maybe what you would’ve spent at a zoo or their gift shop. Or pick a group that is helping animals that you care deeply about, somewhere else in the world. Let’s not make zoos their last refuge.

Replying to Olma’s comment directly: Calling Jane Goodall a “white savior” isn’t critical thinking. It’s reactionary and erases decades of legitimate scientific work. She didn’t show up to “save” anyone; she transformed primatology and later used her platform to support African-led conservation and education. Reducing her to her skin color while ignoring her collaboration, humility, and impact is its own form of prejudice. We can acknowledge colonial history without rewriting it into blanket resentment.

Jane Goodall was a scientist and used her platform to advocate for conservation, education and sustainable development that benefited countless people. She was a force for good. What have you, Olma from the Cup of Jo comment section, done for the world? I hear you tearing someone down because of the color of their skin. Interesting that all the people who actually work in conservation are here defending zoos and poeple who work tirelesly in this field because we understand

….Interesting that all the people who actually work in conservation are here defending zoos – people who work tirelessly in this field because we understand how bad it is out there for animals, the natural world and therefore our very well being. Signed, I guess another white savior who is trying to do some good in the world but will probably be laid off soon because my non-profit environmental org can’t survive Trump’s development cuts. You win, Olma.

I’m surprised and a bit disappointed to see that a comment calling Jane Goodall a “White Savior” was approved for printing. Not what I’ve come to expect here. Dolly Parton has also been called a White Savior, (although it didn’t happen here). Her offense? Donating over 300 MILLION books to young children. I’m wondering if Mr. Rogers is next.

Okay, now I am of course wanting to google the photographer if you’re in the mood to name drop…?! Also, what are the chances you’d be wearing the same outfit as her!

Kim, you are RAD.

Okay so it sounds like I feel the same way about plastic surgery as you, but I also feel like making the comparison to a woman choosing what to do with her body and a man being a ‘flaming misogynist’ is a false equivalence. I’m sorry if it comes off like I’m nitpicking but women, especially women in the spotlight, have a tough go of it as it is.

I don’t know if she had work done, and really, neither do you. She doesn’t look like it to me…and people who are in the public eye 24/7 are not the same as the rest of us, despite what we might think. Why would you even give it a second thought? I understand your philosophy, but why extend it to Emma?

Kim, that was the universe/God letting you know you are equal to Gwenyth and do not need to idolize her, lol. She’s pretty and a smart business woman, as are many privileged people, and so are you.

I need to know the outfit!!

Gregory Crewdson. The series shot at my friends house was entitled “dream house.” Shhhh, now you know my deepest darkest secret!! 😆

I am allowed to have opinions about anything I want. I am a grown woman, and it’s not as if I’m on her social media making comments. I think it is disappointing when a young woman who looks amazing as is, has a facelift. How is that a problematic opinion? I said it was disappointing, not anything else as a slight on her personality or character. I am so sorry it has offended you. A lot of women out there wish celebs would use less fillers and surgeries, and I’m one of them. I didn’t say it was the same as a misogynist, I meant it’s the same level of disappointment that I have when an artist or rockstar I admire turns out to be a flaming misogynist.

How are people in the spotlight not the same as us? I literally wrote three sentences about my opinion on facelifts, and you’re being rude. I thought this was the COJ comment section where I could share my not uncommon opinions. Silly me!

Kim, the paradox of the comment section is that everyone gets to express their opinions too. No one person’s perspective is sacred, and this often becomes a conversation. The way I read it, individuals personalized, took responsibility for, and contextualized their responses, without making accusations.

😂😂 I was wondering how long the “little secret” would take until someone asked for the photog and the reveal.

Well, it’s still a secret because you don’t know who I am. 😂😂

I agree with you Kim. A couple years ago I was shocked and saddened to hear people in their 20s and 30s get Botox. It was on this site that I was enlightened about it. Yeah it makes me sad too. Any age really but youngsters especially.

Oh my gosh, Kay from Queens, I love every lat bit of your weekend! –Emily from Oklahoma

Last. Every last bit. Ug! :)

Loved that book, enjoy!

Same, same. I’m the person asking for more details when someone tells their dream story – I hope we end up at the same party someday!

hahahaha! So true

This was me in bed this morning trying to explain a Shirley Jackson story I was reading to my husband. He was trying valiantly to remain engaged. Such a grasping feeling!

Agreed. I felt downright queasy listening to that episode.

I listened to the episode after seeing that comment and was certain I was listening to the wrong one. I didn’t find any humor in it at all. I guess a good for her not for me moment …

Agreed! Just listened to it after the recommendation here. Smiled a few times, frowned more.

Once I realized what that first act was about, I had to skip to the end. It was horrifying and sad. Not at all funny.

I also thought that episode was kind of depressing. At the same time, I was somewhat heartened by how ridiculously bad the AI was at communicating. It gave me hope.

I just finished it, I had saved it for after I put my kids to bed tonight so I could fight off the Sunday scaries with some laughs before my own bedtime. I completely agree with your comment- it made me feel nauseous and uncomfortable. I can’t think of one funny part- my husband, who is significantly less emotional and sensitive than I am, also found it disheartening. I need to watch something else so I don’t go to bed dreaming about AI and those empty voices. Maybe a robot left the original comment?

Omg same. I double checked that I had the right one like 5x waiting for it to be funny. So depressing.

Just finished it, and same! I giggled at the way the robot talked to the frustrated scammers and their reactions, but beyond that I am confused about what was so funny? Granted, I find phone conversations awkward even between humans (those silences while you wait for the other person to talk OR talking at the same time accidentally!), buuuut I mostly felt uncomfortable listening to that episode.

Same! The part where his friend gets concerned about him (the AI version) made me tear up. Though also gave me a little hope that AI will never be replicate the ineffable stuff that makes us human. Parts were funny to me too though, like when he scams the scammers.

I stopped within 25 seconds when the guy said something about “maybe you have messed around with how your voice sounds in AI” or something like that. And literally said out loud to my dog, “who the hell has time to figure out what my voice sounds like in AI and if I did have the time, I wouldn’t spend it doing that!” She was equally confused.

Andrea me too! I force my self not to have those thoughts or I wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Same and I hate that for me.

SAME, Andrea, same. Thankfully, it hasn’t stopped me from travelling, but I wish I wasn’t this way!

Wait…. I have traveled so much and stayed in so many hotels, etc. – and this thought has NEVER crossed my mind! It’s blowing my mind that I’ve never considered prior sleepers in the same bed lol

Me too! And it’s kind of getting in the way of me enjoying traveling these days. I do prefer renting houses over hotels but am also finding myself eyeballing travel trailers. Friends just bought one and met us in Canada last month. They stopped at the coolest sounding campgrounds across the country and hiked around! She mentioned how much she likes sleeping in her own bed in the travel trailer.

Hard agree! Her titles remind me of the Liz Lemon quote from 30 rock on: “that word bums me out unless it’s between meat and pizza”

100% agree, the titles put me in mind of romance novels that I do not want to read. And I say this as a writer who is TERRIBLE at my own titles.

Yes sad kow Roseanne Barbis now but her entire show was hilarious. It came out the year my daughter was born. I remember watching it with my husband when she was a baby and throughout her childhood. Then watched it countless times with her since. We quote hilarious classic lines from all the episodes. The show was genius. Then The Conners came out. What happened to everyone ? They became caracatures of themselves, especially Jackie. And she is a tony award winning actor. Anyway yeah the Halloween episodes were great. But I like all the rest of them even more. Can’t for the life of me explain what happened to Roseanne Barr though. :(

Sorry for the typos and spelling error in my post. I’m exhausted on this Friday eve. Obviously I did not proofread :(

I LOVE hearing other people’s dreams!! I’m always so surprised to hear other people don’t enjoy it. Feel free to post some weird ones here and I will happily read them, no matter the length!

I recently had one of those dreams where you’re partially awake. I sat up, woke my husband up, told him someone was in the house, and promptly fell back asleep. Sorry honey, love you!

Ok Cat NO no need to do it solo. I love hearing about other peoples dreams, it fascinates me endlessly. So funny, cause just earlier today on a semi-work call my friend told me his super weird dream about his weird dream house in the middle of a forest, and it went on for a good couple of minutes and I was hooked! Tell me more! Where were you? Did you see yourself like in a movie or were you watching with your own eyes? What about the trees? Was it winter/fall? Wait, your dad showed up in the dream as well? Doing what? How was he? I mean – it’s like your second secret life, I wanna know it all. So yes, Cat, please, do share!

I’m generally a very vivid dreamer but when I was pregnant it was next level. A girl and a bear fall in love, but know they can’t be together. Donald Trump holds a rally in my town and at the end puts on a Darth Vader mask and rides away on a Razor Scooter. It was truly bananas. You should write all yours down! Dream details are FASCINATING. I’ll take the thirty minute explanation over the three sentence summary any day.

Oh my gosh, the pregnancy dreams! They were INSANE! Mine ranged from racing my much-older aunt to another state to inform a man, not my husband, that I was having his child. My aunt was in love with him. To being at a conference with my lovely gay boss. He then hit on me. And the last was watching an I-kid-you-not phallic tornado come over a glass house I was hiding in. They were WILD. You can tell me, Cat, in as many words as you like!

I also enjoy hearing people’s dreams! They are fascinating.

I’m also in an unrecognizable postpartum body. It’s such a hard time. Solidarity, sister.

Loooooved that soundtrack! Brings back vivid memories of sitting in my lime-green-painted bedroom senior year of college. You just inspired me to listen to it!

I live in northern MN and I had the same thought. Cute, but no.

Same here in Maine. Currently looking for a full-length puffer anything to walk the dog in. And will pair with high-tall boots!

Same!!!!!!

agreed

Not me! I’m fascinated by others’ dreams as well as my own. I’m a vivid, lucid dreamer that often wakes up exhausted from hours long dream adventures (my brain feels tired from all of it), and the imagery will haunt me for weeks sometimes. I have a disorder called Harm OCD that manifested in nightmares for many years (I’m better now), but those dreams absolutely consumed me. When people say they don’t remember their dreams…… this is mind blowing to me.

Last night I dreamt my dad was taking me to school, and every time I came down the stairs some kind of home renovation worker would spill something (water, paint, cleaner) on me and I’d have to go change. I was remembering actual outfits from HS, that was fun. And just hearing my dad’s voice hollering at me “Suz, we’re gonna be late!” And then “we’re 10 minutes late!” ” we’re 20 minutes late!”, was so comforting (he’s gone now, but very often visits in my dreams)

It’s ok M A. Tons of people love hearing about dreams. One thing I dislike hearing about is others’ highly personal pet peeves poorly conceived as a generally accepted social expectation that’s somehow being gaffled by a large swath of the population. It’s not cute.

Ana, I hope I’m understanding you correctly. I disagreed with so many of the pet peeves I had to stop reading because I was starting to feel like “wow, are we all just cranky jerks here?” And I don’t actually think that’s correct. But reading comment after comment just felt like it. And then I thought, oh, each contributor doesn’t agree with all of these either. We all have a few (hopefully just a few) things that really bother us. I’m not sure it’s helpful to compile everyone’s like that, as if, ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE TERRIBLE, DON’T DO THEM. Rather, look how human we all are. We all get annoyed. We are all annoying.

Everyone doesn’t, that was only one person’s opinion. I don’t mind it. Dreams can be great sources of insight and inspiration. I’ve had some dreams that were very powerful, and I love the ones where I am flying.

Yes, precisely that Sasha in Montana.