Five Fun Things
Last month, I got hooked on RÕZ’s Milk Hair Serum. Applied to damp hair, the lightweight serum keeps hair silky and defined, even on rainy days. (And it smells so clean!) Sometimes I think products aren’t worth it, but this one makes a huge difference. If you’d like to see for yourself, good news: RÕZ just launched a try-before-you-buy program, where you can try up to four full-size products and only pay for what you keep (shipping’s free, too). What would you go for? I’m also into this root-lift spray, which adds bouncy volume and refreshes hair between washes. Bonus for all readers: RÕZ is offering Cup of Jo readers 15% off all products, even when you use their try-before-you-buy program, with code COJ15, good until October 31st.
My aunt Lulu sent a photo of her garden after the rain. Who else wants to beam themselves there and feel the fresh sea air on our faces?
Did you see the preteen boy podcast on SNL? They absolutely nailed it! Bro!!!!!!
I need a new winter coat, and once I spotted this woman walking in Soho, I’ve narrowed my search to a belted wool one. Any recommendations? This and this are the closest I can find for now.
Finally, the boys love mac n’ cheese (who doesn’t?), so I just load it up with vegetables — broccoli, peas, sweet potato, whatever we have left over or in the freezer. Such an easy dinner, and always delicious.
What have you been enjoying lately? I’d love to hear. I’m on the last chapter of The Bee Sting and want it to last forever!!
P.S. More fun things, and what has made you laugh lately?
(This post was sponsored by RoZ Hair. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Cup of Jo.)
Tags: fun things
Comments
206 commentsApologies if someone else has already suggested this caot, but in London the Ted Baker “Rose” coat with cashmere is a favourite. I recommend trying to buy it on resale because it’s a classic and been around for ages. Make sure you get the one with cashmere blended in with the wool It is soft, shockingly warm for its weight, has beautiful lining, comes in so many happy colours and is such a feminine elegant beautiful cut.
AHHHHHH The Bee Sting ending – magnificent!
Buyer beware on the ROZ products. Their “free” try-before-you-buy still means you pay shipping plus a $10 restocking fee if you decide not to keep the product. I was looking forward to the hair serum. Unfortunately, the scent was too strong for me simply upon opening the bottle, and I didn’t use it at all. Also unfortunately, I didn’t see prior to ordering that allllll the way at the bottom of their website they tell you it’s not really free, after all. I get to pay $10+return shipping for nothing.
Another buyer beware on Roz! I too tried their products after seeing them on CoJ, and I too disliked them ( I have very fine/thin hair and live in an extremely humid climate). Only to find the return process for the try before you buy process to be very complicated with multiple emails to email to return (rather than a simple form/return code etc). This is the first time I’ve experienced problems with something Joanna has recommended on her blog and it was very disappointing, especially given the high price tag of the product.
So sorry to hear that Amanda We appreciate you letting us know and will pass that feedback along to the RoZ team.
UPDATE: They just contacted me! They released the hold on my card and said to give it to someone, that they don’t want me to ship it back. Good news and good customer service!!
I purchased the Roz hair serum per Joanna’s recommendation and really disliked the product too. I so wanted to like it but the scent is not for me. Unnatural and way too floral. It also left my hair feeling dry, when I’ve never had that problem before.
I love a long belted coat! Everything looks better with it. Once a stylist said it looks like a bathrobe..meh…well I think it is chich – just be sure to buy a very good quality one. Nice stiching, nice lining etc. This is mine (in navy) , I bought it 2 years ago, absolutely excellent quality. The fabric is 100% wool and also doesn’t attract cat fur :-) which is a must having two cats. https://www.stories.com/en-gb/product/voluminous-belted-wool-coat-navy-1083959002/
I’m late to the wool coat convo – but I just got this chore coat and love it. Someone asked for a fall coat and this one is a winner I think. https://anianmfg.com/collections/womens-outerwear/products/the-georgia-coat
I LOVE Anian! I got the Loft Coat in dark green two years ago and I feel legitimately sad when the weather gets too warm to wear it. Now I’m saving up for the Cashmino crewneck sweater! https://anianmfg.com/products/the-loft-coat
I’ve been loving …….mixing my Tower 28 foundation sunscreen with Cover Girl foundation with sunscreen (I can only find it on amazon in a white tube). I need the coverage of the Tower, and the matte of CG to tone down the dewy of the other. I’m in my 50s and this dewy look only highlights my skin’s flaws. Also loving the book Wild, Dark Shore. And the return of soup for dinner!
In this political climate I’m actually so triggered by white teen and tween boys, you couldn’t pay me to watch that skit.
Hi Roxie, I understand where you are coming from in our current situation, but as a high school teacher, I truly see the sweetness of teenage boys every day. They are contending with a lot and some are making very bad choices for sure, but they are not the red-pilled monolith the media too often presents. I am often surprised by their vulnerability and the care they show to others.
ESyl, I could not agree more.
Aw, Roxie, you’re missing out! All the ones I know are so interesting and fun to be around. This skit made me smile with joy because it’s such a cute age where they’re asserting themselves but still very childlike in a lot of ways. I hope, for your sake, that you get to experience the wonder that is any tween/teen boy….and that maybe even someone pays you to watch the skit haha :)
What of hope if we write off this portion of our population who are also deserving of love and care? Perhaps this is the exact root of the problem we find ourselves in with so many boys feeling lost and alone, depressed and angry. Can we not instead embrace and hold and attend to all humans? The world will be a better place if we do.
But no one said 6/7 on the podcast skit! Still funny though.
I had the same thought!! I have a 10yo boy at home, and it comes up WAY too often ha.
did you see this???? https://www.dictionary.com/e/word-of-the-year-2025/
The SNL podcast bit has me dead (ded?). “A tomato is like if an apple were a girl” why is that so funny? I actually laughed out loud and scared my dog.
LOL 😆
Sabrina Carpenter as a middle school boy was lowkey fire.
So do you use the oribe matte waves AND the milk serum or do you just choose one? I’m hair hopeless but if there is a one-product-air-dry technique I am all ears!
I was using Oribe, but I’ve switched to the milk serum!
I really love my Zara wool coat. It looks chic but is also warm (important for Michigan). Mine is a few years old, but here is one similar to what you are looking for, Joanna. https://www.zara.com/us/en/zw-collection-wool-blend-coat-p08493754.html?v1=490638373&v2=2419016
Watching that SNL bit, I thought: do kids only use 5 total words now? Is that new? And then I thought back to the 00’s, (when I was in middle school) and how every other word out of every boy’s mouth was “dude,” “sweet” (good), or “gay” (derogatory). So yeah, it’s the age. Nice that they don’t seem to be casually slurring any groups of people anymore.
My opinion on belted coats (I love them) that no one asked for, but I think is correct, is that there needs to be enough coat below the belted bit to balance the weight of the coat above the belt. Like, it should for sure be long enough to cover your butt, but ideally go to just above the knees or longer. Belted coats that are awkwardly short are, well, awkward. I’m not talking about a fitted jacket with some belted peplum action; that’s lovely. I’m not hating on leather jackets that have a belt along the lower hem, or 80’s style jackets in that particular corner either. They all have their place. I mean a big, wool, winter coat. The belt should be in the middle or slightly higher than the top half of the whole shape it makes.
Yes. This feels very true to my needs and experience also.
I still have a beautiful wool navy blue pea coat from the late 90s, just hanging in my closet because it’s a little dressy and I just wear down puffers now. But this inspires me to wear it again this winter for special occasions. It looks so elegant with a pashmina scarf tucked in. I know it’s trendy to get rid of every single item of clothing that doesn’t fit perfectly this second, or is no longer very fashionable, or noisy doesn’t mesh with a perfect capsule wardrobe. But this is why I hold on to at least some things. It feels like minimalism to get rid…. but I think it’s actually capitalist plot to just sell more. All those cute 90s clothes?? Wouldn’t i be so excited if I’d saved them all? Overalls? Wide leg pants? Low rise jeans? I’ve already owned them all, decades ago. Unless it’s actually worn out, or I just plain hate it, I just hold on to things now. 2 sizes up, 2 sizes down. Future me will be so grateful. Also grateful for a tiny house, but which happens to have a full crawl space under for storage. I just keep what I’m currently wearing in my tiny closet.
I am with you on this.
There are three pairs of shoes I wish I’d kept: Bass penny loafers, Oxford wingtips, and pointed tow ballet flats. Now that I’ve learned this the hard way I’m with you!
My chic and naturally glam friend (my Gemma, if we use characters from the CoJ cinematic universe) taught me to use a micro puffer, like the Patagonia nano puff, underneath my good coats! It’s a game changer for wearing cute coats in the cold.
Katie, my sister swears by that trick also!
I’ve been enjoying evening walks…..I’ve come across three bunnies, beautiful fall foliage, a harvest moon. and big fluffy golden clouds! Earrings from @haricortvert…they are in Brooklyn Jo…check em out!
I saw the musical “Come From Away” last night and it was INCREDIBLE. I didn’t know the story prior to seeing that it was coming to our local theater and they did such a good job of capturing a full spectrum of emotions. Can’t stop thinking about it. At Jo’s suggestion recently I tried the Il Makiage foundation and have been enjoying it so far! I have similar skin type and tone to Jo so I try pretty much everything she suggests (or tells us Gemma suggests!).
I’m so glad to hear that, Emily!
Come From Away is incredible. (And they have a film of the original Broadway version on Apple TV! :D)
Come From Away is soooo good!
That skit is based on a real podcast!! MDFoodieBoyz https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQAAShcjpRm/
Dear Joanna, last year I bought a navy blue woolen cape from the 50s in a beautiful vintage shop. I felt like a movie star for the whole winter. People complimented many times, and I loved feeling like a nurse from Call the midwife or an elegant woman from the resistance. Here is looking at you, cape. Love from Paris
ooh I love this!
Lots of Max Mara in the comments, which I enthusiastically second, especially from the resale market! Plus, a ~your mileage may vary~ rec: Intrend is Max Mara’s offlabel/surplus outlet, and can be a great way to try Max Mara coats (or Sportsmax, Max Mara Studio, etc.) at a much lower price! Recommendation is tempered by the fact that (in my experience) that the customer service/returns process is so convoluted it is nearly Sisyphean, so you have to be fairly sure of sizing, but you can usually look up the product code and find the original coat on Max Mara or department store sites, which will have more detailed measurements. e.g.: This alpaca/cashmere-blend wrap coat: https://at.intrend.it/p-8016324005009-2borbone-camel Which is actually an ‘S Max Mara coat (the Borbone) from a past season, if you look at the product code: https://www.theoutnet.com/en-us/shop/product/-s-max-mara/coats/classic/borbone-alpaca-wool-and-cashmere-blend-coat/46376663162910808 This unlined wool robe coat: https://at.intrend.it/p-5016014106064-eris-sand Which is the Weekend Max Mara Eris coat: https://www.farfetch.com/shopping/women/weekend-max-mara-eris-coat-item-26552052.aspx This silk-lined wool coat: https://at.intrend.it/p-9016044306026-poldo-ice Which is past-season colors of the Max Mara Poldo coat: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/poldo-belted-virgin-wool-long-wrap-coat/8336832
oh wow thank you!!!!!
Of course I love the last one most…sob…
Well I’m clearly late to the show, but yes, the classic belted coats is Max Mara for me. I have never been without a couple of different ones on my wardrobe over the past 30(!!!) years! They stay beautiful for a long time, and are so elegant ALWAYS. I couldn’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve been complimented on my coats. My beloved sister in law that was a very successful high end clothing designer used to spot my best coats every single time. « you look like a million bucks! » wow I miss her… breast cancer is a f@# »&!
This is incredible intel! I’ve been jonesing for a Max Mara coat for over a decade, but the cost is out of reach. I’m in Europe so hoping the Intrend ordering will be easy, thanks for the rec!
I read the Bee Sting last year (or was it two years ago) when it was shortlisted for the Booker (is this a controversial take but I think I liked it more than The Prophet, which won). Then earlier this year I read Skippy Dies by the same author and it was also SO GOOD. Highly recommend! Currently, The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny is scratching the long epic family novel itch for me!
I wanted to try ROZ but it doesn’t ship to Canada :( Any Canadians have recommendations for a milk serum that’s good for frizzy curly hair?
Hi Jessica, Canadians can order Roz products at detoxmarket.ca
If you’re in Toronto, Health Hut on Dundas has it too (https://shophealthhut.com/products/roz-milk-hair-serum?_pos=1&_psq=Roz&_ss=e&_v=1.0). They usually will do little samples if you get something else. Living libations sea buckthorn is what I always run out of! Definitely going to try the roz hair milk beforehand because with the conversion it is spendy. But I have pretty similar hair to Joanna’s so I do want to try it!
The boys they did the parody of are local to us so we have followed them for a while. I am excited for them, they are hilarious. Side note: anyone else getting intrusive ads when trying to comment?
I JUST placed an order with Roz and immediately realized I failed to enter the COJ15 code. I tried to contact them by email and it seems to be impossible to— the email address just bounces you back to the website. So right now I’m a little disappointed by that. But I think the “try before you buy” program is terrific. I have a small closet of products that never worked for me. A real waste of money and since I already tried them, I feel weird about donating them. I guess I should try to get over that, since there’s still a lot of product left. Joanna, please let us know about other programs like this if you come across them. And thank you for this one. Next time I will try to order more carefully!
we’ll help with this, Silly Lily! Stay tuned for an email from us to you :)
Silly Lilly, I love a beauty box (allure, testtube, whatever) but there is no way I can keep all of it. So when I get together with my friends, I bring a box of stuff that I don’t want to keep. They love to try stuff, or my friends with tween/teen daughters will take it. I say let your friends pick through the stuff!
Silly Lily, This might be a few days late to be seen, but do you have a local Buy Nothing group on facebook? I live in Brooklyn, and I’m an avid Buy Nothing contributor. If a product that I have bought and used has more than half the bottle left, and I don’t like it anymore, I will put it up on Buy nothing, and so far, someone has picked up everything I have offered. I think on this group, there is a small amount of accountability because you can see people’s facebook profile pics, and you know that it is coming from an individual, versus finding an open bottle of something at a rummage sale.
I have a wool belted coat I got from Hobbs London last year. Not sure if they ship to the US, but I really love it. It’s a pretty burgundy color. Major bonus points for them having petite sizes for us short ladies. Makes me look so much more put together than a non-petite option.
Please more of Lulu & her wonderful world in Cornwall❤️ She is one of my favorite people & I hope you feature her again soon! Thank you, Clay Terry (I’m female but named after my great grandfather)
What an epically great name you have! I agree, MORE LULU! just in case this is your cup of tea, the fabulous pod cast After Dark (British and Irish historians explore dark and spooky episodes from history), just dropped an episode that is centered in Cornwall. Extra spooky vibes and a really fun listen that made me feel like I was there. Definitely not Lulu’s blue sky and flowers, more like dark and stormy night and Agatha Christie stops by to tell a ghost story.
Lots of fancy brands, and fast fashion brands of coats and jackets to choose from. May I suggest, you go vintage, or second hand? I volunteer at a wonderful charitable thrift store, In a somewhat affluent, though non fashionable city (Boulder). The donations we get are astounding! I spend about four hours a week pricing vintage clothing, and do research along the way. The easiest site to search is eBay. Pick a brand you like, and choose all of your parameters. For condition, choose preowned, location, USA (for ease in shipping). You could snap up a one of a kind vintage coat! You can even check the box for “benefits charity”! Think of the brands that are of great quality and style now, but also the ones that were great back in the day. Max Mara, yes, but also LL Bean, Ralph Lauren, and Pendleton. My Mom was all about Liz Claiborne in the 80’s. What was your Mom’s dream coat? You can find it! Why look like everyone else?
This is a great reminder. I’m always ASTONISHED by the quality of stuff that finds its way to ebay! I need designers/brands in mind when I’m looking since I get overwhelmed but I do wonder what sort of wonders would appear for belted wool coats!
Lisa, I’ll be in Boulder over thanksgiving when visiting family in Golden. Would love to check out your thrift store! Can you share the name?
Yesss, Lisa! Not including undergarments, about 95% of my wardrobe has been secondhand since childhood. I love everything about thrift shopping – even the cleaning and repairing – though it’s admittedly nice when the latter isn’t necessary. I’ve received loads of nice compliments about my clothing, and when I tell them the backstory, about half of the commenters tell me they “can’t/never find anything/lack the time/etc.” I have to hold my tongue! Sure, disabled/immunocompromised folks can’t always make it to the thrifts, but the online shops are wonderful if you find the right ones for you. Small business owners survive on passion! For everyone else? Please check out the physical shops! Will you find something every time you go? Probably not. But if you persist, you’ll find absolute treasure. And every single stop trains your eye! You’ll learn about quality and your own taste, apart from the trends. I promise there are diverse clothing sizes, too! At least here in Canada!
Hi all, the thrift store I volunteer in benefits our local Hospice. They were angels for me and my family during my most difficult times. I will be forever grateful, and decided one way I could help them raise funds is with my time, and my knowledge of fashion/clothing. We’d love to see everyone who might be in the area! https://www.trucare.org/truthriftshop/
Thanks for sharing Lisa! I’m in the area and excited to check it out!
Lisa, you are an angel!! Thank you for volunteering and helping hospice. Our family has benefited too. We love thrift in our family too. Bozeman, MT and I laughed out loud at your description of Boulder. Yep! Same! We visit family in Park City Utah, and same there, only uber duber more so! In Bozeman you can even find nice things on the side of the street. People keep boxes out by the side walk and fill with give aways. I scored the most beautiful cherry red Columbia jacket just down from my daughters house. Perfectly new. I love your sentiment, why look like everyone else, so so so much. One of the gifts of being older, I think, is really being more ok with being unique and interesting vs trendy or fashionable in the usual sense or current. You are free to wear what you really love, what really suits you, what you’ve had for decades. Fast fashion really doesn’t appeal at all, nor does “everyone is talking about this chunky style sweater that costs $450”. It’s so freeing.
here’s a size medium belted wool blend “kimono style” coat in chocolate brown, hope this helps somebody: https://posh.mk/lfSbwYGvLXb
Just bought a pair of Kenneth Cole leather pants from eBay for $25. They are from 2000s and so nicely made. All about 2nd hand clothes from pre private equity times.
Canadians know coats ! High price point but will last forever and it gets Cold up here: https://www.mackage.ca/products/mai-cn
This one is lovely but it does look thin, especially for Canada!
Where is your lovely blue blouse from, Joanna?
thank you! it’s Kule from many years ago xoxo
Last winter I bought a belted, hooded wool coat from Goelia and I really like it; I’d been searching for what I imagined i wanted. It is very soft, oatmeal colored with a felted/brushed feel, and unlined. I had never shopped that brand before but was pleased with customer service and quick shipping. It ran large and long. I usually wear an XL but got a L, and it is still roomy. There are similar ones on their site this year, and I waited for a sale because it was somewhat costly.
Check out Mango for coats! I found a beautiful wool blend black belted coat last winter. Worth a look :)
Those Aritizia wool coats are not lined. I’d go with something a bit nicer. https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=808656002&vid=1&tid=brpl005698&kwid=1&ap=7&ds_agid=21043302137-154352266450&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21043302137&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8s4-aCzad5sgrZ04iMNWPmvs&gclid=CjwKCAjwpOfHBhAxEiwAm1SwEuKIibkC6_waSuv74QAwNc0W3tmyuHj8SSj1E-R-ME-2bx8yyctc2RoCi3MQAvD_BwE#pdp-page-content
I got the Max&Co longrun wool coat last year as a Christmas gift and get so many compliments. It is made of 100% wool, which was very important to me. Highly recommend. Kate Middleton has worn several of these styles!
Obsessed with this one! It’s a lot cheaper in Paris https://us.soeur.fr/products/manteau-harvard-kaki-brun-man0503harvard19wkak22 so if you have a friend there see if they can pick it up for you.
OMG THIISSSSS is absolutely gorgeous . It is exactly what I need to capture that darling French girl look . Long coat, wide legged jeans, luscious cashmere turtlenkec, classy sassy white sneakers, cross body bag, and flowing natural hair, (no cigarettes) and a coffee in a cafe with friends. When do we leave?
the fun things at our house have been Slow Horses, the tv series Ghosts that makes us laugh, and Sterlin Harjo’s latest series The Lowdown with Ethan Hawke – which is so fabulous and fun I can’t believe it, and I could go on and on about it. Also we made Ali Stafford’s Homemade Grandma Style Pizza last week and it was SO GOOD. It takes some advance planning, we started it several days in advance to allow the dough to come together, but we enjoyed the project and anticipation. https://alexandracooks.com/2025/09/27/homemade-grandma-style-pizza/
Slow Horses and The Lowdown are highlights at my house as well. I feel like everyone should be talking about The Lowdown, so many great actors, mysterious, funny, just wonderful!
We love Slow Horses so much as well. Have you read our listened to the books? The series follows them pretty well, but books Jane so much more going on. They are page turners, very intense, funny, so many good zingers, just can’t put them down. The writing is so sharp and witty.
I like the look of this coat, although IMHO even a belted wrap coat should have backup buttons so it holds it’s shape well and keeps the cold out: https://www.alexmill.com/collections/womens-jackets-outerwear/products/georgia-wrap-coat-in-wool-alpaca-in-camel
Credo Beauty is having their friends sale 20% off everything. They specialize in clean beauty. The stock Roz products!
I see people recommending Heart the Lover and I’m so excited because I just read Writers and Lovers by her and could not put it down! Best book I have read in years. I I stopped reading lit fic because I couldn’t find an author I loved and now I have one. Squee!!
Just finished heart the lover and it was INCREDIBLE. But be prepared to ugly cry 😭
You’re in for SUCH a treat! Heart the Lover is *sublime*
I just finished Heart the Lover today, and I wish I’d read or re-read Writers and Lovers recently, as I’d sort of forgotten about it and didn’t connect the dots with this book. I really liked Heart the Lover, didn’t cry but can see why people did. Enjoy it!
Reading Heart the Lover now and love it! Writers and Lovers so good. Also loved Euphoria by Lily King.
It’s so good, Jill. Lucky you. I devoured Heart the Lover.
I really wanted to like heart the lover but didn’t feel like there was much special about it – anyone else? :/
Enjoy that last chapter of the Bee Sting, it was so intense in the most satisfying way! And then read the interview of the author about the ending for some more insight. Pendleton has a few really nice wool belted coats this season, I could see you in the Nob Hill wrap coat!
Last weeks episode of This American Life had me howling with laughter and then I made my daughter listen to it with me and laughed just as hard. It’s called My Other Self—mist about AI. It’s thoughtful and interesting too but the funny parts truly made my week!
I just listened to this and was laughing so much in my car at a light – smacking my wheel – I was probably quite the sight. I need to just become a member – that program is the absolute best!
Me too!!!! Laughing and laughing in my car while listening to it during my commute!
so funny, BUT did anyone also feel so squicked out by the ai bot stuff!? i honestly felt a little sick at the end. such a great episode and one i would LOVE to discuss with other people!
I like this Quince wool trench because the belt is high up on the waist. All quince stuff I’ve bought has been great quality: https://www.quince.com/women/double-faced-merino-wool-trench-coat?color=black&gender=women&tracker=collection_page__%2Fcold-weather-shop%2Fwomen__subcollections-Outerwear__All+Products__36 I died watching the boys podcast. I don’t think kids say “fire” that much anymore. I work at a university and I’m hearing “that’s gas” a lot. Still lots of “no, that’s sus bro!”
Oh my gosh, my 16-year-old daughter made us all watch the preteen boy podcast sketch, and we were all DYING!!! Except my boy who is exactly that age. He laughed a little but not a ton. Turns out it wasn’t that funny to him bc it sounded so normal!!! 😂
We’ve just moved into a much smaller (half the size) home in part to force our family (parents, 13, 11, 7) together. One of my absolute favorite outcomes is that the kids are teaching me their slang and aaaaaaall the various gender and sexual identities that they’re sorting through (look up the Pride flag variations…even as a long time ally, I had no idea).
How’s that move going for you? We live in a small bungalow in Chicago (1200 sqft plus basement) — my husband wants a bigger place but I want to stay put! We have two kids, 6 and 3
I did this as well! In our larger home I realized that the space (physically) was giving us too much…space (physically AND in every other way). Privacy is valued, but space…is different. I realized the only way to organically cross paths and be naturally just around, is to create an environment that invites (ok, forces) that. I could not be happier. These years are temporary and pivotal. Is it easier, hell no. Is it worth it, hell yes! ;-)
We lived in a 1800 sf home with our two children from birth to graduation and I loved it. The steadfast rule: NEVER enter a room without knocking and (this is the important part) waiting for a response.
Mia, I’m loving it. As someone who struggles with overwhelm, everything here feels more manageable. My husband was less convinced when I raised the idea, but he has also noted the positives.
I’m going to add The Bee Sting to my reading list, as I really enjoyed Shuggie Bain. My LL Bean coat is 15 years old and still looks good. Unfortunately the style has been discontinued.
To my perimenopausal soul sisters: has anyone started estrogen or hormone balancing treatments? I have had super heavy periods and get them almost twice a month. Just had my annual physical and my doctor (woman) doesn’t seem too concerned. I feel out of sorts when I have heavy periods and don’t want to slog it for years to come. Any insights are welcomed! TIA!
The peri years are like raising infants: as soon as you get your head around a phase, the next one arrives. I was so busy playing whack-em-all that I didn’t realize I’d been deep in peri for years (in my late 30s) until I was drenched every night and only bleeding once a quarter. Hang in there!
Ablation. I had heavy 3 week periods, over and over, and ablation immediately put an end to that.
Can Becca (or someone) explain “ablation”? I just googled it and the results were not at all helpful. AMK – I’ve had two periods a month for at least a year. The bleeding increased but not an insane amount. I did have crazy night sweats for a while but my doctor put me on progesterone and that cleared that up completely.
Hi, this is me! My friend got on progesterone and it was life-changing for her including deeper sleep. I went to her doctor-a women’s health doctor who specializes in pre/menopausal women. She also started me on progesterone but it caused me to have scary thoughts (!!!) and I was still waking at 3AM with a racing heart, so I stopped. I also refuse to get on birth control, which I heard does help with these types of symptoms. Good luck xoxo
Get a new doctor! Having one who listens to your concerns is life changing. After taking hormones for over a year now I mostly sleep! (:
Perimenopause soul sister here! I highly recommend checking out Dr. Jen Gunter’s blog/newsletter. While it’s awesome that we’re finally talking about perimenopause more broadly, there is a lot of not evidence based information out there. Dr. Gunter is very informative. I don’t remember her exact recommendation for heavy bleeding (since this isn’t my current concern) but I know she addressed it in a recent newsletter! Good luck!
Adding another resource that I know address heavy bleeding – the book Hot and Bothered by Jancee Dunn. Highly recommend!!
AMK—this was also me! After two years of heavy periods (which my OB initially thought were due to cervical polyps, but weren’t since I had them removed and the symptoms returned) my OB suggested I try Lo Loestrin. It’s the lowest dose birth control on the market. After spending my teens/20s on the pill, I hadn’t wanted to be back on birth control, but I realized a) that its a form of HRT and can benefit me in ways that are unrelated to pregnancy prevention and b) why was I being such a martyr???? Now my twice monthly heavy/gory periods are GONE, as are my night sweats and PMS anxiety/rage. My iron levels have also gone way up. Every body is different, but I’d encourage you to consider birth control if your doctor thinks it’s an option. If you don’t like it, you can just stop taking it!
And that’s why I’m back on birth control pills at age 47. Just started them and hope it helps with everything. Check your iron levels :)
I just started 3 weeks ago and it has saved my life. My cycles have been all over the place the last year and I have PMDD so that added to the awfulness. My OB was very supportive of me starting it even though I’m 41. She said that the ups and downs of perimenopause can be worse for some folks to manage than menopause. My PCP was rather dismissive so definitely important to find a provider that understands perimenopause/menopause.
Go to menopause.org and search by zip code for a menopause-informed provider. You deserve–and will get–answers.
My doctors assumed my heavy, frequent periods were a perimenopause thing, but in my case, it was a fibroid that needed to be surgically removed. I wish I had pushed harder for testing – an ultrasound in this case – to see if there was an issue, instead of suffering through it until things got really bad. If you haven’t had any testing to rule out other issues, you may want to start there. Sending love! This stage can be rough!
I had such heavy periods, and got so anemia so severely that I had to have iron infusions regularly. It was debilitating. My gynocologist performed an ablation, which is basically cauterizing the uterus, I think. It changed my life. No more periods/no more bleeding = no more anemia.
I just started taking progesterone and it is amazing! Has pushed my heavy periods from every three weeks to every four weeks and I think they are less heavy. I am sleeping so much better (I didn’t realize how crappy my sleep had become) and I no longer have horrendous pms. I have had super heavy periods for three years and my ob ordered an ultrasound to check for fibroids but no one suggested hormone therapy until I went to a specialist who happens to see a lot of perimenopausal women. His expertise in all things perimenopause was a pleasant surprise.
Hi AMK, I am a peri-menopausal woman and a physician and my biggest piece of advice to you is: you have options. Ultimately, you may opt to or not to use medication but you should at least be aware of what is available/appropriate for you (and you likely should have at least a few things evaluated to be sure this is not something outside of the perimenopause box). If you are able to, try to connect with a provider well versed in perimenopausal/menopausal/women’s health. The Menopause Society website has options for local providers. You can also search your insurance database for providers who have this focus. I’m sorry you are having to turn to a website comments section for health care answers that should have been answered in the exam room.
My cycle used to be like this: 1 week heavy bleeding, 1 week recovery from heavy bleeding, 1 week dreading the next period. Until my OB/GYN suggested to give birth control pills a try. that was two years ago (I’m now 45) and I’m not looking back. No bleeding to speak of and my iron levels are up so I can even donate blood.
Lo loestrin!!! It’s been a dream. I’m 48. Had long awful painful periods. Doc ordered ultrasound etc to rule out any other issues. The hormone balance of the bc pill is a miracle cure. No cramps, I bleed 1/2 days a cycle. Highly recommend!!!
re: birth control as HRT, just everyone remember that it CAN cause severe depression in some people, like me for instance, so proceed with an experimental frame of mind and be prepared to, uh, pull out, if your emotional well being begins to suffer.
@Jennifer, sorry for not explaining, I was thinking this was fairly standard practice after a certain age. . .wiki def: Endometrial ablation is a surgical procedure that is used to remove or destroy the endometrial lining of the uterus. The goal of the procedure is to decrease the amount of blood loss during menstruation. . . My PCP recommended this bc we were both very concerned about anemia from the blood loss. No regrets. None.
Thank you all soooo much!! It sounds like I have options and it’s evident I need a new doctor!
That picture of Cornwall! I died. So beautiful. I loved the Bee Sting too but wished maybe I’d read it in a book club context. I needed to do a lot of processing at the end!
These winter coats are so cute, but does anyone have a suggestion for a fall coat? I’m desperate for something to wear other than my raggedy purple fleece for chilly (but not wintery cold) mornings. Thanks!!!
Barn coats!! I wear my version (from Mango, I think now discontinued) every day. There are a million versions but here are links to a few: Mango: https://shop.mango.com/us/en/p/women/trench-coats-and-parkas/parkas/oversized-barn-jacket-with-contrasting-collar_17085139 Uniqlo: https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/products/E479208-000/00?colorDisplayCode=69&sizeDisplayCode=005&utm_campaign=shopping_broad_product_casual-outer_google_cpc_sales_us_evergreen_en&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=479208-32-005-000&utm_content=pla&campaignid=22776758100&adgroupid=179183973101&device=c&merchant_id=10097310&product_partition_id=2414877248049&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22776758100&gbraid=0AAAAADwNkrKkC9zHPkq3yTxCfmNUhUf76&gclid=CjwKCAjwpOfHBhAxEiwAm1SwEtHY8HBHoGkdz440mJ8jbG2ciFbR6-_ETme8P8dZmdN2QHskOgMl8xoCkXAQAvD_BwE Old Navy: https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=766357002&vid=1&tid=onpl000078&kwid=1&ap=7&ds_agid=17394539939-&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17394539732&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8sHquHbNSdSpY6kMS4rFqxvJ&gclid=CjwKCAjwpOfHBhAxEiwAm1SwEimUS7Dsv_grIwJpytfkkIwSPjSkPhTiQOCHatmRCM93pt7_ySxNsBoCA_oQAvD_BwE#pdp-page-content
I hate to say it but waxed Barbour jackets are perfect for this. The sweet spot for mine is like 40-50 degrees, with or without rain. And if you live near an Orvis store, you can try them on in person and the staff are always super nice, even if you don’t fish or do outdoorsy stuff.
A puffy vest! I gave puffy vests to both my parents for Christmas a few years ago, and they were hilariously enthusiastic. “We didn’t know we needed these! We wear them all the time!” (I have two myself, in heavy rotation in my fall wardrobe.)
https://www.jjill.com/product/ribbed-collar-plaid-sweater-jacket-304591s-1?color=7ZH&searchTerm=Coat I have this one and like it!
I like this cheerful colorful number quite a lot: https://us.boden.com/products/stirling-check-coat-rainbow-blanket-multigingham
Thanks all! Really appreciate these suggestions!
Is there a specific recipe you use for mac and cheese? The one in your picture looks so good!
I love the Beecher’s recipe – I use a full package (pound) of pasta, however, as the original recipe’s sauce to pasta ratio seemed a bit pasta-in-cheese-soupy to me haha. I also enjoy adding a little grated garlic for some extra zing. https://homemadehome.com/beechers-mac-and-cheese/
Looks like a box of Annie’s white cheddar to me!
Anyone with thin fine hair use Roz? I see raves from blessedly curly gals but curious for thin straight hair…which is just less….fun.
If you do have fine thin hair – try Reverie Milk as an alternative! I use one pump every day – it’s super lightweight and smells amazing.
Yes, love Reverie Milk!
I have fine hair! I love this stuff. Early last summer I asked my stylist for a cut and product suggestions that would not require blow drying as I wanted to swim a lot. He recommended the Roz product. It is fantastic!!
Seconding Reverie Milk for fine hair! Smells amazing, smooths frizziness, adds shine, and, like Lindsay, I use 1-2 pumps so the bottle seems to last forever
I use it and my hair is thin and short. I haven’t tried doing the air dry method so I can’t comment on that. But I love how my hair looks and feels after blow drying.
Another vote for the Reverie milk serum, as someone with thinner straight/wavy hair. It’s lighter but performs similarly to the Roz milk, and also a bit less expensive and smells much better (imo). A few months ago, I got multiple products from Roz to try (shampoo, deep conditioner, milk serum, hair oil), and while their products worked decently, for my hair type I don’t think they’re anything special or worth the cost (less volume at the roots, made my roots greasy faster). They also use the same scent across all products, and it smells like off putting heavy 00’s department store perfume to me–and I usually don’t mind fragrance in products.
I was influenced (inundated?) by ROZ’s social media marketing and for me the product is not great. I have fine, thin hair and my scalp looks super oily and heavy on day two. And now I have two giant bottles of this stuff. I won’t be buying again and plan to switch back to my more specialized shampoo and conditioner for fine/thin hair.
I *just* started The Bee Sting so yay! Also I needed to hear it is great, I just finished Heart the Lover and my heart is broken that it’s over. I got so attached to the characters, the story, the feeling while reading it. So many thoughts. I also just finished My Lady Jane and adored it and really regret not watching it and adding to the viewership. I want more seasons so badly. Also. Enjoying walks in the glorious October splendor hear in Minnesota. My husband and I have been taking a cup of coffee in our pretty clay mugs for our walks and something about it feels so….charming. And soup! All the soup! And hot drinks. Finally, I wasn’t able to protest this past weekend (illness, children, etc) but seeing everyone out made me feel less alone in my heart break and fear.
Mel! I’m a Minnesotan, loved Heart the Lover, am struggling through a pottery class (the clay mugs lol) and just wanted to say hi since so much of your comment resonated with me lol Enjoy the last beautiful week of fall colors!!
Hi Joy! Any chance you’re near Eden Prairie? Always looking for more like-minded friends :)
My wool coat from Aritzia is probably 6 years old now and still gets compliments like it’s new. Great belted and non-belted options this year! https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/clothing/coats-jackets/wool-coats
100% agree! I just had to re-home one I’ve had for 20 years as pre-menopause shoulders have arrived. Still in great shape and has kept me so so warm
Um, Kiki – “pre-menopause shoulders” ?!?!? I know peri is bonkers with loads of randomness, but what exactly do I need to worry about with shoulders fitting into coats?!?
Obsessed with Roz products because of you! My hair has never felt better!
Does anyone remember which post recently had a picture of a gorgeous blue and white striped sofa? I’m 99% sure I saw it on a COJ post, or linked from the weekend links, but I’ve just trawled through 2+ weeks of posts and links and can’t find it!! @COJ team, was a photo removed from a post? Am I inventing things? It was so beautiful and I was going to use it for living room inspo – crossing my fingers someone knows what I’m talking about :)
Was it this one?? https://www.houseandgarden.co.uk/gallery/lucy-cunningham-cotswold-lodge From the “what a beautiful kitchen” link in this post: https://cupofjo.com/2025/10/10/weekend/
No but thank you so much Kristen! Starting to think I dreamt it :))
Is it from this Big Salad post? https://joannagoddard.substack.com/p/jen-mankins-house-tour-brooklyn
Hi Rebecca? Any chance it’s the Schoolhouse x Clare V sofa pictured here? COJ linked it last fall and I too have thought about it ever since! https://www.domino.com/design-inspiration/clare-vivier-los-angeles-home/
Ah yes always looking for a wool coat and would love some recommendations! I want it to be long (like not cropped) and chic but at 5’2 most coats look like I’m playing dress up in my mother’s closet instead. Any ideas?!
I’m five foot nothing and got my wool coat at aritzia and love it
I’m 5’3-ish and love my Quince cocoon coat: https://www.quince.com/women/italian-wool-cocoon-coat
I’m 5’2” and found an Aritzia at a consignment store I like. Nordstrom Rack has fun choices, and REI some more practical ones (like my long Patagonia puffer that goes to just below my knees). Poshmark has used options if you find something you like and want to look for a used/less expensive version!
Aritzia coats come in short sizes for under 5’3”.
I got this one last year and absolutely love it. A little pricey but feels very high quality and warm in the Winter. I am 5’1″ so I feel your pain! For more inexpensive options, H&M also has a lot of beautiful wool-blend overcoats too that I have had luck with over the years. Good luck! https://shop.mango.com/us/en/p/women/coats/coats/handmade-wool-coat-with-belt_17005795
As a fellow short person, find one you love the details on and have a tailor shorten it. I’ve always had to get pants hemmed, but for some reason it took me forever to realize I should do the same thing with shirts, dresses, and coats. Everything looks so much better, it’s ridiculous.
5’0 here but Boden wool coats are amazing!
Im just under 5’2 and purchased this coat from an Australian brand called the Curated. I got the XS and it fits PERFECTLY which is so rare for me as a short gal. Its 90% wool and 10% cashmere so soft and warm LOVE IT so much I will be purchasing another and I dont live in a very cold city. Size up for layering. If you want to see video reviews search for the brand on TikTok there are quite a few. https://shopthecurated.net/collections/cashmere-coats/products/the-new-york-coat-black
The teen boy podcast has me dyinggggg! My church has a program where we make sandwiches every week for the food bank, so we’ve formed four teams to get it done each week. A group of Boy Scouts joined my team for awhile to get some volunteer service hours, and this is exactly what hanging out with them was like! I love it :)
You know what made me laugh? You all with your pet peeve comments. Loved it!
I know it’s a hot take but The Bee Sting is the best nonfiction book that I have ever read. And I read a lot.
it’s fiction, isn’t it? or did you mean to say fiction? I am LOVING the bee sting, and also really loved Shuggie Bain. the novels have different tones and tenors but I think if you liked one, you’ll like the other. xo
Yep, you’re right! It’s fiction.
Late on the biat with Elena Ferrantes Napoli-quartet, but such a good read! Finally got into it after seeing a teatre adaptation. Always a fan of weleda skin food for everything dry, red and itchy in the cold winter months. Just got myself a pair of Birckenstock waterproof winter boots that both look badass and will be a delight to wear all winter. I’ve also just done a deep clean/declutter and it is a deligth coming home to a clean, spacious apartment. I really did not need all that stuff.
Secret photog strikes again! xo
hahahahahaha I’ll text you another one of a woman’s coat that was color blocked down the middle into camel and brown (at the ice cream shop). was very cool.
someday, Joanna will post a street fashion pic and a reader in the comments is going to go “hey! that was me!!” :)
Whoop, and the recipe: https://www.chilipeppermadness.com/chili-pepper-recipes/soups-salads-stews/gumbo-z-herbes-green-gumbo-recipe/
My husband made gumbo z’herbes (aka green gumbo, which was traditionally a Lent thing and is vegetarian with either 7 or 9 kinds of leafy greens) last weekend, and this week’s leftovers are the ultimate spicy-fortifying-soul-replenishing meal. Literally, I’m donating blood right now and my platelet and iron stats are spectacular. Hugely satisfying, new-to-us way to max out on greens! Hot tip: Add fresh-roasted Hatch chiles.
Thank you for donating ❤️
Big secondhand baggy blue sweater over black tank, black leggings, black generic boots. Trying to finish “The Testaments” (I have not had a moment to myself.) Tried to join a small book group for “The Let Them Theory” but didn’t have time to finish the book. Ate some dark chocolate covered caramels and drank way too much coffee this week. Went for walks. Hugged my dog.
I don’t think I have *this* one, but I have a belted wool coat from & Other Stories, and it is quite nice. They have so many color options – I am coveting that dark purple. https://www.stories.com/en-us/product/voluminous-belted-wool-coat-black-1083959001/
I am not sure if Boden brings it back each year but I bought an almost exact belted coat from them two years ago. I love it, still. It’s lined and my go too for cool weather because you can actually wear layers under it.
RoZ Hair products are true magic in a bottle! I have yet to find one that doesn’t click for this wild, frizzy, wavy/curly mane. Such a game changer and well worth the price point. I get a little giddy seeing the products in a friend’s bathroom…it’s like a girl code secret to great hair with less hassle. And alas, girl code secret unlocked on CoJ!
Which of their products are good for curls??
Another request for tips on which ones are best for curls. My hair is fine so easily weighed down, but also feels dry and thirsty. I usually air dry. Thanks!
I use the milk serum (2 pumps) after getting out of the shower and then air dry. The root lift spray is good a good boost too! When my hair is dry, I’ll then go over with the Santa Lucia Hair Oil (one pump) to help with flyaways. I was skeptical given the price points (I’m going to spend HOW much on this experiment?!), but woweee do they deliver.
I read Heart the Lover a couple weeks ago and am still thinking about it, highly recommend!
Did you know it’s a pre-and sequel to Writers snd Lovers? I didn’t at first and was scandalized by all the seeming reuse of plot points and character names.
SAME. I love books but this one…I loved differently. Just this feeling in my chest while reading it, I can’t shake it.
Same! Very different from what I was expecting, but I loved it. I also really enjoyed Writes and Lovers and Euphoria by the same author. Another book I really enjoyed and highly recommend is Consider Yourself Kissed by Jessica Stanley – one of the smartest, funniest and well-written books I’ve read in a long time.
SAME *sobs*
I hope you don’t mind, but I saved Lulu’s photo to use as my work monitor background. I could really sink into that scene! The teen podcast was too accurate; I couldn’t finish it. Twizzlers was spot on, but no mention of nerd clusters? lol Mac and cheese with peas nestled into the shells is one of my comfort foods :) I’m currently reading The Three Body Problem and fascinated by it.
I love that lulu’s garden is your background!
Agree Nerd gummy clusters is 10000% teen boys candy of choice 😂
Mac n Cheese n Peas was my go-to when the kids were little, and it’s still one of my easy meals that, as high schoolers with voracious appetites, both will happily eat!
It is my favorite comfort meal as an adult!
While raising my two kids, I worked two night a week. My husband was in charge of dinner bath and bed on those nights. They jokingly rave, and tell their own children about “Dad’s orange dinner”. It consisted of Mac and cheese- sometimes with a cut up hot dog in it, baby carrots, and canned mandarin oranges.
I used to put broccoli florets in it cand call it “mac and cheese with trees” lol
Hello all lovely and wise COJ people.. Its finally rainy-cozy-getting chilly kind of fall weather here in MI and I am looking forward to reading some thrillers/horrors which are not too spooky. I recently finished Hidden Pictures and thought it was quick fun read until last few pages. Also a big of Tana French but I don’t think her latest one is coming until 2026 . Would loveee some great suggestions , TIA , Hope you all have a cozy warm fall :)
T Kingfisher has some great horror-lite novels that are quick reads and creepy but not scary or violent, e.g. “A House with Good Bones”. Her books are about the supernatural rather than real-life dangers.
I recently read This Book Will Bury Me by Ashley Winstead Its a Thriller/Mystery and enjoyed it I didn’t see the end coming! I also really enjoyed The Last Murder at the End of the World- by Stuart Turton its a little thriller a little spooky distopia its actually hard to categorize but I really like it!
Lowkey thriller- God Of The Woods
I love reading The Last Party by Clare Mackintosh! It’s set on the border of Wales and England is more of a who-dunnit thriller than a spooky/scary read. The characters and setting make it a great read.
It’s not so much a thriller as a mystery, but my book club read The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon this year and we all loved it.
Have you read “God of the Woods”? Or “Wild Dark Shore”? Well written AND page-turners both that recently kept me hooked for hours at a time. For a gothic horror throwback, try Sarah Waters’ “Fingersmith”. And then watch Park Chan-Wook interpretation of it, “The Handmaiden”, which gets characterized as an “erotic historical psychological thriller” — what could be better?? :
if you like Tana French you’ll also like Dervla McTiernan
Ditto T Kingfisher. Other eerie vibes: The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle, When We Were Villains, and John Eyre.
Kill Your Darlings- a woman pushes her husband down the Exorcist stairs (in Georgetown) and the books unwinds to reveal why she did it. Dark, chilly, set in academia. So, so good.
Quince has some beautiful wool coats right now and so does COS!
Can anyone speak to their Quince wool coat experience? Would so appreciate an honest appraisal of quality, fit, etc.