Psst, Do You Wax Your Bikini Line?
“A long time ago, you mentioned you’d never shaved or waxed your bikini line,” wrote a reader named Emma. “Could you elaborate on why? I have always wondered!” Well, I’m happy to share…
My answer is really simple: I have sensitive skin, and I’m a wuss, haha. I don’t want to go into a waxing place and get my hair ripped out; it sounds so painful, omg. Plus, I feel fine having hair there, and my feeling is that if I’m going to bed with someone, I want us both to feel so excited and warm and happy and close that we’re fine with whatever the exact hair situation is on either of our bodies. One caveat: I don’t have a lot of hair, and I think my answer might be different if I had more growing outside my swimsuit area.
Also, when I was getting back onto the dating scene, my sister recommended this bikini trimmer. I tried it and liked it, and now I use it whenever I’m in the mood — probably every couple months — to have less hair, without needing to fully shave or wax. It’s completely painless and kind of fun to play around with.
Thoughts? So curious to hear what you do and how you feel about it! Every body is different, and people have all sorts of preferences and experiences. As with all body/sex/parenting/relationships/life questions, “Good for her, not for me.” xoxo
P.S. Twist: I like the word “moist”, and did you have sex on your wedding night? Also, five ways to talk to kids about consent, and why I regularly talk about periods with my sons.
(Photos from Oddobody.)
Tags: sex
Comments
165 commentsI just want to say thank you so much for doing a post on this topic. It’s one of the most challenging topics to talk about for me and it’s so great to hear what other people do and find a community that needs to tend to their unwanted hair (for me, bikini) like me! Thank you!!
Thank you, Joanna, for raising this topic! The conundrum of what to do with my bush has been something I’ve grappled with my whole life. I’ve always felt (and still do feel) self-conscious about it, and never felt like I’ve known what everyone else is doing down there, so it feels so reassuring to have this kind of forum. I’ve chosen to hang on to my hair as an act of protest against a lot of the patriarchal pressures to remove it all, and I’m glad I have, because a partner once thanked me for it, saying that he’d never actually slept with someone who kept it. It’s still something I occasionally feel insecure about, but is my small act of defiance!
Pretty please: Requesting a post about vulva shapes and sizes! I’m 37 and I didn’t realize until THIS YEAR that there’s so much variety from vulva to vulva—some with longer inner lips, some with longer outer lips. Now I want to know what everyone’s sporting so I know I’m not deformed. : )
Gina, I recommend watching the show Naked Attraction (I think it might be on HBO Max). It’s a dating show where the contestants pick their dates based on their body parts… the premise isn’t great lol, and the show itself isn’t great, but it’s pretty revolutionary in how it shows EVERYTHING, and in a very neutral (and nonsexual) way.
Check out The Vulva Gallery on Insta!
Nope. And I do have lot of hair. I wear swimsuit bottoms that are shaped like shorts, so that I don’t have to worry about anything showing that I won’t want to show.
Left to itself, my pubic hair becomes a national forest. I also have very sensitive skin. For many years I used an electric shaver to shave it all off every 1-2 weeks but I was never truly happy with the results. Also, the ever increasing gray pubes turned out to be more of a bummer than I expected. So several months ago I started having it started. For me, the pain virtually non existent, the mixture used isn’t hot like wax so there’s no risk of burns and the process doesn’t upset my skin. I go once a month and there has already been a tremendous reduction in regrowth. I’m also supporting a lovely young woman who is the sole proprietor of her business and so fun to talk to during my appointments. It’s a win win
Can you say more about this? What is this??
Welp, as someone who has been getting waxed since she was 12, and spent two years getting extensive electrolysis… Can’t relate!
When I was a dancer, I got fully waxed since I spent so much time in leotards and tights. Once I stopped dancing, I also stopped doing anything with that hair. Occasionally I’ll do some ‘scaping, but it’s mostly natural. My partner and I have been together since long before I quit waxing. His opinion about all my hair has been “your hair, your opinion”. I’ve also completely stopped shaving my legs (though, like you, it is very light and thin, so mostly unnoticeable) and 99% stopped shaving my pits (which is not nearly as light and is absolutely noticeable 😆). There’s just so many other things in life to stress about, it’s nice to have stopped caring about body hair.
These comments are why I love the CoJ community! Asking for some thoughts on how do you frame this for tween/teen children? My sons have given me daily updates as hairs appear…everywhere! I also have a young daughter and I ponder how, if at all, I want to broach this when she’s older. I don’t want her to think she ever has to conform (and that certainly isn’t who she is already). I remember the peer pressure to shave legs and pits as a teen and then waxing in my 20s. But what, if any, discussions come up with the current teen/tween generations? Curious to hear!
My daughter asked for a razor when she was 12, and I’m glad she was comfortable enough to do so! I used the opportunity to talk to her about this, I said if YOU like the feeling of smooth legs, bikini area, armpits etc then shave away, but don’t do it for other people- it’s your body! Similar when yesterday my 9 year old asked when you’re supposed to start to wear a bra. She doesn’t need one yet, I think she thinks they’re cool, but I told her if you like the feeling or the look of it on your body then do it, if not then don’t. I explained that can change when your boobs get bigger. I told her I (small boobs) most of the time don’t wear one! And I explained that other people may notice if we aren’t wearing a bra with a tight or see through shirt, and we probably want to wear a bra if we don’t want them noticing. I’m trying to just be honest with them and teach them to trust their bodies and consider the world they live in- I hope I’m doing ok! 😅
Hi. Those of you who laser chin and upper lip hair, do you shave/microblade the area first before lasering? That’s what I was asked to do before starting laser, but I am wary of shaving on my face in case the hair (thick and coarse and dark in my case) grows back. I don’t want to rock a mustache/beard!
Yes, you have to . Especially if the hair in these areas is darker than the rest of the face. In my case my hair there never got thicker although I stopped after 4 sits.
Hi yes, unfortunately you do have to shave before and in between laser sessions. However I noticed after the first few sessions, the hair became finer and so shaving and the hair growing back wasn’t as noticeable. However between the first few sessions I felt like I had to shave often because my hair was still its original coarseness and grew back fast, and sometimes I had a bit of a “shadow” on my face. I tolerated that and it got better with time. Now that said, I also did my side burn area and those hairs seem to have gotten thicker with time actually and spread a bit more on my face? I’m unsure but not too happy with the results :/.
The wait before the first two sessions is bad, as you need to let the hairs grow, but they shouldn’t become thicker. That said, the chin is more problematic, as it’s a hormonal area. In my experience, I had better results in my upper lip area than in my chin and jaw. I had a horrible experience and the hair spread to my neck and became thicker. With a quality laser that shouldn’t happen!
I haven’t lasered my face yet, but I’ve done underarms, bikini line, and legs. None are hair-free, but the hair is now finer and sparser and so I no longer shave, for the most part. Yes, you do need to shave just before lasering – my understanding is that it helps the laser concentrate on the root of the hair instead of focusing on the length of it. I noticed the most drastic differences after the first two sessions, so don’t worry too much about it coming back coarsely from shaving. It probably won’t be as bad as you’re expecting.
For those whom laser didn’t work for (or an area has gotten worse), the hair may be caused by hormones, or something like PCOS. I have PCOS and do electrolysis on my face. It costs a fortune and takes longer, and I also know it won’t totally stop until my hormones are better in check. But apparently laser can backfire for those with hormone issues. (At least above the waist, I’ve heard)
Has anyone done IPL post c-section? I had it done a few years ago COVID ended my last couple session, so I’ve now got sparse hair growth around my scar that’s hard to shave. The scar is pretty dark though, so I’d worry the laser wouldn’t work well or cause damage?
I have! For me it worked well to get rid of those sparse hairs around the scar. But everyone’s skin can react differently so I’d probably do a consultation with a laser place first.
Has anyone tried one of those at home laser hair removal things? Do they actually work?? I want to get one but have a hard time believing they’re actually effective
SCAM (for me)! I tried one following COVID, mainly on my armpits and bikini line to avoid going back for waxings. It did nothing and really hurt. I’d be interested to hear if they did work for anyone else – I’m their exact demographic with dark hair and not-very-sensitive skin, so I thought I’d at least see something.
I have! And it worked for me (on my chin and upper lip and on my husband’s ears). The thing is you need to do it several times to start seeing resulta. Live once every week or every two weeks for five cycles to start seeing results.
Yes, I have an IPL machine and it has worked brilliantly. I have pale skin and dark hair, so the most likely group to see good results. I get the odd hair growing if I haven’t dealt with them for a while and can easily wear an outfit which exposes my legs without having to think about it. I’ve actually forgotten what it felt like to have leg hair. My body hair wasn’t very thick in the first place, so I don’t know whether that made a big difference. I would highly recommend it. So much saved time and effort.
Forgot to say I also found it completely painless. What I have found it that, if I haven’t managed to shave closely enough, it stings and there is a smell of burnt hair. When shaving with a fresh razor, this doesn’t happen. I’ve also used it on my armpits and bikini area with the same results. Mine is a really old philips one but is still going strong.
I bought an at home IPL machine after I had a few laser sessions on my face. It worked better for me than laser. It alao worked well on my legs and arms, but you need to be constant and use it every week for a month or two.
Used to wax before any beach trip but that was so cumbersome. Echoing others that laser is the way to go if you can afford it. I started in the US and then luckily got to finish in Mexico where we moved for a bit and where it was HOLY CRAP so much cheaper. It’s not perfect–I still have to shave–but so much less frequently and the hair that’s there is finer and fairer.
And what is everyone doing for their nipple, chest, and stomach hair??
Tweezing the boob hairs since teenage years, they get more and more plentiful. :(
I get electrolysis on my face (PCOS) and you can do it there too!
Full Brazilian wax every 6-7 weeks. I LOVE it and over time your hair stops growing in as much. It’s not comfortable but it’s over fast and I love the results. I do it for me and I would NEVER groom according to someone else’s hair preference, whatever that might be.
I just tried sugar doh at home sugaring kit for my bikini. A little learning curve but it worked pretty well! No messy wax.
I’m a trimmer, too. I tried waxing and YOWCH, it was not for me. But I like to keep things contained, especially when I’m in a bathing suit. And *especially* now (at 45) when I’ve started to notice some gray hairs, wahhh!
The very first grey hair I ever noticed was a pubic hair and I thought that was so unfair.
I’m on team trimmer because my skin is so sensitive. I’m trying to gradually stop giving a f*** about body hair because it is such a neverending battle. It helps that my kid goes to a cooperative preschool in San Francisco and none of the women wear makeup and it seems like the majority don’t shave their armpits or legs. It’s been really great to be around so many people on a daily basis who aren’t conforming to every single beauty norm. I feel more empowered to do the same!
That’s so cool. I never wore makeup. It wasn’t a conscious decision, it’s just when I tried it with my friends as a teen, it just looked so weird on me. Ha. So just evolved that way. I could not have bothered with it anyway. I did shave my legs in my younger years, but no more and I love it. Happy for you that your school associations might give you inspiration. It’s just so much easier. Some people love all the creativity of grooming, and that’s cool, but not me. “To each their own”, as my dad said all my life. He’d be 113 if he was alive today.
This is our LA co op too :) love it so much
I work in health care and have seen thousands of naked bodies, of all ages. One thing that has always struck me is the way we start to lose body hair as we age. The number one reason I keep a very full bush is I know I will miss it when I’m older! When it is sparse and gray I know I will look back and think fondly of my thick, wild, dark pubic hair and MISS IT !! I also like the idea of teaching my boy and two girls what natural body hair looks like, just so that’s their foundational exposure.
Yes to this, especially your last paragraph.
I love both parts of this! The first I’ll try to keep in mind. The second is why I stopped shaving my armpits. I had hives when I was pregnant and couldn’t shave for some weeks which got me over the itchy bit, and then I just thought, if I have a daughter, she’ll be learning from the earliest age what her body should be like from me. I stopped shaving my legs for many years too but have mostly caved to societal pressure and get them waxed when i know they’ll be seen in public now.
I wanted to recommend Olivia Dade’s romance Ship Wrecked!! One of the leads is an actress in a game of thrones-esque show with completely natural body hair and (minor spoiler) has to fight a showrunner on making her shave.
I have a modest bush that I shape. I have very delicate vulvar tissue (I’ve needed so many medical treatments) and I need the hair to take the friction! Sex with long-ish hair is great, sex bare is absolutely unbearable. So it does make me feel sexy because I know it’s enabling great sex!
I developed vulvar skin issues too so am no longer allowed to shave/wax. I just got the Phillips One Blade and with the guard it’s the best trimmer I’ve found (so tiny!). Thank you for sharing this it helps me feel less alone.
For all those struggling with ingrown hairs on a bikini line or underarms, I use Neutrogena Body Clear Body Wash on all the parts I shave every day (even when I don’t shave). It’s the last thing I do before I get out of the shower, and it has helped me keep ingrown hairs at bay for at least 20 years.
“Women also remove their body hair at great cost: American women who shave spend in their lifetimes more than $10,000 and two months of their lives managing unwanted hair; that number increases to a full $23,000 for women who wax once or twice per month.” “Doctors have recently begun to urge women to reconsider removing body hair, especially pubic hair, due to the link between hair removal and adverse medical risks, including shaving injuries, lacerations, rashes, abscesses, and abrasions. They also caution about the risk of unnecessary and risky hospitalizations due to uncontrollable staph infections due to body hair removal.” Worth reading the whole thing – it’s pretty short but thought provoking! https://uwpressblog.com/2022/06/15/can-everyday-body-hair-practices-have-revolutionary-implications/
I prefer to keep the area trimmed using an electric trimmer. If I ever meet a romantic interest again, it’s so important to me that they respect my wishes about my body hair. My last partner objected to my preference and, looking back, tried to make me feel bad or less than desirable because of how I wanted to keep my hair. I don’t think I truly realized how awful that was until I was out of the situation. Never again.
I am cheap and hate having frequent appointments, but I do love the cleanliness and how sex feels with a Brazilian. So I bought a $30 wax warmer and DIY it at home. Does it hurt? Yes. Do I get all the stray hairs in the back? Probably not. But it’s good enough for me, affordable and on my own schedule.
Oh my god, that is so impressive! I’ve been getting Brazilians for years and don’t think I could do it to myself if my life depended on it. 😂 You are a hero!!
For those who have done laser, especially any Brazilian/bikini line variety, how did you find a place that you liked? I’ve found some online, but the reviews and the photography consent forms scare me. Is it common practice for hair removal places to require photography/media consent for hair removal, where you sign away your right for them to keep or use your photos? Feels invasive for this type of hair removal, which has kept me from pursuing it so far.
Never had anyone ask me for photos-cringe. I would recommend asking your GP/gyno dr for starters. You can take before and after photos of yourself with your own device to keep a med record. You had every reason to find that question a red flag.
I had mine lasered about 10 years ago (I left a ‘landing strip’) and it was honestly one of the best decisions I made. The first few appointments hurt but got better afterward. Interestingly, my armpits were more sensitive than my bikini area! I digress. Back in the day, no one was asking for photo consent forms. I definitely would not have signed any such thing. You should go to a spa where you feel comfortable, and if photography is a non-starter (it would be for me), keep looking. If you’re in an area where there aren’t many options, I would choose the nicest and call them and see if it’s really a requirement.
Literally never had a photo taken or consent form. I personally, would avoid.
Photo consent form? Are people insane? Absolutely not. YOU have ownership of your body parts – photo’s are NOT required. Just refuse to sign and demand service, or find any. other. place, even if you have to drive. If you are doing laser it will only be a few appointments and then you won’t have to worry other than the occasional touch up. Or just buy your own laser device, they’re about $200 and you will save a ton of money.
Thank you CoJ this is a public service! I’ve been stumped about what to do the past few years. I always just shaved my bikini line so nothing peeked out the sides, but my skin seems to be more sensitive these days and I’m more likely to get ingrowns. I’ve gotten a bikini wax (not brazilian) a few times, including this spring and summer, before a vacation where I’ll be in a swimsuit every day, just so I don’t have to worry about it or shave on top of re-growing, irritated skin. But I don’t know what people are supposed to do between waxes? After about a week I already have hair growing back. In the summer, I’m at the pool multiple times a week. Also I hate appointments and laying there half-naked while someone waxes me. I’m v. grateful for all the people sharing their experiences with at-home IPL devices! That sounds like it might be the way to go for me. I have pale skin and dark hair, and I have a high pain tolerance. I think I might get one and make it a project over the winter so that hopefully by next swimsuit season I won’t have to worry about it very much!
I bought a Phillips trimmer on a whim 3-4 years ago from a pharmacy and it has been a total game changer. After having spent 20+ years worrying about my bikini line (and strategically booking waxes before trips etc.), I now just use this trimmer. Sure by day 2/3 the hairs become visible again (it’s not nearly as close a cut as shaving or waxing) but it does exactly what I need it to do. Plus no ingrowns. I like leaving a little patch of hair and I like that with the trimmer I can control exactly what it looks like. I WISH I had found this in my late teens. It would have saved me a lot of time (and money).
Also, in Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, she goes to get a bikini wax before a love interest meeting and has this surprise when she gets a full bikini wax: “the man in whom I am interested is a normal adult man. He will enjoy sexual relations with a normal adult woman. Are you trying to imply that he’s some sort of pedophile?” Ahahaha. I guess this and the “little black forest” quote from Napoleon capture my view.
Napoleon wrote this to Josephine: “You know that I will never forget the little visits, you know, the little black forest… I kiss it a thousand times and wait impatiently for the moment I will be in it. To live within Josephine is to live in the Elysian fields. Kisses on your mouth, your eyes, your breast, everywhere, everywhere.” So, you know.
I have hella bush and if I’m honest, she’s just an untamed, humid rain forest pretty much always. It’s hot to be uninhibited, queer, adult. Definitely considering IPL/laser for chin hair as a personal preference and because the hyperpigmentation from irritation is bothersome.
Love this! Ditto
Perimenopause makes the humid rain forest that much more tropical, it’s awful. I take vaginal cream (in addition to estrogen patch + progest.) and still, certain times of the month, it’s all swampy down there. I do feel better when I’m waxed down there and I think as long as I keep doing it for ME, that’s totally fine.
I don’t really understand these comments that are so vehemently against doing things for your partner’s preference or villainizing partners who may express a preference or acting like if you take their preference into account you are somehow some terrible feminist. As long as they are respectful and non-pushy about it what’s the harm? Sex is a shared activity. Personally, I’ve experimented with all sorts (often with the same man because variety is fun and interesting)… full wax with it all gone front and back, full bush with everything at maximum natural, tidy trim with shaved/waxed bikini line, “postage stamp” wax, etc. There are pluses and minuses to all the styles in terms of how they each affect sex and your scent, the cost/annoyance of maintenance, how it looks in different bathing suit styles or lingerie, how you pee, but I’ve enjoyed them all for various reasons/seasons. But like, I think it is sweet when my partner takes my preferences for his facial hair into account and I don’t that’s toxic? and it doesn’t really make a difference to you either way… why not have some fun and experiment?
I totally agree that it can be fun and nice to experiment with a partner. I’ve actually thought a lot about the beard/facial hair comparison though and come to the conclusion that it’s different! There are no societal expectations in this day and age either way for men to have a beard or not, it’s just a style choice (for most men in Western culture, anyway). On the other hand, there are ideas (even showing up in the comments on this post) about shaving/waxing/etc as equating to “cleanliness” which is simply not true. And of course there are social ramifications for being “unclean.” I say this not to disparage anything that goes on between partners, but just wanted to add my thoughts!
For me the difference is that existing in your body as it is, as a woman, is to be nonconforming (in our culture) and that is not true about existing in your body as a cis man. So any preference has a whole weight of.culture than informs and enforces gender when expressed from him to you. Not to say that it’s wrong or feels wrong to you, but that dynamic may feel wrong or oppressive in other relationships. (Note that my husband has expressed one physical preference ever, which is that I have a dress he hates, but it’s still in the rotation! I just don’t expect to get laid if it’s in the mix)
I’m with you Annette. I have no problem taking my partners preferences into consideration- he’s also a wonderful partner so there’s that. I like to keep my area tidy mostly because I find it uncomfortable and annoying to manage but I always tell him: if you want me bare, you have to pay for the wax and then buy me one of those $18 cocktails after. He’s never taken me up on. But one year my trimmer broke and I asked him for a new one because I didn’t feel like paying for a new one and he happily obliged. I don’t know, we’re a partnership and I want him to have a say— just like I do when he asks me if I like the stubble on his face, or even his own public hair.
Rebecca – I was in exactly the same boat. Shaving or waxing both irritated my skin so much and I had endless problems with ingrown hairs. THEN I discovered trimmers. What a difference! Not a single ingrown hair and bonus – it’s not itchy. Highly recommend to anyone who wants hair removal but has sensitive skin!
I stopped messing with my bikini line years ago (after too many years of painful ingrown hairs and infected follicles). I can’t recommend these swim bottoms enough! I’ve also stopped shaving my legs and pits. I’m a mammal! I’m allowed to have body hair! https://www.landsend.com/products/womens-6-high-waisted-bike-swim-shorts/id_352988?attributes=13774,44967
Yes I love swimsuit shorts. Look for board shorts if you want a looser fit. I’ve liked these: https://www.rei.com/product/236375/patagonia-barely-baggies-25-shorts-womens
Yes! This year I finally bought swimming shorts like this. Not the greatest look but it was great not to have to deal with shaving, irritation, and ingrown hairs. Worth it !
Wow this is something I have talked about, thought about, and dealt with for literally my entire life! I am 52 now and have matured/grown to accept being a HAIRY HAIRY HAIRY person, but maaaan it’s been a long road! I am lucky enough to have a head FULL of dark, thick, curly hair and for that I am grateful. However, the fact that this dark thick curly hair appears all over my body has always been a major source of preoccupation for the majority of my life! I secretly started shaving with my father’s razor at 12 because I couldn’t deal with kids (mostly boys) teasing me about my body hair, used to wear long sleeved shirts all yr round during HS, and have been getting bikini/eyebrow waxed since I am 16 yrs old. The thought of not having to plan a beach trip so that it coincides with waxing is so foreign to me. I cannot shave bikini because of serious ingrowns, so there’s no option for spontaneous touch ups. I stopped shaving my underarms a number of yrs ago because I couldn’t deal with the constant irritation/rash/ingrowns so now only trim it (mostly only during summer) and it is def liberating. I started sugaring a couple of yrs ago and I get zero ingrowns plus it grows back much slower! I only do this during the summer though, since it is pricey and…who even cares, really! (me obvi). During the winter months my bikini line is literally extending down to like my mid-thighs lol.
LADIES, do not sleep on the Philips One Blade. Game changing! https://www.tiktok.com/@jesssalomex/video/7230839609083694378
My sister’s friend and her doctor husband own a “wellness” center and they do laser hair removal. A couple years ago, I got my legs, underarms and bikini line lasered and it’s incredible. I have moderate body hair. Definitely have to shave for bathing suits, and I live in the south and am a teacher so I’m in shorts or a swimsuit most of the summer. I could have probably done a couple more sessions on my legs, but my hair is so much more fine now and I only shave my legs every week or two in summer if I notice it. Never have to think about my bikini line or underarms and it’s so nice. If you can afford it, I’d say it’s definitely worth it.
I mean, grooming is weird, because of course there’s a hygiene component to maintaining the hair on your head if you’ve got it. But then there’s a big cultural framework for how we do the hygiene part. So like, if you get haircuts that give your hair a style or shape, congrats, you’re doing the aesthetics part of grooming, too. And while I agree that there’s a paper thin boundary between unhealthy external pressure and good, positive internal motivations, I’d argue it’s pretty hard to say that one grooming practice is about external pressure and another is about a healthy internal sense of self. Do I shave my legs because I want to? Probably not 100%. Do I get my hair cut by a stylist just because I want to? Probably not 100%.
Rue, what a fantastic perspective. I’m so conflicted about shaving my legs (or other parts of my body) yet I’ve come to really love the feeling of freshly shaved legs, but always felt slightly weird about it. I’ve never felt weird about getting my hair cut. Interesting.
Does anyone else’s desire to shave fluctuate with their cycle? Like days 11-27 I would not shave if you gave me money. But the day before my period (even if it’s randomly longer or shorter that month) I’m obsessively removing every hair, and plucking my brows, etc.
I choose not shave my body hair! I feel like I grew up at the perfect time where there was more representation of body hair around me. That being said, I still stuck out in my circles for a while, especially in the dance world and with my own family. I really like the freedom of just not thinking about it. I also don’t have a lot of body hair, but I really love what I do have and was grateful to be in a time and place when I met my partner where neither of us thought twice about it.
The concept of having so little hair that it doesn’t show outside of underwear/bathing suit is so foreign to me. I am SO HAIRY (I have light hair on my head but coarse, thick, dark pubic hair) and I also have sensitive skin that is extremely prone to ingrowns and irritation. My usual routine is to wax the areas that would be visible in a bathing suit during the summer months and/or before a vacation and let it go aside from occasional trimming during the rest of the year, but I’m considering lasering the bikini line because even occasional waxing gives me ingrowns. I wish I could say that I don’t care about visible pubic hair in a bathing suit, but when I tell you it would be a full bush (not just a few stray hairs) hanging out you have to believe me lol.
Deeply relatable. Full bush in a bikini? Sure. Mid-thigh bush in a bikini? Not sure why exactly it feels taboo, but it sure does. So trimmer it is.
Great informative comments here! It doesn’t sound like people do lasers on faces/chins… or at least the at home lasers. Anyone know how to eliminate facial hair permanently? Egads! Need my time back!
I’ve had laser hair removal done on my neck, chin, sideburns and an almost full Brazilian. It’s been life changing. I have incredibly sensitive skin, prone to ingrowns which then sometimes get infected into pimples or worse which develop into keloids. I wish I had gotten it down years earlier as its been a game changer for my self esteem as I watch old scars and pockmarks get lighter and less visible. I think its a well worth investment.
HIGHLY recommend electrolysis (and highly recommend Sterex Apres-Care for your skin after each treatment). It’s the only truly permanent form of hair removal and while it takes commitment and is hard at first, I’m almost a year in and the difference is life-changing for reclaiming both time and self-esteem. Laser worked for me briefly…and then the hair grew back with a vengeance, which I hear is common in hormonal hair (like hair on your face/chin). Also, laser can stimulate additional hair growth (paradoxical hypertrichosis) for some people, which is the complete opposite of what you want. Anyway, YMMV and definitely do your research, but I went from worrying about my hair multiple times a day to not thinking about it for weeks on end with electrolysis and am a huge fan.
I had my chin and lip lasered! It was great! I did 5 sessions I think.. I still get dark hairs but much fewer and finer.
I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of $$$ over the years on different lasers for my excessive facial hair with very short term or no results. Miraculously, I ordered the Ulike IPL from Amazon and it has treated ALL my facial and leg hair. I tweeze very occasionally whereas I was spending 1-1.5 hours a day to maintain my facial hair. LIFE SAVER! :)
What great comments!! I love the different perspectives. I was a regular bikini line waxer for years and then I gave it up and went back to shaving. Waxing was painful, so expensive, and it also felt pretty awkward to have a stranger working there. On a related topic, does anyone have any recommendations for dealing with upper lip hair? I have dark hair that occasionally looks visible. I’ve tried many options and have never found a solution I like. Would love to hear what works for others!
I used to use a Braun facial epilator on my dark upper lip hair. It stings a little but I find it less painful than waxing, plus I can do it at home. I did it once a week or so, then after about 18 months I noticed a lot of the hairs stopped growing back! So now I’ll do a maintenance pluck with my Tweezerman tweezers anytime I notice a few hairs coming back.
I just use my dermaplane razor and shave it. It’s not perfect, but it’s cheap and painless which are my criteria :)
I used to get my upper lip waxed and before that, I tried electrolysis. But threading is the best! The hair grows back after about 2 weeks but I can stretch it out to 3 with some plucking.
Threading is a great solution for the upper lip. It hurts IMO but they work fast and there are no side effects.
Cheap at-home wax strips with occasional plucking, OR getting waxed at the threading place for me.
I’ve used Sally Hansen at home wax strips for years and highly recommend. Effective, cheap and no rashes.
I’ve had dark upper lip hair since puberty that unfortunately, just keeps coming back! Waxing is what works best for me but during the regrow phrase around week 2-3 it becomes really visible again and makes me feel non-feminine. I have also had some success with the flamingo at home face wax strips when I don’t want to see a waxer, but the results are not as clean and precise.
If I had all the money and time in the world (or if I just had different priorities) I would continue with sugaring. I liked it, found it less painful than waxing, and was pleased with the results. I did it for a tropical beach vacation with just my husband and did it again the following beach season. But, I don’t prioritize it compared to other things and our beach/pool season is quite short here in Michigan. My husband has never cared either way, so it’s just based on what I prefer.
In the same boat. I spent 42 years being thin. I turned 43 and…a switch flipped. I don’t have total acceptance. But I remind myself that whenever I look at friends or acquaintances who are 10lbs bigger than they used to be, I think…nothing. I have zero thoughts about it. I love them the same, I respect them the same, I trust them the same. I just literally don’t think about it. So I try to give myself that same grace.
This is unrelated, but I have finally been confirmed as being in perimenopause (after 3 years of hot flashes and doctors saying well, your estrogen is normal!) I have gained 15 lbs over 2 years. I have tried all the things, I eat healthier, I lift weights, but the pounds are not going anywhere. Does anyone have advice on accepting yourself as a different size? I wish it wasn’t so hard for me, but I feel really insecure.
It’s a hard journey but 2 things I recommend as someone who has fluctuated quite a bit in her 40 years, are finding a great bra store and getting fitted for your new size — it’s life changing and so awesome to pick things that fit great that you love (try and budget for a at least one fun bra in addition to something practical), and truly buy yourself a few pieces of clothing that fit and make you feel like YOU. It’s not about being fashionable, it’s about feeling good I’m your skin and embracing who you want to be in clothes. These may seem like materialistic ways of approaching it, but they have really helped me as part of my journey.
Sara, I totally feel you. While I haven’t had my perimenopause medically confirmed, I’ve put on a few extra pounds around my belly/thighs over the last year that I’m convinced is due to perimenopause. Some of my old clothes no longer fit or just fit differently now, and I honestly don’t love it. At the same time, I’ve also been working on acceptance. I eat a healthy diet and exercise daily, AND I’ve done the things they say you’re supposed to do when menopause-related weight starts to creep up, like focusing on strength training and prioritizing protein-rich foods. I’ve definitely gotten stronger and put on some muscle, but alas, those old clothes still don’t fit. This probably isn’t earth-shattering, but I’ve just tried to focus more on all of the good things I’m doing for my body that will keep me healthy and strong as I age, making choices that feel good, and finding new clothes that work for the body I have now. Would I prefer to be my old size? I’d be lying if I said no. At the same time, I remind myself that I’ve hit the upper limit on things that I’m willing to do to manage my weight. (Sure, maybe I’d look different if I obsessively tracked my macros and ate 150 grams of protein every day. But I honestly…don’t want to!) So if my current body is the result, then that’s what I’ve got!
Hugs Sarah. I have a few ideas. I really like this pod cast Mary’s Cup of Tea. Mary wrote a book with a work book that’s so great too. All about radical self acceptance. I always feel so much calmer and happier after listening. Also the pods Food Psych and Rethinking Wellness. Really thoughtful and affirming that we aren’t alone in these feelings. Are you in therapy? My therapist has helped me with body acceptance so much (mine is specifically feeling betrayed and like I can’t trust my chronically ill body). What kind of media do you consume? Might be helpful to look at what you are seeing. Are you following mostly folks your size or bigger? Are you actively retraining your brain to see this size as normal and perfect and beautiful? Do you have joyful ways to move your body? Are you finding ways to enjoy your body and appreciate what it can do? How is your anxiety, mental health, stress level? I find that i obsess more about my body when other things aren’t going well. Perhaps there’s some work to do in other areas of your life. Related, and maybe seems trite, but do you have hobbies, passions, happy busy things to do? When my brain and hands don’t have enough to do, they find things to pick at. When I’m so absorbed in the things I love, I just think less about my body. Finally, do you have clothes you love? If not, think about getting some that are perfect for you right now. An act of acceptance and being happy NOW. I hope something helps. This is hard. We have all of society and our indoctrination of thin culture working against us. Think how many messages you are getting that you are somehow not ok. It’s capitalism and white supremacy and the patriarchy trying to oppress you! Eff that bs. These feelings are part of a larger movement to suppress the power of women, esp older women. Fight back by loving yourself.
SAME. I really thought I had worked through my body issues and well, nope apparently not. A few things that help/ed me: I consciously started following fashion people on instagram who’s bodies were bigger. I made an effort to see more bodies like mine looking good! I also started swimming more regularly and I think just putting that bathing suit on over and over helped shift my brain a bit as well. And positive self talk– the whole fake it til you make it thing. Its hard sometimes, but its a work in progress:)
struggling with this too after being put into menopause prematurely for medical reasons (estrogen positive, stage 4 breast cancer) — an extra 6 lbs showed up like overnight & now it’s creeped up to 10lbs all while ive maintained my same diet and exercise routine as before. it’s mind blowing! i’m trying to give myself grace // you are not alone in this struggle — it’s HARD! take it one day at a time, one healthy moment at a time — it’s the best you can do and you’re doing awesome :)
I hope I don’t get lit up for this, but I am about to turn 45 next month and woah, losing weight at this age is almost impossible and putting it on is so, so easy. My weight creeped up and I was not feeling good. I started microdosing a GLP1 and it was night and day. Losing weight is easy like it was in my early 30’s. I have energy, sleep better, and it even helps me drink less alcohol. I know it can be controversial, but I’ve had nothing but a positive experience. Just throwing my perspective out there for anyone who has considered it. If it’s not for you or you don’t agree with me, you can ignore my comment!
@jo seems like we need a dedicated actor on this! The ladies are passionate about the topic!
Also in this same boat. Fully in menopause at 49 after 3 years of hot flashes. I finally just gave up about trying to fit into my old jeans and bought ones that fit. Trying to make peace with the extra squish, but wish that menopausal weight gain would be more normalized.
Omg Sasha in Montana, what a beautiful comment, thank you <3 Thank you for such a thoughtful answer which TBH is good for anyone to hear at any stage!
I gifted myself laser bikini hair removal for my 30th birthday and can say confidently it’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever had done. The process itself isn’t rosy, tbh, and you have to get used to the smell of your own burning hair, which is…something. BUT as someone with really sensitive skin, I now only shave if I know I’ll be in a bathing suit; otherwise, it’s very light and downy and I can maintain with a once-monthly electric shaver trim. I’m married and my husband doesn’t care, but it’s SO nice to have one less thing to maintain.
I waxed everything off for years. But, like many, I stoppped during the pandemic. Once everything reopened, I began again, but with less enthusiasm. It’s expensive, I moved and can’t find someone I like, etc. I eventually just stopped. I’m 47, been married for 7 years, and I’ve decided I can’t care about waxing anymore. I also stopped sleeping naked because I like pajamas and I realized I was only doing it because my husband liked it. I want to be comfy when I sleep, and that means pjs. Menopause, empowering me to do what I want, I guess.
I have lots of hair — dark, thick, strong — and I also wear two pieces Brazilian bikinis. Sometimes I shave it and sometimes I wax it. I don’t care about the pain — in fact, I like it. I would wax it more if like many of us I had free time to do it.
“I like it!!!” Dang girl. I’m in awe. I’m in tears pulling one chin hair.
I’m always interested in what other people do, and have myself gone back and forth and all around over the many years. Mostly full bush here with a little trimming, but I also get a brazilian 2-3x a year for fun. Recently, though, I have been holding off on getting a wax because I suspect it will confuse my four year old son and I want him to experience all body hair as being completely normal, full stop. He doesn’t need to be introduced to the confusion of the occasional wax yet, but I also want to do to my body whatever I normally would.
First time I’ve ever commented here! So, I did laser hair removal treatments on my bikini and underarm areas for 22 years, starting in college and into my 40s, and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made…1000% worth the time and money!! After the initial 6-8 treatments, I only had to do touch-ups once a year. Prior to laser, I had terrible issues with razor burn and ingrown hairs. The hair grew back quickly (like, the same day) so I’d have to shave over razor bumps/ingrown hairs, which was so painful. I went to a dermatologist office for this, where only certified NPs performed the treatments…would never go to one of those random laser places. They can prescribe you a numbing cream that goes on an hour before the treatment, which almost completely blocked the pain. It’s been almost 2 years since my last touch-up, only because I moved to another state, and I haven’t had to shave my underarms ONCE, and only occasionally will shave the little fine hairs left on the bikini area, which after shaved stay gone for weeks. I never have to bring a razor when I travel! I never have to worry about putting a bathing suit on, even if I haven’t shaved in months! I was told that laser hair removal works best on dark hair/lighter skin tones…not sure if that’s still true with the modern lasers…the office I went to had the same laser machine for many years. To each their own, but I LOVE IT! It’s one less thing I have to worry about!
I mean, honestly, where are people finding the time for all of this grooming? I have a full time job, a young family, friends, an extremely half-hearted exercise routine… there genuinely isn’t time in the day/week/month/year to be shaving, waxing, plucking, lasering, dyeing, curling, blowdrying, whatever all else people do to their hair. To me all of that stuff is a tax on my time that – by and large – men aren’t expected to pay, and I can’t be doing with it. Also, ‘good for her not for me’ x100000000000 but also ‘if you can’t see it you can’t be it’. If we want the younger generation of women to feel like they have choices about opting in and out of cultural expectations around how they present their bodies, then at least some of us have to provide an example of opting out. I’m more than happy to be one of those people. Which is just as well, because I haven’t the time, energy or inclination to opt in!
Coming of age in the 70s none of this ever crossed my mind. It was many years later that I learned this is a thing, and quite mainstream. I personally find it kind of sad for a plethora of reasons but yes, everyone has different feelings about it. I respect that, even though I don’t get it. As far as swim suits are concerned, if a person doesn’t want to show hair, swim skirts are cute !
Well said, Emma! I concur completely.
I get what you’re saying, but how often does pelvic grooming come into conversation with young strangers? I don’t have kids, my shaving strategy is just my business.
The beauty of lasering is that I did it about 5 times over the course of a year back in 2013 – and now I’m done. No more shaving, less expense in the long term, no painful ingrown hairs, etc etc. So overall, as someone who doesn’t participate in a number of other time and money consuming activities – makeup, hair dyeing, mani/pedi, facials, recreational shopping, massages, among others – I actually devote almost no time at all to feminine-coded (and other) personal upkeep. Everybody’s circumstances and choices are different. Now if someone could tell me how I’m supposed to continue fitting in all these doctor’s appointments while juggling full time work, mothering a school-aged kid, and serving on the PTA – I’m all ears!
@Jules Ha ha. Fair point! I meant the whole lot though… legs, armpits, bikini line. Personally, I find legs to be the most visible. And the most commented upon! But the wider point extends to dyeing my hair, wearing makeup etc. etc. I just choose to opt out of all of it. I’d rather put that time to other uses.
Since hitting perimenopause, the hair on my head started getting thinner! Yikes. So my dermatologist put me on oral minoxidil. My head hair looks so much better, but now i also have hair everywhere! Arm hair! Toe hair! Face hair! Thigh hair! Bikini line hair! It’s too much. I’m trimming and shaving and lasering and it’s all very weird. I guess good to be surprised at having to change my grooming routines in my late 40s. Ah, life.
Did the minoxidil affect your sex life (desire? Ability to climax?)? I just got a prescription (menopause) (and am getting one for my husband because ageism at work is for real) and this is the part I’m concerned with.
Interesting question. Not that I’ve noticed? But I also haven’t paid attention to that! We’re pretty much a once a week couple and nothing seems to have changed.
I do have quite a bit of hair growing around my bikini line, but I also have super sensitive skin. I shave it if I go somewhere where it will show, otherwise it gets trimmed with a men’s finishing shaver like the rest of the hair in that area. I olny have a frequent visitor and he’s perfectly happy with this arrangement ;)
I have a laser Brazilian! Love it! Need to get retouched but it’s so nice.
I always used to wax, and then during the pandemic I tried to do my own wax. Whoa. That was not a great idea. For one thing, I ran out of wax strips. I RAN OUT OF WAX STRIPS. A friend, shortly after that, turned me on to body sugaring and I’ve never gone back to waxing! It’s SO much better!
Could you please share your tips about body sugaring?
I never used to care, like Joanna I didn’t really have much hair and what I did have, I could keep under control with a trimmer. However the older Ive got, the more hair I have and I do not feel comfortable in a swimming suit if its not waxed. It is painful (I think but please bear in mind that I nearly passed out when I got my ears pierced) but the more you do it, the less it hurts I think. I don’t go full Brazilian, I just get a nice tidy :) I also get my eyebrows waxed and I think that’s worse!
I use a beard trimmer to keep it shorter and that’s it! I am also a wuss, haha
Same here. My husband likes my body as it is, and as long as things are reasonably trimmed down there, all looks/feels just fine to me.
I shave my armpits and trim my nose hair. My pubic hair and legs can grow in peace. I did shave my pubic hair once and HATED the feeling of my underpants touching my skin there, ugh. I’m european though, I wonder if natural is more common here?
A PSA that IPL lasers don’t work on all hair colours. I bought the Braun one but I have red hair on pale skin and it didn’t work for me. I think the same is true for dark hair on dark skin because when I looked into it it’s to do with contrast? So if you have dark hair on light skin they work very well but otherwise not so much. I don’t do anything to my bikini line unless I’m going swimming and then I just shave outside the bikini area – it’s not ideal but I use Tend Skin after (my husband recommended it because as a teenager he used it on his facial hair) to avoid any bumps and it works!
The laser industry has taken a lot into consideration over recent years. Even white hairs on the face can be addressed. Another reason why at home devices are lacking superior results-one size does not fit all and the power is purposely less impactful to prevent harmful misuse.
I used to self-wax EVERYTHING and LOVED the end result … until a waxing mishap that involved several hours of time, a lot of pain and and even resorting to peanut butter to try to get some stuck wax off a sensitive area without ripping off my skin. I would say that so long as the wax works, it’s amazing (it makes sex feel soooooo incredible). But after that experience I never ended up doing it again! I did try an epilator for a while on my bikini line and that was okay, though it stung for a few days afterwards. It didn’t really feel like it was worth the pain and effort. I do sometimes think about doing a full wax again though! (one day perhaps I’ll be brave enough!)
Lesbian perspective here – when my now fiancée and I first got together we both waxed a few times and decided it was silly. She found it really painful and I didn’t like how it felt on my body and I realized that a wild, untamed bush felt so powerful and free. I love it when she leaves it alone – the look, the feel, the smell. So I’m here to tell you you’re all perfect the way you are!
Also a lesbian, but I think who we have sex with shouldn’t matter — that’s kind of the point. Don’t wax or grow out body hair for anyone else. Do what YOU want and what makes you feel good!! I don’t shave for my partner, I do it because I like how I look and feel.
I enjoy the stories when my sister tells about being a teen in the 1970s and a full bush was something they didn’t hide or shave … It was what it was. At least in their beach town.
Yes as a person who was a teen in the 70s, I’m here to say, yep, it was what it was ! :)
Amen! Another teen that didn’t care but the older I got the less I enjoyed unwanted body hair. I’m not as sweaty or hot since laser removal either.
OMG–the post I didn’t know I needed! You guys, I have less of a bush and more of a…thicket? A bramble? A full on jungle? Let’s just say, it takes some management. Even though I am well into menopause, I’ve never hit on a solution that worked well wnough to use it consistently. I will be reading all the comments and taking notes.
Laser! You can decide how much you want to thin out and then it’s permanent*. Pricey but now I don’t have to do any maintenance. It’s been life changing. *After a year I’ve had the tiniest bit grow back which is ignorable but I’ll do a maintenance laser session eventually.
“I have less of a bush and more of a…thicket? A bramble? A full on jungle?” I can somehow imagine you saying this aloud, and I’m laughing by myself at my desk. Thank you, thank you!
Same same same. I am so envious of Jo and the people who are like, “I don’t really do anything to maintain my pubic hair but I don’t have that much to begin with.” As much as I wish I could care less about cultural norms, the full bush that would hang inches outside of my bathing suit if I did nothing to maintain my pubic hair would be a bit much. (I do sometimes wear a swim skirt to cover more territory if I have not recently trimmed/waxed.) If I haven’t recently trimmed/waxed, my pubic hair even hangs out if I wear a pair of short-ish shorts and sit criss-cross on the floor. UGH
I love being fully shaved there, and enjoy the ritual of shaving daily. I’ve been with my husband for 17 years and he absolutely does not care what I do, but I feel sexier and happier with the hair gone. Plus, isn’t it kind of fun to “prepare” yourself for getting lucky when you’re in a long-term relationship? It can be so easy for all effort to go out the window when you’ve spent forever together, but I still get a little thrill about getting myself “ready” for us being together like I did in the early days.
yes to this!
this community is the best! just in the past couple of weeks, i’ve had these same topics in mind. i’m 42 and had been doing bikini waxes until the pandemic, and then stopped. just recently i started again. but in the process of starting waxing again, i was asking myself what others do? what’s normal or what even are the options? should i trim? wax? just shave the sides? going back to waxing and trimming (agree on the olov love mentioned above!) is perfect for me – now i can jump in the hot tub / pool / lake any time without thinking twice. plus, a little appointment with a rad esthetician every 6 weeks is just kind of a fun treat (shout out to the goddess waxers here in bozeman!). appreciating all the candid insights from y’all!
I started completely shaving or waxing my public hair about 25 years ago because I liked it. About 10 years ago I read a bunch of comments (maybe here?) that made me feel like an anti-feminist so I grew it all back. I hated it. My long term partner was on board but I noticed the time his head spent between my legs decreased. I started shaving and waxing again after a year and have felt incredibly guilty about this ever since. So thank you to loud minority of commenters today. I should be fine doing whatever the fuck I want with my pubes. It doesn’t make me a bad feminist and it doesn’t make my husband a pedophile. You may have actually changed my life.
Yess, Allie! Many years ago, I remember going au naturelle because that’s what an old boyfriend liked. Meanwhile, that hair caused me sensory issues. Never again. Feminists do whatever they dang well please with their bodies.
This. I don’t care what anyone else does with their hair, but I personally just don’t like the feel and even my husband said I seemed to enjoy sex more without it, so no more! I’ve told my tween daughter whatever she feels comfortable with is up to her because she’s obviously noticed that I shave my legs and underarms and she’s seen me nude. She totally gets that it’s her choice and she hasn’t felt peer-pressured in middle school to shave, so yay!
100%! Feminism is not about shifting the “norm” that we are supposed to be agreeing to–its about allowing women to explore and embrace who they are. If we go from it’s “bad” to have a bush to it’s “bad” to not have a bush, that’s a net zero.
Agree 100%! I wax FOR ME – I can’t stand the way it looks for feels with hair down there (even worse…stubble!) – so I routinely get a Brazilian leaving a leeeeeeeeetle triangle of hair so I’m not totally bare. Never going back! But again…it’s because it’s what *I* like!
I’m sorry, WHITMC, but “Feminism is not about shifting the “norm” that we are supposed to be agreeing to–its about allowing women to explore and embrace who they are” is complete choice feminist bs. Feminism IS about shifting norms – it’s expressively about challenging patriarchal norms (including the expectations that as women we’re supposed to shave areas where men do not to be considered socially acceptable). I say this as someone who will also wax my bikini line once and a while, but at least I’m not pretending it’s some form of empowerment. Obviously feminism in the last few years has been watered down to be as palatable (and thus consumable) as possible, but my god, imagine thinking feminism is not about challenging things. To quote bell hooks from feminism is for everyone “Lifestyle feminism ushered in the notion that there could be as many versions of feminism as there were women. Suddenly the politics was being slowly removed from feminism…. Obviously this way of thinking has made feminism more acceptable because its underlying assumption is that women can be feminists without fundamentally challenging and changing themselves or the culture.”
I used to shave or at home wax a quick trim around the bikini line to keep everything neat and trip and inside the bathing suit. Not too hairy, so that worked fine. BUT, as perimenopause (& now manopause hit, I developed a bald patch on my pubic mound! I hate the way my bush looks with a bald patch in the middle, so now I use a depilatory cream to remove enough hair that it looks intentional. Its way more work & maintenance. Anyone else with an experience like this?
Yep! Bald patch right in the center here too.
My friend calls it ‘The Costanza’. We were literally just talking about this last night at dinner. Like everything is fleeing for the sidelines.
kay, “the constanza” made me laugh out loud alone in my house, sooooo funny
Yes! But I’m single and have stopped dating so I just live with it. It makes me sad, though.
I have the same, which is why I started waxing again!
OMG I’m so glad you shared this because it is happening to me and I assumed I was the only one! I have never really had to trim much but I also am thinking about trimming to help it blend in more because I do think it looks weird! Thank you for the solidarity!
So today I discovered the new Skimms Faux Bush thongs and immediately thought of these comments! It’s like a toupee for the Costanza!
I’ve got full bush and I do almost nothing to maintain it. I’ll shave the sides occasionally in the summer so that kids aren’t staring at my crotch hair hanging out of the sides of swimsuit at the pool. Seems like the least I can do. But for me, it is a micro-feminist rebellion to keep it wild and woolly. With a vast porn industry and a capitalist machine telling us that teenage and adolescent-looking bodies are the beauty standard, I’m embracing my soft belly, slightly saggy post-nursing breasts, and full, hairy bush that are part of my adult woman’s body. I’m sexier than I’ve ever been. And as a bonus, my husband thinks so too. But I don’t do it for him – it’s my own F U to the Man.
Love this perspective!!
Yes! And in this vein, I stopped shaving my armpits (which always made me soo itchy anyway) during postpartum (who has time for shaving when you have twins?) and I felt so empowered that I haven’t gone back.
I grew up in the 60’s and never touched my body hair except for my face. Once I had a boyfriend who wanted me to get bikini and armpit waxes, and in the first flush of love, I did. One day when the limerence had worn off, I asked him if he would be willing to allow a complete stranger to paint hot wax on his crotch and then rip out his pubic hair by the roots. He said HELL NO! I said, well that’s how I feel about it. And I never did it again. Now as I push 70 I am really missing my pubic hair!
Has anyone tried the Nood or other at-home lasers? I did laser and it has been worth the investment, although I’d love a refresh since I’ve had 3 children since (apparently pregnancy can lessen the efficacy of prior laser).
I have the RoseSkinCo IPL and like it so far! It takes some commitment in the beginning, but my underarm and bikini line are growing in much slower and I’m confident it will stop growing if I am more consistent with it again
Yes!!, I use nood! I recommend!! I used it for the recommended amount for the first three months (a few times a week) and now I do it a few times a week for a few weeks before I’m needing to wear a bathing suit. I used it on my underarms and bikini area (everywhere!). It seems to have slowed but not stopped my underarm hair growth. It has eliminated the hair that grew outside my bathing suit and significantly lessened my bikini area hair more generally, but hasn’t totally eliminated it. It’s kind of spotty now, and maybe if I was more committed, I’d really do another 3 months of dedicated treatments multiple times a week. But I’m happy with the results I have!
I use the Nood Flash Pro and it actually works! I do have to do maintenance, but I can go for longer periods without shaving. I am very sensitive in the pubic area, though, so I can’t stand to have the intensity of it very high, so it doesn’t seem to work as well there as it does on my legs and underarms.
I have a home IPL – Philips Lumea – and it has been life-changing for me! I have dark hair and fairly light skin so the exact thing that always made me more self-conscious about body hair is now the thing that makes me a good IPL candidate. I am lazy about it and don’t use it very often but it still means I only have to shave my legs and bikini line 2-3 times all summer. It’s amazing.
For me, the key was finding the right person to do my bikini wax. I get an “extended bikini,” every 6-8 weeks, longer in winter. I had a Brazilian one time, before I find my current esthetician, and it was pure hell for no reason. Never again. Maybe someday I’ll pay for the laser. I’ve never minded shaving my underarms and legs.
I do have hair outside my swimsuit area, and I got just that hair lasered off about 7 years ago! Great decision for me. Some of it has started growing back, and I would consider getting more treatments. It’s easy enough to shave when I go to the beach, but being ready to go and avoiding razor bumps, ingrown hairs, and sensitive skin is pretty nice