Two Hospital Moments I’m Looking Forward to When My Baby Arrives
This photo was taken before our son Emiliano arrived. Max didn’t think I’d really go into labor at 32 weeks that day so he dressed for work, just in case!
Today, I am 35 weeks pregnant. I just felt a smooth rolling feeling underneath my belly as baby girl pressed her leg or arm up against me. Every week, her presence feels more real, and we’ve been preparing for her arrival by making room in her big sister’s bedroom and packing our hospital bag. But what’s also been taking up lots of brain space are two sweet labor-and-delivery moments…
The first one is introducing our two older kids — Ella and Emiliano — to their little sister. This Instagram reel has smart tips for that special moment. I love how the baby is in the bassinet when his older brother walks into the hospital room, and how his mom has her arms open to snuggle him in. Also the family group hug at the end? C’MON.
But my favorite part? The parents taped photos of the boy into the baby’s bassinet. That gesture created a space for him to feel loved and seen. It also showed him how excited his sister was to meet him. Isn’t that such an easy but beautiful tip?
Ella and Emiliano never had their meeting-for-the-first-time-in-the-hospital moment because after he was born, he spent the next month in the NICU, and they didn’t allow visitors under the age of 14. So, they first met at home, which is one of the greatest memories of my life. But this time around — if all goes smoothly with this delivery and my two children get to visit us in the hospital — I’d love to hang their pictures in the bassinet so they feel a sense of connection with their new sister.
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The second post-delivery moment I’m mustering up the courage to do is take a photo with my labor and delivery nurse. Whenever someone asks about my birth stories I ALWAYS talk about the nurses who helped me. These women! So kind and gentle, they were the safeguards of my body and soul in a moment that felt sacred but scary.
I’ll never forget the nurse who took care of me while I labored with Emiliano. She let me squeeze her hands as hard as I could when I got my epidural. And when I flinched with contractions, she pet my hair and led me through breathing exercises. She even stayed past her shift to see Emiliano arrive and write down his weight and height measurements on his baby tag.
Whenever I think of her, I tear up, and to this day, I regret not taking a photo with her. In the moment I felt too shy to ask and didn’t want to be a bother. But now I wish I could show a picture to Emiliano of the nurse who led me through one of the hardest moments of my life and helped bring him into this world.
If I’m lucky enough to meet another crew of caring labor and delivery nurses this time around, I’m going to go for it and ask for a quick selfie. Because these women and men are incredible, and play such a huge role in the moments we’ll always remember.
If you’ve delivered a baby, what labor and delivery moments did you find meaningful? Is there anything you’d recommend to others? I’d love to hear.
P.S. Who would you want in the room while giving birth, and what was the first meal you ate after giving birth? Plus, 10 ways to help new parents.
Comments
122 commentsI gave birth in my adopted country (Switzerland) and I love to think that the first words my babies heard were the doctors and nurses exclaiming “trop beau!” (too handsome!) about my two sons.
Don’t worry about getting the perfect photo right away. Don’t worry about your make-up or your clothing or getting the angle and lighting just right. Don’t worry about other people at all. Those first minutes, hours, and even days with your newborn are some of the most crucial bonding moments of their lives. They love you no matter how you look. They only want your snuggles, your presence and to smell the real you, not your make up and your hair products. But also, this bonding time is crucial for mom. You only get to experience that intoxicating newborn smell a handful of times. You only get to meet your baby once. When you go home, there will be other children, visitors and chores. Your brain is wired to build that connection, and its rewards you by calming the nervous system. It literally helps buffer new moms against post partum anxiety and depression. A senior labour and delivery nurse told me this. Over the years, she watched as social media infiltrated some of the most sacred moments of our lives. She would watch mothers checking their likes and reading the comments. She saw brand new babies exposed to the bright blue lights and pings of cell phones. She watched as mothers and fathers started looked away. There was a lot of great advice in that class, but that will still stay with me forever.
This. Exactly !!!!!
I’ve seen so many brand-new moms making ridiculous videos where their attention is taken away from their baby in those minutes and it makes me so sad. We’ve already seen the damage from social media to these kids. Makes me sad.
I don’t have much to add to the meaningful for me part but I tried to thank the nurses as much as possible. We brought a cookie platter from Costco. Any L&D nurses that have recommendations on how patients can thank you after the delivery? Notes? Food? Etc.? I was so grateful to these women during both deliveries and didn’t know how thank them properly.
In the moment we love snacks and treats. Especially this time of year – it’s our busy season so we don’t always get a break. Notes are also amazing. It is nice to know someone appreciated your hard work.
I had an elective c-section for my son, and aside from my husband, the room was filled with women. As they were getting ready to cut me open, my husband cued up the first song of my birth playlist: “Always Be My Baby” by Mariah Carey. The entire room started singing along. It was truly the most joyous occasion.
Labor nurse here! Ask to take the picture with your nurses, truly not a bother. I love to think of how many family photos I’m in
i made cookies in early labor and brought them with the plan to share with the nursing staff while I was laboring…. lots of really nice folks came in to offer a warm blanket or extra pillow…. and take a cookie! worked out great! Also packed my husband 10 snickers bars… cause I didn’t want a hangry partner and Im a little nuts ! that baby just graduated from college… these memories do stick around!
This just blows my mind. I barely have enough energy or whatever it takes to stand up and make cookies on a normal day. Doing this in labor at any stage blows me away. Like the husband who made lasagna while wife in labor. You people !!!! Isn’t it so funny how different people are. It’s not even the physical energy that stymies me, but the mental space. When I’m going to make cookies or a cake, I talk about it for 3 months prior !! Haha. ( But true )
I had an amazing L&D nurse, Kara, with my first son. She supported me through a very long, exhausting labor. Her blue eyes looked so much like my late-mother’s. It felt like a little sign. Fast forward three years later, after having my daughter, who walks in the room? Kara! We started chatting and realized that she had left that hospital a week after my son was born and just came back the week my daughter was born! It was like her presence around my babies was meant to be. I think it was a little angel sent by my mom so she could be there for me :)
Is there a reason my comment wasn’t posted? I’m genuinely baffled about why my comments are moderated out most of the time. I really like this community and participating in comments but lately they are rarely posted. Why?
thanks for your note, anon! we usually take anywhere from 10-60 minutes to moderate comments, depending on the time of day. I looked at your email address in our system, and I see approved comments and no deleted comments, so I think maybe they’re just going through but just not right away. please lmk if you notice any other issues! xo Joanna
My son was born on Christmas Day, and we expected it would be hard to find a canteen or restaurant meal. So my husband packed a lasagne he made while I was in the early stages of labor. It tasted absolutely divine and all the staff were asking me where we got it!! I also clearly remember a moment when my husband brought me a sandwich and a Boston cream pie which I wolfed down with my precious baby sleeping in the bassinet beside me. I felt so accomplished and estatic. That meal was a tiny reward and a gentle pause before we had to pack up and try to do the newborn parent thing at home. I needed every calorie after such a grueling labor, it was very fortifying!!!
When I was born back in 1993, my Mum took a photo with the midwife who delivered me, I’m told that the midwife was delighted because I was the first baby she had assisted with since officially qualifying as a midwife. So, I’ve grown up knowing the face of the midwife who delivered me and always wondered what happened to her. Fast-forward to my first pregnancy in 2023, I attended the hospital for my first appointment with my midwife at 10 weeks and to my delight- it was the same midwife who delivered me! I knew her face straightaway, she now wore glasses, her hair was the same style and she had beautiful laughter lines on her face. I finally learned her name and we chit-chatted about her job, it was the most wonderful experience. The best moment was telling my Mum afterwards who I’d met, my Mum was so happy reminiscing about what a positive experience the midwife made to her labour and how grateful she was for being so warm and calm during a particularly tricky moment of labour.
Hollie, that is such a cool story! thank you for sharing!
How lovely!
Sorry if it’s already been said, but I’d have a 4th baby just for the sensation of the fresh newborn against my skin + the warm hospital blankets layered on top of us.
OMG yes! I feel great about our family being complete with three, but the thing I wish I could do again the most is newborn time in the hospital.
For all the c-section moms reading these comments and feeling a little less than – you’re amazing.
My hope would be that there are very special moments surrounding their births for these moms too. Every mom deserves to feel special, loved, accepted and supported on the day she meets her baby, however that happens.
I’ll never forget the nurse in the room where I got my epidural and spinal (3 failed attempts by an intern) before my C-section. She held me while I sobbed, and my mask (covid protocol) filled with snot. She was the best.
One of the most treasured videos I have is of my daughter waiting for me, my husband and my new son to get home from the hospital. Our friends who were watching her started recording before we pulled into the driveway (she was at the window) and just seeing her excitement to get her shoes out and out the door to see us and meet her brother gets me EVERY TIME I watch it (approx. 1,000 times)
When having our baby, we settled on a first & middle name BUT I still wanted my maiden name in there somehow. I made a deal that if my favorite midwife (whose last name matched my maiden name!) happened to be there for the birth, the kid would get 2 middle names. She was set to be on vacation for my due date so my husband agreed. Wouldn’t you know, I go into labor 12 days early, get to the hospital at 4 am and at 7 am change of shift, my saintly favorite midwife enters the room! Two hours later we welcomed our four (4) names child into the world!! We got many pictures with our midwife. So what I’m saying is, all you need to do is name your kid after the nurse. Easy peasy What’s worse than not getting the picture is the awkward place I was in months later when I went to a party and she was there! She was polite and just as lovely as always but the problem was me- how do you ask someone to be your friend under these circumstances?! How am I so delusional as to think we kind of *are* friends? (We are not) at least I’ll always have that 2nd middle name.
I vividly remember my nurse who was with me during the birth of my first son. She was amazing- kind and caring and so supportive. I vomited all during the labor and she was such a big help, just quietly handing me vomit bags, and replacing them with ease. He was also jaundice and we were in the hospital for 6 days while he was treated for it- the vast majority of our nurses were so wonderful. I remember leaving the hospital and wondering how I was going to care for him without the help of the nurses. My second labor was much quicker and I barely spent time with my nurse. By far, my favorite moment was when my then 4.5yo came to the hospital to meet his little brother. Baby was swaddled in a blanket and wearing his little hat. He sat in my lap with baby and kept asking me if he could see his arms, legs, back, hair, etc. Like he had to inspect baby brother to make sure he had all his body parts and wasn’t just a floating head. But it was the sweetest thing, he just doted all over him from the beginning.
Reading these joyful recollections with fascination. I have one child, and her birth nearly 10 years ago was traumatic for me (big reason why I only have one kid!). I feel weird saying that because it’s not like she had to go to the NICU or anything, and I’m seeing women here who DID have that experience and still think of their time in the hospital fondly! For me, even thinking about any moment in the hospital, from labor (for 40 hours after my water broke) to delivery (emergency c-section), to recovery (feeling like I was hit by a truck and terrified to be entrusted with a baby) brings back pretty dark feelings. (I was eventually diagnosed with PPD and I even did EMDR therapy for a while, about four years after the birth, and it helped, but unfortunately COVID interrupted the process.) Anyway, if you also feel like maybe an outsider or a failure for not being able to think about those days in the hospital with any sort of fondness or joy, you’re not alone!
Thank you for this <3
I see you and honor you, friend. I had a very similar birth experience and was diagnosed with postpartum PTSD my a perinatal psychiatrist at 3 months postpartum. The road back to myself, and to contented motherhood, was painfully long. Sending you lots of love and gratitude for sharing your sentiments here.
Omg you’re a commenting angel. I had a 23 hour labour. My midwife told me I was fully dilated – made me push for 1.5 hours. My epidural had failed (they tried replacing it.) After making the mistake with my dilation – all hell broke loose and I ended up with an emergency C under a general anaesthetic. Not before they tried placing a spinal block three times (!) I then haemorrhaged so was in surgery while my wife was with our baby. Six weeks after giving birth – I was diagnosed with a postpartum DVT. I’m really happy for everyone that’s had a beautiful experience and I wish nothing but the best for everyone in pregnancy, birth and postpartum. But there is a very big lack of awareness around birth trauma and an almost stigma when sharing a less than ideal experience. I’m sorry about your rough time and hope you’re doing well 🩷 My beautiful son is safe thankfully. I’m 5 months postpartum
Please don’t minimize your trauma because others experienced different trauma. You went through A LOT. I’m a birth doula and I’ve been through births like this with clients and I know, it’s hard and heart breaking sometimes, and deeply traumatic. Your feelings are very valid. I hope that there are moments of joy and happiness somewhere else along the way in your motherhood journey that you can access and tremendously fondly. It’s not your fault that your birth was not a happy or easy time, and I’m sorry. You are not alone. Although there were moments of extreme joy in my first child’s birth, there are also moments that took me decades to even be able to talk about. She was born blue, hypoxic, unconscious, limp, and my first words on seeing her were “is she dead?” That’s very hard to write, even now, 28 years later. She was ok after resuscitation. After only 10 minutes she was in my arms and nursing. And my birth was very good in many ways. But that doesn’t change what that trauma did to me. The effects were long and deep. And it’s only after a lot of work that I’m beginning to let go of it’s power over me. Many of us go thru things like this and it’s really important we feel safe enough to talk about it and feel our feelings. Thank you for bringing this up, for all the rest of us.
My second birth was at home, very peaceful and with no pain, on a bright September morning, 27 years ago this week. Oof. My favorite memory after the moment she was born was sitting and rocking on the edge of my bed while I looked out our window at the big cottonwood trees in our back yard. There were little glimmers of sparkle in the air. Dancing in the morning sunlight. It was so magical and surreal. I had such a sense of calm and safety, that I’ve rarely felt since. It was such a gift. Labor and birth are often full of drama and some chaos and surprise but this was so serene and dreamlike.
My L&D nurse was an angel and the midwife that helped me deliver was a badass. I’m loving all of the shared appreciation in this comment section.
My oldest was just a toddler when her baby sister arrived, and she was there for our home birth. I loved that. A few months earlier I had bought big sister a fluffy pink rabbit with floppy ears and a similar panda to put away for our new baby. On the day the baby was born big sister remembered the panda and ran and grabbed it from all her other stuffies (it had been hanging out with the other toys) and have it too the baby. She was so delighted to give her a birth day present. As the girls got older that bunny became Emma Bean and the panda became Bubblegum. They were the very favorite cherished stuffies of their childhoods. Last year when my oldest was pregnant with her first baby scoured the internet to find another EB and Bubblegum so her sweet baby would have then to play with at our house. Seeing them sitting on my trunk with my childhood beloved Panda Bear helped me pass those long and anxious months waiting for him to arrive.
I’m not married yet so forgive me for asking, but after reading about how valued the first meal is after delivery and how there is nothing to eat like, at all or at best “cheap white bread toast and jam”…I can only ask: What were all your husbands DOING during your presumably hours and hours of labor? They couldn’t run down to the local restaurant and order a spectacular meal wrapped to go for later, knowing you will be starving after working so hard? I don’t get it. It sounds like not one husband could think ahead about this very basic and obvious thing. Is there something I am missing? Men are surely more capable of caregiving than this? Why aren’t they thinking ahead? How could they ALL let this happen, every time? Doesn’t it make you angry to just be ignored like that?
Such a good question! I don’t know about others, but my husband did not want to leave me suffering for one second alone while I was in labor! I think part of him was scared of missing anything exciting, and part of him just needed to be there for me. That being said, as soon as baby arrived, and I went safely into my recovery room, he was out the door finding me a chocolate milkshake.
agree with barb — I didn’t want to be alone in the room even for a second. he did leave to get a nurse at one point (when I started having back labor), but I was like “RUN BACK!!!!”
Oh my gosh, I wanted my husband by my side – he was as IN IT with me as a person could be and I would take that over a post-birth meal any day!
Post emergency c-section, I was stuck in bed for 12-ish hours. So my husband was the one doing the majority of baby handling… he changed every diaper (for the first week, actually), asked all of the nurses for their swaddling technique (I think a tip we got from a Cup of Jo comment), texted all my friends the news, made sure all the family was on the list of approved visitors, asked the questions about my pain medication and recovery, coordinated all the doctor check-ins and paperwork… After 36 hours of no sleep and refusing to leave my side, I sent him home to shower and he returned with a giant tub of broth from my favorite pho place (which they happily gave him at no charge when he explained that I only wanted the broth because the thought of solid food made me anxious). Prior to that, I was fine to slowly eat basic toast and instant oatmeal just to get some calories in my body. Maybe there are so many things going on that the first meal is memorable as something the patient can control or at least focus on? Maybe the partners were being helpful caregivers in other ways? Maybe COVID or hospital policies made in/out access challenging? I’m not sure why this comment raised my defenses, but in general I would like to suggest that men are surely capable of caregiving in many ways.
I felt the same as those who said that they didn’t want their partner to leave for a second. Also, don’t know about others but I was not actually hungry after either of my births. Thinking back it’s a bit like running a marathon- you’re excited and proud to have finished, sore, exhausted etc etc but not very hungry. My husband *did* bring my favourite kind of doughnut for me on the morning after and then kept me fed – sometimes literally feeding me – for weeks and months after.
I definitely don’t think it’s “being ignored.” The thing is, there is a lot of uncertainty of timing in the hospital – it wasn’t until we were fully settled in our recovery room post-birth that I would have felt comfortable with my husband leaving. For example, you might start in triage and have to wait for your labor and delivery room. Your partner may be helping you with your breathing and labor management techniques. You could labor for hours and hours – or it could all happen really fast. And then after, you’re soaking up your new human and potentially moving to a different recovery room. And if you’re like me, this is all happening in the middle of the night/early morning when nothing is open anyway. I think the key is to have a second person (sibling, parent, bff) who you want to visit early anyway to pick up the meal on the way to the hospital.
My husband was busy having his hand nearly broken from me squeezing it during my contractions, distracting me while I labored in the birthing tub, helping me walk around the hallways, changing music, having me swear at him, telling me motivational sports and Ron Swanson quotes (per my request “why half ass two things when you can whole ass one thing”). Also, it was COVID and my town is tiny so not only was there nowhere to go but he really wasn’t allowed to come and go.
Fair question but I agree with everyone else about having my partner by my side. It’s INTENSE and I wanted someone with me who I could feel comfortable asking things like “do you think these ice chips could be put directly into my butt?”
In my hospital I wasn’t allowed to eat during labor, so getting food then would’ve been a waste. I also wouldn’t have ever let him leave, bc that’s inevitably when the baby would be born. Soon as we got to the postpartum unit though he was out and getting burgers. I think that’s pretty typical
Birth is unpredictable! With my first, the first stage was long but the second part was very quick and intense. With my second, the whole thing was fast and it was a home birth so my husband was responsible for the temperature of the water in the pool, for keeping me hydrated, helping communicate with the midwives, basically advocating for me so I could stay in my little bubble. I also think that – like the mums! – the dads often don’t really know what they’re doing in a first labour, it’s all new to them just like it’s new to us, and they’re naturally anxious and want to stay close to us.
I had many wonderful people present when I had my son. I remember the lead nurse, Ellen, who snuck extra of everything into our bag before we left. A friend of mine was both a L&D nurse as well as the lactation consultant. I had so much trouble nursing and she came to my house in the days after and reassured me that I DID NOT HAVE TO DO THIS. That it was completely acceptable to stop and do formula instead. After hearing so many horrible stories from their friends regarding nursing struggles it was such a relief to have someone give me the permission to stop trying something that was so hard. That and the COJ post on formula feeding with the comment “New moms, if you can’t breastfeed, you’re not broken. As a matter of fact, you just made a life. You’re a superhero.” That was my lifeline in the middle of the night.
When my second was born, I spent HOURS (and I mean HOURS) looking for the perfect gift for him to give to his older brother. I had settled on Calico Critters but they were also just so stupid I also scoured the internet for different clothes for them like it would help somehow. My search history at the time was 100% dime-sized Etsy doll clothes. When baby arrived and big brother (21 mo at the time) showed up at the hospital, I tearfully gave him the gift bag from the baby. Big brother tossed it on the floor and ran around the room opening doors and pulling wires and pushing buttons. Honestly don’t even know where those poor calico critters went lol
When we had our second child, our eldest was 2 and we let her pick out a stuffed animal to bring to the hospital. Leading up she was so excited to give the baby their first gift. When the time came we put our newborn in the bassinet so my arms were free for a hug and so she could go over and give the gift. We planned it out as best with could with her feelings about another sibling in mind…. then big moment- she walked in, quietly looked around the room, and said “is anyone eating those snacks?”
What a sweet idea. I remember one of my L&D nurses vividly. I didn’t want to consent to the cervical check — a procedure that services no real purpose — but was pressured into it. It was so intensely painful that I screamed for the midwife to stop. The medical staff insisted that we do it again, so we did. This L&D nurse was vocally against them pressuring me. And she was so pissed off about them going through with it that she stormed off and left. Then she came to check on me the next day. I wish I had a picture with that nurse.
The L&D nurse with me for my first baby was unforgettable. She rolled her eyes and scoffed at my desire for unmedicated child birth but then fought for it with me the whole way. At the end she looked me in the eye after a long night and said “YOU WILL HAVE THIS BABY BEFORE SHIFT CHANGE, you have 54 minutes.” And so, at 6:58am my daughter was born and this sweet, skeptical woman whispered in my ear, “that was beautiful, now make sure you let her do things her way too” I had no idea then how essential that advice would be.
This is so beautiful.
🥹
I gave birth to my son at 34 weeks in May, and we spent two weeks in the NICU. The nurses were absolute angels, both L&D and NICU. I’ll never forget them! My partner and I were there all day every day holding our tiny baby and learning all there was to learn about caring for a pre term little one. The very hardest part for me was leaving my baby at night. I still cry when I think about that. What got me through it was witnessing how much those nurses truly LOVE the babies. I knew he’d be cared for lovingly at night, even though my heart still has some healing to do around him not being on MY arms! Hayden, Sam and Dominique in particular- I’ll never forget you!
It was Valentine’s Day 2018 and I went into labor in our small SF studio in the early morning. The plan was to labor at home for as long as possible before heading to the hospital. Well, my husband took my desire very seriously and the doula on the phone didn’t ever say it was time to go. After lots of long tub laboring, I was like get me out! I stood up, felt a budge and was like, um, this is big. My husband called the doula on one cell phone, 911 on the other. They said to either get me in the car (ha! No way! He turned that down) and then told him how to hold me while I pushed, body half in the tub, half out. I birthed our baby with just my husband there, our family of two becoming a family of 3. Seconds later there was a knock on the door and the fire chief said that he heard there was a baby on the way. We cheered “he’s here!” and snapped the photo of the fire chief and our doula peering in the front door and bathroom door to see me naked on the floor holding a baby. Love their faces so much, his this mustached man in shock, her staring at me in awe of my goddess birthing skills. I do not recommend unplanned home birth 😂 but sure made my next one with midwives feel like a luxury experience!
My second kiddo was also born in an unplanned home birth, though the ambulance arrived in time to help and shortly after my parents arrived (my originally planned ride to the hospital). I don’t have photos from my first birth, so I was incredibly grateful for my mom who took photos of the EMT’s and emergency doctor working with us.
I’ll never forget Eleni, the nurse who helped me breastfeed my twin babies in the hospital. She was so patient and helpful, just a true angel.
I love the love for nurses here!! We also had a NICU baby born in 2020 – a very very stressful foray into parenthood! The delivery was extremely quick, my doula missed the delivery! My husband was with our baby girl in the NICU so I was grateful to have our doula afterwards to sit with me after a very fast and somewhat traumatic delivery. And NICU nurses were amazing – especially Maria!! I will never forget her! Because of pandemic restrictions my husband and I couldn’t visit our daughter together, so the nurses were so wonderful. Getting teary just thinking about them!
I gave birth three weeks ago and have thought of my L&D nurse every day since. I wish I’d thought to take a photo! My partner actually said “wait, could we tip her?” – haha.
That is a perfect idea because they are paid peanuts!
I have a photo of myself, my husband and son and the three midwives from our team who were with us throughout his very long birth. It was very special to be able to see them again at a hospital function after he and I were both well and discharged, and I treasure that picture!
I literally just teared up reading your comments about the nurses since I feel exactly the same way. I feel like it’s one of those beautiful hidden moments of the birthing process that nobody tells you about in advance and is such a welcomed gift.
I love the idea of taking a photo with your nurse. I went into labor very prematurely and the birthing center I was supposed to deliver at didn’t have a NICU so I had to get transported via ambulance to a larger hospital an hour away. My nurse’s shift was about to end, but she rode in the ambulance with me instead of going home and that made me feel so reassured in such a scary time (I was only 25 weeks along!). We ended up with a 110 day NICU stay, and our two main nurses were so incredible I felt like they were taking care of not only my babies, but me as a parent as well. I wish I had thought to get a photo with any of them! I did manage to get their phone numbers though, and always send a photo and a note on my girls’ birthday to let them know how much gratitude we feel for them!
Oh that is a great idea. We had the amazing chance to have the same midwife (Gin, short for Virginia) rostered on for both my kids births. I felt so incredibly safe and supported by her. I wish I’d got a photo, but I did trawl through the hospitals social media and take a screenshot of a photo with her in it.
I’m due with my 3rd in December- my other 2 kids are older so I’m reminiscing about their entrances into the world. 1.The lovely nurse that was protective of me and warned me about the incoming resident OB that would make my L&D very, very stressful. 2. The first hot shower post deliver- looking at my swollen/battered body- then putting on Depends and crawling back into a clean bed. 3. Spending 2 solo nights with baby #2 even though I could have left earlier. So happy to have quiet time with new baby, eating gross but tasty hospital food, and watching terrible TV while bonding with the new one. Dad was at home caring for number 1 and it was such an amazing time for me that I will definitely try to repeat it this time around. 4. My second baby came lightening speed that after I delivered her I was then checked into the hospital and asked my name! Hoping this happens again because it was the most painful but shortest experience of my life in which my body just knew what to do and I let it and it was AMAZING.
I’m also going to give a shout out to the doctors – when I was in labor with my daughter I ended up pushing for a looooong time. The attending physician (who I hadn’t met before) stayed past the end of his shift to help deliver my baby girl. I was so relieved because the doctor whose shift it was next was one I had seen in clinic and I knew he wasn’t my favorite. Also shout out to the VERY excited emergency medicine intern during my second delivery who was possibly more psyched than me and my husband about the impending arrival of my baby. He was so enthusiastic it made me smile between contractions and remember him to this day.
Shoutout to Sara(h)? at Salem Hospital in Oregon. I don’t even remember what she looked like, but it’s not hyperbole when I say I love that woman and think of her once a week (my son is now seven). I will never forget her taking care of me and whispering in my ear that laboring would all be worth it. Of course, she was right!
I was nervous about our 2.5 yr old meeting her new sister for the first time. I had also read the advice about placing the newborn in the bassinet when my daughter first entered the room to meet her. I needn’t have bothered. When she walked in I opened up my arms to motion to her to come greet me, but even though she hadn’t seen me for two days (for the first time EVER in her life), she literally did not not even glance at me for a split second – her eyes went straight to the bassinet, and she went straight to the baby. Love at first sight. When my husband took her home an hour later, she WAILED her sister’s name over and over again, appalled that she was being forced to leave her behind (I could hear them down the corridor). We had made her a photo album of her first two years of life (so that she could see herself at the same age/stages of the new baby), and a gift from the baby (accessories for her own beloved baby doll, so that she could change her, bathe her and dress her just like we did with the real baby) – and while in hindsight those were totally unnecessary to win her over, they both still often play with those gifts at 9 and 11 years old :)
I have a photo with my super hero doula and I am cradling not my baby but a huge sandwich
Hahahha amazing
Congrats Janelle! And thank you for bringing back the memory of my L&D nurse. My son is 9 so I don’t often think about his birth these days, but there was a time I thought of my nurse often!! She was amazing. The picture idea is so sweet.
I’ll never forget the night nurse who helped me after the birth of my third child. I was in the hospital alone because my husband had to be with our older children, and feeling exhausted and broken. She came in to help me with nursing, and she was so encouraging. “Girl,” she said. “You’ve got colostrum for DAYS!” I felt like such a superhero in that moment! God bless the night nurses!
After a long fertility struggle, when my daughter was born the BEST THING was seeing my husband become a dad before my eyes. He had supported me so bravely and unwaveringly in the years prior, which were the worst of my life. He was so purely joyful when she came out at 11:11PM that he didn’t sleep at all after and just watched her breathe in the plastic bassinet in love and disbelief <3 Obviously labor and delivery are so much about the birthing parent but I’ll never forget the gratitude I felt watching my favorite person in the world meet a new favorite!
My nurse when our daughter was born also stayed past the end of her shift so she could be there for the birth. It was so sweet. She was also there when I left the next day, and we have a photo of her pushing me out in the wheelchair. I had a CNM for our son’s birth, and I know there was a nurse there as well, but I only remember Claire. I kept her as my gyn provider until we moved away 6 years later. You can really bond with the women who help you deliver. Unlike Alison, no one told me to let them know if it felt like I had to poop, and I was surprised at how urgently I was told to get to the hospital when I told Claire that it felt like I was about to poop a bowling ball. Sure enough, I was fully dilated and effaced when I got to the hospital, and our son was born shortly thereafter.
How beautiful! As a nurse, just know we are generally delighted to take a photo with you. Knowing you made such an impact through your care is the greatest gift. I can still picture the moment when a patient I coded at the beginning of my shift came back a few days later with a new stent and a big smile. It was such a privilege to be asked to take a photo with him. Sending you all the excitement for your daughter’s arrival! 💕
After my first was born, right as the sun was rising, the hospital brought me chocolate chip pancakes, ginger ale, and orange juice, and it was the BEST MEAL of my entire life. It tasted so good. After my second was born, the day before MY birthday, the hospital sent up a slice of chocolate birthday cake with my lunch on my actual birthday. That was a true delight, because I was so happy she’d gotten her own birthday but also feeling a little abandoned on my own birthday. (Can you tell so many of my happy memories revolve around food?!)
One of my favorite comments sections ever on CoJ is to the post “what was your first meal after giving birth” (or something like that??). Hundreds of comments, all of them so good!
I’ll always regret not getting a pic with the nurses who helped me birth my twins and then later fed me cheesecake as I held my new boys. Go for it! My guess is they will feel honored you asked.
My labor was so long that one of my first labor nurses ended her shift, went home, and came back for her next shift as I was close to delivery and was our baby nurse right after my son was born. Something to laugh at! She was a lovely woman and made a joke of it, too.
I had my second baby in March and after a traumatic birth with my first and a high-risk pregnancy, I was thrilled to learn my labor and delivery nurse was…my best friend! Along with lots of wonderful care from my whole team, it was so special that she was in the room when it happened. We have a photo of her handing me my screaming, gooey baby immediately after he was born, after a MUCH easier labor, and I’ll treasure it forever. And having your best friend give you a catheter is probably the ultimate in friendship intimacy.
I’m also 35 weeks pregnant! (My second, and our second boy!) Wishing you a healthy and smooth delivery, Jannelle!
my friend in amsterdam and her husband told their son that “the family is getting a baby!” nobody can stay in the house with the baby except mom, dad, and big brother. the baby was a gift for all three of them. it worked well!!
My one (and likely only) birth experience was so not how I wanted it to go: two days of prodromal labor, a middle of the night hospital visit, sent home on enough meds to knockout a mule, woke up a day later to back labor but was still not sure it was “real” labor, finally my water popping at 1:30 am and a mad dash back to the hospital. The anesthesiologist for the epidural was great as was the nurse who placed the catheter who told me, “honey just keep clicking it” about upping the epidural drip with the clicker. The nurse with me during the delivery was a saint. I was only allowed one support person because of Covid restrictions, but she let me bring my mom in after the delivery before I was switched to a recovery room. It helped so much, and my mom took my destroyed pants and washed them, so she is also a saint. Honestly, all the staff were very good, my qualms were with the hospital protocols/admin stuff. And I have zero cute photos of me with my son. I am topless, trying to breastfeed, and bedraggled in all the photos my husband took. My only advice to others: make someone take a cute, staged photo of you with your baby.
I never thought I’d be one for wanting a birth video, but my doula caught the delivery of my first daughter on my iPhone and I’m forever grateful! I knew I had to have another one for my second. Labor and delivery is intense and “labor land” is a beautiful, surreal blur. I found myself returning to that video often during the early days of postpartum as a reminder of this crazy, powerful thing I accomplished. And being able to relive that moment of meeting one’s baby as they get thrust onto your chest for the first time…nothing can compare!
The videos my doulas caught of both my births on my iPhone are so so treasured! It makes me feel like a superhero watching them!
When I went into labor I decided to bake an orange olive oil cake because…. I had oranges and needed a distraction between those early contractions (? I know, can’t fully remember my thought process at that point either…?) A day and a half later after a pretty normal delivery at the hospital and a few hours of sleep, my husband went home for a few things. He came back with the cake my pregnant self had (unknowingly?) baked for my brand-new-mom self and I ate over half of it once while nursing our new beautiful baby. Other than pulling her into my arms right after she was born – eating my own delicious cake is one of my favorite memories from her birth!
This is so tender and beautiful.
Haha, I love this!!!
Oh, I love this. I would have done this for myself if I had the forethought. Ha!
Oh my gosh, this unlocked a memory for me!! I wasn’t in labour yet, but I was pregnant with our first, and we were eagerly awaiting their arrival AND the green light from my university to submit my PhD dissertation, which I’d finished a month before and was just waiting on about a hundred signatures from admin and faculty. On my due date, I baked Smitten Kitchen’s ciambellone cake, lemony, delicious, keeps forever on the counter, and my husband and I ate slices of it every day – it was such a tasty, bright treat for a snowy December. After five days I finally got the email and submitted my dissertation, the next morning I woke up in labour, and the morning after that we held our sweet boy in our arms, exactly one week after his due date! That little guy just started preschool this morning, and that seems like the perfect occasion to bake that cake again. Thank you Mariah!! For anyone who’s interested, it is so easy and so tasty: https://smittenkitchen.com/2018/06/ciambellone-an-italian-tea-cake/
“pulling her into my arms right after she was born” – this is the moment that stands out to me from my kids’ births too. Just that instinctual need to gather them into me. I would – very hypothetically! – have any number more kids just for that moment alone.
When my first was born (25 years ago!) one detail that really stuck with me was a glorious large glass of grape juice over shaved ice. I can taste it now. My husband and I joked that we only had our second daughter so I could go back to the hospital and have another glass exactly like that. Labor went A LOT faster with my second (I use the analogy of someone tying my ponytail to a freight train), but I managed to remember to ask for that glass of grape juice with a ton of ice. I gulped it down greedily — and promptly threw it all up in the delivery room trash can. Hence, no third child for me.
My change nurse made me a “mocktail” of 3 different juices, served with a ton of ice. It was such a sweet gesture and tasted so good!
I’m in the UK and everyone always talks about the toast they give you after you’ve had your baby. It’s just cheap white toast with butter and it is the best food in the entire world! It’s a cliché because it’s true! I’m loving the stories about photos with the nurses. We turned out to live around the corner from the midwife who helped deliver our first child. We would see her around loads and she was always so lovely asking how things were going.
The sweet girl on her high school nursing apprenticeship who shyly translated into English with our first became his first babysitter two years later! I had never known her name and was so pleasantly shocked when she showed up
I was born in the UK and my mum talks about the “delicious, perfect, cheap tea” (hot buttered toast) she had directly after giving birth to me. My sister was born in the US and my mum has zero memory of what she was served, ha!
The first post-delivery meal definitely formed a core memory for both of my deliveries. The first one was born at a hospital that had an on-demand menu. The nurse explained that this was intentional, to help mothers recover faster. I had a heavenly cheeseburger and milkshake immediately afterwards, and a fruit bowl (fresh berries and melon!) in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. Unfortunately, that set the bar pretty high for my second kid, born in a different hospital and after whose delivery I was offered a standard hospital tray of dry chicken and rice. I was so disappointed, even more so when the nurse announced that they had saved it for me since my delivery took longer than expected. Kind of wish I would have had the excuse to send my husband out for takeout, but I was too hungry to turn it down.
Oh man, this post brings it all back — the L&D nurse who kicked my suitcase and complained that it was in her way, and then groused about how she hadn’t had her dinner break yet when I’d been at the hospital, sleepless and foodless, for 18 hours; the hospital midwife who visited me exactly once to glare at me while I was coming out of a contraction that I thought would break my mind and say to me “This is what labor is and it’s going to get a lot worse so you’re just going to have to get better at it” before turning and walking out the door and never returning; the first meal that came most of a day after I’d delivered because why??; the nurses who woke me every 30 minutes round the clock so that I finally gave up and went home after having been awake for nearly three days straight; the first shower that was four days after I got home because I was too ravaged to stand; the one photo of my holding my beautiful baby in my hospital bed and I look like a plane crash survivor with my hair completely askew because no one was there to help tidy me up and hand me lip gloss… I’m truly moved and glad for everyone’s positive experiences, but the entire OBGYN department at my local hospital can fall down an open manhole cover, good riddance. But, BUT, I got the kid. The best kid in the universe. The most beautiful soul I could imagine. I’d do it all again. But I sure as hell would have a doula, and friends, and maybe a lawyer.
Just wanted to say I see you! I had mixed experiences with my first daughter- mostly very kind hospital staff including a midwife who kissed my cheek when she had to leave her shift , but also one nurse who scolded me for ringing the buzzer in the night to ask a question. I will never forget her doing that at that incredibly precious and vulnerable time. Here is Australia we have recently had an inquiry into birth trauma which revealed so many harrowing and frankly dehumanising experiences of medical staff during birth. The system let’s us all down at times, despite the beautiful and dedication of so many medical professionals in the hospital birth space. I had a homebirth for my second child in part bc I just didn’t want to birth in a hospital again (hiring a skilled midwife), and I personally found this empowering and a positive experience.
Just sending good thoughts to you with these experiences! I also had a horrible time in the hospital and recovering so I want to validate you and send good wishes your way. Maybe if we have more kids, we can both have better times!
Laughed at loud at “the entire OBGYN department at my local hospital can fall down an open manhole cover, good riddance” – couldn’t relate more.
I will never forget the nurse who stayed with me (after her shift was over) to see my son come through after a 3 day long nightmare induction. She was there through 2 shifts—she came back to work and he still hadn’t been born. After it was over (3+ hours of pushing, vacuum extraction) she kissed me on the forehead. If I had been in my right mind, I would have kissed her back. An earthly angel. I could not have done it without her. I wrote a fawning letter to the hospital that I hope she and her supervisors received. Bless the nurses!
getting emotional just thinking about these fleeting, so special moments. thrilled for you !! and wish i had a pic of the nurses. nurses are HEROES!!! xo
(If you’re reading these comments from a place of uncertainty and grief about your own fertility, like me, you are not alone. I am balancing such joy and love for others with some feelings casserole for myself)
Oh Jenny, thank you for saying this. We are thinking of you, xoxo
Right here with you Jenny. After a miscarriage, I just dream about what my life could have been/could be reading these comments (and feel envy, but I hate that I feel that way). Complex feelings abound. I hope you get the life you dream of, whatever that looks like.
Jenny, I was once here and I feel these feelings in my bones. I am hoping for you.
Here with you Jenny. I am two years into TTC land with my wife. IVF has been kicking my ass and making me cry. I am desperate to graduate to learning about birth and babies, but I am uncertain if that dream will ever become a reality. Sending love to you.
For kid #2 I was SO EXCITED for the hospital food. Crazy, I know, but somebody bringing me a hot breakfast of eggs, pancakes, bacon…I’ll take it! And that first night I asked for double mashed potatoes and they kindly obliged. At that point my first was 3.5 yrs old and a picky eater, so mealtime at home was a trial and my needs came last. So to order off a menu and have it arrive while I nursed my precious baby…glorious.
As a labor & delivery nurse, PLEASE please ask to take a photo!! We pour so much of ourselves into our patient’s birth experience, we feel like family by the end of the shift. It is an honor to be a part of one of the greatest events of our lifetime, and when patients acknowledge that, our spirits are reignited and we are reminded that the work we do is truly amazing. So, yes to the photo – it means so much! Best wishes, Janelle! May you find yourself in the loving hands of a supportive, caring team!
I’m in the UK, where they bring a tea and toast trolley in after you’ve given birth. I had gestational diabetes twice and couldn’t eat many carbs, so one of my absolute favourite post-delivery moments was lying there in the delivery room, half-naked with a newborn on my chest, eating copious amounts of hot fresh toast with butter and jam.
I also had gestational diabetes! I have a treasured photo of half a cheesecake slice next to my newborn daughter. It’s only half a slice because I’d already shoved half of it into my mouth before I thought I could take a photo. First dessert in a loooong time.
After the birth of my first daughter—a long, arduous event—a nurse brought me a sad-looking sandwich: a single slice of turkey in between two soggy slices of bread, along with a little packet of mustard; all encased in plastic wrap. It was the best meal of my LIFE. I washed it down with a little box of apple juice and it was perfect. I think I kept saying, “THIS IS SO GOOD,” as I scarfed it down. Never really liked sandwiches before but now every time I have a turkey sandwich I remember the pure gratitude I felt for that meal.
I can completely relate! My hospital breakfast post birthday was delicious and for months after I would rave about how great the food was there. Not regular hospital food at all! At some point my husband gently pointed out that it was indeed regular hospital food haha.
Omg I also wolfed down a hospital turkey sandwich I would’ve otherwise found FOUL and thought it was the best thing in the world!!
With my last baby I ate not one, not two, not three, but FOUR of those terrible and wonderful vending machine turkey sandwiches. My sweet nurse just kept bringing them. I have never enjoyed a sandwich more.
As a psychiatric and addiction medicine nurse, it is difficult to allow patients to snap a photo with us, as oftentimes we don’t allow phones, which makes sense for protecting each patient’s privacy. But if I found myself in a different specialty, I would be totally honored to be in a photo with the patient! Especially in labor and delivery because more often than not, there is good news to celebrate! Birthing people are so strong and courageous, so I say definitely ask the nurse if you can snap a picture with her! She would probably be delighted!
Our postpartum nurses with our first daughter were so so kind and gentle and funny after a terrifying emergency C-section (occult cord prolapse). We loved them so much we wrote a letter to the president of the hospital naming them all, and telling him to give them a raise! Haha. We received a very nice note back.
Aww, what a sweet post. I have lots of memories from my deliveries: -my friend, an anesthesiologist, placing my epidural and being my first visitor after I delivered -watching the newly born baby get passed through the air above me and get placed on my chest, about to see her for the first time -my husband brought ice cream and other treats for me to eat while in labor, and I surprisingly didn’t want to eat anything! I was too uncomfortable -the dark, quiet moments at night when nobody is awake except you and your baby, and you just watch the baby sleep -how cute they are swaddled up with just their little heads poking out -how my son slept for an entire DAY and refused to wake for any feeds the day after he was born. My husband and I still laugh about this So many more! What a fun time!! I hope to have one more!!!
Our 4th was a wonderful surprise blessing. I remember the night before being induced & even in the hospital during the process I was so focused on labor and how painful natural labor is (did it with 3/4 of mine). When they rolled in the little baby warmer I snapped out of it & thought “oh yeah!! I have a little baby coming!!!” It was so wonderful! I do agree that introducing the kids to their new sibling is so magical. Having that alone time in the hospital is also amazing for mama & baby!
I will never forget the L&D nurse who welcomed us with a huge warm heart after 36 hours of labor at home with my first baby when we were finally admitted after being turned away from L&D twice for not being dilated enough. She was a soft place to land and I cried when I realized that she was going off shift before baby arrived. I will also NEVER forget the L&D resident we saw when we first went in (I was at contractions 5 min apart, lasting one minute, for one hour! Give it up for rule followers, people!) She checked me and then looked me right in the eye and said “Come back when it really hurts.”
Omg!— very similar situation with my labor two months ago. I was continuously turned away because my babies (twins) would be preterm (35 weeks) if they helped my labor along with some Pitocin. It was hell. And the residents I dealt with were god awful. Finally after six days of excruciating contractions, an OB took mercy and agreed to give me an epidural and some Pitocin. (I was 5 cm.) I will never forget her! I had the most blissful delivery that night after sleeping 7 hours pain free.
May that resident have that moment flash before her eyes in a moment of humility if she ever finds herself in labor
My favorite moment from the births of both of my girls is when they were placed in my arms right after being delivered. What magical, unforgettable moments of seeing my precious babies face-to-face after months of anxiously awaiting their arrival. Just thinking about it gives me baby fever! LOL!