How to Do Anything

LouLou I have no experience with IVF but I’m also a person who uses exercise to treat my anxiety. So I’ll share that the only other thing that works for me is mediation. When I’m sick or can’t work-out for some reason, that’s what I do. (Which is weird because they’re somewhat opposite? So I can’t really explain it, but both of them involve learning to get out of my head and into my body). Best wishes to you!

I did IVF. Drinking and exercising were my go to anxiety management tools back then. This will sound so stupid, but when I’m anxious I look at memes or retweets on instagram until I’m laughing out loud. Eventually something will really hit me the right way and it breaks through that. Watching shows like Sirens or White Lotus help me. During that time I couldn’t focus on anything so I wouldn’t recommend a home project, but organizing can feel very good sometimes and it’s kind of mindless. So if that’s your jam, maybe organize your closets, fridge, bathrooms, whatever. Good luck. I hope it’s successful for you. My son is 8 and it took two rounds (only one retrieval round though). Big hugs and good vibes.

Hi LouLou, is there anything that brings you into flow state? I’m studying the connection between mental health and creative arts and there is a lot of research emerging that flow state, especially when you are employing creativity AND using your hands is really effective for brain health. Think; embroidery, scrapbooking, baking, quilting, gardening.

Hello, LOULOU, I wish you all the best with your IVF journey, xx. Are you able to organize something, for example, a closet or your pantry? Organizing something makes me feel like I’ve worked out some of the muscles, and it is a productive distraction. Visualizing myself working out has been helpful also, and I use it for anything that I want to do but couldn’t do it for some reason.

Loulou, sending you love and strength. I just finished my first round of IVF and once I started, I only wished I had started sooner! There’s a relief in taking action after years of feeling helpless. And my first round was very successful and I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant with my first baby! (it’s still completely wild to write that). On exercise, an invaluable resource for me was the Element Yoga and Pilates (online classes pre-recorded and live, also with so many other helpful resources). You can safely do yoga throughout IVF (it’s actually strongly encouraged!), and it was a lifesaver for my mental, physical and spiritual health – both while TTC and during IVF. The connected podcast, Your Journey To Fertility, is also a precious gem. Good luck and sending baby dust x

Hi Loulou, I’m doing IVF right now and gentle forms of exercise are generally considered okay. Can you swap your typical exercises for something less strenuous? I bet an RE would have great advice about this. Sending love and luck your way. Xoxoxo

Hi Loulou, I am a yoga teacher and I taught all through my IVF experience. My doc said I just couldn’t twist deeply or go upside down. You can definitely do gentle classes and go for long walks. For what it’s worth, I loved going through IVF. My husband came home with an old Nintendo and some original games and I played Mario Brothers to ease anxiety!

Loulou (and other hopeful Mamas-to-be), sending you strength and love on your TTC journey. I just finished my first round of IVF and I only wish I had started sooner! It felt like a big relief to finally take action after years of feeling helpless. I got incredibly lucky with my successful first round and am currently 10 weeks into my first pregnancy – (that is still wild to write!) The exercise that saved my physical, spiritual and mental health during my TTC and IVF journey was fertility yoga and pilates (yoga and walking are especially really medically recommended during IVF!) The most valuable resource for me was “Element Pilates and Yoga”, an online set of live and pre-recorded courses and classes, plus other many wonderful resources. Also the connected podcast, Your Journey To Fertility, was a lifesaver for me. Wishing you the best as you take these next steps and sending baby dust x

Dinner parties with adorable friends who didn’t know I was going thru ivf. (I basically kept it a secret so that I could manage my anxiety!) I thought that they saw the injections a couple of times, but apparently they hadn’t. It worked on the third try and they were pleasantly surprised when I shared the news :) All the best!!

I’m sending you all the best wishes and hope for a smooth process! It is scary and overwhelming, but you will get through it and realize how incredible you are for doing it. I’ve been through the process a few times now and while it’s hard, it’s very worth it. Finding a great therapist was a total game-changer for me. I also help regulate stress through exercise, and typically the only time period your activity is really restricted is during the egg retrieval process, so 2-3 weeks max. During that time, I still walked each day. I’d also find something that comforts you and is relatively easy to get lost in – a reality show, your favorite comfort sitcom, a good romance novel, etc. – and lean into that during that time. Best of luck with the process. It can feel hard to be hopeful for yourself (because hope can feel scary, especially if you’re nervous about what the outcome will be) so I will be hopeful on your behalf!

Hi Lou Lou- I still exercised when I did IVF! I love exercise too and helps me cope, feel better, etc. When I couldn’t do more intense exercising, I either took long walks (listening to fun podcasts) , gentle yoga, or slow pedaling on my spin bike. If I needed to rest, I saved fun books, shows, puzzles, video games for those times. But honestly rest days were only for a day or 5 at the most , but those days I only wanted to rest. My IVF was successful . Best wishes to you!

Best of luck LouLou. And thanks everyone, these are great tips for those of us who have to tone down exercise after a cancer diagnosis too. I’ll use some of them! xoxo

Thanks to all of you ❤️❤️ Is it crazy to say that just the care that went into these comments brought me to tears? Good luck to everyone else in a similar boat (or any other struggle) that forces you to rethink your norm.

It’s Kristen Wiig from the movie Bridesmaids :)

I just want to say that you are not alone in these feelings. There is so much heaviness to hold.

You are not alone. On the outside I am taking the kids to camp and the pool, cooking, grocery shopping, showing up at my job. On the inside I am seething with rage and despair.

I hear you as well. Going about every day life seems completely surreal most days.

You are not alone at all. Disbelief, grief, despair. The good you did professionally meant a lot and you will find a way forward. It’s so so heavy. But you are NOT ALONE. Keep going. Xo

Anon, Sending a HUGE hug from Boston. Wish I had some great words of wisdom. Keep your family close and treasure those moments of sunshine and laughter. When one door closes, another one opens.

Yes such a great sign. Establishment Dems, we are done with you ! Let the times change, please old guard ? Let go of your egos and make way !

Yes such a great sign. Establishment Dems, we are done with you ! Let the times change, please old guard ? Let go of your egos and make way ! WE the PEOPLE are more than ready !

Just read that establishment Dems are not rallying around Mamdani. They never give up sabotaging the will of the people. Just like they did with Bernie in both his presidential primaries and with Nina Turner, etc. It’s like they don’t even see what’s going on around them.

PNW GRATEFUL, Established Dems will continue doing what’s best for them- $$$ and power. Didn’t they show enough already. Let’s believe them. The people need to hunker down and become united to do what’s good for us. We’ll keep focusing on what makes us alike, stay united and boycott all oligarch controlled companies. To get something we never had we must be willing to do what we never did.

YES!!! I loved the sincere good vibes between ZM and BL. I am so very proud of the organized people 😍. Thank you, Jess for sharing this great news.

How to staycation! 11 and 14 are a good age for a summer bucket list. I think of bucket lists by categories: Places, People, Senses, Emotions, Hobbies – all of them might lead to joy or growth, which is the goal. I would start by asking them each for one item on each category; you get to add your items of course too. Go from there in terms of budget, and level of detail. For example… Places: Go to the county fair, berry picking People: Write a letter to someone you have been meaning to get in touch with (or someone famous!) Senses: Do an ice cream taste test, go to a concert in the park Emotions: Watch a film that will make you laugh, cry, etc., Hobbies: Make a wildflower arrangement, learn to do macrame really well, etc.,

My 12 year old daughter and I made summer bingo cards! Including things like picnics (with specific people, at specific places), sew a skirt, swim in a lake, go paddle boarding, city beach day, sleep on trampoline, island beach day, make pottery, do long hike, boat picnic, day at an amusement park, make scrapbook, walk to library, etc. We just brainstormed every fun thing we could think of and added it :)

My mom would make us a summer bingo every year, like a 5×5 bingo chart and we would write activities in the squares and check them off. We had lots of fun free or cheap activities, like run through the sprinklers, go to an outdoor movie (our city put on lots of fun free events like this), do crafts, make a new recipe, go on a walk/hike, explore a new area in town, have a play date, play a favorite card game, make fairy houses, and so on. So many of the fun things I did as a kid were free/ low cost but fun and memorable!

Sorry about the dang doge. Things I did when my kids were those ages: galleries or museum passes and play games around them; coney island; zoos (even older ages can be fun if you haven’t gone in a while); gardens; ferry rides; picking restaurants in places you haven’t really visited; we have a family game we play where we go to a store and each have $10 , draw names, and then have 30 minutes to buy something for the person we drew.

Visit your local library and ask the librarians for ideas. They may have resources you haven’t thought of — some libraries have passes to local museums that you can check out for a few days or weeks, for example.

And trips to the library! Get ice cream afterwards ❤️I’m so sorry your job got DOGE’ed. I can’t wait for the tides of democracy to rise again. Lots of love to you and your family 🫶🏽

Maybe geo-caching? https://www.geocaching.com/play

Sorry you got DOGE’d. Loving these comments! I second (third?) the library! In addition to a world of books and other media, our libraries host events all summer long for people of all ages: Lego challenges, chess clubs, songwriter workshops, zine workshops… my kids and I still haven’t tried everything. We also lean hard into movies at home. Like, one every afternoon if we’re bored. Rock docs in particular make me feel like I’m giving my kids a cultural education ;) Pick recipes and cook them together; visit every pool in a 3 county area and bring friends along; spend $15 on amazon for some new craft kits for hours of creativity…

Vermont has what they call a Good Citizen Challenge, but it’s also a fun/interesting summer bucket list for anyone: https://goodcitizenvt.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/flyer-GC25.pdf With my kids (10 & 12), it’s a lot of rides on the bikes path, swimming, kayaking, UNO, rummy, Dungeons and Dragons, assigning them the task of making dinner more often and helping them comb through cookbooks to find recipes they like, etc. Oh, and all four of us are reading (or re-reading) The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings series and watching the movies together :)

With my kids (10 & 12), it’s a lot of rides on the bikes path, swimming, kayaking, UNO, rummy, Dungeons and Dragons, assigning them the task of making dinner more often and helping them comb through cookbooks to find recipes they like, etc. Oh, and all four of us are reading (or re-reading) The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings series and watching the movies together :)

Volunteer work springs to mind! My parents both did and still do many volunteer activities. As a kid, I was often brought along and put to work and it was honestly great. I still love the camaraderie of working with people on a shared mission. It sounds like you have an abundance of time, and kids of that age can be genuinely helpful in many ways! Food pantries and homeless shelters tend to have a consistent need for help and many jobs that kids can help with; animal shelters might be another possibility. There are programs that need more of a regular commitment, and other places that have occasional volunteer events where lots of people can jump in. A lot of summer camps for low-income kids can use extra hands. Interest in community gardens tends to peter out in the summer months, so help there generally tends to be appreciated!

I love this! It’s so true. It’s also why I love reading Country Living magazine. So many other magazines feel like they’re about, as you so perfectly put it, optimization. Country Living always feels to me like someone saying “Oh my gosh, look at this cool thing!” Cup of Jo feels the same way to me.

Rebecca, I just read it cover to cover in less than a day. So good!!

Second that–a beautiful, inspirational read/listen.

thanks for sharing this recommendation, I’ve added it to my list.

Totally agree!

Agreed! I really admire how you show your values through your leadership by having dedicated periods where the site is on pause. I know that’s a challenging thing for a website to do, but during your summer and winter holidays, as well as some sick days, it shows that the amazing people behind this site (and their wellbeing) are more important than the bottom line.

Sasha, where can we find your felt doggies? We had a friend just lose a dear pet and this would be such a thoughtful gift!

Maryn, I’m so sorry for your friend’s loss. You can message me on fb messenger Sasha Lindberg, or email me bellebirthing@msn.com. or find me on Instagram, lindbergsasha

565 on Sunday evening after a tough day. Thank you!

Thank you for sharing! I love this game—I never beat the chickens but had so much fun trying!

Sister chicken game, alum! 🐥😊

Hi Martha! We have a few city guides here in case that is helpful: https://cupofjo.com/category/travel/city-guide-series/

awwwwww xoxoxo

hear hear!! rest is essential

Amen!

FULL stop