How Beautiful Are These Comics About Finding Your Way?
A couple weeks ago, our wonderful contributor Ruth Chan sent Joanna and me an email with these comics and a note: “I recently found these comics that I’d made years ago while going through the hardest time of my life. I called them ‘Portraits of the Unsure.’ I still cry reading them, so I thought they might resonate with CoJ readers?”
As soon as I clicked into them, I, too, felt my throat tighten and tears well up. Because in each comic — featuring an adorable animal sharing a confession about feeling lost or embracing a hard-earned lesson — I saw a small part of myself, as well. Here are the comics, plus a Q&A with Ruth…
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Jannelle: When you drew these comics, what was going on in your life?
Ruth: I was 32 and had just separated from my husband and lost my job. I had to move out of our joint apartment because I didn’t have the income to stay. Everything I knew was suddenly gone.
That’s so hard.
I was severely depressed. The only things I could manage were walking my dog and painting these animal portraits. I started with just one, and then continued making one a day. Now looking back, I can tell that creating them was my way to process everything I was feeling.
What kind of job were you laid off from?
I was in community-based nonprofit management, and it was actually through painting these portraits that I started getting the courage and excitement to think, ‘Oh, maybe I do want to be an illustrator.’ I was at the bottom, so there was nowhere to go but up. These portraits were the beginning of building a portfolio. I also started taking children’s book illustration classes at the School of Visual Arts.
From this series, which comic most resonates with you today?
The marching band one. These days, I’m still always trying to stop controlling things. As a parent, I find that especially hard to wrap my head around, since all I want is to control the chaos! But I have to actively tell myself, ‘It’s okay if my daughter gets messy. It’s okay if she doesn’t eat much lunch because she wants to spend time outside. Let the day be unpredictable. It’s fine.’ Because that’s when the amazing things can happen, you know?
It’s a great lesson.
Also, the bowling pin one. It’s so hard for me to ask for help, even though I know my friends and family are there for me.
When you were going through your divorce, what did friends and family do that helped?
My friend Jane brought up the idea for us to share a Blue Apron subscription, which turned into us routinely going over to each other’s places to cook together. I think that was her way of making sure that I wasn’t eating alone, or that I was even eating, in such a thoughtful, lovely way. Whenever I think of that period in my life, I remember the devastation. But I’m also always overwhelmed by the wonderful ways that my friends stepped in without being asked.
Many of these comics are about accepting one’s whole self. What have you learned about owning your own personal identity?
What I love about these portraits is that all the animals are flawed. They’re a little goofy, or a little broken, or a little weird. And I think that gets across the idea that being our authentic selves helps us connect with other people. Trying to be perfect around each other is a barrier to building real, intimate relationships.
Finally, what would you say to someone who is going through a hard time, when it’s hard to imagine that there’s good on the other side?
There’s often a huge fear of change because you don’t know what’s on the other side. But today, I’m standing on the other side, and I’m so happy. And if I hadn’t lost my job, I don’t know if I would have become an illustrator. You never know what might come from a big change in your life, but it could be really wonderful, beautiful things. You just have to be open to it.
Thank you so much, Ruth!
P.S. A trick to stop worrying, and why grief is like butter.
Comments
70 commentsI’m 6+ years into a chronic illness and still feeling unsure of myself and my future. All of these are so heartening–thank you for sharing, Ruth <3
This is one of my all time favourite posts, and I have been reading COJ for ever! Thank you for sharing the illustrations and the interview. I absolutely loved the bowling pin.
Thank you for sharing! I love them all.
After the initial post, I thought I had picked my favorite (the determined hedgehog, which reminds me of an author who described herself as “the kind of grown-up who deals with wanting things by doing what I can to get them”)…but then I clicked through to the linked prints, and now I want a greeting card of the alligator to send to my dentist and a congratulations card with the wise owl to send to some graduates in my life and a card with the self-conscious shark to send to the friend who always answers my 3 AM “was it weird that I…?” texts, and, and… They’re all so charming and so relatable!
Hi Everyone- Thank you so much for the love on these little guys! I just wanted to pop on here to let everyone know that I have made all of the Portraits of the Unsure available for prints so your loved ones (or yourself lol) can share in all the feels :) Available here: https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/ohtruth/ – Ruth C.
And wait, there’s MORE!!!! The lemmings and cute anteater and broken egg….omg I love them all!!!
Yay! Ordered a print now.
thank you for these drawings, I do find them very helpful, cute and relatable. And ofc: so happy that you managed to go through that tough period of your life! good job :-)
I love these so much. Thank you for sharing these, and the stories that go behind them. :-)
I love this! Thank you for your art and honesty Ruth ❤️ I’m trying to remember the motto I read on cup of jo- in the comments maybe or maybe it was an article? It was something along the lines of “whatever comes, I can handle it” but I think it was worded better than that. Does anyone more what I’m talking about?! 😅
“whatever it is, I’ll handle it.” From this article on Big Salad: https://joannagoddard.substack.com/p/nicki-sebastian-favorite-things
Oh my. Thanks for sharing your truth. Always feels so good to hear it. Not to mention seeing it illustrated so beautifully. A gift. Thank you, Ruth!
Love all of these so much. Can we buy them as prints?
Hi! I made prints available here! https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/ohtruth/
Oh my goodness, the waiting puppy immediately made me choke up. I saw so many people I loved in her sad eyes. A hug to anyone who has endured a neglectful, emotionally, financially or physically abusive relationship, whether it be a significant other, friend, family member and especially parent. And so waited with the unrealized hope and trust that they would eventually stop hurting you.
Same here, Jeanne, that one really got to me. Love these comics. Love what you said here.
My 3-year-old son is currently obsessed with Ruth’s book “Georgie’s Best Bad Day.” He wants to read it over and over. Our favorite illustration is the one where Georgie the cat has a Mason jar stuck on his head and is staring out from the inside; the illustration depicts his comically distorted view through the glass. It makes me smile every time!
Ohhhhhh the hedgehog. I love her. I kind of am her. Finally, really launching something I have longed for! Hedgehogs of the world, GO GET EM!
These are wonderful comics. Thank you for sharing them and for the interview.
I am having such a hard time lately, and these comics made me feel a little less alone.
I needed this today. Thank you so much.
So much tenderness here from Ruth, which is no surprise. I had to put down my dog last week, after a long journey with cancer, and I felt my heart swell and break, just like that hummingbird.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Grace. Dogs are such special parts of our lives, and their passing can be so devastating. Will be thinking of you ❤️
I’m so sorry, Grace. Losing a pet is so terrible. There’s something particularly hard about choosing to put a dog down (which I have done twice) — it’s the compassionate, kind, and loving thing, but it feels so surreal to be making that choice. And of course then you have a gaping hole in your life. Sending you a big hug.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Being a dog owner is so bittersweet. I still deeply miss my beloved dogs who have already left me— they are the best of friends. Hang in there. The brutal pain softens in time.
Thanks Elizabeth, Stacia and Anna. I’m starting to have some good days where I’m grateful for a time together, and not just angry and sad.
I have a heart disorder and my heart isn’t supposed to work very hard; when I feel it ramping up, I send it a huge wave of love, and that can help it chill out a little bit. That hummingbird friend just really speaks to me. So much love to give, so much love to receive. Echoing the hope that these might be available as prints!
Awww, I really love this. I have several long-term health issues too—hard, painful, sometimes scary stuff—and the way you send love to your heart really spoke to me. It’s such a kind way to care for yourself. I’m going to try doing that too.
<3 corrie! it was a recommendation of my therapist (i do internal family systems therapy, so we work with parts — this is my heart part). we did it together a few times, just sitting with this heart part and getting to know it, and that really helped me kind of figure out how it felt. i'm a pagan quaker (i guess?) and for me, it's been like holding my heart in the light: whatever's there, it's all welcome, and i just try to let it know it's being held by and with compassion and warmth and understanding. sending love to you too, as you navigate the health stuff.
I also want to buy these! I think I have been all of these at some point in my life. The tenderness one feels for each of these beings is so visceral. I hope Ruth feels good today and then takes it one day at a time.
Hi! I made prints available here! https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/ohtruth/
If Ruth has more, these could be a wonderful small book. This is just what is needed for the moments when there is little to say.
Totally – don’t you want to buy the set because there’s always someone who would need just one of them so perfectly!
Hi! I made prints available here! https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/ohtruth/
First, these are truly beautiful. Thank you for sharing them with us, Ruth. Second, I was having an especially hard time last fall. I decided to start gratitude journaling, but wanted to make it fun so I would stick with it. I enjoy arts and crafts, but don’t always have the time or energy, so I started using Canva. I pick graphics and upload photos, it’s almost like my digital scrapbook/journal. I did it non-stop for three months and now do it a few times a week. It’s a healing and fun exercise. I noticed that I am now conditioned to find the good so I can journal about it and looking back on how far we’ve come in the past year is an unexpected bonus. For anyone going through a hard time, I wish you grace from yourself and others.
Ooooh, I love this! I used to keep a collage-style journal too, and—funny enough—I just started thinking about trying it again using Canva. If you ever share your creations on Instagram or a website, I’d love to follow along and see what you’re up to. I bet lots of folks in the Cup of Jo community would feel the same!
I found out I would need a double mastectomy the same day we decided we had to put my dad in a memory care facility. It’s been a rough few weeks. That crying crocodile grabbed me immediately. Thank you.
oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, Erin.
Oh, my gosh, Erin. I’m so sorry. That’s too much to deal with at once. Giant hugs, and best of luck to you, your dad, and everyone who love you.
Erin, So sorry that things are so hard right now. I’m sending you positive thoughts and my very best wishes as you navigate through everything.
I never thought I’d relate so much to a bowling pin. Honestly, I should get the marching band one tattooed on my arm. It’s so true, and I need that reminder constantly. I’m cheering on the hedgehog! And the not touchy-feely dog made me laugh and cry. The giraffe; been there. These are so relatable. What I love about these is that they are relatable to everyone, but everyone will relate to a different one the most. These are so special. Thank you for sharing! Also, sharing a meal box as a sneaky way to have a consistent check-in with a struggling friend is so incredibly brilliant.
I love Roz Chast and all of these! My daughter is going through her second bout with breast cancer and starts chemo next week, the bowling pin describes her perfectly. Roz absolutely helped me through both of my parent’s decline and loss with her poignant “Can’t We Take About Something More Pleasant”, I would never have made it thorough such a difficult time without her empathy and humor. She always makes us feel like we are not alone.
Ruth Chan’s above comics give me a lovely Roz Chast feeling too; like they’re cousin comics. There’s something even more heart-centered about Ruth’s work that just makes me feel safe, though, and that’s not something I see almost anywhere else.
Geri, how incredibly hard it is to watch your child suffer. Sending up a prayer for the best possible result. You must be an incredible support for her….stay strong. 💪
Geri, Wishing you and your daughter the very best. I hope that your daughter’s chemo is successful.
I am the giraffe… After working part time for 13 years while raising my kids, I took an opportunity with a new company. After a few months I got promoted and a team. From then on, the wider team turned vicious and I have never felt so hurt and lost in my life :(
I am so sorry and I sit with you in kindness – a few years ago I landed my dream job but the Chair of the organisation made my life a misery. Her hideousness was unrelenting, and even thought Board were prepared to sack her her social kudos was so great that it would have hurt the organisation whose work was too important, I clung for so long but one day found myself seriously about to take my life and thankfully I had a moment of clarity and just quit…. but it still kills me how another person’s meanness can kill your dreams, and almost everything about you. I know work is important, but it shouldn’t suffocate who you are. I hope you can get management on side to transform the wider culture – this should never happen. I am so so so sorry.
Meg and Kirby, I am also so sorry you each had such horrible experiences at work. I hope you both had/have good people in your personal lives to help you heal and move into better places. And Kirby, from an Internet stranger, I’m so glad you decided to stay in this world. Everyone is unique which means that we need everyone’s contributions for as long as possible! Hugs and love to both of you. Be well.
I would also like to purchase! I am a therapist and these could be really helpful and resonate with clients just like they do so many readers here!
Hi! I made prints available here! https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/ohtruth/
I love that both my daughters and I can all be Ruth Chan fans. I love these comics, as well as her other works aimed at adults, and my 9 year old daughter loves her illustrations in Hard Boiled Bugs for Breakfast, and my younger daughter, 3, loves her illustrations in The Great Indoors.
I would buy every single balloon animal that hedgehog makes. My heart!
Thank you, Ruth. I am the hedgehog in your portraits. I am taking on a new job in June–a little intimidated but hopeful. All the best to you and to all those that appreciated this post :)
I am the hedgehog this week! After working “traditional” jobs the past 20 years, I decided to go for it and set myself free. I started a training program to become a life coach and just put my new business venture out into the world via LinkedIn and Substack. This very week. Eek. I’ve felt like Kristen Wiig in the Surprise Party SNL skit. Full of nervous energy but “so freakin excited.”
Congratulations! The more unpredictable life becomes, the more we need individuals who know how to help people come back to themselves and their inner knowings in practical and supportive ways.
Best wishes for success in your new venture!
You’re both so kind. Thanks for the encouragement!
Wow, so much captured in s single thought! I have felt them all at different points in my life. Reflective sojourns. 🙏
The waiting dog is making me cry
It made me cry too, I’ve been that dog in a past relationship, and it was so hard to let go of the person even though I knew deep down they weren’t the right one for me. xoxo
And the fact that he trusted her! Oh, I sure hope She came back.
All of these resonate. Thank you, Ruth, for sharing.
Would Ruth consider selling prints of these? I love them so much!
Agreed! I would purchase these in a heartbeat!
Came here to ask this!
Yes, please to prints! These are so beautiful, so honest. Thank you Ruth for sharing such a vulnerable space. The comment about perfection limiting our relationships… *sigh* isn’t it so silly how many of us think we need to “be” something when the wonderful/powerful thing we could be is…. our true, whole self? It’s a journey ❤️ thank you for sharing this today
Yes, I was going to ask the same thing!! Or, other comics that she’s made as well!
Me too! Would love to purchase some of these as postcards or prints to frame!
Yes I’d dearly love to purchase too!
Hi! I made prints available here! https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/ohtruth/