Have a Lovely Weekend.
What are you up to this weekend? I’m celebrating a dear friend’s birthday tonight, and the boys wanted to write a birthday card for her. “Try to write at least four sentences,” I recommended, to which they immediately responded in unison, “‘Happy birthday’ counts as a sentence!” Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…
My conversation with Kate Baer, where we cover saggy boobs, turning 40, and writing honestly about marriage and motherhood. (Big Salad, free for all)
Also, Erica Chidi shares pretty pajamas and her beautiful proposal story. (Big Salad, paywalled)
What it’s like being a firefighter with OCD. (NYTimes gift link)
What sexy swimsuits.
How to write delightful snail mail. “Letters don’t always have to be life updates… Draw a map of a stroll you often take through your neighborhood, with descriptions of your favorite memories in each place. Make your own Mad Libs for the recipient to fill out. You can also skip writing and send Polaroids of snapshots from your life, or personal recipes.”
My boys gobbled up this cheddar-roasted broccoli. (NYTimes gift link)
In other vegetable news, salt and vinegar cabbage!
This 323-square-foot home was designed to feel like a luxury hotel.
20 short rules for better days at work. “Play music that came out the year you turned 18. If you work in an office it’ll be a conversation starter and might even defang ageism by normalizing BEING AN AGE, any age. Plus, there’s no music that’ll brighten your day faster than your teenage music.”
This made my dry heels instantly sandal-ready.
Twins speaking in unison. “We have tried to talk separately, but it’s not ourselves, it’s not us.”
Awkward family photos, haha.
Plus, seven reader comments (because we couldn’t narrow them down!)…
Says Jess on guess who was on Jeopardy last night: “I was driving around the day before my husband’s funeral, and I picked up the phone to talk to him about what kind of pickles we should serve… at his funeral. It’s so weird when your humans just vanish. I still text him on WhatsApp, and I’m still sometimes surprised when he doesn’t reply.”
Says Hali on three transgender kids share their stories: “A few months before my grandma died, we were up late talking about transgender kids. She was 93. She explained that she knew kids like to experiment and go through phases and some kids are a little different, but that she didn’t believe anyone was truly transgender. She expressed frustration about parents enabling children to behave certain ways. It was a calm conversation. I’m terrible with speaking my mind (I always come on too righteous and passionate), so I mostly stayed quiet and listened. I remembered a similar post on CoJ (“My Child is Transgender”) and emailed the link to my grandma. It gave her a perspective that changed how she saw everything. She wrote back thanking me; I think about it all the time.”
Says Karen on 8 readers share what they love about their looks: “Today I learned that we Cup of Jo readers are a bunch of stone cold foxes — absolutely stunning! It reminds me of my kid’s favorite Sesame Street book from the ’90s: We’re Different, We’re the Same, and We’re All Wonderful. And aren’t we just? Big love to everyone here.”
Says Allison on 8 readers share what they love about their looks: “I found myself looking carefully at each photo in this post before reading it, trying to guess in advance what they might say. And I realized that it was an impossible task, because there were SO MANY beautiful things to find in every single person. I hope I remember that when I look in the mirror, especially right now as I am undergoing treatment for breast cancer. My hair is thinning, I might lose my eyebrows, the treatment is irritating my skin, but I am still me. My husband tells me that I will still be just as beautiful as ever – just ‘badass beautiful.’ Thank you for this wonderful reminder of that.”
Says Lauren O. on the simplest dessert: “I once yearned for cookies but had no chocolate chips in the house, so I hacked up a bunch of weird, fancy chocolate bars I’d brought home from the giveaway table at work (Sea salt! Caramel! Dried fruit! Chiles! The corpses of other snacks and desserts!) It was great. Now I always get my freak on in the Pretentious Chocolate Aisle at the supermarket before I bake.”
Says Whitney on what non-flashy things do you love? “When I’m lying in bed reading, and my husband rests his hand on the inside of my thigh. Not flashy, but damn it makes me feel content.”
Says Julie on what non-flashy things do you love? “That space on the side of my kids’ faces where their cheek meets their temple, you know the spot right beyond the eye? I’m not a super touch-feely person but I’m already mourning the day they’re too old for me to kiss them right in that spot.”
(Photo by Artem Podrez/Stocksy.)
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Comments
95 commentsThe layout of the Paris apartment makes no sense. Where do you eat? Where do your guests eat Standing up? On the tiny coffee table? On your laps on the pale beige sofa? Are your clothes stored in the closets in the entryway? Is that where you dress in the morning? I guess it could be a personal choice but why is the bathroom so big and the salon/kitchen so small? The finishings and paint colors are beautiful but I would question the organizational and layout decisions.
I love the story about delightful snail mail. My sister in law sends cards to a lot of people not only for birthdays and holidays, but often for no reason at all. She makes them herself on Zazzle and tailors them to the recipient’s tastes; mine always are of Paris scenes or gardens. She writes goofy jokes in them – ex. “if a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?” or “you can’t buy happiness, but you can buy pizza, which is kind of the same thing”….I’ve told her that it brings joy to get one of her cards in the mail and I keep them and use them as bookmarks…I often reread the jokes when I open the book.
“four sentences and at least one has to be something specific you can only say to this person!” – that’s my card writing advice for my kids joanna, love yours is similar!
hahahaha love that!
Completely unrelated but I wanted to post a thank-you to the person who shared her fail-safe tea latte recipe in the comments a couple months ago. Your formula (2 tea bags, 1/2 cup water, 1 tsp maple syrup, steep 6 min, 1 cup hot, frothed milk) has transformed my Monday morning treat and become something I really look forward to. I raise my mug to you this morning in thanks!
Oooooh! Exciting!!
Just tried this and it’s a game changer! THANK YOU!
This is such a gem tip, thank you for sharing! Just tried. Tea game upped x10!!
Thank you for sharing, I’m going to try!
Roasted broccoli is on constant rotation at our house, but my littlest has some texture issues with the florets – the “broccoli hair” as they say. So now, we’ve started roasting up some strictly “broccoli butts” as well (longer stem pieces with no florets at all) that are specifically for our littlest! It’s a small modification that means the kiddo still gets vegetables without us having to cook up something completely separate! (School was unimpressed with the kiddo talking about “broccoli butts” so we’ve had to correct to “broccoli bottoms” in public spaces – I guess for the PreK crowd, “butts” is a potty word, even when associated with broccoli!)
I love the accommodation for your youngest and the laugh this gave me on this Monday morning
This made me laugh, because I call the core of a head of lettuce the “butt” of the lettuce, and am dismayed if I find any in a purchased salad.
I had to laugh because the FUSSKRAFT cream is a German pharmacy staple for 6 bucks : )
It probably won’t get posted till way later, but I just spent an hour and a half sitting on a porch talking with a really good looking and thoughtful man and I’m pretty sure I made an idiot of myself.
TANYA, please accept my sincere regards -congratulations – condolences and all of the HUGS for the awkwardness of the anxious ruminating thoughts after a social hangout especially with a cute guy! You are not alone and feel free to update us :)
Hi Tanya, 90mins of talking (without one party running away shouting “I saw a dinosaur, I need to leave / my helicopter is ready / I saw somebody at the other side of the porch I haven’t seen in ages and I will just quickly say hello and then get back to you (in like never) sounds as if your vibes connected, idiot or not :) As Anni said, feel free to update us!
Tanya! Socially awkward human here – I feel you. It’s my genuine experience, though, that everyone has a different idea of what actually constitutes fumbling the ball. I bet it didn’t go as poorly as you think, and no matter what, much respect for reaching out to a new person! I’ll second the offer to update us, if it feels right. <3
I’d bet good money that good looking and thoughtful man is thinking the same thing about himself somewhere right now and hoping you liked him.
Thanks everyone (((hugs back))). I’m definitely still thinking about it, also in a season of not pursuing, also trying to be hopeful, also wanting him to old-school make the first move. I deserve that. I can make the first move, but I ought not.
A couple Fridays ago, you posted a very silly chicken game and at first I thought “but why?” Well, my toddler is currently having a hard time falling asleep, and I’m doing some camping out in his room at bedtime. That silly chicken game has become my companion, and every night as I sit in his room and play, I think of this community and that maybe someone else is also lining up chickens? It’s a comforting thought at a lonely time. So thanks!
Oh my gosh, I am in this club! I’ll think of you tonight when I’m waiting for my kiddo to fall asleep, lining up my chickens and trying not to look at the clock.
Very much still lining up chickens, here :) why won’t they line up?!?!
I love the chicken game, too.
I *finally* won that infuriating chicken game while lying on the floor waiting for my kids to fall asleep. I know I can clear my cache to play again, but I won’t. I won. I saved all the chickens. My life’s purpose has been fulfilled.
I have a very, very boring office job where I pretty much sit around for eight hours (giving my two week notice to become an art teacher again very soon!!) and this chicken game has been my best friend since it was mentioned here. I’ve gotten down to 32 chickens!
Take this in the spirit of an addict’s confession rather than a humble brag… you guys, I play that chicken game until I win. Every time, every day.
Wishing you all a calm evening and co-operative chickens (and children)! xo
I love it too. So much better than social media these days. The lowest I’ve gotten is 60 odd, and I feel like I’m still high from that lol. Those of you who have cracked it (ha ha) please give tips.
Oof! That chicken game is ruining me! I sent it to my dad who said he stayed up until 2:30am playing it the first night! I let my 10 year old try it, he has been wanting to play a video game. He got down to 26 chickens on his second try. What?!
I am not Catholic, but this year for lent I decided to write a card a day to someone. It was the most rewarding thing I have done in a long time. I thought I was doing it to make someone else’s day, but it always ended up making mine. I would try not to think about what I wanted to say until I sat down to write it, and it never ceased to amaze me how the words would just pour out. I tried to say specifically why I loved or missed them, and as the words tumbled out, it just made me so very thankful to have them in my life and for the opportunity to tell them. Sometimes I would get texts later saying that they didn’t know how I knew they needed that, but that my card came at just the right moment. It was so humbling and so fun and kind of changed my life. I highly recommend snail mail.
that sounds so beautiful, Kristen!
Ohhhhh I love this.
Lovely. I second this. I’ve been sending snail mail on a casual basis for about 30 years now. It’s rare that one of my people physically writes back – I noticed you mentioned *text* replies – but honestly, that doesn’t matter. It’s therapeutic for US, and folks honestly do reply in their own fashion. If anyone wants to get into writing by hand, I recommend thrift stores. I find there’s lots of leftovers from when the practice was more common, and the unique stationary you find adds to the charm.
Are the swimsuits sexy, or is it just the very thin women wearing them?
Amen Elisa, my thought exactly (and in fact, my thought anytime I see any Sezanne clothing).
Have to say a massive thank you for the embarrassing family photos link. That has truly made my day & provided a great laugh for a Sunday morning. Some truly classic pics!
The Australian twins run a pelican and seabird rescue and are trying to use their new renown to raise money for the rescue. Here it is for anyone who, like me, was mesmerized by the clip: https://www.gofundme.com/f/qv4qs-twinnies-pelican-and-seabird-rescue
Out to eat in Boulder tonight, I saw woman eating When Breath Becomes Air and just wanted to let you know! Xoxo
Okay, I know exactly what you mean but the snort that came out of me at the thought of a woman eating the book! I needed that.
I was a MadLib lover as a teen and my Mother was very big on wordplay games as gifts. Find the word and circle it (what’s the formal name?) was another one we loved. The NYT Games section is my daily wordplay now. Cheddar roasted cauliflower is equally tasty! First strawberry rhubarb pie of the season, baked. Followed Ali’s (Alexandra’s Kitchen) pie crust recipe-so so tender-good, so reliable. Gave a good listen to the new album by Goose. MSGarden concert this summer. Painted the bathroom sage green-refresh. Potted new houseplants.
Wordsearch is the name :)
That’s it! @Sarah Levy. Tyou.
The AD article about the apartment is not accessible..
Happy independent bookstore day! I had brunch at Buvette (that French toast, chef’s kiss*), hit up Three Lives and Co for a stack of books, came home and made the apple crisp from this site with. Few apples just about to turn and the cheesy broccoli from today’s links to go with leftover pasta for dinner. Enjoy your weekend!
I have a question: what do we do when the time when we can smooch our kids is over??? it’s a thing. there’s a certain desire for a child’s person, you know? it feels like having babies flipped a switch and it won’t just flip off; I still want to smooch my 10 and 12 year olds exactly as much as I did when they were squishy babies, but I know it’s not appropriate anymore. maybe it’s time to get a cat?? a puppy? my husband is great but he’s all rough and hairy. and he’s not one of my babies. any advice? is this yet another new part of parenthood that I didn’t bargain for? p.s. I was talking about this with my sister and mom (90), and we asked her if she still felt this way about her kids. she does. is this why some moms push so hard for grandkids?????? *forehead slap as once again I understand why my mom did something that seemed crazy*
Emily, I mean this sincerely, but what do you mean it’s not appropriate to kiss your children? I have a fifteen year old son and my husband and I kiss him daily! Good morning, goodnight, whenever! I’ve never even contemplated that it might be wrong to kiss him.
Just dropped my four year old off at nursery after a (LONG) 2 week spring break and was overcome with the same exact question! The urge to just scoop up his whole head with my hands and swallow him whole with face kisses feels weirdly primal. He’s growing up and growing BIG and I can’t imagine a world where I can’t just nuzzle close to him and breath in his little stinky morning breath and soapy hair and kiss his bouncy cheeks, yet I know that will be come weird before too long. I have a toddler too, and devour her too! But my boy is just so big now and it’s devastating thinking about the last time he will allow me to smooch his little nose and brows and cheeks when he needs attention. Parenthood is extremely weird and emotional.
I have no answers, only observations. I have learned that giving my 13 year old nearly man-sized kid a kiss on the cheek is AWFUL, almost PAINFUL, but giving him a quick kiss on the temple or even just on his hair? Still OK. I’m holding onto that temple kiss as long as I possibly can.
Get a cat, the cat will love you but also your kids will come out of their room and hang with the cat (and thus you by association). It’s the best tip a much older friend gave me.
Bree Groff, where have you been all my life? Her Substack is the best I have read in ages. Loving this one “I’m drawn to people who are more free than I am.” about role models and showing up as-you-are to work, life, all of it. https://breegroff.substack.com/p/give-no-shits-role-models I moved to a senior community last year and as one of the youngest residents (under 60) I have gotten to know and love some of my rad neighbors. They are women in their 60s to 90s who are living life– gardening, socializing, painting, organizing. My 94 year old neighbor was fighting mild COVID but wanted to go to the Hands Off March last month. When I asked her if she brought her own sign, she replied “I brought three!” Sparkly-eyed, feisty, funny, beautiful humans. No bullshit conversations with these folks–they either keep in light or engage in actual discussions. I love it and it has made such a difference in how I see others and see myself.
Hi Jo and lovely readers, I have a special request for a blog post over the next few weeks–would you consider posting a list of women’s rights organizations we all can get behind supporting for Mother’s Day, when our families ask us what we want? Here is the idea: Normally I would be “all in” for a beautiful new treat or dinner out. But, for the first time, in 2025, what I am asking my family for, is to donate the same amount of money they would have spent on my Mother’s Day gift to organizations that are fighting to protect the health and rights of women in the United States! What I really want for Mother’s Day this year is access to contraception for my daughters, protection for research into women’s health, and protection for the right to vote (!). Think about it–a full spa day could cost $200-300 dollars, dinner out with the extended family? maybe even $1000. Even a pair of PJs could run from $30-100. Mani-Pedi? $30-$80. Just think of the impact if all us moms across the US tell our families to donate to organizations like Indivisible, NOW, Magee Women’s Research Institute– or any other group fighting to protect Moms, Daughters, Grandmas, and Aunts in the US! Readers, if you agree, pass this idea on to friends and families!
I love this idea!!
Last night while making dinner ‘Don’t Change, by INXS came on – a song I hadn’t heard in decades – it took me right back to college (or high school?) with a smile as I remembered ALL the lyrics! Exactly what is described in 20 ways to make your work day better :)
Wow, I could not listen to those twins for more than 20 seconds. That was painful for me!
The OCD article brought me to tears…I read it earlier this week and still can’t stop thinking about it.
Same, Teresa. I have OCD (which thankfully is manageable with therapy and meds) and my heart just went out to that gentleman. The courage he demonstrates just to face every day…I hope he knows how brave and incredible he is.
omg. I know exactly where Julie is talking about. It’s because it’s my favorite spot to kiss on my dog… whoops hahaha
I love how any Cup of Jo post can take me down a rabbit hole of fun. I read the post and then clicked on Four Fun Things at the bottom because I liked the look of the bed, from there I followed a comment thread which took me to an article about the whole flat. I could happily live there with the gorgeous orange painted dining furniture and art wall behind it. Happy Saturday. X
Jo, you looked so pretty in the conversation with KB, especially your eyes ( I didn’t notice before!). If there were ANYTHING I could do for Jess to make her feel better, I would do it in a heartbeat. I checked out that foot cream and stopped where it says “tried and tested ingredient”, like on whom- animals? I wouldn’t like it one bit if someone took my babies to test something. So there ( please choose Cruelty Free).
Too funny to see reference to the random Sesame Street book “We’re Different” here. I literally just took that book home from my in-laws house last weekend. They kept EVERYTHING from my husband’s childhood and pull out random things when we go over, and I liked that one and asked if we could have it. My toddler has had us reading it all week.
Marissa, I am the Karen in the comment and our toddler LOVES it too and always picks it from the bookcase after I found it on Thriftbooks. Love that your in-laws kept it!
Gosh, the reader comments melted my heart!! The eloquence describing the beauty & the wonder – I love it all!! Incredible post & pics & AMAZING comments. Thank you! xoxo
Our Chicago-based book club (started in the CoJ comment section!) is meeting tomorrow for brunch and a bookstore book crawl through Hyde Park to celebrate indie bookstore day. Can’t wait and will def be snagging a book or two I learned about from this blog!
Ahh, I’m fairly new to Chicago! Can I join???
This just to say, thanks for being a glimmery spot in the bleakness of late, COJ.
Oh my heart – the highlighted comments this week.❤️
A coworker told me recently that when she travels she sends a postcard to herself from wherever she’s traveled to. She said it’s a nice surprise when she gets back home and is interesting to see how long they take to reach her from different countries, if they even do. Thought it was a great idea :)
I can confirm the salt and vinegar cabbage is delish. It’s also a recipe in her latest cookbook. The husband and I love it. We eat a lot of cabbage and pickled things though. A LOT.
On the topic of “rules for better days at work”: does anyone have suggestions about what to talk about with your coworkers at lunch? We’re a motley crew that leans quiet…
I walk 5 mins to my car for solitary lunch. Can’t imagine talking through break. I go to my car just to avoid it. When I didn’t have that option at my past job, I read a book in the break room. Even though at that job I was very close to my co workers. Just to say, I think leaning quiet during lunch might be common.
Pleeeeease go support your local independent bookstore tomorrow, Saturday 4/26, on Indie Bookstore Day! You can’t know how important that customer support is to sustaining our businesses, esp in this moment.
This weekend we’re trying to buy our first home. I’m excited and discouraged — the whole bit. Any advice from those that have done it? Sometimes it feels so impossible.
The right home will come. You may put in offers and lose out, and that feels disappointing. But that just means it wasn’t “your” house. Don’t rush to buy one you like just because you think you won’t find anything else. Hold out for one you LOVE! Good luck :)
Little zines are super fun to make and send in the mail! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9tqpzRLVMo
I just want to randomly announce that last night, I finally completed 368 Chickens. It only took me 612 tries haha! And honestly, I just started doing it to clear my mind and was totally caught off guard when the congratulations note popped up. I jumped up and my husband and I both cheered. So goofy
Congrats!!!! I have been obsessed with this game, it took me FOREVER but I also finished it in a sort of anticlimactic way LOL
My daughter is five and in every card or note she makes she draws a big circle and has me “write draw yourself in the circle”. It’s lovely!
My teenage daughter has two pen pals and they write each other the most beautiful creative and heartfelt letters. I love that they send little things like a postcard from a visit to a gallery or stickers picked up or something from their country that might be unique. The hand write long letters and send quizzes for the other to send back as well as naughts and crosses! The envelopes are decorated with pictures and more stickers. So careful and thoughtful. She loves the anticipation of waiting for a reply and then spending days on her response. It’s the most wonderful thing to find the letter in the mailbox. Once it was wrapped up as there had been floods in Poland so her pen pal had worried about it being damaged – my daughter loved thinking about the journey the letter had made to Australia. Oh the joys of anticipation and creativity and connection.
Loved reading this. I’m 56 and still keep in touch with my pen pal in Italy from when we were about 14.
I love this so much, Ceridwen. Letter writing and postcards are just delightful, especially piquing interest in teens amid a digital age.
OMG Rita that is amazing — have you ever met in real life?? I am thinking of the movie Beaches and the lifelong friendship that started with letters…
Joanna, do you and Lucy have any interesting twin stories?? My identical twin and I had our own language growing up and joke it’s our first language and English is our second, and have a lot of other weird twin-chronicities and stories, switched places for class a few times, etc. it’s just the best lol being a twin
I’m SO THRILLED to see you feature Bree Groff’s post about 20 rules for better days at work! I’ve been fangirling over her and her Substack for the past year and as luck would have it, I got to hang out with her in-person last week. She is the raddest human and she has a book coming out this summer about how to make work a more joyful part of our lives. It’s called Today Was Fun and gahhh, I’m loving this crossover! Would love to see Bree featured here someday!
Same here. Just sent links to my work mates for aspirations! Love it!
One thing I am doing is honoring Independent Bookstore Day tomorrow, 4/26. Not sure which book I will buy, but at least one, and a maybe a couple journal notebooks. I am hoping other book lovers will be in for this mission. I heard Amazon is trying to undercut it with their own book promotion. https://www.bookweb.org/independent-bookstore-day
Thanks for the reminder about the independent book store day. I will definitely pick up a book!
Thank you for the heads up about this, Claire! While you’re supporting independent bookstores, don’t forget, readers, you can also purchase books directly from the publisher. You don’t have to go through Amazon (or whoever). And a lot of times publishers run special sales (look around Thanksgiving and other holidays) or email you great coupons after you make a purchase. In case anyone out there is looking for options outside of Amazon and doesn’t live in a town with independent bookstores . . .
Thanks for the heads up! Have been waiting to buy the new Emily Henry. Xoxo
We are doing the San Diego Book Crawl this weekend!! My teen daughter is so excited, and I am so excited to spend an afternoon with her and her friends.
Will do!! Great idea!
Thanks for bringing this up Claire! This is my bright spot today. I got slammed with work at the end of the week so will be working through much of the weekend – but not late this afternoon! This afternoon is all about going to my favorite indie! I’m planning to buy Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy, and hoping my favorite bookseller will be able to make me buy a book I haven’t heard of yet.
Heck yes Claire! I also celebrate Independent Bookstore Day. I went to both my local indies yesterday and ended up with…more books than I anticipated, lol.
Same! I love my local independent book store, the Book Jewel. About 36 hours before Independent Bookstore Day, a car drove into the Book Jewel in the middle of the night. They quickly cleaned up and patched the glass wall with plywood, and were able to open on Saturday. It was really encouraging to see the number of people who came out to support the bookstore on Independent Bookstore Day. The Book Jewel feels like such an important part of our community.
@Leighton- I am not in the area, but I saw the information about the Book Jewel crash pop up somewhere else, and was so sad to learn about it. I’m glad to know they are recovering, that the community rallied in support, and also I read that the shop’s cat was absolutely fine, which made me quite happy.
You know who are not having a lovely weekend: Mahmoud Khalil, Rümeysa Öztürk, and hundreds of others who have been illegally kidnapped and in many cases human trafficked to other countries by the Trump/GOP. Call your congresspeople. We are in a constitutional crisis.