Have a Beautiful Weekend.
What are you up to this weekend? We’re hosting a trivia night with neighborhood kids, and Toby is the emcee. Wish us luck! And thanks for your excitement over Babaà’s discount code. It’s become such a fun annual tradition. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…
I’ve been wearing these cute flats non-stop, and they’re SO comfy.
Jon Hamm’s new show looks like a wild ride.
Who wants some chickpea spinach pasta? (NYTimes gift link)
Overhearing couples on dates, haha. Once, when Freddie and I went out to dinner, the couple next to us was CLEARLY listening to us and trying to guess our relationship status. “I think the second date,” the guy said. He was correct!
This bumper sticker made me lol.
Chelsea doesn’t dress like a White Lotus guest. “Cheetah print on sunglasses and large gold embellishments on espadrilles aren’t for the faint of heart…but Chelsea sees them and thinks, ‘What fun!’”
Have you heard Amy Poehler’s new podcast? In the first episode, she and Tina Fey chat about menopause, TV, and being workaholics. (“B*tches get stuff done!“)
Charred cauliflower quesadillas.
9 habits that are making my 40s my favorite decade, and I’d love to hear yours. (Big Salad)
Plus, three reader comments…
Says Tanya on what has made you laugh lately?: “My four-year-old announced that the heels of his feet are called ‘foot chins’ and I lost it. I sure needed that.”
Says Susan on it’s sexy book season: “Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner altered my brain chemistry — I’d give anything to read it again for the first time.”
Says Kaff on what has made you laugh lately: “After seeing it here, I showed my daughters the Make Your Own Connections site. Now they absolutely roast me and their dad. Categories include ‘brands mom doesn’t “trust”‘ and ‘ice cream flavors dad says he doesn’t like but eats anyway.’ There’s nothing sweeter than being reminded that no one knows you better than your children.”
(Photo by Denni Van Huis/Stocksy.)
Note: If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission or have a sponsored relationship with the brand, at no cost to you. We recommend only products we genuinely like. Thank you so much.
Comments
157 commentsI am such a big Jon Hamm fan. Really glad he’s got a new spot after they killed him off on Landman!
I just love thinking about a bump in Wallace Stegner sales/library loans all linking back to this COJ post!
Crossing to Safety is a great book! Also great is The Collected Stories of Wallace Stegner. So many short stories in there that really made me pause and be like wow, how is he not better known? He was really ahead of his time. One of his short stories is called Goin’ to Town (which stands alone as a short story, but is also a chapter of his semi-autobiographical novel The Big Rock Candy Mountain) that literally made me gasp. Not in the sexy sense, but if you’re looking for something just beautifully written and full of the nuances of emotion and relationships…ugh, it’s so good!
LOL instead of “Jon Hamm’s new show looks like a wild ride.” I read “Jon Hamm’s new SHOE looks like a wild ride.” That’s something I would have wanted to see, haha!
No not at all! Our readers just genuinely love the sweaters :) x
The house tour is beautiful but it really should be illegal in this housing crisis to convert three units of relatively more affordable housing to an exorbitantly expensive single family home.
Agreed. I was thinking the same thing
Oh wow! I hadn’t noticed that. One of my small joys is that we moved into a 2-unit building and turned it into a 3-unit building. Our friends live in the other spaces. It was tempting for a minute to contemplate having all that space, but my partner and I know what it’s like to struggle to find a place to live, and density is actually so cool! That’s why people tend to love cities like NY and Paris…
So here for this comment! Fancy house tours in NYC only ever make me think “these people have too much money.”
So many people have recommended Crossing to Safety! It’s also on my list of lifetime best reads. I read it when I was in my 20s and it stayed with me in a way that few other books have. I’ve often wondered over the years how I would experience rereading it but I haven’t wanted to break the spell. Maybe I’ll do it in 2025. And has anyone read House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus? I would put it in the same category of profound reads. I think it would feel very timely in the way it explores race and an immigrant family’s experience in the US.
House of Sand and Fog was a beautiful and profound read. It’s been years, but I loved it. Applicable to our current climate
I hate that I am late to this thread! At our anniversary dinner couple years back my husband and I went to a Very fancy restaurant and seated across from us was a couple on a date so bad that when she went to the restroom I followed her and offered to smuggle her out the place. She teared up a bit and said her sister was already on her way but she appreciated the offer. She never came back from the bathroom. Hours later my husband and I were still there talking to the staff and laughing and someone mentioned them and her ducking out. The unfortunate consensus was that it was par for the course as the price and location attracted the type. Food was delicious, glad to go home, think about that girl at least once a month.
Requested Crossing from Safety from the library! Love COJ recs! You all are the best.
Hi CoJ friends! This is a bit of a random post but I recently came across a CoJ x Alex Mill reading sweater on ThredUp! I didn’t have the funds to buy it when it was released 5 years ago so I was so excited to get to try it.. sadly it didn’t end up working out for me :( but I wanted to offer it here before returning in case anyone else has been pining after it as well! It’s a size XS in the color grove and it’s in great condition. Feel free to send me an email for pics/info! Or if this kind of post isn’t allowed no worries at all! macncheese.12508@gmail.com ♥️
I hope someone snags this! It popped into my head recently and I was able to find one on eBay. It made me so happy. I love knowing there was COJ reader in Brooklyn sending it my way.
I messaged you!
I am sure this is all on the up and up but the “we haven’t met yet” parts of comments always raises red flags for me. I understand that he’s away but I would reserve investing much more into this relationship until I actually meet a flesh and blood person (or have mutual friends that can confirm) I hate that I am being paranoid about these things but I have a close relative who was duped by someone who was pretty perfect on the phone/text/zoom and alas was anything but. Again, not wanting to be a wet blanket here, truly!!
I picked up my 11 year old from a friend’s house Friday night; as soon as he got in the car, he said, “Mom. I have so much to tell you about what happened today.” We were only a 2 minute drive from home and I immediately thought of the Cup of Jo comment from the woman who used to talk to her mom while her mom was putting on makeup in the morning- and when she had a lot to say, the mom washed her face and started over. So, I started driving in the opposite direction; 20 minutes later, my kid said, “wait, where are we?” But then finished catching me up on the drama. ❤️
My 11 year old self wishes you were her mom. Well done.
This was an especially good assortment of links this week (or maybe I’m just especially bored in between grading essays!).
In seventh grade my bf and I wanted to try out for the school musical. When I asked her what we were supposed to sing at the audition she shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I heard anything goes.” True story.
speaking of spying on other people’s dates, when my husband and I were dating, we went camping and saw an older couple at the campsite next to us. We were so excited to see a couple that looked like they had been married for years and years and went over and it turned out they had just met online and were a newer romance than ours! They shared their salmon with us, but turned out to be a little weird. Anyway, we have been married for a while, so it worked out for us!
Hi! Reporting a bug that I’m hoping will be fixed… I gave birth two weeks ago, and thanks to postpartum preeclampsia, I was in the hospital for 10 days. Now that I’m back, I’m excited to catch up on Cup of Jo! However, every time I click on “Load previous articles,” the loading graphic appears but never actually progresses to load the earlier posts. I never had this issue before, and I know it’s not on my end because I’ve tried it on three different devices with the same result.
Congratulations on your baby! Have you tried the “Previous Article” arrow listed at the end of each post, but before the comments? That may help you go through all the past posts in order.
Same bug for me too! Also, I’m so freaking glad you survived and I’m SO sorry you had preeclampsia requiring an extended hospitalization. Pregnancy is incredibly taxing, ending with the most taxing events of all, and to cap that off with a life-threatening condition is just so much too much. Hoping and praying you get a ton of support physically, mentally, and emotionally in the months to come. You deserve it.
once my husband and i were out and happily evesdropping, and realized the people at the neighboring table were movie people (producers? directors?) who made porn. they talked openly and explicitly about the porn angle of their work, amidst workaday gripes and gossip. and then, suddenly they dropped their voices from normal volume to low whispers and were inaudible. after a bit, they returned to normal volume and continued on as they had been. on the subway home, my husband and i had such a good time speculating what it was these two *didn’t* say, given how delightfully open the rest of their conversation was.
Ahh, dating conversations. Reminds me of a Match.com date I once went on to put-put with a seemingly nice, normal guy. Mid-course, he asked me if I was into eating all organic fruits and vegetables and no foods that had been genetically altered. Guys, I was in my mid-late twenties working at the bottom of the pyramid at a newspaper. I sputtered out something about “seems like a good idea, but I don’t really” (code for: I buy the cheapest food I can find at this point in my life!). The date ended quickly after–the thing lasted less than a half hour; I spent more time trying to figure out what to wear for it! Then, my date, SPRINTED away from me in the parking lot. Not joking. He ran for his car. I wish I could say I brushed the dust of that place off my heels, but nope. Confused at his bolting, I ran after him, and tapped him on his shoulder when I caught up with him at his car to ask if he wanted to go get a slush (we’d talked about going to Sonic, drive-in, for a beverage, after, on one of the holes). Oh, COJ. His face when he turned around and saw me. His face. Beet red, I retreated. But! Those other people who overheard us must have been . . . entertained? I am very happily married now (NOT to him, of course!) but I still wonder . . . was it what I said? Or didn’t?!
How dare you with cauliflower quesadillas? I know we’re all pretending cauliflower is a food digestible by humans, but quesadillas?! That’s a bridge too far. 🤣
OMG! I have Crossing to Safety on my shelf and have been meaning to read it for ages. Bought it after loving Angle of Repose (when I brought it to the register, the bookseller sighed and got misty-eyed: “That’s one of my FAVORITES…”) I know what I’m doing this weekend!
Angle of Repose is in my top 5 books of all time!
Babaa is super ITCHY and uncomfortable for my sweet little sensitive skin, but I just discovered Naadam and they are soooo cozy! If anyone else can’t stand certain fabrics/textures!
Babaa’s cotton knits are wonderful and comfortable though.
Yes, I agree. I still have nightmares about the one sweater that I ordered from them. It was horrible. It felt like wearing a sweater made of barbed wire. Hopefully, my bad experience provided a good experience for the person who lucked out finding it and buying it from the Cherry Hill Goodwill. I was happy to pass it on to someone who was a lot less sensitive to scratchy wool than I am.
my babaa (that i purchased directly from babaa) literally had hay in it. hay!!!
The favorite comment I ever overheard at a restaurant: “…and if it wouldn’t have been for my horse I wouldn’t have gone to college!” That was the only snippet of conversation that was completely clear and makes us laugh to this day. I have SO. MANY. QUESTIONS!!!
Dressage scholarship, easy.
I just bought ‘Crossing to Safety’ because of that comment.
I just requested it from my local library!
I put it on my library holds list ! :)
I did too!!
Same ! And that’s funny cause I have been wanted to read Angle of repose for a long time from a very old blog rec.
I just reserved it at the library!
SAME!!! I have no clue if I’ll like it or even what it’s about, but honestly that comment is good enough for me.
Me too!
I just reserved it at the library because of that comment! I hope we both love it as much as Susan!
An older friend chose Crossing to Safety for our book club when I was in my 20s and I had never read anything like it. Now, sweeping family dramas are my favorite genre. All my favorite books have some aspect of a multigenerational family drama (Anna Karenina, the Gilead series, The Dutch House, East of Eden, Pride and Prejudice, Demon Copperhead, Hamlet), but Wallace Stegner has brought me so much joy in the last 18 years- something real to think about in new mother middle of the night nursing, or with toddlers, and an escape from the day to day in my established thirties. It’s time to revisit for a new decade!
Me too along with a pre order for the new biography, Yoko Ono by David Sheff. What a fascinating life!
i’m 27th in line for the audiobook at my library! the COJ effect 😎
On our honeymoon, my husband and I spent a few lovely days in Mürren, Switzerland in January. The village had emptied of skiers after New Years and we had it nearly to ourselves… and, as we named them, “Brad” and “Olivia (Liv/Livvy)” a British couple who we deduced after observing them for several days across the room at the hotel breakfast–once fighting–and dinners at the few open restaurants in town, were former colleagues-turned romantic partners who were attempting one last holiday. Liv, we decided, was upper crust, a PR director, and Bradley her former employee, desperate to renew the relationship. By our observation, he appeared to think all was well when he was actually failing. (Bradley, don’t leave the girl alone in the hotel restaurant down the street on a cold dark night. Wait for her; walk out with her! Date fail! When she’s apologizing mid-fight in the nearly-empty-except-for-those-middle-aged-Americans, hold her hand, anything!) In any case, when we left Mürren, we were disappointed not to run into them again in the next town we visited. We spent more time discussing their relationship (i.e. our imagination of their relationship) than our own! No one would have guessed the middle-aged couple in the corner avidly watching the young couple’s fight across the room were the newlyweds! (With apologies to “Livvy,” if she’s a COJ reader!)
I have visted Murren twice and can picture the whole story with that breathtaking valley serving as a backdrop. Hope you got to visit Trummelbach Falls.
Co-signing on Crossing to Safety. Definitely in my all time top 10 books.
When I lived in Asia, my friends and I would always talk about how much we missed eavesdropping on conversations. It’s a true glimmer whenever you hear a good one!
I love that comment about our kids knowing us so well. I’m coming back to life with warmer weather and sunshine, and my kids (9 and 11) recently deemed me “solar-powered.” I laughed so much. They’re right!
Haha same here. My kids will say “mom needs to recharge her sun batteries”
That’s so cute
I remember taking the subway on my second date with my now husband of 25 years, and an old man came over to us and said “you’re both sparkling! You’re glowing! You’re shining! What a great date!”. It was a great date and it’s been a great marriage.
I love this, Ann!
Oh my gosh Ann that’s so lovely!
I’ve been feeling guilty lately for even small moments of joy while I am watching US democracy be destroyed in real time. I know there is truth to the saying that “the best revenge is a life well lived” but as a queer women, I really question how many more moments of joy I will get. It is hard to read even the joyful articles or shopping recommendations on this blog (which I’ve enjoyed for many , many years) without the small voice in my head constantly asking how people are continuing to live life so normally these days. Is it just me?
I feel you! It’s horrific out there, but it’s also so important not to feel burnt out on the state of the world. This will be a long fight, and it takes longer to build than to break. And the fascists want you to feel scared and miserable all the time, so any joy, especially queer join, is an act of rebellion in these times.
No Jill, you are not alone! We are with you through this terrible darkness.
Jill, it’s NOT just you! This weekend I’m attending all my kids’ many sporting events and finding joy in ALL of the community there, while I figure out how to schedule in showing up at protests and resisting more every chance I get. I WILL do both. I will find the time and energy to resist and I do feel it’s SO ODD when people seem unbothered. However, lots of people are doing lots of things and not always talking about it or letting on that they are. I refuse to let the monsters running our country right now take my joy away. They have already taken enough, I will give them nothing more.
No, lovey. You are not alone.
I am SO excited about what Bernie is doing ! His Fight Oligarchy tour across the country! Record turnouts! 35,000 in Denver last night. I watched that rally and I got chills. I’ve supported Bernie since 2014 and to see him in the limelight being the strongest force against Trump Musk , I don’t even have the words for how moving it is to me and to so many others apparently ! AOC is on tour with him presently. He has always been her mentor. It’s the first hope I’ve had that people will fight back. The crowds ! So, I will be thinking of you and everyone in the world affected by the current state of our country and hope for change !!! I’m not naive but here’s hoping people will see the light !
I am disengaging and just thinking the president ans the vice president, awful as they are, are not going to steal my joy for the next 4 years. And karma never loses an address. This will not end well.
Not just you, Jill (fellow queer woman here). It feels like yet another turning point—COVID being the first I could think of. But if we as a society have gone back to “normal” after COVID and BLM protests, I think there’s really no hope anything will ever fundamentally change. That was the time to make a huge shift, and this is a time to make a huge shift. Instead influencers will keep influencing, brands will continue advertising, everyone will keep doing what they’re doing (I know someone will defensively think “not everyone!” but we all know it might as well be). LGBTQ+ people are absolutely screwed. But the world will just… keep spinning. Like it’s spun during all the fascist regimes of past and present. It’s awful.
Jill, sending you so much love… you’re not alone, I feel the same as you…
It’s not just you.
Jill, it’s most definitely not just you xo
It’s not just you, Jill. This is a very hard time for many of us. I feel like I must now learn to live with a chronic illness called heartsickness. Have you heard the expression that we as humans live in a Tragic Gap between the beautiful and the terrible? Between what we know to be possible and what actually is? It is a difficult place and always will be. Even small things that make life a little better for others or yourself count for a lot in such a place. When I hug my precious daughter, who happens to be transgender, I know that I have to keep hoping and working for a better world for her. Sending you a hug.
It’s not just you. I’m trying to do at least one action every day and that is helping a little.
my brain feels split in halves or quarters a lot lately, with one part on what I’m doing and the other part knowing so much is going in a horrible direction. i focus on the pebbles I see—the small acts that people are doing to continue to bring good into the world and to lay down a path for others to come behind them and beside them. what is happening now is the product of small acts that finally made room for bigger ones—and that’s the same way to fight it. small acts to make room for bigger ones. i acknowledge the horrors and lay my pebbles on the path. showing my community i love it. dan savage was talking about activism during the height of the AIDS crisis in the US—in the morning we buried our dead, in the afternoon we marched and were activists, and at night we danced. I hold that to me as well.
It is not just you. Alzjough I am noch American and I live on the other side of the globe, I am wondering why the 50% who didn‘t vote for the dangerous antidemocratic joke figure are not on the street demonstrating constantly. Your country is being turned upside down and half the world with it. It is a scandal, it is scary and just unbelievable. Thinking of you and just wishing for the best!
I get this. But fascism feeds on fear and anger and despair. Don feed your soul into that machine. Hold onto joy, there is strength and power in it.
No. Not just you. Sending lots of love and standing with you. I do think joy is resistance though wherever we can find it. For me right now I do find joy I fighting back as hard as I can. Which might not look like traditional joy, but it’s definitely energizing to see all the others fighting with me even in my little conservative town.
You’re not alone, Jill. This blog helps me remember that there are people who recognize how wrong our politics are right now. It gives me peace this community is trying to make things better– in both the small moments of joy and on the world spectrum.
Just want to say that I feel your pain and you are not alone. The moments of joy are life giving, but it is also so confusing and disorienting to find them in this context.
It is not just you <3 I have silly cute kids and a partner I love and I am sad and cranky and feel guilty when I start to feel light even though I want lightness for all of us.
You’re not alone! The only thing keeping me going right now is my kids. We do discuss the state of the world and want them to understand and care, but we also want their one and only childhood to be beautiful and joyful. It’s hard right now to get into that state of mind, though,
Jill, it is not just you! ❤️ I feel so frustrated that many of my very liberal friends and family members are not protesting, or interested in taking any sort of action against this administration, however small. I think its partially apathy and partially that they don’t feel like anything they do will make a difference.
Jill, these times are so grim. I am working long days and weekends in response to the madness. I come here for some escape and respite. I am probably not shopping, but I enjoy fantasizing about taking the time to make a delicious meal, or escaping to one of the interesting places that other readers love. It does not mean I don’t care, and I am working very hard to try and changes what is within my power. Everyone copes differently.
I’m not sure my reply to Jill got censored. All I wrote was sending love to Jill and that she’s not alone, I feel the same way.
Second this 100%! Have been contemplating unsubscribing from some fashion substacks because I feel so alienated by the absence of acknowledgement of what is going on. I really just can’t get excited about sales or spring uniforms in this context.
I’m in the same place Jill.
I hear you- I bounce between being ok- and happy- to not ok. We owe it to ourselves to enjoy and be grateful for what we have but I too am struggling with how to feel about life in general. My own little life is pretty darn good but the people who are acutely affected by this crazy time- it’s hard. It helps when I remember that there are literally tens of millions Americans with us in this- and we are not going to just take it lying down.
Jill, you’re not alone. I also find it very hard to experience small moments of joy. I was wondering if I was the only one who felt that way. Around me, it seems that everybody is burying their head in the sand. Let’s stand together and RESIST. Stay strong!
Jill, it’s not just you at all. It’s a real mindf*ck to try and live life normally (raise my kids, work my not-yet-impacted job, exercise) while so much destruction and harm is happening every single day. And – I have to keep working, because my husband’s clinical research job is likely gone soon (already having furloughs, salary cuts – HIV prevention, who cares?!). It’s a hard “balance” (ha) between doing what we still have to do, and fighting/advocating/protesting whenever and wherever we can. That’s the only answer I have. I don’t think there are any good answers right now. I’m so sorry for everything you’re facing and I fervently hope there is a strong community nearby supporting you.
Feeling guilt or suppression around joy does nothing for other people and only renders us less capable of helping our neighbor and being present for loved ones. I often remember Viktor Frankl’s words that other humans can take absolutely everything from us–except for our agency to respond and still experience joy. I think that’s how a lot of us are “living life normally” :)
It’s not just you, Jill. The voice lives in my head, too, but there is a stronger voice reminding me of a few truths that I try to use to combat the dread: 1. They want us tired, overwhelmed, and fearful. We can summon our energy to fight back, but that doesn’t just mean in direct protest or activism. It also means by finding community, living with joy and purpose, and rejuvenating ourselves, even with “trivial” pleasures like blogs or tv. All the old adages about not being able to pour from an empty cup apply here. 2. It is a marathon, not a sprint. Marathoners take breaks for water and snacks, they sometimes walk or even rest along the route, and we can too. 3. I’ve tried to set my “outrage/activism clock” like an alarm. I allow myself 30 minutes of news in the morning, after my kids leave the house. On my lunch break, I read Chop Wood, Carry Water, I make my phone calls, write letters, and look into volunteer opportunities in the afternoon. Then I write postcards at night to wind down, but I don’t look back at the news. In this way, I can find pockets in my day for living like in the “before times”, by focusing on myself, my family, and my friends. But I still know that every day I have done something to live in concordance with my morality. And I get the set the terms for my engagement with the awfulness, rather than being deluged at every turn. As someone with a federal worker spouse, I’ve realized how important it is to take this one hour, one day at a time. We can’t all be everything all of the time. I have to be myself, a mom, a friend, a teacher, a daughter, etc etc throughout all of this and that means also celebrating those parts of my life. I hope this helps!
I feel this 100 percent. Thank you for expressing it so eloquently.
Canadian here. It’s not just you. Lots of us and watching closely and doing what we can (I’m headed to a protest tonight), wondering when enough people are going to stand up.
It’s not just you. I’ve been feeling the same way. I try to remind myself that small joys build me back up again which helps me keep fighting against all the current injustices. When the happy articles or shopping recommendations feel too much for me I pull back. When I need a reminder that there are still happy moments in the world I lean in. Sending you a big virtual hug.
Jill, as another queer person, I understand where you’re coming from…but I also refuse to hold myself back from joy and living normally. Half the country is against me, I don’t need to join in. If I could single-handedly fix it, I would but I can’t, so I get to have a perfectly normal, maybe even slightly boring day, too.
I just wanted to say how grateful I am to everyone who replied! It is so uplifting to hear from so many others who are choosing to find joy even in the difficult moments while still having the energy to fight for what is right. I’ve been trying to take those steps too day by day, and when things get dark I’ll remind myself of all your wonderful responses from around the globe. We are all in this together!
Yes, feeling the same AND there is still a lot to do that could help! There are 3 elections coming up right away, with good people running who could REALLY use our help. Districts 1 and 6 in Florida have wonderfully qualified candidates, and a judge in Wisconsin, all 3 of them deserve publicity, help, support, and money. Am I allowed to say more? Josh Weil, in Florida, Gay Valmont, in Florida, and Judge Susan Crawford in Wisconsin. It is not too late to make a difference with any of them. ALSO, the current regime is counting on people feeling helpless, beaten down, numbing out, and retreating. Joy, and fierce embrace of the “glimmers” is definitely part of an effective, lively and ongoing resistance. Please don’t give up on joy and beauty, lovely People!!!
On this exact topic: Michelle Obama’s new podcast called IMO, with her brother Craig Robinson, the episode titled Combatting Hopelessness, with Dr. Laurie Santos (The Happiness Lab). It’s really encouraging and uplifting and empowering.
Crossing to Safety!💕💕✨
I’m a waitress so I see a lot of dates and I find early dates almost unbearably uncomfortable to witness. The awkwardness, the hope, the lack of chemistry, when it’s obvious that one person is feeling it and the other person isn’t! Please, I do not want to wait on you until you know all of each other’s siblings names, I cannot handle it!!!
I’m late to “what made you laugh”, but the other day my 8 year old came downstairs irritated about something and yelled, “hashtag, at sign, dollar sign, exclamation point!” I laughed so hard!
Well done. My 11 year old was reading an address to me out loud to enter into google maps and he said: “6910 SW Ridge Drive Sharp 215” Apartment #215 and I was so proud. 🎶
Hahaha🤣
That is just too cute!
Clicked on the green bedroom link and was so happy to see that its owner is my old officemate, Ben. Nice to have a window into this sweet chapter in his life! Thanks for sharing and have a great weekend everyone.
I love that house tour. What a beautifully calm, art filled, loving space. And also, how is any house with a baby in it that tidy, even with cleaning up for a photographer!
As a former photographer who was let into the houses of newborns, let me tell you! Pile of crap is positioned out of the photo. Then for next photo again move pile of crap. Repeat click repeat! Or they may actually be neat lol, but for most newborn families I reassure them, all I’m looking for is good lighting, a window and we are set. Once it was in the master bathroom a tiny bench by a window caught beautiful snuggles! A beautiful nursery is great but light is #1. Also the rule “everything has a place ” is notoriously hard to implement when you are bringing back a newborn, and trying to heal yourself!
I was once on a date where the guy was reading me the battle speech in Henry V (big literature nerds) and a man we’d never met came up to us and told us he’d never seen energy like it and we should be married. I am married now – not to that particular guy, but happily – but Henry V will always be my one that got away.
I wonder if you were on a date with my future husband because that is totally something he would do! 😂
St. Crispin’s Day! What a date haha
Tonight I was at work and I thought Catherine Newman was at one of my tables. I was star struck!! A member of the COJU (cup of jo universe)!! Later on I realized it wasn’t her….but still! Exciting.
I’m going on first/second date this Saturday! I’m a Pilates instructor and there’s a cutie who’s been taking my class since last year. We’ve been crushing on each other since the beginning. Luck of the Irish he asked me out for a st paddy’s day beer after class. We had a really sweet time. We have a dinner date this Saturday! I’m over the moon excited!! I’m a single mom and I’ve been single for a few years now. This is the first person who’s caught my eye. I live in LA and it’s a tough out here in the dating pool!
How did it go Megan??
I hope your date was lovely!! From, a fellow single mom
I’m going on a first kinda seeing date this weekend! I’m a Pilates instructor and there’s a cutie that’s been coming to my class since last year and we’ve been crushing on each other from the beginning. Luck of the Irish he asked me out for a st paddy’s day beer after class on Monday.. we’re going on a dinner date Saturday eve. I’m over the moon excited! I’m a single mom and I’ve been single for a few years now. This is the first person who’s caught my eye. I live in LA and it’s a tough out here in the dating pool!
After laughing so hard, I have been widely circulating the story about the pizza guy who farted from Tuesdays comments. Interesting who he found that as funny as I did and who thinks I am just weird.
Josette – I sent this link to approximately one million people. Farts will never not be funny!
Please speak up for libraries!! They are threatened to be defunded. COJ community, this is our moment, we are needed!! Quick letter to your reps here: https://app.oneclickpolitics.com/campaign-page?cid=9CyapZUB9sorxFLO4J0c&lang=en
What is this dystopian hell hole we’re in?!?!
Crossing to Safety is incredible. READ IT
AGREED!!!
I never comment, but the link about listening to other people’s dates hit too close to not share my story. Was on a date that was going very well, and we were chatting about something deeply nerdy. He’s an engineer, I’m a scientist, we were both into it. I teased him that anyone eavesdropping would be very disappointed at our topic. He paused, put his hand on my knee, and said with the coolest confidence, “oh, everyone in this bar is jealous of us.” Gah! Left me speechless. His quick switch from nerd to charmingly self-assured was disarmingly attractive.
Ok and where’s part 2??!?!? I want to know more! Was this the high point? Did everything go swimmingly for a while? Was there a sudden deal breaker on the third date? A big “i can’t believe you’re on that side of X science topic” deal breaker? Suddenly I’m curious. Welcome to posting too. You are under no obligation to reply 😀
self-assured AND a nerd? swoon! :)
Cliffhanger! Did you go on another date??
I was on a date with my husband a couple years ago at a very small cocktail bar. The couple next to us was in their 60s or 70s. Toward the end of our evening, they leaned over and said something along the lines of “we’ve been trying to decide, is this your 4th date?” At that time we were 7 years married, 13 years together, and I was (and still am) proud of our relationship – which is not sparkles and rainbows but it is real and full of love and attention.
Something similar happened a few years ago, and it really made me laugh. My husband and I went out for ice cream. The next day at work, a new-ish colleague who didn’t know my husband super well, said he’d spotted us at the ice cream parlor, but hadn’t said hello because he “didn’t want to interrupt the date you were on.” He was very surprised when my husband explained that the date was an outing with his wife of 13 years. It was sweet to hear an outside perspective that confirmed the way it feels inside my marriage. :)
When my husband and I started dating, we would try to guess if a couple was on a Bumble or Tinder date. We met through Tinder and had been on both platforms so it was fun to see the kinds of people we thought we would have seen on either app.
Here’s my dorky self-care plan to get me to summer: a coupon book for myself! So far I’m going to put stuff in there like -order Indian food for lunch -take a bath -take a phone-free walk during the work day -do a fun craft -do a paper crossword -do a paper sudoku -drop everything and read -go to be at 8pm without my phone -buy flowers I’m going to actually make a paper book and write all this stuff down and have reminders to cash in a coupon!
What a fantastic idea! I might do this with my family!
I love that and exactly the inspiration I needed: will make my own and yes it has to be an actual paper book or paper strips clipped together.. Might even extend it to my two teens as a spring family ritual for nurture as we are navigating the end of my marriage and this difficult phase..
That’s a great idea. When I’m in most need of self care I can never remember what to do to take that first step out.
Nina, wishing you strength and a big hug!
You alway have the perfect photos to take us into the weekend. ☺️🎞️🌼
Kaff, your comment really made me wish I could spend an evening eating trusted ice cream brands with your family!! (And reminded me of the time my son filled out a form about his family’s values and traditions. Under “special meals or foods,” he wrote: We eat a lot of salad.)
And Kristen, your comment reminds me of zoom Kindergarten when each kid had to finish the sentence “I like to ____ with my mom.” My daughter said “eat a cheese plate.”
This really made me laugh. We eat a lot of salad 😂
Hahah. When my daughter was in kindergarten, they did one of those fill in the blanks for moms for Mother’s Day. Under “my mom never” she wrote “litters.” I felt so proud! Haha!
A huge perk of living in NYC is all the dates you can overhear. One night, my husband and I were having dinner at a trendy place in the west village (overrated, do not recommend!) and there was a couple next to us clearly on a first date. The guy gave this astonishingly long monologue about all of his past misdeeds, and at first I was like, ok, just get it all out there. But it kept going and going and then he was talking about the time he got kicked out of Applebees and the woman was just sitting there nodding. My husband and I were silently eating so that we didn’t miss anything lol. We must have looked like a couple with nothing left to say to each other, but we had SO MUCH to say on the train home.
😂😂😂 I love this
This! The number of meals my husband and I have eaten silently while we eavesdrop on a juicy conversation is…not zero 😂
Tanya’s comment reminds me of when my daughter referred to ankles as, “those round parts that connect your feet to your self.”
My 2yo is very angry that she has “these knobs” on the sides of her feet – or ankles, as they are. I tried to show her that I have them too, so now she’s angry on behalf of both of us.
My son also got very upset about ankles at one point!
I love my 40s so much. I had two home-births in my 30s, I left my bad marriage at 37 like Delacroix’s: liberty leading the people and I have had two great long term relationships that have been for the first time, on my terms. I love being in a relationship- but I don’t need it. Oh and I own my house and I have two amazing daughters full time and I’m not even 45. As my 8 year old told me last night: ‘slay queen.’
I am almost 70 and I loved my 40s – single parent with two daughters and my little home to fix up. Just an FYI – the 50s were great as well. The 60’s haven’t been bad, I’d pick 60 over 20 any day of the week!
I think the “foot chins” comment is officially my favorite, bar none, number one, funniest comment I’ve ever read on Cup of Jo!! Thanks for the laughs 😂
Ladies I need your advice ! I’ve been chatting with this guy for weeks now , we haven’t met because he’s away for work but he’s very shy and nerdy, the awkward nerd , the kind I like . I make him laugh a lot and I noticed that he has a sense of humour that he’s starting to show. Plus he’s sharing lots of personal details about himself. I know he’s got potential and I need this to go somewhere otherwise this is going to hurt af. What can I do to make him open up a little bit more without shutting down . Any tips ? Shared experience? Anything really !
Speaking as someone who is a shy, awkward nerd: -Open up to him about how much you like him. It doesn’t need to be a grand proclamation. Even a small comment will do. But something to show him that he can feel safe being his weird awkward self with you. -Give it time. I think it’s so cool that you are seeing this potential in someone like him. As a shy person, it usually just means I need a little more time than other people before I can feel comfortable being myself around people. So keep the dialogue open and once you can meet in person, keep going on consistent dates, even if it doesn’t seem to be moving very fast. Good luck! xo
Let him go at his own pace – I don’t think you can make him open up more, it will happen organically if it will happen! And, you can also consider being direct and letting him know that you like him! Best of luck!
Do a side by side activity—something with less eye contact. Can be simple like a walk or hike.
Chatting but have not yet met up in person? If so, you need to hold off on feelings and expectations til you have had several in-person dates! If I inferred wrong and you have met in person, it takes time. Men, in general, shut down when they perceive pressure to talk, divulge, etc. lead ny example maybe? Share something you feel comfortable tha makes you a bit vulnerable. Just enjoy this beginning phase, keep laughing!
Do not worry about him shutting it down. Be yourself, and honestly, what the heck is up with him “dating” if he isn’t actually available to date in person. I would be wary, personally.
your comment makes it sound like he already is opening up, so i’m curious what you mean? maybe things are going well, and you can give yourself permission to enjoy it : ) or maybe there’s something more specific that wasn’t included in your original comment?
If you really like him and want it to last, just give it time. Being in-person will help too!
If you haven’t met in person, give it a light touch til you do! I don’t think you need to say you like him; your chatting frequency and attention already says it. Good luck!
I might be the lone suspicious person but – are you talking talking? or just texting? I wouldn’t invest much into this if you haven’t talked or met yet. Maybe suggest meeting up for an activity in a neutral place – museum, game night at a game store or bar, or maybe a craft night? If he doesn’t want to meet up and you haven’t talked, I’d be super wary. good luck!
This sounds fishy to me. Proceed with caution. People get tricked all the time… be weary and be on the look-out for concrete proof that he is who he says he is.
Oh- and whatever you do, don’t give him money or access to personal information.