Abbey Nova’s Connecticut Home Is Full of Plants, Surprises, and a Cute Dog
Photos by Lyndsay Hannah and styling by Wanda Furman.
Last time our friend Abbey Nova invited us into her home, she was living in an Upper West Side apartment with her husband Tim and toddler son, Alex. Now, 13 years later, Abbey, Tim, six-foot-tall Alex, and her youngest son, Ben, live in the northwest corner of Connecticut, in a home with reading nooks, colorful artwork, and so many plants. Here’s a look inside…
LIVING ROOM
Sofas: Lee Industries. Coffee table: Custom. Lamps: Hackeny Floor Lamp. Side table: similar. Rug: Loloi.
On taking time: I’m a slow decorator and will keep moving a piece of furniture around, and even change the purpose of a room, until it feels right. When we lived in New York, I could get our apartments looking the way I wanted right away. But this house is teaching me that some rooms take time. If a room feels off, I believe that over time, I’ll find the right layout, piece of art, or whatever that thing is.
Amaryllis: Van Engelen Inc.
On brightening winter: I grew up in an isolated part of Vermont where winters were dark and cold and it was easy to get snowed in. But my mom did a really lovely job of surrounding herself with beauty, especially during that dreary season. She grew amaryllis bulbs January through March. Today they’re a winter survival tool for me, too.
Painting: Michael Abrams. Dollhouse: Etsy.
On meaningful art: This Michael Abrams painting might be my favorite piece in our home. His work speaks to both Tim’s love of nature and our shared connection to this region. When we were newly married, I surprised Tim with a visit to the gallery and he chose this painting. I still remember the look of joy on his face as he made his choice, and how grown up I felt in that moment.
On an evolving paint combo: For this room, we used Farrow & Ball Elephant’s Breath, a warm gray color that looks different every time I walk through the room — in the evening it’s almost lilac colored. We painted the ceilings White Dove by Benjamin Moore.
Penant: Shades of Light. Table: Design Within Reach. Chairs: Design Within Reach.
On summer traditions: In the summer, our family eats dinner at this table because we can leave the side door open, which catches the breeze. One of our go-to meals is grilled kebabs and a simple arugula salad with shaved Parmesan.
Table: “From my childhood home.” Print: Commissioned from Michael McKay.
On growing plants: I’ve had some plants for 10 years. But others, no matter what I do, don’t stay alive. I used to feel like such a failure when a plant would die. Over time, though, I’ve decided that I just won’t buy that kind of plant again! I also like the app PictureThis. It identifies your plants and how to care for them, all from just uploading a photo.
KITCHEN/DINING ROOM
On meals that work for everyone: For weeknight dinners we make a lot of rice bowls with teriyaki salmon bites and edamame. We also love peanut noodles and broccoli with crispy baked tofu. Any type of bowl situation is great because everyone can fix their meal just the way they want it.
Table: Facebook Marketplace. Chairs: Design Within Reach via Charish.
On a dog named Argus: My oldest son Alex has dyslexia, so for reading he dove into audio books and graphic novels and fell in love with The Odyssey series. In the Odyssey, Odysseus’s dog, who recognizes him after 20 years when no one else recognizes him, is named Argus. So, when we got our beloved pup, we had to name him Argus. It feels like a heavy name for a dog, but it’s also very sweet.
Dresser: Craigslist. Food = Love print: Katherine Miles Jones. Woman’s portrait: “My great grandmother Dorothy West.”
On making a balanced gallery wall: First I outlined the shape and dimensions of the wall on the floor with painter’s tape. Then, I pulled out all the art we had and grouped it inside the tape parameters. I spent two weeks rearranging pieces and texting photos of each iteration to Tim, who was traveling for work; he has a good eye and gave smart suggestions. It was helpful for us both to see photos of the arrangements and to be able to compare.
On where to scout art: I’m always trying to resist the siren call of art. I love spending evenings looking through online auctions and eBay. Two eBay sellers I follow are Boris Wilnitsky Fine Arts and ArtGate-European Oil Paintings. Any time I find an artist I like, I’ll set up a saved search on eBay or liveauctioneers.com and keep an eye out for pieces in my price range.
On raising children with a nine-year age gap: Our boys both have beautiful, silly, creative sides, and the way they connect is lovely. We didn’t plan on waiting so long; I just had a lot of miscarriages. But then during my pregnancy with Ben, I worried about the nine years difference. I talked to anyone I could find who had a similar age gap with a sibling. And universally, everyone said, ‘Don’t worry, they’re the sibling I’m closest to.’ Of course, both my boys can push each other’s buttons. But they have a really nice bond because they’re not competitive with each other. I feel so lucky to be their mom.
PARENTS’ BEDROOM
Quilt: Schoolhouse. Velvet pillows: Collyer’s Mansion. Rug: Bed Bath & Beyond. Side table: Room & Board. Lamps: Zara Home.
On following your gut: The previous owners used this as a sunroom (complete with a hot tub!) but we made the unconventional choice of turning it into our primary bedroom, and it is such a gift. In the morning, the light streams in through windows that look out over the garden. Waking up here feels so natural and peaceful.
On firm mattresses: I like my mattresses HARD. In college, when I was suffering through a too-soft dorm mattress, my father drove up with a piece of plywood to create the firm surface I needed. So, I guess the key to a comfy bed is knowing what works for you.
Chairs: vintage. Pillow: The Six Bells.
On funny pillows: My grandmother lived in a very elegant and buttoned-up house in Cambridge, Massachusetts. In her kitchen, she had a poster of a fancy lady in a fur coat pushing a loaded shopping cart with the text ‘When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.’ It was such a perfect glimpse of her sense of humor amid all that New England propriety. I searched for a copy of that poster for years with no luck. So, when I spotted this pillow, I literally screamed with joy.
BATHROOM
Block print: “Ben made this in a printmaking class with the artist Meg Musgrove!” Planter: vintage.
On repurposing planters: Any forced bulbs such as paperwhites, hyacinths, and amaryllis would work beautifully in an antique bowl — you just need to add pebbles at the bottom and keep an eye on the water level. These blooming hyacinths come from my friend and neighbor, Pom, who runs English Garden Grown and offers seasonal flowers to local subscribers.
BEN’S ROOM
Quilt: made by Abbey. Pillow: Anthropologie. Side table: “From my childhood home.” Lamp: Target. Rainbow: “a gift from my sister.”
On kids’ books: Ben just turned seven and he is ready to not be a baby. He loves audiobooks, especially this series, and we listen to about five audiobooks a week. For his birthday he asked for a speaker. I thought it was the sweetest request.
Horse: thrifted.
On children’s books: I love In The Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak, and we’ve hung this print all over the house. When we moved Ben’s room downstairs, he said, ‘That’s my favorite book. Can I have that in my room?’ We had read that book a lot when he was younger, but before that moment I had never known it was his favorite book. It reminded me that you never know what moments your kids are going to remember.
ALEX’S ROOM
Duvet: Heather Taylor Home, similar. Lamp: Target, similar.
On a surprising thing about teens: I’m always amazed by how Alex knows so much about everything. He sprained his ankle this summer, and when we were talking about his foot, he was using the same terminology as my physical therapist. I realized that he learned it from watching physical therapy videos. And it’s like that with so many things. He’s a great cook and photographer, too.
Chairs: Ikea.
On leaning into letting go: I feel like teens can be so villainized. But they’re supposed to push our buttons. Their job is to pull away from us. And that can be painful, of course, but it feels like such a privilege to witness them develop into who they’re becoming.
GARDEN
On gardening in the winter: I like to read about gardens in the winter. During the summer I’m always outside planting and clearing and moving things around. But the winter is when I settle down with a beautiful English garden book. That’s when all of the planning happens. [Ed. note: Here’s Abbey’s garden in the summer! So gorgeous.]
Thank you so much, Abbey. We love you.
P.S. More home tours, including a teeny tiny Swedish apartment and a reader’s introvert nook.
(Photos by Lyndsay Hannah and styling by Wanda Furman, for Cup of Jo.)
Tags: house tours
Comments
133 commentsAh, it’s so helpful to see the kitchen! We also have a dark green countertop, and with the dark cabinetry the whole thing is… well, dark! We’ve been debating painting it white eventually (so expensive) and I’m saving this image!
Ah! My husband and I just moved into our first house where we’ve just been in apartments before. I, too, have found that I got the apartments how I wanted them pretty darn quick, but a house is a bigger space, and it just can’t be done overnight.
Abbey, you are lovely and so is your home — both of them that I’ve looked at here! thank you for your candidness and welcoming friendly truthful nature. And the before pictures of your garden (in another thread). SO inspiring! You’ve worked so hard. thank you for the one leg tip! while I only have a deck garden right now, I help my mom with hers in the suburbs. This will be so useful. And for your gardening books! And views of your kids’ rooms. So many thanks! And lastly, my dad was the 14th of 15 kids and ADORED being the little brother to all those siblings. I saw from the get go that close relationships are ageless. There are four kids in my family and I’m the third. My older sis is 6 years older than me, then my brother is a year older, then my little sis is 8 years younger than me. So she’s 14 years younger than our older sister. I love them ALL so much and we are the happiest bunch of rag tagglers around. I feel most at home with my siblings. I really think it’s how your parents raise you to appreciate each other. And sounds like that’s what you’re doing.
Hi, I think you have excellent taste in lamps and they’re a large piece of why your rooms feel so elegant. Where do you source them and any insight into your thought process for picking them, purchasing them, placing them, etc. would be appreciated! I also love your mixed patterns and colors in your bedding.
ABC, your comment made my evening! I am, as you noted, lamp (and light) obsessed – I’m ALWAYS on the lookout for interesting shapes and colors of lamps and I’m always wanting MORE LIGHT in the evenings – so my appetite is basically endless. I particularly like vintage lamps – I will pop into any goodwill I drive by JUST to check for lamps. I’ve scored some $6.99 beauties that way. I will write a newsletter just on lamps and drop a line here so you know! xoxoxo Abbey
Abbey, thank you for writing back! Yes, please, include the link to your newsletter on lamps — I will enjoy it very much. You have also inspired me to go to thrift stores as you just never know. Any tips on having success there would be so appreciated too!
A breath of fresh air in every way. Thank you!
Abbey, we have such similar taste! White sofa, brick fireplace, white cabinetry, delft lamps, natural wood table surrounded by black chairs, skirted tables — plus a small (almost) white dog. My living room is my favorite reading spot……it’s nice to see a kindred spirit enjoying hers.
Love this home, and all the bulbs! Does anyone know what paint colour is in Ben’s bedroom? It’s such a lovely, warm, not-boring-neutral.
Hi NWKS! It’s “Mouse’s Back” by Farrow and Ball. Ben loves it!
Agreed, would love to know this paint color! It was a lovely tour, thank you!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful home! Can you share who made your custom coffee table in your living room? I love it!
Hi Meghan, we bought it locally years ago and the company is no longer doing these- so so so sorry since coffee tables are SO HARD to figure out.
Thank you, Abbey! And thanks for the validation– coffee tables are SO HARD!
Love this home tour so much! Reminds me of favorite houses of mine – where you can tell the people who live there are warm and full of love and value coziness. But also quietly elegant! My brother (9 years younger) is visiting me tomorrow and I loved what your wrote about your boys. The age gap was great for us – no competition! We’re super close and we talk all the time. It’s been almost like a gentle mentoring relationship. I get to be so proud of him.
I love your home! Also, I’m pregnant with my 2nd son and my boys will also have a 9-year ago gap (due this summer). Your comments on the age gap made my heart so happy.
The amaryllis… In 2004 I brought my mum an amaryllis bulp from Amsterdam where I visited a friend. It (or all it’s „babies“) are still going strong in mum‘s home. Love that.
I’m wondering where you got the slipper socks in Alex’s bedroom…I’m looking for a less factory produced pair and these look nice and cozy : ) Thank you!
Hi! They are Bombas – a gift from my mother in law! ✨
Curious to hear more about where Abby is reading about gardens? I’m looking for inspiration for my summer plans but haven’t found great sources of inspiration yet! Also appreciate this post as a small respite.
Monty Don’s Gardener’s World shows will inspire the heck out of you : ). Amazon (or Brit Box) https://www.amazon.com/Gardeners-World/dp/B08FWVCF1X
God, I love me some Monty Don.
Beautiful home! Loved seeing the “In the Night Kitchen” print – a favorite book from my childhood that I just recently introduced to our nighttime routine. Both my 6 year old boy and almost 2 year old girl have really connected with it.
I love her home! Only thing is, and this speaks to my peccadilloes, not Abby’s home…I almost wanted to jump into the picture to straighten the artwork on her gallery walls! Maybe I should investigate that…but at 73 I think it’s too late!
I am the delightful person who goes around doing this at people’s homes too lol. Thankfully they either don’t notice or don’t care as I keep getting invited back!
Abbey’s home is inviting, cozy, and beautiful!!!👏Not sure if someone already asked this, but in the bathroom above the tub – who is the artist of the artwork opposite her son’s block print piece? Thank you!!! 💗
That was done by a relative of my husband’s – a great uncle, I think – who was a professional illustrator! ❤️
So beautiful and cozy. I love that living room wall color and have pinned it for when I am out of rentals!
I spy one of Katherine Wolkoff’s Deer Beds… reminds me of early COJ days!
yes!!!! first post about them here: https://cupofjo.com/2008/05/30/deer-beds-2/ then abbey got one for her upper west side apt: https://cupofjo.com/2012/09/06/new-york-city-house-tour/ so beautiful!
The DEER BEDS, Joanna, the deer beds! I never would have imagined I could feel such joy and nostalgia this morning from seeing a stranger (Abbey) STILL using the same art that spoke so deeply to me years ago when I saw her first home tour. I feel like it was just yesterday and 13 years ago, all at the same time (as things do when you’re 42). And, what I remember about that home tour was that she just seemed so… normal? Unfussy? Like me?
@CSW I’m also 42 and found myself tearing up as I read the old post. The state of the world has made me far more nostalgic lately. It feels like I was so young but also like it was yesterday.
We have a small three-bed 1950s house and a family of five; both my husb. and I work from home. The older two kids (7 and 4) share a room; our 2-year-old bunks with us; and we use the third bedroom as an office. I have never figured out the furniture arrangements in house–it seems like we have three living spaces but no dining room. Is the big room that used to have fake terrazzo the dining room? Or the farther-from-the-kitchen room with the wood floor? ??? But I have long envisioned the furniture arrangement in our sunroom if we turned it into a master/office, and I . . . love it. Now to convince my husb. . . . :O) This lovely house gives me all the good feels!
Just have to say that I loved reading this comment for two reasons! First, that your kids are sharing – I shared with my sister growing up in the late 90s/early 00s but I feel like that’s rare these days. My husband and I have a small two bedroom bungalow now, and currently our two year old (who sleeps soundly through the night) has one bedroom and our five month old (who does not lol) sleeps in our room, but eventually they will share a bunk bed in their room (which our two year old is already very excited about!). I also felt solidarity that you don’t have a dining room! We’re eventually going to refinish the basement and plan to have a playroom down there but for now, we have a living room upstairs and what will one day be the dining room is a playroom, which we call the library since we painted it a very dark green, used lots of warm woods and a big cozy rug and have two miniature (child size) wingback chairs with a little lamp on the side table between them. One day we’ll have a dining room and it will be easier to host again, but I’m already nostalgic for the library!
.S — growing up, my parents used what would be a dining room as our playroom, too. As a child, I was unaware of this sacrifice of space. But now as an adult, I see how generous and loving it was for my parents to prioritize play and childhood in our physical space. It was also the room where my parents set up our Christmas tree each year. I love the sound of your playroom! It sounds like a space where your family will make lots of fun memories.
We split our kids (boy and girl) into their own rooms at 8 and 5. When our daughter was born we had the space to move our son (almost 3) into the basement but that felt too far away and scary, so he got the baby as a roommate. When she outgrew the crib they got bunkbeds and honestly seemed to enjoy each other’s company for a few years! This summer was a good time to move them into separate rooms in the basement together – our daughter was starting kindergarten in the fall and our son was asking for more privacy. It was so bittersweet to make that move and change their old shared room into a guest room. I’m glad they had those early years together.
Thank you for these kind thoughts, .S., Gretchen, and Laurel! My oldest two (7 and 4) are girl and boy, and very close, but I suspect by the time our daughter is in fifth-grade we’ll be turning the tiny office back into a bedroom for her, and the boys, much to our middle child’s chagrin, will bunk together. Unless my designs on the sunroom, which is now our playroom, materialize, ha! I also shared a room with my (twin) sister, growing up in in the ’80s, and loved it!
Oh, and I’m nostalgic for that library for you, .S.! What a charming, cozy, sweet space!
I adore all the artwork here. Very random, but for our bigger art pieces I get inexpensive “Non-Glare Clear Acrylic Sheets” from Blick Art Materials to swap out for the glass in frames. No more glare to distract me when the sun hits.
Thank you!!! Fixing that glare has been on my list forever! Xoxoxoxox
Wow, I love Abbey’s observation of and admiration for her sons. I like to think (and hope) that I have the same for my daughters (and that they see that I do). Like, I see them as people and humans in development. I love their interest in the world and hope that they retain their confidence that they can be part of creating positive change. I also just texted my husband that we need more plants in our bathrooms. Delicious.
I still remember this family’s home from the beautiful wallpaper (the reproduction of an old painting) all those years ago! It’s really lovely to see families growing up and how their spaces evolve. I love all the plants! Abbey – can I ask what kind of tree you have behind the couch? Is it a weeping fig? I have a baby weeping fig I’m nurturing at the moment and if it grows up to look anything like this, I’ll be thrilled!
Hi Anna! It’s a Calamondin Orange Tree 🍊 off to look up weeping figs!
Thank you so much Abbey! … and I’m off to look up Calamondin Orange trees! Never such a thing as too many indoor plants. :-)
Are we same person!? I also know Pom from the gardening world AND I read ‘In the Night Kitchen’ to my toddler three times yesterday haha. I still have my copy from when I was little. My almost-three year old loves to cook with me, and I’m going to start singing “Milk in the batter! Milk in the batter! We bake cake and nothing’s the matter!”
Gorgeous home, Abbey! Your boys are so, so lucky – I have 9 years between my sister and I, and I seriously couldn’t make sense of this world without her. Love to precious Argus!
Lovely home.
I spy Deerwood. ❤️❤️❤️ This makes me miss all of you! So lovely!
Such a lovely, comforting home! I would never want to leave. Sipping tea and planning the garden. An oasis. I can imagine how at peace her children must be when coming home. What we all want for our children.
The built-in bookcases (especially in Ben’s room)! The exposed beams! The floors! What a beautiful house, and the decorating choices make it so warm and welcoming. Also, Abbey, you made such a cool quilt – wow! Thank you for sharing.
I’d love to have a recommendation for some of her favorite gardening books.
Hi Liz! My absolute number one fave gardening book is My Garden is a Car Park and Other Design Dilemmas by Kendra Wilson. I also use and look back to Gardenista: The Definitive Guide to Stylish Outdoor Spaces all the time and finally, Planting the Dry Shade Garden: The Best Plants for the Toughest Spot in Your Garden by Graham Rice. xooxoxo Abbey
I was going to ask the same thing, Other Liz! Thank you and thanks Abbey for the reading list. <333
I still have Abbey’s blog from long ago book marked. Her style has always been inspiring, warm, and beautiful. I adore seeing her gorgeous home here. Thank you for sharing (both the home and your thoughts.)
Lovely home, and I particularly appreciate the modestly sized bedrooms! Our home has li’ bedrooms, and it’s nice to see them set up so beautifully.
Cait – I love a lil bedroom too!
I love the interior design of this cozy and warm home. The wood floors are so lovely.
Curious as to the meaning behind $7.99?
What a beautiful home! I, too, am a slow decorator. Even after 20 years, I am still moving things around, painting walls, and “decorating.” Abbey, I am 64 years old, and my siblings are 72, 74, and 77. I was the baby by a long shot, and I have always adored my siblings. Because in many ways I grew up as an only child, we really got to know each other when we were adults. We’ve always been a close family, and as retirees, we text almost every day.
Ellie! Slow decorating for life club! xoxoxox
This is such a joy to read! I just found out I’m pregnant with Kid 5 – when he or she is born, my bigger kids will be 15, almost-13, almost 10 and almost-8. I’ve been fretting about the age gap and the potential for loneliness (especially since the older 4 are such a wonderful gang), but I’m feeling a bit more reassured now. Looking for the gift in the gap, not the loss.
With the wild times lately, HOME feels safe and comforting. Thank you for sharing yours with the webs, Abbey.
Beautiful, cozy home! Thanks for sharing!
I went to grad school with Abbey! Hi Abbey! Love seeing your beautiful home!
Hi Amy! Those were the days! Dec arts for life!
What is the audiobook that she listens to with her younger son? I clicked on the link twice and it timed out both tries.
Dragon Masters! Maybe it timed out because we are using a Spotify link? Here is a link to the series on Libro.fm :) https://libro.fm/search?q=Dragon+Masters&searchby=series&sortby=series_asc
It’s Dragon Masters by Tracey West – the link opens to Spotify where they have books 1-14!
My mum used to get me an amaryllis bulb every Christmas, and I remember her once telling me that planting bulbs was an act of hope. I still get a bulb kit for myself most years, and have taken to planting it around new year’s maybe thinking about my hopes for the year ahead, watching them grow and bloom really does brighten up the darkest part of winter. Obviously I have several now, so last new year I repotted several bulbs from previous Christmases together in a trough planter and three are set to flower! I can’t help thinking it’s going to be a good year.
Just what I needed today
This is all so beautiful, Abbey, and my order-loving heart leapt at the couch/sidetable/lamp symmetry!
Gorgeous home! Also, as the mom of a kid with dyslexia who loves to read, I felt heartened and inspired by your interview. Sharing audiobooks with my kid is a joy too. We’ll have to check out the Odyssey. Would love to hear any other series or advice you have for supporting a kid on this journey ♥️
What really helped us was 1) a summer camp that specializes in dyslexia and Orton Gillingham method (they are rare but out there) 2) tutoring in Orton Gillingham (it’s a method for teaching kids with dyslexia to read) 3) finding ways to feed our son’s thirst for knowledge (this was listening to Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me on NPR and How I Built This, watching countless episodes of Shark Tank). Other audiobook series that worked for us were The Percy Jackson series and the Ranger’s Apprentice series written by John Flanagan. Once he learned to read I actually bought him his own kindle – there is a font setting for kids with dyslexia! Hope this helps a bit. Hang in there mama! PS I have dyslexia too and am now a voracious reader (although – to this day – terrible speller!)
Abbey thanks for sharing this. I am a librarian ( new career) and I have noted your tips and will research more!
Kendra thanks for sharing and Abbey thank you for your tips! You have a beautiful home. I just wanted to add that I’ve really enjoyed following @printableparents on IG. She is trained in Orton Gillingham and has some courses available for purchase, offers some tutoring, and some printables, etc. I’ve learned a lot from her though haven’t taken her courses (yet).
Oh Joyce thank you! Going to check it out that Instagram account now!!
The dyslexia font setting on my Kindle has been a game-changer for me. I’m not dyslexic, but my ADHD made reading (something I always loved) a struggle in recent years. This font has helped me focus and fall in love with books again.
I second the Orton-Gillingham method!. It was amazing for teaching our severely dyslexic son to read. We weren’t able to access tutoring, but used a few programs that embrace the method – The ‘Hairy Letters’ iPad app by Nessie (designed by a mum with a dyslexic son!), and then the ‘Beginning Reading Instruction Books’ by Piper books to replace school journals at home. Reading out loud to him really helped as well, and was fun for us too! :-) It’s been a long journey, but he’s now in his late teens and loves to read.
Beautiful and sunny! I would love to know what the glass case on the counter is!
Hi Mary! Thanks for the nice comment! The glass case on the counter is a find from the big Brimfield antiques/ flea market held three times a year in Brimfield MA. The dealer said it was a display case from a 19th century store. (Re Brimfield Tim and I went together and it was choatic and overwhelming if I’m honest – truly not for the faint of heart (miles of fields of antiques) but worth going at least once if you are design antiques obsessed)
I was going to ask the same. I love the glass case.
Hi Abbey! I might have guessed Brimfield, I’m a big fan. It’s a great piece and your placement of it is perfect.
Man, I feel old now. Time flies. I think about Abby’s original tour monthly and I am glad to see the updated one.
Thank you so much for opening your home to us, Abbey! Abbey, Jo & team: I love the story you shared with us through the photos and Abbey’s quotes about the items you chose, it is all beautiful. My oldest is dyslexic too, and it can be hard and beautiful in many ways. As Abbey mentioned about her son, one day I also realized that my son knows so much – he almost has a thirst for knowledge & retains it beautifully. He, too, learned so much from videos, as Abbey mentioned with her son. Initially I was worried that he would be watching junk on youtube, but I wanted to give him some independence & it ended up that he was watching videos about history. Sharing this for any parents of kids who learn differently: it will be ok, let them know how much you love them & support them & listen to what they are sharing with you, because they know themselves better than anyone.
this is such a beautiful comment, Rachel. thank you for sharing. xo
Rachel, I love you comment so SO so much! I too was worried about the internet (every parent worries LOL) but especially for kids with dyslexia – so powerful to be able to quench that thirst! I’m dyslexic too and I still find videos so important – I taught myself to sew by watching Youtube videos!
As a mum of a teenage dyslexic son this brought tears to my eyes. Thanks Rachel! Also Abbey – thanks so much for being so open and sharing it as part of this home tour. :-)
I love this home! It’s so calming, and creative at the same time! Abbey, I have a dog and a kid- how in the world do you keep that couch clean?! I can wash the cushion covers, but I swear the dog and kid just rub dirt into it’s arms!
I was thinking the same thing re: the couches!
HA! Beth, the struggle is real! The short answer is the couch is not that clean – LOL – but I’ve found these white slipcovers to be pretty easy overall (I wash them every 6 months – I wash the main slipcover in one load and the cushion covers in another. I fill the washer (we have a top loader) with two scoops of oxiclean and warm water – once it’s full I put the slipcover in and let it soak for 30 minutes (I set a timer so that I know how long to let the cushions soak too). I spot treat with a tide stain stick sometimes (I have a tendency to spill my coffee on these)!
I don’t know the answer to this for Abbey, but I also have a white dog and he sheds a LOT, so we have an off-white couch because of him. Anything else would just show a ton of pet hair at all times.
Oh! Just wanted to add that Westies don’t shed as much as other dogs – they have “hair” not “fur” – so Argus needs to have his hair cut fairly often but does not shed like other friends dogs do! (We have only ever had Argus and I didn’t grow up with dogs!) Hope that helps!
I love this so much! When I was about 17 my Granny took me to lunch and we wandered into an art gallery. We chatted about the paintings and she asked if I had to choose one, which one would it be. She bought the painting I choose. Now many years later the painting is now in my bedroom. It is such a lovely memory with her. And I love your needlepoint pillow! The same Granny gave my Mother a very similar looking one but it says “Mirror mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all” HA! My mom thought it was so funny!
Just went ice skating at the Millbrook School Sunday! And the sibling I am closest to is 13 years younger than I am – they will find their way.
What a lovely home and family! I love the comment about what teens know. My son will make random comments about black holes or the universe, and I always what to know – how do you know that? A bit of it is from school of course, but a lot of it is from YouTube! There are terrible things on the internet/social media of course, but it is also amazing how they can follow their interests and find out so many things!
Second comment: plants in the shower = GOALS!
I love this tour! It’s so comforting and beautiful. I love the plants. I’m curious about moving from the city to this space and what that’s like?
HI Ceridwen, Thanks for the nice comment! There are things I love about living in the country (more space! a yard! a garden!) and things I miss terribly about living in Brooklyn (our friends of course! street fashion! grocery delivery! takeout of any kind!). Overall, my anxiety is better (I’m less overestimated for one!). It helps some that I grew up in a very rural town – so some aspects of small town life I was familiar with. For instance, there is a living-in-a-fish bowl quality sometimes to a small town – I will have neighbors come up to me in the one grocery store and comment on changes to my garden – LOL- that never happened in my city life!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful cozy home! CupOfJo, can we have an article with advice on being ok with a home that is just not there yet? We just moved and the kitchen is a disaster! The cabinets are so badly painted you can see the previous color underneath. But it will be a few years before we get budget to replace because well we have other items like the dishwasher and childcare to pay for! How to make peace?
hi Lucia! i see you, i love looking at home tours and i wish i had the budget and the time (and mental space) to refine my home. One thing that helps me is noticing how the pictures I actually like the most, the ones that I feel would look more cosy and charming are the ones that are not perfect. And i realise that I don’t want to fall into the rabbit hole of thinking that coffee table/armchair/etc. is what is missing. Until something else will come along that needs to be replaced, and so goes on.. That doesn’t mean that one day I won’t eventually upgrade to a nicer armchair etc, but I want to try to not ruminate on it until the right time and the right one comes. Maybe while waiting for the right time to replace those kitchen cabinets, you could cover them with drawings from your child/childs? :)
Unhelpful, but I made peace with it by having the perfect house and life still made me cry. It’s not the house, I promise. In the meantime there’s freedom in a crappy house. Paint the cabinets or rip the doors off and hang cute curtains in their place. We now live in an average house and I am so much happier, and our guests are more comfortable (they’ve said so).
As a person whose home is “just not there yet” I have, to borrow a phrase, So Many Thoughts. – The lovely paint I put on my walls 2.5 years ago has quite a few marks on it. Marks made by life. The marks annoy me, but they are inevitable, no, in an actual home that human beings live in? – Why do I already have to repaint walls that were only painted 2.5 years ago?! That seems… tedious. – Will my home ever be “there”? People say that you never get to the end of your to do list, that is life. I find that more depressing than helpful. But it does mean other people are (largely) not judging, because they are in the same boat. – Anyone who does judge is a dickhead and we do not need their opinions. – I am both grateful to have a kitchen at all, and bothered by it’s ugliness. It’s SO ugly. My gratitude is not smug. It is hard won and easily forgotten. An almost daily battle I fight with myself while worrying how much of an arsehole I must be to need to remember to be grateful. – Rich people whose lives look perfect are not always happy, so I hear? – Taking time to make the right decisions while you save for a project is probably a good thing? I bet loads of people have made expensive mistakes while rushing. – Try not to think about the people who know exactly what they want and have perfect taste and the money to execute their ideas. They are already feeling good about themselves (presumably), we don’t have to feel good about them to our own detriment. – Taking time also means avoiding trends, which has to be a good thing. Oh, look at me, judging people who follow trends. – The people who know you know you have good taste because you chose them to be in your life. And they know you hate bits of your house because you will have told them. Everyone understands that time and money are real constraints. – You are not alone.
Our house is almost all pre-loved furniture and books – some from friends, many from charity shops, some as hand-me-down gifts, and many off the street – some we’ve refinished, but others we’ve left ‘as is’ … and the occasional piece from ikea! Nothing matches, but aesthetically everything goes together somehow? My breakthrough was realising that instead of having a perfect house, I could have a home in which everything has a story. :-)
Lucia, I just have to tell you about my favorite teacher on “home”, Myquillin Smith. She calls herself a cozy minimalist which means getting the most amount of style out of the least amount of stuff. She has totally revamped my ideas of how to make a home — I’m talking clear guidance on timing, money, temporary fixes (I didn’t even know that was a thing?!), being perfectly imperfect, and going slowly. She has 5 steps that are so wonderful and helpful when building rooms. I really can’t recommend her or her Cozy Community enough. The only downside to me is that it’s on Facebook, but it’s the ONLY reason I keep my Facebook account active. Her motto is do what you know, use what you have, finish what you started. She has a few books that have helped me immensely too. GOOD LUCK! and NO RUSH! I hope this helps!
I love this so so much. It feels warm and personal and creative but not cluttered, which is what I aspire to (and am currently struggling with!). I especially love the slight imperfections in the gallery wall – makes it feel super unfussy and fun. :)
I have a sister who is 9 years younger than me (5 kids in the family spanning 18 years) and I am closest to her as an adult and mom. To our delight we had babies the same year and get to mother our daughters side-by-side. Beautiful home and I loved your comment about teens. I’m always reminding myself of this – it is completely natural for my teen to pull away.
Did they keep the hot tub? Loved everything about Abby and her beautiful home. NW Connecticut is amazing best kept secret of New England! Close proximity to NYC & Boston, RI beaches plus Hartford has small cultural and arts scene. Access to gorgeous nature. Solid public schools, tons of private & boarding schools and reasonable property taxes for Northeast.
LOL, the hot tub was already gone when we toured the house!
Hi Tina! My husband and I live in Fairfield County and have recently taken interest in NW CT as our family continues to grow. Are there any towns you would recommend we check out, particularly for a family with young children? And leads would be so, so appreciated!
Odysseus didn’t deserve Argus, but it’s a grand name for such a gorgeous pup! No decent person could leave their dog (or wife and son) for two decades! Your house is gorgeous! Just seriously gorgeous- it makes me feel like you have the best advice in all situations!
LOVE the greenery! House plants in all those adoring and surprising, nookie places makes the cozy factor all the more. I dream in green! 🌿🌿🪴 your home is so tastefully punctuated.
Off to Google “how to force a bulb” and “funny pillows.” Thanks Abbey.
Furbish embroidered pillow section for the pillow idea. Unsure on the bulb bit!
“Now, 13 years later, Abbey, Tim, six-foot-tall Alex, and her youngest son, Ben, live in the northwest corner of Connecticut, in a home with reading nooks, colorful artwork, and so many plants. Here’s a look inside…” Please include Argus, he is such an important part of the family and home!
OMG the dog <3 <3 (Also: What a beautiful home!)
I have always remembered that Deer Bed photograph (over the credenza in the living/dining room) from CoJ’s post. Wow 2008, time has passed. There’s just something about that picture…like, “oh wait, deer have beds?” It’s so gentle, peaceful and thought provoking. Beautiful then and beautiful now. https://cupofjo.com/2008/05/30/deer-beds-2/
I have also always remembered that photo. If I had more funds, I would buy it for my father-in-law. It makes me think of him.
Ordering amaryllis bulbs right this second. Even though I live in LA, it’s still winter. I still need reminders that spring is in the ground; that magic is just under the surface. Thank you for the excellent suggestion for bringing in more beauty.
My Mom’s Trader Joe’s one is doing shockingly well still.
Trader Joe’s has the BEST amaryllis bulbs!! As does, at least near me, CVS! I will warn that the bulbs ordered from mail order can take MONTHS to bloom vs the bulbs bought at retail…. I learned this the hard way!
My sister is eight years younger than me and she is my best friend, literally. We text all day, everyday, about everything. She’s 33 now and doesn’t FEEL like my baby sister anymore.
I love to hear this so much!
I can feel the love in this house through my screen.
I love everything about this house. Also, we are in the process of replacing an old bathtub, and I’ve realized that I need one that has handles! That would probably be a wise choice for my aging body…
I have a 9 year old and 9-month old, so I really appreciate Abby’s comments about that. It’s so encouraging. Our baby was a surprise and I was really nervous about the age gap, but it’s been sweet to watch their relationship develop.
Abbey is such a genius at creating comforting welcoming spaces ✨ They are even more magical irl.
they really are! (hi Stephanie!!) and she always has the yummiest cheese and fruit and crackers etc. she creates the most welcoming and homey home xoxo
Beautiful home! I am struggling to achieve a similar vibe in my house so lots of inspiration here! Also, I’m not even much of a dog person, but that is the cutest dog!!
My Westie was primarily an indoor dog , stayed the same size & weight for 16 years. She went deaf the last couple of years. She only shed continuously at the vets on the metal table- I learned to bring my own beach towel to cover the table or hold her for her shots. She had a happy disposition. I hope all westies are like mine was.
This home is beautiful and just oozes comfort to me. Love it!
You’ve really captured the essence of Abbey (and her house)! It is FULL of books (in the best way)…just not shown here!
haha yes, we cut a few photos because the layout of her house is squiggly and we thought it seemed confusing — those were the photos with the giant bookcases! ;)
Ooh I’d love to see books!! The best part!! Love the greenery